Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Confidence or Confidant?

Transcript

Confidence or Confidant? · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, Hi everybody, Hi, everybody. This is a very exciting
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: episode because it's our season finale of season one, which
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean we're leaving you for long, because we're just
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: taking a three week hiatus and then I will be back.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: So this is our last episode of this portion of
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: the podcast, well season. Really it's the end of season
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: one and we'll be back in a few weeks with
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: the beginning of season two. I have to say that
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I had the absolute best time playing the Santa Barbara Bowl.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I want to thank everyone who was there. It was
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: such good vibes, had tons of friends come out, and
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I'm just really excited about my stand up tour. So
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I wanted to give you guys some more stand up dates.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: If you live in Cincinnati. September, I'm coming to Cincinnati.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: If you live there, get your tickets. I'm coming to
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Detroit on October one. October two, I'm coming to Indianapolis.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: That's in Indiana, and then October three, I will be
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: in Grand Rapids, Michigan. So I am coming to perform
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Taft Theater, Filmore Detroit, Detroit, the Murat in Indianapolis, and
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: then Davos Performance Hall in Grand Rapids. And yeah, and
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: if you don't live in one of those cities, I'm
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: probably coming to a city near you. I'm coming to Florida.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of action in Florida. I'm coming to Portland, Maine.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to Jacksonville, Miami Beach, St. Petersburg, going to Arizona, Reno,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: all of my places anyway, look for tickets at Chelsea
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: handler dot com, ticket Master Live Nation only fans. So
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I am coming to you, and I hope that you
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: guys come and see my vaccinated in Horny to our
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: because it's so much fun. And I go off, It's
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: O g Chelsea. Okay. So we are gonna supplement our
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: weeks off with some little nuggets for you to listen
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: to each week, and we have some follow ups from
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: our callers, which are always, as they say in Espana,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: in crazy play. So I'm very much looking forward to
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: continuing to do this podcast for all of our loyal listeners,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: of which we have many, And I want to thank
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: all you guys for listening because you've helped make this
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: a big success. And I am really really looking forward
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: to continuing on Sagimos. As they say, I took Spanish
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: for three years, but I still can only say about
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: seven words because I'm such a good student. Oh, I'm
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: reading this book about autism. What is it called a
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Man's Guide How to Be Human? I'm Man's Guide to
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Living with Autism? How to be Human? Yeah, Man's Guide
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: to Living with autism. Oh my god. It talks about
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: the brain, and it talks about like how you know,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: there were so many thousands of years where people didn't
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: know where our brain, Like they thought our heart was
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: the brain, or like the think tank of our body
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: or our liver, and like people didn't understand that the
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: brain and how you know, it was before science, so
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: nobody could even dissect anything or there's no biology like
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: in that way. So it's fascinating and how like autistic.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Like this guy sees grew of words like go get
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: me a glass of water doesn't connect in his mind,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: go get me a glass of water, like words lined
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: up in order don't make any sense to him. He's like,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't understand why you would even say that.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: So it's just interesting to see how the brain is different.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: It's like they're just kind of devoid of emotion, you know,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: which I think is a bonus. I mean it's direct,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: very directed to the point, and it's like, great, that's perfect.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: But this guy was like, listen, it's so hard to
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: be in your world. Like, imagine the world is built
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: for somebody else, everybody else but you, and you're in
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: this world and you want to be part of it,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: but like, you'll never ever be ordering off of the
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: same menu as everybody else. And he's like, to be
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: a member of society, I have to put the effort
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: forth even though I don't feel emotional, and he goes,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I understand what it means to be a member of society,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: and I would rather be a member of society than
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: not be. So I have to work twice as hard
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: to be able to communicate and express to people like hey,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: I might not react the way you want because I
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: have autism. That sounds exhausting for him, I know, I know, yeah, totally.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Well it's going to be changing because now they say,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: like one in four kids is autistic. Well I think
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: that makes a lot of sense because when we think
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: about growing up, and there was always kids that were
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: seemed slightly off or seemed like their social cues were off,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: and like, you know, I remember disregarding people like that,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: thinking like there was something wrong with them, and it's like, obviously,
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: now we know there's nothing wrong with them. But it's
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: really enlightening to learn about that stuff because I didn't
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: really understand autism. And this book is fucking awesome. Okay, sweetheart,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: what are we doing today? What's going on? Sweetheart? We
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: are We're talking about something that you have an abundance of. Well,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: people perceive that you have an abundant of this breast
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: milk confidence, and I would say that you are inherently confident.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Would you say that, sweetheart? From personal experience, I would.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I think that's something people put on me all the time.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: They think I have no fear, and then I'm super confident.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I'm like, where did I don't know where I left
