Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 4 | #Mayogate

Transcript

4 | #Mayogate · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: D is anything grinding your gears this week, Eric?
• 0:05
  Eric: You know, I've I've been in a state of supreme but cautious chill since Tuesday, November 3rd.
• 0:16
  Matt: Oh, since Tuesday?
• 0:18
  Matt: My ch uh it was not chill Tuesday into Wednesday.
• 0:21
  Matt: Since like Friday.
• 0:23
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:24
  Eric: That was a nail-biting 72 hours.
• 0:29
  Matt: Well, it on Tuesday itself, it didn't look good.
• 0:33
  Eric: No.
• 0:34
  Eric: No, good God.
• 0:35
  Eric: Like people were people in the comments on like Reddit and stuff were jumping off buildings.
• 0:40
  Eric: It was like, ugh.
• 0:42
  Matt: I was really trying to like maintain this level of optimism.
• 0:46
  Matt: And it got tough in this house because both of us are inclined to be like, oh fuck, this is over.
• 0:56
  Matt: So it got tough.
• 1:07
  Matt: And I was like, what?
• 1:08
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:09
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:11
  Eric: It's actually symbolic as hail.
• 1:14
  Eric: One of my neighbors across the street.
• 1:16
  Eric: I don't even think there's someone who lives on my street, but they appear to visit that house a bunch.
• 1:23
  Eric: Giant beater ass truck.
• 1:27
  Eric: Two huge fucking Trump flags coming out the back.
• 1:32
  Matt: The worst.
• 1:33
  Eric: And normally they come down, and they when they whenever they pull in, it's like one of those trucks you can hear coming from like a mile away as they're rolling coal down the main road.
• 1:42
  Eric: Um but in a stroke of absolute poetic justice, that piece of shit truck has been broken down in its spot for like a week now.
• 1:55
  Eric: I've seen them coming out trying to like do stuff to it, trying to get it to start.
• 1:58
  Matt: It's just Spirit gave out.
• 2:00
  Eric: Oh god.
• 2:02
  Matt: You know, this is the first episode we both are drinking coffee.
• 2:05
  Eric: Mmm.
• 2:07
  Eric: Ooh, your mug is much fancier.
• 2:10
  Matt: I have it's a it's a Yeti tumbler.
• 2:14
  Matt: We we aren't endorsed by Yeti, but I will endorse them.
• 2:17
  Eric: Oh yeah, I'll I'll back that up.
• 2:19
  Eric: I have a Yeti water bottle.
• 2:21
  Eric: I've I know it's not the same company.
• 2:24
  Matt: Overly expensive, but you know what?
• 2:26
  Matt: You do get a quality product.
• 2:28
  Matt: Buy it for life.
• 2:29
  Matt: And they sell the Yeti coolers on the new supermarket sweep.
• 2:34
  Matt: And I don't know how everybody isn't going to those like$600 coolers.
• 2:39
  Matt: Have you been watching the new supermarket?
• 2:41
  Eric: I have not, but I've seen your ululations about.
• 2:47
  Matt: If there's one good thing that has come out of this quarantine, it is my discovery of supermarket sweets.
• 2:56
  Matt: We binged the original David Rubrik seasons.
• 3:03
  Matt: We including the weird first season when they made him wear these sweaters.
• 3:10
  Matt: He has these Cosby show-esque sweaters on.
• 3:15
  Matt: They're so terrible.
• 3:16
  Matt: And we're like, what wardrobe supervisor was like, this is the look.
• 3:20
  Eric: This is it.
• 3:21
  Matt: This is what we gotta go for.
• 3:23
  Matt: So anyway, I'm all about supermarket sweep.
• 3:26
  Matt: I need Leslie Jones.
• 3:29
  Matt: It's so good now.
• 3:30
  Matt: There's they they're introduced these like sub characters, like these small like employees of the store characters, which like in theory I think I like, but in practice, I'm like, ugh, get rid of these people.
• 3:45
  Eric: So so are these like okay.
• 3:47
  Eric: I'm now I have questions.
• 3:49
  Eric: Um so are these are these characters invented by the show?
• 3:55
  Eric: Oh, okay, they are.
• 3:57
  Matt: So I think they're using their real names, like it's the actors' names, but like they have a security guard who Leslie pulls in just to berate.
• 4:08
  Eric: Let me guess, he got big old belly.
• 4:11
  Matt: No, no, okay, not really, but anyway, they call Neil.
• 4:15
  Matt: She calls, she goes, Neil, what do I always say?
• 4:18
  Matt: And he has some stupid line, like, uh, don't play my own bluegrass in the store.
• 4:27
  Matt: And she's like, No, besides that.
• 4:30
  Matt: And he goes, if you're not playing, be quiet.
• 4:33
  Matt: The so they have that guy.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_06: Uh-huh.
• 4:36
  Matt: They have a couple of vendors.
• 4:39
  Matt: Uh, they have a barista.
• 4:42
  Matt: Like, you can get you can get somebody's coffee for an extra 250, I think it is, dollars, which is a which is a good thing, modernization of grinding the coffee in the original show.
• 4:54
  Matt: I tell you, I knew none of this six months ago.
• 4:58
  Matt: Uh but anyway, so the barista, she's like scatterbrained and she just is like delaying getting you the coffee.
• 5:07
  Matt: That's a fine character.
• 5:09
  Matt: But the one that's the weirdest is DC, the checkout guy.
• 5:17
  Matt: So he he he only ever has like one line and it's weirdly sexual.
• 5:25
  Matt: So Leslie Jones comes over.
• 5:27
  Matt: This was this was spoiler alert for this past episode.
• 5:31
  Matt: She she goes, like, DC, you're gonna get busy checking out everybody, and he goes, Oh, I love getting busy, baby.
• 5:40
  Matt: All right, all right, and okay, I'm just like, why?
• 5:48
  Matt: But it it but other than that, I really love the reboot.
• 5:51
  Matt: I can't believe this episode is gonna start with me promoting supermarket suite.
• 5:56
  Eric: And Yeti, please give us money, both of you.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: Money, please.
• 6:12
  Matt: Okay, here we go.
• 6:15
  Eric: So so now now, Matthew, I face I face an existential dilemma, as I often do on our program.
• 6:23
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 6:24
  Eric: So we we now we've we've transformed.
• 6:29
  Eric: We have we have grown and evolved.
• 6:32
  Matt: I think I know what you're gonna about to bring up.
• 6:35
  Eric: I'm I'm not mad.
• 6:38
  Matt: I I think I know what is uh gonna come out of your mouth.
• 6:42
  Eric: So what we used to call or may still call, I don't know, in this strange new evolution, this chrysalis we have emerged from.
• 6:51
  Matt: Should I introduce this show first?
• 6:53
  Matt: You really should.
• 6:55
  Matt: Okay.
• 6:55
  Matt: Welcome to the fourth episode of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 7:03
  Matt: My name's Matt Shane.
• 7:05
  Eric: My name is Eric Poach, I think.
• 7:08
  Matt: Now, Eric, please continue.
• 7:10
  Matt: We called it Quick Questions in the last Quick Questions, we did.
• 7:14
  Eric: See, that's how fast.
• 7:15
  Matt: So one of our listeners, and in some ways, architect of this podcast, Megan Stanton, came up with another good name, which uh I wanted to talk about anyway, which is um, well, you kinda asked for this.
• 7:36
  Matt: Damn it.
• 7:37
  Matt: And then I realized that, like, truly, we are asking people, but you know, percentage-wise, the you in the title didn't ask for this still applies to it's very true.
• 7:50
  Eric: And that I I mean, it on one hand, it is a testament to how brave our show is, like how forward-thinking we are, that our show is evolving faster than we can record it.
• 8:01
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 8:02
  Eric: Mavericks, some would call us.
• 8:04
  Matt: Yes, trailblazers.
• 8:07
  Eric: But I do I'd be remiss if I didn't bring the pack.
• 8:11
  Eric: So now our our segment, which you kinda didn't ask for this, formerly known as quick questions, knee quick hits.
• 8:20
  Matt: It didn't get married.
• 8:23
  Eric: That is now going to be actually like the format of our entire show.
• 8:26
  Eric: Like our show is just gonna be like we're just gonna talk through these.
• 8:30
  Matt: For the at the very least, this episode.
• 8:33
  Matt: This episode is going to be entirely quick questions.
• 8:39
  Eric: By next month, I plan to have an entire episode of questions that aren't even questions, they're statements.
• 8:45
  Matt: The they're just statements?
• 8:46
  Eric: Yes.
• 8:47
  Matt: A fact?
• 8:48
  Eric: So which means we no longer have in the traditional sense a main segment.
• 8:57
  Matt: It's true.
• 8:58
  Matt: But in in other ways, the quick questions has become main segment.
• 9:07
  Eric: Yeah.
• 9:08
  Eric: I don't know how many more times we're gonna get to say that because man, our show is so brave and so new.
• 9:13
  Matt: I don't Old Segment.
• 9:16
  Eric: See, I hate that.
• 9:19
  Eric: I hate it so much.
• 9:22
  Eric: But but for the good for for the good of our show, not being mired in the past, I will still use every opportunity possible to sing my main segment jingle.
• 9:34
  Matt: I think you should.
• 9:35
  Matt: But I will, but I have a can can I make a suggestion, please.
• 9:40
  Matt: Could you sing the intro to Quick Questions to the tune of the theme song from the main segment?
• 9:52
  Matt: Give it a shot, see how it feels.
• 9:54
  Matt: Okay, shake it out.
• 9:56
  Matt: Warm up if you have to.
