Latest / The Trauma Therapist / Opportunity Riding A Dangerous Wing with Dr. Howard Woodruff

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Opportunity Riding A Dangerous Wing with Dr. Howard Woodruff · The Trauma Therapist

0:00
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapists podcast. My name is gaming Person.
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Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
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Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
0:11
Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.
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Speaker 1: So Live four three, two and one, our folks, welcome
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Speaker 1: back to the podcast. Very excited to have as my
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Speaker 1: guest today, doctor Howard T. Woodriff. Howard welcome.
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Speaker 2: Oh, thank you guy. It's great to be here with
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Speaker 2: you and your fans appreciate it.
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Speaker 1: So. Doctor Woodroff is a Christian leader, life coach, crisis expert,
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Speaker 1: and the founder of Reclaimed Living who transforms grief into
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Speaker 1: growth and pain into purpose with a deep experience and
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Speaker 1: disaster response, theological reflection, and emotional healing. He stands as
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Speaker 1: a trusted guide for individuals and organizations seeking lasting change
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Speaker 1: through faith, courage, and practical wisdom. All right, just a
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Speaker 1: bit about you, Howard, but before we get going, share
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Speaker 1: with the listeners where you're from originally and where you
1:01
Speaker 1: are currently.
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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm actually from Williamsport, Pennsylvania, and I'm in Williamsport, Pennsylvania.
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Speaker 2: We're just getting ready to start the Little League World
1:11
Speaker 2: Series here, so that WOW starts tomorrow, so we're we're
1:14
Speaker 2: all excited here. I'm really involved with that project.
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Speaker 1: Well, I spent a lot of time in Pennsylvania and Philadelphia,
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Speaker 1: so connected back there. So your bio just even the
1:29
Speaker 1: bit I read, but even there's more to it. Obviously,
1:34
Speaker 1: it's very what's the word intense and impressive? I mean
1:39
Speaker 1: ground zero you spend time working in that situation. But
1:45
Speaker 1: let's before we get there, how did all this start
1:48
Speaker 1: for you?
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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, Well, it actually started in my childhood.
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Speaker 2: My earliest recollections were, you know, I was probably about
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Speaker 2: ten years old, and I idolized my father. He was man,
2:00
Speaker 2: he was bigger than life. He was my hero, you know.
2:05
Speaker 2: I wanted to pattern my life after his, and and
2:08
Speaker 2: as I reflect on on that, I think the thing
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Speaker 2: that really stood out was the people who would come
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Speaker 2: to him and just ask him for his opinion on
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Speaker 2: different issues. And I saw in my father, you know,
2:22
Speaker 2: a person who was non judgmental. He was in the
2:27
Speaker 2: in the Commonwealth Pennsylvania. Back at that time we had
2:30
Speaker 2: what were called justice of the Pieces that are now
2:33
Speaker 2: district magistrates. So he was you know, literally a judge,
2:37
Speaker 2: and the people that I would see come before him,
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Speaker 2: he just treated so kindly and with the utmost respect,
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Speaker 2: even though they they they committed, you know, some of
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Speaker 2: the worst atrocities ever. I guess that's that's where I
2:52
Speaker 2: learned to separate the person from the activity themselves, you know,
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Speaker 2: And so started growing up with that. He was a
3:01
Speaker 2: volunteer firefighter, and that's what I wanted to be when
3:04
Speaker 2: I grew up. And then as I got older, the
3:07
Speaker 2: field of para medicine opened up. And so I was
3:11
Speaker 2: about sixteen years old when I became an emergency medical
3:15
Speaker 2: technician and one Easter Sunday morning, I was sleeping over
3:20
Speaker 2: at the firehouse on call and we got to call
3:23
Speaker 2: my home. It was my father. He had a seizure.
