Latest / Black Girl Interrupted Podcast / Stop Denying Your Child(ren) the Rights to Their Biological Father

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Stop Denying Your Child(ren) the Rights to Their Biological Father · Black Girl Interrupted Podcast

• 0:11
  Black Girl Interrupt. Y'all already know how it's got interrupted. Y'all already know
• 0:27
  how you started. Back girl is rut h alright, alright, alright,
• 0:43
  alright, So we're gonna try this again because I don't know, y'all,
• 0:47
  they run not try to let your girl be great today. But anyway,
• 0:51
  Happy Tuesday, y'all, welcome back to another episode of Black Girl Interrupted podcast.
• 0:56
  You already know who it is. It's your girl ass. I I
• 1:00
  am bad, y'all. I feel so much better, Like these last couple
• 1:04
  of weeks have really just kind of dreaming. Last week, I had a
• 1:07
  migraine so bad, y'all. But I'm here tonight, like I'm here,
• 1:11
  I'm here, I'm here tonight. I'm here to stir the hornet's nest.
• 1:15
  I'm prepared to be blocked after tonight's episode. I'm prepared to receive the messages
• 1:23
  that say, I'm a I'm a woman basser and I hate women and how
• 1:27
  can I hate women? And if I'm a black woman, and so I'm
• 1:32
  prepared for those those types of messages tonight. But anyway, y'all already know
• 1:37
  what's your girl ash again? Happy Tuesday. I hope everyone has had a
• 1:42
  phenomena week so far. I haven't seen y'all in over a week cause last
• 1:49
  week I just I really just wasn't feeling good. Blood pressure was up.
• 1:53
  But I'm good. I feel better today. I'm back taking my blood pressure
• 1:57
  medicine. So I'm good. I feel great. I feel better today.
• 2:04
  Uh but here I am for do ever so and it's messy, but I
• 2:10
  like it. But it's a much needed conversation because we're seeing these things happen
• 2:15
  far too often and the children are always left holding the bag for the mistakes
• 2:23
  that parents. Mate has sisty. She said, yes, she said,
• 2:30
  you don't hate them, you tell them what needs to be Yes, I
• 2:34
  am, and tonight it's it's it's a little juicy tonight. I'm actually traveling
• 2:39
  into some uncharted waters. We do see people have these types of conversations,
• 2:46
  but not in in this capacity. So thank you for tuning in tonight.
• 2:53
  So y'all already know what I do before I even get started. Y'all know,
• 2:58
  I do have to do my mental health check in. I do need
• 3:00
  to check in with everybody. I need to make sure y'all are good.
• 3:04
  Yesterday was Mental health Awareness Day, so of course that was on a Monday,
• 3:09
  And of course you know I do my shows on Tuesdays and Wednesdays now,
• 3:13
  but I still advocate, I still do my mental health check ins.
• 3:17
  I still have to make sure y'all are good, because again, suicide rates
• 3:23
  are steadily increasing, not only in black women, but in black men.
• 3:30
  So it's imperative that I check in with you. It's imperative that I always
• 3:34
  give you something encouraging, something uplifting, something empowering, because I want you
• 3:39
  to guys. I want you, guys to know that the journey does not
• 3:44
  stop. Although you may fall down, I want you to know that you
• 3:47
  can always get back up. I don't want you to give up. I
• 3:52
  don't want you to give in, because that's exactly what the devil wants you
• 3:54
  to do. And I share this with you because these are my experiences.
• 3:59
  These are things that I've experienced in my life and what I still continue to
• 4:02
  experience. But I fight and I pushed through every day. So if I
• 4:08
  can get up here even on my worst and my hardest days, I want
• 4:13
  you guys to do the same. So that's why I always start my episodes
• 4:16
  with a mental health check in, because I don't know what you're going through.
• 4:20
  Everybody doesn't post what they're going through. But I want you to know
• 4:25
  that somebody that a person like me, I'm thinking about you, that I
• 4:28
  want to love on you, I want to pour into you, and I
• 4:30
  want to encourage you to keep going. So this is why I do my
• 4:35
  mental health check ins. Uh So, Shena says, I'm here for the
• 4:40
  ride. Girl. Just wait till you see what this topic is about tonight.
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  It's a little petty, but I mean, hey, it is what
• 4:47
  it is. And actually a law has been passed with regards to the conversation
• 4:51
  for the night. But we'll get into that, so she says. She
• 4:57
  says, I'm okay today. I was kind of down yesterday and that's a
• 5:00
  beautiful thing because you made the wake up list today. So although yesterday may
• 5:05
  not have been good, today was better. And we have to give ourselves
• 5:12
  grace and to allow us to walk one foot in front of the other.
• 5:15
  We have to stop trying to do everything at one time. We have to
• 5:19
  take a day by day. We have to so for someone that is standing
• 5:25
  in the midst of a storm, for someone that just feels like I just
• 5:29
  can't do it. This video is for you, and then we're gonna get
• 5:32
  into tonight's conversation. When everybody it's against you or don't believe in you no
• 5:41
  more. It's a lonely feeling. Oh it hurts very badly. I know
• 5:46
  what that's like. And look at you with that look and say, why
• 5:49
  don't you try something else? Why don't you give up? Get away from
• 5:55
  these people that's in your life that ain't doing nothing. Get away from people
• 5:59
  in your life that's hey, get away from them, get away from them.
• 6:03
  If you take an oak tree seed and you put it in a two
• 6:09
  foot pot, that seed will never become the oak tree that oak trees are
• 6:15
  capable of becoming, because it's gonna get stifled by the two foot pot.
• 6:20
  Next, check this out. They nothing wrong with the seed. Seed just
• 6:24
  fail prey to the environment. Don't you allow your environment to dictate the oak
• 6:31
  tree that you become. Any time you move from being normal to trying to
• 6:35
  be exceptional, people are gonna like this. Normal people. It makes them
• 6:41
  feel like it's gonna touch you. And that's why every true leader they're called
• 6:45
  weird, they're called eccentric. When you do the things of real leadership,
• 6:49
  you're gonna be called strange. Get strong enough in your own skin that when
• 6:55
  people laugh at you, or when they throw stones at you, you keep
• 6:59
  on going. I respect any motherfucker that wakes up every day and work.
• 7:04
  They ass off to live their life and lifestyle. The club and party and
• 7:10
  hanging out. That ain't for me. I'm gonna be out here running in
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  the hot sun, practicing while everybody else's clubing and hanging out. You got
• 7:17
  your focus right. Don't expect people to understand. You don't expect it to
• 7:23
  make sense to anybody. Why you've got to do this, Why you have
• 7:27
  got to go, Why you leave? This is a good job. I'm
• 7:30
  going. They pay you well, I'm going why I don't understand. We
• 7:33
  don't have to. I'm going for me. This is something I have got
• 7:38
  to do. How are you going to make it? I don't know,
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  but I will. The universe responds to the man or woman that refuses to
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  be denied, because that is your commitment, that business that you want,
• 7:50
  that book you want to write, that dream that you have. I'm controlling
• 7:55
  your destiny, that is yours, that's available to you. But you have
• 7:59
  got to be willing to stand there and face disappointment, not have support,
• 8:03
  feel lonely, doubt yourself, sometimes be rejected again and again and again,
• 8:09
  become bankrupt if necessary, again and again and again, and refuse to turn
• 8:13
  around until life gives it up. Life will always be, to a lodge
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  extent, what you make it, not what circumstances will make of it,
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  not what other people will make of it, not what other people say it
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  will be, not what the environment will try and dictate to you, but
• 8:31
  what you make of your life. So, when you're uncommon, get ready
• 8:35
  for the criticism. When you're uncommon, get ready for the opposition. When
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  you're uncommon, get ready for the common people not to understand you. If
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  I decided to experience the fear of rejection, the fear of know the fear
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  of failure, the fear of standing by myself, the fear of people not
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  liking me, what else is available of taking a chance, of fear of
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  losing it all? What else is available to me? People are gonna take
• 9:03
  You're crazy, You'll have nothing for living in the corner of your pockets.
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  You already talking about living your creed, and people laughing at you, and
• 9:11
  they're doubting you. To take guts ladies in the oven. And let me
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  tell you, I believe in revenge. Like French or not, he said,
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  the best revenge is massive success. Is that the killing him with kindness
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  towards them with a success. So I really wanted to leave that with anybody
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  that's standing in the midst of a storm right now, I just want you
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  to know that I love you. I'm sending you a massive amount of love,
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  and this is your winning season. It's gonna be times where it gets
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  uncomfortable and it doesn't feel good, but sometimes you have to get uncomfortable in
• 10:15
  order to get comfortable. So please know that, regardless of where you are
• 10:18
  in life, keep going, keep going. Don't stop if you are around
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  weeds, baby cleared and wheeze out your garden because that's the only way your
• 10:30
  flowers are gonna bloom. And I'm gonna leave it at that. So whatever
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  it is you're going through, I love you. We got this. You're
• 10:37
  not by yourself, You're not alone, because we're gonna do this. We're
• 10:41
  gonna come out on top. We're gonna come out victoriously because God made us
• 10:45
  and created us imperfectly perfect. So your role and your journey is not gonna
• 10:50
  look anything like mine, and mine is not gonna look like yours. But
• 10:54
  just know we're all gonna get to the finish linet at different times, but
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  we're all gonna get there. So I just want to leave y'all with that.
• 11:01
  But I love y'all, I really truly do. Hey, let's jump
• 11:05
  into tonight's conversation called baby, what I tell you? I'm seeing this far
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  too often. I'm seeing this, you know, just far too often,
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  way too often, and it's really pissing me off. So Jule says,
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  Hey, Sis, I'm here and doing great. Don't be trying to ask
• 11:28
  me to do my fingers. I can't do all of that, but I
• 11:31
  love you too. Whatever, y'all know what I'll be trying to do.
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  Y'all know I'll be off in this Comebible, lady, but I did post
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  this for y'all. Tugs and love to anyone standing in the storm, this
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  is your winning season. Don't give up. Keep going, and just know,
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  taking one day at a time, day by day, give yourself grace.
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  You're gonna fall down, you're gonna mess up, but that doesn't mean
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  you get down and you stay there. I'm telling you I'm learning this.
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  So as I'm learning, I'm learning y'all something because I'm giving it back to
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  y'all. Everything I learned, I'm giving back to y'all. So I want
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  you to always remember this is your winning season. Don't never give up and
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  keep going no matter how many times you fall down, get back up,
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  get back up, keep going. Start kicking these dolls in. Start creating
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  your own tables. And people don't make room for you at their tables.
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  You make your own, create your own table. Don't worry about everybody else.
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  You get yours, all right, So we are getting into nice conversation.
