Latest / ADHD Strategies & Support for Women / ADHD Medication: How It Helps and When It Won't | Ep 150

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ADHD Medication: How It Helps and When It Won't | Ep 150 · ADHD Strategies & Support for Women

• 0:28
  Hello, welcome to Inspiring Women with ADHD.
• 0:30
  I'm Renee Allen, the host of this podcast.
• 0:33
  Excited to be here.
• 0:34
  I skipped last week.
• 0:36
  My apologies for not recording an episode.
• 0:39
  I was home, but I was in between.
• 0:42
  Well, I was after two trips that were back to back, and I had a bridal shower for my daughter on Saturday at our house.
• 0:50
  Someone else was hosting that.
• 0:51
  It was here, and I shouldn't have volunteered to do that.
• 0:55
  I mean, I loved having it here, but.
• 0:57
  And then you're thinking about all the cleaning all week.
• 0:59
  Even though I didn't do the cleaning all week, I thought about it and clean and got things ready as much as I could.
• 1:06
  It was wonderful.
• 1:07
  It was great.
• 1:07
  And now my brain can shift to thinking about recording on the podcast again.
• 1:12
  In fact, one of my listeners is a friend who comes to my yoga classes, and she came to the bridal shower and I said, do you want to see where I teach yoga from home?
• 1:21
  And was going to show her because she does yoga with me.
• 1:23
  And she said, I want to see where you.
• 1:25
  Where you record your podcast.
• 1:27
  And of all the times that I've had people over for a favorite things party or hosting a baby shower or something, I always have this room.
• 1:35
  I call it my yoga room, but it's a library, really.
• 1:38
  I always have it really clean because it's near the entry.
• 1:41
  But for this party, I was going around rearranging furniture, doing all this stuff, and whenever I'd have things that went in here, I just throw them in instead of putting them away because I moved the spin bike in
• 1:54
  here to get out of the living room.
• 1:56
  Had to pull up the rug to do that.
• 1:58
  And then I didn't want to trip over the rug because I've, you know, broken toes and things before.
• 2:03
  Anyway, so when I showed her, this was about the messiest it could be, but this part wasn't.
• 2:07
  This looked the same if she could use her imagination.
• 2:09
  So hopefully she's wiped her brain clean of all the mess.
• 2:12
  If that stuck, stuck with her, whatever that is.
• 2:18
  Anyway, if you.
• 2:19
  If I were to turn my camera around right now, I mean, you'd see the spin bike covered with blankets, but other than that, it looks pretty clean.
• 2:27
  All that disclaimer that we're having a thunderstorm right now.
• 2:30
  Other disclaimer, it's not really disclaimer.
• 2:32
  It's just sharing what's happening.
• 2:33
  And so I get to look out the windows and see the rain.
• 2:36
  Hopefully the power stays on because I'm recording.
• 2:38
  I need my WI Fi, but it's beautiful.
• 2:41
  I don't think it'll pick up the sound of the thunder, but it's one of my favorite things about living in Florida is hearing the thunder crash and clash and lightning strikes and all that.
• 2:50
  It's kind of fun.
• 2:51
  So today's podcast, it's actually episode 150.
• 2:55
  Yay.
• 2:56
  Yay.
• 2:56
  I looked through all my episodes and I actually skipped one.
• 3:00
  Okay, yeah.
• 3:02
  So really, this should be 149.
• 3:05
  Okay.
• 3:06
  Should I even admit to that?
• 3:08
  I decided to try to do what they say, where they say to produce things in batches.
• 3:14
  So instead of going and, you know, every time I make a podcast, making the podcast, making the little thumbnail for YouTube, writing a description, all of that, instead write a whole bunch of titles and descriptions, you know, like
• 3:29
  10 in a row, plan them all out.
• 3:30
  I mean, people do it for the whole year.
• 3:33
  They plan it out.
• 3:34
  I can't do that because I end up changing my mind.
• 3:36
  And then I think, but I don't want to do that.
• 3:38
  So it doesn't work very well.
• 3:40
  You know, I need to be more in the moment.
• 3:42
  But this one day I thought, okay, I'm going to do this.
• 3:45
  I already know what the next episode's going to be.
• 3:47
  I decided on the title.
• 3:48
  I decided on this description.
• 3:50
  I had my notes and then I put it in.
• 3:54
  Back then I was using Libsyn to publish my podcasts.
• 3:58
  So I put it in Libsyn as a draft and had the number of the podcast on it, but I forgot about it.
• 4:05
  So when it was time to do the next one, I just went to the next number and just came up with new notes, new description and stuff.
• 4:13
  Oh, the forgetful part of adhd.
• 4:15
  So technically there's one that I need to go back and record.
• 4:19
  And all that being said, if you're still with me, if you're not my youngest daughter who says, mom, you've already lost me if you're still with me.
• 4:27
  So I said, I skipped one and I'm at 150.
• 4:30
  But technically the introductory episode wasn't numbered.
• 4:34
  So I do have 150, but then I have one up to 149 minus that one.
• 4:40
  That is still a draft.
• 4:43
  And then today's is 150.
• 4:45
  It's episode 150.
• 4:46
  It's actually my 1 50th episode that I've recorded.
• 4:50
  But once I get that other one caught up, maybe I'll do it today so I don't forget once I do that.
• 4:57
  If you count the introductory episode, I'm still saying this is the 150th one that I recorded.
• 5:03
  And I'm excited about that because there are a lot of goals that I've made that I haven't stuck with, that I haven't even brought to fruition, if that is something that you're saying.
• 5:15
  Yeah, I do that, too.
• 5:17
  That is super common with adhd because we have great ideas.
• 5:21
  I don't know if we always have the greatest imagination, but we do have a lot of ideas and a lot of dreams and a lot of plans and a lot of gifts that we could use to help those
• 5:35
  dreams come true.
• 5:36
  The problem is the executive function in between idea dream to it happening.
• 5:42
  The executive dysfunction is actually a dysfunction.
• 5:47
  So it gets in the way of being able to start something and be consistent with it.
• 5:53
  So I'm celebrating right now that as much as I haven't done it exactly like I said I would, I was going to do two episodes a week.