3:27
Speaker 2: He ended up having a traumatic brain injury and had surgery,
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Speaker 2: and back in the seventies, there was just so much
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Speaker 2: residual trauma that was left as a result of the
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Speaker 2: surgery itself that he just he wasn't the same person
3:41
Speaker 2: that he was. And boy, I remember being so angry
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Speaker 2: with God. I really didn't have a faith at that time,
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Speaker 2: you know, I thought I knew of a God, But
3:54
Speaker 2: when that happened. I thought, you know, what, if that's
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Speaker 2: what you're about, I want nothing to do with you,
3:58
Speaker 2: and really distant myself from him at the time, you know,
4:02
Speaker 2: I felt I needed to, you know, pick up some
4:04
Speaker 2: of the family responsibilities, started working a couple of jobs
4:07
Speaker 2: while it was still in high school. And and that's
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Speaker 2: where I met my uh my wife. And the funny
4:15
Speaker 2: thing is she's four years older than I am, and
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Speaker 2: she was a registered nurse, and I was this you know,
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Speaker 2: male nurse aid, you know, and and oh my gosh,
4:25
Speaker 2: it was just so funny because I didn't tell her
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Speaker 2: how old I was. She thought I had already graduated
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Speaker 2: high school, you know. And but we came together and
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Speaker 2: and I tell everybody to this day, she is the
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Speaker 2: reason I am not in jail today because she she
4:39
Speaker 2: helped me refocus my life. You know. We got married,
4:43
Speaker 2: then we had a son a couple of years after
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Speaker 2: our marriage, and I got uh plugged into it, into
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Speaker 2: a church that I loved and became, you know, a
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Speaker 2: real faithful follower of Jesus Christ. And and as things
5:00
Speaker 2: would have it, I became actually the youngest paramedic in
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Speaker 2: in Pennsylvania history. And I say these things, not to
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Speaker 2: pat myself on the back, but as I reflect, I
5:11
Speaker 2: see how God had been at work in my life
5:13
Speaker 2: and I didn't even realize it. You know, I didn't
5:15
Speaker 2: know all these things were going on. Worked as a
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Speaker 2: paramedic paramedic instructor for a few years. Then I went
5:21
Speaker 2: out on my own sort of, my own company, developed
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Speaker 2: a couple EMS systems. I worked for a emergency medical
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Speaker 2: services system as their director, and I was living the life. Man.
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Speaker 2: I was, you know, at a hospital. I was moving up.
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Speaker 2: I was an assistant administrator at the age of twenty four,
5:39
Speaker 2: with no college background whatsoever, you know, And it was like, man,
5:45
Speaker 2: I was just living living the dream. And then the
5:48
Speaker 2: dream collapsed. I lost my job because of downsizing, ended
5:52
Speaker 2: up having to take a job out of state, which
5:56
Speaker 2: which which I enjoyed. It was okay, but that's a
5:59
Speaker 2: whole nother story. But you know, then, as as God
6:03
Speaker 2: would have it, man, I mean, what a sense of
6:05
Speaker 2: humor God has, uh? He actually called He called me
6:08
Speaker 2: to the ministry. And I got a call one night,
6:12
Speaker 2: you know, and remember standing before God and I put
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Speaker 2: my head down and I said, I'm a I'm a
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Speaker 2: horrible person. I've done horrible things, and all of a sudden,
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Speaker 2: I felt this huge rush of energy go by me
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Speaker 2: and and I just heard God say, okay, I've made
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Speaker 2: you clean. I want you to do my work, and
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Speaker 2: and and guy, I had no idea what that meant.
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Speaker 2: You know, I thought I was a pretty perceptive individual,
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Speaker 2: you know, but oh my gosh. So I became a
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Speaker 2: pastor and have served in the pastorate for for thirty
6:43
Speaker 2: five years. And really my passion is combining spirituality, not
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Speaker 2: not religion, but spirituality or faith basis with you know,
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Speaker 2: with tragedy and turmoil, and teaching people how to you
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Speaker 2: to you know, go through those situations, but more importantly,
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Speaker 2: how to prepare for them before they do happen, so
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Speaker 2: that when they happen, we're not so blindsided.
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Speaker 1: And as let me let me interject you for a second,
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Speaker 1: appreciate you sharing all that. How do you define or
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Speaker 1: differentiate between religion and spirituality.
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Speaker 2: Spirituality is is basic, basically your your belief in in
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Speaker 2: a higher power, in something that exists bigger and better
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Speaker 2: than us. Whereas religion is it's you know, it is
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Speaker 2: about embracing of course, that that ultimate being, but it's
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Speaker 2: also following a set of rules established by by man themselves.