• 9:57
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:57
  Eric: Hold on, I'm just gonna do some gratuitous actor warm-ups.
• 10:00
  Matt: Please.
• 10:11
  Matt: You know that's not how you do it.
• 10:13
  Eric: They don't know that.
• 10:16
  Eric: Um, okay, so here we go.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Quid questions.
• 10:22
  Matt: Yeah, mixed mixed reviews.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: Not really sure how I feel about it.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: Quid questions.
• 10:29
  Matt: Uh, so the questions we've picked from our listenership that they did, in fact, ask for.
• 10:36
  Matt: Uh we we we procured some Thanksgiving themed questions this time around.
• 10:41
  Matt: Isn't that exciting?
• 10:43
  Matt: And so we we will intersperse those with some non-Thanksgiving themed questions as well.
• 10:48
  Matt: And I think I think it's gonna be fun.
• 10:50
  Matt: I think it's gonna be good, good time.
• 10:52
  Matt: Oh, it's gonna be a hoop.
• 10:53
  Matt: It's what the people want.
• 10:54
  Matt: Um, Eric.
• 10:56
  Matt: Yes.
• 10:57
  Matt: Do we have any other announcements or updates?
• 10:59
  Matt: Of course, well, I should say, if you have any questions, which you should, again, backbone of the um the podcast, send them over to you didn't ask for this, gmail.com, or you didn't ask pod.
• 11:12
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram or Twitter.
• 11:17
  Matt: Again, no one really follows us on Twitter.
• 11:18
  Matt: We've got we're we're really hitting the ground running on Instagram, though.
• 11:22
  Matt: Whew! Eric.
• 11:23
  Matt: Yes, I got a quick question for you.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_05: Go on, man.
• 11:26
  Matt: Is your stuffing mostly bread or meat?
• 11:31
  Matt: And that comes from good friend of ours, Alex Keferak.
• 11:36
  Eric: Um, so I I have had one stuffing my entire fucking life.
• 11:42
  Matt: Uh-huh.
• 11:43
  Eric: And that has been Stoffer's stovetop stuffing.
• 11:47
  Matt: Oh, sure.
• 11:48
  Matt: Yeah, the classic.
• 11:49
  Eric: It wasn't until late high school that I think I ever ate stuffing that wasn't Stoffer's stovetop stuffing.
• 11:59
  Eric: And when I discovered what like actual stuffing was, I was disgusted.
• 12:05
  Matt: Sorry, I that was that was the sound of my heart being pierced.
• 12:10
  Eric: I have since learned to appreciate other stuffings, and I'm certain that there are delicious stuffing.
• 12:20
  Eric: But Matt, I it's like the elephant it's like the baby elephant in the rope.
• 12:25
  Eric: You know, they're talking about like little, little, you know, they tie up an elephant at the circus, a big, beautiful, gorgeous animal with a rope around its leg.
• 12:33
  Eric: And someone asks, hey, why doesn't the elephant just like break that rope and just walk wherever it wants?
• 12:39
  Eric: And they explain, they're like, oh, when the elephant is a baby, it's not strong enough to break the rope.
• 12:46
  Eric: And so it goes its whole life thinking that it's never strong enough to break the rope.
• 12:52
  Matt: Why would you make me so sad at the top of this podcast?
• 12:56
  Eric: Because I want you to understand my unhealthy relationship with stuffing.
• 13:00
  Matt: I and I I I have a depression now.
• 13:04
  Eric: You have you have and depression.
• 13:06
  Matt: Well, I had it before, but it's activated.
• 13:09
  Eric: But now I'm looking at it.
• 13:10
  Matt: Now it's staring me in the face.
• 13:13
  Matt: You and your elephant rope.
• 13:15
  Eric: Yep.
• 13:15
  Eric: So that's that's me and stover stovetop stuffing.
• 13:18
  Eric: I never knew different, so like that is the only stuffing for me.
• 13:22
  Matt: Can I jump in on the stovers?
• 13:24
  Matt: Please.
• 13:25
  Eric: Please.
• 13:27
  Matt: We would have occasionally stover stovetop stuffing as like a side dish to just a regular dinner from time to time.
• 13:36
  Matt: Oh, yeah, same.
• 13:37
  Matt: Right.
• 13:38
  Matt: Like a like a chicken or a turkey.
• 13:40
  Matt: Some some probably a poultry-based meal throughout the year.
• 13:45
  Matt: But that stuffing was not the stuffing that was the main attraction on Thanksgiving.
• 13:51
  Matt: That was a a true Thanksgiving stuffing.
• 13:54
  Matt: And to be honest, I think it was an even split of bread and meat, if I'm being honest.
• 14:01
  Eric: What meat?
• 14:02
  Matt: Oh, I don't know.
• 14:03
  Eric: Because I know like some people, some people get wild with it.
• 14:06
  Eric: Like, there's like oyster in their stuffing.
• 14:08
  Matt: No, there wasn't any goddamn fish in there.
• 14:10
  Matt: I'll tell you that.
• 14:11
  Eric: That that blows my Matt.
• 14:12
  Eric: Also, like I I cannot.
• 14:14
  Matt: Wait, I'm sorry.
• 14:15
  Matt: Who is putting oyster in the guts of a turkey?
• 14:19
  Eric: Which leads me directly to my next point.
• 14:21
  Eric: Just to put in perspective how like fucking dialed into stove for stovetop stuffing I was.
• 14:27
  Eric: It never fucking occurred to me that the stuffing goes inside the bird.
• 14:35
  Eric: Our shit was cooked in a pot.
• 14:37
  Eric: Well, the first time I was like, oh yeah, we dressed with a stuff.
• 14:40
  Eric: Like I saw people stuff, but you gotta be fucking with me.
• 14:42
  Matt: Sure.
• 14:43
  Matt: And you never questioned why it was called stuffing.
• 14:47
  Eric: Not for a single second.
• 14:50
  Eric: And that fucks with me to this day.
• 14:53
  Matt: So we would always have it.
• 14:56
  Matt: So I want to make it very clear.
• 14:59
  Matt: I am passionate about the stuffing as a Thanksgiving staple.
• 15:04
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 15:05
  Eric: Oh yes.
• 15:06
  Matt: Recently, I there was a Thanksgiving in recent memory.
• 15:11
  Matt: That's all I'm gonna say.
• 15:13
  Matt: Which did not feature stuffing.
• 15:15
  Matt: And that's fine.
• 15:16
  Matt: You know, I didn't, you know, whoever prepared it, you know, was very gracious to be preparing a meal.
• 15:22
  Matt: I didn't prepare the meal, but what I wasn't prepared for was for the the rage that erupted inside of my very soul when I learned after bowl and platter and and this and that came came out to the table, and none of them were stuffing.
• 15:45
  Matt: It's it set in that the stuffing wasn't coming and that I was alone.
• 15:51
  Eric: I've been in that situation, and like you get that feeling of like at first, you get that twinge of like there's no stuffing, and then I'm this upset because and then you're upset at yourself for being upset about it.
• 16:05
  Matt: Nope, didn't get to that part.
• 16:07
  Matt: I was justified.
• 16:11
  Matt: No, I I I I did not berate myself of all the things I berate myself for, Eric.
• 16:17
  Matt: This was not one of them.
• 16:18
  Matt: This was not one of them.
• 16:19
  Matt: But uh in fact, in fact, I will compliment myself for having not said anything.
• 16:27
  Eric: I can I can see the look on your face.
• 16:30
  Matt: I was a great I don't know why I I shouldn't feel like I'm being interrogated on this podcast right now.
• 16:36
  Matt: I was a gracious guest, I didn't say a word, but inside I was a like a like a withering tree.
• 16:47
  Matt: Like a like a like you know, you know how like in science class you'd watch a a video at the beginning of like a Bill Nye segment of a flower decaying in in fast motion.
• 17:01
  Matt: That was me.
• 17:06
  Matt: Despite that, I said nothing.
• 17:08
  Matt: I didn't I didn't I didn't fly into a rage or burn the house down, did I?
• 17:14
  Matt: And for that I should be celebrated.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_03: Get this man an office.
• 17:23
  Matt: Oh shit.
• 17:25
  Matt: Again, I uh because I was very appreciative of the meal.
• 17:30
  Matt: It was very good, otherwise, actually.
• 17:32
  Eric: Otherwise.
• 17:35
  Matt: Otherwise.
• 17:36
  Eric: Otherwise.
• 17:37
  Matt: Stuffing with standing.
• 17:41
  Eric: Yeah.
• 17:41
  Eric: I I can't even I can't even act like I I I wouldn't be super bummed.
• 17:47
  Eric: I I get super bummed if I'm eating a Thanksgiving.
• 17:50
  Eric: And like irrationally just upset and ashamed.
• 17:55
  Eric: I I I get ashamed.
• 17:57
  Matt: But I know we're sort of riffing on the from the original prompt, but let me ask you this.
• 18:02
  Matt: Yeah.
• 18:03
  Matt: What is your Thanksgiving plate lineup?
• 18:07
  Matt: What is and I'm and when I say lineup, I mean what is plate one look like?
• 18:12
  Matt: Yeah.
• 18:12
  Matt: What does plate two look like?
• 18:14
  Matt: What does subsequent plates look like?
• 18:16
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:17
  Eric: So P1.
• 18:19
  Matt: P1.
• 18:19
  Eric: Quarter one of Thanksgiving.
• 18:21
  Eric: My plate, huge, just obscene dollops of the following sides.
• 18:28
  Eric: Okay.
• 18:29
  Eric: Mashed potatoes.
• 18:31
  Eric: Bam.
• 18:32
  Eric: Green beans.
