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S4 E16 - Inventions You Can't Believe! · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the number one comedy podcast at Steve's mom's house, that is.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
0:23
SPEAKER_02: Well, hey Johnny, thanks for bringing us into the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_02: And Jeff, we're in a new year and things are really changing.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: It's just like my Uncle Sal always says change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
0:35
SPEAKER_02: How are you doing, Jeff?
0:36
SPEAKER_02: Speaking of adult diapers, which I do you get from vending machines.
0:40
SPEAKER_03: From vending machines.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: I'm doing great.
0:42
SPEAKER_03: Are you doing well?
0:44
SPEAKER_03: Is this a busy time for you?
0:45
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's starting to crank up again, starting to get busy.
0:48
SPEAKER_03: I'm still unpacking gifts, and I can't believe some of these gifts that I've received.
0:54
SPEAKER_03: It's amazing.
0:55
SPEAKER_02: All kinds of new stuff.
0:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
0:57
SPEAKER_03: For example, have you seen these things?
0:59
SPEAKER_03: They've been advertising them, but somebody gave it to me.
1:01
SPEAKER_03: It was a hover ball or a hover sphere.
1:05
SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
1:05
SPEAKER_03: Spear?
1:06
SPEAKER_03: Hover ball.
1:07
SPEAKER_03: I think I've been.
1:08
SPEAKER_03: That's in Minnesota.
1:09
SPEAKER_03: I think I've been there.
1:10
SPEAKER_03: You throw it and then it kind of floats on its own.
1:13
SPEAKER_03: It sort of spins inside.
1:15
SPEAKER_03: Uh it's based, I guess, on the sphere in Las Vegas.
1:18
SPEAKER_03: I guess it's fascinating.
1:20
SPEAKER_03: Balls that hover.
1:21
SPEAKER_02: Uh boy, I mean Teresa would really be excited about those, I imagine.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: But I know what you mean by all these new inventions.
1:27
SPEAKER_02: So it's you know, it's once again, those winds of change are just blowing.
1:31
SPEAKER_02: It's again, it's like my Uncle Sal always says, you know, when the winds of change blew through Rome, he's a history guy.
1:37
SPEAKER_02: So when the wind of change blew through Rome, they built columns.
1:41
SPEAKER_02: Now the columns blew down, of course, but they were really beautiful columns.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: But I digress.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: You know, I actually, Jeff, talking about the winds of change here.
1:49
SPEAKER_02: I was going to surprise you with some news.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh may as well lay it on you now right during the show here.
1:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, I don't think it's a big surprise.
1:57
SPEAKER_03: You you're gay, right?
1:58
SPEAKER_03: So I you know, I kind of snuck in this Hubberball idea because, you know.
2:04
SPEAKER_02: Sounds fascinating, but no, that's actually not the secret.
2:07
SPEAKER_02: It's not that exciting.
2:08
SPEAKER_02: You know, come on.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: I mean, no, I'm I'm I'm starting a new company.
2:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
2:12
SPEAKER_02: I want to be part of those winds of change.
2:14
SPEAKER_02: And you know, I could blow down a column like anybody else, but no, I don't want to do that.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: I'm starting a company and I've I've started inventing new things that are gonna be gonna be important in the new as we move forward as a people.
2:26
SPEAKER_02: This company's gonna develop the new products that I invent, and people can invest in my ideas.
2:32
SPEAKER_02: This is the most exciting part.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: People can send me money to invest in those ideas and help me fund it.
2:38
SPEAKER_02: It's kind of a go fund me.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: Wait, yeah, hey, hey, that'd be a great name for a funding source.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: Go, I'm gonna I'm gonna write that down.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna create that.
2:46
SPEAKER_02: But anyway, title of my company is called Patently False.
2:49
SPEAKER_03: That kind of makes sense.
2:50
SPEAKER_03: And Steve, I think you would be great at this.
2:52
SPEAKER_03: I mean, in a sense, you invent something every week on the show.
2:56
SPEAKER_03: So absolutely, and it and most of it's patently false, too.
2:59
SPEAKER_03: Let me tell you.
3:00
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
3:00
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I think it's a great idea.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: So tell me a little bit more.
3:04
SPEAKER_02: What I'm really learning is that with these inventions, it's not only important to get the invention right, but the title of the product is really, really important because the title is really what gets people interested in buying it and how they think about it, the product.
