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I Sold Both of My Kidneys... · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I sold both my kidneys to buy a tailor swift ticket.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Should have thought that one through. It's one more thing,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: one more thing before we get to the concert tickets.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Thing occurs to me, Katie that Joe being gone last
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: week week is not up to speed in my budding
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: romance with my Ukrainian girlfriend. Well this is a must. Yes,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I need to bring Joe to speed on this. Well
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: now I I heard some of it, right, but so
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: the uh I haven't finished it off yet. Yeah, it's escalated,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: go a bit. But oh I love love story, oh
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  Speaker 1: with triplets? Yes, uh so obviously it's a scam right,
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  Speaker 1: So however this occurred where somebody the any of the
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  Speaker 1: eight million ways somebody could have gotten my email address.
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  Speaker 1: Some scammer is pretending to be a hot young Ukrainian
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  Speaker 1: who is desperately in love with me, having never met me.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, just really constantly calling me. She is your charisma,
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  Speaker 1: I guess, so, my beautiful rose Jack. Why haven't I heard? Why?
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  Speaker 1: I don't want to hear from more often? All that
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  Speaker 1: sort of stuff. But anyway, hands precious diamond, your precious diamond.
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  Speaker 1: That's right, she called me her precious diamond. Wow. But Uh.
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  Speaker 1: Hanson came in the.
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  Speaker 2: What are the beautiful rose a giant of love?
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  Speaker 1: The what I got your giant right here? But so
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  Speaker 1: what I was waiting for. I was waiting for what's
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  Speaker 1: the scam going to be? And I've barely played along
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  Speaker 1: with the you know, nice to hear from me. How
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  Speaker 1: are you doing? That's all respond and then she'll give
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  Speaker 1: me Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: We went through the process, so it's like the introduction,
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  Speaker 3: then the love bombing, and then the crisis, which is
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  Speaker 3: where the money comes into.
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  Speaker 1: Play, right, But the crisis hasn't occurred yet, so we're
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  Speaker 1: wondering what it's going to be. Is she going to say,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: you know, I got a bad medical diagnosis, or I've
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  Speaker 1: been thrown in jail or my mom's sake or what is?
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  Speaker 1: And I was just interested in that. Hanson came up
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  Speaker 1: with the idea that you hit her first to see
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  Speaker 1: how she reacts. I need to say I'm in jail,
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  Speaker 1: or I got a bad night diagnosis, I desperately need
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  Speaker 1: one thousand dollars.
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  Speaker 3: Oh.
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  Speaker 1: I love that idea. So I haven't done that yet,
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  Speaker 1: but I think that's a funny idea to see how
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  Speaker 1: the scammer reacts. That I love you so but to
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: be together for the rest of our lives. I need
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: to cure this prostate cancer and I just don't have
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  Speaker 1: the money or whatever. It is, all right, So I
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  Speaker 1: know something about this, and I don't remember the term.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: But you need to if you want to, you know,
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  Speaker 1: be the mirror image of it. You ask for something
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  Speaker 1: really small first to establish the the trust and the
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  Speaker 1: you ramp up your requests. You don't start at one
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  Speaker 1: thousand dollars.
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  Speaker 3: Didn't you say something along the lines of you were
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  Speaker 3: going to ask for a couple hundred in order to
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  Speaker 3: go see her?
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  Speaker 1: Right? Yeah, yeah, I'm just three short up to that.
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  Speaker 1: I'm just a couple hundred dollars short of being able
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  Speaker 1: to fly to see you. Okay, you know what, that's
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  Speaker 1: pretty good. Yeah, don't ask for the whole ticket. Finally,
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  Speaker 1: your beautiful Rose can be ensconced in You're wonderful, whatever
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  Speaker 1: it is.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're one hundred bucks short on a plane ticket.
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  Speaker 1: That's all. That's all. I need to fly to Key
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  Speaker 1: to see whichever of these five different girls you keep
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  Speaker 1: texting me pictures of is you as they don't even
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  Speaker 1: narrow it down to one foot Take chick, that's One
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  Speaker 1: of the funniest parts of it is it's a bunch
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  Speaker 1: of different Sometimes she's a short hair brunette. Sometimes she's
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  Speaker 1: a long haired bond. Sometimes she's kind of short muscular,
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  Speaker 1: sometimes she's tall and live. It depends on the right
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  Speaker 1: the angle you get her.
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  Speaker 2: She's hitting all the bases just to find out what
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  Speaker 2: he likes.
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  Speaker 1: But that's what it is. But that's what it is.
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  Speaker 1: You like short, muscular and got one for you, all right,
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  Speaker 1: So explain this to me. You're the sucker, the fish
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  Speaker 1: who falls for the scam. You'd have to be behind
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  Speaker 1: a moron. That's that's what hooked me in the first place.