• 18:33
  Eric: Gotta have it.
• 18:33
  Eric: My mom's sweet potato casserole.
• 18:37
  Matt: Personal.
• 18:38
  Matt: Love the touch.
• 18:39
  Eric: Oh.
• 18:40
  Eric: Candied pecans in it.
• 18:41
  Eric: It's it's we don't even it's so good, like we don't even fuck with marshmallows.
• 18:47
  Eric: We don't need them.
• 18:48
  Eric: Matt, I will I will try eating it.
• 18:51
  Eric: It's the side, it is my peak Thanksgiving side.
• 18:54
  Matt: That's good.
• 18:55
  Eric: I will be upset if stuffing is not present.
• 18:57
  Eric: I will be devastated beyond reckoning.
• 19:02
  Eric: Without the mom's sweet potato casserole.
• 19:04
  Eric: It is the best thing on earth.
• 19:06
  Eric: So then, so I've got the green beans, I've got the mashed potatoes, I got the sweet potatoes, I got the stuffing.
• 19:12
  Eric: Usually just a normal, like plain ass bread roll.
• 19:16
  Eric: Some uh like a like a dab of butter.
• 19:19
  Eric: Dabba butter.
• 19:22
  Eric: Uh cranberry sauce, side tangent.
• 19:26
  Eric: What's your preferred cranberry sauce uh configuration?
• 19:30
  Eric: The discs or the chunks?
• 19:33
  Matt: It being in the trash.
• 19:34
  Matt: Uh okay, okay.
• 19:36
  Matt: Now, now hold on.
• 19:38
  Matt: Okay.
• 19:38
  Matt: I say that slightly jokingly because I don't personally care for cranberry sauce.
• 19:44
  Matt: However, if it were not present, I'd feel weird.
• 19:49
  Eric: Okay, that's fair.
• 19:50
  Matt: And I usually get I usually get a a selection of it on P1 because it feels obligatory.
• 19:58
  Matt: And it feels as though it's been a 31-year struggle of me trying cranberry sauce, thinking this is the year.
• 20:05
  Eric: Is it the candy corn of sides?
• 20:07
  Matt: No, I like candy corn, and I'll go to bat.
• 20:09
  Matt: And okay, good.
• 20:11
  Matt: I I thought we were gonna have to have it out about it.
• 20:16
  Eric: I know, I know the teens like memeing about how bad candy corn is, but I fucking love candy corn.
• 20:22
  Matt: Yeah, it's fun to meme about candy corn, don't get me wrong, but come on, you know you eat that shit.
• 20:28
  Eric: Yeah.
• 20:29
  Eric: So, all that being said, I've got my my array of sides.
• 20:32
  Eric: The sides are really all I care about at Thanksgiving.
• 20:35
  Eric: The turkey is cherry on top.
• 20:37
  Eric: My dad makes bitchin turkey.
• 20:40
  Eric: He makes deep fried turkey.
• 20:42
  Eric: Which have you ever had it?
• 20:45
  Matt: I I have, and it has quite the story behind it, but that would be a whole other podcast.
• 20:53
  Matt: It is good.
• 20:53
  Matt: The deep fried turkey is good.
• 20:54
  Eric: We'll put a pin in that one.
• 20:56
  Eric: We'll put a pin in that for another atop my mountain of scythe.
• 21:04
  Eric: So atop my my my mountain range of scythe, I slam a turkey leg on top of that.
• 21:12
  Eric: I'm a fool for a turkey leg at Thanksgiving.
• 21:15
  Eric: And I destroy that.
• 21:17
  Eric: What so that's my P1.
• 21:19
  Eric: What's your P1?
• 21:20
  Matt: Uh my P1 involves I I would say the first thing I add is the selection of turkey.
• 21:28
  Eric: And the Oh, so you entomb it within the sides.
• 21:32
  Matt: Yes.
• 21:33
  Matt: Okay.
• 21:33
  Matt: Well, I like to know, yeah, you start with the biggest portion.
• 21:37
  Matt: Um, I like a couple slices of like the white meat, but in r I I have felt, I don't know if you have a different opinion, but as I grew, the turkey legs were originally reserved for my father and grandfather.
• 21:56
  Eric: Same same deal, yeah.
• 21:58
  Eric: Dad, yeah.
• 21:59
  Matt: They got The two legs.
• 22:02
  Matt: And there came a point where my grandfather was no longer with us.
• 22:07
  Matt: So he no longer got the turkey leg, and my brother was getting the turkey leg.
• 22:12
  Matt: But he sort of like fell out of wanting the turkey leg.
• 22:17
  Matt: And somewhere along the line, I became the second turkey leg person.
• 22:23
  Eric: They passed the blade to you.
• 22:25
  Matt: It truly feels like a status elevation.
• 22:31
  Matt: So even in other, like, and my dad actually now doesn't always like the turkey leg anymore.
• 22:38
  Matt: But we were like, we were at a Thanksgiving with uh another family that made it, and like my dad didn't get the turkey leg, and the other dad involved didn't get the turkey leg.
• 22:50
  Matt: And my brother didn't want it, but I and I know this because I was like, no, Matt, you do not have the right of turkey leg in this house.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_06: You do not have the rightful claim.
• 23:03
  Matt: You are not the rightful heir to this turkey leg.
• 23:08
  Matt: So anyway, all of that to say, I get a little smirk on my face when I get that turkey leg.
• 23:13
  Eric: Oh man.
• 23:14
  Eric: Yeah.
• 23:14
  Matt: But I like to put it on top of I like to put it on top of one like thinner slice of white meat.
• 23:22
  Matt: So I have them, so I have them both.
• 23:24
  Eric: Yeah.
• 23:25
  Matt: I put a heaping pile of stuffing on that plate.
• 23:32
  Matt: And then whatever sides we got room for.
• 23:34
  Matt: You know, gotta get some got to get something green.
• 23:38
  Matt: The green beans gotta appear.
• 23:40
  Matt: Uh the potatoes, obviously.
• 23:42
  Matt: Mashed potatoes gotta get on there.
• 23:43
  Matt: I'd say that the the P1 sides are heavily dominated by stuffing and potatoes.
• 23:50
  Matt: And P2 is like, if there's any turkey involved in P2, there's like a couple of chunks of like white meat, like small turkey selection, followed by more stuffing and more of whatever else I have room for.
• 24:10
  Matt: And I don't think there's a P3 for me.
• 24:12
  Matt: What about you?
• 24:13
  Matt: So Well, there's a dessert plate.
• 24:15
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 24:16
  Matt: That's a whole other thing.
• 24:18
  Eric: Um P2.
• 24:20
  Matt: P2.
• 24:21
  Eric: P2, assuming we're still on the meat train.
• 24:25
  Eric: We'll assume we are.
• 24:26
  Eric: P2 is where I move to from the leg to the wing if one if one is still in play.
• 24:33
  Eric: If there's a wing in play, I will grab a wing, but they get super crispy and awesome.
• 24:37
  Matt: I do like a wing.
• 24:38
  Eric: I re-up on everything except for cranberry sauce and green beans at this point.
• 24:46
  Eric: This is where I've gone full glutton.
• 24:49
  Eric: I'm just in consume mode.
• 24:51
  Matt: Yes.
• 24:51
  Eric: P3.
• 24:53
  Eric: If I have the will.
• 24:55
  Matt: If you have the stamina.
• 24:56
  Eric: If I have the stamina.
• 24:59
  Matt: If the tryptopan has not taken over your veins.
• 25:03
  Eric: If I can face my demons, I will grab two slices of bread, I will toast them, and I will build a turkey sandwich.
• 25:13
  Matt: You will w you will hold on.
• 25:16
  Matt: I was thinking you were gonna say, like, oh, I'd have one more scoop of this or whatever.
• 25:21
  Matt: You're introducing a whole sandwich as P3?
• 25:25
  Eric: Correct.
• 25:26
  Eric: And that sandwich, Matthew, which a grim reflection of the sandwich I will make the following morning with leftovers, will be slices of turkey, stuffing, sweet potato casserole.
• 25:39
  Eric: I'll throw some fucking green beans in there.
• 25:41
  Eric: I don't give a fuck.
• 25:42
  Eric: Mayonnaise on the bread, gravy poured over the whole thing.
• 25:46
  Eric: I will, it meant it'll look wow.
• 25:49
  Matt: It'll I can imagine it.
• 25:50
  Matt: Yeah.
• 25:51
  Matt: I'm seeing it.
• 25:51
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:52
  Matt: Let me ask you this.
• 25:53
  Matt: The so I think I am of the opinion that the leftovers of Thanksgiving is is a traditional onto itself.
• 26:02
  Eric: Oh, it's a second holiday.
• 26:03
  Matt: But I have never thought to make like a combo sandwich.
• 26:08
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 26:09
  Matt: That's I'm gonna try it.
• 26:11
  Matt: But let me tell you, let me let me tell you this.
• 26:13
  Matt: Your mayonnaise, and I know we're gonna get mail about this.
• 26:18
  Matt: The I think one of the simplest joys in this world related to Thanksgiving.
• 26:26
  Matt: I think one of the simplest joys in this world is taking cold turkey and dipping it in mayonnaise.
• 26:35
  Matt: So cold, I said.
• 26:37
  Matt: I said cold.
• 26:39
  Eric: Twitter hashtag will be hashtag mayo gate.
• 26:42
  Eric: Um y'all want to get at us on that?
• 26:44
  Eric: Uh start loading up those servers now.
• 26:46
  Matt: We'll do a whole episode on mayo-related questions.
• 26:49
  Eric: Oh yes.
• 26:50
  Eric: Oh, now we have to.