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Speaker 2: And I say, you know, nothing has destroyed faith and
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Speaker 2: spirituality like religion has, you know, And because that that's
7:54
Speaker 2: that's really what we fight about, you know, when when
7:56
Speaker 2: we have those you know, spirituals and stuff, we we
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Speaker 2: are really fighting about the dogmatics of of you know,
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Speaker 2: human laws, human uh interests, human rules. Whereas if we
8:11
Speaker 2: would just simply live. You know, I'm a follower of
8:13
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, So if we would simply live as he
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Speaker 2: had said, you know, love everybody, respect everybody, let God
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Speaker 2: sort it out in the end. And and that's that's
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Speaker 2: what I'm about. You know, I make no no, no
8:27
Speaker 2: beefs that I'm you know, a christ follower. But I've
8:29
Speaker 2: worked with Muslims, I've worked with Hindus, uh.
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Speaker 1: You know.
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Speaker 2: At the following the tsunami, I went over on the
8:37
Speaker 2: request of the President of India to help rebuild the
8:42
Speaker 2: country there. And you know, so I had to kind
8:46
Speaker 2: of mesh different faith values as as well. And it
8:50
Speaker 2: was a it was a wonderful, wonderful trip for me.
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Speaker 1: Let's talk a little bit about specifically. You mentioned you
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Speaker 1: you you blend the work of spirituality and what crisis.
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Speaker 2: Yes, okay, yeah.
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Speaker 1: How give us an example of how you do that
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Speaker 1: and whether you want to use one of your experiences
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Speaker 1: or so forth.
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Speaker 2: Oh okay, all right, yeah, I'll use a very vivid experience.
9:19
Speaker 2: I had been a pastor for twenty four years. Again,
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Speaker 2: Easter Sunday two thousand and nine, our son was home
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Speaker 2: from He was a sergeant in the US Marine in
9:32
Speaker 2: Special Forces, so he had just come back from a
9:35
Speaker 2: deployment and he was with us at our house and
9:40
Speaker 2: ended up, to make a long story short, he ended
9:42
Speaker 2: up dying in a vehicle accident as he went back
9:46
Speaker 2: to Camp La June. And thank god, the military does
9:53
Speaker 2: such a great job in helping their soldiers prepare their
9:58
Speaker 2: survivors in case anything happens. But before every deployment, my
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Speaker 2: son and I would get together and we'd sit out
10:05
Speaker 2: on our porch and you know, we do the macho thing.
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Speaker 2: We'd drink some brandy, we'd smoke a cigar and talk
10:11
Speaker 2: about things. And he would always say, Dad, listen, if
10:14
Speaker 2: if anything happens, I know where I'm going take my
10:18
Speaker 2: organs whatever people need, you know, and don't name anything
10:23
Speaker 2: after me, you know. So he's going to roll over
10:25
Speaker 2: in his grave because I'll tell you in a few minutes.
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Speaker 2: But then as he went back to camp, we think
10:31
Speaker 2: what happened was he had a brainyanneurism that ruptured because
10:34
Speaker 2: he was driving in his truck and the truck went
10:38
Speaker 2: into the median and a passer by on the other
10:41
Speaker 2: side said they saw this truck going down the median
10:44
Speaker 2: without a driver in it. So I think he was
10:47
Speaker 2: incapacitated and then ended up having a traumatic brain injury.
10:52
Speaker 2: And he was he was brain dead. So that that Monday,
10:57
Speaker 2: right the day after Easter, you know, we're and I
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Speaker 2: see you as they're keeping him alive so we can
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Speaker 2: harvest his organs. And that that Monday night, I went
11:07
Speaker 2: outside and I was just land based in God. You know,
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Speaker 2: I thought, jez if anybody should get a break, I
11:13
Speaker 2: mean you would think a pastor would get a break.
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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm working for you, God, you know. And
11:17
Speaker 2: and literally, you know again, just as clear as as
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Speaker 2: you know, I can, I can convey I heard God say, Howard,
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Speaker 2: what did you just celebrate yesterday? You know, when we celebrated,
11:28
Speaker 2: of course, the resurrection of Jesus Christ on Easter. And
11:32
Speaker 2: and he said, there you have it. And and I
11:35
Speaker 2: all of a sudden understood the incredible amount of love
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Speaker 2: that God has for us, even when we don't deserve it.