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  Speaker 1: Is it was so over the top from from the
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  Speaker 1: word go. It's like you have to be a completely
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  Speaker 1: or like mentally retarded. Really well, yeah, but let's see
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  Speaker 1: what I'm asking Katie. Feel free to jump in. But
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  Speaker 1: is help me through the thought process of the guy
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  Speaker 1: who gets pictures of five different chicks and thinks, yeah, okay,
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna send her the money or whatever. They're all white,
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  Speaker 1: so they're similarly ish.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I.
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  Speaker 1: Can tell one white chick from another.
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  Speaker 2: I think they're just targeting really lonely old men. To
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  Speaker 2: be honest with you. I mean they's so well no, no,
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  Speaker 2: I mean jacket.
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  Speaker 1: They they shoot their shot.
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  Speaker 3: You know, they find an email address, clearly it's a dude,
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  Speaker 3: and then they just go for it. But I you
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  Speaker 3: know all the news stories that you hear about people
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  Speaker 3: actually falling for these scams. They're elderly and usually living
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  Speaker 3: on their own or their family isn't there to stop
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  Speaker 3: them from doing this.
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  Speaker 1: As a lovely old man, I really hate that sort
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: of talk. Hello, Hello, my dearest sweetheart jack Jackie Armstrong,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: my precious handsome made music even Oh my god, thank
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  Speaker 1: you so much for your wonderful letter. Your letter was
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  Speaker 1: a real present for me today. That's when I responded
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  Speaker 1: with sup or more or less? You know, why don't
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  Speaker 1: you write me every day? If you're thinking about me?
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  Speaker 1: It will be impossible for us to build a happy
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  Speaker 1: relationship if we do not talk to each other every day.
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  Speaker 1: If you do not answer, if you do not answer
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  Speaker 1: my letters, don't tell me anything about yourself. And I
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  Speaker 1: have medications a two way street, and I have told
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: her nothing about myself, and I mean nothing wrong. She's
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: not wrong. You're being neglectful, Yes, Michael, I am you
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  Speaker 1: got to feed a beautiful love like this one and
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  Speaker 1: the other thing that I like, and then we'll let you.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: We'll move on. Well, there's some new pictures, but it's
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: different pictures of hot young women and then the occasional
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: kitten or flowers or a beach. Again, she understands you're
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: a dude. There are other pleasant things to look at.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I guess I don't know what that is. Here's a kitten, Ah, good, great?
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  Speaker 1: Is it your kitten? Or are you giving me? Are
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  Speaker 1: you asking me for a kitten? I don't understand. Maybe
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  Speaker 1: it's a language burrier. Ah, that's funny. I liked you
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  Speaker 1: better when you were a foot shorter, dark hair yesterday.
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  Speaker 1: That really turned me on. The tall, skinny, live blonde
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  Speaker 1: is not. I don't know. Try to be short and
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  Speaker 1: dark haired more often. Since since you went and got
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: your hair lengthened, blonded, and your femurs extended, I'm not
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: as interested in you. Oh boy, I love lovest, my
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: beautiful precious rose.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: So did it go any further?
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  Speaker 1: No? I didn't responded, so I need to do that.
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  Speaker 2: Oh see, you're letting it die again.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I'm letting love die.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: You're letting love die.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Love has to be fed.
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  Speaker 2: She's moved on.
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  Speaker 1: She may have she found someone else. He's just not
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  Speaker 1: that into you, any of you. Yeah, why don't we
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: do the ticket thing tomorrow? It's interesting and long and okay,
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  Speaker 1: So you're thinking I will respond today? Then, so you're
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  Speaker 1: thinking a small ask like I'm trying to get together
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  Speaker 1: the money to fly to come see you. I just
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  Speaker 1: need two hundred more dollars. Yeah, okay, I'll do that.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Should I? So? Should I play any of the game?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Should I go with any of the love of my life? Oh?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, pet names.
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  Speaker 3: I've been thinking about you, and I've made the decision
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  Speaker 3: I would like to come see you.
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  Speaker 2: Problem is I need one hundred and fifty bucks.
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  Speaker 1: Give it one more round of not asking for money.
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  Speaker 1: Go ahead and communicate that this hook has been set.
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  Speaker 1: You think she's a real girl, you're into her. Let
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  Speaker 1: that play out for one more back and forth and
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  Speaker 1: then make the act. I will. Okay, Then as soon
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  Speaker 1: as we get done here, I will hit her with
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I missed you all weekend. I can't stop thinking about.
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  Speaker 2: You, beautiful.
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  Speaker 1: Of course that's how she reacted. Less them. If you
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  Speaker 1: can't stop thinking about me, why don't you ever write
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: me a letter. That's a good point.
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  Speaker 2: You're a busy man.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, yeah, I got a job. I got a job.
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  Speaker 1: You're busy for drinking or traub Jack Armstrong. My precious
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: time is right. You gotta love that. Well, I guess
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  Speaker 1: that's it.