Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Wholehearted Abundance in Family (Summit Recap Day 2)

Transcript

Wholehearted Abundance in Family (Summit Recap Day 2) · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_04: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach.
0:09
SPEAKER_04: You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling.
0:17
SPEAKER_04: If you are new here, then welcome to the community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community.
0:30
SPEAKER_04: This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire.
0:36
SPEAKER_04: So let's get started.
0:41
SPEAKER_04: Hey friend, I'm so excited to share with you another recap episode of the Wholehearted Abundance Summit that happened in March.
0:50
SPEAKER_04: Today is focused on something that deeply impacts every part of our lives, our relationships with those closest to us.
0:58
SPEAKER_04: Whether we're talking about the parenting relationship, marriage, friendships, or extended family, navigating these connections with wisdom and grace takes intentionality.
1:09
SPEAKER_04: So in this episode, I'm going to share some impactful moments from day two as we discuss building wholehearted families, strengthening relationships, and setting healthy boundaries.
1:21
SPEAKER_04: Now, I'd love to give a quick shout out to Eagle Lake Camps.
1:26
SPEAKER_04: Eagle Lake Camps has impacted our family for at least 10 years, maybe if not more.
1:33
SPEAKER_04: Right now, they are looking for young people to serve for summer camp, their paid positions, and their positions that offer not only so much fun, but intentional discipleship and opportunities to disciple others.
1:48
SPEAKER_04: I could go on and on about this wonderful ministry and organization, but if you know someone who is interested in working at a summer camp in beautiful Colorado and also around the country, well, you might want to check out the link in the show notes.
2:04
SPEAKER_04: Now, I won't be able to cover every session or share every session that happened on day two here, but I am going to give several snippets.
2:14
SPEAKER_04: And before I share those clips, I'll give you a little preview of who you're listening to and what the session was all about.
2:22
SPEAKER_04: But during day two, I did do a live presentation about how each Enneagram type can strengthen communication.
2:30
SPEAKER_04: It was an awesome conversation.
2:32
SPEAKER_04: I loved getting to do it live.
2:34
SPEAKER_04: Each day, I touched a little bit on the first part of John 1010, which is the enemy's plan to take us out.
2:41
SPEAKER_04: So we talked about how the enemy tries to get at us through our relationships and specifically communication.
2:48
SPEAKER_04: And then I took communication to the Enneagram and we did a whole workshop on the different personality types, styles of communication, and how to ultimately work better together.
2:59
SPEAKER_04: It was a lot of fun to do again with everyone there.
3:03
SPEAKER_04: And I've heard great feedback that the replay was equally as helpful.
3:07
SPEAKER_04: Krista Harden also joined us live.
3:10
SPEAKER_04: You know her as Enneagram in Marriage.
3:12
SPEAKER_04: Of course, she did a beautiful job teaching us.
3:14
SPEAKER_04: And she shared a new resource that she has just created about how to move your dreams forward together.
3:20
SPEAKER_04: She offered a whole guide and a teaching, and it's just an amazing resource that I am pouring over and using myself.
3:28
SPEAKER_04: When we were talking in real time, I was like, wait, wait, wait, explain more.
3:31
SPEAKER_04: Tell us more.
3:32
SPEAKER_04: It was really great.
3:34
SPEAKER_04: And of course, the replay is available in the VIP option, which I'll tell you more about in a little bit.
3:41
SPEAKER_04: I also hosted a Voxer panel discussion focused on boundaries, connection, and rest.
3:47
SPEAKER_04: It was several women who shared about how they as busy women prioritize families.
3:52
SPEAKER_04: I loved how the guests who were part of that panel, that their age demographic spanned several decades.
3:59
SPEAKER_04: It really just meant that there was a lot of wisdom and inspiration that poured out.
4:04
SPEAKER_04: And then to end that day, we had another live QA.
4:07
SPEAKER_04: This time, Kristen Ye, a wholehearted coach, and Dr.
4:10
SPEAKER_04: Jara Nelson Cunningham, who you will actually hear from a little bit, they both came on and answered some questions that had been sent in during and before the summit started.
4:21
SPEAKER_04: And we were focusing on conversations around boundaries again, connection, and also navigating a tough subject about family estrangement.
4:30
SPEAKER_04: They did a beautiful job answering the questions, and I think a lot of great wisdom was shared there.