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Speaker 2: I mean, there there, I am. I would have done anything.
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Speaker 2: I would have changed places, of course with my son,
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Speaker 2: and I would have died and let him live. But
11:51
Speaker 2: but there's there's God who certainly could have done that
11:53
Speaker 2: for his son. But you know, he allowed his son
11:56
Speaker 2: to die so that we would have our forgiveness and
12:00
Speaker 2: and our faith. And I just thought, man, if that
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Speaker 2: doesn't show the depth of love and what I've got
12:05
Speaker 2: to start to model as well and share with people.
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Speaker 2: And and I just because of that, because of that
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Speaker 2: whole process, I built the back to Abundancy framework that
12:16
Speaker 2: I use now in my counseling and in my coaching
12:20
Speaker 2: of people, that teaches them to reflect back on their lives,
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Speaker 2: look at all their tragic moments, their struggling moments, but
12:29
Speaker 2: look what was birth out of those moments. And we
12:32
Speaker 2: begin to see that there are beautiful results out of
12:36
Speaker 2: every tragedy that comes. And again that's not to minimize
12:39
Speaker 2: the tragedy, but it's to recognize the fact that tragedy
12:43
Speaker 2: has a place, it has a role, and sometimes it
12:47
Speaker 2: involves us. Sometimes it doesn't so well.
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Speaker 1: First of all, my God, my heart goes out to you.
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Speaker 1: And when I asked you to give an example, I
12:57
Speaker 1: didn't know you're going to give that example. Yeah, but man,
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Speaker 1: the way you explain, was it a I mean, was
13:08
Speaker 1: it as seamless? I mean, it seemed like it just
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Speaker 1: came to you to this understanding.
13:13
Speaker 2: The originally you know, it wasn't seamless. It's it's all
13:18
Speaker 2: been a journey and a lot of my counseling, I
13:22
Speaker 2: I talk and I use some of the you know,
13:25
Speaker 2: Far Eastern uh meditative understanding as well, that that life
13:29
Speaker 2: is all about energy. Energy is constantly moving, and where
13:33
Speaker 2: we as individuals get ourselves stuck is when we try
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Speaker 2: to push back and prevent that energy from going rather
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Speaker 2: than harnessing it and using it. And so after literally
13:44
Speaker 2: after I had that message, you know, from from God,
13:47
Speaker 2: I just started studying a lot and and and you know,
13:51
Speaker 2: gradually God led me to this understanding that that these
13:56
Speaker 2: tragedies happen, that they serve a purpose, and that the
14:00
Speaker 2: best thing we can do is we can you know,
14:03
Speaker 2: ride with it, ride through it, and get over it.
14:06
Speaker 2: And then as I'm studying. You know, I come to
14:08
Speaker 2: find out that that that crisis I forget where I
14:12
Speaker 2: where I saw this, but but crisis interpreted in the
14:15
Speaker 2: in the farest you're concept is literally interpreted as opportunity
14:22
Speaker 2: riding a dangerous wind. And and I and I love
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Speaker 2: that because it is you know, in every crisis, there
14:29
Speaker 2: certainly is danger that's involved, but there's there's great benefits
14:33
Speaker 2: that come to and and and we just have to
14:36
Speaker 2: re orient and reprogram our minds to deal with that
14:40
Speaker 2: trauma that that comes to a society wants us so
14:43
Speaker 2: much to be victims, and and I I purport we
14:47
Speaker 2: can be victors.
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Speaker 1: We you know, when you were when you're working in
14:54
Speaker 1: a crisis situation with people, I'm thinking about ground zero,
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Speaker 1: How oh to what degree, if at all, do you
15:03
Speaker 1: incorporate that belief, that process, that system, that of working
15:12
Speaker 1: with energy?
15:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, I I And that's that's a great lead. And
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Speaker 2: I first talk about that energy source, and I and
15:20
Speaker 2: I talk about the fact that we can't we can't
15:23
Speaker 2: try to blockade that energy. And right now, the energy
15:26
Speaker 2: that is coming to you going through these these moments,
15:30
Speaker 2: you know, is certainly sorrow, fear, anger, all of those emotions.