3:18
SPEAKER_02: So give you an example here.
3:20
SPEAKER_02: I was at the patent office to get, I just had some new inventions.
3:23
SPEAKER_02: I was at the patent office to get them registered.
3:26
SPEAKER_02: But you know, getting them registered, that's almost as much work as inventing it.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: That's a whole process, too.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I bet.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: Well, uh uh give an example here, right?
3:34
SPEAKER_02: I had some that I was right trying to register and went to the desk.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: You know, you got to sign in, you take a form for each product, of course.
3:41
SPEAKER_02: You know, so I had to start filling these out three three of them.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's surfing out three forms.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: She took some information, some basic information from me and you know, wrote the company information and all, and then asked what I invented.
3:53
SPEAKER_02: So I showed her the first one.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: I said, Well, I invented a folding bottle.
3:56
unknown: Cool.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: I said, All right, well, you know, that sounds interesting.
3:59
SPEAKER_02: What do you call you for hikers and uh yeah, and just for you know people who want to carry a bottle with them, but you know, it's a folding bottle, right?
4:06
SPEAKER_02: So she said, So what do you call it?
4:08
SPEAKER_02: I said, I call it a fottle.
4:10
SPEAKER_02: You know, because that's a catchy play on the words, a fottle.
4:14
SPEAKER_02: You know?
4:15
SPEAKER_02: She didn't react at all.
4:16
SPEAKER_02: Now she probably sees all kinds of weird shit all day long.
4:19
SPEAKER_02: So you know, I mean so she just said, All right, a fottle.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: What else do you have?
4:24
SPEAKER_02: I said, Well, I invented a folding carton.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: She said, What do you call that?
4:28
SPEAKER_02: I said, Well, I call it a fartan.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: She uh reacted a little bit, she almost kind of laughed.
4:33
SPEAKER_02: She said, You know, it's it smells like maybe you've been using that product here, but uh then she said, Oh, she looked at her watch, said, Oh, I forgot we closed for lunch.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: I gotta take a lunch where you're gonna have to come back this afternoon.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: Come back in an hour.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: Well, I didn't like that at all.
4:50
SPEAKER_02: I was so upset.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: I didn't even tell her about my folding bucket.
4:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I have a pretty I good idea what the name of that is.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a play of words.
4:58
SPEAKER_03: It's a yeah, yeah.
5:00
SPEAKER_03: It's frustrating.
5:00
SPEAKER_03: You know, you expect you hoped for better customer service, and that is so rare these days.
5:06
SPEAKER_03: And and I'm sure a lot of inventors go through the same things.
5:10
SPEAKER_03: It is interesting.
5:11
SPEAKER_03: I think that what you invented though is very interesting.
5:14
SPEAKER_03: It's it's a little strange and unique.
5:16
SPEAKER_03: You know, have you thought about how you're gonna promote it?
5:19
SPEAKER_03: When you should ask that.
5:20
SPEAKER_02: I was watching late night TV because uh sometimes when you're creating things that have never existed, it's tiring work.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: You need to kind of wind down a little bit.
5:29
SPEAKER_02: So I was watching late night TV and this commercial comes on with this guy advertising himself.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: He's invented some very popular products that have been used by mankind for many, many years, and he's got a bunch in the works, and he runs this service where he'll consult with you.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: So I thought, well, what the heck?
5:48
SPEAKER_02: So I I reached out to him and got him to come on the show.
5:51
SPEAKER_02: We can we can talk to him right here.
5:53
SPEAKER_02: Got my checkbook with me.
5:54
SPEAKER_03: I gotta ask you, what what is a checkbook?
5:57
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's a new invention that I'm coming up with.
5:59
SPEAKER_03: Uh either investing in you or investing in him.
6:02
SPEAKER_03: I I'm I'm fascinated.
6:04
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, well, it sounds cool.
6:05
SPEAKER_02: Let me uh he's like I say, he's just the other side of that class.
6:09
unknown: Uh-huh.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: Let me bring him on.
6:10
SPEAKER_02: His name is you're not gonna believe this.
6:12
SPEAKER_02: His name is Rodney Dangerfield.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: Hey, welcome to the show, Mr.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: Dangerfield.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: My dad is is Mr.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: Dangerfield.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, you you can you can call me Rodney.