• 26:51
  Eric: Now that that demands an episode.
• 26:56
  Eric: Uh God.
• 27:00
  Eric: I I I'm I I've realized dipping coal leftover turkey into mayonnaise is occupies that same part of my brain that when I was in high school, I dated a girl who buttered her Pop-Tarts.
• 27:20
  Matt: Uh which I have not.
• 27:22
  Eric: Yeah, I I have not either.
• 27:23
  Eric: And I was not disgusted by it.
• 27:26
  Eric: I was just, I was it cold turkey and mayonnaise?
• 27:33
  Matt: Yeah, it's it's pure and it's delicious.
• 27:36
  Eric: Okay.
• 27:36
  Matt: I want to point out that I think we are well removed from the question.
• 27:40
  Eric: Oh, absolutely.
• 27:41
  Matt: Mostly bread.
• 27:42
  Matt: Um, I would say mostly bread.
• 27:45
  Matt: Mostly bread.
• 27:45
  Matt: The stovetop is only bread, uh, right?
• 27:48
  Eric: Yeah, it's it's pure, it's pure bread.
• 27:50
  Eric: It's turkey flavored or it's chicken flavored.
• 27:52
  Matt: Sure, of course it is.
• 27:53
  Matt: It should be, and so it should be.
• 27:55
  Eric: Yeah.
• 27:55
  Eric: Um, if you do I want to I want to hear more from the meat side.
• 28:00
  Eric: Um, so if y'all, if y'all get down with meat in your stuffing, especially specifically, if you put oyster in your stuffing, get at me.
• 28:09
  Eric: Let me know what that's about.
• 28:10
  Eric: Let me know about your life.
• 28:11
  Matt: Yeah, I also have questions about your life decisions.
• 28:14
  Matt: That's what you want to do.
• 28:14
  Eric: We can bring you on the show.
• 28:15
  Eric: We'll interview you.
• 28:17
  Matt: Yes.
• 28:18
  Eric: I'll make I can make that promise.
• 28:20
  Matt: Listen, we've had some people request guest ship, but we'll jump the line for you, oyster stuffing person.
• 28:26
  Eric: All right.
• 28:26
  Eric: Uh good.
• 28:28
  Eric: So, Matt, I got a quick question for you.
• 28:31
  Matt: Oh, yeah, sure.
• 28:32
  Matt: Go ahead.
• 28:33
  Eric: Is coffee cake a cake or a muffin?
• 28:37
  Eric: And that's from Carissa Hatfield.
• 28:40
  Matt: Uh wow.
• 28:41
  Matt: First of all, I want to say great question.
• 28:43
  Matt: Beautiful question.
• 28:44
  Matt: I'm very passionate also about uh coffee cake.
• 28:48
  Matt: Um I I think it comes down to shake.
• 28:54
  Matt: I think it comes down to shake.
• 28:56
  Matt: That's exactly what I was gonna say.
• 28:58
  Matt: Because you can have a coffee cake-shaped muffin and it is a muffin.
• 29:02
  Matt: Yes.
• 29:02
  Matt: If it has a muffin top, it's a muffin.
• 29:06
  Eric: It's a muffin.
• 29:07
  Eric: It's a muffin.
• 29:08
  Eric: I would I would make I think I'll make the somewhat bold claim.
• 29:12
  Eric: I don't think coff actually.
• 29:15
  Eric: No, here we go.
• 29:16
  Eric: I don't think coffee cake is a muffin.
• 29:18
  Eric: I think there are coffee cake flavored muffins.
• 29:22
  Matt: Hmm.
• 29:23
  Matt: Okay, all right.
• 29:24
  Matt: I'll go down this path with you.
• 29:26
  Eric: Yeah, cuz for me, coffee cake, it has a it has a consistency that I just don't think jives with muffin too well.
• 29:34
  Eric: There's a density to muffin, whereas coffee cake is like supposed to be like crumbly.
• 29:41
  Eric: Yes.
• 29:41
  Eric: And that does not lend itself to something you have to peel like the muffin coffin out off of it.
• 29:49
  Matt: What I think is possible is you can get a, in quotes, coffee cake muffin if you are using a coffee cake such as the one that comes out of a plastic sleeve at Starbucks.
• 30:05
  Matt: The Starbucks coffee cake, which I love, is muffinable.
• 30:10
  Eric: However, I love that word.
• 30:12
  Matt: What I would think, and people can attack me if they want, but what I feel is the king of the mass-produced coffee cakes.
• 30:23
  Matt: The Entamans coffee cake.
• 30:25
  Eric: Yes, the coffee, the donut sticks.
• 30:28
  Matt: Or or the the donut sticks are like a whole other thing.
• 30:31
  Eric: Oh, right, right, right, right.
• 30:32
  Eric: Yeah, no, but we are weird white.
• 30:38
  Matt: It looks like a, if you were to zoom in on it, it looks like a mountain range.
• 30:42
  Eric: Yeah, it's got like those weird, they're not crumbles, they're like pellets.
• 30:46
  Matt: They're like little pellets.
• 30:48
  Matt: Oh no, no, no.
• 30:48
  Matt: Those those are on the Entamans donuts.
• 30:51
  Matt: Man, I am gonna be promoting the hell out of so many products that aren't paying us.
• 30:57
  Eric: All I know is I fucking agree with you because I've been I've been smashing on donut sticks and entemans coffee cakes until, again, in the Stofu reverse, that's all I knew.
• 31:08
  Eric: Like growing up, that's all we we just had the Entamans versions of these things.
• 31:13
  Matt: And I'll say this in also in the mass-produced area, it's not mass-produced, but it is branded.
• 31:20
  Matt: The Wegman's coffee cake is a is essentially a Wegman, you know, made in Wegman bakery version of the Entamans coffee cake.
• 31:32
  Matt: It looks exactly the same, but it is better.
• 31:35
  Matt: It is better.
• 31:36
  Matt: I will give that to Wegman.
• 31:37
  Matt: Okay.
• 31:38
  Matt: So I think it comes down to shape, but you look at the Entman's coffee cake.
• 31:42
  Matt: You can't put that in the muff in a muffin shape.
• 31:45
  Matt: No.
• 31:46
  Eric: What part of that?
• 31:47
  Eric: I already need like a plate and five napkins to act as like a tarp when I eat normal coffee cake.
• 31:54
  Eric: The concept of bringing that, introducing that to a muffin, a food that demands to be eaten on the go.
• 32:04
  Eric: Or like casually, that makes me nauseous.
• 32:09
  Eric: That upsets me greatly.
• 32:11
  Matt: Yeah, no one, I mean, I guess people do, and people are gonna at me about this, maybe, but like no one's ordering a muffin at a table to sit down with a fork and eat.
• 32:23
  Eric: They're not ordering, they're not eating a muffin unless it's already there.
• 32:28
  Matt: You know what I mean?
• 32:28
  Matt: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 32:29
  Matt: If you sit down at a table and there's like a a bowl of smaller muffins, sure, get one of them muffins.
• 32:36
  Matt: But like, no one is looking at the menu, seeing a bunch of options, and going, yeah, I'll take the muffin.
• 32:42
  Matt: No one's doing that.
• 32:43
  Matt: No, I don't think.
• 32:45
  Matt: Are they?
• 32:46
  Eric: If you do, get at us on Instagram, uh, hashtag muffin gate.
• 32:50
  Eric: We'll bring you on the show.
• 32:51
  Eric: How many gates are we gonna do?
• 32:52
  Eric: Like a round robin interview with you and oyster person.
• 32:56
  Matt: Yeah, we'll get oyster, and especially if you're the same person.
• 32:59
  Eric: Oh, fuck me up.
• 33:01
  Eric: I can only imagine that they're the same person.
• 33:04
  Eric: They have to be the same person.
• 33:06
  Matt: I hope they are for the sake of our interviews.
• 33:09
  Eric: Yes.
• 33:10
  Eric: So I I am I'm very I'm very on the the I don't think coffee cake is a muffin.
• 33:16
  Eric: I think there are coffee cake flavored muffins that have like the tastes and some elements of a coffee cake.
• 33:23
  Matt: Yeah, like coffee cake inspired muffins.
• 33:25
  Eric: Yeah.
• 33:26
  Eric: A deconstructed, reconstructed coffee cake in the shape of a muffin.
• 33:31
  Matt: Yes, I agree.
• 33:32
  Matt: And frankly, what else would it be except a cake?
• 33:37
  Eric: Yeah.
• 33:38
  Eric: And this I mean, this begs this begs the the cheesecake, cake, or pie question.
• 33:47
  Matt: That's a question?
• 33:48
  Matt: Oh, you Matt.
• 33:50
  Matt: There are you mean to tell me there are people on this planet Earth that believe cheesecake.
• 33:58
  Matt: Sorry, let me just make sure that got picked up.
• 34:01
  Matt: Cheesecake is a pie.
• 34:05
  Eric: Oh, Matt, we're gonna have words.
• 34:08
  Eric: You are one of these people?
• 34:10
  Eric: Matthew.
• 34:11
  Eric: Matthew.
• 34:12
  Matt: This is we we really tangented the first question.
• 34:17
  Eric: Let's really just unpack this real quick.
• 34:20
  Eric: So, Matt, first off, before we even get into this, you were sitting your happy ass down to make a cheesecake.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 34:28
  Eric: So what is the first thing you need in order to build this cheesecake?
• 34:36
  Eric: What's the first thing that before anything else can get, you know, introduced into the mix?
• 34:46
  Eric: What foundation upon which you rest your cheesecake kingdom do you require?
• 34:53
  Matt: You mean to tell me your definition of a pie comes down to the crust?