15:37
Speaker 2: Don't try to bottle them up. Let let them come out,
15:40
Speaker 2: but but don't don't let them, you know, destroy yourself,
15:44
Speaker 2: you know, Uh, try to funnel them in in ways
15:47
Speaker 2: that will not hurt you, and then will slowly start
15:51
Speaker 2: to incorporate the sense of, you know, working through these
15:55
Speaker 2: moments and being able, you know. I will sometimes like
15:59
Speaker 2: hold out a little herrod and tease them to say, well,
16:01
Speaker 2: what what what do you think could come out of this?
16:05
Speaker 2: You know, what good do you think could come out
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Speaker 2: of this?
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Speaker 1: And what a lot of people like, who are you kidding?
16:13
Speaker 2: Exactly? Yeah, yeah, what do you mean?
16:15
Speaker 1: What good? I just lost my son? I just lost
16:18
Speaker 1: my daughter.
16:19
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, yeah, that's that's why you do that
16:22
Speaker 2: away a while after you're involved in the in the
16:25
Speaker 2: whole process. And and so many people when I when
16:29
Speaker 2: I've trained chaplains as well, I tell them, I say,
16:32
Speaker 2: don't don't use these trite phrases. You know, I've dealt
16:36
Speaker 2: with parents who have lost infants and and God didn't
16:39
Speaker 2: need another angel, you know, right, less people that do that.
16:45
Speaker 2: But it's like, you know, there's there's a purpose, there's
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Speaker 2: a plan. Maybe we'll find it out, Maybe we won't.
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Speaker 2: But but we've we've got to trust that it's it's
16:57
Speaker 2: going to work out for the better of the world
17:00
Speaker 2: that has yet to come and that and that's where
17:03
Speaker 2: I find that that you know, your your faith has
17:08
Speaker 2: got so much more to do with it, because boy,
17:10
Speaker 2: if if you go into this thinking you'll never ever
17:13
Speaker 2: see that loved one again, that really is going to complicate,
17:17
Speaker 2: you know, your whole grief process. Whereas if you have
17:21
Speaker 2: a belief in an afterlife and that you know you're
17:24
Speaker 2: going to see that loved one again, it makes the
17:27
Speaker 2: rest of the journey, you know, navigatable for you as
17:32
Speaker 2: you as you move through life.
17:34
Speaker 1: So let me just remind everyone I'm speaking with doctor
17:37
Speaker 1: Howard Woodruff is founder of Reclaimed Living. So at what
17:41
Speaker 1: point did you decide to found Reclaim Living and what
17:48
Speaker 1: specifically do you do?
17:50
Speaker 2: Okay, I actually found founded Reclaimed Living about eighteen months ago,
17:56
Speaker 2: but I've been doing the work for probably fifteen or
18:01
Speaker 2: sixteen years, working through I became a critical incident stress
18:11
Speaker 2: debrief for SISM and then through that became affiliated with
18:17
Speaker 2: a couple of statewide organizations dealing in crisis, and then
18:22
Speaker 2: was just doing a lot of consulting on my own,
18:27
Speaker 2: but then somebody said, you know, you really ought to
18:29
Speaker 2: form a company, and we've talked about it, and my
18:33
Speaker 2: big dream would be to train and try to certify
18:37
Speaker 2: people around the world who are doing exactly what I'm doing,
18:41
Speaker 2: and you know, certainly being able to help people who
18:44
Speaker 2: have gone through crises, but more importantly train people how
18:48
Speaker 2: to deal with them when they arise, because they are
18:52
Speaker 2: going to rise. Everybody is going to have a crisis
18:55
Speaker 2: event in their life, and so you know, when we
18:58
Speaker 2: go through the path of physiology of crisis and talk
19:04
Speaker 2: about the brain patterns, and then I incorporate a little
19:07
Speaker 2: bit of of the Myers Briggs MBT I as to
19:09
Speaker 2: how we all are wired, how we interpret things, how
19:12
Speaker 2: we deal with things, because not certainly one size doesn't
19:16
Speaker 2: fit all anymore.
19:18
Speaker 1: And let's let's talk about, if you will, how to
19:23
Speaker 1: manage a critical incident, talking about something like if we
19:29
Speaker 1: could use ground zero, which is a major example, I
19:32
Speaker 1: guess on the continuum of crises. How how does how
19:40
Speaker 1: do you go about organizing that?
