Latest / Herspiration Happy Hour / Herspiration Happy Hour Season 9, Eps 22: Friendship, Money & Expectations

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Herspiration Happy Hour Season 9, Eps 22: Friendship, Money & Expectations · Herspiration Happy Hour

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready for cocktails and conversations?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready for cocktails and conversations?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready for cocktails and conversations with your host, the unapologetic Diva Dr.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: G, the girlfriend therapist Dr.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Cortina Lewis, and the networking extraordinaire Diana Richardson Philippus.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready for cocktails and conversation?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: This is Herspiration Happy Hour.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Happy Hour.
• 0:37
  unknown: Happy Hour.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: This is season nine, episode two.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And this is your unapologetic Diva, Dr.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: G.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Cortina Lewis, aka the girlfriend therapist.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and our other ladies have, you know, their life is life.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, but we always send prayers for them, and I hope you do too.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but you know what?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: It is Wednesday, winning Wednesday.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so, what can we celebrate today?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, is you as start off and then me.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: What are we celebrating today?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, my daughter be home Friday.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I won't see her that much, but she's coming home, so it's always good to connect with theater.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um, my second company, we passed our audit.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that is something to definitely celebrate.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yay!
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, seriously, uh something to celebrate.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Release.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: You can breathe now.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: You can breathe now.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Then on next to the other accreditation for green apple is it's a different accreditation that we're preparing for now.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, okay, wow, gracious.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: All these different accreditations.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulations on you know being finished and passing with you know passing the audit.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh let's see, today I I just have a personal celebration.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my mom has been out of town and whatnot in Germany, and you know, I went to Chicago for to see the Eagles played.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: We played like fucking trash, but um, but the weekend was good, it was twofold.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: One, I got to really catch up with one of my former classmates, turned friend from my doctoral program, Tammy.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And oh, I thought I saw that.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we went to high TV at the Drake, it was so beautiful.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: Got to hang out at Navy Pier.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: We just we got to catch up and just really have all kinds of talks about life and career and education and just different things that was that you when you get to pour into each other, you know.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: So that was really nice.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Spent the whole day, and then on Monday, I got to see my mom.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: So it was kind of cool.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: We got to go and hang out and everything, and that was our that was our first, I believe, football game together.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: We've gone to basketball games, but this was her first football, our first football game together, you know.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so that was nice.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's my win, is that I got to hang out in Chicago and just really be intentional about time and just really have a good time.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: So that's my win.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so what are we sipping on today?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we are sipping on a drink called No Strings Attached, right?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I give because I care, not because I'm expecting something back, right?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: So this uh cocktail basically is two ounces of gin, one three-fourths ounces of eldiflower liqueur, not just the elderflower, but this time we're using eldiflower liqueur, um, three-fourths ounces of fresh squeeze lemon juice, one half ounce of honey, and sparkling an ounce of sparkling water.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so basically, what you want to do is you want to add the gin, the eldeflower liqueur, the lemon juice and the honey into a shaker.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Then you want to strain it over a chilled uh well into a chilled glass over ice, and then you want to top it with sparkling water, you want to give it a gentle stir, and then you want to just garnish with the lemon wedge, and there you go.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, all right.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so and and you know, I like gin, so that's one that I know.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I picked it up.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's one I would try.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know what?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Let's speak of the drink and what led us to, you know, having these expectations and whatever.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that me, you know, all the ladies on here, we we always talk about the importance of having your tribe and just having good girlfriends and great relationships.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I always I I tell a lot of women if I'm in different groups and they're asking questions, like I saw one that said, Would you rather have one good friend or 10 friends you can travel with?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: And people were saying, I'd rather just have the one friend.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I rather have 10 friends that are good friends that I can travel with.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I was just gonna say uh both because I have that, yeah.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: I I have that, and and the fact that with the whole, you know, Savannah um and what's her name?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um Savannah James and her friend having that real conversation, and her friend saying, Look, we we're realistic up in here.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: But it was a real I I looked at some of the comments and what people were saying and the friendships, and because we always talk about how our tribe of women and how supportive we are of one another, and we we definitely always talk about all of our travel.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we have I have our little group, the Black Wives Travel Tribe.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I have also made the comment about the importance of having some friends within your tame tax bracket, uh, you know, because there are certain things that you want to do if you want to travel.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Can these people afford it?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Can they go?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: And and so because we talk so intimately about that, this conversation with Savannah and her best friend really was it was I was taken back by some of the comments, and from especially from women who I guess to me might must not understand what friendship looks like, and that you know what the expectations are in relationships when it comes to money.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I want to hear what you what your thoughts are on when friends, female friends on on trips or whatever travel together.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: What are your thoughts on that whole conversation?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, in terms of expecting if you're a millionaire or a billionaire status or you know, anything, and you have friends that are not.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I because I'm very comfortable with where I am, I don't have to compete with anybody, right?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have friends when we go shopping, honey, they be in stores.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, uh uh, my coin don't stretch like that, so I will not be going in there.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I girl, I'm glad for you.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, you should get two of them.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love it, and it's no shade or anything like that.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm genuinely happy for people who have the ability to be able to do that, right?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And there is no expectation for them to offer me or do any of those things.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: I just have my birthday, it was one gift that I got.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: I personally I appreciate it, but I think it was too expensive.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's just me, I appreciate it, and um I'm so grateful and thankful to have friends that care for me in that way.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes I think if I had a friend that offered too much, if we're traveling to pay, upgrade, I would feel the way, not because I'm thinking I have to give them something back because I don't have any friends that feel that way.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to make sure I'm able to pull my own weight in this friendship and that it doesn't become one-sided.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yes, let's go.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: But then on the flip side, because of the friends that I have, I would not care about paying for them.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, you sit up here with me now.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, this is not just about you, this is about me too, because I'm being safe, I want us to sit together.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think that even comes with you know being upgraded to first class.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you can be traveling, and then sometimes you're upgraded.