• 6:01
  I was going to always be consistent.
• 6:04
  My consistency is that I'm still here.
• 6:07
  I'm still here, and we'll just keep seeing how it goes.
• 6:11
  If I get into a groove of, yeah, it will be two episodes a week or one episode a week.
• 6:15
  But eventually I.
• 6:18
  Well, hopefully I find a groove.
• 6:20
  If not, you understand, because sometimes it's one way and sometimes it's another.
• 6:24
  Hopefully you understand.
• 6:25
  If you don't, you'll find another podcast to listen to.
• 6:27
  And that's okay.
• 6:28
  I'm here for those who get it can relate, and hopefully I can help in some way.
• 6:34
  So today I'm going to talk about medication and what it can help you with and what it can't help you with.
• 6:41
  And I'm talking about ADHD medication.
• 6:44
  What I want to make clear with my podcast, and I don't really think it's something that I could say is like a little welcome.
• 6:53
  And this is what my podcast is about, because I can never do that in a few sentences that I could tell you in these first few minutes, hopefully.
• 7:03
  But I don't think there's one fix for adhd.
• 7:08
  I don't think there's something that's gonna cure you.
• 7:12
  If you're looking for a cure or one thing that you're gonna do that's magically gonna make everything better.
• 7:21
  If you have ADHD and your symptoms are mild, then maybe you have one area of symptoms that are getting in the way of your life or getting in the way of your work or getting in the way of
• 7:32
  your relationship.
• 7:34
  And if that's the case, then maybe you can be helped with some ADHD coaching or with an accountability partner.
• 7:45
  Maybe it's really in the fitness arena that you just can't get yourself to exercise, or it's the emotional dysregulation and you go to a therapist and the therapist helps you with that.
• 7:55
  Or you go to a yoga class and you learn more about calming the nervous system and noticing what's happening in your mind and your body, and you develop skills through a new practice or with the help of somebody
• 8:09
  or a group coaching situation, a course that you're taking, whatever that is, that helps you with it, that is a tool that can help you with that aspect of adhd and that can greatly change your life.
• 8:22
  And that's the hope with this podcast, is that you find things that can greatly change your life in different areas may not happen in all the areas.
• 8:32
  It might not happen all the time.
• 8:35
  When our lives shift, when circumstances change, when things happen that affect our nervous system, that can cause a shift that makes it so that you can't handle things as well for sure.
• 8:47
  It can knock you off your foundation, as they say.
• 8:52
  And also even just hormonal shifts.
• 8:55
  If you're a teenager and you have your period still, I know you can go many years after that.
• 9:01
  I don't have my anymore.
• 9:02
  But you can have hormonal shifts with that.
• 9:05
  You can have the PMS or the perimenopause, which I don't even know when that happened for me, honestly.
• 9:13
  I mean, maybe people can pinpoint it.
• 9:16
  I never really thought about it because I think.
• 9:18
  I usually think I'm too young for something, and then I think I'm too old for something.
• 9:22
  It probably already happened then I wonder when it happened.
• 9:25
  But I do know, mostly for me, when my weight changed with the same habits.
• 9:30
  And that could have been perimenopause.
• 9:32
  I noticed menopause because I was getting hot flashes.
• 9:36
  Not a lot, but a handful here or there.
• 9:39
  And I thought, I don't like this.
• 9:40
  So I made some changes with a supplement that I took.
• 9:44
  Can I even remember what it's called?
• 9:45
  Black Cohosh.
• 9:46
  Bought it on Amazon, read reviews, got the best one.
• 9:49
  It made all the difference in the world.
• 9:51
  That was the only menopausal symptom that I noticed, and I was able to get rid of it pretty quickly and for good and didn't have to keep taking the black cohosh.
• 10:01
  Maybe it doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for enough people that I learned about it and took it.
• 10:05
  And it worked for me.
• 10:07
  What I didn't know is my inability to start doing Things, My scatteredness, my inability to sit and read a book and follow what I was reading and if it was a novel, go back to it the next day
• 10:22
  and remember where I.
• 10:23
  Not only where I was, I could have a bookmark, but I wouldn't remember the setup.
• 10:27
  I'd have to read the first few chapters again to kind of build the scene.
• 10:31
  And I thought, my goodness, I was an English major.
• 10:34
  I know how to read.
• 10:35
  I know how to digest information.
• 10:38
  But I couldn't anymore, you know, what was that?
• 10:40
  I think it was part of my menopause.
• 10:41
  I think my menopause for me was causing my.
• 10:46
  Some of my ADHD symptoms that I'd managed to manage or coast by with in some way, still have success with.
• 10:56
  They were no longer accessible.
• 10:59
  So the only time I've really been able to sit and read was during our last hurricane because the power was out and I got so bored, I thought, I can't do this, I can't do that.
• 11:10
  Got all the grandchildren, I'd have read books with them.
• 11:11
  And I thought, I'm actually going to read a book.
• 11:13
  And I was able to sit and do it.
• 11:15
  So that says something too, right?
• 11:16
  All the distractions and, I mean, we were going on probably 16 hours without power at that point, so my whole being had probably changed in some way.
• 11:27
  I'm laughing because how spoiled we are in our society that, you know, going 16 hours without power can change my being.
• 11:36
  But it just shows you at how many years of having power and Internet has changed my being too.
• 11:40
  So there can be a lot of factors that we may or may not be able to guess or identify.
• 11:46
  But the point is, one thing could help.
• 11:51
  One thing, one method, one tool, one medication, one person in your life that's helping you or a group of people.
• 12:01
  But it may not help with everything, but it might help with a few things.
• 12:04
  And so, yeah, that was way more than a few minutes at the beginning of my podcast.
• 12:09
  But what I want to help make clear is that I definitely believe in you.
• 12:16
  I believe in your ability to make changes in your life.
• 12:19
  I also don't want you to feel frustrated if you make some changes or you find some tools or you get on medication and it's helping with something.
• 12:28
  But you think it's not helping me as much as it's helping that woman.
• 12:32
  And it may not.
• 12:33
  We're all different.
