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How can I communicate my sensory needs to others? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: As neurodivergent people, the world can feel quite overwhelming.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: The sensory experiences aren't preferences, they're real embodied responses, and when they're not understood, it can lead to stress, shutdown, and burnout.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, how can we communicate our sensory needs effectively?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: One helpful approach comes from counselling skills, particularly self-awareness and emotional literacy, and also assertive communication.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, first, before we express a need, we have to recognise it.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this might sound simple, but it often takes practice.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: It means noticing what is happening in your body and your minds.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: For example, I'm feeling overwhelmed, this noise level is making it hard to focus, I feel panicky.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Naming the experience is the first step towards communicating it.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Second, use clear and compassionate language.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: So in counselling, we would encourage a use of I statements which reduce blame and increase understanding.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: For example, I find it difficult to concentrate when there's a lot of background noise.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be possible to move somewhere quieter?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: This keeps focus on our own experience rather than criticising others.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Third, being specific about your needs.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: People aren't mind readers, and I think when we've been misunderstood and had certain values assigned to our needs, it can feel a bit vulnerable to communicate them, but it actually helps to be more direct because it puts us in a stronger position to compromise.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of saying this is too much, you might say I need a five-minute break in a quiet space, or could we lower the lighting slightly?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Specific requests feel easier for others to respond to.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Another key counselling skill is boundary setting.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to say what you can and you can't tolerate.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: For example, I'm not able to stay in this environment much longer.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: I need to step away for a moment.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Boundaries aren't about being difficult, they're about maintaining well-being.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Equally important is self-validation.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Many neurodivergent people have been told that the needs are too much or not valid.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Counselling reminds us that our experiences are real and your needs are legitimate.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Communicating them isn't a weakness, it's a form of self-respect.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Finally, it can help to invite collaboration where you have capacity.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you might say, I'd like to find a way that works for both of us.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Can we think of an adjustment together?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: This creates a sense of teamwork rather than conflict.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: In summary, communicating sensory needs involves first recognising them, expressing them clearly and assertively, setting boundaries and validating yourself.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: These are tools for empowerment.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: When we use counselling skills in this way, we don't just advocate for ourselves, we also help others understand and support us better.