19:44
Speaker 2: Working with that, Yeah, certainly, the very first thing we
19:50
Speaker 2: need to do is we need to establish somewhat of
19:53
Speaker 2: a ground level to say, look, the crisis has passed.
19:58
Speaker 2: We are all safe. Here. We can now inventory what
20:03
Speaker 2: has happened and develop a plan of action, because really
20:08
Speaker 2: what's complicating everything that's going on is the fact that
20:11
Speaker 2: that our brain is in some place that it's never
20:14
Speaker 2: been before. And and usually when that happens, our brains
20:18
Speaker 2: will try to default back to something similar, so we
20:22
Speaker 2: can accommodate what's what's happened and somewhat begin to make
20:27
Speaker 2: sense of it. But in a crisis situation, you know,
20:30
Speaker 2: when those two towers came down, nobody has ever been
20:33
Speaker 2: in a situation like that. So we've we've we've got
20:36
Speaker 2: to start to work and say, okay, look, first of all,
20:38
Speaker 2: we're all safe. Okay, we've got a job to do.
20:42
Speaker 2: This is going to be gut wrenching. This is going
20:44
Speaker 2: to be be be heart heart wrenching, all of those things,
20:47
Speaker 2: but we're going to do it together. We're going to
20:50
Speaker 2: walk through this together. If anybody ever feels isolated or alone,
20:54
Speaker 2: the best thing they can do is partner with somebody.
20:57
Speaker 2: And and and I like to say, bes parent, you know,
21:01
Speaker 2: don't put that stiff upper lip out there and say
21:03
Speaker 2: I'm okay, I mean I saw that the toughest of
21:07
Speaker 2: firefighters and policemen just you know, fall down on their
21:10
Speaker 2: knees in tears, and because you know here here they're
21:16
Speaker 2: they're they're peers, and and in the fire service, you
21:20
Speaker 2: know that that that love that is there, and they're
21:23
Speaker 2: having to clean up, clean up all this. So yeah,
21:26
Speaker 2: basically you know, getting getting people just to to step back,
21:30
Speaker 2: take a breath, get ready for the next step, and
21:33
Speaker 2: literally for the next so many parts of your life.
21:37
Speaker 2: You're going to be living it, not even day to day,
21:40
Speaker 2: you're going to be living living it step after step.
21:43
Speaker 2: Just take one step forward, Okay, then the next step.
21:46
Speaker 1: Like the thirty thousand foot view, right, yes, yeah, organize
21:53
Speaker 1: a plan. What about in the micro moment of someone
21:58
Speaker 1: experiencing that critical incident.
22:02
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going.
22:03
Speaker 1: To be going into some big therapy. We're dealing with
22:07
Speaker 1: a crisis in the moment.
22:10
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, for first of all, again identifying that the
22:13
Speaker 2: crisis is over, that everyone is safe, and now what
22:18
Speaker 2: is your role going to be? What? What do you think?
22:21
Speaker 2: You know, why why are you there? You know, we're
22:25
Speaker 2: a firm believer that nothing happens just by circumstances, just
22:29
Speaker 2: just by coincidence. That everything happens for a reason, there's
22:32
Speaker 2: a plan for everything, and you're there at that moment
22:37
Speaker 2: for a specific reason. And let's let's find out what
22:39
Speaker 2: that is. And let's know that you're you're not alone.
22:42
Speaker 2: You've got people here who are going to walk with you.
22:45
Speaker 2: You've got people here who are going to support you.
22:49
Speaker 1: That's interesting because what I'm what what that tells me
22:52
Speaker 1: is you were You're empowering that person with meaning, Yes,
22:57
Speaker 1: with significance.
22:59
Speaker 2: Yes, y right, you.
23:00
Speaker 1: Have a purpose here as exactly, are as sucky as
23:04
Speaker 1: this is, right now, you have a meaning.
23:08
Speaker 2: Right right exactly. And and sometimes you know, the situation
23:15
Speaker 2: is going to present those moments that you can deal with,
23:19
Speaker 2: and other times they're going to be overwhelming. I had
23:23
Speaker 2: a gentleman tell me, you know, when my son died.
23:25
Speaker 2: He said, you know, at fourteen, his brother committed suicide.