• 12:33
  And she may still be struggling with five other things that you don't know about.
• 12:38
  But there are so many parts of your life that are affected by adhd and there are A lot of ways to manage them or help them.
• 12:48
  Some work, some don't.
• 12:50
  Some work for a while, some work for a long time.
• 12:54
  But I don't see one as being the cure all.
• 12:59
  And cure isn't even a really good idea because this isn't a disease.
• 13:04
  This is the way your brain was developed.
• 13:07
  Neurodevelopmental disorder.
• 13:09
  It's the way your brain was developed when you were born.
• 13:13
  So it's figuring out what do I need to do in my life that's different than somebody else whose brain functions properly or in a typical way.
• 13:25
  Right.
• 13:25
  The neurotypical and I'm the neurodiverse or the neuro spicy or the neuro fabulous, whatever you want to call it, maybe I'm going to do that.
• 13:35
  I haven't seen that anywhere, but I kind of like that.
• 13:37
  Neuro fabulous.
• 13:37
  Doesn't that sound pretty?
• 13:39
  Part of my adhd, not part of my adhd, part of my English majoring is loving the way words sound.
• 13:47
  Look, my husband's more about the appearance.
• 13:49
  He's an artist and I could turn my camera and show you some of the art on the wall but that he's made for us.
• 13:57
  But yeah, mine is the way words sound and they're delivered.
• 14:03
  I just watched Hamnet yesterday for the first time and my goodness, I mean, it's not like I'm a big Shakespeare fan.
• 14:10
  I did have to read Shakespeare when I majored in English and stuff.
• 14:14
  I haven't gone to Shakespeare festivals.
• 14:16
  I haven't made an effort into going to Shakespearean plays.
• 14:21
  But I do love Hamlet with Mel Gibson.
• 14:24
  I have watched the ones that are on movies and Jane Austen and everything.
• 14:29
  I love the pictures that the words make in my mind, the profound thoughts and emotions that they bring.
• 14:40
  And maybe for me it's on a very reduced level compared to somebody else who has a vast capacity for that.
• 14:49
  But even just the way they sound, it's like eating really delicious food for me.
• 14:53
  So watching Hamnet and hearing them say things and oh my gosh, yeah, I loved it.
• 14:59
  I loved it.
• 14:59
  Okay.
• 15:00
  And that just very little had Shakespearean words but.
• 15:03
  Or quotes, but I did love it.
• 15:05
  Okay, back to the topic at hand.
• 15:07
  It's about medication, but I wanted to give you all of that to say this isn't an episode to say take this medication and it's going to help you.
• 15:15
  And if you take that, it's going to help you manage all your ADHD symptoms.
• 15:19
  There may be a few people in the world that that's true for.
• 15:23
  I don't know that I've ever met someone or read someone's experience on all the forums and things.
• 15:30
  I've never seen any evidence of that.
• 15:32
  But I have heard people say I'm on medication and wow, I wish I'd been on this many years before.
• 15:39
  Or is this what it feels like to be neurotypical?
• 15:42
  Because there are a lot of changes that can happen with medication.
• 15:46
  There are also a lot of side effects.
• 15:48
  And what medication works for one person may not have the same effect on other person.
• 15:54
  For example, with stimulants, one person may be on 10 milligrams a day of Ritalin or Adderall.
• 16:03
  They might have 10 milligrams once a day or twice a day or 15 milligrams.
• 16:07
  Somebody else might be 60 and have a similar amount of help with that.
• 16:14
  Somebody else may need that much twice a day.
• 16:18
  So there's different.
• 16:19
  I don't, I don't know.
• 16:20
  I haven't, I haven't delved into the higher doses because I haven't needed higher doses.
• 16:24
  But I have seen women online talking about, oh, I.
• 16:28
  My doctor brought me at this point and then brought me up and brought me up until I was helped with me.
• 16:34
  I had side effects right away that and benefits.
• 16:38
  And the side effects were in the first half hour or something.
• 16:43
  I wouldn't say super heart rate increased.
• 16:45
  Just feeling really lightheaded, like I needed to sit down.
• 16:48
  Not nauseated, but lightheaded and just woo, my world's spinning around and that would settle down.
• 16:54
  So we had to keep lowering the dose.
• 16:55
  So that didn't happen.
• 16:57
  But then when we lowered it too much, I wasn't getting any benefits.
• 17:01
  So we raised it a little bit after I was on the lower dose and I was able to do it.
• 17:05
  Then we raised it again back to where we first were.
• 17:07
  Nope, nope, it was, it was too much.
• 17:10
  But now we spaced it out three times a day with that mid dose.
• 17:14
  And I'm able to do it because I'm not getting the punch of it the whole time.
• 17:19
  And there are extended release.
• 17:22
  Honestly, extended release is probably nicer if you can get that to work.
• 17:25
  I tried one extended release.
• 17:26
  It didn't work for me because it ended too soon in my day.
• 17:31
  But if you're able to do that, you only have to remember to take it once, which is nice.
• 17:35
  I have to remember to take it three times.
• 17:37
  So anyway, medication is able to help a lot of things.
• 17:42
  Not for everybody.
• 17:43
  And stimulants don't work for everybody.
• 17:46
  Some people get symptoms like anger or depression or loss of interest in things that's not depression, but just, you know, like things don't sound exciting, but it's not like to the degree of being depressed.
• 18:02
  So there's a variety of symptoms.
• 18:03
  And there's also things like one medication I tried made my blood pressure go high and I didn't like that.
• 18:09
  And actually losing interest.
• 18:11
  Nothing sounded fun to do or tasted good or anything like that.
• 18:16
  But not going into all of that because it can be different for everyone.
• 18:21
  So things that medication is most likely to help.
• 18:25
  According to websites like Chad, which is the center for something in add.
• 18:30
  Even though ADD is not an diagnosis anymore, but they still, people still say it.
• 18:38
  What does chad mean?
• 18:40
  I have to say it because I'm, you know, I should be responsible here.
• 18:44
  Let's see.
• 18:45
  Chad, Chad, Chad.
• 18:46
  Yeah, about Chad doesn't even tell us what it's.
