Latest / Untraditionally Lala / Sex Unlocked: Inside the World of High-End Escorting

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Sex Unlocked: Inside the World of High-End Escorting · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about sex baby.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hello, my little sex pots. Welcome back to sex Unlocked.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Hello Sally Carson, what a doo boo.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Hello, I'm in New York. I feel like I haven't
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: been home.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I guess you're never home.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: To dream to go home.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like always in this sad little room.
• 0:22
  Speaker 4: I know you're always in the same place, and I
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: feel like I'm like moving hotel rooms.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: But you know what, that makes me really happy, especially
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: because of Ghost and how you guys are getting, you know,
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: more serious from what you've said, when you have a baby,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: you can't bop around like that because you won't want to,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: So like, just live the dream right now, travel your
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: ass off.
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I needed these four days because I feel
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: like I was like a really like you know, fallen
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: per ghost or whatever, and I really haven't hung out
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: with them that much and I need to be like,
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: like now we're like inseparable for four days room. So
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: I'm like, Okay, I'm really gonna get to know this man.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: He's there right now.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: No, Ghost is downstairs. He's not in the room with us.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: He's in the lobby.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, So Ghost is in the lobby while we record
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: how's it going so good.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: I was tied up and.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: Blindfolded last night and I want to look at him
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: while he's doing everything to me, but he like would
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: not let me take it all, which I just it
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: was hot, but I felt like I had more anxiety
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: than like being turned on from the blindfold.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Now I was into.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Straight it was your therapy. Wait, well he.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Came in here.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: He came in here with like a plastic bath or
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: like something like wrapped up, and he was like, this
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: is for you later.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm scared, and he was like, no,
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: it's fine. We're gonna have some New York fun.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: What is that pleasure tape? Oh shit?
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: But it's like it's not too sticky, so it didn't
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: hurt or anything.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Hog tied.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: No, he tied my wrists like I was like, I
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: can't show you, but he like tied this hand to
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: this knee and then my other hand to the other knee.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: So it was like literally like in like a frog physician.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: Wait, I love that, okay, and then he put the
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: blind board on me, and then we realized that I just.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Bought, okay, some cute pajamas.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: It's like little tiny shorts like a little like cropped
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: long sleeve shirt, like little buttons on it ties me
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: up before taking the clothes off.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: How do you get them off? How do you get
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: the pants off?
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: He ripped my clothes off of my body?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: You damn.
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: No.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Like I woke up this one, I was like, damn,
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: there goes my cute new PJ.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Is that where they found another one?
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah? I just gonna one.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Ghost is putting in work for this Comcast.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Ghost is putting him work. He is putting him work.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: He's bringing great a content for us. Good for him.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: I will tell you. He did tell me he loved
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: me last night.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Did you say it back?
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: I did not. I'm scared. Like made me scared?
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: What did you say? He just like after he fucked
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: you like you were a frog.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: He was like, no, it was before it was like
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: on our date, like on our dinner date.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: I'm sweating, I know I was.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I was thank you.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: We were at Coyote Ugly and in New York and
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: it was so much fun.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: And everyone told you he told you he loved you
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: at Coyote Ugly before he took me back to the
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: hotel and fucked you like you were a frog.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was literally in the proger position. There's no
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: way I looked hot.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I bet you looked hot. I bet you looked super hot.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Wait good night, Sally. What did you say to him
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: after he said I love you?
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: I didn't know what to say because he cut.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: We were talking about how we can't tell anyone who
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: he is, and it was like I was like, I
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: want to be able to show you off and I
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: want you to hang out with my friends and all
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: this stuff. I was like, I'm really excited about us,
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: and I got sad and then he was like no,
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: like we're going to figure this out, like whatever. And
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: then he could see my brain still working and he
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: was like, wait, when's your birthday again? And I was
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: like January twenty second and he was like, you're in Aquarius.
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: Like you think you all think too much.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: He was like.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: I was like I've not felt like this in a
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: very long time, and I'm just freaking out a little bit.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: And he just grabbed my face. He's like, you have
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: nothing to worry about. I love you. He was like
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: I know, you know I love you.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: And I was just like, okay, cadamn.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: Another shot was I was yeah, I didn't know what
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: to say, but he just kept talking, so it was
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: very normal. It was not awkward or anything, Okay, and
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: then we just started making out.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: It was really cute and it made me feel sometimes
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: like I wanted to say it, but I'm just too
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: scared to say it.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: You feel like once you say it, you're like really
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: locked in. You feel like it's the one thing you
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: have that hasn't been given to him yet.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's just like I haven't felt like I
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: just I'm terrified to be cheated on it. He's not
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: that kind of guy, and I know you would never
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: cheat on me, but I'm just terrified of him because
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: he actually has like the Kyle and like the guys
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: that were on my roster before him, like I knew
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: what came with them kind of, so I was never
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: worried to be hurt by them because I already had
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: that in my head. Like with him, I'm like, damn,
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: this guy has the potential to fucking ruin me.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: No, it's just like really, you're right, it's like the
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: most amazing feeling, but very scary.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: Very scary, very scary. But we're figuring it out.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: If there's anything if there's one piece of advice that
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I could give you, which I do not take ever,
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: by the way, I think just remember to keep your
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: head where your feet are and stay in the moment
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: and just enjoy, enjoy what it's like right now in
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: the moment, because I think women can sabotage a good
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: thing because we are thinkers by nature, and then you
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: add in our zodiac and the whole bit, and then
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: we're really fucked.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: So I need to work on that too. I'm really
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: happy to you though.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Did you get off froggy style?