4:35
SPEAKER_04: Now, again, all of the things that I'm sharing today are just a preview of the full summit experience.
4:41
SPEAKER_04: I do still have the VIP pass available to you, which offers you the complete sessions, deeper dive teaching, resources that go along with the bonus content and the regular session.
4:54
SPEAKER_04: So as you're inspired and you listen along and you go, wait, I want to know more.
4:59
SPEAKER_04: I want to hear more.
5:00
SPEAKER_04: Do check out the link in the show notes to get your VIP pass before time runs out.
5:07
SPEAKER_04: Up first is Simi John.
5:10
SPEAKER_04: She is sharing about how to identify and break free from burnout while still pursuing, calling, and being intentional with your family.
5:18
SPEAKER_04: She had a beautiful session.
5:20
SPEAKER_04: I, as with all of these, really, I had a hard time deciding what to share.
5:26
SPEAKER_04: But I think you'll appreciate the clip that I am sharing with you today.
5:30
SPEAKER_04: And there's even some actionable steps to put into place after you're done listening.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: So I want to start with just defining what burnout is.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: Because I think we have different buzzwords.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: We have depression and we really don't know what it is because there's all sorts of definitions.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: And I think burnout is kind of like that now because it's everywhere, right?
5:54
SPEAKER_02: So if I was to define burnout, I would say it is a weariness of your soul.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: It's not just I feel tired at the end of the day.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: It's not just I'm exhausted by the end of the week.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: That's just adulting, right?
6:11
SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, that's just life.
6:13
SPEAKER_02: But when you have this weariness of the soul, that is at the core of who you are, there is this deep fatigue that you feel that is impacting every part of you.
6:25
SPEAKER_02: It's affecting your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental health.
6:30
SPEAKER_02: Every part of you.
6:31
SPEAKER_02: It's a weariness of your soul.
6:34
SPEAKER_02: So what does that look like practically?
6:36
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
6:37
SPEAKER_02: So when we are exhausted, when we are hitting burnout, when we are in that deep fatigue of our soul, our body and our mind will always look for an escape, right?
6:49
SPEAKER_02: I'm a physical therapist, like I said.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: So I teach my patients, your body always wants to be in homeostasis.
6:55
SPEAKER_02: It wants to be happy, healthy, and whole.
6:57
SPEAKER_02: It wants you to not experience pain.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: It wants you to survive.
7:01
SPEAKER_02: And it will do whatever it takes for you to survive.
7:04
SPEAKER_02: So if my right leg is hurting, if my right toe is hurting, my body will naturally shift and put all the weight on the left side, right?
7:12
SPEAKER_02: That's a pattern that my body makes involuntarily to protect that side.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: And eventually that creates dysfunctional patterns because my left side is not meant to carry all my body weight, right?
7:22
SPEAKER_02: So then my knee is gonna start hurting, my hip, my back is gonna start hurting.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: And our mind works the same way.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: Your mind wants you to feel safe.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: So what happens often when you are exhausted, when you're hitting burnout, and every part of you feels that deep fatigue is our body, our um nervous system will go into either fight, flight, or freeze, right?
7:46
SPEAKER_02: You might have heard of fight and flight.
7:48
SPEAKER_02: So fight mode will look like you're angry.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: You're angry at the world, you're angry at like everybody around you, you're angry at the guy that's driving too slow, you're angry at your husband, you're angry at your kids, you're angry at your boss, right?
8:02
SPEAKER_02: You want to send that angry email, you want to let them know how you feel because you have all this energy inside of you that makes you feel unsafe and you just want to blurt it out.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: And then there's flight mode where you just want to run away.
8:15
SPEAKER_02: You don't want to think about it, you don't want to focus on it, you just want to escape from it.
8:19
SPEAKER_02: So these are the times when you find yourself cleaning out your closet, cleaning out every cabinet in your kitchen, and you are wiping everything clean and nothing's clean enough, and you're overworking, you're doing everything not to think about it.
8:32
SPEAKER_02: Or you might just binge watch on Netflix and you're just scrolling, you're doing everything else.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: Your mind is like, Don't think about this, don't think about this, focus on this.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: We need an escape.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: You are in flight mode.
8:43
SPEAKER_02: And the last response is freeze, where you're so paralyzed and overwhelmed by all the things that you're like, I don't want to do anything.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: That you have no motivation.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: Like, what's the point of it?