• 18:49
  What it means or what the name is.
• 18:51
  Okay.
• 18:52
  Children and adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, but they left it as add instead of the ADHD Chad with two Ds.
• 19:05
  So they did tell us at the end.
• 19:07
  It's at the very bottom of their page.
• 19:10
  And I don't have a lot of patience for scrolling down on pages.
• 19:14
  Yeah, one of my things.
• 19:16
  Okay.
• 19:17
  So according to them and a few other experts, what ADHD medication is most likely to help.
• 19:25
  Not a cure all, not I can take it and everything will be better.
• 19:28
  It's most likely to help you stay focused on one task.
• 19:35
  It's most likely to help you not be pulled away by every thing, every little distraction.
• 19:42
  You're less likely to be pulled away by distractions.
• 19:46
  And for me, honestly, I do get more hyper focused.
• 19:50
  So it's getting into that.
• 19:51
  No, I don't need to do anything else.
• 19:53
  That can be good and that can be bad.
• 19:55
  Because if you want to work on something for a little bit of time, like I want to come in here and do this podcast and then I spend two hours working on sound.
• 20:03
  Like maybe I should do this to make the sound sound better.
• 20:05
  No one else will be able to tell the difference.
• 20:07
  But I, you know, I focused on the wrong thing.
• 20:09
  Right.
• 20:09
  So I don't know that it actually helps you prioritize.
• 20:13
  And, and you may be your own distraction by getting into one groove and not wanting to get out, but it can help with impulsivity.
• 20:22
  I haven't found medication, honestly, that helps with that.
• 20:25
  But I, you know, haven't tried them all.
• 20:27
  But impulsivity, Impulsivity is one of my challenges.
• 20:32
  But for some, this must be helping.
• 20:34
  And I think for children when you think of a child with ADHD that's on medication, they are toned down a lot more than adults are that I've seen.
• 20:44
  This is just me talking.
• 20:45
  This isn't me reading a lot of studies.
• 20:48
  Hyperactivity, restlessness, it can help with internal and physical restlessness for some.
• 20:57
  It can help you get started with a task.
• 21:02
  So that's that.
• 21:03
  I need more dopamine to meet the needs of my brain so that I can start doing something that I want to do.
• 21:11
  And medication, especially stimulants, can help with that.
• 21:17
  It's giving you that dopamine boost.
• 21:19
  And I'm going to see if my voice isolation folk lets me drink my water without.
• 21:24
  I guess I could pause, but I'm not going to.
• 21:26
  I'm going to drink real fast because I see other podcasts hosts do it, and I think, why are you so afraid to do that?
• 21:34
  Okay, task initiation.
• 21:37
  I already said that.
• 21:38
  Mental clarity.
• 21:39
  If you have brain fog as part of your adhd, it might quiet that.
• 21:47
  Well, that's two things.
• 21:49
  It might quiet the mind of too many ideas, and it might help clear your mind when you need it to, and might help you work things through things that are repetitive, boring, and you just have less resistance mentally.
• 22:04
  And it may be.
• 22:06
  May help you be able to focus better in conversations or listening to something, too.
• 22:12
  Because sometimes that's hard.
• 22:13
  Not only listening to a teacher, a professor, or even my podcast.
• 22:18
  Just keeping your brain present, but also in conversations.
• 22:23
  It's really easy for your brain to get off in another direction and then also can help you complete tasks, not just work on something and then leave it and go work on something else.
• 22:35
  I don't know if you've done that, but I do that sometimes where I start a task and then I go to put something away, and then I think that area is actually kind of cluttery.
• 22:43
  And I spend, you know, an hour organizing shopping bags or something and go back and think, oh, yeah, I was working on this.
• 22:51
  And, you know, you keep switching tasks.
• 22:54
  So medication can help you stay in one spot without switching constantly.
• 23:01
  So medication can also help, maybe not as successfully, but it can help with working memory.
• 23:10
  So working memory is where you're taking some information.
• 23:13
  It has to get put into.
• 23:16
  Go from information into action.
• 23:18
  Whether that's like you hear something and you write it down, you hear something, you say, or you look at a credit card and you say the number out loud.
• 23:25
  You're taking that information that you see and you're putting it in your brain long enough to do something with it or someone on the phone tells you this is when your appointment is.
• 23:33
  You hear the number, the date, and you write it on the calendar.
• 23:37
  That's your working memory turning it into a task.
• 23:39
  Your working memory can also take something and turn it into a memory store, like where it's not just.
• 23:47
  You're not just hearing it, but you're actually putting it somewhere.
• 23:50
  And a great example is when someone tells you their name.
• 23:52
  A lot of times you know that you asked for their name, but you never took it in.
• 23:56
  You just didn't take it in and you just kept talking.
• 23:58
  And then later you say, I'm sorry, what was your name?
• 24:00
  And they tell you again and there's a really good chance you won't take it in again.
• 24:04
  And it really helps if you say their name like, oh, Renee.
• 24:08
  I had a friend named Renee when I was little.
• 24:11
  I didn't really like her.
• 24:12
  Ha ha ha ha.
• 24:13
  But I like you.
• 24:14
  You know, like whatever you do to make a little game with it.
• 24:18
  And sometimes it helps or even if you can take a name with a location, you know, like, where did you grow up?
• 24:26
  And then you build a story to be easier.
• 24:29
  And for me, it really helps to see their name on Facebook or on social media or something is in teaching yoga.
• 24:37
  If I can remember someone's name and get their last name or know who they're friends with and I can find them on Facebook or Instagram.
• 24:44
  But really people my age, I find them more on Facebook.
• 24:47
  I can remember them better because I've seen the visual.
• 24:50
  And asking someone how to spell their name, seeing it written might help you more than just hearing it.
• 24:55
  So yeah, working memory is a tough one.
• 24:58
  And medication can help.
• 24:59
  It might not be consistent with helping.
• 25:02
  Medication can also help emotional regulation.
• 25:08
  But usually ADHD medication isn't necessarily going to treat that as much as some other medications might.
• 25:16
  So it depends on what you struggle with emotionally.
• 25:23
  Time blindness.
• 25:27
  It can help.