• 35:00
  Matt: Crust and filling?
• 35:02
  Matt: Yes, Matt.
• 35:03
  Matt: It's not filling, though.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_02: So what's it doing in the crust, Matt?
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_02: Stopping by for a visit?
• 35:13
  Matt: Okay, if you surround.
• 35:17
  Matt: Go on.
• 35:18
  Eric: I'm listening.
• 35:19
  Matt: Okay, let me ask you this.
• 35:21
  Eric: Yes.
• 35:22
  Eric: Let's go down this fucking hole.
• 35:24
  Matt: Would you say that a pizza is defined by the presence of crust?
• 35:32
  Matt: Matthew.
• 35:33
  Matt: It is a part.
• 35:34
  Matt: It is a part.
• 35:35
  Matt: It is a component of pizza.
• 35:38
  Eric: Mateo.
• 35:39
  Matt: If you just had the crust, if I handed you a crust-only pizza from Pizza Hud, then that is bread.
• 35:48
  Matt: That is a discus of bread.
• 35:51
  Eric: Now we're getting into how like pie pie definition vis-a-vis and other things.
• 36:00
  Eric: So a pizza, flat ass bread.
• 36:05
  Eric: Unless you're in Chicago, we're not even going there.
• 36:09
  Matt: Where there are no laws.
• 36:11
  Matt: No pizza laws in Chi town.
• 36:14
  Matt: I don't think anyone calls it that in real life.
• 36:15
  Matt: Anyway.
• 36:16
  Matt: Shy say.
• 36:18
  Eric: Flat bread upon which sauce, cheese, toppings are placed.
• 36:26
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 36:27
  Eric: Are they are laid as if at an altar to some unseen god.
• 36:34
  Eric: Pie.
• 36:36
  Eric: The crust is a valley.
• 36:39
  Eric: It is a basin in which the filling is poured and laid.
• 36:48
  Eric: And then and forged into a pie.
• 36:53
  Matt: So let me ask you this.
• 36:54
  Matt: Okay.
• 36:54
  Eric: Okay?
• 36:55
  Eric: Okay.
• 36:56
  Matt: You have a cake.
• 36:57
  Eric: Yes.
• 36:57
  Matt: You got a perfectly fine cake.
• 36:59
  unknown: Alright.
• 37:00
  Matt: If you surround that cake with a nice decorative convention called Marzipan for our great British bake show, friends, you put mar marzipan around your cake.
• 37:12
  Matt: Is that not a crust-like container that you're putting around your cake?
• 37:18
  Matt: Does that then become an upside-down pie?
• 37:21
  Matt: Does alright, alright.
• 37:24
  Matt: Fuck.
• 37:25
  Matt: Uh-huh.
• 37:25
  Matt: Uh-huh.
• 37:26
  Matt: Watch him falter.
• 37:27
  Eric: Marzipan.
• 37:29
  Eric: If I take a fork, if I take a goddamn fork, Matt, and I stab a crust?
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 37:38
  Eric: Like a pie crust.
• 37:40
  Eric: Like a pie crust.
• 37:42
  Eric: I understand if I'm a pie crust.
• 37:44
  Eric: If you stab a pie crust, what in the teachings of Paul Hollywood, Mary Berry, would happen if I am stabbing a crust with a utensil?
• 37:55
  Matt: I suppose it would flake and crack.
• 37:59
  Eric: Now, Matthew, what happens if I take that selfsame fork and stab Marzipan?
• 38:06
  Matt: It would go straight through it.
• 38:07
  Eric: But let me go straight through it, because only bad.
• 38:12
  Matt: Okay, but but you're what you're discounting is that the crusts are not the same for a pie and a cheesecake.
• 38:20
  Matt: If you're looking at your general cheesecake, what is the main component of that crust?
• 38:26
  Eric: Well, that'll vary, but usually some kind of graham cracker.
• 38:31
  Matt: Some type of graham cracker is the base cheesecake crust.
• 38:36
  Matt: Last I checked, graham crackers, as one who bakes.
• 38:41
  Matt: Last I checked, graham crackers were not part of a fucking apple pie crust.
• 38:47
  Eric: Alright, Matt.
• 38:48
  Eric: Alright, Matt.
• 38:49
  Eric: Matt, alright.
• 38:50
  Eric: So let's talk about crust ingredients.
• 38:52
  Eric: I'm making a fucking crust.
• 38:54
  Eric: Lemons.
• 38:54
  Eric: I'm making a fucking crust.
• 38:57
  Eric: I got flour.
• 38:59
  Eric: I got egg, I think.
• 39:03
  Eric: Maybe some salt.
• 39:05
  Matt: Some.
• 39:06
  Matt: I think you better have some salt.
• 39:07
  Matt: Some water, some liquid.
• 39:09
  Matt: What are you making now?
• 39:10
  Matt: Some water, some liquid.
• 39:12
  Matt: What are you throwing in there?
• 39:13
  Eric: Am I my crust?
• 39:14
  Eric: You gotta get some liquid?
• 39:16
  Eric: Well, you just make your fucking crust out of dry ass flour?
• 39:18
  Matt: No, let me tell you, first of all, let me tell you, the last crust I made.
• 39:22
  Matt: Tell me how you make the crust.
• 39:23
  Matt: The last crust I made for a cheesecake was an Oreo-based crust that involved an entire packet of Oreos just for the crust.
• 39:33
  Matt: It was it was actually, if I remember correctly, it was sugar, sugar, Oreos, and butter.
• 39:40
  Matt: Was the crust that I made for the cheesecake.
• 39:42
  Matt: Now, okay, for the cheesecake.
• 39:44
  Matt: For the for my white chocolate Oreo crust cheesecake.
• 39:48
  Matt: It's fucking delicious, listeners.
• 39:50
  Matt: Let me tell you.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I'm gonna be real right now.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_05: That sounds like super fucking delicious.
• 39:53
  Matt: I'm gonna tell you this right now, Eric, from me to you.
• 39:56
  Matt: It's a godsend.
• 39:57
  unknown: God.
• 39:58
  Eric: So now if you were making a pie crust, have you ever just made a straight-up pie crust?
• 40:03
  Matt: Uh I have made a pie crust, but I yes, I've made a pie crust.
• 40:08
  Eric: I'm gonna name crust ingredients.
• 40:10
  Eric: You tell me the second this sounds like something that shouldn't go in crust.
• 40:14
  Eric: Flour, sugar, good to go.
• 40:16
  Eric: Salt, uh, shortening.
• 40:19
  Matt: Okay.
• 40:19
  Eric: Alright.
• 40:20
  Eric: Hey Matt, I just listed off graham cracker ingredients.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 40:25
  Eric: Graham cracker crust is just crust made out of crust.
• 40:31
  Matt: Okay.
• 40:32
  Matt: I will admit that you have pres you've you've painted me into a corner.
• 40:38
  Matt: I will admit.
• 40:39
  Matt: I will admit.
• 40:41
  Matt: I don't like it.
• 40:42
  Matt: But I will admit it.
• 40:44
  Eric: Do you want some humble pie?
• 40:46
  Eric: Passes you a cheesecake.
• 40:47
  Matt: No, because that is a cheesecake.
• 40:51
  Matt: I don't think the crust defines the cheesecake.
• 40:56
  Matt: And I think the cheesecake fucking factory would agree with me.
• 41:00
  Eric: Well, okay.
• 41:02
  unknown: What?
• 41:03
  Eric: Hmm.
• 41:04
  Eric: So if you work for the cheesecake factory.
• 41:07
  Matt: Quick plug quick plug for the cheesecake factory, too.
• 41:13
  Matt: Hashtag cheesecake.
• 41:15
  Matt: No one's gonna sponsor us.
• 41:16
  Matt: We're just giving out free publicity.
• 41:19
  Eric: Ugh.
• 41:19
  Eric: I think that's one.
• 41:21
  Eric: I I will say that's why I didn't I didn't want to bring that up.
• 41:23
  Eric: That's why I was so hesitant to bring this up because this is such a can of worms.
• 41:27
  Eric: I I would be willing to bow to the authority of a cheesecake factory employee.
• 41:32
  Eric: Doesn't even need to be like a fucking VP of the company.
• 41:36
  Eric: I need like get me an on-the-ground employee, someone who is slinging these cheesecake in these cheesecakes in the dark.
• 41:45
  Matt: Yes, I think, and you know what?
• 41:47
  Matt: Anyone who works in a baking capacity, you also are a valued listener.
• 41:53
  Matt: Yeah.
• 41:54
  Matt: Give us your opinions on this.
• 41:56
  Matt: Because quite frankly, we went way far away from the question, which I might remind you, is coffee cake a cake or muffin?
• 42:04
  Eric: Uh, but yeah, coffee cake is a coffee cake is a cake.
• 42:08
  Eric: It is definitely a cake.
• 42:09
  Eric: It can be it can be a flavor of muffin.
• 42:12
  Eric: It is not.
• 42:12
  Matt: It is absolutely thank you, uh Carissa, for the question.
• 42:17
  Matt: Okay, Eric, I got a quick question for you.
• 42:19
  Eric: Yeah, go on, man.
• 42:20
  Matt: Uh, this one comes from my wife, Simply Lindsay, on Instagram.
• 42:26
  Matt: What do the other turkeys say about the pardoned turkey?
• 42:37
  Eric: We have fun.
• 42:38
  Matt: We have fun on this podcast, don't we, with turkey noises?
• 42:42
  Eric: Yep.
• 42:43
  Eric: Uh cheesecake, turkey noises, mayonnaise.
• 42:47
  Eric: So, what do the other turkeys say about the pardoned turkey?