6:24
SPEAKER_03: Well, Rodney, welcome to the show.
6:26
SPEAKER_03: I I know you don't get a lot of respect everywhere, but but you will hear, I promise.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm not sure what you mean.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: Uh are are you generally rude to people that you have on the show?
6:36
SPEAKER_03: No, no, it's it's a joke.
6:38
SPEAKER_03: You know, the comedian Rodney Dangerfield, that was kind of his tagline.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure what you're talking about, but but maybe I should check him out.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, as far as I know, I invented Rodney Dangerfield.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: Uh my original name, my last name was King.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: So it was just can't beat that name, but I digress.
6:56
SPEAKER_02: I understand why you changed it.
6:58
SPEAKER_02: You probably got beaten up by the cops all the time with a name like that.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: No, no, uh, I'm I'm a pretty likable guy.
7:05
SPEAKER_03: I think what Steve was implying was there was a guy got beat up, caused a bunch of riots.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm not I'm not sure uh I get that too.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: Uh although uh I was born in Caracas.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: Uh I've lived most of my life, you know, there.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: So uh but but anyway, it's it's great to be on the show.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: I understand that the fishing in Caracas is beautiful this time of year.
7:27
SPEAKER_02: It's great to have you, and uh, I'm glad that we got you when we did.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: You know, I don't know if you heard the opening.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: I was talking in the beginning here.
7:35
SPEAKER_02: I I'm a little bit of an inventor myself, and I saw your commercial and you know, thought you could give me a couple of tips or at least give me some direction to follow.
7:43
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I can follow in your footsteps.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, uh, I mean, of course.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's uh exactly what you're uh telling me you're gonna pay me for.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: Uh sure, I I'd be I'd be glad to help any way I can.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Uh I've been inventing things my whole life and I've been uh fortunate to uh invent a career out of it.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: I see what you did there.
8:02
SPEAKER_03: Maybe we should start at the beginning.
8:04
SPEAKER_03: How did you get started?
8:05
SPEAKER_03: And did you invent stuff in the past?
8:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: Well, uh, if I have to go through the resume, uh I guess.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Uh well uh I I say my first invention was a candy bar.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh I was making I was making a mess, you know, just to set the scene.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: I was making a match in the kitchen as as kids do, and then I and then I mixed some peanut butter and Hershey's bar and my mom's coffee cup.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Uh I mean it became quite popular around the house, and then I nicknamed it Rodney's Chocolate Coffee Cup with peanut butter in it.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: It was a little wordy, but everybody loved it.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: No, that is so cool.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: That's my favorite candy.
8:40
SPEAKER_02: You invented the Reese's peanut butter cup.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: Never heard of that before.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh no, no, I mean this was different.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: I added I added peanut butter to the chocolate, and then I put it in my coffee cup, and from there I kind of started adding chocolate to everything, like ice cream and and hot water and marshmallows.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: So I just kind of added all of that together, and then sometimes I would feel a little frisky, and I'd grab some cram crackers and I'd kind of put everything together.
9:07
SPEAKER_03: I love s'm'mores.
9:09
SPEAKER_03: That sounds wonderful.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: What's a s'more?
9:11
SPEAKER_00: I I've never I've never heard of that.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: Also, I I once invented a gadget.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: It was it was to stop snoring, uh, and it would use it for for birth control.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Okay, it was it was a mask that you wore to keep from opening your mouth, and I called it snores.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: Well, that must be some mask.
9:30
SPEAKER_02: It's kind of interesting that it would do both things, but let's talk about some other inventions that you've created that we might be aware of, and some of the listeners might be might be using, and and also some of the new ones that you have coming out.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay, sure.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: Uh well, my early years, uh, you know, I was quite prolific.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: You know, they always said, if yeah, yeah, if yeah.
9:49
SPEAKER_00: And then at the first one, the next one's always gonna be right around the corner.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: So so I invented kind of you know, uh stuff every day, and for some reason it kind of just came easy.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: I mean, most of the ideas were were kind of staring at me in the face.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so obviously, honesty.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: They always say it's it's the best policy, but but compared to what?
10:09
SPEAKER_00: So you had to come up with whatever the alternative for honesty was.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: Let's say you're not honest and you have to say something that isn't apparently true.
10:19
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's great for saying things that are untruth, it can handle life, it can be you can become a politician, though they they use it all the time.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: Man, if I could get a royalty from this, uh, I would never have to work another day in my life.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: So so I invented that.