• 25:29
  It can help.
• 25:29
  But you may still struggle with it.
• 25:31
  That may, you know, that may take a lot of methods and skills and a lot of reminders and a lot of visible things and audible things and setting up notes and post its and I know that's a note
• 25:43
  but alarms all of that for time awareness, people in the room saying, hey, don't you know it's time to go?
• 25:50
  That kind of thing.
• 25:52
  That's a hard one.
• 25:53
  Organization.
• 25:56
  Yeah, you may be in a state when you're taking medication to be able to organize better, being able to keep it up with it.
• 26:02
  Habits are hard to break.
• 26:04
  So noticing when you might be falling into a similar habit.
• 26:07
  Like if you want to always hang something back up when you're done wearing it and you're walking by and you think it's just so much easier just to drop it on that chair in the closet or whatever it
• 26:15
  is.
• 26:16
  And then all of a sudden you know it's going to turn into a pile and you know you're not going to be able to find it.
• 26:20
  And so sometimes you just gotta break the old skill, have some awareness, tell yourself it's only gonna take five seconds and do it.
• 26:31
  Even though it might interfere with the time management part.
• 26:34
  Because that is something.
• 26:36
  When I'm leaving, I like to like, oh, I wanna put these five things away.
• 26:39
  And sometimes you can't.
• 26:41
  Decision making.
• 26:46
  Yeah, it's hard to make decisions.
• 26:48
  That is part of executive dysfunction.
• 26:53
  Medication may or may not help because there's a lot involved with decisions.
• 26:56
  You know, it can, I mean there's life decisions.
• 27:01
  Sometimes it's simple like what time should I work out versus or what time should we go to lunch versus should I, you know, go talk to that person or not when they've been rude to me all the time.
• 27:15
  You know, those are harder decisions.
• 27:17
  Maybe they're simple.
• 27:18
  Depends on who that person is, right?
• 27:20
  Motivation.
• 27:21
  So motivation you may need to do some kind of reward system or accountability still when you're on medication.
• 27:32
  But your ability to start something might be better.
• 27:37
  They can be slightly different.
• 27:38
  The motivation to do something where.
• 27:41
  Versus actually acting on it.
• 27:43
  And I'm a firm believer that when you have somebody that you are doing something with, it's so much easier to convince yourself that you're going to do it.
• 27:52
  Symptoms that medication, I guess it could help, but it's, it's something, it's more of an executive function skill that you have to master or fine tune.
• 28:10
  And even for people who don't, don't have these difficulties, they probably had to learn how to plan things.
• 28:16
  When you go to school, you're learning how to organize your notebook or your folder or clean up your desk or, you know, they're teaching your thing self things like that.
• 28:26
  And when you're growing up, hopefully you're learning to organize a space and stuff.
• 28:29
  But people who haven't learned any of this, that can be a bigger problem.
• 28:33
  And then if you have a hard time managing, you know, just life and being too busy and, and dealing with the decisions like what do I get rid of?
• 28:43
  Should I wash this?
• 28:44
  Should I not?
• 28:44
  What should I do with this mail?
• 28:45
  You know, those are a lot of decisions and even planning things out when you have more to do than you want to do or have time to do, that can be hard.
• 28:59
  So these are learned skills that a life coach or reading a book or a course or a person working with you could help.
• 29:08
  It could be even a friend or someone in your home, help you plan something out or bounce an idea off of somebody.
• 29:13
  You know, what do you think of this?
• 29:15
  Should we do that?
• 29:15
  You know, I do a lot of that with my friends.
• 29:18
  You know, thank you for letting me think this through with you.
• 29:22
  Because sometimes you just need to say it out loud to process the.
• 29:28
  Even the feelings that go with it to figure out what to do, and even, you know, prioritizing, figuring out how to do something, breaking it into smaller steps.
• 29:37
  Those are all skills.
• 29:39
  Organizing a space, planning out your week.
• 29:43
  For some people, like I mentioned, even with, you know, my 150th episode, some people plan out their episodes for the whole year they plan out.
• 29:51
  I tried this the first year, I think, or second year of each month was going to have a theme, and I did okay with it for a few months, not the whole year.
• 30:00
  I admire people who do that and I think it's fun that they do that.
• 30:04
  And it seems like it would be easier.
• 30:06
  But if you find yourself bolting and resisting a plan, if you plan too far ahead, feel kind of trapped by it, then maybe that's not your method.
• 30:17
  Maybe your plan is a week in advance or a month in advance with the freedom to change.
• 30:22
  My mom was saying this morning that she has a big whiteboard which I put up on the wall with some command strip Velcro things.
• 30:32
  I just have to say that because it was on the floor and I thought, wait, this needs to be on the wall.
• 30:35
  When I was there helping.
• 30:36
  But anyway, she was saying that she keeps adding things to her to do list on her whiteboard, but her list keeps getting longer and she's not crossing them off as soon.
• 30:47
  So it's starting to get overwhelming.
• 30:48
  And.
• 30:49
  And she said, I wish that I could just take some things off the list and it would be okay not to do them.
• 30:55
  And I haven't.
• 30:56
  This is on Marco Polo.
• 30:57
  We were messaging back and forth and I want to a hundred percent tell her, yes, take anything off your list that you want.
• 31:04
  Like, you are the, you are the boss of your life right now.
• 31:08
  You know, you are the creator of how your life goes.
• 31:11
  And if you are overwhelmed by that or you want to ask somebody else to do it for you, or you want to just say that doesn't matter anymore.
• 31:17
  You can do that when you realize it's my list.
• 31:20
  I can.
• 31:22
  If I find the list to be daunting, I don't have to tap too many things on it.
• 31:25
  And that's why I stopped having a to do list.
• 31:28
  Really.
• 31:28
  I mean, every once in a while I'll have one if there's a lot coming up.
• 31:32
  And I just keep forgetting things.
• 31:35
  But really, a post it note with one or two things on it is good.
• 31:38
  And then maybe I can look at my calendar, that bigger list later and see what was on it because I just feel overwhelmed by a big to do list.
• 31:48
  And so one method will be fabulous for one person and another person will be horrible.