8:58
SPEAKER_02: And you just feel invisible, like nothing's gonna change.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: So why am I feeling why am I doing anything?
9:03
SPEAKER_02: Right?
9:04
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm just gonna exist, and you're just not there.
9:07
SPEAKER_02: You're just going through the motions.
9:10
SPEAKER_02: And spiritually, what this will look like often is we find ourselves praying less.
9:16
SPEAKER_02: We don't want to read the Bible.
9:18
SPEAKER_02: There's a part of us that we're kind of mad at God, but we don't want to say it out loud, right?
9:22
SPEAKER_02: There's a part of us where we feel distant from God.
9:26
SPEAKER_02: Maybe God doesn't care about me.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: If he did, why is he letting this happen to me?
9:30
SPEAKER_02: If I prayed and it didn't go away, like why do I pray?
9:36
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes you end up resenting the people that you are serving, that you are working for, that even people that you love, you resent them.
9:45
SPEAKER_02: You become self-righteous.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: I'm the only one that cares.
9:48
SPEAKER_02: I'm the only one that shows up, I'm the only one that does everything, whether it's at work or whether it's at home, I'm the only one.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: Like you are self-righteous and you become judgmental of others.
9:58
SPEAKER_02: So in your spirit, that's what you may feel.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: So, what I want you to look for as I say all those things is I want you to think about what are some of those things that you might have seen pop up in your life.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: Right.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: And for all of us, it's gonna look different.
10:15
SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you during my stage of burnout at work, I went through all of these.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: So our nervous system will choose how we're gonna respond in that situation.
10:26
SPEAKER_02: We don't get to choose, our nervous system will choose for us what makes us feel safe in that moment.
10:32
SPEAKER_02: So sometimes it's fight.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: I remember writing an angry email to my CFO, and luckily I'm married to my pastor.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: My husband looked at my email and his words are full of grace and wisdom.
10:43
SPEAKER_02: And so he changed everything I wrote and he made it sound really nice.
10:46
SPEAKER_02: And then I send the email, right?
10:48
SPEAKER_02: And then there were times when I was in flight mode, when I would come home, I didn't want to talk to my kids, I didn't want to touch my husband, I just wanted to watch Netflix, I wanted to get on Canva and create all these things because I didn't want to think about what was going on when I was at work nine hours a day because it was too painful.
11:05
SPEAKER_02: And there were times where I go to freeze where I'm just like, I don't want to do anything.
11:11
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to think, I don't want to send an email, I don't want to do anything.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: So there will be times when you go through all of this and only you know you.
11:21
SPEAKER_02: So you have to look at those things and you have to identify what what is what am I doing right now?
11:27
SPEAKER_02: What is my nervous system doing right now that is out of my character?
11:32
SPEAKER_02: Right?
11:33
SPEAKER_02: What is out of my career?
11:34
SPEAKER_02: Is that my personality or is that different?
11:36
SPEAKER_02: Am I always angry?
11:37
SPEAKER_02: No.
11:38
SPEAKER_02: Then why am I getting angry right now?
11:40
SPEAKER_02: So those are yellow lights, those are the yellow lights of burnout saying, hey, pay attention, you're going in the wrong direction.
11:48
SPEAKER_02: Slow down, you're headed to destruction, right?
11:53
SPEAKER_02: Only you know you.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: And I think if we look at the root cause of burnout for anyone, whether you are Christian, whether you're not a Christian, whether you're male, whether you're female, it all points to one thing expectation.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: Expectation.
12:11
SPEAKER_02: You can write that word in the chat, expectation, because I want you to remember this.
12:17
SPEAKER_02: It's the expectation you put on yourself, and it's the expectation that others put on you.
12:25
SPEAKER_02: So you have to look and analyze your own life and recognize what are those expectations, most of the time, unrealistic expectations that I'm carrying.
12:37
SPEAKER_02: That is, that I have put on myself and others have put on me.
12:42
SPEAKER_02: And I think a lot of times Christian women fall prey to this and stay in that unhealthy burnout state and not tell anybody about it and stay silent because most of us will identify as Enneagram twos, right?
13:01
SPEAKER_02: We're helpers.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: I remember the first time I took the Enneagram, I think it was 2022 or 2021.
13:08
SPEAKER_02: I showed I resulted as a two.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, okay, that makes sense.
