Latest / The Body Rhythm: Nervous System Health, Digestion & Daily Rhythms for Women / Ep. 12 Wired and Tired? Why You Feel Exhausted But Can’t Relax

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Ep. 12 Wired and Tired? Why You Feel Exhausted But Can’t Relax · The Body Rhythm: Nervous System Health, Digestion & Daily Rhythms for Women

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Body Rhythm Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Chelsea Johnson, talking all things diet, lifestyle, health, and healing with a dose of heart and soul.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: There is one thing no one tells you about healing burnout.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this episode is gonna address that.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: But first, welcome to the body rhythm.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel functional but depleted, and you're wondering why rest alone hasn't fixed it, then this episode will resonate.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also guiding a 14-day spring reset designed specifically for women running on fumes and stress.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it is designed to calm stress, support and steady digestion, and bring mental clarity.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll share more at the end of today's episode.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a story that I hear a lot when I'm working with yoga therapy clients.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it is a woman in a doctor's office, and it's because there is finally a symptom that um can no longer be ignored.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so the woman describes everything that's happening.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's exha, it's exhaustion, it's sleep problems, it's digestive issues, it's anxiety, it's pain.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the doctor runs tests, and all of the tests come back normal or maybe slightly off, but it's not that.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And the doctor's advice is you're stressed, you need to relax, maybe try some yoga, exercise more, eat better, get more sleep.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then the internal response is if I could just relax, I would.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: If I could sleep, I would.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you think that I've I've tried these things?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the frustration begins to kick in.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone has advice, which is to meditate, to exercise, to do yoga, to do Pilates, to eat clean, to take a vacation, to say no more often.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Just practice self-care, right?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: I hear that a lot as well, but none of it works, or it works temporarily, and then you slide back, and the symptoms present themselves again, or perhaps they present in a worse way, a way that demands more attention.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the missing piece that I see in my work is that all of the advice treats the symptoms, but nobody is addressing the root cause.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'd like to discuss with you what the root cause might be and why everything changes when you understand it.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: So the typical burnout, stressed out advice just doesn't work.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the advice that everyone gives, right?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just rest more.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this doesn't work because the nervous system is dysregulated.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: We're not talking about a healthy nervous system who you can tell to rest more, and then the next morning you wake up feeling rejuvenated.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: When we're chronically stressed, burnt out, overwhelmed, our nervous system isn't starting from a perfect balanced homeostasis starting point.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: So even when you try to rest, your body can't access rest mode.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: You lie down, but your mind races.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: You take a day off, but still feel exhausted.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you sleep in late and you wake up still feeling exhausted.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And rest alone doesn't fix the underlying nervous system problem.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: The advice of just exercise.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Why this doesn't work?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, when you're burnt out, intense exercise can make things work.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: As I talked about in my previous episode about how I felt after vinyasa class when our nervous system is already operating from depletion, activating an already overactivated nervous system can actually make us feel worse.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Our body doesn't have the reserves to recover from exercise.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And you might feel temporarily better from the endorphins, but you might also crash later.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Exercise is stress on the body.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're already stressed, it can just be too much for the body, for the nervous system to recover from.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: The advice of just eat better.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I hear this all the time, you know, working with clients.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of women say, I am eating healthy, but I'm still having these digestive symptoms.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still having bloating, I'm still having gas, still having heartburn.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Nutrition matters, yes.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll talk about this later.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: But when your nervous system is dysregulated, your digestion gets suppressed, your body sends its resources, go fight whatever it perceives to be the danger.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: They're not going to help the digestive process in your body.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So you can eat the healthiest food in the world and not absorb it properly.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can eat the healthiest food in the world and it's just gonna not feel good in the body.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And food alone cannot fix nervous system dysregulation.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I think from what I've seen in working with clients that food stress can make burnout worse, and burnout can make food stress work.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is the loop that I see continuously when I work with women, and I've seen it in myself as well.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Another advice tip that we usually get is perhaps you've heard it, is just meditate or just breathe, right?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: This does not work alone.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And going through my own process of burnout and overwhelm, I could barely take an inhale for a breath of one.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: I could barely hold my exhale for uh two counts.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so when someone says just meditate or just breathe, I think it can be a little bit dismissive of what is actually happening in the body and what is actually happening in the mind.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to take smaller steps to get to where we ultimately want to be.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, meditation and breathing is powerful when your nervous system is ready for it.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're severely dysregulated, sitting still might feel impossible or panic-inducing, even.