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: I did? And yeah, I did, but the blindfold had
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: to come off. I told him.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I was like, I've got to get this off of me.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: I have to look at you because I love eye
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: contact during sex.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Oh me too. I feel so seen when that happened.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Then I got off. Oh my god. I'm obsessed that
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: you guys got kinky last night.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: And I feel like this is going to be perfect
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: because today we have thea Roson.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: She is the host of sex Talk radio.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: And a serial entrepreneur who builds in stigmatized industries, the
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: sex industry. We're just here trying to get people comfortable
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: and I'm so excited about it. She recently launched a
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: nationwide STI I love the name, by the way testing
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: company called Testy.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I love that.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: It's so cute.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: She is sober, openly kinky, and recently shared publicly at
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: the end of July that she spent two years working
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: as a high end escort.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Love it, ma'am, I can't wait.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Her work centers on honest conversations about sex, kink, and
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: reducing shame to have better sex.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: Welcome, gorgeous, Thank you so much for having me. I
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: saw you guys launch and I was like, we got it.
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: We gotta talk.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: We got to talk because even though Sally and I
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: get on here and we talk about our sex lives,
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: we could.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Learn some things.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, we're all here just teaching each other. So I
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: first want to venture into the sobriety of it all.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: When did you get sober?
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah? So I got sober. I was living in LA
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: It was maybe like seven years ago, right before the pandemic,
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: and you know you're sober, you'll get it. I got
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: sober because my boyfriend made one comment about my drinking
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: and I was like, I'm going to prove him wrong.
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: Which is like, so not the point. But yeah, I
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: was sober for four years and I did relapse. I
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: didn't have any you know, sobriety community, and then I
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: got I got sober again and with more of a
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: recovery community. And sex is a funny subject when it
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: comes to sobriety, you know what I mean, Like my
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: sex has been exponentially better in sobriety, and I think
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: there's a lot to talk about there too, And I
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: didn't really have my sexual awakening until I was sober. Wow.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I'm sure my listeners are so sick of hearing me
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: talk about this. But the first time I ever squirted
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: was during sober sex.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: It had never happened to me before. So I'm totally
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: with you on that.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Because I think that that sex overall, especially for women,
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: maybe only for women, is my mind, body, and spirit
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: all have to be connected to my vagina or else.
• 9:07
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I tense up, but I'm like, what's happening?
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: And I don't feel like you can do that unless
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: you're like a sober person.
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: I don't know absolutely. And there's also a lot to
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: be said for like how comfortable we get with drunk sex,
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: especially in our early twenties that the idea of doing
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: it sober is freaking terrifying, you know what I mean.
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: So I understand that it's like habitual and comfortable and like,
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: sure I would want to do some freaky things drinking,
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: but it wasn't because like authentic me wanted to do them,
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean. And so yeah, it was
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: in sobriety that I found kink and sex work. Actually
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: I didn't do really either of those drinking, which I'm
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: glad about because that could be dangerous. Both could be
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: very dangerous with that of their boots. I can't imagine.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: I'm likely all and like, should I go sober?
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: No, I mean if you're a normy.
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: If you're a normy, yeah, I know when I think
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: about it, I really do every time I have sex,
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: like there's a like wine in my system, unless it's
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: like the more so.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I know you're normal. I'm like a glass maybe a
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I mean definitely probably more than a glass.
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: But it can still be a good experiment for people
• 10:13
  Speaker 5: that like drink regularly, like to try sober sex because
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: you can realize how comfortable it can be, like oh wow,
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: even to like try this new thing or ask for
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: what I want, Like I need to be you know,
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: lubricated for lack of a better word.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like that's how I feel.
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I'm like, I get nervous and then you know,
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: I have a glass of wine.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, let's do this. Yeah, like take the
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: edge off. I totally get that.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: So you you were not a high end escort during sobriety.
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: I was only one in sobriety. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yeah.
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: So up until very recently, like I'm talking like a
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: few months ago, I was a sex worker and I
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: didn't come out about it because it's you know, it's
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: gray area legal wise. I mean, it's illegal, but people
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: aren't really prosecuted, and I just I have a large
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: audience and I just didn't want people to know that
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: about me. They knew I was spinky and stuff like
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: that and involved in the lifestyle somehow, and I interview
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: sex workers all the time, but I wasn't out about
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: it until I kind of put a rap on it basically.
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I only did only did it in sobriety,
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: and a lot of sex workers actually are are sober,
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: and I think that there's a lot of judgment that
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: like clients want to just like go crazy and do coke,
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: and like, I don't know, there's there's the way the
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: media portrays it, and then there's what's actually kind of happening.
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I only did sex work and so great.
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: Can I ask you how you got into that industry? Yeah, totally.
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: So I've had the podcast for three years interviewed a
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: lot of sex workers. Ever since I was like a teenager,
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: I've been fascinated by sex work. I just think it's
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: like I just like taboo shit, so money sex, money
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: for sex king. I don't know, I just like I
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: find the extreme things very interesting. So I grew up
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: like reading about it and just very curious on the
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: on the sidelines, and I experimented with things like sugar
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: dating in my twenties.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Sugar dating like being a sugar baby.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: Sugar baby, Yeah, sugar baby, which is a whole other thing.
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: And I have lots of hot takes on that.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: It's I want to get into that, by the way, Yeah,
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: let's put it. I really really want to talk to you. Okay,
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: So you were what's it called sugar sugar sat I.
