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E262 Step Out Of The Cage · SkyTalkDoc

• SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Good morning, Jeff, and welcome to the Skytalk Doc podcast. You know, it's pretty exciting to have you here because I met you because you had a podcast and you were doing it ironically in the cockpit in air. And I was like, ⁓ my gosh. So years before I'd had a similar idea to do that. then every time I went to fly with someone and record an air the GoPro buffooned, there was shit weather, know, something would happen and then I would be totally pulled away from what I was doing and I was flying the airplane. So I was like, ⁓ this is never, I'm just, it's not, I'm not cut for the vibe, right? So, ⁓ is not going to happen. And then I started the book tour I was going to come to you and we were going to podcast either in your airplane or in Scarlet and kind of make all that happen. And then this massive cell storm. Jeff Brittain: Yeah. Yeah. Right, right. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: just moved over both of our destinations that we'd picked out to meet up at. It literally over both. And I was like, okay, this is just not gonna happen. we stayed in touch ⁓ I took a little social media hiatus for a lot of reasons. And we were kind of talking about, hey, we should just get on and talk about life and flying and all the things. And so here we are. I'm hopeful that you can share with the listeners a little bit about like your backstory and who you are and. Jeff Brittain: Yeah. you Here we are. Okay. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: maybe how you got into flying and what kind of like sprouted the idea for an in-cockpit podcast. I know you had some pretty cool guests on yeah, I'd to kind of just hear ⁓ you got where you are. Jeff Brittain: Yeah, it fun. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm honored. I really respect you and I think you and your husband are doing some really cool stuff and I think you got a great career in your planes and all your adventures. love keeping up with you socially. It's nice to finally meet you and officially, virtually of course, maybe one day in person. And again, appreciate the opportunity. So I try to make this as exciting as possible. It's not really exciting, but I'll try to make it as exciting as possible. So I grew up in a really small town, North Carolina, and my dad. flew ultralights, you know, the things you even have to have a license for. And he and his buddies, we used to come because I was from Drexel, North Carolina, and we just come to Drexel Air Force, they'd fly over and formation our little small town and stuff like that. born on an Air Force base. So flying's always been in the blood. And when I turned 15, I started doing lessons myself, right? It's 35 bucks an hour. If you can imagine that included the instructor back in the day. And so to got to about about 10 hours so and SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: ⁓ cool. Jeff Brittain: went through stalls and kind of got scared, put me and my instructor in a spin, which wasn't fun on the very first try accidentally. But it didn't scare me away. But coincidentally, I met a girl at that point and it was either 35 bucks an hour for me and a big dude in a 150 or 35 bucks to take a girl out on a weekend. And so the girlfriends won at that point. I took a little hiatus from flying, but it was always in my blood. I had an appointment with the Air Force Academy. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Ahahaha Yeah. Jeff Brittain: That's what I was going to do. But then some things in life happened with a girlfriend I had at the time and decided to stay home. But all roads led to me to NC State and then Appalachian State and Boone where I met my wife. together 30, guess 35 years now and got three grown sons, two daughter-in-laws, a grand dog and a beautiful granddaughter who's going to be one next year. but that kind of put me on the, got me out of flying. but started me on a career with State Farm Insurance, which I've been for 33 years now. And my dad started when I was six and he was 80, he's 81, he's still a State Farm agent. So it's all I've ever really known. I remember, I remember he used to work me child labor, this is before child labor laws, but I was child labor in his office from like 10 to 18 years old. Every Saturday, my buddies were doing things, riding around cruising, and I'm in my dad's office. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Thank Jeff Brittain: And I remember I wrote him a letter when I went to college and said, I will never work for State Farm. Well, here we are. 33 years later. Don't never say never say never. But where I'm going to try to get to the flying part of it, I guess, I still had this ink on. wanted to fly. I to fly. was like this monkey on my back. wanted to get my license and do what I needed to do. And so I watched, I don't know, this one social media influencer gal, she put some post up about like, what are you waiting for? Right. Just do it. One of those kind of like, just do it posts. I'm like, you know what? Heck yeah, man. So I pulled out the phone and found a flight school and went and took lessons and soloed. And then I had three sons at Liberty University at the same time. That was about a $450,000, five, six year investment there. And so the money kind of went away when your Amex is getting hit for 9,000 a month for college tuition. It's hard to squeeze in 200 an hour to finish your lessons. So I soloed. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: ⁓ Yeah. Jeff Brittain: took a year or two off and then still on my back, got back into it and started flying and finished it up. I think I sold it or finished around 2020, 2021 somewhere in there. And so I love flying. I'm not a get up and just go flying around guy. I'm a destination guy. I like to go fly. Let's go have breakfast. Let's go have lunch. Let's go have coffee. Let's just go somewhere and do something, right? Cause flying around just in circles or doing stuff is kind of boring. But in my prior role at State Farm, I was kind like a regional manager guy. And so my income or my success was predicated upon my agents succeeding and doing well in that space. And so decided, you know what, I've got this platform. I started recording my kids trips here and there. And then I said, man, how can I monetize this? I hate to say monetize it, but I'm gonna start taking my agents up, let them tell their stories. They can use their clips. It's gonna differentiate them and people gonna attract people to their websites and stuff like that. And I retired from that position and opened up my own shop. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. Jeff Brittain: as a state farm agent here in ⁓ North Suffolk or Tidewater, Virginia area. And I'm like, heck with those guys. I mean, I love my agents, don't get me wrong, but it's not about my agency now. And so I started, I saw this as a differentiator. And so when I would go to these networking events, if you've ever been in a networking event, so where are you out? I started going as Jeff from State Farm, right? But everybody's got an insurance guy. isn't sexy. It's not, I mean, it's insurance, man. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Brittain: Now we do financial services too, which I can't really get into because I don't have a bunch of approvals and compliance on junk, but we do financial services and all the things that fancy name companies do too. But, um, uh, it makes it a little more sexier than car insurance. But I, so I started going to these events at state farm and everybody had an insurance guy. Well, then I came up with the cockpit convos branded idea where I would go to these networking events as cockpit convos. I'd have my name tags cockpit convos because in that room, there's a five other insurance guys, five other financial service professionals, five other life insurance people. There ain't nobody flying an airplane doing a podcast, right? And so since I wasn't a commercial pilot, said, you know, can't charge for it. can't do me. That's the main, they're gonna grant half if you wanted to look at it, get all OCD about it, but I wouldn't charge for it. So I started putting it out there and I was using it as my differentiator. And so doc, I'd go to these, these, ⁓ networking events and I'm not saying I have a lot of people, but I would definitely be holding crowd. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Right? Right? Jeff Brittain: People want to talk about planes and we can we go up and flying that they could then use on their social media channels Promote their businesses and this that any other and it was going great. I've probably had I don't know 12 15,000 followers on it YouTube and stuff like that And I would put all these clips all the AI clips in their own Google Drive so they could use them on their own I'm not promoting them. I'm using I want them to use me to promote themselves and in turn maybe They might think of me when it came to insurance or financial services SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Jeff Brittain: Right? So let's fast forward. You know, it's six, eight months in at that point. I probably got 30, 35 episodes up. It's cost me as you well know to rent a plane and to rent a plane. cost me about two to 250 bucks a pop plus time of editing. Call it. If you want to put my hourly wage, just call three or $400 total. Yeah, at least. And nobody thought of me as your insurance guy. I never got any business off of it. Right. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: you least. Jeff Brittain: Nobody, nobody can, and I wouldn't get you up in a plane and say, Hey doc, give me your insurance or you're jumping. I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say that, but I would just hope, you know, I would just hope that at some point insurance would cross their mind and I would be, or Hey, quote me insurance sometime, man. So I would, was doing it really, you had to get some name recognition, but mostly promote their businesses, but also like, Hey, where's the love? You know, I gave it to keep on a $300 airplane ride. Anyway. And so A lot of things in life happened. started seeing the crowd I was taking up transitioning into a space that I wasn't comfortable with. And what I mean by that is it started to become a popularity contest with people like, well, if she went up, then I got to go up. And if she went up, then I got to go up. And if she went up, then I got to go up. And it started, I started feeling used to be honest with you, doc. mean, I, and, and, and even, you know, although SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Uh-huh. Jeff Brittain: guests are awesome. mean, nothing great people I met and cool stuff. There's but you know how perception can be reality, in the aviation community. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Well, and to pause you for a second, like what I'm hearing is this was a marketing twist. Your marketing mind was like, this is a great approach. This is a good pivot that no one else is doing. It's unique. It's all those things. So I'm going to use this as a marketing tool and kind of brand myself in this way. you found that what ended up happening was instead of there being reciprocity, people were writing your coattails. Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 100%. That's a great way of putting it. And so I had that and I, and of course, running a business, I've got to manage my money. I've got to be a steward of my finances and resources and things like that. Um, but then I also had not guilt, but stress about what other pilots would think. Right now, first off, my saying with flying is there are old pilots and bold pilots. There are no old bold pilots. Right. And so what people didn't see is I would get us up, put on the autopilot request flight following. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: ⁓ f***. Jeff Brittain: put in a destination 45 minutes away, turn around. Meanwhile, if you ever watch one of my videos, I'm like a dag on tennis match. I'm always scanning for traffic is pilots, but I would hear them, you know, and I would call out and I would do the frequencies, but I did it in my videos where you wouldn't see that, right? So I'm still, I'm being safe. I'm doing what I'm doing. And plus, the plane I have is high tech. I've got all the traffic. That doesn't mean somebody's ADSB is working, but that's why I'm scanning, right? SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Jeff Brittain: And so the safety was always there. wasn't worried, but I was always worried about some, some haters. You well know you probably have your full share of them. Um, some haters will turn me in the FAA or who, you know, whatever. So I had this, a, I'm getting used, I'm spending a lot of money and not getting anything out of it. B some of the people I have in my plane is it really reflection upon who I am as a person, right? There were great people. There's nobody lawbreakers, but you know where I'm going with this. C. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Ha ha ha ha! Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Brittain: What's the FAA going to say to me one day? would State Farm be cool with that? Cause I'm wearing State Farm shirts and talking about State Farm's products. And even though it's not, I'm not saying, let me tell you about my rebate program. mean, that's illegal. I mean, I'm not saying stupid, illegal stuff. Everything's legit, but it's just all this, all this internal pressure. ⁓ stressing myself out at doc. And then this is where the good Lord kind of came together for me. And this is like a buddy might give me a podcast and it was about identity and And Jamie Winship is his name and it's got some faith into it, but it's not all faith. It's not like get right or get left. It's not, you know, turn or burn type stuff, but I am a man of faith. So it was resonating with me in some spaces he was talking about. But here's the thing is like, we, we, we are a product of the, ⁓ us as we grew up, right? Who said you couldn't sing? Who said you couldn't dance? Who said you were ugly? Who said, know, ⁓ we're a a amalgamation of our identity is who we believe we are. And we are sometimes told who we are versus who we were designed to be. So here's where going with that. Fast forward. I'm trying to make it sense. Here's the deal. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Well, because I want to jump in on that real quick. What I believe is we are a manifestation of all of our micro hot stove moments, our emotional injuries. That's what I believe. that's kind of what the primal wounds is about, right? Like how do you have all these micro hot stove moments where you've gotten burned and you've learned something about your world and your life and the people around you ⁓ how to approach relationships and how to attach or detach ⁓ how to still show up vulnerably? How do you still show up transparently? How do you still Jeff Brittain: Yeah. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: be safe, right? that's, that's, so I'm re, it's what you're saying is resonating. Jeff Brittain: Yeah. Oh yeah. And you're, you're about to get all switched on here then, cause this is where it was the, these hot stuff moments. And so this, this podcast talked about this guy was going through his identity and you know, he had some good mentors in his life and his career. And then it was like, well, who said that? Well, who said that? And it started asking him questions. He's recanting the questions. Well, as a listener, I'm asking myself these questions. And, and here's the thing I had great parents growing up. went to church, dad was a deacon, mayor of the town, I was student body president, was captain of all the teams, you know, we had a good, there was no or drinking or, know, a big deal. Yeah, no, no. ⁓ so none of that stuff. And, but here, and I had two entrepreneurial parents, you know, so second place, first loser, highly competitive, that type of stuff. Well, here's where this identity thing, and maybe in your book too, and your, and with your studies and your counseling part. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: cheating, beating, drinking. Yeah, I have a chapter on that in my book. Jeff Brittain: As far back as I can remember, my parents never did this intentionally. Great parents, but comma. I remember when I was five years old, you need a girlfriend. You need to be number one in class. You need to be captain of the team. If there's a play, you need to be the number one guy. And they never said you need, they would just push me to be that person. Right? They never said, if you're not the, yeah. Yeah. If you're not number one, then they never said, if you're not number one, you suck. They didn't say that. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Mm-hmm. I know your primal wound. got it. I know your primal wound. Right. It just said, we really hope that you strive for number one. And that is as much of a hot stove moment as saying you better be. Jeff Brittain: But they encourage me to. Yeah, but they said, we love you. You can do this. I know you can do this. You're going to be great at it. Let's help you get there. That type of thing. then fast forward and you know all this because you're a doc, but fast forward to beyond high school or college. I couldn't run a five K I had to run the Boston marathon. I couldn't just do an iron man triathlon. had to do an iron man. I couldn't be a pilot. I'd have a podcast. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yep. Yep. Jeff Brittain: I couldn't just be a great state farm agent. had to be chairman circle. I had to be presence club. I had to be me on their ransom. So, and I'm not falling on that because I'm where I am today because a lot of these high valued things, but here's the thing that the, the, the watershed moment, how it summarizes this whole conversation is unintentionally. And I'm proud of a lot of things they did for me unintentionally. It made me believe I had to be something to be somebody. That's where it went off the rails. And here's the thing where this podcast helped me realize is that if, and as parents, I messed up with my kids too, trying to push them to be the best and blah, blah, because that's how was raised. Hey, this is how you be a good husband. This is how you be a good man of faith. This is how you manage your money. This is how you be a good friend. This is how you be a good mentor. There were none of the things that make us people good, good humans. None of us say that I was in church all the time. They're not, they're great parents. I love my parents, but the things that were important to them were when I was something, not somebody and SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: You are in your doing and not your being. Jeff Brittain: correct and this identity thing helped me realize that I'm I'm done trying to be interesting not I just want to be interested and I want to be interested in you I want to be interested in my team my family my kids my granddaughter my friends my hobbies and being a state farm agent that's such a small part of my identity and and that's that's what's helped me so what I did was I shut the whole dang thing down shut the whole podcast down turned it off and same day done gone not even on YouTube anymore and SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Mm-hmm. Jeff Brittain: not even mostly on social media anymore. have to because of my business, but I'm done trying to be interesting, man. I just want to be interested and talk about people and connect with people. And at least that's the phase in life I'm in right now. And that's the whole journey of where we're at. So go ahead, fire away. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: love what you're saying. And I was taking mental notes as we were going along because therapists do that sort of thing. know, what I was really visualizing is something that I struggle with myself, which is it's a circular racetrack and there's another finish line every quarter mile. You know, it just never ended. It never ends. And then there's this interesting juxtaposition where, ⁓ and by the way, in my book, in the acknowledgments part, I say, you know, if parents had to screw someone up, had the best ones for the doing, right? Like all parents are going to screw up their kids, right? So we can just get that out of the way right now because one is perfect. And we bring so much generational trauma. And and I just watched an incredible YouTube that we're going to podcast on. And he was talking about these rat races that we kind of throw ourselves into. ⁓ And I think the generation prior to us had a Jeff Brittain: Yeah, sure. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: a little bit of a win, enough to keep them kind of coming back for it. So like they got the house with the two-car garage and that was enough. This generation isn't getting that. And so we're filling our space with entertainment and endless to-do lists ⁓ that we can feel something, so that we can feel a sense of purpose. ⁓ what you're saying is, don't want to be interesting. I want to be interested in what other people are doing and having these relationships. And I think what this really comes down to is, I hear you and I believe you I know that your self-driven purpose is to help change the world in some way. So you're going to come back to that place. That's why you're here right now, right? You're like, ⁓ I to share this that I'm learning with other people who might be in the same discomfort. Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: So it's an interesting place to be where, you know, I had a similar sensation of like, in December, I was feeling very goldfished. I was feeling like everyone was having an opinion about my life and was assessing it and was talking behind my back, so to speak, and sometimes right to my face even. And I was like, you don't deserve it. You actually don't deserve this level of access to my life. And I just, like you, flipped all the switches. ⁓ just like I'm shutting down the masters in my airplane, know, master generator radio, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. I dark ⁓ and was the most freeing time in my life. And then I had the publishing company coming and saying, hey, you probably need to go back on. The book's coming out in a couple of weeks. Like, when are going to make your reappearance, you know, in the best intentions? And I've back on less than a month now, almost, I think exactly a month, ⁓ and I it. Jeff Brittain: Sure. Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: hate it. ⁓ And I hate it for a lot of different reasons. The first reason is because there's no way you can be on social media and not feel the urge to perform. there's way that you can be on social media, which is completely designed to ping your primal wound and not feel a sense of failure and or ⁓ not ⁓ And I recognize these things very clearly ⁓ and am Jeff Brittain: sorry. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: with such discomfort about the way that it feels to have to be there and not be there, be there and not be there. And how do I show up authentically when I don't really want to at all? You know, it's a really fascinating place. And I'm curious, did you take your primal wound quiz? Jeff Brittain: I did, we did it like when you and I first met back, gosh, seven, eight months ago, but I don't remember, you pinged it. Yeah, yeah, I remember we did it. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: I'm going to look it up right now. I wonder if you're an insignificant wounder. going to look it up because it sounds like it. I'm curious to see if you don't mind me sharing it with the whole world here. ⁓ So I'm on a different screen, so I can't see you right now, but I'm going to jump in here and I'm going to find you. Jeff Brittain: Yeah. No, please didn't. get, Hey, I'm an open book sunshine. So I'm doing dances on the screen. You can't see me. It's all good. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Fantastic. Yeah. You're doing the Charlie Brown move. So if I had to take a guess, I would go with an insignificant wounder. View result. Jeff Brittain: But you know, here's the interesting thing. I'd be interested to take it again since I've, since I've had this little realization, right? Am I, cause I believe I'm a different person now. I mean, I'm, I don't know. Even my Myers-Briggs has me as a feeler. I've never a feeler. I was always a thinker. I'm like, what the heck? Who am I? SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. Yeah. So So one thing that's cool about the Primal Wound Quiz that most people don't know is that we've got these seven Primal Wounds and there's always one that's more dominant and there is one that's more dominant for you. And then I can see the percentages of all the other wounds. And your second wound is I am insignificant. I don't know if you'd want me to share what your first is. ⁓ So your first wound, so your primary, your dominant wound is powerlessness. Jeff Brittain: Sure, you can say it. Yeah, love this type of stuff. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: And so that's really fascinating. And I do see that sometimes with parents that were in that environment, but not as much. It almost makes me wonder if you didn't have something in your life when you were young that you didn't feel like you had a say about or something that you didn't feel like you had any control over or maybe somebody that was ill or something like that and you felt like couldn't help them. ⁓ Jeff Brittain: Mm. Could be. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah, that's kind of, that's usually what I hear the powerless wonders. Jeff Brittain: I mean, there's, okay, so my past career, I mean, these wounds can be fresh, right? They don't have to be innate to some extent, I guess, right? They're learned or they're behavior based or experientially based. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. They're experientially based. They start very young. And so usually we will identify one and then we'll affirm it throughout our lifetime. So what happens is we get a confirmation bias. Psychologically, we start scanning for it. And so then we affirm it by finding it. It's kind of that paradox like you achieve what you seek. Yeah. You kind of create your world. Jeff Brittain: Got it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, find what you look for. Right, right. Well, could be to my prior career. had 18 years of leadership with State Farm over, I ⁓ ⁓ I opened up my show, had 86 agents and I had zero power over these people for 18 years. But all my success or failure was predicated upon their success or failure, which they did not have a vested interest in my success or failure. They're really interesting situation. They're all independent contractors, but I'm the only hinge pin between them and the company. And so my success was based upon their success, but they didn't have a person. vested interest in my success. So was completely powerless for the last 18 years. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: that might be driving. I'd be curious to have you take it again and I'm curious to see if it comes out the same. That's really interesting. That's really fascinating stuff. Jeff Brittain: Yeah, Yeah, I'll do it again. Yeah, I'll do it again. So let me ask you, how are you coping with your love-hate relationship with social media? How do you manage that? SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: You know, Jeff Brittain: Let the interviewee interview the interviewer a minute. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: No, I love it because you do this, right? So that's great. It's been one of these things where, so my primal wound is insignificant, unchosen, unseen. And so I know on some level, the things that I do are to feel significant, right? And I always tell people the wounds aren't always maladaptive. It's like you said, these things also led to great achievements in my life. So I'm not necessarily angry with them. Jeff Brittain: All right. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: They can be a superpower if you learn how to navigate them. they can also have these very maladaptive, dark, tetrad kind of traits to them, right? Where they become these ⁓ self-fulfilling prophecies ⁓ of et And for me, think that I'm in a space right now, it's a very interesting space. It's a very precarious space. And this is where I get so nervous sharing stuff personally because Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: there's going to be someone listening to this be like, I'm calling the FAA because she's in a precarious space. You know, like it's like, what the actual fuck. ⁓ no, no, no, no. I, I'm not worried at all about it. ⁓ so it's like, I'm in this precarious space where I'm actually searching for this deeper layer. feel like the deeper layer unlocks the next level. And, what looking for is, okay, then what is the true meaning and purpose of life? Like ⁓ I said commander yesterday, I was like, Jeff Brittain: Oh, then don't talk about it. You don't have to answer. It's fine. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: I kind of can understand how people wind up on a monastery, like really silencing everything around to find out what is underneath. Because YouTube that we listen to, ⁓ share it with you afterwards because I think everybody should listen to it. And literally everything that guy said, I was nodding and saying, this is exactly what I think and feel. I believe we've been born into a season that is pretty successfully designed to keep us distracted in a cage such that people don't really want freedom because freedom is actually terrifying. It's like if you've grown up in a zoo and I open the door and you look out and you have this opportunity to go be a wild cat. Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: That's all on you. Everything from that step forward is on you. If you fail, if you succeed, if you die, right? And then you hear the little bell ring and you turn around and the zookeeper is placing a bowl of food down. Most people will walk back in. And so people say they want freedom, but freedom comes at a great cost. It comes at Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: really having to strip back all the excuses and blame that you can place on everyone and everything in your life and really owning your stuff. And that's terrifying because there's no one that you can point the finger at when things don't go how you want them to go. And so if we've been born into this zoo that keeps us distracted with balls and little things to play with in our cage and have a realization that Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: We've lived pretty happily with having our meal at five o'clock and having our little toys, our movie nights and our mini golf and all the things that we are, football games, all the things that we do. And you have an open gate and you go out there. What if you don't find what you're looking for? What if there is no meaning and purpose, right? That's what terrifies me the most. I'm like, okay, raising kids. That's that purpose makes sense, right? Like I'm raising good humans and I'm like, but really what am I raising good humans for? Am I raising them to be good parts of the system? Am I raising them to learn how to go give the best years of their life to someone else in exchange for a mediocre salary? Or am I going to raise them to go find why they chose to come to Earth School in the first place? Like what is it here that they're here to learn? What is their mission? What is their purpose? I'm rambling, but you guys Jeff Brittain: Yeah. What's their true identity? Their true identity. What's their true identity, right? Ultimately. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: I believe Carl Jung said it, know, the real meaning of life is to become who we truly are. ⁓ I think that's a scary juxtaposition to be in because in order to do that, you've got to move through a lot of loss of who you thought you were going to be. Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah, especially when loss is painful relative. Well, it's not painful, is not the right word to say, but let me just put this in my terminology of what my experience has been the last four months, right? It is freedom. ⁓ I do care about you, but I don't care if you had Starbucks last week. And if I truly care about you, I will call you and see how you're doing. Right? So there's a, my old training partner went down and I said, man, I really want to run an eight minute mile. He's like, do you want it or do you want to want it? because right now you want to want it. Because if you really wanted it, you'd be doing things to get an eight minute mile, right? So when we talk about relationships and things like that, yeah, I would love to have a relationship with people. Do I want it or do I want to want it? Because if I want it, I need to spend time. So seeing you at Starbucks posting a lot that you had while it's fun and whatever we're looking at on our devices and scrolling, yada, yada, yada. For me, the hardest part of that has not been shutting off the apps. The hardest part of it is because of the balls in my cages at my zoo. I get bored. It's eight o'clock at night and I'm tired of falling asleep on the couch, right? I feel like I've got this whole now after hours life, after business hours life, not after hours late night life, I'm just talking about what I do in that space to not, I guess, bring value, but spend more time with my wife, spend more time with my kids, more intentional with my friends. So I've got a list of friends, my top 10 friends in my phone. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Mm-hmm. Jeff Brittain: And I've tried to, when I get bored, shoot a text on it. Hey, how's your week going? How you doing? Right. So I'm trying to use boredom as the, catalyst for deeper relationships with people. Now as an entrepreneur, as you well know, if you sell them does and never close, I mean, I'm always thinking about work. There's always things I can do in my office. I mean, I've got five amazing people that work for me and there's always things I can do to help develop them, train them, manage them. It's there at all. ⁓ I'm getting older. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Mm-hmm. Jeff Brittain: I don't have as much energy. I'm just tired man, and I don't want to do anything right And so I'm trying to navigate that space now I'll say getting off the socials and I'm still on a game for my business. I still got to have that Well, I think I have to have that that's the crazy thing I'm not sure really I do you do you do in your world probably because you're selling a retail item and that's gonna bring you economic benefit and joy and Awesomeness and all that stuff ⁓ SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. But I'm in a funny place with that. I was on a walk the other day and ⁓ said I was saying my prayers sometimes when I'm walking, I do my little prayers and stuff. I said, look, I said this book wasn't of me. This came through me. Right. Like you, you told me to write this book and every every way that the words came out, all the chapters, everything that came through, it was through me. And I said, and here I am in this Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. Cool. Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: uncomfortable place of knowing I need to be in this space to promote this thing that came through me and not wanting to be there at all. And my prayer was, take it. If you want this to do something, you take it. And this hawk was swooping right in front of me. And I was like, let it go. You know, because I can't Jeff Brittain: Awesome. Fantastic. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's cool. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: I can't anymore. I've done it, you know? I find myself when I'm in that space showing up in a way that's not graceful for me, it doesn't feel good for me. And so ⁓ kind of like let go and let God, right? Like that's where I'm out with it. Like it's going to reach the people it needs to reach in the time it needs to reach them. ⁓ what's really interesting is since I kind of stopped, I mean, ⁓ am in a little bit of a way, certain commitments and things, ⁓ since I stopped caring, Jeff Brittain: Right? Yeah. Mm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: about that as much. It's been really fascinating, the people that have showed up to talk to me. And I'm like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing, you know? But I don't know I would have gotten here without that. So it's fascinating, you know? Jeff Brittain: Yeah. Right? Well, it's just part of your story. This is just part of your story. And where you're in this space and you're learning, you're a doctor, you're learning stuff through it and learn about yourself and people and all that good stuff. But. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: So what you were saying was, I'm trying to evade boredom. And it's funny because our kids will sometimes come to us. We do nothing on Saturdays. We chose that about a year and a half, almost two years ago now. And it was really important to us because we wanted to do some studies on ancient civilizations and different things like that. We wanted to show up in a different way for the kids. And so they'll come to us some Saturdays and they'll say, I'm bored. And we'll say, good, learn how to sit with that. you know, because we do, we want to fill the space. And is there anything wrong with filling the space by reaching out to the 10 favorites that you have in your phone? I don't know. I don't know. Is it better to sit there in silence and be bored and be full of discomfort, or is it better to create connection? And that's, I guess, the question of what's the meaning of life? You know, I know for me, my next chapter is going to be not chasing a dollar. It's going to be chasing simplicity. Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: it's going to be chasing ways in which I feel like my time here is impactful by maybe helping like wildcat rescue or wild, wild, you know, monkeys or something like that. Like something that feels like as an earthly being who has some dominion over creatures on the earth, ⁓ my mission is to help them, you know, like, I don't know, I'm, I'm investigating that, but I know that I'm not finding Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. Maybe it is. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: comfort any longer in what I've been told I need to find happiness in. Jeff Brittain: I love that. I love that. I mean, I'm all rage against machine guy, right? Cause I think we've been programmed in a lot of ways. and, and one of the things when I finished this podcast and I'd love to see your YouTube and I'll send this podcast to you too. cause I got, I was given a vision, man. And it's like, if you can imagine the funnel and at the output of that phone's identity before this podcast, the things going into that funnel, I mean, I wouldn't do it in drugs or anything, but they weren't. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Brittain: You know, they were networking all the time, you know, just things that were not going in that funnel were spending time with my wife, spending more time in my faith, spending more time with my kids, spending more time with it. The things were, that was the very bottom of the funnel. Right. And so the vision I have now is this funnel. If you can envision without any at the bottom and you got man of faith, husband, dad, granddad, friend, the leader, hobbies state farm. But the most important part of that funnel is. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: ⁓ huh. Jeff Brittain: What are those inputs doc? And my inputs are beliefs, associations, activities. the thing, if those things, ⁓ to your, to go back to what you're saying about, what is this? What does this look like now? Whatever we're putting in our life or choosing to put in our life is going to be their output we get. Right. And so we just need to get, we have to choose different inputs to get different outputs, man. I mean, I don't know. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Mm-hmm. ⁓ I agree. I was having a conversation. Someone showed up to the hangar the other day to buy a book. I loved that. I loved that they came in person and visited for a while. We talked on life and things. I said, think it really comes down to intention versus reaction. If I'm with intention about what I'm doing, then I'm not medicating. But if I'm reacting, then in some way, that's not choice. I think for me, Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: That's the question I've been asking myself lately is, is this intentional or is this reaction? And if it's reaction, it's usually medicating in some way. It's usually trying to make myself feel better. in the past, my drug of choice was achievements. Hike Mount Whitney, hike Half Dome, run the marathon twice, all same things. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Brittain: I get it. I get it. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: So now I'm saying, how can I feel like I matter without needing someone else to affirm that? Jeff Brittain: Good question. Well, I mean, I think to me the answer is in faith and I don't want to alienate your audience. know my answer. I know my answer. ⁓ mean that yeah, ⁓ all have different reasons, but SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: No, I think that's And so this is so the path that, know, Commander and I have been on lately is like true meaning of life, purpose here, and those roads lead back to lot of learning of like ⁓ scriptures and things like that, you know, and piecing things together. Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. Sure. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: It's going to be really fascinating to see how things continue to play out because I feel like there is a small group of people that are starting to awaken to this. And like I said, the things that they allowed that to distract them in the past aren't working anymore. my parents were okay with going to the grind because at least they got the house. You know, they got the house then that everybody, you know, that was the thing like Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. I SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: go do the grind, but then you get this and you get the two car garage and you get the car and you get to take a one week vacation every year. And that was enough. I think there's a population of people now that are realizing like the pendulum swung too far and the Jews squeeze. Jeff Brittain: Sure. Yeah, well, I think they're seeing that the the damages is causing They're seeing the damages causing right so Yeah, so now so now where are you with your book? It's it's it's out there Can I buy it can I go buy it now is it published and all that good stuff? Okay SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've got, yep, it's on Amazon and it's on my website for people that want to get an autographed version of it and things like that. But, ⁓ but I'm in such a weird head space about it. Like I should be out there championing and cheerleading it and all the things that I'm like, ⁓ it's really weird. I didn't have a major airline. I did have a major airline reach out to me last week. and they want me to do a conference ⁓ aviation and mental health. Jeff Brittain: Okay, well, listen, I've had so many ideas. Go ahead. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: I thought, that's weird. thought, you know, a year ago, that would have been like the most exciting news on the planet. And right now I'm like, I don't know. I think you'll find me in the jungles like researching the Mayans. ⁓ Jeff Brittain: That's good. Hey, if you got options, you got a way to pay your bills. Good for you. Do what you want to do. yeah, well, I'll definitely get. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: What about for you, because I know we have to wrap up. I'm sure you got another meeting after this too, but do you see yourself going from here? Jeff Brittain: Yes. So here's where I'm navigating that, where I see it, hopefully a better version of myself for sure. And I'm definitely nowhere, I'm on a journey. I'm not to that point yet, but I'm definitely, think I'm a better person than I was six months ago. The hard time I have is because dudes are very if then thinkers, I believe. If do this, then I get that. You know, or if I do this, then this will happen. You know, so there's a big if then there. So I, I'm kind of looking at Lord like, all right, man, I this change, but I'm expecting some sort of professional business financial windfall, right? Cause I'm the sole breadwinner of my family. I've got to pay the bills, yada, yada, yada, all that good stuff. So. But the happiness or the less stress is kind of the payoff right now. But where do I see it going? As I hope that when somebody says, know Jeff Britton? I say, yeah, man, that dude, he loves his wife. He loves his kids. You ought to see him around his grandkids. You ought to see, man, he's a lot of fun on the golf course. yeah, for God, he's a state farm agent. That's what I want to see. He goes church, he takes people around the world doing mission trips. ⁓ But ultimately I want it to point to, I want my identity or when somebody says, do know Jeff Britton for it to be something that's really not business related. Now, maybe I have to hook them in with that, but then we get to know each other. It's different. And really what you think about me doc is I don't care, right? I don't, I, mean, I mean plot, you know what I mean by that. I used to get caught up in what everybody cared about me, but now I believe if I'm doing the right things or what I'm intended to be and what I was created to do, what you think about me will be. granted from above or it really won't matter. And so, ⁓ not bravado. I'm not, dude, I still got emotions. still like chemistry in the office. still like harmony. I still like you to like, and I still am very relational. I have, I get hurt, hurty hurt feelings. If somebody cusses me out or doesn't like me, right? I I still want that. I still have a feeling high affiliation, but the need is not where it used to be, but I don't have this burning desire to wake up today and try to do something interesting to get you to like me. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Brittain: don't have that anymore. And that is worth its weight and gold to me, Doc, because I just thought I had to have all these fancy, fun, cool, be interesting guy to make you like me. And not anymore. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: And so maybe that's the answer, right? It's like freedom comes from being okay with just being whatever the answer. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. Being secure in who you are. And I think you're going to find the people that are attracted to that or not attracted to that. And that's who your people are. That's who your people are supposed to be. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Peterson once said three generations from now won't remember you. And like, it's like, wow, when you think about that, it's like you got this and we living on this mortal trauma, right? Of like you got 100 years or less, like that's it. You you're born, you know, the first 25 years you're figuring life out the last 25 years on some level waiting to die. You've got 50 in the middle. Jeff Brittain: Thank you. Mm-hmm. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: and you know you better make it count. And how much of that did we waste filling it with shit that actually doesn't matter? Jeff Brittain: Yeah. wish I could do it over, man. wish I, yeah, I'd do a lot of things differently. mean, better or worse, who knows? But I definitely do a lot of things differently. So, but hey, guess what? Today is the first day of the rest of our life, We can, ⁓ ⁓ can, we get the, ⁓ the choice of change is ours any day we want it. And so I encourage people to, to just really stop the things you think are important. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: I think. That's right, and we've lived through everything that we thought would kill us. So hey, here we are. Jeff Brittain: are not, especially in the social space, especially none of your real friends on there. I mean, it's stupid. It's my opinion. I don't hate on anybody. It's social media. Do your thing. It's just so much of our enjoyment I see every day is people scrolling and they're looking at cars they're never going to buy and marriages they're never going to have and fish they're never going to catch and deer they're never going to kill. And rarely did I get off that channel and say, wow, I feel awesome. Right. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: what I'm saying. It's designed to make you feel the exact opposite of that. Jeff Brittain: And so getting rid of that that's I think people with the first step should they should just try a fast for a week And you know what make a list when you're bored. want to go and such me a call a friend I don't know, but I know that's not what this podcast about it SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Mm-hmm. Jeff Brittain: Yeah, call your sponsor. Call me. I don't care if I know you're not. You need to talk to somebody. Call me. I'll talk to anybody. You put my contact information here. I'm happy to talk to anybody. But ⁓ mean, it's journey and I'd love to follow up in a year from now see how we're all doing on this space. ⁓ I I'll talk to you before then and just see where we are on our journey and how it's going. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: I think that we should. I think that we should. I think we should do like a quarterly check-in. I loved this conversation today and I think people are craving these kinds of conversations. When Commander and I have these episodes, they blow up. They're the biggest episodes I have is the ones where we're just rambling on live. Yeah. I don't have the answers, you know. Jeff Brittain: Sure, I'm in. Just raw. Yeah. And I'll send you that podcast link and please review the podcast. Like if you feel like it's something your viewers could and put it in there, I love for them to, it changed my life and maybe it might have others changed out there too. So. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: Yeah. And I'm going to throw in that one too that I've been talking about as well. I'll put those both in there because I think it's something that people need to listen to. yeah, we'll continue on our journey of what's the meaning and get in with each other and see how that searching is going. Folks, if you're looking for a real insurance agent. Jeff Brittain: Mm-hmm. Please do. That sounds great. Maybe I'll have hair. Hey, there you go. And in the states of North Carolina and Virginia, please call Jeff Britton 757-666-9000. So yeah, but yeah, yeah. Stay farm Jeff, not Jake, Jeff, not Jake. So SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: There you go. State Farm Jap, right there. Yeah. Who also wants to be known for loving his wife and his kids and being a good golfer and showing up in a respectful, God-fearing kind of way, or God-loving kind of way. Jeff Brittain: That's right. That's right. Well, the only person we really have to fear is God and he's on our side. So that's the thing. There's that. But we're winning. ⁓ well, cool. Well, good luck to you. It's great to see where you flying this way anytime. East Coast swings. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: So there's that. We're winning. ⁓ You know, after four trips across the country last year in some of the slowest airplanes known to man, I'm on a hot break from people like Fun and Fun, Ash, I'm like, no. My pattern was really nice right now. Jeff Brittain: Gotcha, gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if I'm out that way, I'll look you up and we'll go connect over coffee or something. SkyTalkDoc- Dr. Michaela: ⁓ let's definitely go fly sometime soon. All right. Thank you so much for coming on. Jeff Brittain: Good thing. You bet. Good seeing you. Thank you.