23:30
Speaker 2: And he said, somebody shared with him that grief is
23:34
Speaker 2: like standing in an ocean, you know, just at knee depth.
23:39
Speaker 2: You know, sometimes you get those little waves that you
23:41
Speaker 2: can deal with, and then other times you get waves
23:43
Speaker 2: that just knock you on your ass. And there you are,
23:47
Speaker 2: and he says, you just got to get up, stand firm,
23:51
Speaker 2: and you know, get ready to go through it again.
23:54
Speaker 2: But the most important thing is that you know that
23:58
Speaker 2: you can you can do this. You can take control
24:01
Speaker 2: of the situation and you can be empowered, you know,
24:04
Speaker 2: to to move on now through life. And that's that's
24:08
Speaker 2: helped me immensely.
24:12
Speaker 1: You know. It's it's interesting, Howard you were. The work
24:16
Speaker 1: you do kind of spoke to me as you're blending
24:21
Speaker 1: these uh somewhat disparate pursuits interests, you know, crisis, spirituality,
24:29
Speaker 1: although they almost seem like two sides of a coin
24:31
Speaker 1: and in a sense, but that that really speaks to
24:37
Speaker 1: me the work you do, What do you think, what
24:42
Speaker 1: do you believe? What do you know allows you to
24:45
Speaker 1: do this work?
24:47
Speaker 2: I really believe I've been gifted by God just just
24:51
Speaker 2: to be able to be in these situations and and
24:54
Speaker 2: not let them overwhelm me. Uh and and and one
24:59
Speaker 2: of one of the issue shoes is, you know, when
25:01
Speaker 2: I was going through my my chaplaincy training, my my
25:06
Speaker 2: evaluator in my evaluation, he said, you know, I've talked
25:10
Speaker 2: to people on the floors and they wonder what what
25:13
Speaker 2: allows Howard to be? You know, have the coolness to
25:17
Speaker 2: walk into the worst of situations get control of it,
25:21
Speaker 2: and make people feel that things are going to work out.
25:25
Speaker 2: Not everything's going to be okay, but things are going
25:28
Speaker 2: to work out. And and that I just think, you know,
25:31
Speaker 2: God has has revealed that to me, and and I
25:35
Speaker 2: just want to share that with with other people as
25:37
Speaker 2: well and try to, you know, help them through their
25:40
Speaker 2: their situations.
25:43
Speaker 1: You talked about earlier in your life where you didn't
25:48
Speaker 1: you didn't have this belief, you didn't have this faith right,
25:51
Speaker 1: and yet when you met that woman who is a
25:56
Speaker 1: little older than you, she she introduce you to the church,
26:03
Speaker 1: things turned around for you. What turned around you.
26:08
Speaker 2: I think what turned around for me was was the
26:11
Speaker 2: belief that I have a responsibility to people around me,
26:15
Speaker 2: that life is not about me, that life is about
26:19
Speaker 2: what I can give to others and as and as
26:22
Speaker 2: I thought about that, I thought, Wow, that's that's exactly
26:24
Speaker 2: what my father was about, and that that's what really
26:27
Speaker 2: attracted me to him. And so when I started doing that,
26:31
Speaker 2: when I started just basically saying, look, I'm going to
26:34
Speaker 2: live my life for those around me and and no
26:38
Speaker 2: longer just live it to see what I can get
26:40
Speaker 2: out of it, and what excitement I can I've had.
26:43
Speaker 2: I've had the most incredible joys since that turnaround as well,
26:48
Speaker 2: just just just helping others. I used to coach soccer
26:53
Speaker 2: and coach, you know, high school soccer, and boy, if
26:56
Speaker 2: you want to challenge coach high school girls soccer, I mean, oh,
27:00
Speaker 2: my goodness, it's it's great. But but what is what
27:03
Speaker 2: is amazing is is just watching their eyes light up
27:07
Speaker 2: when all of a sudden they get it. You know, oh,
27:10
Speaker 2: if I pass, I can run faster and then get
27:12
Speaker 2: the ball again, you know, and and just when they
27:14
Speaker 2: start putting everything together, it's it's electrifying. And and I
27:19
Speaker 2: see a lot of that also with you know, with
27:21
Speaker 2: a lot of the people that I work with and
27:24
Speaker 2: team with in in crisis events. What do you mean
27:29
Speaker 2: as far as oh, you know what, there there may
27:32
Speaker 2: be some purpose behind this. When I thought, all of
27:35
Speaker 2: a sudden, life was just a crapshoot and it was just,
27:39
Speaker 2: you know, whatever happened. But but really we can, we
27:42
Speaker 2: can dictate what what happens. And you know, again dealing
27:47
Speaker 2: with the death of my son, you know, reading back
27:51
Speaker 2: to three generations, you know, farmers, farming families had lots
27:56
Speaker 2: of children because they expected a few of them to die.