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: One ticket is upgraded.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Will you feel a certain way?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't give a damn because I'm gonna be fine right here.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because whether you were upgraded or not, guess what?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I still would have been in the same seat.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't upgrade, go I stuff like that just does not bother me.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I am not one, I'm not a person who needs somebody else because I do a lot of stuff by myself anyway.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that might be part of it, but I feel like there should not be any expectations as it relates to financials in friendships, right?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because everybody shows up differently.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just because it looks like I have the means, and I probably do, that does not mean my means is your means.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what we have invested, you don't know what we have liquid.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: You look at the blogs, okay.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: But what if we have a big investment that I just can't talk about and I'm telling you I don't have the money right now, and you're like, she being stingy.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you really my friend?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, I'm already, I might already be paying for all of these things for you, and I still have to be able to live, I still have children that I have to be considerate about.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I think friendships that don't have the expectation, but sometimes the offer is there.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think those are great, right?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't go into a friendship with someone I don't care if we were friends since we since we were in the womb, and now my friend is this big power thing or whatever.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: I there's no expectation from me, and this is only me, this is not about anybody else.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: There's no expectation for them to pay my way all the time, for them to feel obligated to do these things for me.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to do it, do it.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: There may be times when you want to do it when I'm like, nah, I'm good.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm good right here in my thousand dollar seat.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need the twelve thousand dollar seat, I don't need to lay down because we about to be over here.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So it's fine, you know.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've traveled across on a 15-hour flight non-stop and coach.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was fine, honey.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: It ain't made me no never mind.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was good coming back.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I slept the whole way, so it's not uncomfortable for me.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was on Emirates, goddamn, yeah, uh basic fare to me was like uh uh a first class on Delta over here.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: So to me, I was comfortable.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: I was fine, honey.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to go in first class, you want to go upstairs where the bar is and all that other kind of stuff.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, I have added because I'm gonna have my headphones, my book that I'm gonna be reading, and I'm probably gonna be sleep most of the time anyway.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I personally do not feel like there should be this expectation or obligated, but like I said, my expectation for receiving, which is you do what you want to do, is very different than how I move.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if I had it, I would gladly pay for my friends to be upgraded.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: If they accept it, cool.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: If they don't, that's also cool because it's up to them whatever they want.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I know we ain't like we flying first class every week.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now that might get a little excessive, but if this is a trip, we haven't been on the trip.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: I might just say, I'm just gonna pay to take all 10 of y'all.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: This way we finna go.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: We on on this trip, or we're gonna I'm gonna rent this yacht.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all pay y'all on plane tickets, but we finna go in the French Riviera over here for a week, get your PTO, take your time off, don't worry about nothing.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Meet me here, and this is on me.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it might be something like that, but I love the friends that I have.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I feel like even now we ain't billionaires and all that other kind of stuff, but we do look out and take care for each other in the way that we can now, and so I'm always grateful and appreciative.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if it's really a friendship, if that's an expectation that you have of your friends to always foot the bill and pay for everything just because of the money that they have, or it look like they have that too, yeah.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know what?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's so funny.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: I had to chuckle when you said, like, you know, getting upgraded to first class girl.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you something.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: I've left Jay.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: I left Jay in coach.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: I would tell Touchy.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: If he gets upgraded, baby, honey, go.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because I did, and I told him, I said, you know what, do if you want, I won't take it.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, I'm fine.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was up there drinking, but if it's my birthday and I have people going with me, I'm gonna I'm gonna pay for my first class ticket.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, and if everybody else is in is in coach, I'm gonna I will we we joke like that amongst our friends, it's like, hey, how you doing on the way?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're gonna walk right past you, okay.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, pal, girl.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: We need to go back into my seat 37F.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, all the way in the back of the plane.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, girl, I'll see you when we get there.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because like when we went to Grenada, I think you guys were in first class.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: We did first class.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't give a good rest.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I also think it's a mindset because stuff like that, trivial stuff, that does not bother me, right?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if I'm going for somebody else.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: I I just I just don't care that much.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know some people are like, I only fly first class.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, baby, good for you.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see these field prices?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because these last class tickets cost what first class used to cost.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so um, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's it's hella expensive.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm always looking at flights in the distance.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, what's gonna make me most comfortable?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: And then that's the other part.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like you.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've I have flown all the way back from I want to say the Philippines.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: I flew there first class, but I was just ready to go and they didn't have any more first class tickets available.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: So me and another co-worker, we flew back coach.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: I said I would never do that shit again.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but what's that spawn, was it?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds good.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Girl, well, first of all, Emirates, anything Emirates is kind of like top tier to me.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't even know Emirates before, and I'm like, yeah, I really like it.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I don't think I've ever flown Emirates and I wasn't business class.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't, you know what I'm saying?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: Business or first class.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime I've ever flown Emirates is because I was going for work.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: So baby, that was a big ass plane.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: It is a big plane, and and on there, so I I never saw, like when I got on the plane, I never, you know, you don't get to see the front, yeah.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because you you load on the first class side, so you don't really get to see coach on the plane that I was on, yeah.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I was like, it was so pretty at night time.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: They had the sparkles in the top, like you know how the Bentleys have the the what is Tuesday morning?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's a store, Tuesday morning.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: The store, yeah.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that one you were talking about.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't the one that you told us about Tuesday morning?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, didn't you tell us about that?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: What is that?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, what is that?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're talking about that's that Tuesday morning is a is a is a store almost like Tuesday morning.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: Where'd she get that from?