• 31:54
  But whatever, systems, calendars, managing your life, all of those are methods, skills, eventually, patterns, schedules, all that.
• 32:05
  The way that you organize your life, whether it's planned out very far in advance or not.
• 32:10
  That's why I like patterns, is because it's like more morning, new night, or when I get home or before I leave.
• 32:18
  That's more of a pattern that doesn't have a tight time restraint, that doesn't feel like, ah, do I have to do that?
• 32:26
  You know, what if I don't do that?
• 32:27
  And there's obviously things in our lives that we have to do that we have to be there at a certain time for an appointment, for a wedding, for whatever it is, there are those things getting our kids to
• 32:38
  school or for me, my grandchildren, and yeah, we have to figure out how to, how to make that work for sure.
• 32:48
  I'm gonna have my grandchildren for two whole school weeks in September.
• 32:56
  And yeah, that is something I need to record episodes before.
• 32:59
  I mean, I guess I could do it while they're at school, but I'm gonna still have the baby here, so maybe he takes a nap still by then.
• 33:04
  But I, um.
• 33:05
  But yeah, I need to, I need to figure out how to get them to school on time because I've only done it maybe twice out of all the times I've taken to school.
• 33:13
  And I know it's, it's not gonna be, it's not fair to them and.
• 33:18
  But a lot of it, I really couldn't get the date, the date and time.
• 33:22
  Well, I had the date right.
• 33:23
  I didn't have the time right in my mind.
• 33:25
  And the last time I did, I wrote it, I probably told you this, that I put it on a Sharpie on the fridge, the pickup time and the drop off time for the elementary school.
• 33:34
  And I get him to the school and granted, I was Pulling in the driveway right at the drop off time that I thought, I have this like seared into my brain.
• 33:42
  And there are no other cars around except for in the parking lot.
• 33:46
  So school's not canceled.
• 33:47
  There are people here, but no children outside, no cars.
• 33:51
  And I finally get up there and there's one car that was ahead of me that I didn't see.
• 33:55
  And I thought, okay.
• 33:57
  And then, and then the kids said, we're tardy.
• 34:00
  And I went, oh gosh.
• 34:01
  I really thought I got it right this time because it really, it was a minute or two after that by the time I got to the curb.
• 34:07
  But in my brain I had flipped the afternoon pickup time with the morning drop off time.
• 34:15
  Even though I had the hour right in the morning, of course, I could figure out that was going to be in the 7 o' clock range, not the 2 o' clock range, but the minutes I had wrong, I
• 34:25
  flipped them.
• 34:26
  It wasn't until I got home and looked down the fridge and it wasn't until my daughter actually spelled it out to me like, mom, do you see what time that is?
• 34:31
  And I went, oh.
• 34:32
  I thought, how could I get it that wrong?
• 34:34
  And then I looked at the pickup time like, oh, okay.
• 34:37
  So I was actually 10 minutes late, but okay, let's go on.
• 34:44
  Yeah.
• 34:44
  And there's a lot that comes with ADHD that because of what we go through, we have patterns, self talk, things that we tell ourselves, ways that we feel which come from what's happening, from the executive dysfunction or the
• 35:08
  symptoms that we have.
• 35:10
  That isn't going to be helped with medication either.
• 35:13
  Like feeling bad about yourself and feeling shame for being late again.
• 35:19
  Like that's why I'm so.
• 35:20
  I mean, actually I laugh a lot about the school.
• 35:21
  Like I can't believe that I was late getting there same time.
• 35:23
  I have to be responsible, right?
• 35:25
  So I'm not feeling like I'm a horrible person because I flipped the time in my mind.
• 35:30
  But I'm realizing that whatever tool I had, the alarm on my clock and the post it note on the fridge with a Sharpie, getting the kids up early, having their breakfast out, all that still didn't stop it.
• 35:43
  And, and I chalk it up to you still tried, it didn't work out and now you need a different method.
• 35:50
  And next school year when I have the kids for two weeks, I'm probably going to have my husband and my daughter double check the time and I'm going to have it up in a couple places.
• 36:01
  And actually I told my son that if I watch him.
• 36:04
  This time I'm not watching him at our house because our house is like, it's like 15, 20 minutes from the school.
• 36:09
  And then morning traffic, it's a half hour.
• 36:12
  They live five minutes from the school.
• 36:13
  And you can even drive to a back little bridge where they can walk across the bridge.
• 36:17
  I don't have to go into the.
• 36:19
  The loop with all the other cars, so it's going to be easier.
• 36:23
  Yeah.
• 36:23
  See, that's another method I developed on my own.
• 36:26
  I'm advocating for myself, but, yeah, fear of failure.
• 36:31
  If you have failed at something before, it can be scary doing something.
• 36:37
  And medication doesn't help with that.
• 36:39
  People pleasing, perfectionism, feeling guilty, frustration, all of that.
• 36:48
  And maybe for some people it does, but I don't think medication helps you not be as talkative and not want to talk as much.
• 37:02
  Maybe it does for some people.
• 37:03
  I mean, I've seen with children, and this is actually what I told my psychiatrist when he first put me on Ritalin.
• 37:09
  I said, I'm afraid it's gonna deaden my personality, and I don't want that.
• 37:12
  It's like, hopefully the best thing I have going for me is my personality.
• 37:16
  Maybe it's not everybody's cup of tea, but, you know, I don't want that gone.
• 37:19
  And he said, it seems to mute children's expressiveness more than adults.
• 37:26
  And I thought, really, like, I didn't really believe him, but I.
• 37:29
  But I believed him.
• 37:32
  So when I go teach yoga, usually I am very mindful of what I say, and I have impulses to tell a story or add something or say something that adds more personality than just teaching a class.
• 37:53
  And then I do it, but I weigh it out.
• 37:56
  I think, should I do this?
• 37:57
  Should I not?
• 37:57
  Should I do this?
• 37:58
  And I have a lot of control with it because I've taught yoga for so long, and maybe I'm just in this very nervous system regulated space where I'm kind of thinking, and maybe sometimes the word hand comes out
• 38:10
  instead of foot or something, but.
