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Why Your Words Will Make You Or Break You · Salon Success Secrets — The podcast for salon owners who are done hustling harder and ready to break their revenue ceiling.

• 0:32
  Speaker 1: come across a word and you're like, what does that word mean?
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: And then you can't even focus on the rest of the paragraph because you're still stuck on that one word.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Today we're going to uncover you know why your words will make or break you and why it's so important to understand the assignment that we give to words every single day.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, because what we know is that words are a powerful tool that shapes our reality, shapes our relationships and even our internal well-being, and so this episode will explore why the words you choose can either build your success or totally sabotage it.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so let's first kick off with what are reactive definitions and look at the power of words.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Let's say, for example a lot of times we don't realize that words can trigger automatic emotional or mental reactions based upon our personal experiences, our personal experiences.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: So let's say, for example, a hairbrush like.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: If you like, as a child, if you're, you know, maybe you were spanked with a hairbrush like.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Your definition of hairbrush may be different than somebody that doesn't have that same experience.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: So it's so interesting how, as we go through life, we attach our own definitions to words without truly understanding what that word really means.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know it's, it's.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: It's like we're all walking around with a hundred different um, you know meanings to different words and there's there's that reactive definition, um, and then there's also you know the true definition of what something is, and so you know, just even like the word wealth, you know, I think, that that can be a word that invokes some emotion or triggers a reactive definition for a lot of people.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: You know, for some it can mean abundance, but to others it can mean greed or guilt.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: You know, and so a lot of times people will have this reactive, uh, definition to the word wealth, um, when truly it has absolutely nothing to even do with the word.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: It's just, you know, stories or beliefs that they've attached to that word.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Because when you look up the word wealth in the actual dictionary we love the age dictionary, so the American heritage dictionary or age dictionarycom but what wealth is?
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: It's an abundance of valuable material possessions or resources, or it's also the state of being rich or affluence, and so you know it actually doesn't have any positive or negative meanings to the word, it's just describing what it is.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: And so a lot of times, you know, people will have that reaction to certain words, but they can sometimes limit people's possibilities.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: You know, and if you're trying to create a really big future, if you have a really limited belief around something, for example, like the word wealth, um, your chances of hitting it are zero because you don't actually believe it's true or possible.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I love it that you said that lens Cause, like, really, if you spent time with yourself on just kind of reflecting on your personal definition of common words, like it would open up so many opportunities for you because in that moment you would be able to see, hey, are the definitions that I have attached to these words are they helping me, are they hurting me, and so just a beautiful thing to look at?
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Um, there's a book called the hidden messages and water, and and this book, um, they talk about you know, if you take two glasses of water, and one glass of water like you speak a lot of positive words to it, like love, gratitude, like creating, like beautiful things, you're a beautiful, you're amazing and then the other glass of water if you actually speak words of like hate and fool, or you don't know what you're doing, or you know chaos, um, you know, they took, they did this with these two cups of water, they froze them, and then the scientist who was doing this experiment takes the water out and he looks at the formation of this ice under a microscope and what he saw was that the cup of water that was spoken to with those like beautiful, positive words actually formed like snowflake crystals, so they were beautiful.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: And then when he looked at the word the cup of water, or more of the negative words were spoken to, they were actually like broken pieces.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: And you know, through this experiment he was able to say you know, if water, if words can influence water like that, and our bodies are like over 60 percent water Think about that Like the profound effect that words have on our bodies and our mind is so incredible.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: That is an amazing story, you know, I think it.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: It would be just so interesting, you know, if we could see, um, truly in our physical bodies, like you were just talking about, what they saw during that experiment.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Experiment.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: You know, I think, um, you know, there's probably some similar stories that we could think of with, like plants, um, and just different things like how, like how it's so important um, the environment that people are in, but mostly those words, like how much weight those words carry.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: You know, I think another thing that comes to mind for me is the difference between want versus desire.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: So, and Myron Golden shares this beautiful perspective I don't, if you don't follow him or haven't checked him out, he's a, he's got some great perspectives on things, but when he talks about this it's from a religious standpoint.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: But really it's just what we're pointing out here is the word want, and so in the, in the Bible, there's a passage that says the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: You know's a passage that says the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: And a lot of people view the word want as I mean.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: The word want itself actually has two different meanings, and one of them is lack, and one of them is desire.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: So one of them is you want because you have a lack, and the other one is you want because you them is desire.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: So one of them is you want because you have a lack and the other one is you want because you have a desire.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: And those are both definitions of the word want, and so it's.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: You know the lack would be as in I want for nothing, meaning you lack nothing, or you know I lack having this in my life and so I really wish I had it, you know.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: But then desire would be I want, this Meaning like you aspire to have something greater in your life.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: And so you know, this duality in the definition of the word want can really create confusion, especially in that phrase like, like the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, because, um, some interpret it as I shall not lack, but others struggle because they associate want, want with longing or desiring something.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, gosh, that's a.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: That's a really beautiful story and I remember when I heard that story I was like, oh my gosh, that makes so much sense Because, like, when you truly don't understand the definitions like the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want like it really creates that confusion.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: And then, you know, when we think about the word desire I don't know if you said this, but like, when I think about the root word of desire, that means day means from desire, that means from the father, it means father.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: So desire means from the father.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: So you've got the word want that can have two different, different definitions.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: And then you got the word desire.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: That means from the father.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: And so can you see how, like, if you truly understand that, like, you're going to probably use the word desire more with your team versus the word want.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Like you know, I've been in a growth session before.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you really want?