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: Mom, where'd you come?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: She just came through Tuesday morning as my friend.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what the that's why I'm like Tuesday morning.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so like at nighttime when the cabin lights go down, it was like looking at the stars, and then I'm able to get up, honey.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: The people don't come bargain for flights.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: She's sharing a bargain for oh Tuesday morning, it's a place called Tuesday morning for flights.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm going, I'm gonna have to check that out.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I know it's it's a store, like a like a like a hobby lobby kind of like store.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like um like a home goods.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I was like Tuesday morning, okay.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, um but yeah, I was just like, This is this is this is this is fun, this is cool, but anyway, yeah, I don't and and I think if I was I am a giver, if I'm like that, and I feel like there is a friend that expects that, that's gonna make me not want to give, and I'm be like, Yeah, that's interesting.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I might have to is this one-sided friendship, yeah.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: But again, like I said, the friends that I currently have right now, there there is, I don't feel that at all.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I wish I could pay for all of my friends to, you know, go away or do something.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I like to see people smile, I like to see people happy.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: But honey, the coin don't stretch that far yet.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I can't pay for that.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that, yeah, that part.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the checking and the saving ain't adding up that way, so um, yeah, but when it does, uh, they'll be like, okay, y'all, can y'all take these dates off?
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry about where we're going, just have your passport ready.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: And when you meet me at the airport, then I tell you where we're going.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: I I I absolutely agree.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: But then I also feel like no matter where your friends are in life, like our friend group I can speak for, we are all in various places of our lives financially, and yet we still always, no matter what, be able to celebrate with one another.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's because a lot of our stuff is planned out, a lot of our stuff is planned out in in advance, and then we we all just get our flights.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: But every Tuesday morning, my mom said you can get um cheaper flights than on other days, so I know Tuesdays I would be looking at flights, but you know what?
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: It so I um it depends.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: One day it will I was shocked because Thursdays normally flights are not good, but I was able, I said, Oh, it's a Thursday, and the flights were actually cheaper on this Thursday than it was on like sometimes even late night, late at night, like 11 o'clock.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes flights are you know, the the rates drop.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: But oh yeah, between two and three in the morning for real, between two and four, I was landing up.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: I could already have booked a flight.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: I get online and I call them and say, give me my discount credit.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I did that for Grenada.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: I saved 200 bucks.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: I had 200 in credit because I was flying business class and their business class dropped.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: On American, on American.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh so yeah, we're looking at I'm I have four different flights right now.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking at needing to get flights for uh right now that I'm on the lookout.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Two one is to Cancun, one is to uh LA for us, the other one is for um oh god, uh but not what is it called?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um Cabo.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then the other one is for uh Aruba.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: So looking at flights for all these places and like, oh my god, with the fuel prices, oh Lord Jesus.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully the fuel prices drop by next year.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: I sure do hope so.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: I sure do hope so.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: So let me also share this one about the topic of money.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: So this is a conversation that Jay and I have all the time.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: If he always says if he won the lottery and won millions and billions of dollars, that he would immediately be giving his friends money, not just family.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh, we're gonna have to have talk.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because why do you feel like your friends should be given money just because you won?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And and I know he's a he's a generous person, but I just I guess I just didn't agree.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, Well, maybe you're not that type of friend.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, uh, just because I'm rich don't mean I need to retire people around me.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: That you know, no, I'm not doing that, and it doesn't make me a bad friend, but I I just don't feel the need, I don't share that I don't share that thought right to give my friends$50,000,$60,000 or$100,000 just because I won a lottery.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: So we have that disagreement.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's a lot of money.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just giving that money willy-nilly.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think if I was Elon Musk, I'd be like, everybody can get$500,000 because I still won't even feel it.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: This man is almost goddamn trigger now.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I'm not, I'm not going to miss it.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: My kids, their kids, their kids' kids, their kids, kids, kids, he can cure war hunger.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I it wouldn't even be a drop in the bucket.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: But if we talk about millions, even if you had 999 million, that ain't enough to be giving out everybody millions of dollars or what have you.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now I might invest in the business, I might even buy you a car, I might, you know.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Say, I'm gonna pay off your bills or something like that, something to help get you leveled.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't know, because I mean depending on how many friends.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like I might depending on where my friends are, if if I have it, I would buy you a house, right?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't gotta worry about that.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: I would, you know, purchase a building for your business, but it depends on how much totally that's going to be because I have responsible friends, so I don't have to worry about them coming back to me with a handout because they're already responsible.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sowing seed into them.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to worry about they coming back to me.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, can you this about to go and forth?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, it's been going forward close.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't owe my money on this up to taxes.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: What is happening?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: I have responsible friends, so I don't have to worry about those types of things where I'm like, okay, how many times I'm gonna have to we're gonna have to spin this block where I feel like I have to give you money, or you are or you feel entitled to keep coming like this, and now you mad at me because I don't want the lotto, and now you angry at me if I say no.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think uh uh outside of my family, I'd have to think about the investment of like you and when it comes to my friends.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what I might do, I might just be like, you know what, let me round my girls up, we're gonna go somewhere.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't want to become financially responsible for anyone, right?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: I just I just don't want to.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and even for family, I would be like, you know what, what can I do to set you up for success?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, to minimize, because I still feel like you could give somebody a million dollars and they can blow through it and be back in your crazy, and that's family anything, yeah.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so, but because you are are at that point are wealthy, financially wealthy with money, then it's a little bit, you know, you never know.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's when people come out the woodworks, and you can't take care of everybody.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: So if you if you won millions of dollars, I'm sure you would have to have a conversation with your husband before you even started giving money away.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: And he is thrifty, he is economically sound when it comes to the dollar.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think that's putting it lightly.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, honey.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what I'm gonna have to do.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think I even with his side, I would probably be more generous than he was.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I would be more generous than he was.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be like, come on, come on, like you you already know.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: You already know.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: We can't do this for them.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: We can't be like, Tina, all right, man.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, like, why, why, why we can't, yeah.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I feel like I would like for my nieces and and nephews, I don't think I would financially give them money, but I would either put in a trust or you know, buy a home and then have a direct deposit or something to pay land taxes for them, so they wouldn't have to worry about that.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: But then you they're responsible for everything else.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to teach them, you know, teach anybody to be become financially dependent.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely not.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you want them to still have some level of dependent, you know, independence, so just not like you're just giving, you know, you can be there like, okay, I know it's just tight grind because the economy is kind of funky now and again, but I don't want to always be the first resort for things financial just because I have it, you know, and you kind of almost can't hide it once you, you know, you win the lottery, and and people know you're a you're a millionaire or billionaires and all of that other stuff.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: But that's why also, if you look, they always talk about those who win the lottery end up without any money a lot of the times.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you got to be careful for the people that trying to manage your money when you have all that money, like that black man who won the lotto, and that white lady came and was supposed to be helping him, and she killed him and took his money.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Got it, yeah.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't hear about that?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: No, I didn't hear about that, yes, honey.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: So sad.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, so sad.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: She and she took the money, yeah.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Did she go to jail?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so what'd she do with the money?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Did it go to his family at that point?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: His name was Abraham Shakespeare.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: He died in 2009.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: He was a Florida, you probably hear because it happened in Florida.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: He won 17 million dollars in 2006.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: In 2009, his family declared him missing.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: In January 2010, his body was found buried under a concrete slab in the backyard of an acquaintance, Doris Moore.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: She was convicted of his murder and is now serving life in prison without the possibility of parole.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Crazy.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: See, that's you know what?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's why you you gotta be careful who you're who who you uh associate with, whether it's a friend, an acquaintance, a neighbor.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, it's gonna get you some security because what in the world?