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  So me and my sister we were talking about this, and this really
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  actually came about with the situation where Kirk Franklin finding out after fifty three years
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  who is biological father. Really truly was Let me say this. I know
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  some of y'all women may get triggered tonight for the school, and I really
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  don't care because I am for the right when it comes to children, whether
• 13:03
  it's the mama the daddy, I'm for the right of the child. So
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  tonight's conversation is mama's baby dadd is maybe chu chu chu chap. So for
• 13:16
  those that have not watched the documentary of Kurk Franklin. Kurk Franklin was on
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  a journey to find out who his biological father was. He hadn't had a
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  relationship, he hadn't spoken with his mother in twenty three years, and for
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  fifty three years he thought one man was his father, but come to find
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  out it was another man. Again, we see this far too often in
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  the community, especially in the older generation. We see them that will carry
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  these secrets to the grain, not knowing how this affects the child when the
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  child really does find out who the biological father is, and the mother and
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  the relatives really just kind of sweep it under the rug and say, oh,
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  well, you know, no, we don't know. Because at some
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  point, you mothers that do this to your children, you need to take
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  some accountability because you are the reason that these men create all these broken homes
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  that have multiple children by multiple women and are not active participants in their children's
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  life because they mimic what you do. They've seen what you do. So
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  your mom's need to I'm holding your mom is accountable tonight for this foolishness,
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  because at some point this needs to stop, because not only do you hurt
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  the man, but you hurt the child. And I think that's really selfish
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  that you don't take into consideration what this will do to your child. In
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  the long run, your lives will eventually catch up to you. So again,
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  so for those that did not get to watch the documentary, here is
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  the little clip of Kirk Franklin finding out who his biological father was. And
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  then we're gonna jump take into the conversation. Probability of fraternity is fair one
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  hundred percent, said possible. It's not baby. I can swear on my
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  dead mother's grave rack cupboard that is not your father. I don't know what
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  happened how this fraternity tests came back ninety nine point nine five percent, But
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  I really would like to get to the botcambo. You you see the woman
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  all next to her, just go ahead to No, you should have you
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  should have disinfringe yourself with him. What if that's even a word. Disassociate
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  yourself with that woman. You shouldn't even be around this type of spirit.
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  That lady put it on her mama's grave that that that DNA test was wrong.
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  Think about that, boy. These women would take a lie to the
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  grave and you wonder why all the women, ancestors, all the ancestors and
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  engraves baby what he said was dead all because even after two paternity tests,
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  the mother still refused to acknowledge that that man is Kirk Franklin's father. And
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  the sad part about it again, like the gentleman said, and like I
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  just said, you do some serious damage to these children by lying to them.
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  I just don't understand why do you do this. I get it,
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  maybe you wanted the other man to be the daddy, But at the end
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  of the day, I'm gonna go on and see it because see a lot
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  of people, some of y'all be afraid to see this. Stop mismanaging your
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  vagina. Okay, let me go and put that out there, because you
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  are creating and having these children, and you're putting it off on these men,
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  and you know that that's not the child's father or the children's father own
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  it. Take take accountability for this. To you know what I messed up.
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  I slept with multiple men. Take accountability for that. I can attest
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  to that because I was in a very same similar situation around the time,
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  and I've shared this with y'all. I had relations with two men around the
• 17:37
  same time that I got pregnant with my son. But the difference between me
• 17:41
  and Kirk Franklin's mother. I was pregnant when I told both of them,
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  Hey, you could be the father. It's a possibility you could be the
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  father. It's a possibility that you could be the father. And after I
• 17:56
  had my baby, I think my baby may have been four or five abey
• 18:00
  six months old when we did the DNA test. So I didn't wait until
• 18:03
  my child was ten years old, fifteen years old, twenty three years old
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  to tell him, old, this is really not your biological five. I
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  didn't do that because I knew what that would do to my child and to
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  the man that would be thinking, oh, this is my son, this
• 18:22
  is my son, this is my son, and then come to find out
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  it's really not. You need to nip that in the bud from the beginning.
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  If you know, women that you have slept with multiple men around the
• 18:33
  time that you concede around let me say this around your data conception on that
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  on that, yes, y'all be afraid because you don't want the man to
• 18:45
  goal. You know, if you tell the man that you're cheat, that
• 18:48
  you slept with somebody else, he's gonna go. Well, that was the
• 18:49
  risk you took when you laid down and opened your legs. So I don't
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  feel bad for you. And it's time for the world to stop feeling bad
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  for y'all. And these continuous mistakes, especially when you know that that's not
• 19:03
  the father of your child. You know this, but you carry on this
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  lie to keep the man around. And then when the man finds out that
• 19:12
  he's not really the child's father, now you're sitting up here looking dumbfound it
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  because now the man is leaving, has left because of your life. And
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  then y'all laugh about But these are the same men again that create these broken
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  homes, that create these households with multiple children that they're not even active participants
• 19:37
  in their children's lives. And y'all are okay with this. I see some
• 19:45
  of you women and in some of your women that's on my timeline that I
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  know for a fact y'all have lied to men about these men being the fathers
• 19:52
  of your child or children. I know for a fact. But I'm not
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  gonna call y'all out because y'all like this. Oh well, I just will
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  take it to my grave, okay, and then when your child finds out
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  then what then? What? What? What do you have to say?
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  You have men out here that are paying child support for children that don't even
• 20:23
  belong to them, all because you lie, all because you said, oh,
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  yeah, you're the daddy, you're the daddy. You didn't got the
• 20:32
  man to sign a birth certificate, and then come to find out he's not
• 20:34
  even a daddy, but he's still responsible financially for taking care of a child
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  that's not even biologically his. But I do commend the men that even though
• 20:49
  that's not the child, that's not their biological baby, I commend that.
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  Du I commend the men that do stick around. I commend that. But
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  I don't commend the women that drag on this line. Like Kirk Franklin's mother.
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  Again, they had two fraternity tests and both of them and the results
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  were the saint. And for you to refuse to acknowledge that, just say,
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  you know what, I slept with another man around the time that you
• 21:22
  will conceive on that in that moment, that's what she should have did.
• 21:30
  But for you, as a mother to sit up there and say, I
• 21:33
  don't know how this happened, you'll know how it happened. You'll slept with
• 21:36
  that man. That's how it happened. You laid down, you had sex
• 21:42
  with this man, and you ended up braking on that. Just say,
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  you know, let me just go ahead and acknowledge that, because you haven't
• 21:52
  even spoken to your son in twenty plus years, and this is the way
• 21:56
  you're trying to redeem yourself by saying, oh, no, I just I
• 22:03
  just know that's not your that yes, it is, whether you want to
• 22:10
  believe it or not. On that, stop giving your coulter to everybody.
• 22:18
  You know the risk when you lay down with somebody, you're either gonna end
• 22:19
  up pregnant or you gonna wind up with a disease or something you can't get
• 22:22
  rid of. But if this is not who you wanted, you shouldn't have
• 22:27
  never laid down with it, or you should have used some type of protection,
• 22:30
  whatever the situation was. It's not the child's fault. And this man
• 22:34
  has ever right to know who is biological father is because he missed out.
• 22:41
  People don't realize what the effects of not knowing who you're by or not being
• 22:48
  able to have access to your biological father. You don't know what that does
• 22:52
  to the child. And it's actually one of the questions, like in your
• 22:59
  honest up and you know your thoughts, how does not knowing your biological father
• 23:03
  affect a child or the children? To me? And I'm gonna tell you
• 23:10
  what I what what my comment was with regards to my answer to this question.
• 23:15
  Knowing how to identify your biological father is a crucial first step, whether
• 23:19
  you're interested in learning about your genetic heritage or your seeking answers to bidal issues
• 23:26
  about your family and your health. So again there's that question, how does
• 23:32
  not knowing your biological affect a child or the children? What if your baby
• 23:37
  get sick and the child needs the blood transfusion or the baby needs an organ
• 23:45
  or something, and then come to find out the father is not a match
• 23:49
  because they're not biologically related. How do you explain that to your child?
• 23:57
  How do you explain that to the man? How do you explain that to
• 24:03
  him? How do you how do you go to a man and say,
• 24:07
  for fifteen years, I've been lying to you about this being your biological child,
• 24:12
  this is really not your biological child. How do you expect that child
• 24:18
  react or how do you expect a man to react? Wouldn't you want your
• 24:23
  child to know where they come from. Wouldn't you want to know if there's
• 24:32
  a health issue, can this person help your child? And I think that
• 24:38
  would be the most disheartening way to find out that that's not your biological child.
• 24:45
  It's through a health crisis. Say the child that the child has is
• 24:52
  dying and the only way they can live is if they get a kidney And
• 24:56
  then you come to find out that the man you've been calling dad all your
• 25:02
  life is not really your dad. I look at Kary washington situation. For
• 25:10
  those that make that didn't watch her special on Hulu. She found out just
• 25:15
  what last year that her father is not her biological father, that she was
• 25:21
  conceived through a spermed owner. We see this far too often in a black
• 25:29
  community, women having babies with married men and the father is living down the
• 25:37
  street. That's Terrell Owens situation. Mother's lying you having these children dad lives
• 25:47
  right across the street, down the street around the corner. Or you have
• 25:51
  the child calling this man uncle and that's really the child's father. And that
• 26:00
  is the most upsetting and disheartening thing a child ever has the experience. It's
• 26:07
  all this time you've been thinking that this is your dad. I know they
• 26:11
  say blood don't make your family. I know that, but let's look at
• 26:18
  it as you've been told your entire life. This is your dad. This
• 26:21
  is your dad, This is your dad, this is your biological dad.
• 26:23
  Oh no, it could be no one else, Only to find out that's
• 26:27
  not. I found a story of a man in Detroit. Y'all. This
• 26:37
  happened maybe six years ago. When I saw this, I wanted to spit
• 26:49
  nails at the screen when I saw this man's story. This happened in Detroit.
• 26:57
  If we're going I'll get right back into the conversation, Kelly, Thank
• 27:03
  you. Woman's life going through some unnecessary legal drama, this after receiving a
• 27:07
  letter that he had fathered a child with a woman he did never even met.
• 27:11
  Now vindication of source. It's a fall to a story I brought you
• 27:14
  earlier this year on his legal fight and what comes next. She don't know
• 27:19
  me? How do you just put my name down? How did you just
• 27:22
  put anybody names? I don't know her, never seen her, still to
• 27:26
  this day, having talked to her, and it just proved out that the
• 27:29
  baby has no ties to my name and Thankfully the lady did bring the child
• 27:33
  in to get tested, and that's all I needed to happen. This letter
• 27:38
  from Friend of the Court reason part dear mister Smith, and closed is a
• 27:44
  copy of the genetic test results excluding you asked the father. Let's just set
• 27:51
  the record. I trust my husband because I know his character, man of
• 27:56
  integrity. I would like to say relief, but it's kind of like confirmation
• 28:00
  really, because I already knew that I had no ties and no links to
• 28:06
  this child or this woman. And to have that letter come to my house
• 28:10
  that you know it did, it was a little unnerving, but not from
• 28:14
  the standpoint of being caught up in something. It was a little unnerving that,
• 28:18
  you know, a letter like this could come to my house having no
• 28:22
  legitimacy to it. We first brought you the story of D'Angelo Smith in late
• 28:26
  January, when he presented some wild allegations against front of the courts in Burying
• 28:30
  County. The initial letter sent to his home stated a woman who we are
• 28:36
  not naming, alleging him to be the father of her daughter, a child
• 28:41
  between the age of one and two years old. She's a stripper from Detroit.
• 28:45
  We had a one night stand at some hotel that we're supposed to been
• 28:49
  and went to and and this is a story that was told to me while
• 28:55
  playing the waiting game for the alectrial mother to bring in the baby for a
• 28:59
  DNA sample. The school where D'Angel Smith's teachers received an enquiry for possible garnishment
• 29:04
  if things did not go in this favor where it made it not something that
• 29:10
  was being a LEDs now is something that's being taken into action, and there's
• 29:14
  no paternity been established, but clearly these test results confirmed that to no longer
• 29:19
  be the case that being said strong marriage or not, clean past or not.