• 42:50
  Eric: Do you think they talk shit?
• 42:53
  Matt: It does say, the question does stipulate what did this say about the pardoned turkey?
• 42:58
  Eric: Yeah, so which suggests a level of cattiness.
• 43:02
  Eric: Cattiness, chatty catty turkeys.
• 43:06
  Matt: This is a difficult question because people I think have have strong opinions about the presidential pardoning of turkeys.
• 43:14
  Matt: I know there are people out here who think it's a waste of time and all this stuff, and obviously the people who don't think turkeys should be consumed have some strong opinions about it as well.
• 43:26
  Eric: Which is fair.
• 43:27
  Matt: I, however, enjoy the presidential pardoning of a turkey.
• 43:31
  Matt: I think it is a fun little tradition.
• 43:34
  Matt: It brings some levity to what is normally, not so much the last four years, but normally a very professional office.
• 43:45
  Matt: A very highly regarded person having a little fun.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_03: Did did Trump part in any turkeys?
• 43:52
  Matt: I think he pardoned turkeys like the first two years, and then he like hated doing it, so he didn't do it.
• 43:56
  Eric: What was he look- what was he worried about?
• 43:58
  Eric: Looking like a fucking morph?
• 44:02
  Matt: You know, it might have cross uh who knows what crosses his mind.
• 44:06
  Eric: So actually, this is one of those things I guarantee guarantee you know way more about this than I do.
• 44:13
  Eric: Is there a legal document?
• 44:15
  Eric: Like, is there is this a legal procedure?
• 44:18
  Matt: I don't think there's a legal procedure.
• 44:20
  Matt: I think this is pure theater.
• 44:23
  Matt: I think all right.
• 44:24
  Eric: What happens to the turkey afterward?
• 44:26
  Matt: I you know, to be honest with you, I also don't know.
• 44:29
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 44:32
  Matt: Okay.
• 44:33
  Matt: I have consulted Wikipedia on the subject of National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation, I guess is the official name, which dates back to the 1940s.
• 44:44
  unknown: Okay.
• 44:45
  Matt: However, it dates back to the 1940s, but it became a tradition for the president to pardon uh the Turkey, sparing the Turkey's life during the presidency of George H.W.
• 44:58
  Matt: Bush.
• 44:59
  Matt: So it's uh the pardoning is relatively recent.
• 45:04
  Matt: Okay.
• 45:05
  Matt: I don't see anything that actually says what happens to them afterwards.
• 45:10
  Eric: Which kind of tells me everything I need to know.
• 45:14
  Matt: Trump has pardoned a turkey in 2017, 2018, and 2019.
• 45:18
  Matt: So he's pardoned a turkey every year.
• 45:20
  Eric: All right.
• 45:21
  Matt: He last year was butter, a 47-pound turkey with a height of 31 inches.
• 45:26
  Matt: It was chosen over bread, a 45-pound turkey with a height of 32 inches.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_06: Alright.
• 45:33
  Matt: Oh no.
• 45:34
  Matt: Both were from butterball contract farmer Wellie Jackson.
• 45:38
  Matt: So that makes it real.
• 45:41
  Eric: Let's talk about this fucking drive home for Welly.
• 45:44
  Matt: Willie had to go into the tur turkey coop?
• 45:47
  Eric: He that okay, now this is super fucked up.
• 45:51
  Eric: Because yeah, he had to go into the into the coop and he said, Alright, you two, one of you gets to come back like one of you will win his freedom this day.
• 46:01
  Matt: Mm-hmm.
• 46:02
  Eric: And the other one had to watch.
• 46:04
  Eric: The other one get pardoned.
• 46:05
  Matt: And then come back, and we can I think we can all assume what happened to Bred.
• 46:10
  Eric: Yeah.
• 46:10
  Eric: Holy shit.
• 46:12
  Matt: And of all things, he was he turned into he was a butterball.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_05: He was a but oh my god.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_05: And he had to what?
• 46:19
  Eric: Like, you know he was there.
• 46:21
  Matt: And you know.
• 46:22
  Matt: So here we have we have these two being selected for judgment, but on the other side of the coop, we've got a row, rows, I'd assume, of turkeys who are just staring like, these two?
• 46:36
  Matt: Butter and bread are the finalists?
• 46:40
  Matt: Really?
• 46:41
  Matt: What did I do to desert?
• 46:43
  Eric: Was I not swift enough?
• 46:45
  Eric: Did I not gorge on enough corn?
• 46:49
  Eric: Were my plumes not grand enough?
• 46:53
  Eric: God, yeah, that I feel like I feel like honestly, this is it's gonna be super depressing for the turkey who gets pardon.
• 47:02
  Eric: Because he's just gonna listen to the other, the other turkeys talk to each other, like, was I not good enough?
• 47:07
  Matt: Yeah, he well, he's also gonna come back to if he assuming he comes back, assuming the pardon is real and he is not killed, he's gonna come back.
• 47:17
  Matt: Butter comes back from his pardoning last year to an empty coop.
• 47:22
  Eric: All of his friends are dead.
• 47:24
  Matt: All of his friends are dead, and he begins to sing empty chairs at empty tables from Le Miz, Alone in the Coop.
• 47:31
  Matt: Oh my god! Empty stalls and empty coops.
• 47:35
  Eric: Is he is he voiced by Redmond?
• 47:38
  Matt: You mean Redmane?
• 47:40
  Eric: Redmane?
• 47:42
  Eric: Is he voiced by Redmane?
• 47:43
  Eric: I couldn't even remember his face.
• 47:46
  Matt: I think he is.
• 47:46
  Matt: I think Butter comes back, he sings this beautiful tune.
• 47:50
  Eric: I'm just imagining Eddie Redmane's head on a turkey.
• 47:53
  Matt: Yeah, absolutely.
• 47:55
  Eric: So Eddie So Eddie Redmane, Turkey Redmane.
• 47:59
  Matt: Turkey Redmane sings his sad ballad all alone in in I don't know what turkey it's live in.
• 48:06
  Matt: Hey.
• 48:07
  Eric: With his weird mouth.
• 48:08
  Eric: What?
• 48:09
  Eric: He's a weird mouth.
• 48:10
  Matt: Who?
• 48:10
  Matt: Eddie Redmane?
• 48:12
  Matt: Are you just looking at pictures of Eddie Redmane now?
• 48:14
  Eric: No, I can see it in my head.
• 48:15
  Eric: That's how weird it is.
• 48:17
  Matt: It's not that weird of a mouth.
• 48:20
  Eric: It's not, it's not, it's not an ugly mouth.
• 48:22
  Eric: He's an Eddie Eddie Redmane is an attractive person.
• 48:25
  Matt: I don't think anyone's arguing that.
• 48:27
  Eric: With a weird mouth.
• 48:28
  Matt: He I know what you're referencing.
• 48:30
  Matt: You're referencing this weird like dip that happens when he smiles.
• 48:34
  Eric: Weird dip when he smiles, and when he sings, his mouth does real wild shit.
• 48:40
  Matt: Yeah, no, I get that, but nevertheless, I don't think that affects Turkey Redmane.
• 48:45
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 48:46
  Eric: Turkey Redmane don't give a fuck.
• 48:48
  Eric: Turkey Redmane is dealing with a lot of shit right now, and honestly, I'm not trying to put any more on his plate.
• 48:52
  Matt: No, he's coming back.
• 48:54
  Matt: He's going through, you know, a finale.
• 48:59
  Matt: I like I'm picturing it.
• 49:01
  Matt: He has survivor's remorse.
• 49:04
  Eric: Survivor's remorse, like as the turkeys are being herded into the slaughterhouse, there I imagine it's like a bunch of turkeys turning to Eddie Red Turkey Redmane and being like, remember us.
• 49:16
  Eric: Do not forget our faces.
• 49:18
  Eric: Take my child, like a turkey trying to pass a smaller turkey over the fence, Eddie Redmane.
• 49:22
  Eric: He's like, I can't, I don't have hands.
• 49:27
  Matt: Oh my god, Eric.
• 49:29
  Matt: Yeah, man.
• 49:30
  Matt: What?
• 49:30
  Matt: It's it's super fucked up.
• 49:32
  unknown: Wow.
• 49:33
  Matt: This might change my opinion of the presidential party.
• 49:36
  Eric: Yeah, no, it's like you're you're dooming this turkey to a fucked up existence.
• 49:41
  Matt: I'll take off my glasses too, since they're really getting serious.
• 49:46
  Eric: That's how you know shit got real.
• 49:48
  Matt: When you're pointing your glasses at me in the camera, that's how I know this is a serious yeah, this has hit a serious nerve.
• 49:57
  Eric: It's like that part of the TED talk where it's been laughs, laughs, laughs.
• 50:01
  Eric: Now let's talk about someone I know who died.
• 50:04
  Matt: You know, I still like the pardon, though.
• 50:06
  Matt: Uh great question, Lindsay.
• 50:09
  Matt: Yeah, I like the pardon.
• 50:11
  Matt: It's still fun.
• 50:12
  Matt: It is just making me realize that there's a horrible, horrible underbelly to that.
• 50:17
  Matt: Much, you know what it is?
• 50:19
  Matt: You know what it is?
• 50:20
  Matt: It's much like that rope on the elephant's foot.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_06: Full fucking circle, man.
• 50:27
  Matt: Full circle.
• 50:28
  Matt: Okay, well, thank you, Simply Lindsay, for the question.
• 50:33
  Matt: I think that I think we've answered the question, and we have, like you said, a full circle moment to this podcast episode, episode four, before, of course, we get into our weird news.