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: And his only purchases, apart from his million-dollar home, his only other major purchase included a Nissan Ultima and a Rolex watch from a pawn shop.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: He ain't even go crazy.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, and his neighbor subsequently more.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: She withdrew over a million dollars and bought herself a Hummer, a Corvette, a truck before going on vacation.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: She later claimed that the move the money was a gift, so you also gotta be careful of people.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um and how they move.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I am the kind of friend like I I do have like I have friends, I have, I have, I won't say friends all the way.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: I have some friends and then some acquaintances in the industry.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I wouldn't know how well out they are because I don't care about that.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Even if I'm going to lunch, I still pay for my own meals, they pay for their meals.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't, I deliberately don't take photos.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: I just I keep things a certain way because I don't need other people to know the relationships that I have.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but even with them, just if even if they say, Well, you know, you can always ask, blah, blah, blah.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm no, thank you.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm I'm good and I'm comfortable with what I can afford for myself.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: And if I can't, if I can't afford it for myself, I'm damn sure not going to ask anyone else for something that I can't afford myself.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, even if I'm going out to eat, I'd rather I can look at the mini.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: But then I wouldn't do it for myself.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I wouldn't go out to eat somewhere and then go ham having an expectation that somebody will is paying for this.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: Ever.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because I like it.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't understand those people that that that I don't understand those people that do that, right?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: When you thought you were paying for it, you was only ordering appetizers.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: But when you found out somebody else was paying for it, oh now you want to drink everybody under the table, order shrimp and lobster and steak and wagyu and all this other kind of stuff.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let's rewind.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a foodie and I love to order food, but if you order more than me, yeah, not you know what?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, anyone who orders more than you, that's a problem.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: I can't help it.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I always ask Duncan, I'm like, what are you what are you getting?
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, I'm gonna let you order first.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm always like, Why don't you get this so I can taste it?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want the whole thing, but I just want to, I just want to taste it.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Can I order my own food?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Can can I get what I want?
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you could, but what's the point?
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: Just get this so I know you eat that, so just get it so I can taste it, so I can order my real meal what I really want to eat.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so funny, funny story.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was cracking up at me over the weekend.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: We went to a restaurant out in Chicago.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: Now I I had already looked at the menu and everything, and that so that wasn't the problem.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: I knew the prices, somehow it didn't calculate in my head.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: So the bill came.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: What in the world?
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now he knows I'm podcasting, so I don't know why he's calling me.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh take care of T he won the lotto.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: I look, that'd be the only reason he better be calling me during a podcast.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh um, so the bill came and I was treating my mom regardless.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: She she didn't even really know, but we're just we split.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: We weren't that hungry because we had just left another spot, but I wanted to go to this other place.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: So we only had like string beans that which were popular there, and um like chicken skewers, and the chicken skewers came with like a succotash and some purple cabbage.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: So the be and we had a drink each.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's it, four things.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of without even having my glasses on, looked and I was like, wait a minute,$132.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: What the so my mom started laughing, so I told her, I was messing with her, I was like, mm-mm, finish up these green beans right here.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: Let me just I'm eating all of this 130 something dollars for just for four things.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: Let me drink all this drink.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let me go ahead.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: I told her, I say, eat this purple cabbage, go ahead and finish this up.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: We we're eating everything from here a hundred and a hundred and thirty dollars.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh which my mom was cracking up because I was like, mm-mm, let me let me let me go ahead and get that get the rest of that.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, I'll say let me stop it up with the succotash and everything.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I had her cracking up, and it wasn't but two skewers, two scooers, but it was all now.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: I will say it was absolutely delicious.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it was better than the other restaurant that we went to.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not even gonna name that place.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but their stuff wasn't that good.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the French fries my mom got were salty.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: We got some kind of, they look like little um, it said it was rib tip something, but it was very mushy.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I don't know, but it was it wasn't it wasn't really that good.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and it and I don't remember how much I paid for that meal, but it just wasn't that good.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: But it was nice.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: I still got to treat my mom.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and she even she won, even though she wanted to pay, it didn't really matter.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you, whatever you want, I'm I'm going to buy.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but that's also a thing.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: My mom be trying to get flight points, so she always trying to buy everything or pay for everything.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, I I got it.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: Let me let me treat my mom because I had not seen her in a bit.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I like being able to do that.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: What I don't like, not outside of my mom, this is a whole nother thing.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: I hate going out with people, and we pretty much get all the same thing.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: Might have one drink, we're all eating off each, you know, appetizers and whatever.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then the bill comes, and you're like, uh-uh, this is what I had.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: Let me let me just pay for this.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: But you had your hands and everything else.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, no.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I I'm one and done with people with that.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, they can't come back out to eat with me.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: They absolutely you done tried everything and got full of everything, everything.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: But what you order, oh, I only had a salad, but you done sat here and you ate half my steak.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let me just taste this.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh, what is this?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: A buffet?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what you done ate.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't have a whole buffet because you done tried this, double than that, tried this.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: So unless it's saying, you know, yeah, two different, two separate checks.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I will say that, but I'm also in that type that I would just surprise and just the bill comes and I'll just pay for it, you know, because the company is good, I'm with my friends, but I'm very cautious about you know, relationships that gotta be looking and itemizing every single thing on the on the check, especially when people aren't going like willy nilly.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's like uh we all had one drink and we all had a meal, and all the meals were about the same.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: Just run and split that split it separately.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, can you break that into four even things?
