Latest / High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm / Does God Have Your Heart?

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Does God Have Your Heart? · High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm

• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the High Level White Podcast.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Chelsea Holm, your hostess, and here we do marriage God's Way.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And this is going to probably like maybe knock you off your rocker a little bit because we're going to talk about marriage, but we're actually going to start where we need to start.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the question is does God have your heart?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because before your spouse can hold your heart, God must have it.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: We spend so much time about giving our heart to our spouse, right?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Protecting our heart, opening our heart, healing our heart.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I think we're skipping the first question God asks of us every day, every one of us, do I have your heart?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not because God needs your heart or needs your love.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: God doesn't need anything, He's complete in Himself.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: He asks because He desires intimacy with us.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: He desires and longs for us.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what heaven will be.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be restoration of that intimacy with the Father.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Until we understand this, we're going to keep looking for our spouse to satisfy a longing that was created for God.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And we see this in scripture because the greatest commandment tells us everything.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: When Jesus was asked, what is the greatest commandment?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't say love your spouse or your family or your ministry.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Love the Lord your God with all your heart.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because God has always been after our hearts.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not about our performance.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout scripture, he continually exposes people who honor him externally while their hearts are somewhere else.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about religious activity.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's about relationship.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about asking, what can you do for me?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what he's asking us.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: He's not asking, What can you do for me?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: He's asking, will you give me your heart?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Are your eyes on me?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do I have your focus?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Am I your desire?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Can you truly say there is nothing to desire in this world besides you, God?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's the question he's asking.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: What do you desire right now more than me?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Is your desire for me?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because your husband is asking the same question, and so are you.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: But but how can we how can we answer those questions in our marriage if we're not asking that question and walking that out with God first?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, God is not asking us, will you give me your heart because he needs it?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: He's asking because he knows what happens when he doesn't have it.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's when our hearts wander and we get stuck in the weeds of our marriage, looking to our spouse or our children or success, looking to comfort or sex or emotional intimacy or control or approval.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And we're always going to worship something.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: The question is whether it's the creator or it's his gifts, right?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Are we looking to the created, the creation to fulfill what only God, the creator, has put in us that only he can do?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: So again, this is where we get stuck.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: We're asking, how do I give my heart to my husband?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: How do I trust my wife again?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: But we're asking the wrong questions because the first question is, has my heart first been surrendered to God?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because you cannot entrust your heart to another person until you first entrusted it to the one who created it.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why God's order is so important.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't say to love your spouse first and then love him.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: He says, Love me with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's love others.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that order matters because love that begins with God doesn't depend on another person to survive because they cannot bear that burden.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: But God also teaches us how to receive love.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to think about this for a second.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, many of us struggle to receive love from our spouse, especially wives.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because we've never fully received God's love.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: We know about it, we believe it intellectually in our heads, but we've never actually rested in it.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: We've never allowed ourselves to be wanted by God.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know that God wants you and He wants all of you?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Not to be tolerated or merely forgiven, wanted, loved, delighted in every week when I pray over the wives before the call.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I always say, God, delight in your daughters as we delight in you.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you begin living from that place, you stop chasing your spouse to fill what's already overflowing.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then marriage becomes an overflow.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is the beautiful thing that happens.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that your spouse doesn't like, it's not that they become less important, but they become rightly ordered.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have the freedom to pursue them because you're pursuing God first.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: You have the freedom to enjoy them because you are enjoying God and you are fully receiving and sitting in his presence of his enjoyment in you.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're able to delight in your spouse because you know the Father is delighted in you and you delight in his presence.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's because Christ already has.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, now your heart can be held by your spouse without asking them to carry what only God can.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was watching a sermon by uh Pastor Josh Howerton, I believe his name is, um, from Life Point Church.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And um, he was doing a series on intimacy and specifically specifically Song of Solomon.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And he had just shared that, you know, a husband, this is generally speaking, that a man wants to be pursued and desired, and they will enter into emotional intimacy through the gate of physical intimacy, and women are the complete opposites, where we will enter through the gate of physical intimacy when we first have emotional intimacy, right?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so what happens in marriage, and you probably feel this tension, who goes first, right?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Who goes first?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: But unfortunately, what happens is we come to a stalemate, and then we have years of rejection, and then we have years of bracing and blocking and excusing, and we're not doing the very things that God's word commands us.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I have some practical questions to ask yourself today.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Does God truly have my heart, or does he just have my habits?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Are you reading your Bible and praying because you're checking a box?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Are you going to church because you're checking a box?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or does he truly have your heart?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Where do I run to first when I'm lonely, anxious, or discouraged?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Am I going to the Lord and saying, God, I feel anxious right now, but your word says, be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Present your request to God.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm doing that.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm receiving the peace that surpasses all understanding that guards my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Is that what we do?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Am I expecting my spouse to give me what I've neglected to receive from God?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we give our hearts fully to God, He is able to heal what only He can do.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then, because of that, we are then able to let our hearts be held by our spouse out of overflow and to hold our spouse's hearts as well.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do I spend as much intentional time pursuing God's heart as I wish my spouse would pursue mine?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: What is consuming our thoughts?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: What is consuming your thoughts for the most part of your day?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: What are you thinking about?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Are you thinking about the lack of pursuit from your spouse that you want?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Are you thinking of the lack of desire in your spouse for you?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you thinking about the Lord and how much you desire to be in his presence?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are you thinking about his word?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Are you are you looking intently throughout your day to thank him for things?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: What you see and what you hear, what you taste, what you touch, what you smell.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Are you intently looking for God's hand in your life and over you?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: So this series isn't about learning to love your spouse better.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: That is the low-level fruit.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: That is the gimmick teaching that we get in most of the world when it comes to marriage.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what we're doing here.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about God's design, and God's design first is rooted in how He created us in His image.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because it was always about the oneness and the intimacy of relationship with the Father, first and foremost.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's about allowing yourself to be loved by God more deeply.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because the wife who knows she's deeply loved by the Father loves differently, right?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: She's secure.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: The husband who knows he's fully accepted in Christ, he has courage and he is confident.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: In each of these, they pursue differently.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not out of emptiness or out of fear, it's it's from security of belonging to him, capital H.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because before your spouse can faithfully hold your heart, God must first have it.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to reiterate some of the things that I've said over this episode because I think that these are these are the money lines, my friends.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: These are the ones to pause and take note of.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: To let these things roll around in your mind and meditate on them.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: God doesn't ask for your heart because he needs you, he asks because he wants you.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: The first question in marriage isn't, does my spouse have my heart?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's does God.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot entrust your heart to another until you first entrusted it to the one who created it.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: The more secure your heart is in God, the freer it becomes to love your spouse without fear.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And last but not least, marriage flourishes when two hearts are first captivated by Christ before they are captivated by each other.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you on the next episode.