10:34
SPEAKER_02: Cool.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: I forget what it was called.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: I think it was called like the lay.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: The Hawaiian thing, yeah.
10:39
SPEAKER_02: What?
10:40
SPEAKER_02: Oh, no, I I digress.
10:42
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Also, Tuesdays.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: I invented.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: The restaurant Tuesdays?
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Ruby Tuesdays?
10:47
SPEAKER_00: Well more like the day Tuesday.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: Before that, we only had six days.
10:53
SPEAKER_04: Oh.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: So Monday and Wednesday were touching each other, and it was kind of a little brother thing.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: So finally I had to kind of figure out something where they they you know talk to each other and then they got rid of it.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: So I figured it was the second day of the week because at the time the week started on Monday, so it was the two day.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: So and then that was just that simple.
11:13
SPEAKER_03: Unusual, but yeah, yeah.
11:15
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: I invented gravity uh when I ran out of glue because I got tired of things just floating, and I didn't have enough glue to keep things down on tables, so I was like, it should be down, and it just kind of stayed down for a while, and you know, you figure heck, it could be a worldwide thing.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: If you invented gravity, did you also invent its opposite comedy?
11:38
SPEAKER_00: I thought the opposite of comedy was tragedy.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: Ah, well, there you go.
11:42
SPEAKER_02: See, yeah, see, this is this is like kind of the help I need.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't like to talk about tragedy too much, not only because I kind of want to keep it upbeat, but also uh a rival invented tragedy.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: So weirdly, it's because he he took comedy and it was just he he'd always laugh after somebody stabbed somebody, uh, which always made it a little awkward.
12:05
SPEAKER_02: Just as comedies weren't that funny.
12:07
SPEAKER_02: It was that Greek guy, wasn't it?
12:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
12:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't know.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: He he was trying to do dark humor and just kind of veered off a little too much to the left, and it kind of got serious.
12:17
SPEAKER_02: Heavy on the dark light on the humor.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, heavy on the dark light on the humor, uh, which is also where I I got I got back at him though, I invented second-degree murder.
12:27
SPEAKER_03: Wow, exactly that could come in handy.
12:29
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
12:30
SPEAKER_03: My grandparents, they could have used second degree murder back then, you know, otherwise, you know, life would have been completely different.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: I mean, we only had one type of murder, okay?
12:39
SPEAKER_00: You either killed somebody or you didn't.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: So then I came up with the idea that there are multiple types of murder, okay.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: First degree is when you're gonna kill somebody, you hate them, and you had a plan.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: And second degree is when you just kind of feel like killing, and so you you killed the wrong person, or while you were doing that first one, maybe you'd wanted to get away with the second one that you did at the time, and you didn't know the person was gonna be there, so it's like second-degree murder.
13:05
SPEAKER_03: So so it's kind of more random.
13:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
13:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're not actually looking to kill a specific person, it's just more, yeah, just happens.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: Boy, did the lawyers take to that like a duck to water.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: It was it's my second, it's my it's my second most favorite thing for lawyers outside of the lay.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: I got a question on on the naming here, yeah, because you had created Tuesday as the second day, and I'm wondering what second degree murder, why didn't you just call it tutor?
13:32
SPEAKER_03: See, this is why Steve might have a future invention.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, that is that is not the worst, that is not the worst thing, or or two-degree murder, and so it kind of kind of turns and it can turn into a game of how many degrees of murder you are from a specific person.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I could just throw a name at the wall, I don't know, uh Colonel Bacon.
13:51
SPEAKER_03: In the conservatory.
13:53
SPEAKER_03: In the conservatory with the rum.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
13:56
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: So so you have all of that, and then um this is the one I've also uh kind of have a banner on the wall.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Oral sex.
14:05
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, it came to me one night.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: I bet.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: It just came one night to me.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: I was not expecting it.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's the most kind.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, the same night I was I was I was inventing cream corn, and then all of a sudden it just came to me.
14:20
SPEAKER_03: You could probably use the term second degree sex.
14:24
SPEAKER_03: Second degree sex, then just call it sex.
14:26
SPEAKER_03: Wait, sure.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: You can't you can't call it two decks.
14:30
SPEAKER_02: No, no, or just text, and then everybody'll think, oh, it's big in Texas.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you what, the look that came across my lover's face, it was amazing.