13:13
SPEAKER_02: I've been in every ministry, I'm a pastor's wife, makes sense, I'm a helper.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: And then I talked to my brother and I told him I'm a two, and he's you're not a two.
13:22
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, How do you know?
13:23
SPEAKER_02: What do you know about Enneagram?
13:25
SPEAKER_02: And he said to me, I'm a two, you're not a two.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: And the thing is, my brother and I are so different.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: So immediately I was like, okay, that makes sense.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: If he's a two, I am definitely not a two.
13:36
SPEAKER_02: And so that's when God brought Amy my way.
13:40
SPEAKER_02: And I like I did the test and I talked to her, and I was like, Oh my gosh, I am literally a textbook six, right?
13:48
SPEAKER_02: But I identified as a two.
13:50
SPEAKER_02: And Amy said to me, most Christian women will result as a two, and they accept that because we have played that role in most of the spaces we're in.
14:02
SPEAKER_02: We have defined ourselves and identified ourselves as the helper and has become kind of like our thing, right?
14:11
SPEAKER_02: And so for most of us, to say that I can't help or I can't do that feels out of like our role, like out of our identity.
14:22
SPEAKER_02: Like if I'm not a helper, then what's my purpose?
14:24
SPEAKER_02: So we tend to stay there.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: Why?
14:28
SPEAKER_02: I think if you grew up in the church, you're familiar with Proverbs 31 woman.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: And I think you probably either thought to yourself or have been taught by someone that that's who you're supposed to be.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: You're supposed to be the Proverbs 31 woman.
14:42
SPEAKER_02: And I do believe that's true.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: I think God intended for us to look at the Proverbs 31 woman and look at her characteristics, how she was loving and kind, how she was diligent and how she was faithful and be formed into those characters.
14:59
SPEAKER_02: But instead of character formations, we have turned it into a to-do list.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: We're like, I have to do all of these things in order for me to be a good Christian woman, to be a good Christian mom, to be a good Christian wife, to be a good Christian employee.
15:15
SPEAKER_02: And I think we have put all this pressure and weight on ourselves, and we think that was God.
15:21
SPEAKER_02: And God's like, no, you just didn't get it, right?
15:24
SPEAKER_02: You just misinterpreted scripture or someone manipulated scripture to make you believe that.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: But that's not who God called us to be to create this to-do list and become everything.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: Because if you're not gifted in sewing and the Proverbs 31 woman is over there sewing and knitting, then that doesn't make any sense.
15:43
SPEAKER_02: Why would God do that?
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Right?
15:45
SPEAKER_02: And so we have to understand that God doesn't expect us to be perfect or to do it all because he knows us.
15:54
SPEAKER_02: The Bible says he formed us, he knows our frame that we are but dust, right?
16:02
SPEAKER_02: He made us, he knows that we can't handle all of that.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: So why do we put that pressure on ourselves?
16:08
SPEAKER_02: We don't have to, right?
16:10
SPEAKER_02: We don't have to try to balance career, caregiving, ministry, and personal well-being and try to do it all perfectly.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: That is not what God wants us to do.
16:22
SPEAKER_04: Okay, I promised you just a little snippet.
16:25
SPEAKER_04: I know you're gonna want to know more, but for now I want to share a segment from Dr.
16:29
SPEAKER_04: Jara Nelson Cunningham's session.
16:32
SPEAKER_04: She taught about attachment-based parenting, a specific framework for how you flourish as a mom and being the mom your kids need.
16:42
SPEAKER_04: She shared a roadmap to attachment.
16:45
SPEAKER_04: She also explained what attachment is and what it isn't.
16:48
SPEAKER_04: And in this segment that you'll hear, she ties in some of the personality differences that I know will help you have some actionable takeaways.
17:00
SPEAKER_03: The thing that research shows that is so important for secure attachment is that parents be attuned.
17:06
SPEAKER_03: This means you pay attention and you respond.
17:10
SPEAKER_03: To be attuned means you have to first be available, to be present and paying attention, and then to be responsive to what your children need.
17:20
SPEAKER_03: Sometimes what they need may be challenging for you to provide.
17:25
SPEAKER_03: As you can imagine, being available and responsive when kids are exploring, like encouraging them to go out and try something new, is going to be easier for some parents than others, depending on their Enneagram type and depending on their own childhood experiences.
17:40
SPEAKER_03: Some parents may be totally comfortable sending their kids off to play in the neighborhood or to run on the sprinkler on their own or whatever it might be.