• 29:26
  That's a very tough letter for anyone to receive. Absolutely without it improve
• 29:30
  Absolutely it is. It is. The main things that they have to provide
• 29:36
  to the State of Michigan is a name and a birth date and where they
• 29:40
  live. That's easy information for someone to gather off of Google, off of
• 29:45
  Facebook, off of any kind of social media platform. People who have checker
• 29:49
  pass, who have done things in the past, who have you know,
• 29:52
  old stepped out and did things that was unbecoming of a real man, right
• 29:57
  and so, but they've changed and they've cleaned up their act and they've gotten
• 30:02
  better, which all of us have the opportunity of doing it getting better.
• 30:06
  But a letter like this coming to that house a man that has changed his
• 30:10
  ways, that has walked in a different direction, this letter could be absolutely
• 30:15
  devastating because of what you've done. Before. We made several calls to lawmakers
• 30:18
  and Lansing who are familiar with this particular topic to get some assers. It's
• 30:23
  very unfortunate, but paternity fraud is not a unique unusual situation in Michigan.
• 30:30
  Senator Jim Runstead tells me he's been pushing for new legislation on the matter during
• 30:33
  the past eight years, saying, right now, there's no penalty for lyne.
• 30:38
  Senator, what was the opposition for not passing this kind of legislation,
• 30:45
  Well, maybe it would hinder mothers. You don't want to name a particular
• 30:49
  guy, or they made a mistake, but you had knowingly, knowingly named
• 30:56
  the wrong person. It becomes emotional stuff, respectfully, to mandate that DNA
• 31:03
  testing for the child is conducted first before a letter sent to someone's home alleging
• 31:10
  maybe be the father of a child regarding a woman whom they have never met.
• 31:15
  Doesn't that seem like common sense type of legislation. I tell you,
• 31:22
  Joshua, the common sense goes out the window. I'd be more than happy
• 31:26
  to put that villain. And I've tell you it wouldn't get wouldn't even get
• 31:30
  a hearing in committee. I'll guarantee you it wouldn't even get a hearing in
• 31:33
  committee. That ran across just before the only reason I believe that this woman
• 31:37
  came in was because of Fox Too. Fox Too provided a platform where the
• 31:41
  word got out, and this word spread it like wildfire quickly to the point
• 31:47
  where the lady came in. Now I asks the course of the friend of
• 31:51
  course about bringing her in. They said, well, we just have to
• 31:53
  wait until she comes in. But I thank god that Fox Too provide a
• 31:59
  platform where the lady was able to come in. But everybody does not have
• 32:02
  that opportunity for Fox two to show up at their doorstep to help them out.
• 32:09
  A lot to wrap your head around. Guys are real quick. As
• 32:12
  we did in our initial story. We called Friend of the Court for a
• 32:14
  comment, but have not heard back. In the meantime, Senator Jim Rusta
• 32:17
  tells me, if you're caught in a similar situation, your best option is
• 32:21
  to hire an attorney if possible. Also, and this is very key,
• 32:24
  reach out to your lawmakers, the senator says. More by partisanship is much
• 32:29
  needed on this very touchy matter. Could they could destroy a whole relationship?
• 32:35
  I mean, I mean, luckily here's a guy that has you know,
• 32:38
  that's very under I mean, some people would have packed up and the left
• 32:42
  side I just don't believe you and you could have destroyed a life. Bingo,
• 32:45
  unbelievable story for them to send that to work. Can you imagine if
• 32:50
  you worked at a certain place and the rumors would start to spread? Yes,
• 32:53
  I mean it is potentially not only family depression of character in the public
• 32:59
  eye, you're in your life. I can't imagine how frustrated that family was
• 33:04
  while they were trying to get answered. Highly frustrated, Amy and Jay highly
• 33:07
  frustrated because again you're getting an inquiry by your finances without even confirmation if you're
• 33:13
  connected to this particular day. Where's the proof. Wow, it's a lot
• 33:17
  more dialogue is needed on this matter of answer for sure. Thanks for bringing
• 33:22
  that to life. Thank you. We'll be right back. Let me tell
• 33:29
  y'all when I saw that, that immediately say my blood pressure to a thousand,
• 33:39
  And I'm gonna tell you why, because paternity fraud is not a crime.
• 33:46
  Unfortunately it's not. You have countless women that sit and pin babies on
• 33:54
  men every day, and you know damn well that that is not the father
• 33:59
  of the child. You women that do that, there is a hot place
• 34:06
  in hell that will awaits you when your judgment day comes. And I'm just
• 34:10
  gonna go ahead and see because we see this far too often. These men
• 34:15
  are stuck taking care of children that do not belong to them, that they
• 34:19
  are not biologically entitled to, and nothing is done. The only thing that
• 34:25
  a man can do to get any type of restitution if he's spent any moneys
• 34:31
  and wants to recoup it back, it has to be taken to civil court.
• 34:37
  She cannot be held criminally. Let me let me get the because I'm
• 34:45
  so pissed off right now, y'all, Like I really just don't even think
• 34:47
  that y'all know how upset this makes me because these women do this all the
• 34:54
  time, Jewel says. She says, I remember this, that was crazy
• 35:01
  as hell, absolute because how can you just go to the courts and say,
• 35:07
  oh yeah, this is this is the father of my child. And
• 35:10
  for the man to get a letter at the school saying that they're about to
• 35:14
  garnish your wages. But and you like what, they wait a minute and
• 35:17
  no criminal charges. The woman is not held criminally responsible for this, for
• 35:23
  lying, for frauding. You're defrauding the system. You're defrauding the system.
• 35:35
  Tashina says, this is why I love my husband. He supported me waiting
• 35:39
  to tell our son who his father really was. I kept open communication all
• 35:45
  the time for this moment. My son deserves to know who his father is.
• 35:47
  My son, even at the meeting, his real dad calls my father,
• 35:52
  my husband his father because he's all he knows. And that's the beautiful
• 35:57
  part about is that you gave him the opportunity. Women. Some of these
• 36:01
  women don't even give the child the opportunity. They just carry the line just
• 36:07
  and run with it until they're faceful situations like this, and then when you're
• 36:13
  coming you confront the mother about it. Shit thinks it's funny, it's a
• 36:19
  joke. It's not funny, and it's not a joke because see, you're
• 36:22
  playing with someone's livelihood. Not only have you affected someone's mental state, but
• 36:28
  you're affecting them emotionally. You're hurting the child because you want to be selfish
• 36:34
  because you wanted this man to be the daddy and he's not the father.
• 36:38
  If that's who you wanted to be the father of your child, learn how
• 36:42
  to manage your vagina, learn how to manage that. Ladies take accountability for
• 36:46
  some of this. Yes, some of the men are to blame. But
• 36:51
  you women, you're this is you. You don't see men running down there
• 36:55
  saying, oh, this is this is no. You have women that lie.
• 37:02
  I know people right now on my Facebook friends list that I know for
• 37:06
  a fact have lied about who their children's fathers really truly are. And I
• 37:12
  really some days I want to choke the hell out of y'all because I'm looking
• 37:15
  at you and I'm like, and you know that that's not the child's dad.
• 37:19
  This. Oh, let me take a deep breath, because I said
• 37:22
  I was not gonna let this upset me, but it does because I have
• 37:28
  a son. I have a son, and I would never want a woman
• 37:35
  to do my son that week. I have two daughters and I would never
• 37:39
  want my daughters to do another man to do a man that week to pin
• 37:44
  a child on him, and you know that that child don't belong to him.
• 37:50
  This is why I'm having this conversation because there are a lot of children
• 37:54
  out here who are walking around or thinking that this person is their dad and
• 38:00
  that's really not their father. This upsets me, It infuriates me, and
• 38:06
  it even takes me back to our And I'm gonna trigger some of y'all because
• 38:09
  some of y'all mamas did this, Some of your grandmamas did this, and
• 38:15
  your family members knew about it, and they upheld the bullshit. They upheld
• 38:23
  the bullshit. They co signed the foolery that some of your relatives have done.
• 38:34
  Hell, you even got relatives that are raising the children and telling the
• 38:37
  child that that stay mama, no. Tell this child early on, give
• 38:43
  that child a choice, Give that child an option to decide what they want
• 38:50
  to do. If that child doesn't want to deal with you, then that's
• 38:53
  your that's your fault, that's your close to bad baby. That's not the
• 38:57
  child's responsibility to carry. You're a load. That's not the child's fault.
• 39:04
  You're responsible. You're accountable for bleeding on their child, your foolishness, and
• 39:08
  your lives. At some point women. You need to hold yourself accountable because
• 39:14
  guess what these men or who you raise, These are the men that you
• 39:20
  give birth to. These are some of the daughters you get birth to,
• 39:27
  and you uphold the foolery that your daughters do. Start calling the people out
• 39:32
  on the bullshit. I'm just gonna see it. And I'm talking to some
• 39:37
  of your aunties. I'm talking to some of your grandmothers, your cousins,
• 39:42
  I'm talking to y'all. It's not just so much the younger generation, but
• 39:46
  it's the older generation. Y'all are trying to take these secrets to the grave.
• 39:58
  And then after you're going and the child finds out, then what then
• 40:01
  what? The child is still left to pick up the pieces of your past.
• 40:12
  Y'all better be mindful what they're all saying, what you're doing. A
• 40:15
  dark always finds its way to the light. Put it in the light before
• 40:19
  it finds its way there. You got people that are losing their lives behind
• 40:23
  lies, the lies that you women are telling, behind these stories, in
• 40:28
  these scenarios that y'all are creating, all because you're trying to hold on to
• 40:31
  the man. Never let that man go, because the baby ain't gonna make
• 40:36
  a man stay. A man don't only want to be kept if he wants
• 40:39
  to. And don't matter how many children you have, no matter how many
• 40:44
  babies you try to pin on him. If that man wants to go a
• 40:45
  baby, that man gonna go. Let that man go, y'all just really,
• 40:50
  Irk, I'm telling you so to Tashena says. Women who do this
• 40:54
  to innocent men, or use their children as ponds get to get their way,
• 40:59
  Irk, my entire a soul. The courts need to support the fathers
• 41:01
  too, especially the ones who are there for their kids. This is traumatic
• 41:06
  for the child, right, So Sheina says it should be and paternity fraud
• 41:12
  should be a crime. Women should be penalized for this criminally. I don't
• 41:20
  care if it's probation restitution. I think women that collect child support from men
• 41:25
  and you noringly know that that's not the follow of your child. I think
• 41:29
  you need to pay that restitution back. I think that man. I think
• 41:31
  you need to have your wages garnished. I said it, I did.
• 41:38
  I think you need to pay that man back. So Jewels says, it's
• 41:45
  sad that all it takes is for a woman to go down there and give
• 41:49
  a man's name, and they throw the man on support, right and there's
• 41:53
  no there's no paternity laws in Michigan. Before I jump into the rest of
• 41:59
  these comments, here's another story out of Detroit, Michigan. Or a man
• 42:05
  who heathical turn itself in. Here we go information in a story first exposed
• 42:13
  about the state ordering a Detroit man to pay child support for a kid that
• 42:15
  everybody agrees isn't his. As seven Action News reporter Kim Russell tells us,
• 42:20
  the court has made him a wanted man until he pays up. When I
• 42:24
  exposed this story, I thought someone a friend of the court would fix a
• 42:28
  clear injustice. Instead, a warrant has now been issued for Cardinal Alexander's arrest.