• 50:45
  Matt: But let me just say this we had other questions planned, didn't get to them because we had to get into the weeds about pie crust and cake crust and cold turkey and mayonnaise.
• 50:58
  Matt: Cold turkey and mayonnaise and other hot takes.
• 51:00
  Matt: So we're gonna have to save some questions for next time, but that's fine.
• 51:04
  Matt: We still need questions.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, please.
• 51:07
  Matt: And also, you know, we love the feedback.
• 51:10
  Matt: Let us know that we this is nascent stages, uh still, I'd say.
• 51:15
  Matt: Early days.
• 51:16
  Eric: We're we're evolving, we're growing, we're popping off.
• 51:19
  Eric: We're like freeform jazz.
• 51:20
  Matt: I gotta say, I kind of like just going quick question to quick question.
• 51:24
  Eric: I love it.
• 51:24
  Eric: I'm I love it so much.
• 51:26
  Matt: It makes me feel like we have a hit NPR show.
• 51:30
  Matt: Yes, which of course I assume we will.
• 51:33
  Matt: Um so thank you all for the questions.
• 51:36
  Matt: Send them, please, to you didn't ask for this at gmail.com or you didn't ask pod on Instagram or Twitter.
• 51:43
  Matt: That's letter you didn't ask pod.
• 51:45
  Matt: And also drop us some reviews.
• 51:48
  Matt: Let me say that.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my god, yeah.
• 51:51
  Matt: You can also ask us reviews in a in a review posting if you want, but you know, more importantly, leave us a review.
• 51:59
  Matt: If you've listened to the podcast, leave a review.
• 52:02
  Matt: You you know that's that's what you know promotes within the podcast community.
• 52:07
  Matt: That's what gets us up the charts.
• 52:09
  Matt: And right now I can only assume we're we're so far down the charts that they have to go to like uh Raiders of the Lost Ark type warehouse to find the paper record of where we rank.
• 52:24
  Eric: There's some guy typing up our download quotas.
• 52:27
  Matt: Yeah, he won't even enter it into a computer because it offends him.
• 52:30
  Matt: And that's because you didn't review us.
• 52:33
  Matt: So send us a review, please.
• 52:35
  Matt: Bastards.
• 52:36
  Matt: Five stars, thank you.
• 52:40
  Matt: Oh, now now we sound like DoorDash drivers who are like leave a big tip when they leave.
• 52:46
  Eric: Hey, it's your delivery driver, Han Solo, tip tip, tip, tip.
• 52:50
  Eric: What?
• 52:51
  Eric: I had that happen.
• 52:52
  Matt: He said, You had a delivery driver say Han Solo?
• 52:55
  Eric: No, yeah, I've had I've I've noticed why my my drivers have been like giving themselves cute names.
• 52:59
  Eric: I like it.
• 53:00
  Eric: I enjoy it a lot.
• 53:00
  Eric: One one was named Han Solo.
• 53:02
  unknown: Wow.
• 53:03
  Eric: And like like he's like, it's Han Solo pulling up in the Millennium Falcon.
• 53:07
  Matt: It's just like that is the least Han Solo thing he could have said.
• 53:13
  Eric: Yeah.
• 53:13
  Eric: Yeah, if he was a real man, he would have crashed through my living room window yelling, Woohoo.
• 53:21
  Matt: Yeah, he would have.
• 53:23
  Eric: Here's your taco bell.
• 53:25
  Matt: Should we get into some weird news before we bid our everyone an adieu?
• 53:29
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, let's get into some weird news.
• 53:31
  Matt: What do you got for us, Eric?
• 53:32
  Eric: So, um, kids, don't worry, don't panic.
• 53:35
  Eric: I'm not abandoning the Canistoda Clipper.
• 53:37
  Eric: It is still there in our hearts.
• 53:39
  Eric: I'm gonna give it a little breathing room.
• 53:41
  Eric: Don't want to overwhelm.
• 53:43
  Eric: But this is an article from the Mancelona Herald, April 13th, 1922.
• 53:53
  Matt: Oh, still a still a classic weird news.
• 53:58
  Eric: Title of the article Main Man counts peas for a month and wins bet of$2.50.
• 54:05
  Eric: Oh, this is gonna be good.
• 54:07
  Eric: To win a wager of$2.50, Henry Parrish of Medibumps Main.
• 54:13
  Eric: Medi Bumps.
• 54:14
  Eric: Medi Bumps Main.
• 54:16
  Matt: Sorry to interrupt.
• 54:17
  Eric: No, no, it's yeah, it sounds like a like a weird old-timey venereal disease.
• 54:23
  Eric: Ah, I got a case of the medibumps! Don't worry, son.
• 54:27
  Matt: It it also sounds like it it would be one of the hobbits.
• 54:32
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 54:34
  Matt: It's the hobbit that didn't get to come along.
• 54:37
  Matt: Did not get to come along.
• 54:38
  Matt: No.
• 54:38
  Eric: He's the odd one.
• 54:39
  Matt: Anyway, Meribumps.
• 54:41
  Eric: Yeah.
• 54:41
  Matt: Medi bumps.
• 54:42
  Matt: Medi bumps.
• 54:45
  Matt: Medi bumps.
• 54:46
  Eric: Yeah.
• 54:46
  Eric: It's got the weird pretentious accent built into it.
• 54:49
  Matt: Medi bumps.
• 54:50
  Eric: Um to win a wager of$2.50, Henry Parish of Medibumps, Maine, has spent nearly a month counting peas.
• 54:58
  Eric: His eyes are in such condition that whether open or shut, he sees peas and quart cans.
• 55:04
  Eric: When he sleeps, he dreams of peas and quart cans.
• 55:09
  Eric: On Washington's birthday, Parish and neighbor named Wainwright engaged in an argument.
• 55:16
  Eric: Bet you two dollars and fifty cents I can count a million peas between now and the middle of March, said Parrish.
• 55:23
  Matt: What an oddly specific time frame.
• 55:26
  Eric: Said Wainwright, I'll take that bet.
• 55:30
  Eric: You can count them and put them in glass fruit jars.
• 55:33
  Eric: People were oddly specific back then.
• 55:38
  Eric: Parrish began.
• 55:39
  Eric: He took all his wife's empty fruit jars and all the peas he could borrow, and by Saturday night he had counted 100,000.
• 55:50
  Eric: This gave him hope, and he began to boast to Wainwright.
• 55:54
  Eric: I'll tell you what I'll do, said Wainwright.
• 55:57
  Eric: If you count the peas without making a mistake, I'll eat them all in two weeks.
• 56:03
  Eric: If you overcount or undercount, you eat them.
• 56:07
  Eric: Parrish took this bet and counted the first batch over again to be sure he had made no error.
• 56:15
  Matt: I would too, to be honest.
• 56:16
  Eric: Yep.
• 56:17
  Eric: Finding that he was three peas out of the way, he got nervous.
• 56:23
  Eric: Also super fucking impressive that he counted a hundred thousand and was only three off.
• 56:27
  Matt: Yeah, really.
• 56:28
  Eric: A couple days ago, Parrish finished in a rush and took all the cans over to Wainwright's house.
• 56:36
  Eric: There's the peas.
• 56:37
  Eric: Now eat them, he commanded.
• 56:40
  Eric: And fork over the two dollars and fifty cents.
• 56:44
  Eric: But how do I know you have counted correctly?
• 56:47
  Eric: protested Wainwright.
• 56:49
  Eric: You don't, so count them yourself, chuckled Parish.
• 56:53
  Eric: Well I guess I'll take it for granted if you'll let me off on eating them, said Wainwright, after thinking it over.
• 57:00
  Eric: I'll pay you the two dollars and fifty cents and call it square.
• 57:04
  Eric: So so far acute heartwarming.
• 57:06
  Eric: Oh no, you don't, gurgled Parrish.
• 57:10
  Eric: A bet's a bet, and you've got to count them.
• 57:13
  Eric: Then I'll bet you have to eat them.
• 57:16
  Eric: Wainwright is now counting peas to see whether he does or does not have to eat them.
• 57:22
  Matt: Wow.
• 57:23
  Eric: Yeah.
• 57:24
  Matt: What what a bet.
• 57:27
  Eric: What a simpler time.
• 57:28
  Matt: I would not.
• 57:29
  Matt: I know inflation has wreaked havoc on this story, obviously, but I would not take that bet for$2.50 or whatever.
• 57:38
  unknown: No.
• 57:39
  Matt: Also, he borrowed the peas.
• 57:41
  Matt: Yeah, I'm curious about the borrowing since we knew these peas were gonna end up being eaten by the loser.
• 57:48
  Eric: This sounds like a grift.
• 57:50
  Eric: Yes.
• 57:50
  Eric: Like the grift is, oh, I gotta borrow peas for this bet.
• 57:54
  Eric: But then you come back and you're like, oh, turns out the bet has increased.
• 57:59
  Eric: So now uh one of us has to eat them.
• 58:01
  Eric: I think they're both in on it.
• 58:03
  Eric: I think, I think this is happening in like depression era.
• 58:07
  Matt: Yeah.
• 58:08
  Eric: So like they just they this was their grift to get a fuck ton of peas between them.
• 58:12
  Eric: What you got for us, Matt?
• 58:14
  Matt: Well, uh mine is also slightly dated from 2013.
• 58:19
  Matt: Um it's this is turning into old news is turning this segment.
• 58:25
  Matt: See what I did there, described it for what it was.
• 58:28
  Matt: Okay, this is coming to us from the independent.
• 58:31
  Matt: So it's across the pond.
• 58:33
  Matt: Um and here's what I got for you.
