Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / the host of A Lights out a Narcissistic Podcast

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the host of A Lights out a Narcissistic Podcast · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Peter: Welcome to another exciting episode of Pete Frickxiety. My guest today, she is the host of the Lights Out Narcissistic podcast, the one, the only Sage Whitney. Sage, welcome in. Let's say hello to everybody. Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. Saige Whitney: me. So my show, A Lights Out Narcissistic Podcast, I compare my relationship with my ex-girlfriend to the demon Diana in the horror movie Lights Out. peter: Show ⁓ Pete: It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. Peter: Jesus. Oh my God. Okay, all right. You know, I did read a little bit about having to do the movie Lights Out and I was like, okay, that was a fucking crazy movie. Like, let's be honest, anybody that's not seen that movie, you gotta go watch that movie. It is intense, especially the ending of it. It's just crazy. I was like, bro, so, so, I just think that's hilarious the way you describe that, but Jesus. All right, well, what we dig into this thing, though? So how did you guys originally meet? Saige Whitney: That is an amazing question. I, about two years ago, I was an activity director working at a skilled nursing facility, which for those who don't know what that is, it's like a elderly folks home with the intent of people rehabilitating themselves through occupational therapy and physical therapy. Peter: ⁓ we lost Sage. Hold on everybody, we lost Sage. Saige Whitney: And so these people go and it's a long-term care. So they live there. They receive those therapies to hopefully leave and go back to their houses. Some people are too old, so they need to stay there probably for the rest of their lives. There are some recovering addicts. It was kind of a sketchy facility. I'm going to be honest. There was some really interesting things going on there. And she was a patient and I met her and within two weeks of knowing her and we were just friends she asked me to marry her. ⁓ ⁓ I remember just feeling so chosen and like I was never going to get married. And there was definitely self-esteem to play of just like, no one's gonna want me, know, like this is my only chance. And so I said, yes. which looking back now that is like such a red flag and very worrisome why is a stranger. Peter: How old were you at the time though when you... Yeah, no, but how old were you? Just give us a little context. Okay, ⁓ so you're 24 and she's 22 at this time. Okay, I'm just trying to get a better context of what situation we're in. Okay, we've all done dumb things as youngers, so that's all right, it makes sense. Saige Whitney: 24 Yeah, absolutely. And it just shows a lot of where I was mentally, self-esteem wise, like, for me to say yes to that text of, you marry me? So, and it really was like, no one's gonna love me. This is my chance. This is my shot. Feeling so chosen. Now looking back, of course I would say no to that, but, you know. Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: That was the consciousness I was at at that time. And so there's sympathy for myself and there's also like, you know, a lot of grief from this, from what ends up happening. So she, I thought we would stay friends until she left the facility because she's young and she can get better. So she wasn't going to stay there a long time. Like she just had lupus, but she told people other stories that I'll get into later. But ⁓ instead of her holding back, she immediately told everybody. So I had to go to management and I just talked to them and I said, hey, this girl says that she's dying and she's scared and she's alone. And she asked me to marry her and I'm not here to keep secrets with you guys. Like, please tell me what to do. and they said, yeah, I, this is a weird situation. We're going to put you on a paid leave and do an investigation. And I said, that sounds fine. So I went on a paid leave. And in that time, they had fast tracked kicking her out of the facility because she had hit on almost, and I didn't know this, of course, this is a year later. I'm finding these things out about what she did in that facility, but she had. Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: problems with every single CNA and she had hit on multiple male nurses and asked them to have sex with her. I didn't know any of this, of course. But, ⁓ so that was interesting. The day she asked me to marry her and I said yes, there was this really nice CNA that came over to me and said, hey Sage, I heard about what's going on and I need you to know that the other day, a gay cna man in her room and she accused him of raping her so i just need you to watch out for that and i went and this was what so interesting is i went and i confronted her about that situation and i was ready for her to blow up and be mad and Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: How dare you accuse me of lying or anything of that? And she just said, ⁓ well, you know, I black out a lot. I'm on a lot of opioids. Sometimes I feel like a lot of people are touching me. So I might've said that. And that was a very interesting reaction for me. Cause I feel like... Peter: Yeah, it seems like very interesting reaction. Based on that alone, it's like, wait, what? Saige Whitney: Yeah, I thought she was gonna freak out, get mad, you know, how dare you accuse me of that, all this stuff. No, it was just like a calm demeanor. And I guess that was the validation I needed to be like, yeah, opioids do really kind of mess up the brain sometimes. And I've seen it, I've been a CNA for five years. So I've seen what opioids can do to the brain. So. Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: That alone was just very interesting. So she ended up getting kicked out. And there was like two weeks there where we were engaged per se. And then there, I wanted to take a break and just have her be my girlfriend for a week. Cause my nervous system was freaking out. And she said, okay. And in that week, I find out a year later that she had sex with a man in the facility. And the CNA I talked to a year later said she walked in on them. Peter: This story just keeps moving by the minute. Saige Whitney: So yeah, okay. Here's another thing. She also told me she was asexual. That's even better. So she told me I don't let anyone touch me. You're so lucky I let you hold my hand. ⁓ And I'm not here to deem people and what their sexuality is. But if you don't wanna touch another woman, but you have sex behind their back while you're dating, Peter: Okay. Yeah. Saige Whitney: It sounds like you really just want a female friendship and you're straight. Peter: Yeah. I mean, it's what it sounds like. mean, but it's like she's a master manipulator at this point. She's manipulating everybody around her. Clearly, she's getting away with it because nobody's really seeing the stories. And then all these things start coming out that you start finding out a year later that all these things started happening. You know, and this is just wild. Like, mean, I've heard some pretty crazy stories recording this show, but this one's starting to become one coming up in the top three now because this is getting interesting. Saige Whitney: Right. So. Yeah. Peter: So take us to a point where you... Okay, all right, all right. Let's get into this thing tomorrow, okay? What else you got for me? Because this is just getting more interesting by the minute. Saige Whitney: ⁓ Pete, we're just at the top of the iceberg. We're just at the tip. Yeah, yeah, there's there's a reason I'm sharing this story with you today and why I started a podcast after this teaching people how to say no and recognize red flags of female narcissists. That's what my podcast is right. So, yeah, that's just the beginning. ⁓ A year later also I figured out she was an opioid addict. Peter: Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Saige Whitney: So she would, while we were together, she would intentionally hit her head and self-harm and hurt herself. So I would drive her to the ER and she could get opioids. Peter: no, and you didn't notice the pattern of her doing that? Saige Whitney: That is what's so interesting. there was, she told me she was dying, had cancer, kidney failure, and gastroparesis, which is a paralysis of the stomach. She did have a feeding tube. and so I believed her. She had this bag of pills that she took around with her and she was in a nursing home. So I really did think she was dying at the time. Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: So she would tell me I slipped in the shower and I fell. ⁓ she also told me she had POTS, which is very interesting too. And I slipped in the shower, I fell and you go to the hospital. ⁓ You know, I, she was just such a good actor. She'd be like, I'm in so much pain, I need to go to the hospital. And there did come a time where my nurse friend was with us. We all went out to Olive Garden. So was me. In my podcast, her name is Asia. So, and because of HIPAA, that will always be her name, because I cannot tell you her real name. So yeah, for sure. So Asia ate a whole Olive Garden meal. And like for someone with gastroparesis, they normally can barely have any food. Like their food goes into their stomach, they're throwing it back up. Peter: Mm-hmm. No, no, I get that completely. Saige Whitney: or their stomach's paralyzed so it's trying to move down the intestinal tract and it's damned. It's slow and it's painful and none of that happened. She ate a whole meal and then after Olive Garden, we were walking through the mall and I had a pizza job at this time. So was wearing a pizza uniform and my friends were making fun of me. So I was like, okay, let me go buy a shirt. So I don't have to wear this through the mall. So I went to H &M, I bought this cute shirt and she was just standing there and she's like, okay, I'm gonna go throw up now. And it just was so weird because when I'm about to throw up, my face goes white. I'm sick, I'm walking slow, I look crappy. She just was like, it was just like normal, just like I'm gonna go throw up now. And I told her, said, sweet, I'll come with you to the bathroom. Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: I need to go change my shirt and I can like hold your hair back or whatever." And she's like, no, don't you dare come into the bathroom with me. Like that is so creepy Sage, you know? And that's when I was like, you're not going to throw up. This is just an act. Like there was things like that, but she played the part so well. Yeah. You know, so it was, there were things and my friend told me a person with gastroparesis. Peter: ⁓ okay. Yeah, things you start noticing after. Saige Whitney: generally should not be able to eat an entire Olive Garden meal from her experience with patients. So there was this pattern of, like she did play the part very well of doing these things. ⁓ Yeah, right. And so there's just so many times, the biggest story I tell people is, Peter: Yeah, a of them do. Saige Whitney: ⁓ this is so crazy. So I had liked this woman when I lived in Southern Utah. And then for mental health reasons, I moved back in with my parents in Northern Utah. And I went through intensive therapy. And that's when I met Asia, I was still going through therapy. So I was pretty vulnerable, for sure. And narcissistic women and men for sure. Peter: Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: They target people like me. Low self-esteem, vulnerable, won't question their crap, kind of afraid of them. They know what they're doing. So I was, Peter: Yeah. Easily manipulated, yeah, those type of things. It's the kind of narcissist that they look for. Saige Whitney: Yeah, yeah. They know what they're doing. They're extremely smart people. And so I had liked this woman and in my podcast, her name is Q in Southern Utah. And when, even when Asia proposed to me and we were together for, I think it was only a month. I don't even know. And I never touched her. We never really did much. I think we pecked a few times, but. Peter: Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: I had, she had told me that while I was sleeping, I was calling out this woman's name in my sleep. and that she had to one night give me a teddy bear to comfort me. I don't know if any of this is true, but at one time while I was sleeping in the hospital with her, because I'd be in the hospital with her like once a week and just sleep on the ground, she looked over at me while this nurse was giving her an IV and woken me up from my sleep. And she's like, who is Q? And I just was like, how do you know? She's like, you call out her name. We don't know if any of that's true. Maybe I did once, but, and I told her, said, she's the woman I'm in love with, but she doesn't love me back. Like I don't, and I just can't get over her. So it's just kind of, she's always going to kind of be there in my psyche and my mind. and so she was really mad about that. She's like, why don't you love me? And I'm like, I don't even know you like, This was kind of a transactional, I'm with you, I kind of had a hero complex at the time, like I'm here to take care of you till you die. Like I'm the hero, you know, whatever. And I teach people in my podcast, don't save people. Like it's their job to fix their life. Don't go and save people. Like work on your own life. You know, we don't need to take on people's trauma. And do this person even want to get better? Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: Like my biggest thing in that relationship was, I'm gonna heal you, you know? And she didn't wanna be healed. She liked being sick and she... Peter: Yeah, she's an addict. doesn't even want help. She's an addict. don't want to. Addicts don't want help. You can't help them though. You know, that's the hardest part is that I think a lot of people seem to forget they try and force people to go into recovery. And it's like you can't force these individuals go into recovery if they want to recover. They'll recover if they don't want to. Then they're not going to do it because you're choosing not to do it because they don't want to. You can't force these individuals to do that. And, you know, it's tough. It's hard at times. You gotta watch them self-destruct sometimes. And that's the hardest part is just watching them hit rock bottom, whatever that rock bottom is for them. You know, and that's the hardest part about it though. Saige Whitney: It is. It is. It's and you know, didn't know she was an addict. I really just thought she was dying and blah, blah. But looking back, it was all the signs of an addict of, you know, every time we'd go to the hospital, Sage, I need my meds. I need pills. I'm in pain. I'm in pain. I'm in pain. ⁓ and the nurse would come in. No, you can't have any. What? Like Sage go out there and convince her otherwise. Like I want to speak to the doctor. Like just, you know, and looking back now, Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah, safe. Saige Whitney: It's like, whoa. But when you're in the thick of it, you just think they are in pain, they are dying, they do have cancer, all that stuff. When all she had was lupus and an iron deficiency. That was it. Peter: Well, we also have to remember though, you're 24th of time. You don't know a lot of things that you know now, you know, going through a lot of these experiences, you know, and a lot of people don't know that don't know what signs to look for, like that kind of stuff, you know, the aggressive behavior, go make them take give me some pills. And it's like, no, because they keep track of those things. He is my ex wife was like that. She's an ex pill addict. And then she would go because she had I can't think what it was called, though, but she had like something right behind her ear. They had to take out a piece of her. her skull right there because she had a really bad infection in there. And she was going through, she was in a lot of pain. So she's like, well, I gotta be careful because they're gonna blacklist me and say that I'm just looking for pills. When she really isn't, she really wasn't, you know, because I was the one that monitored all her pain medications. Whenever she got it, it was a new experience to me because I didn't even know when me and her together, early on she was still doing pills until she got picked up by the cops. And then they found a straw in her bra and things like that, know, things that she would use to do them. He's always weird to me because she always snorts her pills. She never, they never took them normally unless she had to, unless they forced her to. But it was one of those weird habits that she'd go through. But she was on the other side of it though, because she would tell me though, like, hey, one time she slipped up with her and her friend and they had like only a couple of pills. But she came and told me about it and thought I was going to be mad. I'm like, why, why am going to be mad? I mean, you at least admit it to doing this. It's going to happen. Addiction, people with addiction. They tend to make mistakes like that. It's going to happen. My buddy Jay runs a podcast. I do a lot of hanging out with him and stuff. So I learned a lot of stuff about recovery and things like that too, you know. So it was interesting to see some of the signs and things that I avoid miss too, that, you know, she was under a constant state, you know, and we and her, we got together pretty quick and we got married within a year. You know things like that too and then later on it's just like we just started going our own separate ways essentially because she wanted me to be somebody I'm not you know, but she was an expil addict She was an alcoholic and things like that too, you know And it's the same thing with alcohol like take you can't stop these individuals unless they want to stop You know and it's it's a vicious cycle to go through because like she every time she drink enough She turned into a whole nother person and then they turned verbally abusive and things like that too so you know there were some pretty wild ass moments where essentially we had a PTSD moment where she fucking just went nuts and I had to fight her off basically so all the sides are there it's just you just didn't know what to look for until you know Saige Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. You don't know. You don't know until you know. Absolutely. And now I do know, right? The signs and yeah, that's, that's hard. I, I'm so glad her and I never got married. ⁓ I'm so glad her and I never had sex and cause after this experience, Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because you don't know what she could have caught from these other individuals, you know? Saige Whitney: yeah, yeah, she, ⁓ there's so many stories. Peter: Especially that, because you don't know. Especially mixing around, messing around with other people. Yeah, you don't get something Ajax can't take off, as they always say. Saige Whitney: Yeah, telling me she hates sex. Yeah, you know, like that was definitely God protecting me. ⁓ you know, I'm just very grateful that we never had sex and, ⁓ you know, cause any part of my body she would touch after this experience was on fire and I had to energetically remove any part her hands had been. ⁓ and it's harder with Peter: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: womb trauma and stuff like that. When you have sex, it's an energetic exchange. You're giving that person your fears, your sadness, your traumas. And she did have a lot of childhood trauma. The thing with a narcissist is they're lying so much all the time about everything that the only time I could tell when she would actually tell the truth Peter: Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: is if she would tell me a story three times and not change any details. And it was consistent. That's how I knew she wasn't lying. ⁓ So, you know, she had a lot of trauma with her mom. Her mom locked her in a bathroom when she was younger and slid under lettuce under the door and would play her favorite movie and eat her favorite fast food. Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: And she told me that story three times. So I was like, okay, check verified. But then she's telling me that at the facility we were at, the CNA is taking pictures of her while she's in the shower and the CNA cornered her in the hallway and made her listen to a four hour rape fantasy. She never brought any of those things up again. So I knew they were lies. Peter: can't put like, think of the obscurity of what you're saying though. It's like, what? Like, what the hell is going on? I mean, it's like, the things that she's inventing right there alone are just like red flags. It's like, wait, what? Like, you're accusing people of doing these horrendous acts and then it's not really what's going on. It's like, huh? Saige Whitney: ⁓ That was a very Ha! Yeah, and that's the problem is now for the actual survivors of rape, people are less likely to listen to them, be there for them because you have this lady who every day is saying someone's raping her. And so it's just that crying wolf. And I've been through stuff like that and I'm an advocate for people that have been molested, raped, you know, and so it's really disgusting. Peter: ⁓ my god. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Saige Whitney: that you throw that around when there's actual people suffering. Peter: You know, it's not really shocking to hear that a lot of people that have been sexually assaulted, they always get told the same thing. Nobody listens to them. And this is a common thing that just keeps being brought up. This season, we had somebody who came on who was sexually assaulted when she was three. But you don't know. She doesn't know about it. I don't want to the full story, but when the story comes out, it makes more sense after you hear what fully happened. But it was just like. Saige Whitney: Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Peter: You know, it was so crazy because she didn't know. then she the way she finds out is so interesting, though, because, you know, me and another guest a week or two ago, Craig Mayweather, we were talking about a little bit similar to the situation of where it happens, you know, and things like that, too. You know, for anybody hasn't been listening to the show yet, you want to go back and listen to at this point, Holly Haggs episode has come out. She she was an interesting subject. Like I said, the story went from, hey, you know, introduced her to OK, let's go on a ride together, Pete, and just. I'm talking we went everywhere and it was like after 55 minutes I was like okay I gotta tap out I can't I can't do this anymore I gotta I gotta close this thing out this is too much because you know I'm an empath and I and I'm energy sensitive so I'm feeling this like this whole thing going on and I'm like holy shit you know to the point where she goes and says that she was actually being made fun of because she was sexually assaulted so then you hear me go on a five minute rant like how the Saige Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ Peter: I went off, I was pissed because I'm like, how are you gonna seem to make fun of somebody who's been sexually assaulted? Like that's not something she chose to go through and now has to deal with this horrific event the rest of her life, you know, you know, in all the therapy and all the things go through, you know, she, she, you know, and it's just like, it's the same message though. None of them are heard when they say something like we tell these kids every day to say something to someone like, hey, some touching appropriately this she did. And then people are telling her, oh, you're wrong or you're Saige Whitney: Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Peter: You know, and in Holly's case, it was a little different though, because her situation is she didn't even know because when she was three, cut off and, you know, things like that. There's a whole thing that goes, the whole story is there with it though. When it comes out though, it's, it's an interesting one to listen to for sure, because at the time I was recording this, doesn't come out yet. ⁓ So, but it's definitely one to check out for sure, because that story gets really interesting really quick because, know, like she didn't even know. And it's an interesting fact that your brain a lot of times will cut off the memory of those things like that. And you won't remember these things, but you'll remember the moments. Like when I get to that fear of abandonment triggers for me, it's like, you know, I go into the moment, but I don't remember the actual moments, that feeling. And I get there, you know, and it's like, my first reaction is to push people away, you know, and like, ⁓ I'm to get rid of you before you get rid of me kind of thing is that fear of abandonment kicks in, you know, and now I'm dating somebody with BPD. So it's a real interesting aspect added to my life now, because now I have to think about the way I approach certain things, because, you know, with her, Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Peter: She doesn't always understand everything. So like I have to be very tactical of how I say things because sometimes I have to explain it to her, you know, because she doesn't understand a lot of stuff. And a lot of times to her too, there's a constant need of reassurance. She constantly thinks I'm going to leave her, you know, Hey, if you're going to leave me, you know, all these things, all these things always get brought up. it's like, you know, for a lot of people, it's discouraging to deal with it. But for me, since I know a lot about it, I had an expert in the field of BPD come on. I've done a lot of research, you know, how to, how to better handle these situations. Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Peter: But it's just like, it's just been wild. But this story, let me tell you what, we're at number three right now for crazy ass stories. so, okay. So when you decided to do this podcast, did you know what you were doing at this point? Because you're going out there, putting this story out there. Someone may recognize the story of what's going on, but they won't recognize the character names. Because obviously you've changed them for medical reasons. can't, or for legal reasons either way, you couldn't mention their names anyways. Saige Whitney: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Peter: So take us up to the leading steps to the podcast because not everybody thinks, ⁓ hey, listen, I'm going to start a podcast about my ex who's referencing a movie, Lights Out, which for anybody that hasn't seen this movie, I'm telling you, you all have to go watch it. It is a crazy fucking movie. I'm telling you. Saige Whitney: Yes. Yes, and go watch the movie before you listen to my podcast because I am spoiling all of it, all of it. And I tell people that in the beginning, because that's it's it's so parallel to the live ⁓ to Asia, like they're you know, the mom is being isolated by Diana. And that's what narcissists do. They isolate you, they make you feel crazy. And Peter: Okay. Yep. Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: What was so interesting is Diana could only come in when Sophie was mentally unwell. When Sophie was taking her pills, when she was going to therapy, Diana couldn't come in. So what Diana would do, and well, I don't want to spoil the movie, but she would do things to make Sophie get back into that depressive state. And that's what narcissists do. They, you know, they gaslight you. They make you feel like you're nothing. They put you down. Peter: Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: so they can control you. My ex would pay me not to exercise or try to. And I'd be like, what is wrong with you? No, I need to get my body in shape. And it was because it's like, I don't want you getting better. I want you sick because I can control sick. So just so many. Anyways, so yeah, starting this podcast, it was a lot of. I am. I have a story. Peter: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: And I am so traumatized and what do need to do to release this trauma? Well, talking about it, working through with it, all the traumas on pages that I can now burn once I'm done with. So it's that releasing of energy, just get out of my body. I don't want to feel this anymore. accountability and just, yeah, I'm accountable. This all happened because I couldn't say no. At one point she even said, do you want to back out of the marriage? Peter: Yeah. Yeah, but like again. Saige Whitney: ⁓ yeah, you go. You're good. Peter: Yeah, but again, you're young and you don't know what you're walking into. So you have no idea. And she's a master manipulator and she's taking advantage of you. And you don't even realize it. You you being in the situation, too, I've been I'm being a survivor as well. It's like they they gaslight you like you have no idea. The home party listening going, well, you should have just said no. Oh, that's great. Listen, when you want to give me advice, we'll talk about the time I got I got robbed at gunpoint by three people. And then you can tell me what you would have done in that situation. You know, it's like everybody has great advice. Saige Whitney: ⁓ yeah. Peter: But it's not great advice. They don't know. When you're depressed, you're like, oh, cheer up. you're your anxiety, oh, just calm down. I'm glad these are all great things for you. And you all think this shit works that way. It doesn't. You know what I mean? You know the people that understand what you're dealing with versus the people that don't. Now, your podcast, you're sorry. You're just so open about everything about it, because I've been listening to a lot of it. And it's some pretty wild shit. I'm just like, this is some crazy shit. And then when you reached out, I was like, yeah, I got to have her on the show. Like I gotta have her for sure. This is, this is interesting because it's always interesting to meet other podcasters and why they do their shows and things like that too. And this one, like I said, I've been doing for about a year and a half now and I've had everybody come through this, this studio. It's crazy. Some of the people I've had on here, there are a few people, if you're ever interested in doing guests narcissistic related, I've got a few people that I can already link you over to. One of them has a book called bridesmaid. Mia Hank wrote, wrote this book. Saige Whitney: Yeah Peter: And when me and I interviewed, we interviewed, she couldn't have the camera on. And mind you, when I was