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: But like and that could create confusion but like just the magical part of saying, hey, what do you really desire?
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Like that's where you're really able to make that connection with somebody and and and help them create the lifestyle that they want to live.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that really does make a huge impact and it makes you think about all of those just little words like, um, just kind of like, with people's realities not being in alignment.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: So you might go ask somebody you know on your guest experience or your hospitality host team.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Um, you know, hey, can you go clean this, this shelf over here?
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: And they're like, oh yeah, sure, absolutely.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: And then you, you go back later that day and you realize the shelf still wasn't cleaned and you're like, hey, what happened?
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: You know, I thought I, uh, we talked about, you know, getting this shelf cleaned over here.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: And they're like, oh, yeah, and in their mind they're they interpreted it as, uh, I'll get to that whenever I feel like it sometime this week, you know, and in your mind you're like, hey, can you go over and do that right away, Like, make that a priority.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: And so you know sometimes like we are missing a few words when we are, you know, handing out and you know just instructions or ways to do things, and we aren't even aware that, hey, maybe we missed adding some words in or maybe they have a different definition of what clean is, because maybe they were like, oh yeah, I did clean it, and to them.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: They went over and just Swiffered the tops of them and you were like, oh, I wanted you to take them off and clean off the bottles and wipe down the shelves and, you know, reorganize the little shelf talkers and all that good stuff, you know.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: And so, just realizing that everybody might have a different definition of what clean is actually, and and how do you get crystal clear, um, with somebody, especially if they're new on your team, because nobody's a mind reader and just knowing, hey, you're going to have to clear some words and and, and you know, really start to create that shared reality with somebody, um, if you are, you know, wanting to create a really desired results on the other side.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: I love that, because I love that you said those words shape your reality.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: You know, I was just in a conversation with someone the other day and I said, okay, well, tell me, like, what are you telling yourself in that moment when a client cancels?
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: And she's like, oh well, I'm just telling myself that I'm that maybe I shouldn't be doing this or I'm not good enough, and I say, see, like, if you continue to say those words to yourself, that could shape your entire reality.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Let's think of a different way to say that, Like, you know, because clients aren't going to cancel your brand new, you're kind of in that visible stage of starting your, you know your journey and so like, instead of saying you know I'm not good enough and maybe I shouldn't be doing this because a client canceled, let's just think of, like, this is an opportunity to learn more.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Right now, you know a client canceled, but I'm going to continue to learn.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to jump on a video, try to a new technique on a mannequin, and so like, that's going to enhance your reality versus take away from your reality by saying the other.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Wow, I mean, you know, it does just make you wonder how many more people would still be in the industry if they had somebody like you, jen, as their leader.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: That helped them create a new reality.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Because, you know, I think as human beings we are all guilty on some level, whether you know it's large or small of not thinking about how impactful those words are in shaping our whole identity.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like I feel like positive affirmations are such a buzzword right now, but it really is totally like the difference between saying I'm terrible at this versus I'm learning this.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: You know, because when you think about, like a, a baby, uh, when they first start to walk, when they're, you know, starting to become toddlers, um, you know it would be so weird if we were like, oh, you're terrible at walking.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: You know, um, we're like cheering them on.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: We're like, yay, you just took your first step.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: That's so exciting, you know, um, but why does that stop, you know, after you're a baby?