• 58:35
  Matt: You're gonna enjoy this, I think.
• 58:37
  Matt: Dolphins deliberately getting high on puffer fish nerve toxins by carefully chewing and passing them around.
• 58:46
  Eric: Feed me.
• 58:47
  Matt: Dolphins are thought of as one of the most intelligent species in the animal kingdom, and experts believe they have put their ingenuity to use in pursuit of getting, in quotes, high.
• 59:03
  Matt: In extraordinary scenes, filmed for a new documentary, young dolphins were seen carefully manipulating a certain kind of puffer fish, which, if provoked, releases a nerve toxin.
• 59:18
  Matt: Though large doses of the toxin can be deadly, in small amounts it is known to produce a narcotic effect.
• 59:26
  Matt: And the dolphins appear to have worked out how to make the fish release just the right amount.
• 59:34
  Matt: Carefully chewing on the puffer fish and passing it between one another.
• 59:39
  Matt: The marine mammals then enter what seems to be a trance-like state.
• 59:45
  Matt: The behavior was captured on camera by the makers of Dolphins, Spy in the Pod, a series produced for BBC One by the award-winning wildlife documentary producer John Downer.
• 59:58
  Matt: Rob Pilly, a zoologist who also worked as a producer on the series, told the Sunday Times This was a case of young dolphins purposely experimenting with something we know to be intoxicating.
• 1:00:10
  Matt: After chewing the pufferfish gently and passing it around, they began acting most peculiarly, hanging around with their noses at the surface as if fascinated by their own reflections.
• 1:00:24
  Matt: It reminded us of that craze a few years ago when people started licking toads to get a buzz, especially the way they hung there in a day's afterwards.
• 1:00:35
  Matt: It was the most extraordinary thing to see.
• 1:00:38
  Matt: The documentary makers used spy cameras hidden in fake turtles, fish, and squid, to film 900 hours of footage showing dolphins in their natural habitats.
• 1:00:53
  Matt: It's fucking wild.
• 1:00:55
  Matt: These dolphins are literally passing a bowl around.
• 1:01:00
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:01:00
  Eric: Fucking flippers, Bogart, and the pufferfish.
• 1:01:03
  Eric: This is gr oh my god.
• 1:01:05
  Matt: Here we're talking about turkeys wondering what is going on with a pardoned turkey, and meanwhile, across the pond, we've got dolphins getting high.
• 1:01:16
  Matt: British dolphins and just floating near the surface, going, are my eyes really that big?
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, dude, there is a dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, there is a hole in my head.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_05: I can't you you've got one too.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_05: Come here.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_05: Son of feeling now, but you think you think that turtles watching us?
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_05: It's just floating around.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_05: I don't think there's a turtle, mate.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, fuck that's a good thing.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_05: That's what I'm saying, mate.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_05: Government's watching us through turtles, mate.
• 1:01:52
  Matt: Well, that was a great uh segment of High Dolphins that we're gonna now do at the end of every every episode?
• 1:01:59
  Eric: Is that what we're gonna do?
• 1:02:00
  Eric: Dolphins are fucking cool.
• 1:02:01
  Eric: Yeah, we could do like a dialogue as high dolphins too.
• 1:02:05
  Matt: We couldn't possibly end segments that way.
• 1:02:07
  Eric: The man would have to be crazy.
• 1:02:09
  Matt: The man would have to be crazy to do that.
• 1:02:11
  Matt: So that's what I got for you.
• 1:02:13
  Matt: And so again, if you're interested in seeing these, the the documentary is called Dolphins, Spy in the Pod.
• 1:02:21
  Matt: Uh, check it out.
• 1:02:23
  Matt: I guess it's from 2013.
• 1:02:24
  Matt: It could it could be out of print.
• 1:02:26
  Matt: It could have been so controversial, they they banned it.
• 1:02:29
  Matt: They bandited it, they banned it.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_03: They banded it.
• 1:02:32
  Matt: They bandited it.
• 1:02:33
  Matt: I just like saying D's.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:02:36
  Matt: Bandited it.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_03: Bandited it.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I have to say?
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_03: That's like, Matt, this episode, smooth as butter.
• 1:02:43
  Matt: Top fucking notch, this episode, if I do say so myself.
• 1:02:47
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:02:47
  Matt: I felt very good about it.
• 1:02:50
  Matt: And you know, let us know how you feel.
• 1:02:52
  Matt: Uh, how you feel about this?
• 1:02:54
  Matt: Do you uh do you do you need a main topic?
• 1:02:57
  Matt: Do you just want us to go where the conversation takes us?
• 1:03:02
  Eric: Wherever the wind takes us, wherever the fugu fish takes us.
• 1:03:05
  Matt: That's Fugu fish.
• 1:03:09
  Eric: What's the other name for puffer fish?
• 1:03:11
  Eric: Huh.
• 1:03:12
  Matt: I didn't know that.
• 1:03:13
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:03:13
  Eric: I think.
• 1:03:14
  Matt: Oh, good.
• 1:03:16
  Eric: Don't ask me.
• 1:03:17
  Matt: Let's set those corrections up in a line.
• 1:03:20
  Matt: Yes, let us know your let us know where we're wrong.
• 1:03:23
  Matt: Let us know your thoughts on what did we cover?
• 1:03:27
  Matt: Crust, turkeys, mayo gate, mayonnaise.
• 1:03:30
  Matt: What was the other gate?
• 1:03:31
  Eric: We had mayo gate, we had cheese gate, we had frick.
• 1:03:35
  Matt: Too many gates.
• 1:03:37
  Eric: Oh, we had yeah, yeah.
• 1:03:38
  Eric: We had we have more gates that we can shake a gate at.
• 1:03:40
  Eric: Um, just just just gate gate us.
• 1:03:43
  Eric: Hashtag gate gate.
• 1:03:44
  Matt: Hashtag gategate.
• 1:03:46
  Matt: Gate gate.
• 1:03:47
  Matt: Wow.
• 1:03:47
  Matt: So let us know your thoughts on all of all of the gates.
• 1:03:51
  Matt: And of course, send your questions, your complaints to you didn't ask for this at gmail.com.
• 1:03:57
  Matt: Also, you didn't ask pod on Instagram and Twitter.
• 1:04:01
  Matt: Just the letter U.
• 1:04:03
  Matt: Leave us a review, please.
• 1:04:04
  Matt: We got two on iTunes.
• 1:04:06
  Matt: We could use more.
• 1:04:08
  Matt: Subscribe to us, of course.
• 1:04:09
  Matt: You probably already are if you've listened this far.
• 1:04:12
  Matt: Um and just thank you.
• 1:04:14
  Eric: Yeah, thank you.
• 1:04:15
  Matt: Uh Eric, Eric, anything to add?
• 1:04:17
  Eric: Gang, we're so happy to be here with you.
• 1:04:20
  Matt: I'm having a great time, Eric.
• 1:04:21
  Matt: I gotta say.
• 1:04:22
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:04:22
  Matt: Especially today.
• 1:04:23
  Matt: This was this was a fun time today.
• 1:04:25
  Eric: This is a good time.
• 1:04:26
  Eric: This is a good fun time.
• 1:04:28
  Eric: I'm really craving a leftover with the Thanksgiving leftover sandwich.
• 1:04:33
  Matt: I specifically really want stovetoped stuffing right now.
• 1:04:36
  Eric: I re I'll fucking kill someone for some stover.
• 1:04:40
  Matt: And maybe a good cheesecake.
• 1:04:43
  Eric: Nice slice of cheesecake.
• 1:04:47
  Eric: You know, when you go to scoop it out of the pie tin or pie plate that it's in.
• 1:04:53
  Matt: Oh, I can feel it.
• 1:04:54
  Matt: I can feel it boiling up.
• 1:04:55
  Matt: I've made a mistake.
• 1:04:56
  Eric: I know.
• 1:04:57
  Matt: All right.
• 1:04:58
  Matt: Thank you all.
• 1:04:59
  Matt: Um, do we do we have a new tagline for today's episode?
• 1:05:02
  Eric: Ooh, hold on.
• 1:05:04
  Matt: Submit your taglines to us along with everything else we've requested from you.
• 1:05:08
  Matt: I know we're putting a lot on you, but you know, it's the least you can do, really.
• 1:05:12
  Matt: I mean, we sit here and record it for you, after all.
• 1:05:15
  Eric: Um, no, yeah.
• 1:05:16
  Eric: Send us send us taglines.
• 1:05:18
  Matt: Send us taglines.
• 1:05:19
  Matt: I'm gonna say Here, I think I might got one.
• 1:05:21
  Matt: Okay, hit us with it.
• 1:05:22
  Eric: Uh uh Well set me up, Doug.
• 1:05:25
  Eric: Give me that first task.
• 1:05:26
  Matt: You got it.
• 1:05:26
  Matt: Uh here we come.
• 1:05:27
  Matt: You ready?
• 1:05:28
  Eric: Alright.
• 1:05:28
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:05:28
  Matt: You didn't ask.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_06: Or did you?
• 1:05:32
  Matt: Bum bum bum.
• 1:05:35
  Matt: We'll see you in two weeks.
• 1:05:37
  Matt: Bye-bye.
• 1:05:38
  Matt: Bye, sweeties.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, man, I can't take it anymore.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_06: Rupert, Rupert, listening, mate.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_06: It feels like it feels like the whole surface is moving.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_06: I know, mate, it is.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_06: It's called air, you've got to breathe.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_01: Why have you become a Ringo star, Dolphin?
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, don't look at me, mate.
• 1:05:56
  SPEAKER_06: I'm just a dolphin.
• 1:06:02
  Eric: Yeah, that's good.