17:48
SPEAKER_03: Some parents may love playing games with their kids, being silly, or may even really get into imaginary play with them.
17:56
SPEAKER_03: While for other parents, being attuned to kids' feelings, loving on them, being affectionate, helping them manage their emotions and connecting may be the easier piece for their personality and experiences.
18:10
SPEAKER_03: Some Enneagram types tend to be more focused on relationships and connecting and honing in on emotions.
18:15
SPEAKER_03: And so for those types, emotional support may be their sweet spot.
18:20
SPEAKER_03: For other parents, thinking about those Enneagram types who thrive on structure or being assertive, stepping in to take charge and set limits may be where they feel most comfortable.
18:30
SPEAKER_03: Most parents tend to find that one of these areas comes a little bit more easily or more naturally to them.
18:38
SPEAKER_03: Secure attachment is balancing, supporting exploration, and supporting emotions.
18:45
SPEAKER_03: It doesn't mean that you support each of them 50% of the time.
18:48
SPEAKER_03: It means that you support your kids' explorations when they're needing to explore, when they are giving you those signals that they want to go out and play or that they're curious about something or that they need their space.
19:00
SPEAKER_03: It's also recognizing when they're having a hard time, when they need connection, or when they need help making sense of their emotions.
19:08
SPEAKER_03: So it's knowing and figuring out what our children are needing and responding accordingly, not necessarily a 50-50 balance.
19:16
SPEAKER_03: But secure attachment is that balanced view in the middle that includes both attentiveness, right?
19:22
SPEAKER_03: Being attentive and aware of both the need to explore and the need for emotional connection.
19:30
SPEAKER_03: So we want to meet our kids' universal attachment needs.
19:35
SPEAKER_03: So all kids have some of the same needs, but we also want to be able to meet our kids uniquely in their personality.
19:43
SPEAKER_03: And so finding that balance of exploration and support will depend really on the signals that they're sending us and on how they are wired as well.
19:54
SPEAKER_03: All right, so this is a basic description of how to help your children become securely attached.
19:59
SPEAKER_03: It sounds simple and it can be simple, but it can be challenging at times, especially when our kids' needs interact with our own personality, preferences, and childhood experiences in a way that makes it hard for us to know what they need or to provide what they need.
20:16
SPEAKER_03: It is easy to over-rely on the area that's most comfortable for us as parents, but it may cause us to miss what our children are needing if we over-emphasize one of these areas.
20:30
SPEAKER_03: Parents who are much more supportive of exploration, who may not spend as much time with their kids for whatever reason, or who really value independence and push their kids out into the world all the time, often do not provide as many moments for connection, or all of the connecting may seem to be related to achievement and accomplishment rather than supporting emotions and that relational connection.
20:56
SPEAKER_03: These children may often stop signaling their emotional needs to their parents or may deny or minimize their feelings.
21:05
SPEAKER_03: On the other hand, there may be parents who tend to be overinvolved and do a lot of things for their kids.
21:12
SPEAKER_03: They may pull their kids in close and keep them close.
21:15
SPEAKER_03: They may have a hard time letting them go out and do things with other people or separate from the parents.
21:21
SPEAKER_03: These children often stop signaling the need to explore and may become anxious or reluctant to go out into the world.
21:29
SPEAKER_03: They may struggle to manage disappointment or frustration because their parent has protected them from having to deal with it in everyday things.
21:37
SPEAKER_03: And then when things don't go as planned, or when kids really need to persevere and problem solve, they get frustrated because they haven't had the practice.
21:47
SPEAKER_03: So as you love your kids and you show them God's care and concern for them, and you show your care and concern for them, they come to trust you.
21:57
SPEAKER_03: And then they start to be able to trust others.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: And to be able to go out into the world with confidence.
22:06
SPEAKER_04: Now you're going to hear from Crystal Obi.
22:09
SPEAKER_04: She is sharing a talk that she named Finding Grace in the Jungle.
22:14
SPEAKER_04: Yep, you heard me right.
22:16
SPEAKER_04: Because we as multi-passionate women often feel like we're navigating a wild jungle.
22:22
SPEAKER_04: We're balancing faith, family, finances while also facing uncertainty, setbacks, and overwhelm.
22:29
SPEAKER_04: So she definitely does a deep dive on how to equip you to get through that jungle with divine wisdom instead of feeling lost or stuck or ensnared in the weeds of the jungle.