• 42:34
  For him, it's deja vous. In nineteen ninety one, during a
• 42:37
  traffic stop, Cardinal Alexander got a shock. Police arrested him. His crime
• 42:43
  being a deadbeat dad. I knew I didn't have a child, so I
• 42:46
  was kind of blown back, he told seven Action News. He would later
• 42:50
  learn this happened because his acts needed help at a time, to welfare to
• 42:53
  get assistant to take care of them, and I had to put him down
• 42:58
  asked the father that was done and get assistant that started a praternity case.
• 43:02
  A process server then turned in this paper saying Carnell had been notified at a
• 43:07
  house in Highland Park, so when he didn't show up at court, he
• 43:10
  was legally listed as dad. The problem Carnell didn't get notified. He wasn't
• 43:15
  even at a house in Highland Park. He was in prison for a crime
• 43:19
  he committed as a young man, and by the time he learned about the
• 43:22
  paternity case, judges told him it was too late. Legally, he owes
• 43:25
  the state more than thirty grand for assistance paid to care for a child.
• 43:30
  Fathers that I did not biologically create or spend any time with throughout my life.
• 43:38
  I find that very unfair. Carnell says he won't pay. He tells
• 43:42
  me tomorrow he will turn himself in. I will go to jail if I
• 43:45
  have to, because I'm tired of the situation and miss hailing the case.
• 43:51
  I don't think that's right. Murray Davis from the National Family Justice Association says
• 43:54
  there are thousands of men in Carnell Alexander's shoes because Michigan does not I have
• 44:00
  paternity fraud laws that protect men. Michigan does not recognize fraternity fraud in the
• 44:06
  sense that a person who has been found not to be the father is relieved
• 44:10
  of those obligations. I did reach out to front of the court and was
• 44:14
  told that they cannot comment on open and active cases. Carnal, in the
• 44:17
  meantime, plans to go to court and turn himself in tomorrow with his attorney,
• 44:22
  who hopes to convince a judge to let him go free. We'll let
• 44:24
  you know what happens. Kim Russell seven Action News. All right, Kim,
• 44:29
  certainly a lot of people watching that. Let me take a deep breath,
• 44:47
  so let me really kind of process all of this. Because this man
• 45:00
  was in prison when this child was even conceived, and all because you needed
• 45:07
  assistance. You just decided to put a name down so you could get assistance.
• 45:16
  If that ain't a crime, I don't know what it is, because
• 45:21
  that's almost saying I'm gonna go down there and no, I can't have no
• 45:25
  more children. I'm gonna go get somebody baby in and go put my my
• 45:30
  fiancee name on there, and no, I can't have no more babies.
• 45:35
  I could just pick a rent any many mind and mold. Okay, yeah,
• 45:37
  I want you to be the baby daddy. Let me put your name
• 45:40
  down, let me go down up with your information. That seems to be
• 45:46
  the thing that seems to be all that they care about. So Jewels says,
• 45:59
  say that part is the system gets a kickback off of every case.
• 46:02
  The system needs a major overhaul. Oh yeah, they do. Of course
• 46:07
  they do. And I know here in the state of Texas, if you
• 46:13
  apply for any type of assistance, you have to put the man on child
• 46:16
  support. The man is You're required to produce the man's name, or of
• 46:24
  course you can lie and say, well, you don't know who the father
• 46:27
  is. Soshina says, they don't care. That bitter baby mama syndrome is
• 46:36
  real syst and as sad, accountability needs to be had with us women.
• 46:39
  We need to do better. I absolutely agree, because my brother is going
• 46:43
  through that. His daughter is sixteen. Now he's going through that with the
• 46:47
  baby mama. So Malcolm says, shaking my head, Soshina says, woo,
• 46:58
  this is the mess that boils my blood. She's say, you know,
• 47:00
  women brag about ruining people, ruining people's lives like this, absolutely and
• 47:05
  the sad part about it is they know for a fact this man was in
• 47:07
  prison, so there's no biologically, there's no possible way that he could have
• 47:13
  biologically create procreated a child with this woman. And you heard the woman say
• 47:19
  I needed assistance. So I went down and I put his name down there.
• 47:22
  So and this was six years ago, so I don't I didn't see.
• 47:25
  I was looking to see if maybe there was an update with the kid
• 47:29
  with that one. Again, that was six years ago, and I didn't
• 47:31
  see anything. So I pray that it worked out in that man's favor,
• 47:37
  because that's that's sad to get pulled over and that they're taking you to jail
• 47:45
  for a baby that you know you didn't biologically create. And the man said,
• 47:53
  I'm willing to go to jail, and the woman knew that he won
• 47:59
  to far then I was in prison. How could he have created a child?
• 48:04
  He was in prison. But this is the narrative, this is this
• 48:10
  is what women do. And again, I'm gonna talk to you the older
• 48:17
  generation. I'm talking to your aunties, I'm talking to your grandmother's, I'm
• 48:21
  talking to your mamas that have done this, that have lied. And then
• 48:32
  I've seen stories where people have found out doing what is it the twenty one
• 48:37
  in me? What is it the DNA? Where people are trying to what
• 48:40
  is it the twenty one in me or whatever it is. I've seen stories
• 48:44
  where people have found out that this person is not really they mama, this
• 48:49
  person is really not they dad, because they're trying to put a family tree
• 48:52
  together. They're trying to know there you go, twenty three in me.
• 48:54
  That's what it is. Sashina say, twenty three and me, baby,
• 48:58
  I knew it was somebody a twenty two in me. I can make him.
• 49:00
  I knew it was somebody twenty somebody in me. But I've seen stories
• 49:04
  where where people have found out that this is not their biological mother, or
• 49:08
  this is not their biological father, trying to find out their their heritage,
• 49:13
  where do I come from? We see these stories, but these women are
• 49:21
  not penalized for this. And this is the part that upsets me. Jewel
• 49:27
  says, she said, that's b s. So you're lied to get support
• 49:31
  even with them knowing this was a was all alive, and you want thirty
• 49:35
  thousand dollars from this man and she will only get a small portion of that.
• 49:37
  This just pissed me. Clean off, and it does. But this
• 49:42
  is what they do. These women go down there or the man was never
• 49:46
  active in a child's life, they put the man name on a birth certificate
• 49:51
  without a paternity test, and a man is automatically ordered to pay child support.
• 49:53
  Fall up, Wait, wait, wait, let's get some DNA established.
• 50:00
  Let's get Dana around here. Let Dana tell me that I have to
• 50:06
  take care of this shop because you're not just gonna put a child on me
• 50:08
  if I don't know that the shold if the show belongs to me or not.
• 50:13
  And that's what the state is doing. This is what the system is
• 50:15
  doing to these men. I was reading one and ten. One out of
• 50:21
  every ten woman woman, one in ten women does not know who the father
• 50:25
  of their child is. One in ten women, one in ten. One
• 50:37
  in ten women do not know who their children father is, their child or
• 50:44
  their children's father. Malcolm says, it's a very sad situation that these men
• 50:50
  are going through their issues when they have no parts of these children's lives.
• 50:53
  Right. Jule says she needs to be locked the fuck up, and she
• 50:58
  does. But again, in paternity fraud is not a crime, but that
• 51:06
  goes into should women go to jail for paternity fraud. I'm gonna be honest
• 51:12
  with you, absolutely, because not only have you scammed the man, but
• 51:16
  you've scammed the system. Isn't that federal? In that a federal offense by
• 51:24
  scamming government agencies like lying to get food stamps or lying to get you know,
• 51:32
  any type of government assistance, whether it's food stamps, whether it's tannif,
• 51:36
  whether it's medicaid anything. I think women should go to jail for paternity
• 51:42
  fraud because again, we're seeing this far too often. I pulled another video.
• 51:54
  Let me just say, y'all brace yourself for this, but I want
• 51:59
  to talk a little bit more before I even jump into the video. But
• 52:01
  back to what I was saying, should women go to jail fraternity fraud?
• 52:05
  Absolutely? Because I think to me, you scammed you, You scammed the
• 52:09
  system, You scammed the government for assistance by knowingly and intentionally putting a man's
• 52:17
  name down that you know it's not your bid, is not the father biological
• 52:22
  father of your child or your children. You've knowingly done this, so you've
• 52:27
  knowingly committed a crime intentionally for the better for the betterment of you. So
• 52:34
  why is there not a crime. Why are they not making these women pay
• 52:37
  back these benefits that they got for lying. But I can tell you one
• 52:45
  state that has passed the law for paternity fraud, and that's Tennessee, and
• 52:55
  that is House Bill two six eight nine. I believe two six eight nine.
• 53:05
  There you're going. And that bill was passed March of twenty twenty two
• 53:13
  or March twenty twenty three, but I know it was up on the table,
• 53:15
  but it's been passed. That House bill has been passed in Tennessee.
• 53:19
  That it's seen before a father, an unmarried father, signs a birth certificate,
• 53:25
  paternity test is required. Hello, paternity test is required unmarried. Hell
• 53:40
  you know what, let me say, I think that should go for married
• 53:44
  people because I know married couples right now, women married have stepped outside of
• 53:49
  their marriage, have had children with other men. And all the while,
• 53:52
  you got this man, your husband, believing that these are his biological children
• 53:55
  and they're not. Everybody saw the movie The The Family that Praised. Everybody
• 54:04
  saw that movie, and you saw what she did. You had this man
• 54:07
  believing all these many years that this was his son, when really that was
• 54:14
  that was your side pieces shop, and no wonder you got slapped across that
• 54:20
  counter for that, because it was almost, yeah, this is not your
• 54:27
  baby. I would have slapped you across that counter too if I was a
• 54:31
  man, because you let that man believe that that was his son or his
• 54:38
  daughter. And you don't care. Y'all don't care. You don't feel like
• 54:45
  you've done anything wrong. You don't feel like you should be held accountable.
• 54:47
  But I feel like you do. I feel like you should pay some type
• 54:51
  of restitution. I feel like you should go to jail for one hundred and
• 54:52
  eighty days. And you need to think about that, because that's unfair.
• 55:01
  That's absolutely unfair to the child because you're using, like Tashina says, you're
• 55:07
  using your child as a pond in a game, in a cat and mouse
• 55:12
  game that you're playing with this man. For what. And then you wonder
• 55:16
  why, y'all, and then you mothers were wonder why you end up in
• 55:20
  nursing homes. It's for the foolishness that you do. It's for the foolery
• 55:27
  that you do, It's for the mockery and the fuckery that you guys keep
• 55:30
  up all by. You could have just ended this by just telling the truth.
• 55:37
  I understand you wanted Rickett to be your baby daddy. I get it,
• 55:42
  but unfortunately Darnell is the daddy. But you knew the risk. You
• 55:47
  knew the chances of sleeping with two two men at the same time. You
• 55:51
  knew this, or three men, or five men or ten men having mint
• 55:55
  hawving many it was you slept slept with a round the time that you got
• 55:59
  pray. You knew this. You knew the risk. But why should the
• 56:07
  child pay for your mistakes? That's the part that hurts me and the saddest
• 56:15
  part of all of this. Did you got people that cold signed for this?