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, three, split it three ways, but that's that's the other, that's the other thing.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I typically it doesn't really be within my friend group, it would be people who are invited in.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, my friends come in with me, like, okay, cool, but they can't come back no more.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's and I do, I'm very honest about that.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: Can't come back no more.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot do cannot do brunch or nothing else, you know.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: And and this particular incident, we all had, we were sharing a hookah, we all was eating and just being merry, everybody just sharing stuff, and then when the check came, it was a whole different thing.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Yeah, yeah.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I can't.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm always I'm always leery when it comes to relationships like that, and I'm grateful.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like you said, we don't have that in our or our immediate friend group.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: We are people be like, I got it, I got next one, I got this, or whatnot.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm gonna tell you, even with like even with you, when you girl, you be sending texts, and none of us be understanding some of the things, like for these birthdays.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: No, girl, let me tell you, you for D's birthday is a classic example.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: When you said, here is the deposit for everybody, you didn't say per person.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, only said you have because I was like, Hey, did you get it?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you was like, Oh, is this amount per person?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, That's not what your text said.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: So now I'm like, Okay, yeah, I I I I get it.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what in the world?
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, but so it it's those things, but I also I also will say that I the other thing that I love about our friend group is because we plan a lot of things so far out, we give people months or years to get things together.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, yeah, because what you sent these birthday stuff out, oh child, like I don't know, early part of the year, it's like April, April, May time frame, and his birthday isn't all the way until October next year.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I'm like, yeah, if you can't, if you can't get it together, um, I don't know if you're given that much time.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now, no one in our friend group ever has, but there are there are people who even for the wedding, even for all kinds of things, you have ample time.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I understand things come up and and whatnot, but people be in their feelings like they didn't have enough time.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you if you want to curate certain relationships or and not be offended, one just understand where you are financially and be res and be respectful to that and happy and comfortable about that.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: That you can't always show up for all things, and that should be okay.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: And your friends, if they're real friends, they're gonna they're gonna understand that.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: They're gonna be like, okay, you know, I I I get it, like girl, my money is not like that.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: So or is funny, yeah.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: Just like and and I'll put it out there when like even for your wedding at that time where I was, I'm trying to think of what I had a whole lot of things going on, and they would you was like, Well, the dress has to be in by this time, and I was like, Oh gosh, okay, didn't plan for that right there.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, because they had that window because they handmade.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they had because they handmake stuff, and you was like, girl, I got you, just send me the money when you when you get paid.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: And but I was honest, I was like, um, I'm not gonna beat that window because I didn't realize that there was a window for for things to be to be done, and people people lives be life in and things come up, unexpected expenses and and all of those things.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: And and I'll tell you, like, even right now, if I don't have things, it's not like I can't go to my savings and get it, but I'm disciplined enough that I don't want it that bad.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm not gonna go to the savings for that, uh, but I do get paid here, and you was like, girl, just send it to me when you get paid.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, okay, and I did.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I you I think that some friends are not ready to be that authentic in their relationships.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't feel like you can have that kind of conversation with your friends, then you need to ask yourself, are they that are they your friend?
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: Can I trust them?
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're embarrassed because you can't do it, it's like uh and you call this person your friend, and you can't share with them, or maybe your ego is too much in the way, yeah, and you've maybe touted this lifestyle that you really don't have, right?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: To keep up with the persona or what have you, and so now I can't go tell them that I don't have it because they're gonna be looking like, what you mean?
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you don't know someone's situation, and I will say this, and this is off the just I mean, for because I'm I'm friends with my husband, that's my that's my rider dad, that's my friend too.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: But I expect him to be honest with me from and he always has been from the jump.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: When we were dating, he would say, you know, I want to take you out, but don't don't do the most.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: He he knows me because I'm feeling like if if I afford what I want, but then I'm also respectful because this is somebody who wants to wine and dime me and treat me good.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't about like our money look different or anything else like that.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: He has a daughter in private school and and you know, other other life things that you know what I respect that.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: I respect the fact that he's honest, he's always been honest with me about where he's at because his his main goal was, you know what, my daughter, everything that that's for her, I'm gonna do whatever I can for her.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: And and private school is expensive, there's uniforms, there's all kinds of different things, and you know, just but but life be life is just life like that.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: You have five, you know, five rents and you have insurance and you have cars, and you have car notes, and you have car insurance, and and life insurance policies.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that some and and I feel like some women get offended.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, see, I see some stuff online are like, oh, if a man had a coupon, I wouldn't date him.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: He can't whine and dine me, I wouldn't date him.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: I like people, I don't give a damn who you are, whether you're my my husband, uh, my boyfriend at the time.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care who you are.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: I I like authenticity.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: I like you to be able to show up as who you are, where you are in that moment.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's isn't you're never going to be judged, you're never going to be talked about.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be going to God's been like, girl, she couldn't even afford this.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's not a that's not a friend.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_01: I have given away a lot of things just because people talk to me, and I'm like, girl, I got this here.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: Come come and get it.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: Furniture, this and that.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's things, and I don't value things, I value what's important to me.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: I value that this person is mentally healthy, physically healthy, spiritually healthy.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: Finances come and go.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the richest people can end up poor tomorrow.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: So some people need that harm.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I am never going to praise money and praise things that can go away.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: Never gonna do it, and so I think that that is the downfall of a lot of friendships because they have too many expectations, and and I don't I don't know.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: I I just don't understand how females can't have female friends.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: I say that now because I have such a great tribe, but I I like having I like having my girl squad.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, me too.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: I do what was I about to say?