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: Mean I'll start there because it's it's important so there's
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: like one website for it called Seeking Arrangements. Now it's
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: just called Seeking and it's gone to shit. Basically, a
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: lot of my girlfriends and I like experimented with it
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: in our twenties. My hot take is that it's actually
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: more in safe for like a young woman to do
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: sugar dating on this website than like somebody to actually
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: participate in like escorting, because with sugar dating, it's just
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: these like random old, like divorce guys that are like
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: paying young inexperienced college girls like two three hundred bucks
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: for an entire night together, and it's just it can
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: just be harmful, whereas with escorting. I mean a lot
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: of people don't know this, but like you're looking at
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: their ID, you're looking at their LinkedIn, like there's like
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: a way leverage streak if anything were to happen, So
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: sugar dating could be kind of crappy for women. I'd
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: interviewed some sex workers, lots of like women that were dominatrixes,
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: friends with a lot of them, and I always just
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: been very curious. And I've done like freelance marketing, and
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: I was doing marketing work, and I had this idea
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: for testing and I was like, I'm so fucking tired
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: of making like fifty two one hundred dollars an hour.
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: I know all of these women that could show me
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: the way and like help me set up a successful profile,
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: and honestly, sex work is a lot of marketing at
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: the end of the day, and I'm a marketer. So
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: I was like, I think I can figure this out.
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: And yeah, I was stressed about money and I wanted
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: to move to New York City and I just did
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: the damn thing and had a lot of friends to
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: help me with ads and how to market and how
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: to screen clients, and did it for about two years
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: up until literally a couple of months ago, and I
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: personally had a very positive experience, which is not not
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: everyone's and definitely a privilege, but yeah, I got started
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: just from having friends in the industry.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Basically, do they introduce you to men that are like
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: this person's looking for you know, because you also said,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: it's really not like it is portrayed in the media
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: in like movies and shit, right where like it is
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: kind it can become like, oh, they're like doing blowoff
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: of each other's like private parts, you know, which.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I'm intrigued by the way, Yeah, it's not really like that.
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, So, I mean, I think part of my mission
• 14:47
  Speaker 5: is to dispel like myths about a lot of things,
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: including like kink. Like kink's a very similar thing. Like
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: we see Wolf of Wall Street, she's like pouring wax
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: and his ass. It's just like a lot of the
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: stuff is not what we see in the movies. Now again,
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: like my experience as a sex worker has been you know, privileged.
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: I didn't get pushed into this. I had other options,
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: I think, like as a white Cis woman, like a
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: lot less chance of something dangerous happening to me. But
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: I do think it's very important to kind of dispel
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: some of that. And you know, for for the way
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: it works nowadays, you do put ads on a website
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: and clients reach out to you with a phone number
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: or email. So it's not like they other girls introduce you.
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: I mean, that can happen, but it's more like like
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: running ads.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: And girls, how do you even get your ads out there?
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: Like what what websites?
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: It's a website called trist Try. You know, I have
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: some some complaints, some hot takes, but it's like literally
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: the only website that a lot of people advertise on
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: and that's problematic too. You know, I've looked into actually
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: building a competitor, but they have to be based in
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: other countries, Like you can't have uh US based like
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: website for that kind of thing. Everything that's interesting goals
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: to advertise, and you have to buy like your ad
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: in like bitcoin, Like it's fucking crazy.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of a lot that goes into it.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Passion. In order to like make it worth.
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: It, right, you have to be fucking determined. You have
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: to be a determined gal, and you have to have
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: thick skin. And like ever since I came out, like
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: I have a video kind of taking off right now,
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: and I have a thousand dms that are like how
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: do I get started? And I'm like, this isn't like
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: a business coaching, Like how do I dm to get
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: started as a hooker? You know, it's like I just worry.
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: I'm like trying to toe the line of sharing my
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: experience and being like this is not like a get
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: rich quick thing, you know what I mean? Like this
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: is hard, and you have to have really good boundaries.
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: You have to be able to like get a buy
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: check and block the person you know, like you have
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: to you have to pick up.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: You have to go above and beyond the pay check.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: And I like what you said where you acknowledge that
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: you you had other options. This was something that you
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: were interested in and that you wanted to do. You
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: were not forced into it. And I think you saying
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: that is important because the DMS you're getting it sounds
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: like you it's like I just want to make some
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: quick money, Like I don't. Yes, I don't want to
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: think about anything else except for getting in there getting
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: my paycheck. And you do have to have the boundary,
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: and I do think that came from sobriety thousand person.
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like if I were drinking, I wouldn't pick up
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: on somebody's and my With alcohol, you can override your
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: intuition really quickly, you know. And with this you have
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: to be sharp otherwise you can end up in dangerous situations.
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: And yeah, you know. The media also really conflates sex
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: work with trafficking, which I think is a very important thing.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: And there have been a lot of laws and bills
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: tried to be passed to keep sex worker safe that
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: are under the guise of trafficking, but they've actually made
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: it worse for women, and so there's a lot of
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: complexity to this stuff, but you know there are you know,
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: I have a lot of friends in New York that
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: do this and it's been like quite lucrative and like
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: crazy shit can happen. Like I know people they've like
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: had houses off for them, Like the craziest shit can happen.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: So what amazing? Yeah, amazing.
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah when you.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: And it doesn't even have to be your personal experience,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: but like the men that are looking for a high
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: end escort, like, what did you find was the most
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: common type of dude?
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: Was it?
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: You know, someone who just like wanted someone's time and affection?
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, basically, I mean and again it differs on like
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: the place and the price and all of these things.
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: But you know, being in New York City, my experience
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: was so not what I expected. Like when I got
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: I actually got started when I was in Austin, Texas,
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: and that was a little different.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: That was more like Austin Texas. How random. Yeah, different clientele,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I'm sure, but that.