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Because you know we see people come into our industry all the time.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: And of course, you don't know how to cut hair.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: You've never cut hair before.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Of course, you don't know how to give a facial You've never given one before, you know, and so it's like I don't.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: It's probably happening a lot in school, you know, and I'm sure it's unintentional, but it's still happening.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: You know where in the classroom we're not creating the environment where people are saying I'm learning this.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: What they're saying is I'm terrible at this.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: You know, and, and I've actually been seeing it a lot in my household right now I have a 14 year old that's learning to drive and you know she, it's been a, it's been a great journey.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: If you've had a 14 year old driver in your house, or you will at some point in time, you can relate, you know, but she was.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: She told me you know I hate driving.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: And I said, okay, um, why do you hate driving?
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: And she's like, well, and she started naming off you know, you don't know what other drivers are doing on the road and all this stuff, you know.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: And, um, I was like, okay, I, I understand, you know, and but probably everything that's been new for you, you didn't enjoy it when it first started.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: But instead of you saying cause, she also said you know, I'm not good at it.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, but nobody's good at it.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: You know, you're basically programming your subconscious mind on how to drive right now.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: So these, this is like the most important formable time during you driving, and so I'm going to do whatever it takes.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I want you to be able to drive through the rain, the snow, dark light, whatever's going on.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Um, because I know that this is going to shape the rest of your future.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: Because if you've ever driven home from work before and not known how you get there, you know how powerful that subconscious mind is when it comes to driving.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: And so you know, really helping her understand like hey, you're learning this and this is a really exciting time and it's going to give you so much freedom on the other side, you know, has really helped her change the way that she sees it.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: And just even focusing in on those words, you know, if we can do it in our households, we can do it in our salon companies.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Um, it really does start to shape a totally new identity for the people that we're working with and a totally new reality for all of us.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Such a good story, good story.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Um so, um, you're probably thinking, okay, this is all great, but like, how?
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Like, how do I really put some actual takeaways away?
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Like, and you know, the first thing we would recommend that you do is like audit your words, just like you audit your business.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Like audit your words, pay attention to how you speak to yourself and how you speak to others.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: You know, and think about those words that are limiting you.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: How can we replace those with words that empower you?
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: It's the same thing when you're teaching your team, too, because usually they're really great at using words that limit them.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: And so, being aware of those words you know, being aware of those limiting beliefs they have about themselves, and helping them create that new space for a new opportunity.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Another thing you can do, like Lindsay was saying, is that gratitude, you know, practicing gratitude, like when you're waking up or when you're going to bed, or just anytime during the day, just pausing for a moment and just think of, like three things that you're grateful for.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Um, you know, and those positive affirmations, because speaking words that align with the life you want to create is priceless, so good.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is so good, Um, you know, and I think even to um, just really tuning into the language that you're using with others, whether it's fostering that connection or creating division, you know.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: So, the next time a situation arises, instead of reacting defensively with, like you always, um, you could respond with, you know, I feel that's a, that's a good way to look at it.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: I think, even you know, we recently had a gentleman come in to our salon that was upset that he thought somebody that was in our salon parked too close to his vehicle and uh, was just really, uh, very reactive.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: And I, you know, just said you know, kindly, you know, I'm on your team, I want you to win, we're going to get to the bottom of this, we're going to find a resolution.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: And so, even thinking about that, when you get a guest call back, you know, remembering that you're on their team, you want them to feel confident, and you know so.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: So another actionable thing that you can do is just reframe your desires, you know so, align your desires with your higher purpose and then eliminate the language that's rooted in lack.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: So, really thinking about that, when you have that guest callback, you know, um, and then you could also just experiment, like we talked about the, the water experiment.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Jen Jen shared that story um earlier.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Um that just you know, talked about how the in the ice crystals, how they could see physical differences.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: So try speaking positively to yourself for just a week and see what happens.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: You know that would be a really incredible experiment to try.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all right.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Well, thanks so much for tuning in.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: If you love this podcast and it's made a transformation in your life, please share it with another salon owner that you know will love it just as much.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: And just remember that your words have so much power and, you know, at the end of the day, we get to make the choice of the words that we use to speak to others and to speak to ourselves.