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh oh, so we have these friends, and they're multimillionaires.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um and this is something they'll do.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and it's not that I feel bad, it's like, damn, they're gonna be like, they don't never want to go with us.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: No, it ain't that.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_00: This will be them.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, in two weeks we going to Africa.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: Wait a goddamn minute.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: Hold on.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_00: Are y'all going?
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hell no, we ain't.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: I can't.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: How?
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: Am I like, baby?
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: I need some time to plan and get my life.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like oh, we're going to Alabama and okay, a whole nother continent.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_00: Are we going to Nigeria?
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um I won't be able to make that.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or um, where did they just come back from?
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: Thailand.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh God.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: Baby, I baby, y'all gotta give me give me at least 90 days.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: 90 days, girl, give me six months.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying, I'm just not not not two weeks or nothing like that.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: That that's just too far.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's too far.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's too far.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: So this is the thing.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it so not like it was serious, but it was like, oh, you know, and I and I could understand it, but sometimes when people are they're they're they're connected to reality, but your reality ain't baby, my reality, because I I can't move and operate like that.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I see on paper how it could look like anytime y'all invite us somewhere, we can never go.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, y'all is last minted, okay, and yes, minted, last minted, we ain't over here balling like that, honey.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: Who about to take off?
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, my husband got to get approval from his job to be able to go to different countries, depending on he certain places take off.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: So then there's that.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are a multimillionaire and you want your friends to go, can you let us know?
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: Us who ain't multi-millionaires, can you let us know in advance?
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: Give us give us a window so that we can't honestly say it's not that we don't want to go, it's like it's not realistic for us to be able to go to these different places.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: Then now I gotta buy a flight.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: Do I gotta get shots?
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what all what all goes into this?
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: Where the hell are we standing at?
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: Everything's gonna be more expensive because two weeks, who gonna watch the kids?
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: What are we doing?
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, so and that even goes to show that even if they said we'll pay your way, it does life doesn't happen that way.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: You cannot just let me drop everything, like I don't have responsibility.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh baby, who gonna who's gonna compensate me for these patients I gotta cancel, or you're gonna go there and work.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, you know, I do that all the time.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's always no, and no matter where I go, I'm gonna take a work day, it's gonna be a day where I'm that is very true.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think the only the only time I really do last minute travel, it's gotta be serious, or it's for a friend like you, like you who don't plan nothing, and then all of a sudden we got a plan behind your back.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, let me let me go ahead and get my flight so I can I can show up for your 40th.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: That was that.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, what in the world?
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: Is she gonna do anything?
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then me and Villian was like, I said, Villian, we can't just let her not do nothing.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: So then I was she said, Well, go ahead and book a flight, we're gonna do something.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I booked my flight, and and what I did, I flew in and flew right back out, you know, because the you know the way time works.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: But for things like that, but that's just Orlando.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I would be like, let me just let me go and hop to another.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I ain't gonna say I didn't hop to another country because when my uh friend Ramon, after his dad passed, who's coming up, his dad's passing is coming up on one year, he was having a tough time, and he's working over in Germany, and he called me and he just broke down crying.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Do you need me to come there?
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: And he just said yes, and I'm like, let me let me let me book me a flight.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_01: I still it it I still went about three weeks later because of timing and whatnot, and me to sort things out, but I do believe in showing up, you know, for for things like that.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, had a good time while I was there.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: I worked also while I was there.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Let me preface that.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't take any time off or except for when I and I didn't take time off, but I so I traveled on the weekends because I splent to span two weekends.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: I traveled on the weekends, and in between that I would just work all week.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_01: But but but it's things like that that I would do, but it's still it's it's I have to plan for those things.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: I got a husband, I have a dog, I you know, I have to make sure, and I'm grateful that I have a husband that said yes, go make sure go be with him, you know, because he's like family to us, and so and he's so he's so giving and generous.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, shout out to Ramon because you know, my mom and my sister, my niece was just there in Germany and they stayed at his place.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: He wasn't even there, he wasn't even there.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, he mailed my mom the keys, like he mailed me the keys because he wasn't there the first day when we went there.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but he got back because he travels a lot and just is always gone.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so I do love the fact that he took good care of my family and and he wasn't there, but he still extended the same courtesy that he would to me.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's how you know you have real genuine friends.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_01: So for those people like that, you want to show up for friends like that, and he didn't he didn't say I'll pay your way or not, you don't have to, and I didn't have an expectation of that.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: My expectation was that you know what, my friends in need, I'm going, and then let me show, let me show up.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and even if I couldn't, he would have been okay with that.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: If I didn't put the offer out there, he would have been okay with that.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_01: But I I like that there was not an expectation, but there was a a desire and want for me to show up for my friend, and so and and I would never expect him to do that for me because that's not you know what I'm saying?
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like oh he he better show up and blah blah blah.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so I don't and I wouldn't want relationships like that.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_01: Anything for shouldn't be.