doing the first season of the show, it's all live. So like I'm talking to her and she has no camera. But Mia grew up actually, Mia's situation was actually 30 minutes away from where I was in the Houston, Texas area when I was living there about the same time period. It was crazy because I knew exactly what areas she was in because we were discussing it a little bit off the camera. I said, hey, so what part of Texas are you in? She mentioned it. We were talking about it. And I was like, That's crazy because I was 30 minutes west of where you were. know exactly what area you're in. You know, this whole thing going on. And Mia had got married to a covert narcissist, you know, and as we all know, covert narcissists will make themselves look like the greatest person of all. My mom kind of had a lot of those traits as well, you know, but it was interesting because my, my first girlfriend at the time we were together 15 years, she and I, she was a narcissist heavy gas light, you everything under the sun. Saige Whitney: Wow. Yes. Mm-hmm Peter: did all these other things, ended up cheating and things like that too. And then I found out she was cheating. I found out her friends found out. Which I thought was, really think about it at first, why it was really weird. Like one of her friends that she was really close with stopped talking to her all of a sudden. And then my friend that I had met when I was working down there, we were good friends for a long time and she just stopped talking to me. Well, I don't want to be around if she's around and didn't tell me what happened. Apparently she was hitting on her husband at her sister's baby shower. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Saige Whitney: What? Peter: Okay, so then the other friend is she was really close with turns out she knew she was up to no good and said, listen, if that's what you're going to do to him, I'm just not going to talk to you because I don't want to be a part of this. And her own friends were turning against her like, Hey, I want no part of this shit. Yeah, that's what she said. She said, you need to tell them that you're just not happy and just move on. Don't do that to him. He's too good to you, you know, all these other things. And, know, I wasn't the greatest person to be around at the time either. So I do accept my fault in it. Saige Whitney: But tell him! Yeah. ⁓ Yeah. Peter: But that was just like, that was wild to find that out later on. they were all, I found out later on, they were all telling me, and I talked to the husband, not the wife, the husband told me, he's like, well, she wants to be a part of this. I'm like, listen, man, I'm just looking for some closure. That's all. I just want to know what it is you knew and why it is you all just disappeared all of a sudden. And he was like, that's what happened. Jade told her that she didn't want to be a part of this situation and that she doesn't agree with what you're doing. If this is what you're going to do, I don't want to be a part of this because... Saige Whitney: Yeah. Peter: That's not right to him. You know, he's at home taking care of the kids because I was working 45 hours a week plus, you know, coming home, taking care of the kids and she was never home. So during Hurricane Harvey, she disappeared right before the hurricane hit. So I was left with the kids and my buddy was staying with me at the time. He needed a place to stay. So I let him crash my couch for a little bit. Him and I took care of the kids while she was off hanging out with the dude she was cheating with over there. And I didn't know like what was going on. She said it was her friend. Saige Whitney: Yeah. Right. Yep. ⁓ ⁓ that's so gross. Peter: Her friend needed help and this and that. And I was like, okay, whatever, know, are you going to be back in time before the storm hits? Yeah, you know, ⁓ no, I'm trapped over here now. All of a sudden I can't get there because there was a lot of flooding around us. So we were locked in where we were for like five, five, five days at least. It was like five days of just flooding around us. And we had to wait for the water to recede and things like that too. My buddy and I worked in the same place. So me and him were taking care of the kids and things like that. And she had disappeared and all this other crazy shit. And it was, it's insane, man. It really is. Saige Whitney: that is just, it's so heartbreaking because these people don't have gratitude. She wasn't grateful you were taking care of her kids. She expected it. And that's gross. You deserve someone that would say, hey, thanks for taking care of my kids and I want to be around you and I want to give back to you. No, there's no giving back. They'll gift you with little Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, I have that. I have that now, though. You know, I have a really great server system. Saige Whitney: Yeah, yeah, you know, and we, we live and we learn and, but you didn't deserve that at all. Peter: Yeah. I don't think anybody deserves that. Honestly, just think honesty would have just been the best thing. Just be honest, you're not happy. We could have just went our own separate ways. You know, we didn't have to go down that road, but you know, me and her are in a talking mode. We talk now better than we did before, because the kids are mine. So they're my three daughters. So we talk about it. One of mine is actually getting ready to graduate in May. So I'll be up there to see her because they live in the Chicagoland area now. And I'm here and still in Texas where I'm at now. So it's like... Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Peter: It's nice, know, me and my ex wife, we were separating after that wonderful conversation happened that that got real ugly to, you know, basically told her I had thoughts about taking my own life and she told me to make her the 13th reason why. That's one. Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Holy cow, no sympathy. like, and there's a space, and I'm seeing this a lot in my life, where in one week, I had two different men that didn't even know each other, told me, I will never be told I'm pretty, and men don't get flowers. And both these men, once again, did not know each other in one week, told me it is so lonely being a man. and we're on our own. And then you get women that can't even hold a space for a man when he's suicidal, suffering. And I've seen that a lot in our society is that, and there's a... Peter: Yeah, we're going to get 177,000 in 2026. Saige Whitney: Ugh, and it's heartbreaking. Peter: And that we're not sure what percentage in the percentage of men is probably 80 % of those are men. He said every year it's 80 % of those numbers are men in the age of 40 to 40. I think it was 3035 to 40 range. I know young kids around 10 to 14 are coming up pretty fast to their their numbers rising really quick to and they've went up actually in the last few years, which is just insane. Saige Whitney: ⁓ yeah, and I believe a big part of that is pornography. Pornography makes you feel like crap. You watch that stuff, you're disconnected from your body. Yeah. Peter: We don't. I think it's the Internet itself. Honestly, if you think about it, think about it like where we were, you know, like I'm 40. So, OK, so when I grew up, we didn't have the Internet much. Facebook wasn't even there. had we had AOL online was the closest thing the Internet you had. You know, they say the chat rooms. OK, now these guys have all this information at their fingertips. They have this way to get bullied in many different ways. You you Facebook, Instagram, all these other places where I'm at. You just see all these things that are happening. And it's just like. Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Peter: lot of it's because these kids are getting bullied and it's just crazy. My co-host of another show I do, ⁓ she and I were talking about this. She said that the suicide rates in young kids in her area are really high. And I'm just like, this is insane. This is what we're talking about these days. It's like, we're not doing anything about these problems, you know? And it's insane, it really is. Yeah, it's crazy, it really is. Saige Whitney: ⁓ Right. That's where I want to start. Yeah, absolutely. Like my biggest thing is right now, if like I took that as a sign from God, absolutely. These were unrelated men. And I tell every woman now, ⁓ go compliment your man today and go send him flowers or do something like that because we're not allowing men to be seen and we're not giving them a space. Peter: Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: to talk about their feelings, right? You said, I'm not doing good. She's like, go kill yourself then, right? So that's happening a lot in society. Men can't talk with other men because they're like, I hate to say this word, but men say it a lot. ⁓ stop being a pussy, which is disgusting. Why can't we be like, man, I'm so sorry. I'm here for you, man. Like if you want to talk, like, you know, I was just telling my buddy, if I was a man and I got broken up with, I would probably have to go and like, Peter: Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: go crash my car or like burn down a building or something because no women would listen to me because women are going to call me weak and then my guys are going to call me a pussy. So for me to go get out those feelings of being broken up with or sad, I got to go do something crazy. Like, and I recognize that as a woman, I am given space by my girlfriends, my mom, people in my life, but are we doing that for men? Not really. We're not. Peter: Mm-hmm. No, that's a really good point. is. And it does. It really does. We need to stop demonizing men for having feelings and having these thoughts. like, know, luckily I have a good support system of friends and things like that. My girlfriend, Danny, is really supportive of everything you do and stuff like that, too, you know, and things like that. So it gets really interesting, though, because, know, you run into a lot of these people that they feel like they're not being heard. And then, you know, we just I just had a good friend, Dr. Sheena said to her. Saige Whitney: And we need to, it needs to happen. Yes. Peter: Husband just lost his