22:42
SPEAKER_04: So I think you'll love some of the practical takeaways she shares in this clip.
22:46
SPEAKER_04: Plus, if you haven't met Crystal before, she gives a little intro here that I think will help you appreciate her sound wisdom even more.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: As women entrepreneurs, we often feel like we're navigating a wild jungle, balancing faith, family, and finances while facing uncertainty, setbacks, and overwhelm.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: But just like in any jungle, there's a way to move with grace, strength, and divine wisdom instead of feeling lost or stuck.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: This talk will equip you with the mindset, strategies, and faith-filled principles to thrive in every area of life.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: There are five key takeaways I want you to get from this talk.
23:27
SPEAKER_00: Accept the call in your life, increase your capacity for impact, accelerate your progress on your goals, discover resources and provisions to accomplish your goals, and then of course prevent burnout, especially during times of transition or crisis.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: There are three top activities we're going to focus on.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: Number one is gaining clarity about your own personal jungle.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: Number two is we're going to create a vision for walking in grace.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: And number three, we're going to build confidence so that you can thrive and not just survive.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: My name is Crystal Obi, and I am the co-founder of Life and Launches, a direct response copy and launch firm that helps coaches, course creators, and entrepreneurs craft high-converting messaging and marketing campaigns to drive sales.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm a certified Enneagram coach, have a master's degree in life coaching and mentoring, am a doctoral candidate, and am married to my college sweetheart.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: Anthony and I have been married 23 years and we homeschool our five kids in Dallas, Texas.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: I included a picture here of us with our five kids because today is family day, and a big deal for me was to have five kids.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: Anthony and I both always wanted five kids.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: And we ended up having to go through nine pregnancies to get to our five kids.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: We have four miscarriages and two near-death experiences.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: So family is huge for us, and I am so glad to be able to encourage you today.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: Just in case you're wondering, I'm an Enneagram eight and Anthony is an Enneagram one.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: Now I prayed and prepared for this message by imagining what I would say to you if we were sitting next to each other talking.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: I considered my own goals and life priorities and decisions that I've had to make.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: I prayed over a lot of scriptures that have really helped me and played back conversations that I've had with clients.
25:13
SPEAKER_00: I thought about how one of my favorite TV shows is called I Shouldn't Be Alive.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: I just love watching people overcome challenges.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: There was this one episode where a guy was lost in the jungle, and it totally seemed hopeless that he was going to make it out, but ultimately he did.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: One day we watched a movie called Jungle, and it turned out to be based on the same story that we watched on I Shouldn't Be Alive.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: And it was an incredible movie, and I recommend you check it out if you ever get a chance.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: Now, women entrepreneurs face the challenge of keeping our faith strong, our family nurtured, and our finances in order.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: One of the definitions of a jungle is a situation or place of bewildering complexity or brutal competitiveness.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: This definitely reminds me of being a woman entrepreneur sometimes.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: The first question I want you to ask yourself today is what is my jungle?
26:06
SPEAKER_00: What exactly is on your plate?
26:08
SPEAKER_00: Once you've asked the first question of what is your jungle, I want you to think about the second question, which is, how did I get here?
26:18
SPEAKER_00: You may look at your life sometimes and just really wonder, just you know, how did I get here?
26:23
SPEAKER_00: And I have noticed there are three ways life can get chaotic.
26:26
SPEAKER_00: The first way is what I call camping.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: That means that's when you signed up to be here and you have just become overwhelmed.
26:33
SPEAKER_00: It's things that you've wanted to do, you signed up, and you just keep adding to the plate and you just get overwhelmed.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: But you will ask to be here.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: The second thing I've noticed is that people wander into places.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: So basically you drift it because you said yes to too many things, and you just need more boundaries.
26:53
SPEAKER_00: You just keep overcoming things that you should be saying no to and saying yes to things, and you end up kind of drifting off of the path that you were on, and that can lead to overwhelm.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: The third thing I've noticed is that people get into situations because they basically crash there.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: There's unexpected crisis or transitions that create some unfortunate circumstances.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: Now, no matter what is on your plate and no matter what your jungle is made of, it is very critical that you are clear about your priorities.