• 56:20
  You got family members that appalled you in your buffoonery that know this and
• 56:25
  walk around and carry your secret, or because you're afraid of what the child
• 56:34
  is gonna say, how the reaction is gonna be. Did you think about
• 56:38
  that when you laid down with that man. Did you think about that as
• 56:43
  you carry that child? Did you think about that after you gave birth to
• 56:45
  the child, and you still carry it on and continue with this lie and
• 56:51
  then you find out that this then your child finds out because your child is
• 56:57
  sick, your child needs needs a blood transfusion and needs some type of transplant.
• 57:04
  Then you have to tell your child. Then then what then? What
• 57:16
  then? What are you left to do? What are you left to say?
• 57:22
  It's sad to me because these children are so innocent, These children don't
• 57:29
  ask to come here. Tashina says, DNAs will save my husband from this
• 57:35
  trap. His extra that if his sister didn't have him do a test,
• 57:37
  he would have gotten caught up. She told him her daughter was his,
• 57:42
  knowing he wasn't. And that's what I'm talking about. This is what I
• 57:45
  this right here, what you just said, Toshina, This right here,
• 57:47
  this comment right here, it is what gets men caught up. This right
• 57:53
  here, These women that want to play these these little cat and mouse games.
• 58:02
  You're lying, you're scamming because you're trying to get assistant. So let
• 58:06
  me go put this man's name down here and say he's the daddy. Let
• 58:09
  me just put let me just google somebody's name and put this man like the
• 58:13
  first man, he didn't even know the woman. But then he gets a
• 58:20
  wage garnishment sent to his place of employment that he's got to pay child support
• 58:29
  for a child that don't even belong to him with a woman that he doesn't
• 58:32
  even know. Jewel says, yes, she should. They lock that man
• 58:40
  up for non payment. I say, what's good for the boots, It
• 58:44
  is good for the game. The lock her ass up, and they should
• 58:46
  because again, isn't that like a federal crime Again, I'm going back,
• 58:52
  because you're scamming the system for support by fraudently putting a man's name down there
• 59:04
  that you know is not the father of your child. And it's just it
• 59:09
  just it does something to my spirit because women are okay with this. This
• 59:17
  continuously happens again. One out of every ten woman doesn't know who their child
• 59:23
  belongs to. Thirty percent of DNA tests come out negative, thirty percent,
• 59:34
  thirty percent, Soshina says. They use their love and affection for the child
• 59:39
  and their name and status to get assistance. That's wild to me. This
• 59:43
  definitely should be a crime. Well again, in the state of Tennessee it
• 59:46
  is now. They passed that House bill that unmarried fathers have to take a
• 59:57
  paternity test before they signed the birth certificate. And the saddest part guess who
• 1:00:02
  gave him the pushback? The Department of Health and Human Services gave them the
• 1:00:09
  pushback with regards to this bill, Are you serious? Department of Child and
• 1:00:22
  Family Services gave them pushback. So y'all don't feel like the man should know
• 1:00:32
  if this is biologically his child or not. You don't feel like the child
• 1:00:37
  should know that this is their biological father. That makes zero sense to me.
• 1:00:46
  And I'm gonna tell you why it makes zero sense to me, because
• 1:00:52
  this is what happens with situations like this. Explain how you found out who
• 1:01:02
  your father was. Uh. I think everybody know that has read the book,
• 1:01:06
  and for the ones that don't know, I mean, he stayed right
• 1:01:09
  across the street. Obviously was one of those, uh those relationships that you
• 1:01:14
  know he had outside of his marriage, and obviously he had me and I
• 1:01:19
  didn't know, and I guess they was trying to keep it quiet, you
• 1:01:22
  know, for a period of time till you your mother and your grandmother didn't
• 1:01:25
  tell you this. No. No, So I I I didn't know who
• 1:01:29
  my dad was. And I have a uh I have two other sisters,
• 1:01:31
  and the older of the two sisters, you know, I thought her dad
• 1:01:36
  was my dad, and so it wasn't until like I said, we all
• 1:01:37
  it was a small town. So I stayed right across the street. I
• 1:01:40
  stayed with my grandmother. So my dad lived across the street and my mom
• 1:01:45
  stayed you know, elsewhere, and you know, just like all kids played
• 1:01:51
  in the neighborhood. You know, as a teenage boy started liking one of
• 1:01:52
  the girls in the neighborhood and he caught, you know, wind of that,
• 1:01:59
  and and and heard that I was liking my sister. And again he
• 1:02:02
  felt to need he had to tell me, you know that, you know,
• 1:02:05
  the girl that you're in fact liking, that's your sister. So you
• 1:02:07
  know, can't go down that road. How old were you, uh,
• 1:02:13
  I think I was around like ten eleven. I wasn't even a teenager yet.
• 1:02:15
  How close were you and your father now? I mean we're we're not
• 1:02:21
  as close, but I mean, you know, if there's a need to
• 1:02:23
  communicate, you know, we do, but I mean not as close as
• 1:02:29
  a father and son I would say should be. But considering you know,
• 1:02:36
  the inactivity of us and him being involved in my life, I mean,
• 1:02:39
  you can't really expect more than what it is right now. How do you
• 1:02:43
  think looking back that affected you growing up? You know it it has affected
• 1:02:47
  me growing up because I never had that that father figure in the household,
• 1:02:52
  you know, to you know, do things and with their sons as one
• 1:02:58
  would would do. So I mean I always, you know, had my
• 1:03:01
  mom or my grandmother. You know, I had an occasional uncle here and
• 1:03:07
  there, but you know, they were doing their own things, starting their
• 1:03:08
  own lives, had their own kids, and so uh, I wasn't you
• 1:03:13
  know, much of a priority or responsibility for them. So I also liked
• 1:03:17
  just just a loner in a sense. But you know, like I said,
• 1:03:22
  I had two two great individuals, and my mother and my grandmother that
• 1:03:29
  did a great job. And you touch on the some already, but like,
• 1:03:30
  like what about that situation do you thinks impacted you as a father?
• 1:03:38
  I think it's impacted me somewhat in a negative and a positive way. You
• 1:03:42
  know, I understand the negatives, and I think in order to correct those
• 1:03:45
  negatives, you know, I had to take it upon myself to to take
• 1:03:52
  more of a different or a proactive uh approach to to be in my kids'
• 1:03:57
  lives. And so again, you know, I'm not with any of the
• 1:04:00
  mothers, so it's hard to have that day to day uh interaction or contact,
• 1:04:05
  but I I tried, and I tend to when I have them make
• 1:04:10
  those moments count, you know, despite the lack of time that that I
• 1:04:15
  share, you know, with them, But when I'm with him, I
• 1:04:18
  try to make the most of it and make those those those moments last.
• 1:04:41
  And that's what I mean right there. That's another reason not knowing who your
• 1:04:48
  biological father is. How that affects you. You heard him say, my
• 1:04:55
  father lived right across the street. I was a product of outside relationship my
• 1:05:00
  father had with my mother. But my father lived across the street. And
• 1:05:05
  then the girl that I liked was my sister. Now do you see how
• 1:05:14
  that affects the child. We see these stories, y'all. Every day we're
• 1:05:21
  siblings end up married. Just not too long ago, I was reading about
• 1:05:30
  a married couple who found out that they were brother and sister. This is
• 1:05:38
  why this right here, what this is, How it affects not knowing who
• 1:05:45
  your biological father is. That's the question. How does not knowing your biological
• 1:05:50
  father affects a child or the children? That video just pointed it out to
• 1:05:57
  you. Terrell Owens did not have a good relationship. He was not active
• 1:06:06
  in his children's lives. I remember when he was on Doctor phil and he
• 1:06:11
  talked about that this is the damage that the lives due to children. Not
• 1:06:21
  only do you have to worry about that, but you did. Now you
• 1:06:24
  got to worry about these children who don't know their siblings end up together.
• 1:06:32
  Terrell Owens just said it hisself. He was like ten or eleven years old
• 1:06:36
  when he found out who was who his biological father was, and then the
• 1:06:39
  girl that he liked was his sister. You women, this is what y'all
• 1:06:50
  do. This, This is this, This is what you create. Mom,
• 1:06:58
  y'all need to take accountability for that. That's the type. This is
• 1:07:03
  like I said, how does not knowing your biological affect the children? We
• 1:07:06
  just told you, We just said it. He didn't have a he didn't
• 1:07:15
  have a positive royal model of a male father figure in his life. And
• 1:07:18
  the daddy lived right across the street, and the mamma knew about it,
• 1:07:25
  and the grandmother knew about it. He was like ten to eleven years old
• 1:07:30
  when you finally told it. At some point his father needs to take accountablity.
• 1:07:38
  And mamma, you need to take accountability because you carried on a relationship
• 1:07:43
  with a married man. Yes, the man knew he was married, but
• 1:07:46
  but we as women, y'all we have the right to cut it off.
• 1:07:51
  We have the right to end it, not continue with because then children come
• 1:07:56
  in to plea and then the children are left to carry a brunt of the
• 1:08:00
  bullshit of a situation that you and this man have created together. And then
• 1:08:04
  you're lie. You don't want anyone to know you withhold this information. And
• 1:08:12
  then we end up with situations where the brother and sister end up in a
• 1:08:15
  relationship, or cousins end up married, end up having babies, all types
• 1:08:19
  of stuff, And then what how do you come back from that? Do
• 1:08:27
  you? How do you recover from that? So Jewel says, because they
• 1:08:33
  get a cut. She's going back to my previous statement. She says,
• 1:08:36
  because they get a cut of the money. They don't care about the truths.
• 1:08:39
  They only care about the pieces of money the state gets out of that
• 1:08:43
  payment. Absolute. So again, anybody could run down there and put somebody
• 1:08:49
  name on a birth certificate and you get assistance. Y'all don't even check.
• 1:08:57
  Y'all don't even check. And that's the part that that hurts and upsets me
• 1:09:02
  is again y'all pennies children on these men. The children are left ahold the
• 1:09:10
  bag of the pain and Mama has nothing to say for it other than I
• 1:09:15
  don't know how this this is, This can't be right. Yeah, it's
• 1:09:19
  right. Have we had some cases where Dana was wrong. Yeah. Have
• 1:09:30
  we had situations where Mama knew or the man knew, but he's still stuck
• 1:09:38
  around for the sake of the child. Yeah, we get a lot of
• 1:09:41
  situations like that. But tell the child up front, give the child that
• 1:09:46
  choice to the side and say I still want to be or I don't you
• 1:09:54
  know, I still want to be active, an active participant in a child's
• 1:09:57
  life. Stop forcing these men to do it. But that's appears to be
• 1:10:03
  what the system is doing. Like Jules says, they don't care. All
• 1:10:09
  they care about is the money. And you can't put a price tag on
• 1:10:15
  pain. You can't do that because that that hurts the child, That devastates
• 1:10:23
  the child. Now you have a child that's lost, that doesn't know if
• 1:10:29
  they're coming to going, doesn't know who to believe, doesn't know what to
• 1:10:32
  believe, and are left still trying to figure out their identity. Who am
• 1:10:39
  I, where did I come from? And Mama would tell it for her
• 1:10:46
  own selfish reasons. Maybe you'll did it to protect a child. Maybe you
• 1:10:53
  wouln't an abusively. I don't know, but you as some women that do
• 1:10:57
  this out of spite and there's there's no recourse for it. They're not reprimanded
• 1:11:04
  in any kind of way. So again that goes back to my question.