• 50:01
  unknown: Right.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_01: Anything for shouldn't be, and and so how I always say, um, sometimes if if well not sometimes all the time, if you if you know how to be a friend, you attract real friends.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's true, yeah.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I've had to to learn how to become a better friend and a better friend, but I think part of that for me becoming a better friend was just saying, let me be me.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: Good, battering different.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: My friends know me, good, battery and different.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's why we all can travel together.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: We know the quirks, we know who's what, we know who's gonna be in the room, we know who to look for, we know, like we know we you're not walking too far for too long because your mother's gonna hurt.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Lord is gonna hit Baby.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do we have a scooter?
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: Where is your scooter?
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: Do we have uh a wheelchair?
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what yeah, but so and so that's how you you know you cultivate relationships off of honesty.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I and I mean I'm in a group, I'm not even I'm in a Facebook group, and I just see so many different things.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I've actually hung out with some of the women there in the group, and as I see some of them having bad experiences, yeah, and I'm like, how do you have a bad experience with people you just meet unless you are immediately judgmental, or you get upset?
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I went out once, but then we've not been in touch anymore.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: Have you reached out?
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right, because when people say, Hey stranger, communication goes two ways, and and life is life.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I have not talked to Tammy, the one I was at that the pictures that you do you all just saw on my social media.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I went to Chicago.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh geez, it was so many years ago.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, at least six years, and we all hung out, me, her, my husband, everybody, and we weren't even married then, but we hung it, hung out.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: We had a good time.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I had talked to Tammy since that time.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like I see her online and whatever, but a day didn't change.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: I told her, hey, I'm gonna um I'm flying into Chicago.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you're free.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was going there early just so that I can hang out with her and whatnot.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: If she says she wasn't free, I'm like, you know what?
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'll probably just go in and do some work.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: But she was free, and she picked me up from the airport, we had a great time.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_01: And you would have never thought that six years, five or six years had passed.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: So just because, you know, and I and I and I'm one I don't use the term friend loosely, but I have really great friends.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: And even somebody that I was um I would chit chat with messaged me, and they was like, God damn, you have friends everywhere, or you know, and he said actually he said, You know people everywhere, and I said, I do, I really do, almost anywhere that I can go.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_01: I I I know people, or I know people that know people who know my energy and connect me with good people there, like Charlotte.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, didn't know I don't really know anyone in Charlotte.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_01: Jay knew Jay know people in Charlotte.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know people in Charlotte, but I had when I told one of my friends um that I was going there, she said, Oh, I got the perfect person you need to thank you, Katrina Pope, because you hooked me up.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, she was like, Hey, I got a girl there that you know, that's my friend, it's my road dog.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: And Naima was so sweet, shout her out too.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, What's your email?
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna send you groups and information and stuff so that you can get acquainted with Charlotte and all of that stuff.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then she surprised me and sent me a Starbucks gift card.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_01: And she didn't have to, and so it's it's things like that that just like, oh, I told her, I said, Oh, you didn't have to, she said, you know, I hope you get to, you know, to like it.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully, we can connect soon, and and all of those things, but it's always these little things, absolutely, it's always the little things, and so if you show up and your energy is good and you stay true to yourself and you stay authentic, you will always make the you will always get the right connections to build relationships.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I just really do feel bad for some people who might be introverts and they really can't find friends.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_00: For example, I think about some of my clients who have not had the best experiences with friends, um, just some of the stories I hear, and I'm like, dang, or some people who just can't make friends, right?
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: They they just don't have them, not because they don't want them, not because they don't lend themselves friendly, but but maybe because their lifestyle has not put them in a situation for them to have friends.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_00: They might be a stay-at-home wife, they might be with the kids all day.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_00: So when I do want to go out, I already don't got nobody to connect with.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I if I go out, I'm going out by myself.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, unless I meet somebody at a bar, but what's the likelihood that I'm gonna meet somebody at the bar?
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just going out as a mom.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: Hell, half the time, I might not even know what the hell is going on.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just trying to have me a nice drink.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_00: So being social and wanting to relax while watching kids the whole week, while either my husband is at an um event or uh travel for work.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is my time to relax and really trying to get to a place where they can find friendships.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I just be like, damn, and it ain't for a lack of not trying, it's just that you know, I might meet some, and so I'm always like, You well, have you found like moms of Orlando groups or moms of Texas groups or where you live, and seeing if you have common interests, like common interest groups.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_00: And one was like, I tried it, we went in, you know, we went out and had a good time, not to a club, wherever they went, and she was like, I don't know.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_00: For some reason, I I reached out, and it just seems like now they're always so busy, so it's not from a lack of trying, right, to connect, and I just be like, Well, I can't I count myself lucky because the way in which I've been able to meet people and like let me tell you what Morgan said.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Mommy, did you know Auntie Pam moved into a new house?
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, She moved to a whole new state.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Why didn't I know this?
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I just finding this out?
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_00: I said, How did she know that she must have seen my post or something?
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think she saw it.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, she didn't tell me anything.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Well, I don't know if she was just gonna call you by yourself, Morgan, and be like, Hey Morgan, you know, so being able to meet people and have like aunties, because I'm an only child, so I don't have any, she doesn't have any biological aunts and uncles from me.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_00: So being able for me to give her all these aunties that she has, I think is I don't know, it's priceless.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Tasani is the same way.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_01: Tasani is an only child, yeah.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so her son has aunties because of her the makeup of her friends, yeah.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it is so it's so fine, so vital.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_01: I and I'm gonna look this up because I think this would be such a dope idea.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they have speed dating.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think they should have speed, like it's all for friends.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that would be something that would be that would be excellent and do it like a fun girl's brunch, but just do like a I don't know what they would call it, not a speed dating.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: If anybody's looking at this, tell me, you know, I would love to hear in the comments of one or the other, you know, either in when this we post some clips back, and I'll have to make sure and tell the podcast manager to run this one this part specifically.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_01: I would be very interested to see if any women would actually participate in like a speed friendship type of thing and or speed acquaintance.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I would call it friendship, but a speed get together or just where you know you you find connections and frenzy.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we have to think about this, but I would love to put something like that together for for women who either have a hard time making friends and just and so there is a you know, there's no questionnaire, there's not nothing, but you just you know quickly spend time, and then after that, you know, breaking bread is always so nice and important, you know.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_01: Then just having breath, and then you can, if you've made those relationships, kind of sit at the same table and get to know people.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I just think that would be really, really great.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: I would totally do that.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_01: I would do that.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have to, I'm telling you, I'm gonna have to test this out.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm just curious if any women will go.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: I I have to figure out what I would call it, but yeah, because they have it for dating, but do they have it for for for female connections?