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: Was more like, I don't know, your average kind of
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: blue collar guy shorter bookings. In New York it's different,
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: and you know, it's a very interesting subject for me
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: because I feel like I'm very up close and personal
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: with like the male loneliness epidemic, Like it's a the
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: clients in New York were like earned out finance and
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: tech guys, and it's not that they're unattractive or couldn't
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: get laid. It's that they're like overworked, lonely wanting companionship.
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: But you know, everyone's working like these absurd hours in
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: New York and they're literally like, I'm horny, I don't
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: have time to date. My hot take is that I
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: actually think it's responsible for men to hire sex workers
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: that don't have time to date, because what happens in
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: my vanilla dating life, I say, is I get like
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: love bombed on like hinge so that the guy can
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: get laid and then I never hear from him again.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, for us.
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: Like, can you go like not waste a bunch of
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: women's don.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: You go hire a high end escort, please, Jesus, hire
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: a professional, Hire a professional. You know what? That makes
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: so much sense that it's more responsible because there are
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: guys on all those dating apps, especially in Charles Into,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: that literally will match have sax with you and then
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: like not talk to.
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: You ever again. And whether or not they realize it,
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: they're implementing these love bombing tactics to get what they want.
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: They're telling usone what she wants to hear to get
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: you in bed, even if he knows he's absolutely not
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: available for anything else.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: And I'm like that I would have hopped into bed
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: without the love bombing. Now I'm just fucked up.
• 20:38
  Speaker 5: I manipulated and used Thanks guys. You know it's made
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: regular dating weird being paid for my time, and you
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: know this is something I talked about on my coming
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: out episode, is like got Like the phrase I used
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: was like, guys can be a really good boyfriend for
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: a few hours, Like I've never been like so spoiled,
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: like sent cars, gifts, jewelry, nice hotel, five star dinners,
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: and men can do that really well for like a
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: few hours a week. And then I go back to
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: Hinge and the guys like, can you pick a restaurant?
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, oh my god, it's really bad out here,
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: really bad out here.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: Okay, I do have a question, So have you ever
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: like fallen or like gotten feelings for someone?
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: I like that question because that would be me.
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: It can get messy. For sure. I haven't fallen for
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: anyone from escorting, No, But I mean, how do I
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: explain this? I think that some girls can have better boundaries,
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: whereas for me, I'm just like a friendly person and
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: I like to get to know people, so lines could
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: get blurred with like most sex workers aren't like texting
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: or messaging with their clients in between, but like I
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: like to have a little rapport, and it makes it
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: so that that person would be booking me or spending
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: time with me every week or every two weeks. Like
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: it became more of this like girlfriend experience thing, but
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: not not fully. But I know can get messy. And
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: I also know girls that have met their boyfriends and
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: husbands this way.
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: Again, the clientele types in New York are like pretty
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: successful guys that like have their shit together in a
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: lot of cases, and that's like an appealing group of
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: men for me. So yeah, then.
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: Just thinking about pretty women in the movie Oh yeah,
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: exactly movie same.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: And then what does the girl just expect every time
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: I sleep with you, you still have to pay even
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: though you're my boyfriend.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Now I must pay.
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: I think it turns more into something else. I mean,
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: there's also experiences where girls get like bought out, meaning
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: like hey, what do you want for months? So you're
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: just seeing me as a client like this this world,
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: yeah where the lore here is crazy and I wish
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: I could, you know, share more stories.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: But you know what, though, that is a smart woman.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: You're gonna have to buy me out, Like what are
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: you willing to give? Because at the end of the day,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: it started as you know, a transactional thing. But women
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: are fucking smart, right, yes, yes, you know the business.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: And when we talked about the sugar dating, I didn't
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: think of myself as a sugar baby just because the
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: guy that I was with, I was exclusively with him.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: We ended up getting engaged having a baby like I
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: was planning alive with him. A lot of people would
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: disagree and say you were a sugar baby and all
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: the other names they want to call me all good.
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: Gosh, I was.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: I was talking to.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: My friend about this, that when you start dating someone
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: or whatever the arrangement may be, you cannot do anything
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: with paid rent or chanel bags. When this person decides
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: to move on, Am I onto something?
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: I mean?
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: I also think that like society has to put women
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: in a box, right, And so I think that there
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: are a lot of kind of like, no, she wasn't
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: a sex worker, she'd have ads running. But I think
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: that there's a lot of transactional relationships to some degree
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: happening all around us. But you know, there's there's a
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: female celebrity who I was doing this deep dive on
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: and she got paid like I don't know, fifty grand
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: to go to like a baseball game or a basketball
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: game with this like billionaire guy. And it's like, but
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: that wasn't looked at as sex work because she already
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: had the same status, you know, And it's like, where
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: do we draw the line here or not draw the line?
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's kind of the same as like, you know,
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: someone buying my flight to Miami and then buying my
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: hotel room in Miami. You know what I'm saying, Like,
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: where's this transactional?
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: Totally?
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you see this in New York,
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: but in LA I always see especially at very nice
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: hotels where like you're not going to see the paparazzi
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: camped out, but you see these people who don't really
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: go together, and you know, it's transactional and the woman
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: is always looked at as like the you know, she
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: has this scarlet letter on. It's like, well, this guy's
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: like ninety seven and he's with her because she's fucking hot.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: So this seems like a fair yeah.
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: A mutually beneficial evening, just like be okay, you know
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: what I mean. But yeah, the woman, the woman for
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: thousands of years has always been put as the bad
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: guy in this in this situation.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I mean my And what's crazy to me
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: is it's usually I'm going to say my very unpopular
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: opinion and my own feeling. I don't like to label
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: myself as a girl's girl. And here's the reason why.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I think that puts a target on your back that
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: you can never beef or comment on maybe a woman's
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: behavior that you don't agree with.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: It has nothing to do like I still.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Got you, like power to the pussy, but I do
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: feel like it puts a target on your back. But
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: I feel like every mean name I've ever been called
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: or shameful name about even Sally and I having this sex.