• 1:11:10
  Should women go to jail for paternity fraud? Yes, yes they should.
• 1:11:18
  I feel like you should pay that restitution back for every time that that man
• 1:11:23
  has spent on that child up until he finds out that the child is his
• 1:11:28
  or not. I feel like women, you need to be held liable for
• 1:11:30
  that, I really do. I feel like you should give that man every
• 1:11:34
  time that he has spent on that child from the beginning. I feel like
• 1:11:40
  a wage garnishment should be sent to your job, your place of employment.
• 1:11:45
  I feel like you need to be arrested and you need to be taking a
• 1:11:49
  jail and you need to sit in jail for one hundred and eighty days or
• 1:11:54
  maybe even a year. I don't know, but I absolutely do agree that
• 1:11:59
  women need to go to ye opportunity fraud because again, we see this all
• 1:12:03
  far too often. We see these women that lie for their own selfish reasons,
• 1:12:11
  and then what about the child? What happens to the child. Can
• 1:12:20
  we start thinking about the children and their feelings first before we think about ours,
• 1:12:24
  Because I always thought that when you had a child, to stop being
• 1:12:28
  about you, it started being about the about the child. But this upsets
• 1:12:34
  me every time I come across stories like this where women are defrauding the system.
• 1:12:41
  There you go, that's the word I was looking for. Defrauding the
• 1:12:43
  system for their own personal gain and using the children as a pond, like
• 1:12:50
  like Tahina says, to get what it is that you want, and nothing
• 1:12:56
  happens to you, Nothing happens to you. And I think that's very disheartening,
• 1:13:10
  not only for the man, but the child because at this point I'm
• 1:13:15
  only I'm concerned with the child with the baby, because they're innocent in all
• 1:13:18
  of this. These children don't ask to come here. These children are forced
• 1:13:23
  into situations that they're not asked to be put in. But your mothers don't
• 1:13:27
  stop to think about that. You think that, well, if I don't
• 1:13:32
  tell him that this is his, you know, my child will love me
• 1:13:34
  even more. I just don't want. If you'll tell your child the truth,
• 1:13:41
  maybe you wouldn't have to worry about the child loving you less be honest
• 1:13:47
  because those lies break up homes. We look at the first story I presented
• 1:13:53
  to you, What if that man didn't have a strong wife or strong background
• 1:14:00
  that knew her husband's character, said, I knew, And then men are
• 1:14:08
  left out here in the cold, while women going about their married little lives
• 1:14:14
  with the little lies that they've told. Because you do realize when you tell
• 1:14:17
  one lie, you have to tell another lie to call up that first lie,
• 1:14:20
  and you have to consistently keep on lying and lying and lying. This
• 1:14:24
  is what you can have to keep doing when you could just end all of
• 1:14:28
  that by just telling the truth in the beginning. I get it. Maybe
• 1:14:34
  you're trying to protect a child from an abusive husband, abusive boyfriend. I
• 1:14:41
  don't know, but you have some women that are just doing it for their
• 1:14:45
  own selfish needs. Also, she could get some assistance. I had to
• 1:14:53
  put somebody name down, so I'm gonna put his name down. But that's
• 1:14:56
  not the daddy. So why would you do that, Because that's gonna affect
• 1:15:00
  him in the long run, because he's caring for a child that doesn't even
• 1:15:06
  belong to him, and he's forced because the system makes him do it.
• 1:15:12
  And there's no request for you for your lives. Tell me how to math
• 1:15:19
  is math, because it's really not so again on my stance, so I
• 1:15:29
  feel like women should go to jail maternity fraud. Absolutely, block our ass
• 1:15:32
  up, lock up and make up a restitution, and then the man should
• 1:15:40
  go right behind that and follow a civil suit and get all your money back.
• 1:15:45
  And sometimes they really don't even be about the money. It'd be the
• 1:15:46
  principle. It's the fact that you had me thinking all these years that this
• 1:15:53
  was my death, this was my child or my children, and it really
• 1:15:57
  wasn't. We see this all the time. And I'm gonna say this to
• 1:16:03
  all you men, if you are in a situation or have experienced a situation
• 1:16:10
  like this, take her ass the court, take her the civil court,
• 1:16:13
  and get your money back because she lied. Unfortunately, you cannot criminally penalize
• 1:16:24
  her, but I think civilly you should. And I know sometimes it don't
• 1:16:28
  even be about the money, but it should be on the principle. It
• 1:16:30
  should be on the fact that you lied to me, that you told me
• 1:16:33
  that this was my child or your tolmit these or my children, and you
• 1:16:36
  knowingly knew that these were not my children, or this was not my child.
• 1:16:41
  You knowringly did this. You defrauded me, You want to defrauded the
• 1:16:44
  system, so absolutely lock the ass up. They if when you read those
• 1:16:51
  forms, when you're applying for food stamps, when you're applying for any type
• 1:16:56
  of medical assistance, or you're applying for tan, if it tells you if
• 1:16:59
  you knowingly fraud the system, it could be punished by by what up to
• 1:17:02
  five years in prison and what are ten thousand dollars fine? I think you
• 1:17:05
  need to penalize those women for knowingly and intentionally going down to the court house
• 1:17:11
  or to these health and human services departments and intentionally putting a person's name on
• 1:17:17
  the birth certificate that you know is not the father of your child or your
• 1:17:19
  children, just for your personal game. Lock'em up. I absolutely wholeheartedly
• 1:17:27
  agree. Unfortunately, some women may not even agree with me, but those
• 1:17:31
  are the ones that would do this type of ship. The women that don't
• 1:17:35
  agree, y'all, are the type of women that would lie and defraud and
• 1:17:41
  scam the government for your own personal frame game, y'all, are the ones
• 1:17:45
  that will intentionally put a child on a man and you know if that's not
• 1:17:50
  his child or history. We see these women that go on these paternity shows
• 1:17:55
  Maury Povich Fraternity Court with Judge Lauren Lake. We see this all the time,
• 1:17:59
  and they sit up there. I'm adamant. I know he's the father
• 1:18:01
  of my child. I know that there's no way possible. I didn't sleep
• 1:18:04
  with anyone else. Until that DNA comes out and says he's not the father.
• 1:18:08
  Then what so you got so you got pregnant by immaculate conception, You
• 1:18:15
  had a baby with Jesus Jerome Jackson. No, you did. Just go
• 1:18:21
  ahead and sit out there and say, you know what I did. I
• 1:18:25
  slept with another man, or I slept with two different men, or I
• 1:18:28
  slept with five different men around the time that I concede. Concede. Then
• 1:18:30
  it's the possibility you may or may not be the father. Give them that
• 1:18:34
  opportunity to stick around or lead. Stop forcing these men into situations that they're
• 1:18:41
  not asked to be put into. Because I see you women at do it.
• 1:18:46
  You'a enforcement and push their backs against the wall. So it's like you're
• 1:18:50
  conning them into being fathers of children that don't biologically be long to them.
• 1:18:56
  Stop doing that. Let him make the decision and let him decide and say,
• 1:19:00
  you know what, I want to be a part of this child's life.
• 1:19:02
  I know biologically the child is not mine, but I love this child.
• 1:19:06
  I've grown and I have a bond with this child. You let the
• 1:19:10
  man decide. Stop forcing the men to take care of our children that do
• 1:19:15
  not biologically belong to them. If they say they don't want to do it,
• 1:19:20
  stop forcing them to do it. Stop going down there getting public assistance
• 1:19:26
  and lying and just putting any random man's name down on the list for your
• 1:19:30
  own person again. And I'm gonna say that again, because we see this
• 1:19:35
  all the time. We see these children that are hurt. Malcolm says one
• 1:19:44
  hundred. We see this. We see this all the time. These women
• 1:19:49
  you're lying what and these children are left to pay? These children are the
• 1:20:01
  remnants of your past. That's why in my situation, I let it be
• 1:20:11
  known early when I was still pregnant, baby in the womb. When I
• 1:20:15
  found out I was pregnant, I immediately, hey, it's a possibility you
• 1:20:19
  could be the father. It's a possibility this person could be the father.
• 1:20:24
  It wasn't five different people. I didn't wait until my son was ten years
• 1:20:28
  old. I didn't wait until my child I was fifteen years old. I
• 1:20:30
  found out when my baby was like six months old, took the DNA test.
• 1:20:38
  I wanted to know my child deserved to know. My child had the
• 1:20:42
  right to know. And I think that's where a lot of you women dropped.
• 1:20:48
  It's so selfishly think about you and you don't think about the child.
• 1:20:54
  But at the end of the day, it's not even about you. It's
• 1:20:56
  about the best interests of the child. Be honest, tell the truth,
• 1:21:01
  stop lying, because this is what we're seeing more and more every day.
• 1:21:12
  But we also see this too, women not telling your child who their father
• 1:21:21
  is. You create households just like this. And what did you say to
• 1:21:28
  yourself when you were out there playing then there was nobody there to watch you,
• 1:21:30
  cheer you on, to be proud of you when you did well or
• 1:21:32
  tried hard. It never really dawned on me when it dawned on you,
• 1:21:38
  what'd you think? Oh? It made me say it, you know,
• 1:21:41
  to a point that I realized, Yeah, I didn't have a dad for
• 1:21:44
  the majority of my life. And again, anybody that has followed my career,
• 1:21:48
  they knew that. You know, I didn't know who my dad was
• 1:21:50
  till I was like like ten or twelve, and surprisingly as it may seem,
• 1:21:57
  he lived right across the street from me. So but at that point
• 1:22:00
  you realize that there was a void in your life. Yes, and that's
• 1:22:05
  a void that it will be in each of these children and your other child's
• 1:22:11
  life unless you decide to put this on project status right. And I'm one
• 1:22:18
  of those people that believe that the father has a critical role for male children
• 1:22:25
  and female children. Boys and girls, they've got a critical role for each.
• 1:22:28
  For the boys, you're the most powerful role model that your son will
• 1:22:31
  ever have. He will look at what you do, he will listen to
• 1:22:34
  what you say, he will emulate things about you. You have the ability
• 1:22:39
  to be a tremendously powerful role model in that young man's life. For your
• 1:22:44
  daughters, I can tell you that the more removed you are from them,
• 1:22:49
  the more vulnerable they are to get picked off by some guy taking advantage of
• 1:22:55
  them. If dad's there that says you are special, you are a princess.
• 1:23:00
  Love yourself, value yourself, care for yourself, protect yourself, and
• 1:23:05
  I love you unconditionally. Then when some old boy comes along and says,
• 1:23:10
  hey, I love you, so come over here with me and let me
• 1:23:13
  use and abuse your body. I say, wait a minute, I don't
• 1:23:15
  need that from you. I got that from my daddy. My daddy loves
• 1:23:19
  me, he values me, He's taught me to love myself. They're not
• 1:23:23
  going to be picked off by some guy. Those are messages that whether you
• 1:23:29
  feel they're received well or not, they need to hear. They need to
• 1:23:32
  get that from you. Do you agree with what I'm saying. I totally
• 1:23:38
  agree because the first love that I had in my life or men was my
• 1:23:43
  father. That's the very first love that I have. And she can't get
• 1:23:48
  that from my dad. She can't get that from my brother. She needs
• 1:23:54
  to get that from you. And whether you like her or not, she's
• 1:24:00
  speaking the truth as a daughter. You question her motives, you question everything
• 1:24:05
  else. But she's speaking the truth as a daughter. And that's what I
• 1:24:10
  want you to think about. Because you have an opportunity, because it's not
• 1:24:16
  too late, you have an opportunity to say, look, these kids are
• 1:24:21
  not going to get caught up in the middle of this. And I'm going
• 1:24:24
  to tell the three of you something. If you do anything aggressively or passive
• 1:24:30
  aggressively, or just whatever to block his relationship with his children. And you
• 1:24:40
  think, hey, I can do it because I've got control of him there
• 1:24:45
  with me, and I can say and do or keep away whatever. Trust
• 1:24:48
  me, the day will come that that will bite you in an ugly,
• 1:24:54
  ugly way. Yes, because the day will come where these kids get smart,
• 1:24:58
  they figure it out and they say, you know, my daddy wasn't
• 1:25:01
  in my life and he could have done a better job, but my mother,
• 1:25:06
  she sure made it an uphill battle and I resent her for that.