27:25
SPEAKER_00: Anthony and I do an annual planning meeting and we discuss what is the one thing we can do in each category of life for the next year so that we can go to the next level of thriving.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: And we only include one thing.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: When you're in a real jungle, there are some specific priorities you have, and I looked them up.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: That's finding drinking water, building a shelter before nightfall, creating a weapon or tool for making things, and finding a source of food.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: Your priorities in your faith, your family, and your finances should be focusing on the basics and release any guilt about any unrealistic expectations.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: You can't do it all.
28:06
SPEAKER_04: In this final clip, we have Deanna Sudom.
28:11
SPEAKER_04: So many of you have loved her prayers over the years, and of course, the conversations that we have had off and on these last couple of years.
28:19
SPEAKER_04: For this day, she taught on contending in prayer for our hearts and our children's hearts.
28:26
SPEAKER_04: She covered warfare and obstacles to praying.
28:29
SPEAKER_04: In fact, in this clip, she shares an obstacle to praying and a couple of practical tips to engage in prayer even when life keeps happening.
28:43
SPEAKER_01: So the first obstacle I believe might be getting in the way of praying for ourselves and our families is spiritual warfare.
28:51
SPEAKER_01: John 10 10 says the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: I came, meaning Jesus, that you may have life and have it in abundance.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: I am not a devil behind every door kind of believer, but the enemy has one plan and no new tricks.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: Yet we can be easily deceived by them if we are not prepared.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: There are different ways these may appear, but his main goal is to break relationship with you and God.
29:21
SPEAKER_01: One of his tricks is distraction and the disruptions of our focus.
29:25
SPEAKER_01: Thoughts, worries, or feelings of guilt or inadequacy may pop in your mind.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: Wandering thoughts are normal.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Don't let him convince you that your mind needs to be completely clear in order to be in God's presence.
29:39
SPEAKER_01: Honestly, if I waited for my brain to be quiet, I would never talk to him.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: Write down any persistent or intrusive thoughts or grocery lists, whatever is popping in your mind.
29:50
SPEAKER_01: I found this is helpful.
29:52
SPEAKER_01: And then just return back to the prayer or silence before the Lord.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: Have a word or a phrase that you can say to return your attention back to him.
30:01
SPEAKER_01: I often speak the name of Jesus when I'm distracted this way.
30:05
SPEAKER_01: The enemy may plant seeds of doubt and lies in your mind, like God isn't listening to you, or your prayers don't matter.
30:15
SPEAKER_01: As you intercede for yourself or for your children or others, Pastor Craig Grochel wrote a book called The Benefit of Doubt.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: He says, doubt is not the enemy of faith.
30:27
SPEAKER_01: It can often be a pathway to a deeper, more meaningful faith and life of prayer.
30:33
SPEAKER_01: So examine your beliefs and let go of what is untrue and build on the truth within good community of believers.
30:42
SPEAKER_01: The devil also knows that prayer strengthens us spiritually, so he may try to dampen our desire to pray.
30:49
SPEAKER_01: Creating apathy or fatigue, we may experience heightened spiritual resistance through attacks from the enemy, just as it said in Daniel 9, 23.
30:59
SPEAKER_01: As soon as you began to pray, a word went out, which I have come to tell you.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: The Lord answered him, but there was resistance that present prevented him from receiving the answer right away.
31:11
SPEAKER_01: So try to persist through this kind of attack.
31:15
SPEAKER_01: I have an example even from this past weekend.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: We have a daughter and son-in-law who are trying to pursue fostering.
31:23
SPEAKER_01: And so every time they start to go for training or something they have to do in their home, they get some resistance come up.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: And that very day, the day before they had the training, they had come to visit us in our city.
31:36
SPEAKER_01: And um that morning, my daughter choked on some food, and then she hit her head very hard on the hatch of my vehicle.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: And then 10 minutes into taking all the kids to a play structure place to go, let them run off some energy.
31:54
SPEAKER_01: One of our grandsons broke his arm in two places.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: So that day, it was just the most awful day.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: And so we took him to the hospital.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: We were there for almost eight hours.
32:09
SPEAKER_01: And my daughter-in-law took the first shift and I went for the next.
32:13
SPEAKER_01: But as I was standing in the hallway, he had to have his bone, I forget what the process is they called it, but they push it back into place because it was bent quite badly.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: There were two breaks in the in his forearm.
32:28
SPEAKER_01: And I was standing in the hallway reading and praying Psalm 91 over him.
32:33
SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden, the peace of God just covered me.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: And I knew that he would be okay, even with sedation that he had not responded well to before.