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: that impression. No, see, I can separate those two. I
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: think that you have a reasonable amount of fear going
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: into some things, maybe it's a project or an event,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: but your confidence surpasses your fear. You are confident enough
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: to accept the fear and move forward, which other people aren't.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I think that's why people perceive you as being so
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: confident that you'll go into things, maybe blindly sometimes yeah, right,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I have the confidence in my ability to get through
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: it and to make it a positive experience. Yes, I do.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I do have that. I believe in myself. A lot
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: of people don't have that. A lot of people have
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: issues in so many aspects of their lives with their confidence,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: whether it be at work, at home, with their body.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: And so I think you're really I think you're gonna
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: have a lot to say for this episode. Yes, well,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: well that's what we're here for. We're here to build
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: people up, right. We want everybody to be a little
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: bit braver and a little bit more confident. I had
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: to say. I was seeing a patient earlier today on
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: the telephone. I was talking to a friend of mine
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: who was going through something difficult with her daughter, and
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: she really was a hot mess. And I spent about
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: an hour on the phone with her, like her voice
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: was shaking and and and there was such fragility in
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: her voice that I was I just I felt her
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: pain so much. And then by the time we got off,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: she was a little bit stronger and a little bit calmer,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: and I told her to do some serious deep breathing exercises.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: And so that's an example for me of people in
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: my life that don't have that confidence, and I just
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I wish I could just you know, you wish you
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: could just inject them. Yeah, I want to get injected
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: with a small syringe, but the syringes I used for
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: my peptides in the morning, and just give it to
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: people and be like, here's your confidence shot. You know,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: everyone has it in them, within them, they just have
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: to tap into it. But I think that you are
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: able to give that to them in a way just
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: by practicing what you preach, that you are able to
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: show them that confidence by doing what you say you're
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: going to do and by operating in a certain way
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: like that is powerful for people to see. And we've
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: heard it because people will call in and say that
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: that through your example, they've been able to find that
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: strength of that resilience or whatever. That is not tuting
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: your own horn. But I do think it's important that
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: people in our lives set those sort of examples, because
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: you really are able to kind of harness your own
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: confidence when you see it through someone else. Well. I
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: just did it also this morning when I was in
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Beverly Hills because I had to go to a dermatologist
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to talk about doing something to my under eyed skin
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: because it's so creepy. So there's some CEO two laser
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: you can do. And I was over there. I aunted
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: that to her full face and yeah, but it seems
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: like that's a big thing. Yeah, she it was sand
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: blest stuff. I will say. The recovery time was very
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: quick for her. That's what I need to talk to
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: you about. She told me I could make the recovery
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: time four days or two weeks. I'm like, that's like
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: when you go into a drug store and there's used
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: infection cure and it's like, you have a used infection.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: They're like, okay, here's monost at seven for seven days,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: and here's the one day. It's like, why the fuck
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: what I want to go on? That needs to be
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: a quick rapper days. Why wouldn't you take the fucking
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: one off? It's so stupid anyway, so we'll we'll talk
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: about that. I don't know. She said I should do
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: it to my upper eyes and lower eyes to make
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: the skin a little bit tighter there. But that not
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: my bravery story. That's just me, you know, being vain.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I left there and I was in Beverly Hills, which
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I really don't enjoy being in because it's just only
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: in the mornings. In the afternoons, there's just it's just
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: too much for me. Anyway, I thought, I'm so sick
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: of looking at my purse. This is my opportunity to
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: go to Neimans and get a new purse, because the
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: purse is something that I can't have another person buy
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: for me. So I I fucking hate shopping. I don't
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: do it. I don't want to do it, and there's
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: nothing of interest to be about it. I wish I
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: could say it interested me, just to appease some of
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: my friends who like to talk about that sort of thing.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: But I can't get into it. So but I said
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: to myself, I was like, you can't do this, like
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: you're an adult. You can go there. It's only ten thirty,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: it won't be crowded, like you know exactly where you go.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I always just go straight to the same brand that
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: I always buy, which is not worth mentioning. And I
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: go and I went in and I was like, this
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: is fine, this is fine. You have to go to
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: the bathroom by the time you give them the credit
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: card to do that transaction, which for some reason takes
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: an inordinate amount of time close to minutes to ring
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: up a purse. I'm not sure what. And then she
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: was wrapping, I was like, please, I just want to
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: put everything in my old purse in this purse, and
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: you can take this and throw it in the garbage.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: And I hope that's what she did, or maybe somebody