friend in combat vet, you know, so I'm not sure if it was suicide related or not. I'm still waiting on all the details, but you know, it's, it's just, it's crazy though. You know, the things that you hear and then the, what was that? The whole men's mental health month thing where that lady did that video that just sparked out so much outrage and people are just shocked. It's like, what are you shocked about? Like this woman's over here making fun of people's mental health. It doesn't even have to be men. know what it's like, you're doing these things and then her whole family members are like, well, I'm sorry that she did this. It's like, Saige Whitney: ⁓ gosh. Peter: I get that, but at the same time, it's like, now everybody's having to deal with the aftermath of what she's doing, and then the numbers keep going up. it's like, you see all these crazy things. I think the UFC fighter, can't remember what his name is. He's like, Ben killed themselves every single day and no one talks about it, goes. But it's funny though, they'll talk about everything else. It's the craziest thing ever. And it's the push now more than ever. When I started this show, it was... Saige Whitney: ⁓ yeah. Yes! Yes. Peter: That was the statistic that scared the hell out of me. was like, you know, we did an episode on another podcast I did prior to this one and we had talked about that, you know, we were looking at the numbers and numbers were just scary. It's like, dude, then why are we not talking about this more? And then a real like that argument. ⁓ we are. We're talking about it. Okay. So then why is the number key going up then if we're talking about these things, we're worried about these things. We're worried about asking questions about people that we see in these. You know what I mean? It's like, it's just insanity. Like we're not talking about it enough. Honestly, like you see these videos where people are putting it weird. We were just having a group conversation yesterday in fact about this. from uncle Jimmy's podcast, Maddie, my co-host from voice of the voices and I and Marin Acosta, a host of the unapologetic and Marin the cornbread conicals. We all got together and we had this conversation. We were talking about this and we had said that it's interesting that that that's what happens. So it's like they say we're talking about these things, but then we're not. Saige Whitney: or not. Peter: Like it's like, okay, you know, even even them to afford their medical, their insurance and stuff, their medications. This is crazy. Like we can't even afford those these days. Like they're taking medications or like $3,500 apiece. It's crazy. Like it's the system so broken. It's like it is, it really is. And it is scary that these younger girls see these other girls doing these things and the internet's a really, can be a ⁓ plus or minus kind of thing for people. Cause, cause think about it, like all these things we're posting, these younger kids are seeing Saige Whitney: Yeah, it's disgusting. Yeah, it is. Peter: What are we teaching them these days? That it's okay to demonize people for having feelings and dealing with these issues and, you know, all these other kinds of things like that, you know, and then more people talking about it. But then when you talk about it at the same time, you get demonized about talking about it. Oh, go to a crazy house. You're crazy. Cheer up. All these stupid ass things get said and it's disgusting. It really is. Saige Whitney: Yeah. It is disgusting. it's just like, why, you know, there's I went to a seminar a few weeks ago, and it was called I have the I love you bro project. And it was this big Samoan man in Utah who holds men's group meetings for free are all around Utah. So they can go and just cry. And it's a safe place for men to talk. And the statistic, cause he has all his people take surveys and the statistic was if you're feeling suicidal, how many people, what percentage can turn to their wife? 18%. Peter: That's scary. And these are supposed to be your partners. Think about it. Think about it. These are the people, these are your partner. You should be able to come and talk to them about these things. And only 18 % of them can actually come and talk to them. The statistic there is just insane. Saige Whitney: That's horrible. Mm-hmm. That says it all. What are we doing as a society, as women? And I support the women's right movement, absolutely. I'm definitely feminist, but I also wanna be a voice for men too, for everybody. I love everyone. So what are we doing as women to not give a safe space for him to say, hey, I'm feeling suicidal right now. I'm not doing okay right now. Can I talk to you? ⁓ Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Saige Whitney: And so that's what he says is a lot of women are like, hey, can he come talk to you about his feelings? He's like, you need to learn how to make a safe space for him to talk to you. Because why can't he talk to you about that? And that's something to think about, you know? Peter: Exactly. That's that's that's what me and Danny have, though. That's what we're so great for us, though, is that we have that space where we could talk about things like that, even though it may some things may upset her or she may understand them. You know, it's a complete open space and it goes both ways for her. She'll tell me how she's feeling. I'm feeling we're not in the same state yet, but she's talking about moving to Texas eventually with me. So that's that's the plan. But it's like it's it's nice because we can talk about anything. So I'm having a rough day, you know, and things you'll notice like different patterns and things like that to that go through. Saige Whitney: Yeah, good. Peter: and stuff like that too. But I open my DMs to lot of people. I've had a few people contact me and tell me they're considering suicide. I've had to use 980 several times. Maddie actually this week admitted that she had to call 980 as well and things like that too. And it's just like, it's just crazy, man, that this, you know, but you're right though. It's like, you know, but that number still haunts me. It's like 18 % of this group out of a hundred percent of those people that are there, 82 % of them can't say anything to anybody. And it's like, what about those 82 %? Saige Whitney: great. Yeah. 18%. Peter: you know, what if they all committed suicide? Think about that. See 80 % right there of men every year that are killing themselves because they don't have a space to go to, or there's nobody that listened to them or they feel like they're not being heard in things like that too. And it's just, it's insanity. Saige Whitney: Yeah. It is it's it's an epidemic. And you know, and so that's why I'm telling women right now, we need to, you know, and I believe a lot of this craziness on the internet right now with like the Manosphere. If you heard about that on Netflix. A lot of these guys just, they say they love women, but they're like, women need to be controlled. Women don't know what they want. Women shouldn't vote, you know, just gross things. No, I don't agree with any of that. That's what, and I, you know, I know there's some childhood trauma there. I also believe it comes from A, feeling utterly alone and unseen and they're just mad. And it's just projecting. And then B, not ever having that space by a woman to talk about their feelings. Peter: Yeah, I don't agree with that whole thing. Yeah, no. Yeah. Saige Whitney: and to feel safe and so it's just coming out. And I'm seeing that like I just watched the Manosphere on Netflix and it was horrific because there's all these young boys and there's this guy walking and he's like women shouldn't vote there's all these nasty things and these boys are so excited to see him. And these are this is our growing society and it was really hard for me to see because I was just like I don't want, when I have kids, I don't want my son to look up to someone like that. I want him to look up to a good man with integrity who encourages women to become architects and astronauts and all those things and not to vote and just weird. It was hard to watch on Netflix, but I do believe there's... Yeah. Peter: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have to watch it. I haven't watched it in a while. You do believe sorry I cut you off from your thought. Saige Whitney: you're fine. You kind of got cut off. Yeah, I do believe there is ⁓ kind of trauma with women, you know, and it's not okay what they're doing. They're accountable. Absolutely. ⁓ I do believe some of that could stem from not being given a space to feel safe, not feeling seen. You know, like, all these guys I've been talking to are like, yeah, you're invisible. If you're a man. You're completely invisible. Peter: Yeah, isn't it scary? That's scary though. These are guys that are telling you they're invisible because they feel invisible. And the gentleman in Utah doing all those get togethers and things like that too. it's just crazy. That's just, you know, it just spoils my blood because it's like, dude, everybody's like, oh, we're talking about mental health more. Okay. Well, apparently not. Because according to this statistic, 82 % of these guys can't talk about it. So where are they going to go to talk about it? Nowhere, because there's no space provided for them. Saige Whitney: And so. Mm-hmm. Peter: You know, and it's it's the scary thing about it. It's just like, and then it's like you expect us to do so much. And then it's like the archaic thinking of, well, the man should be the breadwinner. And when it's not like that anymore, society is not like that anymore. We're not we're not living in that era anymore. You know, and and it's a lot of the old old world thinking of that kind of thing like that. Or like that guy said, said that one guy is walking on the street telling these kids women shouldn't have rights. And this is like, oh, God, stop, please stop. Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Peter: It's just horrible. It goes both ways. Saige Whitney: Yeah, it's just Mm Yeah, it does. And I tell women too, you need to stop saying you hate men and their monsters. Because when someone believes they're a monster, they become one. We're not giving them a chance to prove they can be an amazing, loyal, you know, woman supporting man because a lot of women are just like, I hate men, they're monsters. Well, then you're not even giving someone that chance. And if some and I do believe in the Manosphere, a lot of these guys are just like, ⁓ you think I'm a monster? Okay, I can be a monster. We gotta stop saying that. Everyone is a human being that has potential and growth and love. And so no one's, you're not a monster just because of your gender. Peter: Yeah. No, I do. Yeah. Yeah, but you know, lot of there's no, think a lot of the lot of the bad behavior gets put out there and that's what you run into a lot of these women like Danny's history of men was just terrible. Like all these guys she's been with before me are all just horrible. And all her friends call me the green flag because I don't do the same things that all these other guys do. Like I don't try and control her. I don't do any of stuff. Like she needs space. You take that space. You're good. Well, hey, listen, I need a little time to myself. OK, take that time. I'm here if you need me. You know where to find me. Saige Whitney: You know, I really don't like... Yeah. Yeah. Peter: And it's so weird because she's like, I don't know what to do with nice is what she used to say in the beginning. She's like, what do I do with nice? I don't know what you do with nice. Like, you you take it and you run with it because you have it now. You know, you know, you're not having to deal with the same bullshit you dealt with on a daily basis. Like, and she told me she used to fight some of her dudes, too. She had to fight some of these guys and all this crazy stuff she used to tell me. And I'm just like, huh? Like what? I don't do any of that shit. No, man, I'm good. You know what mean? And it's like, it's the same thing with men, too. It's like, you know, Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. ⁓ my gosh. Yeah. Peter: And it's the same thing with women too, because they're like, ⁓ well, she's crazy. But is she really crazy though? That's my question though. It's like, is she though, or did something cause her to get upset to be that way? And now you're portraying it like that because, you know, she's just reacting to something she's been dealing with, you know? And like you said, you had those two guys that told you those things and it's just like, I don't get it. I don't get why we have to do these. That's what saying. It's just weird. You know what I'm saying? It's just like, what? Saige Whitney: Hmm. Yeah, one week. Peter: You know, know, I mean, it's just like it's just it's I don't get it, man. Like, I just don't get it. Why we all can't we need to stop brainwashing these kids to think that this shit's OK, because what are we teaching these young kids by posting this crap online? You know, or it's the guy that I met the other day. He was telling me that if you're depressed, go back to when you're 18. I'm like, but what if I hated myself when I was 18? I'm like, that that's the worst advice you could give somebody ever. It's like I had to space myself and he got upset when I spaced myself. Saige Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. Right. Peter: Like dude, I can't be a part of that. I don't agree with anything you're saying. You have no factual base to what you're saying. You're out there selling snake oil to people and you're telling them this crazy notion that, you know, next year you're going to start telling people, listen, if you're depressed, just cheer up. And it's not, that's not the way, man. It just doesn't work like that, unfortunately. You know, it's just like, I've sat here, recorded 300 of these episodes and let me tell you that I've heard some wild statements being made here. Okay. So there's one, I'm going to tell you the story about this woman that came in my studio. Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. No, it doesn't. Peter: I didn't use the interview because I just couldn't. just, I absolutely couldn't do it because 20 minutes into this interview, she started going, hey, you don't chop enough wood so you're not a man. Saige Whitney: Okay. Peter: I'm like, who, what? Like we were having a great conversation and all of sudden it went to that. That's what I'm saying. Saige Whitney: ⁓ my gosh, what does that even mean? Right. We need to stop. Yeah. Peter: I'm like, I can't, I can't use this. was telling people, was just like, ⁓ Saige Whitney: Okay, what, like that's what I'm saying is, yeah. Peter: It gets better Sage. It gets better, okay? So there's a guy I had sitting across from me. I had a guy sitting across from me real quick. All right. Okay. He literally said 15 minutes into this interview that he had thought about killing himself that morning and we were live on YouTube. Mind you, we're live. This is a live interview that we are conducting. Is this conversations happening? He's like, he's talking to me and you can tell he's a little upset about something. So he's, he mentions that his friend had taken his own life in December. Uh, and he said, yeah, you know, I'm still a little broken up about it. And I was like, and he said, well, I was sitting here this morning. I had the gun in my hand. Saige Whitney: ⁓ that's so sad. Peter: I was thinking about killing myself this morning. was at the edge of the bed. He's 15 minutes in this interview. He's describing this. And I'm just like, oh my God, this is not happening. This is not happening. We are live on this show. doing this live show and we're on YouTube and a couple other places. And I'm like, oh God, we're going to get banned. This is going to be it. This is going to be the conversation against this band. And we're midway through, halfway through season one. We're not even through the beginning of the year. This is the first interview of the year. And I'm just like, oh my God. Saige Whitney: No. Peter: Here we go. You know, and I knew it, we get to one of these conversations, but I didn't think it happened like that. You know, he just came out of the left field. He's a, Hey man, can I tell you something? And he started telling me about it. And he was a lot better after he got it off his chest, but it was just like, it was so shocking. I had to have somebody go back and listen. say, listen to me in favor. Can you go back and listen to this interview and tell me that this is not what he just said. It's somebody who's listening to you. goes, Oh yeah, he said it, dude. He came back to it. In fact, he goes, it circles back to it. And I'm just like, Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Peter: ⁓ my God, dude. And was my first experience with that conversation of just that level of kind of like craziness that had happened on the show. You know, and it was the number one conversation craziest moment in the show until this season's opener. That one now took the cake. Like that conversation got wild. Like I didn't see the part coming because she goes like I went to the basement. I drank bleach and I cut my wrists and her brother found her bleeding to death in the basement. And I'm like, Saige Whitney: Well, yeah. Yeah. Peter: Wait, what? What? You hear me just like, ⁓ what? And I'm just like, ⁓ my god, what? And I didn't know that this is a person that I interact with on TikTok a lot because you know, she's in my my agency. it's like, you know, she's like, hey, I got a story. I'd like to come and share my story. Little did I know, that's not even the craziest parts of the story. That's where it just went, whoa, holy shit. She had a whole list of things that happened beforehand, you know. Saige Whitney: Right, right. Peter: Like being in this space, I just like, could tell you right now that every time I hit record, I'm not shocked by anything I hear going out of this point. Like literally these conversations could go anywhere, anytime, any place, you know, there was a few ⁓ suicide prevention videos, or suicide awareness videos we had done. ⁓ One girl, ⁓ one lady is actually the mother of a couple of kids. had. Saige Whitney: That's good. Peter: She had told us about the time that she had had to tell her kids that dad took his own life and explained it to him in the colors. Like dad's all black, da da da da, you know, and like having to explain it to two kids that are like 10 and seven had to be the hardest conversation ever, but the most honest conversation you'll ever have with these kids, you know. So, ⁓ and then there was the girl that told us that she was telling us from the perspective, but we didn't know that she was the one that tried to commit suicide though. Saige Whitney: the right. Peter: So the conversation goes as she said that the dude was freaking out, abusing her, then left and came back. And that's all you could tell from her point of view. So at this point, she hasn't revealed what had happened. So what happened is that she took a gun to her head, pulled the trigger, missed her brain, and was laying there bleeding. And the guy, the abuser, the abuser was freaking out. But we didn't know that from this perspective at the interview when this happened. She was talking to us. And then she mentioned what had happened and he was freaking out because she had shot herself but didn't kill herself. And she was sitting there in a state of delusion. She didn't know what was going on. She just knew something had happened. He was freaking out. And that's what it was that she had taken a gun and shot herself, you know, things like that. And then I was like, holy crap, like, you know, this story was intense. I was like, dude, what is going on? This is is wild. Like I had a feeling this is where it was leading to. But, know, then we got to that point and I was just like, holy shit, I'm not even shocked because I'm like, I already had a feeling. Saige Whitney: Yeah. Peter: You know, and you'll learn, I learned doing these interviews and things that you learn like different dialogue people use. So like you can tell a lot of people's situations based on the things they'll say to you, like little words they say, the way they present things to you, the way they mention things, the way they stop talking about certain parts. Like, okay, so think about it, like people are sexually assaulted, a lot of them will say certain dialogue in a certain context of like, Saige