32:42
SPEAKER_01: And we just recognized that there was more going on here than what we are just seeing in the physical realm.
32:50
SPEAKER_01: And my daughter woke up the next morning after we'd got home and she'd only slept for three or four hours and had the training to go to.
32:58
SPEAKER_01: And she just said, You're not going to win today, devil.
33:00
SPEAKER_01: And they went and the training was really amazing.
33:03
SPEAKER_01: So I just encourage you to keep covering your children in prayer, to keep covering the people that God brings to mind for you.
33:12
SPEAKER_01: It's really powerful.
33:13
SPEAKER_01: And Psalm 91 is often a place where I will go when it's a warfare time.
33:20
SPEAKER_01: So you can overcome these kinds of enemy attacks by putting on the full armor of God, resisting the enemy with scripture, keep praying with persistence and authority.
33:30
SPEAKER_01: You have been given everything you need for life and godliness.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: And you're filled with the same resurrection power that raised Christ from the dead.
33:39
SPEAKER_01: So dial in and stay steadfast.
33:42
SPEAKER_01: One of my favorite tools in coaching is listening prayer.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: I will often say, let's listen to the Lord on this one.
33:49
SPEAKER_01: He's way smarter than I am.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: So we take time to be still and listen to what he has to say.
33:54
SPEAKER_01: And it's allowing a client to hear God's voice, to learn it, whether it comes audibly or in their spirit, in a vision, a picture, a song, words, or scripture, sometimes in the strangest ways, but the Lord knows personally what we need to hear and how we need to hear it.
34:11
SPEAKER_01: His language is also unique to and for us.
34:14
SPEAKER_01: Although we can hear from God, God says, My sheep know my voice, not just some sheep, all the sheep.
34:21
SPEAKER_01: That means you sheep.
34:23
SPEAKER_01: The enemy, our own voice or the world may interfere with our hearing from him clearly.
34:29
SPEAKER_01: Here are some ways that differentiate God's and Satan's voice.
34:34
SPEAKER_01: God's voice stills you.
34:39
SPEAKER_01: God's voice leads you.
34:41
SPEAKER_01: Satan's voice pushes you.
34:43
SPEAKER_01: God's voice reassures you.
34:46
SPEAKER_01: Satan's voice frightens you.
34:48
SPEAKER_01: God's voice enlightens you.
34:50
SPEAKER_01: Satan's voice confuses you.
34:53
SPEAKER_01: God's voice encourages you.
34:56
SPEAKER_01: Satan's voice discourages you.
34:58
SPEAKER_01: God's voice comforts you.
35:01
SPEAKER_01: Satan's voice worries you.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: God's voice calms you.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: Satan's voice obsesses you.
35:08
SPEAKER_01: God's voice convicts you.
35:11
SPEAKER_01: And Satan's voice condemns you.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: So keep learning to hear what it sounds like for you, to hear the Lord, to practice what his voice is for you.
35:26
SPEAKER_04: Well, friend, I hope today's recap gave you encouragement and wisdom for navigating family relationships with greater purpose, grace, and intentionality.
35:36
SPEAKER_04: Trust me though, we barely scratch the surface of all the goodness of just one day of the wholehearted abundance summit.
35:45
SPEAKER_04: If you want to have access to the full conversations where each of the speakers dive deeper into topics like healing family wounds, raising wholehearted kids, and thriving in marriage, the VIP Pass is where you're going to find it all.
35:58
SPEAKER_04: And of course, don't forget, there's exclusive bonuses designed to help you take action, whether it's downloadable guides, extra QA sessions, and full 55-minute one-on-one coaching sessions.
36:12
SPEAKER_04: I mean, friend, you're not going to find anything else out there like this.
36:16
SPEAKER_04: Go ahead and get it today before the bonus resources disappear because they will eventually.
36:23
SPEAKER_04: Okay, friend, thanks for listening.
36:25
SPEAKER_04: And I hope this re-inspired you if you got to attend live and you're now remembering all the good gold that you learned along the way.
36:35
SPEAKER_04: Or if you missed it, don't worry, you didn't miss out.
36:38
SPEAKER_04: You can go get full access today.
36:41
SPEAKER_04: Just look at the links in the show notes.
36:44
SPEAKER_04: Remember, friend, we're all broken, we're all blowing it.
36:48
SPEAKER_04: But the brave one does something about it.