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: wanted it. I doubt it. It was so ugly and
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: beat up, but you did it anyway. That was my confidence.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I don't really think that applies to what we're talking about,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: but that was I needed to have the confidence that
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: I could go in as finish the task and accomplish
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: the task without being annoyed that I had to go
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: into You know, well, I would argue that it does
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: align with it because it's we've talked about this as well,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: that you have to do those little things that make
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: you uncomfortable because it's filling your confidence bank. Okay, well,
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: I think my confidence bank is pretty full, So let's
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: fill some other people's confidence banks. All right, Well, let's
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: start with Meg. She is thirty years old. She writes,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, one of the things I love about you
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: is how confident you come across. This is something i've
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: always struggled with so I've tried to become an nudist
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: in private to try and be more confident. I know
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: you sometimes post naked post on social media, so I
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: was wondering if you had any advice and if being
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: naked could help my confidence. Lots of love, Meg, Yeah,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I think so. I think there is something to being naked,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Hi Meg, or No, she's not okay. It's like, I
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: still don't understand what we're doing here. I know the
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: other day you exited off of our zoom that we
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: need for this because you just I thought that was
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: how you said goodbye. You just wanted to get get
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: it wrapped up. Yes, I think there is a lot
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: of confidence that comes with nudity and also accepting your flaws,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: right because I have cellulite, I have all the things
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: that like girls don't like to have, and then you
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: start to look at it and you're like, oh, this
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: is kind of part of my life. I mean, I
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: work out and I'm very vain and I'm into being
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: fit and all of that too. So but it's all
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: like a nice package, and there is something very liberating
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: about walking around nude and kind of like really loving
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: on yourself and loving your body because it's really the
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: only one you've got, so you might as well start
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: to enjoy it, right right. You know who does a
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: great job with this is Lizzo Yeah, and Ashley Graham. Yes, yeah.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I think that there needs to be more of that
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: because this is a good practice to put in place,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: because I think the more you see what you feel
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: as a flaw, the more normalized it becomes, so it's
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: not something that seems so out of place because your
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: clothes so often. So I guess the more you could
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: be nude to assess and accept your body as it is,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: the more confident you could become. Yes, agreed, absolutely. I
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: think also we tend to fixate sometimes on partions of
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: our body, like you have been doing with your lower
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: ab thing popping out. We fixate on things, and I
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: certainly do the same thing, and then all of a
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: sudden you get over it somehow. I used to fixate
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: on this, like I have this like tiny little dimple
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: on my arm, and I was psychotic about it. I
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: remember when I was like on Chelsea lately, like I'd
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: be like, can you see that dimple? Can you see
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: that dimple? I still have that dimple on my arm,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: but I don't even give a shit about it, and
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: more because I just got over it. So when you
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: are fixated on certain things in your body, it's good
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: to try to like push through to the other side
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: and accept it so that attention can go elsewhere towards
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: like positive vibes, towards yourself, rather than being like, oh,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: I fucking hate this part of my body. It's like,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: you're healthy, you're strong, and you're getting stronger. If you're
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: working towards, you know, getting stronger. Well, I think part
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: of that is also investing energy into the things that
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: you have or the things that you can enhance. So
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: like you have an insane amount of ab strength, you're
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: just a strong woman. Here we go, sweethearts, jealous of
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: my ab strength and this has always been it with you.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I just think that if you can re apply that
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: energy into other areas, Like for me, maybe my abs
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: are never going to be what I want them to be.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: But for whatever reason, my chest grows really quickly, and
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: I guess a lot of men have. I would like
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: my chest to be as big as yours, so I'll
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: keep working on that. But I think also it's just
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: reapplying that purpose and energy into something else, like, don't
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: focus and I'm you know, I'm saying this because I'm
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: working on this as well. Don't focus on the things
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: that your body is not doing for you, focus on
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: the things that it is doing. Yeah, there you go.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Problem solved. Thanks Meg. Okay, let's go to break for
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: a second so that we can gather and collect ourselves
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: and come back fuller and stronger and more voluptuous. Okay,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: what's our next submission, Brandon? Our next submission comes from
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Brittany Spears. We need to talk to her. Well, actually
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: we need to talk to like her dad says she
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: has dementia. He has fucking dementia. Fuck her father. Fuck
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Britney Spears father. Give her to her mother. If somebody's
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: gonna have a she's gonna have a conservator, let it
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: be her mother. She needs a maternal character. Yeah, seriously,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, she's got dementia. Maybe because people lobotomized her,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: could be probably rejected her with dementia? Is that? Poor girl?