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: Podcast, Yeah come from a woman. I hate the term
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: girls girl. I've said it, like I get called all
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: this stuff from like my platform on Southern Charman staff,
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, I don't really care if you have
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: a dick or a vagina. If you're wrong, you're wrong. Like,
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: of course I'm gonna be a Those girls to my
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: like solid girlfriends and like have their back with everything.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: But I think there's certain situations where you don't necessarily
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: need to be a girls girl, because sometimes girls are
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: fucking wrong.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you there's no sisterhood. I was friends
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: with so many strippers back in Utah and girls in
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: in uh the sex industry.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you those bitches are girls girls.
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: I will tell you what.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I've never had any girl's rock with me that hard ever,
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: zero judgment.
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: Strippers in Utah. I think you guys should do that
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: as nepisode. That sounds juicy, Yeah right.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: You know in Utah they cannot show you can't show nipple,
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: and you have to wear underwear and.
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: Beer is like a third percent or something.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: And you can barely get drunk. Is what Mormon?
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Right? Yeah I'm not Mormon, but Utah is the beehive
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: state the Mormons and you because I would go to
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: this place called Trails like every week and to support
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: my friends and they there's like a railing around where
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: they dance like you cannot touch that interesting, this is
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: a good gig grat Yes.
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: Where there's more like traditional family value type stuff, you
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: actually have more, more sex work, more strikers, more. You know,
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: it's like the irony is just just everywhere with this
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: kind of thing, regardless of what the exchanges or what
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: type of sex work it is.
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm sure places and yeah, do you feel like
• 27:59
  Speaker 6: it's the industry that you were in is more prominent
• 28:03
  Speaker 6: in larger cities?
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: Definitely? Yeah, yeah, And that's definitely where people can charge
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: more and have kind of like these more high end experiences.
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: Because I also don't want to discount that, Like you know,
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: there are women out there in other states or smaller
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: places that are probably making a couple hundred bucks an
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: hour and they're seeing a ton of clients every day
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: and maybe they're not screening. And yeah, I think there's
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: a lot of different different levels to it.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: What is the screening process? Like like are we wearing condoms?
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: Are we?
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: Oh?
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Always?
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: I mean in my in my experience, again, it's probably
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: different depending and like you know, there's massage parlors too,
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: there's all types of stuff, but for me one hundred
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: percent of the time using condoms, I would see the
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: person's ID. There's a deposit sense, so if they were
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: to cancel, which also made me think about dating, like
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: somebody want to put a deposit down, so if they
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: were going to waste my time, at least I was getting,
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: you know, of the two thousand dollars or whatever it was.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: Wait, you just said massage parlor.
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: I didn't work at one. I was just saying, like,
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: there are so many different types of sex work experiences
• 29:12
  Speaker 5: in the US, and like I think at some places
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: condoms aren't used, you know, so I don't want.
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: To got it for everyone, but yeah, always I love
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: a massage to get me going.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: That's why I called my.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: When I first moved to La You guys, there was
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: this guy who had reached out to me and said,
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: and this was when it was called model Mayhem. I
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: don't know if you remember that website, and it was
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: to find like modeling gigs, you know, like basic. This
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: guy had found me and he reached out and said
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: that he has women go to these celebrity poker nights
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: to massage the men that are there. And I was like, okay,
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: not great. At massaging. But I saw the dollar amount
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: and it was ten thousand dollars. Okay, ten grand. I'm
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: new to la, I'm twenty three. I'm like, all I
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: gotta do is rub some guy's bag. I'm ill, so
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I was like, down, let's fucking go. It was like
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: I need to meet up with you, though, because I
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: need to feel your hands and see them. And I
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: was like, this is weird. I was like, I'm a
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: little confused why. I was like, if I'm just like massaging,
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: you know, guys backs while they're playing poker, Like, why
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: do you need to feel my hands? He goes, honey,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: if you think you're making ten thousand dollars just to
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: massage their backs?
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I'm good, I'm okay on this.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: But by the way, the bitch that it's down ten grand, right,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: anything that.
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: Seems too good to be true, it.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Is it probably is right. It was just so naive,
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: and you know, he he was very polite. When I
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: was like, oh no, I didn't realize that. He was like,
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: no problem. If you ever change your mind, you know
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: where to find me. And I was like, oh, what
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: a pleasant experience. No means no, and he's on his way.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: That's good, it was great. I had another question for you,
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Oh the kink what because there's obviously different levels of kink, right,
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I like to think that I'm kinky because sometimes I'll
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: like do handstands and stuff or like do weird shit.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm like really comfortable back in
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: the day when I was drinking handstand I like it,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Like I literally, like literally.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Do a handstand.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not quite sure how it works, but like you said,
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: when you're when you're drinking, yeah, you just do shit
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: for the hell of it, not because it's even enjoyable,
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: but like, what will they think is like fun and
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: cool and kinky in your experience?
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Like what what?
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: How do you even gauge like a kinky If a
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: guy's like, are you kinky? Are you more this, I'm like,
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: I don't really know what that even means any more totally.
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: So Yeah, I mean I think kink can mean a
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: lot of things. It can mean power dynamics, which is
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: kind of what I'm into. It can mean like I
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: love whips and chains or dressing up a certain way.