28:00
Speaker 2: And we don't have that mentality in our minds anymore because,
28:04
Speaker 2: you know, the medical care that we've got and the
28:06
Speaker 2: preventative care that we've got, and so when we do
28:09
Speaker 2: encounter that moment when a child dies, we don't know
28:13
Speaker 2: how to deal with it. But boy, if we would,
28:16
Speaker 2: if we would develop the prerequisites for that, the resilience
28:20
Speaker 2: that we need to have, that we we can work
28:24
Speaker 2: through anything that comes. Because this is all temporary.
28:29
Speaker 1: As we kind of wind down here, I'm just realizing
28:32
Speaker 1: a couple of things. One is that I'd love to
28:34
Speaker 1: have you back at a later day a lot to
28:37
Speaker 1: talk about. But present day psychotherapy I've read about you
28:47
Speaker 1: have some ideas about that, and with the understanding that therapy,
28:54
Speaker 1: there are a lot of different types of therapy, a
28:55
Speaker 1: lot of different types of psychotherapy. It's different for different people.
29:00
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts, What's what is it not seeing?
29:05
Speaker 1: What is it getting? What does it need to get? Right?
29:11
Speaker 2: Oh boy, Well we'll address that on our second interview. Okay, no, no, no,
29:16
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. I think the most important thing that
29:20
Speaker 2: that psychotherapy needs to do, and it certainly has its place.
29:23
Speaker 2: Please don't misunderstand me about that. But a lot of
29:27
Speaker 2: these difficulties that people have are not really psychological in nature,
29:33
Speaker 2: but a lot of them are emotional again because the
29:36
Speaker 2: brain doesn't know how to process it. So if we
29:39
Speaker 2: can teach the brain how to process the amygdala, how
29:42
Speaker 2: to you know, pre store and pre program our responses
29:46
Speaker 2: if we're ever confronted with these moments, then we can
29:49
Speaker 2: confront them and they don't create the huge emotional despondency
29:57
Speaker 2: that we sometimes see. But you know, when when psychotherapists
30:03
Speaker 2: are dealing with people who have got you know, the
30:06
Speaker 2: the traumatic injuries and certainly the PTSD, you know, they
30:11
Speaker 2: they are doing incredible jobs with that. But for the
30:16
Speaker 2: most part, my experience has been that that if we
30:19
Speaker 2: can deal with people on an emotional level first and
30:22
Speaker 2: try to help them diffuse the crisis, you know, lower
30:27
Speaker 2: the emotional temperature, then then we're able to see some
30:32
Speaker 2: some clearer thinking begin to to bubble forth forth then
30:36
Speaker 2: and that force again be able to travel through so
30:40
Speaker 2: so people can get on with their lives.
30:44
Speaker 1: All right, we'll get into this morning next time, Okay, Howard,
30:47
Speaker 1: All right, as we wind out here, what's the best
30:49
Speaker 1: way for people to learn more about you and what
30:51
Speaker 1: you're doing?
30:52
Speaker 2: Right on our website www dot we claimed, dash Living
30:57
Speaker 2: dot org. Uh, there's ways to contact me to make appointments,
31:01
Speaker 2: to see what we're all about. And I love to
31:04
Speaker 2: talk with anybody who wants to.
31:06
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll have that linked ap here of the the
31:08
Speaker 1: show notes page as a Trauma Therapist podcast dot com. Howard,
31:12
Speaker 1: love it, Love the work you're doing, superspiring. Appreciate being here.
31:16
Speaker 2: Thank you very much, thinking of a lesson to be here. Okay,
31:19
Speaker 2: thank you,