• 38:12
  But for the most part, I know what word's going to come out of my mouth.
• 38:15
  Much more so than on the podcast, actually.
• 38:17
  And, and, and I know that it's not always the time to share things.
• 38:23
  And I know that I can be quiet and let them have it be quiet, and they can sit.
• 38:27
  Sit there and breathe and just have their own time with their own thoughts or to notice their thoughts and let go of their thoughts or just enjoy the quiet or whatever.
• 38:36
  And then there's other times that I do something and it Adds to the class.
• 38:39
  And I've had good feedback with that.
• 38:42
  Like, I like that you give your add, your personality and stuff, but I also give them space.
• 38:46
  There's a balance.
• 38:47
  I found that when I take my ADHD medication right before a class, I want to be way more chatty.
• 38:52
  And maybe that's because it's a stimulant.
• 38:54
  So I don't really see it as helping with the oversharing aspect, as people call it.
• 39:04
  And some people say oversharing is like sharing things that are too many personal details or not appropriate for the situation.
• 39:11
  But it could just be, you know, the blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, the hyperactivity of the expression, you know, the need to share is what I call it.
• 39:18
  But I don't think medication prevents that.
• 39:23
  There may be some medications that do, but I haven't taken any ADHD medications that do.
• 39:28
  And there's a lot of things that you have to do in relationships, like setting boundaries.
• 39:33
  You know, if you're a yes person, a people pleaser, if you avoid conflict because you're a people pleaser or you're codependent because you want to help this person, but then you want to be close to them and have
• 39:46
  them help them, you know, like all that kind of stuff.
• 39:50
  Even the nervous system stuff, medication doesn't.
• 39:56
  It's not a cure for nervous system dysregulation.
• 40:01
  And that fight or flight mode.
• 40:03
  There may be some supplements that help calm the body or things that you can do to calm the body, but that's something that really needs to be done from within your system instead of on the outside and done
• 40:14
  with your body and with your mind.
• 40:17
  And just my, from all my experience, 20 plus years of teaching yoga and attending retreats and meditations and workshops, what happens is a lot of the movements we do and the slowing of the breathing and the conscious breathing
• 40:38
  and the letting go of thoughts, all of that actually makes chemical changes that the brain creates a different response that affects the whole body and benefits the body on a cellular level.
• 40:54
  There are different things like hyaluronic acid or gaba, you know, the GABA that you can get supplements.
• 41:00
  There are different things that you can have added to skin creams or take as a supplement that the brain actually produces, but not as much anymore as well or whatever it's lacking.
• 41:13
  Just like the ADHD medication can help with the dopamine, which your brain needs.
• 41:19
  You have some in your body, you know what I mean?
• 41:21
  There are ways to improve those things with our own bodies and even the serotonin with getting into a pattern of something and getting something going or exercising or whatever.
• 41:34
  And it's the same with the nervous system is that doing that from inside out.
• 41:38
  And a lot of things from inside out, like how we eat and how we exercise or how we move our bodies and don't move our bodies, rest when we need to.
• 41:50
  All of those things are helpful and are a preferred method, I guess, or more effective.
• 42:00
  Yeah, there's a lot of life skills, a lot of things.
• 42:03
  But I thought this was kind of a funny comparison.
• 42:10
  So some ADHD experts say that medication for ADHD is like wearing glasses.
• 42:16
  So if I need to wear glasses to drive to see at night, or I wear glasses to look at my computer, my glasses help me see what's on the computer screen.
• 42:26
  But they don't.
• 42:28
  They're not teaching me how to comprehend what I see or how to type my fingers, you know, like those are things that my body does on its own or that my brain does.
• 42:39
  And same with glasses for driving.
• 42:42
  They help me see where I'm going, but they don't teach me how to drive.
• 42:45
  And so your medication can help things be more clear in some way or help you have an edge or help you be able to better able to do something, but you still have to have a lot of skills
• 43:00
  and ability, abilities in order to manage your adhd.
• 43:04
  It's one part of your ADHD treatment.
• 43:06
  It is not the ADHD treatment.
• 43:10
  And then the nice thing about knowing this is that there are so many more ADHD experts now than there were when I was growing up for sure, when my kids were growing up for sure.
• 43:21
  And that means that hopefully children aren't just being medicated and not helped in the classroom.
• 43:29
  Otherwise, like I look at my boy, my.
• 43:32
  Well, I would say, I was gonna say my two boys that were very similar.
• 43:36
  One is AD is diagnosed with adhd, the other one doesn't think he has it.
• 43:41
  So.
• 43:42
  And that's okay.
• 43:43
  That's okay.
• 43:43
  His symptoms are less pronounced now than they were as a child.
• 43:46
  But impulse control was a huge thing for him when he was younger.
• 43:52
  But because we didn't know they had ADHD when they were younger and no one suggested they were put on medication, which is, I don't think either of them have a problem with, and I don't have a problem with
• 44:06
  the teachers who were the most effective, the most helpful.
• 44:10
  And me as a parent, we had to develop those methods to help them.
• 44:16
  And some were starting to be things like give them something, you know, that's squishy.
• 44:20
  To hold onto.
• 44:20
  Or one of my sons, we had a friendship bracelet like the braided kind under his desk that he could braid or whatever or things that he could squish.
• 44:30
  They do that now like the fidget toys.
• 44:31
  Right.
• 44:32
  But even has something that he could be working on.
• 44:35
  There were two years that I did part time homeschool with the district and when he was learning he was building Legos or jumping on the trampoline, he was always moving or thinking or going or something, but he could
• 44:47
  think at the same time.
• 44:47
  He could think better when he was doing something else.
• 44:49
  In school they don't usually do that, but they that they're developing methods now to help kids because they know that medication isn't the only thing.
• 44:55
  Not all parents are going to put the kids on medication.
• 44:57
  But there's just a lot more information now.
• 45:00
  So many more people being diagnosed and, and I look at at my kids and a lot of the methods that we developed without knowing what, what their diagnosis was, we knew what the symptoms were because they're show.
• 45:16
  They show up in a classroom like big time when you're a boy.