• 1:25:11
  If you do that, they will perceive that they will pick that up.
• 1:25:15
  So you don't want to do that. And all of you guys need to
• 1:25:19
  sit out. And whatever the math is or isn't, I mean, you
• 1:25:24
  can't get blood out of a turnip. If he doesn't have the money,
• 1:25:26
  things are going to change. If he does, they won't at some point.
• 1:25:30
  But aside from the money, aside from the math, you guys need
• 1:25:34
  to stop these hostilities because it's your child that's picking up the tab. And
• 1:25:45
  that's exactly why I play the video because this is what happens. The children
• 1:25:54
  are left to pick up the bait. And although I don't like or agree
• 1:25:59
  with a lot of things that doctor Phil says. I had to agree with
• 1:26:01
  him on that because mothers. You mothers, you make it difficult for fathers
• 1:26:08
  that have relationships with their children, and you have to stop doing that,
• 1:26:15
  regardless of what happened with now. I will say this before I even go
• 1:26:19
  back into my comment that I was about to meet. The only way I
• 1:26:24
  uphold you from keeping the child away from the father or the children away from
• 1:26:28
  the father is if the man is abusive to you and has been abusive to
• 1:26:32
  you or to the children. That's the only way I will call sign.
• 1:26:36
  But if that man is actively trying to have a relationship with his children,
• 1:26:41
  move out of the way, because it's not about you. You women are
• 1:26:47
  so bitter and you are so selfish that you only think about you and you
• 1:26:53
  don't think about your children. You play these cat and mouse games you play
• 1:27:00
  with your children. You utilize these children as pawns in a game for your
• 1:27:06
  own personal game, And I think it's sickening to me. That goes back
• 1:27:14
  to the lives that you tell your children, because when you do sit,
• 1:27:20
  when you do things like that, it leads to situations like this. Terrell
• 1:27:25
  Owens just openly admitted and set the void that I had by my father not
• 1:27:31
  being in my life has created a void in my children's lives. That's what
• 1:27:36
  I mean when I say we have to stop cutting ourselves and bleeding on the
• 1:27:41
  children, because the children do not ask to come here. That's first and
• 1:27:45
  foremost. You women need to put your selfishness to the side and put your
• 1:27:53
  children first. I'm holding you women accountable for the foolery that you guys do
• 1:28:02
  to these men and to the children. See you create this this this this
• 1:28:09
  foundation that's built on lies. And guess what, every lie that you tell
• 1:28:16
  it just builds and builds and builds and builds and builds. And then when
• 1:28:21
  it all topples down because the foundation is shaky anyway, it's only you to
• 1:28:29
  blame. Stop forcing men into situations they don't ask to be. Stop cutting
• 1:28:42
  yourself and bleeding on your children because of your lives and your deception. We
• 1:28:48
  see this far too often and again. The only person that gets hurt in
• 1:28:55
  the midst of this game is the child or the children. And you must
• 1:29:00
  can't even answer that. You can't even give you a child? Why why
• 1:29:05
  did you? I don't know, I just that's not a good enough reason.
• 1:29:15
  You need to sit down, and I'm saying this to you mothers.
• 1:29:20
  Sit down and you need to start being open and honest with your children.
• 1:29:26
  Start telling them, the children the truth, no matter how painful it is,
• 1:29:30
  because if you're telling me, I will respect you more with the ugly
• 1:29:34
  truth then a pretty lie. I would respect you more if you gave me
• 1:29:43
  the ugly truth and not a pretty lie instead of dressing up the lie with
• 1:29:45
  a bowl and a ribbon and cake and candles. I'm gonna respect you more
• 1:29:51
  with the with the ugly lie than a beautiful truth. I'm so sorry the
• 1:29:56
  ugly truth and a beautiful lie. But two women do this every day.
• 1:30:09
  Every day. You do this every day, and because of that, I
• 1:30:18
  feel this weight. Should paternity tests be mandatory? Yes, boyfriend, girlfriend,
• 1:30:29
  husband, wife? Absolutely. I feel like the moment that baby is
• 1:30:36
  pulled out, in the moment that baby let out that first cry, y'all
• 1:30:40
  need to be in that baby mouth for the Q two because this needs to
• 1:30:45
  be nipped at at the in the bud at the gate. This doesn't need
• 1:30:49
  to be carried on for two years, five years, ten years, thirty
• 1:30:53
  years, fifty years. This needs to be nailed shut from the gate.
• 1:31:00
  I feel like the moment that baby opened his mouth and cry, y'all need
• 1:31:04
  to be running in that swabbing that baby mouth, and that man need to
• 1:31:06
  be in there, y'all need to be swabbing his mouth. DNA tests need
• 1:31:10
  to be done right there at the day of birth. Hell, even if
• 1:31:15
  it's the next day. But I feel like before that baby leaves the hospital
• 1:31:17
  for turn, the tests needs to be done. And I stand behind that
• 1:31:24
  because we want and I'm gonna tell you why I stand behind that, because
• 1:31:29
  there are too many men out here that are being manipulated and connived because of
• 1:31:39
  a lie. As soon as that baby's mouth opens, as soon as that
• 1:31:45
  baby stay when I need the queue tip in the baby's mouth. I need
• 1:31:49
  the dad and mouth swab, and I need that sent down to the lab.
• 1:31:55
  But before that child needs leaves the hospital for turn, the tests needs
• 1:31:59
  to be at Man the third. I don't give it, fellas, Get
• 1:32:04
  you an attorney and you get that order that before the baby leaves, we
• 1:32:11
  need to paternity tests. Get you an attorney. I'm giving you men the
• 1:32:16
  game to what we women do. We lie to y'all, We manipulate,
• 1:32:25
  We gas like for the sake of our own good, and we don't think
• 1:32:30
  about anybody else as long as it makes us happy. We don't give a
• 1:32:34
  damn who it hurts along the way. We don't care. And that's a
• 1:32:42
  sad, sad way to think. And this is the Order generation. You
• 1:32:45
  got the new generation that's doing that too, but you have the Order generation.
• 1:32:53
  So do I feel like attorney tests should be mandatory? Absolutely? Soashina
• 1:33:00
  says, first out the womb DNA should be mandated, and it should.
• 1:33:03
  I mean the moment that baby has first. I mean, before you put
• 1:33:08
  the titty in that baby mouth, or you put the bottle in the baby
• 1:33:11
  mouth, or the pat whatever it is you put in that baby mouth,
• 1:33:13
  that Q tip needs to go in there first. Because I'm sick of y'all.
• 1:33:18
  I'm sick of y'all defrauding the government, and I'm sick of y'all defrauding
• 1:33:25
  these men. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of y'all waiting twenty years,
• 1:33:33
  thirty years, fifty years. Some people are are passing away with these
• 1:33:39
  secrets and then the children are left with unanswered questions. But y'all don't care
• 1:33:51
  as long as they benefits you, that's all that matters. Y'all don't care
• 1:33:55
  who you hurt. Y'all, women don't care who you step on along the
• 1:33:58
  way, as long it doesn't affect you. But then you got the men
• 1:34:05
  that want to do and y'all make it difficult because you're mad. So Shena
• 1:34:16
  says, they also need to get their children legitimized as well. Many don't
• 1:34:20
  know that doing this will give the man a leg up when it comes to
• 1:34:25
  custody and child support. Absolutely absolutely, because as long as we make fraternity
• 1:34:39
  tests mandatory, maybe this a crotel. Some of these broken homes that are
• 1:34:44
  created by these men who have a void, who have this this whole in
• 1:34:49
  their lives and they can't even reproductive to their own children. And I won't
• 1:34:57
  say all men, because you do have some and that didn't have their fathers
• 1:35:00
  in their lives that grew up and became wonderful fathers. But then you have
• 1:35:06
  some that didn't turn out to be quite good fathers. But this is what
• 1:35:14
  we go through. This is what men deal with on a day to day
• 1:35:17
  basis. This is what they deal with. So Shena says, to the
• 1:35:27
  fellas, stop letting these women, get over on. You all gain your
• 1:35:30
  peace by breaking these generational curses. Absolutely, get those get those damn paternity
• 1:35:36
  tests. If you need me to go down there with you, baby,
• 1:35:40
  let's go down there, because you know what, I don't want you to
• 1:35:43
  be another man in any one of those stories that we've talked about tonight.
• 1:35:50
  I don't want to see another black man go to jail or child support or
• 1:35:56
  a child that he's not financially responsible to take care of. That's what I
• 1:36:02
  want. I want children to be able to grow up knowing who their fathers
• 1:36:13
  are. Moms, I want you to put your pride to the side and
• 1:36:21
  own that, take accountability for that, and say, you know what,
• 1:36:27
  I messed up. I messed up. But let me make this right.
• 1:36:35
  Let me make this right, not for me, but for my child.
• 1:36:39
  My child deserves the truth. My baby deserves to know my secrets. I
• 1:36:51
  know it's painful because you don't know what's gonna come about with you revealing the
• 1:36:59
  secret, But again, I would rather you kill me with the ugly truth
• 1:37:05
  than to present me a pretty lie. You'll never know what what what may
• 1:37:13
  have that may change the perception in the relationship with the mother and the child
• 1:37:18
  or the children. Maybe if you sit down but be honest with them,
• 1:37:24
  don't lie, because unfortunately, in Kirk Franklin situation, his mother didn't want
• 1:37:30
  to take accountability for it. She just still kept saying, this is not
• 1:37:40
  your father, this is not your father. I don't know how. Yeah,
• 1:37:42
  you know, but that was her having to deal with the truth.
• 1:37:49
  And a lot of y'all can't handle the truth. A lot of y'all aren't
• 1:37:56
  ready to put that on the forefront. A lot of y'all are not ready
• 1:38:00
  to take accountability for the things that you've done. But I would respect you
• 1:38:06
  more. The child or the children will respect you more as long as you're
• 1:38:11
  honest. Give that child the option to decide if they want to have a
• 1:38:15
  relationship with the biological father or not. You just don't know. You just
• 1:38:21
  don't know. You never know what the outcome is gonna be. But again,
• 1:38:29
  and I'm gonna say this one more time, stop cutting yourself and bleeding
• 1:38:33
  on your children. Because situations like this, and this is why I wholeheartedly
• 1:38:44
  believe fraternity tests should be mandatory. Can we talk about the DNA testing center.