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Your body might not feel safe enough to be still, it still is keeping watch for the danger.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's trying to protect itself, right?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if we are the body thinks that there's a danger to run from, to protect itself from, it's not gonna feel safe enough to lie down and to be still.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if we're in fight or flight and our breathing is short and shallow, because that's what we need to fight the danger, it's gonna be really hard to increase the breathing, to increase the inhales, to increase the exhales.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: But this is important information as we begin the recovery process into bringing the nervous system back into a more regulated state.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Meditation is a practice, breathing is a practice that supports nervous system regulation.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think Yoga Nidra is a wonderful practice for this, but it needs other supports too.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Meditation is a top-down approach, mind to body, when what you are actually needing is a bottom-up approach, the body to the mind.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Another piece of advice that, you know, sometimes just doesn't cut it is just take a vacation.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this doesn't work, right?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Takes a lot of effort to plan a vacation.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: It takes a lot of effort to get to the location.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've experienced this myself when I've been severely burnt out and overwhelmed.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I can't focus enough to get myself to the planning stage of a vacation, or that just seems like one more thing that I have to do.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or perhaps you go on vacation and then you immediately slide back into the same patterns, same routines.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: The stressors are still there, your nervous system is still dysregulated.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so without addressing the root cause, vacation just becomes a temporary escape.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Also, you know, you might spend the vacation unable to relax because your system is so activated.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Usually, when we go on vacation, we're there for a short amount of time, and so we're trying to fit all of the things in, you know, a condensed amount of time.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And this actually is just more activation for the nervous system to deal with.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's more draining.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so then this advice doesn't work.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Another one is just set boundaries, right?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've heard this a million times.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And setting boundaries is absolutely crucial, it's important.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: But when your nervous system is in survival mod, boundaries can feel dangerous, can feel new.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: It takes effort to put boundaries in place.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And when you can barely get out of bed, when you can barely think, then setting boundaries just it becomes another thing to do.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps your people pleasing is often a nervous system response.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you need nervous system safety before you can effectively set boundaries.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: As I mentioned, trying to set boundaries from a dysregulated state often fails or creates more stress.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so the pattern that we see through all of these different types of advice is that the advice focuses on behavior change.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: But behavior change is almost impossible when your nervous system is dysregulated, when it's out of balance.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's like trying to have a rational conversation with someone who's being chased by a bear.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not gonna work.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: First thing is the person needs to get away from the bear, feel safe where they are, and then you can have the conversation.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: So the missing piece is nervous system dysregulation.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what nobody tells you: that the root cause of burnout, the root cause of overwhelm is nervous system dysregulation.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: It is lack of homeostasis.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a lack of sleep.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Lack of sleep is a symptom.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a poor diet, although that can be a contributor, absolutely, but it's not the root.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's not lack of boundaries, which can also be a symptom.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: The root cause is your nervous system is stuck in survival mode.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is stuck in fight or flight.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is stuck in sympathetic activation.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just a quick overview.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system has two modes: sympathetic, which is fight or flight, that's activated when you perceive a threat.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: It is designed through evolution for short-term survival.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: It mobilizes resources for action and it shuts down non-essential functions like digestion, reproduction, immunity.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: It wants to keep the body safe and protect.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: The other mode is parasympathetic.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is the rest and digest response.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's activated when you feel safe.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is where healing happens, it's where restoration happens.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is when digestion works, immunity works, sleep works, reproduction works.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is the time where the body repairs itself.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And when we're in chronic stress, when we are in burnout, the sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight response has been activated for so long that it's become your baseline.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Your body thinks that it is under constant threat and it can't shift into parasympathetic mode.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Even when you're trying to rest.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is because chronic stressors keep activating your threat response.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's work demands, it's financial stress, relationship conflicts, caregiving responsibilities, lack of support, loss of safety, community, stability, can be traumas past and current.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: It can be things that it can be a physical threat, like a tiger chasing you through the jungle.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: It can be a perceived threat, angry emails from your boss.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: But the nervous system responds in the same way.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Activate survival mode.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And in modern life.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: So this is the modern problem.