14:39
SPEAKER_03: Um those are amazing.
14:41
SPEAKER_03: I do have a question about those because some of them feel as though we've had them for a while.
14:47
SPEAKER_03: Uh were those things that you invented when you were much younger?
14:50
SPEAKER_03: Because they they've you know, oral sex has been around since well, I I I've heard it's been around for a long time.
14:58
SPEAKER_03: I yeah, I don't know from personal experience, but how long ago did you invent these things?
15:03
SPEAKER_00: It's been a while, uh obviously.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, they came in a certain order at a time.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: Tuesdays came before murder came before oral sex, and then cream corn uh was happening after that.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: But obviously, laying with laying, I could put anything in any kind of order.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh great.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's the whole concept is you just doesn't matter.
15:25
SPEAKER_02: Say whatever.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and again, it's just it's it's a thing where you never know what's exactly gonna happen.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: Like one morning, uh I woke up.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: Uh I just woke up late one morning and I missed breakfast, and it was too early for lunch, so I just kind of woke up and was like, you know what?
15:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm having both.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: Then, as far as legitimacy, I just said, you know, token already had second breakfast, and I didn't want to use that because that's too long.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: So it's like brunch.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: And I was getting I was getting ready to kind of come up with uh with a better word, and then I just kind of had a burp halfway through, and that's and that's why the name stuck.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: I always wondered about this.
16:00
SPEAKER_02: You know, if you have a meal like at three o'clock in the afternoon, would that be lunar?
16:05
SPEAKER_02: Or would that be lunar, maybe?
16:07
SPEAKER_00: It's Dunch, actually, which is weird.
16:10
SPEAKER_02: Ah, yeah, it got you.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: It kind of feels the weird name in convention, but to me, it always has to feel like you're about ready to puke when you say it.
16:20
SPEAKER_03: I'm just hearing it.
16:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm might puke right now, in fact.
16:23
SPEAKER_03: Would you say that cream corn fits better as a morning?
16:28
SPEAKER_00: It's a dunch meal.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: It's a dunch meal.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: It's a dunch meal.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: And again, Liner is more of a late dinner.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Taco Bell kind of quartered the market on that.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't get it out quick enough, and they brought up fourth meal, so I couldn't make any money off of that.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: But definitely, I have a bunch of Dunch bumper stickers on my back rooms that I try to give out to people.
16:50
SPEAKER_02: Join the Dunch Bunch.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: The Dunch Bunch, exactly.
16:54
SPEAKER_02: I like it.
16:54
SPEAKER_02: Steve, looks like you got some catching up to do.
16:57
SPEAKER_02: I'm really excited to hear what you have in store for the future here.
17:00
SPEAKER_02: You know, as long as you're comfortable sharing with us, we don't don't want anyone stealing your inventions.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, no, no, no.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm I'm very excited, and I guess I kind of figured nobody's really listening to you guys anyway.
17:12
SPEAKER_04: Well, nobody in our family.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: And this is kind of the equivalent of you know how you mail a script in the mail to yourself to postdate it.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Is this is kind of the equivalent of that.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: I plant my flag and we can we kind of figure this out.
17:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this is this is kind of the audio equivalent of writing a letter to yourself.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, absolutely.
17:29
SPEAKER_02: I know Kathy doesn't listen.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Uh that's that's fine.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: Cat Kathy.
17:37
SPEAKER_03: That's my wife, or to be more precise, my cousin once removed, which also.
17:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
17:46
SPEAKER_03: The once removed thing, which I think is so good.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: It's it's when you aren't sure or or you're embarrassed uh how you're related to a cousin, okay?
17:55
SPEAKER_00: It was a family favorite, uh, since we had a tendency to bury our cousins where we're at.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: Not because we're all related or earbred, it's just we were very shy around each other, so we didn't really want a lot of strangers.
18:07
SPEAKER_00: So we kind of had to plant that flag.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: But but I I'm I'm very excited to share share the ideas, you know.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: Since I lost my job, you know, keeping everyone in line at the DMV.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: Uh I had a lot of I had to think I've got you know some new things that'll make all of our lives better.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh, cool.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: Can't wait.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm gonna lean in and I'm gonna let you figure out the process here.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
18:32
SPEAKER_04: Okay, all right.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: So so I want you to imagine a car.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: A car is nice, but it just it it's very expensive, right?