Whitney: Can I ask what? Yeah. Peter: Well, I had something happen when I was younger, you know, and then they kept telling, no one listened to me. Those things start getting said. like, you'll know those things, but you know, instinctly, I'll know what's going on. Most other conversations, sometimes it's just a sense I get because I'm really good at reading energy. So like I can read people's energy when they start talking about certain things. So it's hard to pinpoint a lot of them, but certain conversations, you'll know the direction they're going based on what it is. Well, you know, I was assaulted and things like that. You know, he, did some things to me or something, you know, like they'll, they'll hint at things, but they won't say what they are. Saige Whitney: Okay, yeah. Mm-hmm. Peter: And I usually I stopped the conversation for that point. I'm like, you know, okay, I already know what's going on, but instinctly I'll know what it is. And it's hard to tell sometimes to people what it is unless you really know what to look for. Like you listen for the tone of the voice they're using, the things they're saying. And it's just like this sense of energy I get from them, like reading their energy in the room. Like you could read what they're thinking at the time. A lot of times, you know, based on the things they'll say and they'll hint at things. And it's, from doing the show. Like I said, I've done enough of these interviews and things. I start to look for different things. So like every time I'm talking to a lot of people, I'm sitting there pinpointing a lot of things about them ahead of time in my head, I'm making the assumptions, the guesses ahead of time. Like, okay, I wonder how close to this I am in 99 % of the time. I'm actually very accurate at it. At this point, I've been very close to lot of times telling a lot of people, you know, things. it's, it's interesting to find out because I was, I've been energy sensitive for a while now and I didn't know that's what this sensation was that I'd had, you know, in things like that too. But it was just an interesting conversation to have, needless to say. Saige Whitney: That is very interesting. completely agree. Like you can kind of, there are certain types of body language and definitely things unsaid that you can tell. Yeah. And I'm, I'm actually talking to a lot people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm actually talking to a lot of people right now about if you are an empath, protecting your energy. Peter: Yeah. Yeah, you know what saying? Like you could piece together a conversation. Saige Whitney: So you gotta have energetic boundaries, because you are taking on these people's energy, right? And then you feel like crap afterwards. So before meeting with anyone, I would set an intention, I'm not gonna be taking on this person's energy. I'm gonna hold the space for them. I'm gonna love them. They're gonna feel my love, but their energy is their own, and I'm feeling my own. And I'm gonna have an energetic bubble around me blocking that. Because if not, you do take on. Peter: Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: their energy, especially if you can touch them, you can take away their pain. You have that ability. So if you touch someone with your left hand, you need to make sure that energy in your mind's eye is immediately going out your elbow. Cause you're taking away someone's pain. have that ability. It's an, it's a beautiful thing, but it's those boundaries and that hygiene or go wash your hands with cold water. So I'm telling empaths this because Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: Like with narcissists, they know you're an empath and they're going to pump that divine energy out of you quick. They don't have the light. They've rejected the light. They live in the dark. So they have to go and steal it from other people. And so that's why you feel drained when you're done with a narcissist because they pumped that divine energy out of you. So having those boundaries. ⁓ Yeah, this person will not be stealing my energy today. I will hold space for them. Love them. Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, I agree. Saige Whitney: Yeah. So I've been working on that with empaths for sure. And yeah, and you know, being able to say no, which took me forever. I had to look in the mirror, say no 50 times a day. I don't want to do that just to reclaim my power. Because yeah, sometimes people would, well, all the time people would push me into doing something I didn't want to do. So now I, you know, I'm saying, no, I don't want to do that. I don't feel comfortable with that. ⁓ you know, or yes, I do want to do that. And I will have an allotted hour to do that. Setting those boundaries to protect yourself because you have a gift and it's a beautiful thing. ⁓ yeah. And so, yeah. Peter: Yeah, I learned early on about how to protect myself from a couple of friends I had met that are energy healers and things like that. You know, and it was funny because every time I meet one and being two others right afterwards, the interviews right after it all energy. And it was so funny because it's like boom, boom, boom, they all come in pairs and things like that, too. So, you know, it was an interesting thing as well, because a lot of them are saying the same thing, because I did feel it at first. Now I do so many of them. It's I've gotten better at it. So I know how to better help myself like Monday. I'm been running the gauntlet, man. think it's been a while since I've it though. think one time I did six interviews in a row. I was, I was pumping these things out left and right, which way, every which way, you know, in in the fun fact, people didn't know. Like, I mean, it sounds fucked up when I say the fun fact, but the fact is that the room I was in in the first season, ⁓ it was the only room I never left that room hardly ever. I was in such a bad depressed mode. I take on their energy and then afterwards I'd just be welling in my own self pity and things like that. And it's just like, I'd never leave the room. never stepped, I go to the room to get something and come back. And I spent a lot of my time in that side room by myself in the darkness alone because it was so dark, you know, and I work overnight. So like I w I was doing nights and everything. I'm coming home recording the show five days a week. You know, lot of the episodes, like I said, in the first season, we're all live interviews. So you can see all the live interviews I've done with all these different people. Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Peter: you know, and things like that too, and stuff like that. But it was just like, a lot of people didn't know that, it's how bad I struggled. And you know, when it was just like, when I told people, man, the look on their face, like, well, I'd never even know, because I didn't want you to know, you know, that's, that's the thing. I didn't want you to know how bad I was struggling because like, I get when people are like, oh, hey, I'm sorry. And it's like, to me, I just don't want to hear that. That's just my preference. Now this is not everybody, you know, don't we take this as anything, but you know what I mean? It's just, it's, it's just crazy. you know, and things like that. And then had I known how, how fast this show is taken off, it's, crazy though, as much as I, I'm, like I said, I I'm almost out to July booking people now, mind you, that's three to four people a day. I'm talking to on Mondays and Tuesdays and things that I'm recording a side project. And then Wednesdays I get together with a few other podcasters and we just, we just talk about mental health in general, you know, Jimmy being the host of Jimmy's little Jimmy's podcast, my friend, Maddie, a lot of times we have a third person who usually joins us. Saige Whitney: Yeah. Peter: So, you know, things like that too. We invite other people to come join us, you know, things like that. And we'll get together and then I'll do guest spots on their shows. Like tomorrow I'm doing one with, I can't remember what the hell it's called now. That's that's trauma or something like that. I don't even remember half of these I get into. Like, you know, the funny story is like I forgot I signed up for some of these too. I told my buddy Jimmy that the other day, too. I was like, Jimmy, I forgot to sign up for your podcast, man, just so you know, until you messaged me today, day before St. Airy, we still aren't doing this thing. Saige Whitney: Yeah, I did that. I totally get that, yeah. Peter: And he gets, you know, it's funny though, but I've met so many cool friends that way. Like my friend, Melissa, hosts the Mostly Unavailable podcast. I forgot I signed up for her show and I was like, ⁓ damn, I forgot. And then she messaged me. I was like, ⁓ that's right. I did sign up for this thing. All right, let's go do this. Little I know what conversation we were going to have and things like that too. So, you know, it's been fun though. So my question though to you is though, after this podcast is done, Saige Whitney: Right. Peter: Are you going to do something else now that you've you've trashed it? So you plan on maybe doing something, some interviewing on your own or talking to people or even doing like something energy based or impacts and things like that. You maybe doing like a weekly course for them or something. Saige Whitney: would love to in my podcast, I do talk about how to start setting boundaries, because everyone's like, just set boundaries, just say no, it's not that easy. It's not, especially when you've been told your whole life to be a good girl, just do what you're told just, you know, and so I do have steps and I talk about it in my third episode that's coming out soon, that to start saying no, just get used to Peter: Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: saying that word in the mirror, or just start saying no in the mirror, and then start setting little boundaries. And with adults, it's scary. So I tell them, start with children, because children love to just touch you inappropriately or whatever. And so, and that happens with me literally every time I'm with a child. So before I would laugh or whatever, but now I'm really working on saying, can't do not touch me there. Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: please don't touch me there, that is a boundary. So just setting those little energetic boundaries, starting somewhere with anyone and then slowly working your way up to adults. I would love to have a, yeah, maybe a course about that and definitely protecting your energy as an empath. And I have been collaborating with some other podcasters about just having guests and... Peter: Yeah. Saige Whitney: people that have also survived narcissistic abuse and showing you can still have a beautiful life after narcissistic abuse. Absolutely. Peter: Sign me up. Sign me up. I'm there. I'm there. You just have to tell me when and where. I promise I'll forget. I'll forget about the day, but I'll be there. No, listen, like if you're interested, if you're interested in gas, I do have some people that fall in that category. We had a really great author that wrote a book on how to deal with narcissists. C.F. Mickey was her name, but she was really great. She's she's ⁓ she's a grandmother and things like that, too. And she had dealt with her husband who was a narcissist and she had wrote a whole book about it. Saige Whitney: Okay, deal. I'll have you on my show. Okay, I'll send you 15 reminders. Peter: and stuff like that. And I met her through one of these, I did a national publicity summit the first time around. I had done one in October during the first season of the show. I got reached out to, so I met her there and I've met a lot of really cool people. So yeah, if you're interested in hosting guys, ⁓ you know, definitely that'd be something kind of cool to see, you know, and you know, there's another woman, I don't know what she's up to, but she runs a podcast called you have the power. I'll have to see if she's up to do an interview, but she has an interesting story too about narcissism as well. Saige Whitney: I am. Peter: Like she was doing hers for a little bit. I think she had to stop due to financial reasons and things like that too. But she was really interesting too. So I'll have to see what she's up to and stuff like that. But yeah, you know, it sounds like a pretty exciting time. So like how many episodes are we planning for this show? The current one now? Like how many pieces of the story do we have? Saige Whitney: Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ I still have. let's see. I'm barely getting to the part where we decided to go down to St. George, which is where she held me emotionally captive and I couldn't leave and go back. So we're on the precipice of that on episode three right now. So that's also interesting because I kept, she decided to pass out. Peter: Okay, okay. Okay. Saige Whitney: And she told these doctors, all these things. so she was, this is when we were in Vegas and cause St. George and Vegas are very close. They're about an hour away. St. George is Southern Utah. Vegas is like two hours away. So we were down on vacay in St. George and she's like, let's go to Vegas for a night. Cause it's so close. we did. And then she decided to pass out and Peter: Mm-hmm. Okay. Saige Whitney: I just don't think she wanted to leave ⁓ Vegas. So she, but she was just sitting there. She's like, I can't get up. And I'm like, what are you like, just like, it was just like, just such an act all the time. Like I can't get up. So we, I was in Vegas and I tried to go home and she said, if you go home, I'm going to die and you're going to feel like, shit Sage, I'm going to die in my sleep. And you just left a dying girl. And it was just that emotional. lock and key she had on my brain. Like, yeah, I could have left, but what if she died and I just abandoned her and just, you know, so, because I needed to go back to work. had a pizza job. I was a manager and I had an emotional breakdown. I ended up, yeah, I ended up texting my manager. I'm, I have no way how I'm going to leave Vegas. I don't even know how I'm going to get home because I am stuck with this person. Peter: Got the pizza job, yeah. Saige Whitney: that won't let me leave. And she had grandparents, she had support and stuff, but just like just that control. And so the craziest part is she had gone to the hospital and then in Vegas, then transferred to another hospital to stay there longer. And within two days of her being in this second hospital, she had a Tinder profile and ⁓ It said literally the text she sent me. was like the text she sent me was her Tinder bio. I'm dying. I want someone to be with me before I pass away. Please love me, you know? And this guy had showed up and yeah, on Tinder, he showed up, brought her flowers and the second day he proposed to her. Peter: But Tinder? What the fuck? Okay. What the hell, Sage? Sage is like, hey, it's your problem now, bro. I have a problem with this. Oh my God, I'm looking forward to this third episode now. I'm like, oh hell no, I got to hear this. This shit's going to be wild. Like, I'm just, I'm looking forward to this. So, but Sage, we're at the part of the interview. I'm going to ask you two questions. I don't know if you've, if you've ever watched any of the interviews. So you may know the question is about to come to you. So my question to you. Saige Whitney: So that, and I was grateful for him. Yeah, Peter: is if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? ⁓ not watching the video there is under this she's literally thinking about this one really hard ⁓ I told the great question Saige Whitney: ⁓ What came to my head was the Reba song, I'm a Survivor. That's where my head goes. Is I'm a Survivor. Peter: That's good though. mean, that's Rebus the first entry into this question is after I've been asking this to people. I actually bought it from a friend of mine. She has a podcast called the shit that goes on her head, you know, and she asked me about it I broke it down in several different ways. But you know, because I broke it down as my anxiety song and then my depression song. So my anxiety song at the time. Oh, fuck. What did I even say? I don't remember what makes the original one. My new one is now artificial suicide by bad omens. And then my my suicide song or my depression song was Turn the light on, talk about the dark, leave the light on by Papa Roach and a different kind of pain by Cold Remi too for that one. But it was interesting because we all listen to music anyways. think about it, music is big and rich in our lives now. We all have that one song that we can relate to and things like that as well. So it's always a fun question to ask people near the end of these interviews. So the next one for you, and the reason I started this podcast is that if you could break the stigma about mental health. Now, when I ask you this question, Saige Whitney: Yeah. Peter: You could say whatever you want. If it's something that pisses you off, something you wish people would stop doing, what would you say that one thing would be? And you can re-illustrate your point to women that they need to hold space for men if you'd like to. It doesn't matter. This is your answer however you want to answer it. Saige Whitney: Yeah, that's a, Peter: she's really thinking about this one too. Saige Whitney: What comes to my mind is when people hear about a sex addiction, they think you're gonna go have sex with them, or they think that's a great addiction to have. And for people who say that, please stop it. It's a horrible addiction. And you're using people to be your fix. And once you wake up out of your addiction, and you Peter: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Saige Whitney: realize what you've done, it's a horrible feeling and you try to go and apologize to all these people. So no, it's not a great addiction to have. And if someone tells you they have a sex addiction, they're not trying to have sex with you because that happens all the time. And it's really disgusting when people do that. Peter: That's a terrible dicks now. It is. And there's a lot that goes with it. We've covered that early on porn addictions and things like that. Me and another guy named Josh, we had an old conversation about it. And it's a scary thing to get into, because once you get into it, it's no longer about the fact of what's going on in the weirder shit they get into as it gets deeper and deeper and deeper. It just gets wilder. Yeah, no, agree. Well, Sage, thank you so much for coming on the show and hanging out with me today. ⁓ Before we start signing off. Saige Whitney: Mm-hmm. Yep, B, yep. Yeah, thanks for having me. Peter: Of course, listen, before signing off, where can everybody find you? Tell me the podcast star or any social media that you're using currently people can reach out to you on. Let them know where to find you. Saige Whitney: It's it's exclusively on Spotify for the time being. You're more than welcome to reach out to me on Instagram. If you want to talk about any of these things, I would love to talk to you, get into things. My Instagram is Sage, S-A-I-G-E underscore W. And I would love to, know, anything you have, please, please come talk to me. I'd love to talk about it. Peter: I love it. Thank you so much, Sage. Appreciate you coming to me, guys, on the show today. Do you have any last words for everybody before we sign off? Saige Whitney: Yeah, like men you are loved, women you are loved, women let's make space for men to feel loved. Peter: I love it. Thank you so much guys. And with that being said, we're going to wrap up, right? Tell them, tell them Sage, them in the back. didn't hear you. Tell them, because they just don't. Saige Whitney: because they just don't. Yeah. Men don't feel loved or seen. And that's, you know, that could be a cause of where a lot of these problems are coming from, for sure. Peter: Exactly. Definitely. And with that being said, guys, we're going to wrap up this episode of Pete versus anxiety. Guys, you want to find me on Pete versus anxiety on Spotify all the way down to Pandora radio. I'm on Spotify. I'm on Excel. We down to TikTok. And as always, say it costs nothing. Absolutely not to be kind to somebody. One kind act you can do can save someone's life or hell, you can make their day. I'm Pete versus anxiety signing off saying don't ask how your days they say, hey, how's your mental health? Saige Whitney: Yeah.