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: In the past, threats were usually acute.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: In the past, threats were usually happening right here, right now.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: They were time limited.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: The tiger chases you.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we can over-identify with anxiety or depression or disassociation.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is not who you are.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: It is a state.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a state that can be changed, it's a state that can be brought back into balance.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what's important to keep top of mind.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: So where I think this can go wrong sometimes is this top-down approach, which is the mind to the body.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: So using your thinking brain to control your body.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you do this through positive thinking, through affirmations, through trying to logic yourself to calm, such as I shouldn't feel this way, other people have a lot worse, through willpower, self-control, maybe restriction.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: And this usually doesn't work when we're dysregulated because your thinking brain is offline and your survival brain, the amygdala, is running the show.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so you can't think your way out of this.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: What works is a more bottom-up approach, body to mind.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is how we regulate the nervous system through physical practices that send safety signals to the body.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because once the body feels safe, the thinking brain comes back online.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Then we can begin to use more of these thinking brain approaches.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: So bottom-up regulation would be things like gentle breath work, weighted blankets, gentle movement, touching the body, self-hug, self-massage, maybe incorporating sounds such as singing or humming, being out in nature, feeling the sunshine on the face, feeling the grass under the feet, connection with community, with your safe people.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we begin to regulate the body, then we can work with the thoughts and behaviors.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: What are some things to do to bring the body into more rest and digest response?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Think gentle is the key.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Intense exercise adds more stress when you're already depleted.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Think more slow, gentle yoga.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: A nice walk out in nature, some gentle stretching, maybe some dancing to your favorite song.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Anything that feels nourishing and not depleting.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is restorative practices that create conditions for actual rest.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: So restorative yoga, yoga nidra, which I have one on my YouTube channel that would be great for stress and overwhelm.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's lying in supported positions, maybe with weight on you, like a weighted blanket or a pillow.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: It is spending time with our community.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Once the body begins to feel safe, then we can work on the nourishment piece, which is the foods and what foods support stress and digestion.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: But really, I have found that until the nervous system is brought back into balance, focusing on the food piece really isn't going to work.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's just going to feel like one more thing on the to-do list.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: But for simplicity, think warm, wet, and moist foods.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Think foods that are warm, like soups, not salads, maybe warm vegetables, warm rice, warm proteins.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Think of foods that have a more wet or moist quality to them.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: So things like sauces, perhaps, or olive oil or ghee or a nice dressing.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: All of these things can begin to support the nervous system and support digestion in the body.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Healing actually looks different from person to person, but it's never a straight line from burnt out, from overwhelmed, from chronically stressed to balanced.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: The reality is there'll be good days and hard days.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: There'll be days when you slide back, days when you do better.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Some days you'll feel like you're healing, and other days you'll feel like you're back at square one.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And this is normal.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Healing is not linear.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: We move through the same issues at deeper levels.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: We revisit old patterns, but each time we have more awareness, each time we have more.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Tools.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so the progress isn't about never struggling.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's impossible in our life experience.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: But progress is about recovering faster and having more compassion as we do it.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: And when we're able to have an experience, process it, recover faster, and come back to homeostasis, this is our nervous system elasticity.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we want as we move forward for all of our life experience is we want the nervous system to be able to be nimble, to be able to be elastic, to be able to move from sympathetic into parasympathetic with more ease, with more softness.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps as you go forward today with the rest of the week, you might try a simple practice of putting the hand to the heart and closing the eyes and asking yourself what it is that you need right here in this moment.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: What would feel really good?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this can be a very challenging thing if you're not used to doing it before.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Just simply asking what it is that you need.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it's a hug.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it's to be alone for a few minutes.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it's to be outside.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: There's no judgment.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: There is no guilt.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're just beginning to connect to yourself, to your unique body rhythm.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: I just would like to leave you with this: that burnout isn't solved by willpower.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: It shifts when your nervous system studies.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: I am guiding a spring reset uh this April, which is a structured way to calm stress, to regulate the nervous system, to support and study digestion and clear the mental noise, the mental fog.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the details are in the show notes.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: And as you go forward in your week, be well and nourished.