• 1:38:48
  I've had it. I had two guys calling they work at DNA testing
• 1:38:51
  centers. One guy had to quit. One guy still works there. He
• 1:38:55
  told me, of the children are not the man's child, he said,
• 1:39:00
  forty percent, and it's usually, and it's two. It's two scenarios.
• 1:39:06
  It's where the woman that the person's getting a DNA test because the woman claims
• 1:39:10
  that is their child, turns out it's not. The other one is where
• 1:39:14
  the parent is on the deathbed and makes a confession, or they need a
• 1:39:17
  health they need a liver transplant, blood transfusion in the blood type. There's
• 1:39:21
  no way that that can actually be the father. So then they find out
• 1:39:26
  that because of medical reasons, you mean, that's not my father. Then
• 1:39:29
  the father finds out from that way. He said it took such a toll
• 1:39:32
  on him that he could no longer do it because he would be sitting on
• 1:39:36
  the phone counseling the men and the grown children who these women falsely exclusions.
• 1:39:46
  You'll see what I'm talking about. Forty percent of DNA tests come back negative.
• 1:40:00
  Forty percent. Should paternity tests be mandatory? I just gave y'all all
• 1:40:13
  the information forty percent. Imagine having to be on the other end of that
• 1:40:24
  call, of that phone and having to notify someone you're not the biological father
• 1:40:33
  of the child, of the children, like I stated early on, imagine
• 1:40:44
  finding out through a health crisis, forty percent of men are not the father
• 1:41:00
  of those child, of the child or those children. Yeah. So this
• 1:41:12
  is why I feel paternity tests need to be mandatory. You've got too many
• 1:41:20
  men that are sitting out here taking care of babies that don't even belong to
• 1:41:26
  them. Some of them stay, some of them go. I know,
• 1:41:31
  in my situation, when we found out that the guy that I was dating
• 1:41:38
  at the time wasn't the father of my son, he still wanted to be
• 1:41:44
  in the family, still wanted to be active in my son's life. But
• 1:41:47
  I said that wasn't fair to y'all. That was a wrong in a situation,
• 1:41:59
  Yes and no, because I didn't want them to look at my child
• 1:42:04
  as well, that's not really your child. So why you know what I'm
• 1:42:09
  saying? It was the what ifs? So I chose and said that wouldn't
• 1:42:15
  be fair to you to step in and take care of a child that you
• 1:42:20
  noringly know doesn't belong to you. Did I make the right decision or did
• 1:42:24
  I not? Some days I feel like I made the right decision. Some
• 1:42:31
  days I feel like I don't. Would my son have had a better life
• 1:42:34
  had I had chosen to allow the man that wasn't my son's biological father still
• 1:42:40
  be active in his life. Would things have changed after he, you know,
• 1:42:44
  got married, you know, if you know when he got married and
• 1:42:46
  had his own biological with that change. But I think in that moment,
• 1:42:55
  I was thinking in the best interest of my child, you know. But
• 1:42:59
  some day I wonder, even after we got the paternity test and we found
• 1:43:05
  out, was that the best decision for my son. I don't know who
• 1:43:18
  knows. I wondered my son I should have. Well, my son had
• 1:43:25
  the word tonight, So maybe I'm I'm gonna ask my son that tonight.
• 1:43:29
  I'm asking so to China says she mad about She mad about it her and
• 1:43:36
  not him. Made me angry. She told me it's a lot of her
• 1:43:40
  there, absolutely, And she said that's wow, wow thirty. So just
• 1:43:46
  imagine you having to sit on the other end of that line and tell a
• 1:43:54
  person this is not your biological biological child or your children, or finding out
• 1:44:05
  during a health crisis, or finding out on your deathbed that the man that
• 1:44:11
  you've been calling your father for twenty years, ten years, thirty years,
• 1:44:14
  fifty years, it's not really your biological father. And at all the while,
• 1:44:18
  your biological father has been living down the street from you, or you've
• 1:44:21
  been passing somebody this man every day for the last twenty thirty years of your
• 1:44:25
  life and you never knew that was your biological father. Very disheartening, very
• 1:44:38
  sad. But this is what happens. This is the harsh reality of skeletons
• 1:44:46
  coming out of the posy M what the seventh? Can we get a bill
• 1:45:03
  passed? I guess that's almost like me running in rolling into my final thought.
• 1:45:10
  But can we get a house bill passed like twenty six to eighty nine
• 1:45:18
  that Tennessee has passed that's stopping unmarried fathers from signing birth certificates without a paternity
• 1:45:28
  test. Will we see this trickle on? Will other states take this on
• 1:45:32
  as well? Will they adopt a bill similar to this? I hope so,
• 1:45:39
  because there are a lot of fatherless children out here, and your mothers
• 1:45:45
  need to take accountability for that. Your mothers need to own that. Your
• 1:45:49
  mothers need to address that and take ownership of that account. Hold yourself accountable
• 1:45:56
  for the lies, because again, when you tell one life, you gotta
• 1:46:02
  tell two or three more to come up. The first line. Who's left
• 1:46:10
  to hold the bag of pain? The children, the men that you purposely
• 1:46:16
  and selfishly lie it on. For you to intentionally go knowingly defraud the system
• 1:46:29
  for your own personal gain. I feel like you need to be locked up.
• 1:46:35
  You need to be penalized some kind of way, criminally, not just
• 1:46:39
  on the civil side, but on the criminal side. I feel like you
• 1:46:42
  should go to jail. Maybe that'll stop you. Maybe this will curtel and
• 1:46:51
  bring the percentage down of men not being fathers biologically your women. I'm gonna
• 1:47:06
  always hold you accountable, but I'm always do it through a channel of love.
• 1:47:15
  But I really want you women to stop and think about the children,
• 1:47:19
  the child or the children for a moment. I need you to put the
• 1:47:21
  child or the children first. That's what I need you to do, because
• 1:47:29
  they're the only ones. They end up. They are the only ones they
• 1:47:31
  end up heart wants to do sets and they're left holding the bag a pain
• 1:47:40
  that you created and you implement it on them. We gotta do better.
• 1:47:48
  Forty percent that's a lot of men. That's a lot of children not knowing
• 1:47:59
  who they're biological fathers off because you want to keep a secret. All I
• 1:48:06
  ask is that before you leave this earth, give your child or children the
• 1:48:11
  truth, no matter how much it hurts. They deserve to know. And
• 1:48:17
  I'm gonna end on that. I'm gonna end on that. Oooh, that
• 1:48:26
  was beautiful conversation, but a much needed, warranted conversation. But going into
• 1:48:33
  the upcoming episodes for a Black Girl interrupt it again. Y'all know I am
• 1:48:38
  live every Tuesday and every Wednesday eight thirty pm Central Time, nine thirty Eastern
• 1:48:42
  time. Tomorrow night, I will be bringing you the updates on the case
• 1:48:46
  of Tyree Nichols. For those that may not remember, back in January,
• 1:48:53
  I'm so sorry. January sixth of twenty twenty three, Tyree Nichols will stop
• 1:48:57
  and pulled over in Memphis, ten us See, and he was brutally beaten
• 1:49:00
  by five black police officers. And two days later, I want to say
• 1:49:06
  January the I want to say it happened on the fifth and they passed away
• 1:49:11
  on the seventh, or it happened on the sixth and they passed away on
• 1:49:13
  the eighth. But uh, there have been some updates with regards to the
• 1:49:17
  case, and I want to definitely keep you guys updated on that. So
• 1:49:20
  that will be tomorrow night's conversation and then again I will see you guys back
• 1:49:26
  next week. So again tomorrow night, I will be bringing you the update
• 1:49:30
  on Tyree Nipples on the case. I know the trial is uh. If
• 1:49:35
  I'm not mistaken, I believe it is slated to start in November. But
• 1:49:41
  I want again I'm gonna bring you the updates with regards to the Tyree Nichols
• 1:49:44
  case, and that is tomorrow night again eight thirty pm Central Time, nine
• 1:49:48
  thirty Eastern Time. Again you could catch me extream and live on Facebook as
• 1:49:54
  well as on YouTube. Also again affect November. I believe it's the first
• 1:50:02
  I need to go back, but the first Tuesday in November. Going forward,
• 1:50:06
  I will only stream live to YouTube and Facebook on Tuesdays. Wednesdays,
• 1:50:13
  I will be streaming on Instagram or TikTok. I'm trying to still decide between
• 1:50:18
  the two. Also, Black Girl Interrupt it presents the Black Carpet experience has
• 1:50:27
  actually been put to the side that will actually launch in January. So I
• 1:50:32
  had to put the finishing touches on that, so I couldn't roll it out
• 1:50:35
  this month like last month like I wanted to. Still had some final touches
• 1:50:41
  that loose ends that I had to put together, so the Black Carpet Experience
• 1:50:45
  will roll out after the first the first of the year, so I had
• 1:50:49
  to push it back. Unfortunately, I had to put that down on the
• 1:50:51
  back burner. But tomorrow I will bring y'all some great and exciting news after
• 1:50:59
  I present y'all the update on the Tyree Nichols case, because there are some
• 1:51:01
  beautiful things that are coming about for a Black Girl Interrupt the podcast that I
• 1:51:05
  cannot wait to share with you guys. But on that note, again,
• 1:51:11
  Black Girl Interrupted. You can catch me live every Tuesday, every Wednesday eight
• 1:51:15
  thirty pm Central Time nine thirty Eastern Time. Again until the end of October,
• 1:51:20
  I will be streaming on Facebook and YouTube live, but after next month
• 1:51:26
  on Wednesdays, I will only be on Instagram or TikTok. So if you
• 1:51:30
  don't follow me there, subscribe to my YouTube channel it is under black Girl
• 1:51:33
  Interrupted Podcast, or you can subscribe anywhere you listen to your podcast. Also,
• 1:51:40
  y'all, tonight's episode, I am asking y'all on Apple, Spotify,
• 1:51:45
  wherever you listen to your podcasts at. Please go and leave me a review
• 1:51:49
  on tonight's episode or any of the past episodes. Let me know what I
• 1:51:53
  could do better, what you liked about, to show what you didn't like
• 1:51:56
  about the show, anything, so I could make it better for the new
• 1:51:59
  year. But on that note, I love you guys again. Happy Tuesday.
• 1:52:02
  I hope everyone has a great and beautiful night, and I will see
• 1:52:05
  y'all tomorrow night at eight thirty pm. Such a time, same time,
• 1:52:10
  same place. Love y'all, and thank y'all again for tuning into another episode
• 1:52:14
  up let her interrupted. I'm a hilt love y'all. How my baby do
• 1:52:21
  it? However she'd be doing it? I don't know. But I see
• 1:52:26
  y'all tomorrow night. I love y'all. Sleep well, be blessed, and
• 1:52:29
  look, tomorrow is Wednesday, y'all gonna be all right. We halfway through
• 1:52:34
  the week. Baby, we hadn't made it. We didn't made it,
• 1:52:36
  Okay, we hadn't made it. I love your two brother I promise I
• 1:52:41
  do so, Shena. I love you, y'all. Y'all not gonna get
• 1:52:45
  me trying to do my love fingers and there we go. I got it,
• 1:52:48
  I get there we go, I got it. But I love y'all,
• 1:52:51
  heart's heart's hearts love sleep well tonight. Like I said, whatever happened
• 1:52:57
  today, leave it today, because tomorrow you get another chance to try it
• 1:53:00
  again. Love y'all to night,