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: Then there's like fetishes, which are like the definition of
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: fetish is like you kind of need that involved to
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: get off or have an orgasm. So people when people
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: say like they have a foot fetish, it kind of
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: means like it's their thing and they like need that.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: And yeah, there's a whole spectrum. But again when it
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: comes back to media, like I think, you know, things
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: like Fifty Shades of Gray really did a number on
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: society because they're like, that's kind of like an abusive
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: relationship basically is what's being modeled in that movie. And
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: it's like he punishes her when she's bad. It's just
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: like it's not the best depiction, but it's a reference
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: for a lot of people. And you know, for me,
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: I started getting involved in kink as like more of
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: a submissive, Like I'm dominant, I'm a CEO, Like I
• 32:56
  Speaker 5: like to turn my brain off. So if somebody can
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: like boss me around and I trust them and tell
• 33:01
  Speaker 5: me what to do, like that's really sexy and I
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: can get into like an altered headspace. Now, what I learned,
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: there's an app called Field, which is like a kinky
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: dating app. It's where I usually date. What I found
• 33:12
  Speaker 5: is that guys that like self identify as a dom
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: are usually like shitty men that are using that are
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: actually using like dominance as an outlive for aggression, like
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: they want to overpower a woman control, and it's kind
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: of like I get out of jail free when they're
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: just like, I'm a dom which is not great. And
• 33:31
  Speaker 5: so having had a number of unpleasant experiences with that,
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: I did a flip and I started exploring being a
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: dom or being dominant with guys. And it has been
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: like the most fun fucking journey ever because it's made
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: me more confident. It's made me a better boss, Like
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: like literally bossing men around in the bedroom has made
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: me a better person thousand persons.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: So I don't I'm sure I know Sally feels this
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: way at times. I talk about it all the time,
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: and you know you're out here, you know, being a
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: boss bitch as well.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: I feel like I.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: Constantly am bringing big dick energy just in the day
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: to day even at home, like I'm the mom, I'm
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: the dad, I'm the provider, but I'm also cooking and cleaning,
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: not saying I don't have help. So in the bedroom,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: I really just want to be like dominated.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like that's like, am I is that gonna have me?
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: Like attract the wrong dude, then like, do I need
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: to be more dominant in the bedroom and then maybe
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: I can find my feminine side in real life?
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: No?
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: I mean yeah, it sounds like you've got a lot
• 34:42
  Speaker 5: of big deck energy throughout your day and it makes
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: sense that you'd want to be submissive in the bedroom.
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: It's more about and again if you're not like on
• 34:49
  Speaker 5: these apps, it's more about the guys that identifies like
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: I'm a domb in the bedroom that are kind of
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: the red flag. I mean, it's more about just finding
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: a guy. Like for me, thing about kink and the
• 35:01
  Speaker 5: bedroom is you have to feel safe. Like safety is
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: the first thing. If it is a performance, if you're
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: putting on a submissive performance for a guy or trying
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: to win him over through that, that's not really like
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: an authentic power dynamic. But if you find a guy
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: where you're like, oh, I want him to tell me
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: what the fuck to do and I'm gonna listen and
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: I trust him to do it with me, like safely
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: and responsibly, how does fucking thing ever?
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: Wait, I'm gonna try that the next time I have
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: sexy time.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: Lala, have you ever tried to be domb?
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: I don't know that I've tried. I think I just
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: I've fallen into that at times. But during my sobriety,
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: I feel like, for the most part, I'm pretty submissive.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I don't know why. I think.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: I also think it comes with comfortability. Like I said,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: my whole body has to be connected in order for
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: me to like enjoy it and get off.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I am going to try it now.
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: I know too, you should. I'm going to try it
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: tonight and to explore. And for women, it doesn't feel
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: authentic at first because we have spent entire lives being
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: conditioned to follow, especially if a man is involved, not
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: just in the bedroom, but like we're just conditioned to
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: follow the lead of someone else, and to follow the
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: lead of a man, let him talk first, all these things.
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: And so for me, it took a lot of practice
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: to like undo some of that. And like the first
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: time I ever like dom to guy, I like it
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: felt so silly and I was like, this is not
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: for me. But then I kept I kept practicing, like
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: I had to practice that I was used to following.
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: And it's hot too. Like the reason I like being
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: dominant in the bedroom is it's a. It's a role
• 36:45
  Speaker 5: reversal from in society for me and for the guy,
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: like he's been conditioned to lead. And like there's also
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: this thing called subspace, which I don't know if you've
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: experienced this fla law, but it's like it's when somebody
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: is like kind of leading in the bed to a
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: point where you feel altered, Like you feel high because
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: you're just like so out of your head and you
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: get really submissive, and it's like you can actually achieve
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: these kind of altered states without substances if things get
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: spicy enough.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, Wow, I feel so seen right now. Okay, so
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: give me give me a tip on how I how
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: do I enter my my dominance with a guy, Like
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: what's like one do I tell them to sit in
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: the corner, like what am I doing.
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: In the corner and shut up?
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Like that would be one piece of advice for me
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: to get into that zone.
• 37:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think that there's different levels of hard
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: corenice right, Like, So for me, I thought it had
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: to be like I want to wear a latex and
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: hit a man with a chain or something like. It
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: had to be so extreme and that had never appealed
• 37:50
  Speaker 5: to me. I so I'm I'm. The term is like
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: a mommy dom, which sounds weird, but it's just like
• 37:55
  Speaker 5: how girls call a guy daddy, but it's it's more
• 37:58
  Speaker 5: of like soft and nurturing, like I, in and of myself,
• 38:01
  Speaker 5: I'm a more like soft nurturing person versus like wanting
• 38:04
  Speaker 5: to inflict pain. And so you know what I think
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: you both of you would be shocked by is if
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: you ask just about any fucking guy like, hey, I
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: kind of want to like lead in the bedroom, I
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: kind of want to take charge. Has anything like that?