18:42
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, to to have and to keep and to upkeep.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: And and what's the one of the big things right now that's very expensive, that always seems to be a talking point for for people?
18:52
SPEAKER_00: Gas.
18:53
SPEAKER_03: Oh, for a car, yeah.
18:55
SPEAKER_03: For a car, for a car.
18:57
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say oral sex.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, sure.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: Again, I had to figure out how to get money somewhere.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: So it's a car, okay, but it doesn't need gas.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so think about something else that isn't quite as expensive, but is very available.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: It seems to be very ubiquitous.
19:15
SPEAKER_02: Uh let's see.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: Coal helium?
19:17
SPEAKER_00: Coal, coal.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: No, if you put in helium, you're essentially just creating small Hindenburg everywhere.
19:23
SPEAKER_00: So I mean, the car crashes would be hilarious.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: Well, the car can hover then, like those.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: Exactly, exactly.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: And when it pops, you know, you have people going, that's right.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: So I think that's a thing, but coal, or I don't know, even something like electricity.
19:42
SPEAKER_04: Hmm.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: You know, having having a thing called, you know, an old uh nah, I can't think of the name right now off the top of my head.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of what's stopping me right now.
19:50
SPEAKER_02: This is a car that would run on electricity.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
19:54
SPEAKER_02: You'd charge the car, exactly, you'd plug it in, and then you'd like to how you charge your phones, exactly.
20:01
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: Haven't quite figured out all the bugs on that.
20:04
SPEAKER_03: It's probably worth billions.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: Maybe maybe even a trillion.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you know I mean, as long as the right person's in charge, we should be fine.
20:11
SPEAKER_00: You know, you have to make sure you get the right guy in charge.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: Because if the wrong guy's in charge, nobody wants to do it.
20:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, then the cars will be crashing all over the place.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: I mean, if the guy's enough of a jerk, people want to destroy the cars just because they're around.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
20:24
SPEAKER_02: Or they'll put stickers on it and it's like, I bought it before I knew he was an idiot.
20:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, you don't want that.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: You don't want that.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: You don't want that posting.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: So, so again, uh I kind of got really stuck uh in a weird spot where it's like, I want a time for people to eat.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: That's not necessarily, you know, the the five basic meals, you know, your breakfast, brunch, lunch, dunch, and dinner.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: So I'm just trying to find something, you know, in the middle of that.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: And it's not necessarily I don't want it to be a big meal.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: I want it something where it's like, you know, you just take like a little bit at a time.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe it's you know, you're just using like crudete or or something like that, you know.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh and again, the the name, the name avoids me.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of where I get stuck on all these.
21:08
SPEAKER_02: So it's food, but it's not at a meal.
21:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:12
SPEAKER_02: And it's like between the regular meals, but yeah, some food.
21:17
SPEAKER_02: It's a really good idea.
21:18
SPEAKER_02: It's a great idea.
21:19
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes between meals, I'm hungry and I don't know what to do.
21:22
SPEAKER_02: You know, I just gotta wait till the next meal, I guess.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: Gotta wait till the next meal.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: It always happens.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: So then I also have this thing where it's like, because I know the internet's everywhere, right?
21:30
SPEAKER_00: But it's hard to just kind of know where you need to go.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: And there might be some places that somebody's got some information that I don't necessarily know where it is, but I know what I can ask to get there.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: And I kind of have to put like how they say, like put a goggle on.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: Like you're you put goggles to look for more focused, you know, so something like of that nature where it's like I'm oogling with my goggles and it just kind of goes forward.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: So it's something you'd put on over your eye.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: Something that'll get started really fast and like motorize my searching capabilities.
22:08
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: Put like an engine on the back to search with where you can use your goggles.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: All of these are kind of in the the weird kind of middle area.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, there's also one where it's like it's always fun, you know.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: Like what's the fun part about Halloween?
22:24
SPEAKER_00: Meeting a bunch of strangers and going door to door and then getting candy.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: So so what if we did that with say a thing that we always need, uh like a taxi service?