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't, and I'm not talking about networking, that no, we ain't talking about businesses, we're talking about connecting, connections like real, and and I and I use the word intimate deliberately.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think real intimate connections where I don't want to know what you do for work, that's not important to me.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know who you are outside of work, right?
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's what's most important, you know.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_01: I always tell so even in interviews and stuff now, and they're like, tell me about yourself.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_01: I used to talk about business.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm like, oh, I love food.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a I'm a dog mom, I'm a foodie, I love to travel, I I love this and that.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so I know exactly who I am, I know struggle points of things that I want to work on and different things like that.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_01: That I'm open to just saying, here is who I am, take me for who I am.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, or leave me alone because I might not be your cup of tea.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_00: You might think, Oh, girl, you got too much energy.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_00: Calm down.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's too much.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, or you might be light watching paint dry, girl.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be one sided, I'm gonna be the only one talking.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, but you get to find for some people that real, real laid back, low-key chill about, that's what they're looking for.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_00: For some other people, it's like high energy all the time.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then I might want this and that, and I want a low-key energy friend and a high energy friend, and I'm in the middle of the the balance, so it really just depends.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think that would be great, it would be good, and and you're not necessarily there for a single person, you have an opportunity to build connections and to build a tribe.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was just gonna say kind of like building your the the the the tribe that you can vibe with, like yeah, finding your tribe to vibe.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, vibes and tribes, tribes and vibes, tribes and vibes, all right, tribe and find your tribe and vibe, yeah.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: See, look at that.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_01: We just talking that it just came out, and it came out, so you know what?
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: If you if you would be interested in something like that, let us know.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe we could do it in two different places.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_01: You can twist it out and continue or I can't.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you already have friends already, I like we talk about this all the time.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be like no new friends because you never really know what type of person.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine if me and you were close to no new friends, like close.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_01: I got all the friends that I have, like, oh yeah, because I wouldn't have met Billy and I wouldn't have met Jerry, I wouldn't have met Nelly.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, just look at like all of the connections, right?
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, what yeah, and then you wouldn't have met Diana and Tosani and oh my god, Diana, your mom and your sisters, yeah, the guys wouldn't have got together that part, yeah.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_01: So and and and so the other part is if you are not comfortable with your friends making and forging friendships with your new friends for you, you have to be open to to build your tribe.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_01: There is no, oh, that's my friend, and so she better not she's not better friend than me.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I uh uh I don't want that.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_01: She's I'm more of a friend than she is, or uh or the jealousy over having relationships outside.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I didn't get no invite, not everything you're meant to go to.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_01: So if the the whole conversation, we're gonna have to have you out there because you know, I think from a therapeutic standpoint, these are you know, we can also have discussions there for people who have a difficult time, yeah.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but to build this the right way, and what I do trouble tribe therapy, therapy for friends.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have that trouble tribe therapy, triple T.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, and it's therapy for friends because sometimes friendship breakups hurt more than intimate relationship breakups.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we're gonna do this.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm gonna I'm telling you, I think that would be so cool.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_01: That would be so cool.
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna do that in we're gonna have to do it in two places.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_01: Either we'll do it in one in Charlotte and we would test one out in Orlando area.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think Charlotte is good, and you can definitely like put that on because people are.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_00: I talk to so many people, and they're like, I don't really have friends again, not because they're saying friendship friends are trash, but they just genuinely don't have them, or they're in two different spaces in their lives where baby, I'm trying to breastsee, and my happy look in the mess, and I'm going, ah, and y'all living y'all best life with y'all adult children, like you don't want to hear me talking about goddamn, I got spit up on me, and I couldn't sleep last night, and we we might be in two different places, and sometimes there are different seasons for friendships, and that's okay.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_00: So you may need to meet people where I'm not throwing away my other friends because they're my friends, but sometimes you need people who can meet you where you are in that particular season where you are.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you know what?
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_01: The other part is sometimes you can't reach that other season until you let someone new in that can speak life into you.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_01: See, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_01: But uh, we are past the time.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_01: This was so getting so good.
• 1:04:57
  unknown: I know, right?
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know what, where can everybody follow you at?
• 1:05:03
  SPEAKER_00: Find me at the girlfriend therapist on all social media platforms, also at the new art, you know, I R Center on all social media platforms and smile S M-I-L-E facilitation services on Instagram.
• 1:05:17
  SPEAKER_01: All right, and you can find me on all social media platforms at I am Dr.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_01: P.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_01: Gurley.
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_01: You can also follow the VGBB Literacy Foundation or the Brown Girl Brown Boy series.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, thank you so much for tuning in to tonight's episode.
• 1:05:31
  SPEAKER_01: I can't wait for this playback.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I am really serious.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'd like to know if if a uh vibe out friendship time, you know, to build relationships would be something you are interested in.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_01: Either hit us in the chat, hit us in the DM, send us an email.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_01: The dog send us to the dog.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_00: She was supposed to eat at seven.
• 1:05:51
  SPEAKER_01: So email uh at uh have perspiration happy hour at gmail.
• 1:05:56
  SPEAKER_01: Again, thank you so much for tuning in.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_01: We'll be seeing you same time, same place next week, Wednesday.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_01: Have an amazing week.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_00: Cheers.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_01: This is Perspiration Happy Hour.