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: Does the thought of that turn you on? I'm not
• 38:21
  Speaker 5: fucking joking, Like ninety percent of guys would say yes,
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: they're just embarrassed to like share that fantasy with someone,
• 38:26
  Speaker 5: but across the board, they're very into it usually. And
• 38:30
  Speaker 5: the advice would be like when you're actually getting down
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: and dirty, it's it's more about just using words like
• 38:38
  Speaker 5: I want to do this to you now, I want
• 38:40
  Speaker 5: you to I don't know, like sit on your hands
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: and I'm controlling your cock. I don't know how dirty
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: we can get here.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: I like dirty, yeah, I like to.
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: My best advice is like blindfolding a guy, because then
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: you're not self conscious about how silly you look trying
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: to be a dom and then he's not self conscious
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: about how he looks. So big fan of the blindfold.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: Actually, not that you're talking about it, because I too.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: When I think of like dom, I think of whips
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: and chains and like inflicting pain. So now that you're
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: saying it, the blindfolding and the like maybe tying up,
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe I am a little bit more dominant
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: than I thought.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: In the bedroom.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: It's just like I'm a mommy dommy.
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, mommy dom It's like soft nurturing, creating a safe
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: space so the guy can like surrender, just like the
• 39:33
  Speaker 5: verse if it was a guy. And yeah, I mean
• 39:37
  Speaker 5: we all kind of find like our own style with kink.
• 39:39
  Speaker 5: But like for me, it's not about the thing. It's
• 39:41
  Speaker 5: not about like the items. It's like I like the
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: psychological power play, Like I like being worshiped and praised
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: and you know, yeah it's hot hot.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: I feel like you and I are on on the
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: same page with the sexy the king.
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel very I'm technically a switch, like I
• 40:04
  Speaker 5: can I can do both. Like like my actually dream
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: scenario is having a dominant partner like a daddy like
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: older sexy daddy vibes, and then like a younger guy
• 40:13
  Speaker 5: that's like I get to boss around.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're do you?
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: But you like being the dominant more now that you've
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: experienced it.
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: I like both almost equally, I would say, because Okay,
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: I feel like you're still at work, like while you're
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: talking about all the shit you have to do, it's
• 40:30
  Speaker 5: like being in charge of your brain's still on in
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: that way where when you get to be submissive, it's like,
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: oh I get to make less decisions somebody, right, Yeah,
• 40:37
  Speaker 5: So I like both. But for me, I'm like just
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: not joking with how few good dominant, confident men there
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: are out there in that role because I have to
• 40:46
  Speaker 5: play hard for me to find that. It's been hard
• 40:49
  Speaker 5: for me to find that.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: Before I release you, I want to know about your
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: dating life and when you find someone who you're interested in,
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: do you tell them the line of work.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: You used to be and what is the response if
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: you do?
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: Great question? So yes, I would usually disclose it if
• 41:06
  Speaker 5: I'd gone on more than a couple of dates with somebody,
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: And the funny thing is that I would tell them
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: how much I was making. So I was charging over
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: one thousand dollars an hour when I was escorting, and
• 41:16
  Speaker 5: I would tell them that and literally one hundred percent
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: of the time guys would be like, you know, I would,
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: I would do that if I could, I would. Every
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: guy would hands down sell his body for probably five
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: hundred dollars an hour if.
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: They yeah, I'm sitting here like I'm in New York stort. Yeah, right,
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: thousand dollars an hour. It's crazy, that's amazing.
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and the guys here usually want to go for
• 41:39
  Speaker 5: longer dates which include dinner and like it can be
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: a whole thing. My overnight rate was six thousand dollars
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: an hour, So yeah, you could. If you can hack
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: the marketing component of it and know what you're doing,
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: it's Yeah, it's really fucking lucrative.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: I I'm highly impressed.
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: Come, I know right.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: This for free that I could never get back? What
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: the fuck it?
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: And you're a dud?
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: You should be dating me.
• 42:10
  Speaker 5: When I was doing it, my sex worker friends and
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: I would call like regular dating, like our propo network.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: That's so sunny, like the little charity case you do
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: for free?
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: Yes, what if you meet someone and you want to like,
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: that's a lot of money to just be like, all right,
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: I've moved on, would you ever want to venture back
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: into it? Like would that have to be a conversation
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: with the guy you're dating? Being like I, even though
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing it now, it's not something that I'm
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: fully from.
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: My plan is to be done with it. I raised
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: money for the STI testing company I launched a few
• 42:46
  Speaker 5: months ago, and I'm raising more money now with hopes
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: of you know, giving myself a salary and really like
• 42:53
  Speaker 5: building you know, a real, real health tech company here.
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: So I don't plan to get back into it, especially
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: now that I've unleashed the can of worms of calling
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: the whole fucking internet. But you know, again, I was
• 43:04
  Speaker 5: consistently like in my coming out process, which is very new,
• 43:07
  Speaker 5: I keep expecting to be rejected, whether it's a friend
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: or family or man, and like, no one has been
• 43:14
  Speaker 5: like I don't want to talk to you anymore or
• 43:17
  Speaker 5: I don't want to date you. Like it's I think
• 43:19
  Speaker 5: that I think that media and things are kind of
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: curious right now about sex work. And you know, I
• 43:27
  Speaker 5: haven't experienced the rejection that I thought I would, And
• 43:30
  Speaker 5: my future man is is going to like be interested
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: in this part of my history.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: So I love it, and I think that what you're
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: doing is absolutely incredible. Can people purchase testes? Is it
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: like an it's like an at home take.