• 45:20
  And with girls sometimes we hold them in more of the masking and stuff or we find ways to cope without getting in trouble or.
• 45:34
  Save it all for when you get home.
• 45:36
  I don't know if you had any kids who do that.
• 45:38
  It's like they hold it in, hold it in.
• 45:40
  They get home, it's like can't do that anymore.
• 45:42
  But anyway, then all the symptoms come out.
• 45:46
  But yeah, there's a lot of skills to develop to help with your ADHD symptoms.
• 45:56
  And when you take medication it can help with the things that are lacking like not having enough dopamine or trying to think.
• 46:12
  There's.
• 46:13
  I don't want to get into it too much because I'm not a medical profession or profession professional.
• 46:19
  Clearly I can't even say professional right.
• 46:25
  So there are a lot of these skills that you may have done well as a child or as a teenager, maybe not, but as an adult you struggled with and the usual skills you might have looked at.
• 46:38
  Like I was really good at organizing before planning or building routines, prioritizing, why isn't that doable anymore?
• 46:47
  And you may have learned these skills and know them, but your old ways aren't working enough or working well or not working well enough.
• 46:58
  And sometimes you just add one or two steps or for me, like putting in earbuds and a podcast or a TV show that I can just listen to people talk.
• 47:10
  And I get so much done in the Olden days, before we had podcasts and earbuds and all that stuff.
• 47:15
  I used to have talk shows on, like, Oprah and Phil Donahue, and there were some that I didn't like as much, that, you know, they were just more people fighting and stuff.
• 47:27
  But.
• 47:29
  But I look at that now, and it's very similar to now.
• 47:31
  I just want to hear people talking about stuff.
• 47:33
  I need friends in the room so I can get work done.
• 47:38
  It just, you know, boosts my dopamine a bit, is what they say.
• 47:42
  But anyway.
• 47:45
  Yeah, so let me just share one thing, actually, maybe I'll save it because we need to do an episode on what actually happens with perimenopause and menopause and even post menopause that changes your neurotransmitter systems in your brain
• 48:04
  that make a difference and can worsen your attention, your working memory, your processing speed of your brain, task initiation, mental flexibility, emotional regulation.
• 48:17
  Have you felt that way with mental flexibility where, like, I used to be more easygoing about this, and now it's, like, bugging me.
• 48:24
  I feel like I've gotten crouchier.
• 48:25
  And I've wondered sometimes if it's the medication, but one of the medications I tried, Folcin, made me pretty grouchy.
• 48:32
  But every once in a while, when I get that way now, I think, is that my medication?
• 48:35
  I don't think it is.
• 48:36
  I think it's.
• 48:39
  I'm not as mentally flexible.
• 48:42
  And I.
• 48:43
  Yeah.
• 48:44
  And my husband used to always say with my grandpa, like.
• 48:48
  Like, when you get older, you could.
• 48:50
  If you were grouchy, you had, like, more of an excuse, or, like, you can get more grouchy or something.
• 48:56
  And he wasn't grouchy all the time, but he, you know, like, how come they gave me lettuce?
• 49:00
  That was wilty or something in a restaurant, like, grandpa, don't complain about that.
• 49:06
  And my husband would say that older people can get away with it.
• 49:08
  And maybe it's true that when you get older, some of those things can be heightened or continued more than they would have otherwise as the brain begins to falter.
• 49:23
  But anyway, I'm going to end here because I have no idea how long I've talked, which is actually a good thing.
• 49:28
  Where's my little screen here?
• 49:31
  Honestly, I hope I've been recording the whole time because I haven't been checking, but I do every once in a while.
• 49:37
  It's not more than an hour.
• 49:38
  That's good.
• 49:40
  But I think I'll stop here.
• 49:41
  I have a friend.
• 49:42
  I was going to drive to the beach today.
• 49:44
  I have a friend, she's actually from Omaha, and I think she listens to the podcast sometimes, actually.
• 49:50
  It's funny all the friends that later they're like, yeah, I have ADHD too.
• 49:54
  And I'm like, really?
• 49:54
  Like, we never knew back when we lived together.
• 49:57
  But she's visiting in Florida and I was going to go to Jacksonville and go to the beach and see her today, but she said, what if we drive to see you and you can see your house and everything?
• 50:07
  And I'm like, yay.
• 50:08
  And the house is semi clean, you know, it's pretty clean because I had my baby shower or bridal shower here.
• 50:13
  So I thought I'll get on record a podcast episode, not get behind this week.
• 50:18
  And the power's still going.
• 50:19
  It looks like everything's still working.
• 50:22
  And.
• 50:24
  And okay.
• 50:24
  One more thing.
• 50:26
  Any of you.
• 50:27
  And I thank you for doing this.
• 50:28
  Any of you who've gone to my website, renee-allen.com and have signed up to be on my newsletter and haven't received a thing.
• 50:39
  I just saw that the little workflow, the triggers that I had set up weren't activated.
• 50:45
  They weren't working.
• 50:47
  And I'm going to work on that today, see if I can get that out, get in touch with you, because I feel bad and you may not even remember that you did it, but I remember.
• 50:59
  I'll remember.
• 50:59
  And I saw each of your names, so I was able to do a little clicky thing on it.
• 51:03
  But I have to get that all working right and test it out and then be in touch.
• 51:10
  And some.
• 51:10
  Some little tips and tricks and motivations and who knows what else in my newsletter.
• 51:15
  If you want to be a part of that, give me a couple days before you go on.
• 51:20
  Unless you want to do it now.
• 51:21
  You can, and I will add you manually, but I don't think it'll automatically send yet because I thought, now I got to make sure this is all right.
• 51:27
  And I've been working on it, but it should be easier, but not for me.
• 51:32
  So anyway, that's it for now.
• 51:34
  I will let you go.
• 51:35
  Thanks for being here.
• 51:37
  I'll be back again.
• 51:38
  Bye.
• 51:40
  Help other women find the show rate Review Share with someone you know Help other women find my show Rate Review Share with someone you know Hurry before you forget Open windows Broken shadows Frozen dreams are left for tomorrow.
• 52:38
  And harmonies I'm cut short the silence of sound has yet been found but not by me.