22:34
SPEAKER_00: That's always the weird thing.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: It's like you always see a taxi driver, and they've got these big yellow cars, and it's like, well, this feels weird.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: This feels embarrassing that I have to drive in essentially this big yellow flag.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: What if just a random car showed up that looks just like everybody else's car, and the driver looks like everybody else, and he's an absolute stranger, and I don't ever really want to see this driver again or know this driver was a driver at one time.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: What if just a random person shows up and you get in the back of their car and they take you somewhere, and then afterwards they may, you know, harass you and ask you, you know, how well did you do, and if you could give me a little extra money for the task.
23:18
SPEAKER_03: And that's the scary component, right?
23:20
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
23:20
SPEAKER_03: So it's sort of the Halloween part of it is that the driver is scary.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: The driver can be scary.
23:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
23:28
SPEAKER_03: I love that idea.
23:30
SPEAKER_03: That's fantastic.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you just that you'd go out somewhere and you'd ask a stranger to come give you a ride somewhere.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: Yes, they come to you, it's beautiful, and then if if heaven forbid you have to get back home, you know what you do?
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Get a completely new stranger to show up.
23:45
SPEAKER_02: Whole new stranger, right?
23:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I don't want them to be qualified for it at all.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: Like I just want them to be able to operate a phone, and that's all they have to do, is they're just in a phone, in a car, and they can come and pick you up.
23:59
SPEAKER_03: Well, I can't think of anything that could go wrong.
24:02
SPEAKER_02: No, nothing goes wrong at all with that.
24:04
SPEAKER_02: That's it's that's gonna revolutionize travel, and that's something the world has really needed.
24:09
SPEAKER_02: Yes, absolutely.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so so this is this is one of the final ones, and I've definitely kind of kept this one under wraps.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: You guys all know Playboy magazines, right?
24:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: Okay, exactly.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: What if now, as opposed to having a a huge stack of Playboy magazines, and of course we're all looking at the pictures in them and reading the articles.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: What if those pictures actually moved?
24:34
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: So if those pictures actually moved, those specific pictures, even, actually moved, and maybe we could find some other pictures of some other people that aren't necessarily qualified for Playboy material, but were just very, very eager and excited, and they they decided they just want to not worry about lighting or anything like that.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: And and we we put them in a very specific place, like a cheap motel room or something, a cheap motel room or someone's car, or you know, you can combine a couple of ideas and you can bring that car driving idea up, and it's just it's a random, uh, I don't know, a van or a bus, and they're able to, you know, do what they need to do inside of those.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: And we just send that out to the masses.
25:26
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
25:27
SPEAKER_02: We are just about to get kicked out of eccentric Lady Land Studios here, but for a variety of reasons, I think.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, for more than one reason.
25:34
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I gotta tell you, uh Rodney, this has just been outstanding.
25:38
SPEAKER_02: I'd like to stay in touch as our inventions keep going.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: I am contractually obligated to stay in touch with you per the purchase of what you just did.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: You you you joined the mastermind program.
25:48
SPEAKER_02: So I got it at least a year.
25:50
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so we're good.
25:51
SPEAKER_02: We're good.
25:52
SPEAKER_02: So anyway.
25:53
SPEAKER_02: And I'm ready to write that check.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
25:55
SPEAKER_03: Whatever, and then if anyone can do anything worth it.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: I even have an acronym for that last thing.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: It's people often roaming nude.
26:04
SPEAKER_02: It's beautiful.
26:04
SPEAKER_02: I love acronyms, and that one's gonna catch on.
26:07
SPEAKER_02: I exactly I can see that being really popular.
26:10
SPEAKER_02: Johnny, what do we have for this great guest who really can invent anything he needs, but maybe we got something for him.
26:16
SPEAKER_02: What do we got, Johnny?
26:17
SPEAKER_01: Right, Steve.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: Like your Uncle Sal always says, time peek marching, and sometimes it steps on your toes.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: Randy will be our guest for wonderful evening, two hour maximum, at the modern alternative to the dating apps.
26:32
SPEAKER_01: We don't have a name for it yet, but it's a place where people who want to date go and they can meet others who want to date in real life.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: Hey, maybe we serve alcohol there too.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, all yours from Appropriation Station, the only company left.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: This has been an airzats production in association with Leali Media.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: Read all about Steve and Jeff at their website, steamjeff.com.
26:56
SPEAKER_01: This is Johnny speaking.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: Steve's not the only inventor around here.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: I've invented a few things myself.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: Like the seven second delay, and oh, my favorite a dramatic pause like this.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: Good night.