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: I love that phrasing. Somebody literally said that for the
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: first time yesterday, Like it's like calling them testy, Like
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: I got a testy. So anyways, it's just it's just
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: like I'm in partnership with like LAPS like lap Core.
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: So you pick a panel on our website, you walk
• 44:02
  Speaker 5: right into a lab, give your blood here, and get
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: your results in a couple of days. I wanted to
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: cut out the awkward doctors off as it is it
• 44:08
  Speaker 5: where people ask you how many people you've had sex
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: with and like all of that stuff. Yeah, men get
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: tested about half the rate that women do, and so
• 44:16
  Speaker 5: my goal, too is to just make testing fucking easier
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: for everyone so that we can get men testing less stigma.
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: I do want to offer partner testing and call them
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: a pair of testes. I think that would be fucking hilarious.
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: It's so cute, and yeah, I just there's literally data
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: that shows if you've gotten tested recently or taken better
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: care of your sexual health, you have better sex. So
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: I'm kind of trying to look at it from that
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: angle versus fear based and yeah, I just want people
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: to get tested without the awkwardness.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: That's absolutely amazing.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: I I can love you, and I'm in awe of you,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: and I love that you're out in these streets like
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: spreading awareness and destigmatizing sex in the industry and also
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: being smart about it.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: Where can people buy testes.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: Testing you to tell my guy friends, yes, yes they don't.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, you'd be shocked.
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: I've asked them because like I get tested after every
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: new partner because I'm just like a freak about it.
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: But there's guys in my life They're like, I haven't
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: been tested in five years. I'm like, you're sleeping around
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: Charleston and you have them been tested, and like it's crazy.
• 45:25
  Speaker 5: Literally the majority of Gonnery and chmmytee is asymptomatic, like
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: most people are wouldn't know if they have anything. Yeah, yeah,
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: it's alarming. But the website is testyhealth dot com. It's
• 45:36
  Speaker 5: t E S t I E and we're nationwide, so
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: you just you can just walk in and get tested.
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: We usually have results in two days, so like if
• 45:43
  Speaker 5: you have an upcoming hookup, like we're designed for them.
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: I'm like, gosh, I'm getting this, you know how long
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: after like say I slept with somebody last night and
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: yet like you go and get.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: Tested the next day if you and like know if
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: you had something or.
• 45:58
  Speaker 5: Is it not that beast? It doesn't not work like that.
• 46:01
  Speaker 5: So there's actually things called I think it's called an
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: incubation window is the right term, And they're different for
• 46:05
  Speaker 5: every STI but they're usually like over seven days. So
• 46:09
  Speaker 5: I see people on our website purchasing like on Monday
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: mornings or late night Sunday because they like got drunk
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: and fuck someone probably on the weekend, and I'm like, heabe,
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: this isn't going to be accurate, you know.
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: So okay, so people need to know that.
• 46:22
  Speaker 5: People do need to know that.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: So what's the incubation period? Did you say?
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: It's like at least seven days, at least a week
• 46:28
  Speaker 5: for most STIs, if not two weeks. So if you've
• 46:31
  Speaker 5: had unprotected sex with somebody and you're worried you should
• 46:35
  Speaker 5: not be having sex with anyone and wait a little
• 46:37
  Speaker 5: bit to get tested. Yeah, it's crazy. There's a lot
• 46:41
  Speaker 5: of a lot of info I need to. I'm trying
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: to spread out out.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Here, And I ask you a really dumb question.
• 46:47
  Speaker 5: No, I bring it on.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, yes, what's the difference between an STI and
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: an STD?
• 46:53
  Speaker 5: No, that's a great question. So it's it's more of
• 46:56
  Speaker 5: like it's just moved from STD to st I, Like
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: it's the same kind of concept. It's just more like
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: politically correct to say STI. Basically, STD stands for sexually
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: transmitted disease, which indicates more of like, your fuck, do
• 47:11
  Speaker 5: you have this forever? Lifelong? Like disease just carries more
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: weight to it, whereas sexually transmitted infection has just a
• 47:18
  Speaker 5: bit less energy to it. And most STIs are literally
• 47:21
  Speaker 5: treatable with the quick round of antibiotics. So when I
• 47:24
  Speaker 5: like go viral and testing on TikTok, it's like people
• 47:27
  Speaker 5: are like, oh, I'm so glad, I'm celibate, Like people
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: are literally celibate right now because of fear of sti's,
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, use condoms have sex, and like most
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: of them are treatable with like a week of antibiotics.
• 47:39
  Speaker 5: It's it's not the end of the world.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: So I got to get in there.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: I was supposed to go today to Oh and I
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: had to can I'm on my period. We were going
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: to do a you know, check up in there while
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: and also get that done, but he was like, I
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: want to see you after you finish your cycle.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: And now I'm tripping, like what the.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: Fuck because I haven't I haven't been tested for a minute.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, granted I wasn't really having sex, and then
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I've been getting plowed every other day.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: Good. We love that for you, and we love.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: That, but we gotta check it.
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta check it.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: I'm getting I'm getting on and getting some testies that
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: for damn sure.
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: I had the best time talking to you. Thank you
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: so much. THEA You're fucking awesome. And where can people
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: find you on socials?
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: Yes, so I'm the thea Rose. First name is th
• 48:31
  Speaker 5: h E A. And then my podcast is sex Talk
• 48:34
  Speaker 5: Radio spelled s e ggs sex and uh yeah, and
• 48:39
  Speaker 5: then Testy Testy hof all the fame.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: I love it at last, Thank you, babe, Thank you
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: guys for listening to another episode of Sex Unlocked.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: We're going to catch you next week. Bye, Hi, bye, guys,