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Poor girl? You know what, I don't want to have
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: a child, But if somebody said you have to take
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: care of Britney Spears, I fucking would and she probably
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: thrive under your way. Yeah, well, she would get all
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: the help she needs, and she would be allowed to
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: do what she wants when she wants, and figure out
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: a way for her to get back together with her children.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: She doesn't even see her children. There's a much different
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: priority in place now for younger stars and their mental health.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Like I think a lot of them are kind of
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: forced to see a therapist and forced to take time.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: They're not workhorses like she was. So it's really interesting
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: to see the Ariana Grande is a Demilovado's Taylor Swifts,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: who I think have a better foundation for kind of
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: a work life balance even though they seem to be
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: working all the Yeah, I mean, Justin Bieber kind of
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: lost his way. He didn't get at fifty put on
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: him and put in a mental hospital like this happens
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: to guys too, so sexist. On top of it, I
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: would love a man in charge of a girl. Thank
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: god he's stepping down, Good riddance, Thank you for listening. Well,
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not part of the free Brittney tribe,
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: even though I believe in the free Brittney tribe. So
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: thank thank God for the sitting period and on their
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: behalf and on Britney's behalf. Where were we, Brandon, We're
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: with Brittany. Brittany is out of Miami. She's twenty three.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: She's on the phone. Her submission says, Dear Chelsea, I've
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: always admired you because of your confidence. I'm very much
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: the same way when it comes to my personal life.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I have the confidence of a six eight m v
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: P n B. A player that's aboutful. The problem is,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: now that I am transitioning into adulthood, I realized that
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I don't have the same confidence in my professional life.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: I'm currently applying for grad school for film and video production.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I know it is a male dominated profession and I
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: shouldn't let that shake me, but it does. Any advice
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: for a young woman going into a male dominated industry,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Thanks Brittany. Brittany, Hi, hi, bt So tell us about
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: how do you feel like you're lacking confidence lately as
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: comparable to your previous life. Yeah. I think it's just
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: a mixture of being young and having no experience in
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: the field I want to go into and knowing that
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: like I'm a Latina woman going into this very male
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: doated industry. And so I find that a little nerve wracking,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I guess, even though like in my personal life, I've
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: always never let any of that shake me. Um. I know,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: even underestimated for being a woman, for being Latina, for
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: being all these things, but it's never gotten to me.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: And I think it's also the transition of going from
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: being a student my whole life to actually being a
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: professional adult. And so yeah, I think that's my main issue.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: And what light of work are you in? She's going
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: to grad school for film and video production, right, Okay, Well,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I would say right off the bat, you're in an
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: advantageous position right now. You're Latina. That's a good thing.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: That's a good thing. Everyone is being forced to recognize
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Latino X people when they're interviewing for jobs in a
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: way that they haven't been before. And that includes all
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: the men that you're intimidated by, So they actually should
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: be intimidated by you. So you just need to bring
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: it because you know what I mean, They are listening
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: and you have an advantage to go in there and
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: just knock their socks off. Sorry to use that expression,
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I sound like my father, but I couldn't think of
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: anything better. Sometimes I sound like I'm elderly, sweetheart. Well
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: you're entering that stage of life. I am transitioning into
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: an elderly woman. But anyway, Brittany, Yeah, you should have
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: all the confidence in the world because you have to
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: use this moment in time is unique for all marginalized communities.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: You have an advantage now, I know it. Probably I
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: can't say that across the board because a lot of
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: people are trying to implement that advantage. But you're going
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: to end up at a place that is actually serious
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: about making change in their company, and so you should
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: use that in accompaniment with your skills, with everything that
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: you're learning in school, like you're ready to hit a
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: home run. So I don't know what the problem is. Yeah,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: I think the mixture of the pressure of like, yeah,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: all that change is happening, and now I'm being thrown
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: in to that change and to be one of the
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: first Growing up, all I saw was especially in the
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: industry acting. I never even knew there's a hole behind
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: the scenes side of this career, and I didn't realize
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: that tool was older, and so all I knew was
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: the latina was the nanny, the maid, the gangster's girlfriend,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: and like how I was portrayed in that industry kind
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: of took me aback a bit, and so I was like,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: why is this something I want to go into? And
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: then I think now, like I have a chance to
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: make that difference, to be the person behind the scenes
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: to make that recognition, and I think the pressure of
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: that also might be Yeah, but what a great motivator.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: You're looking at it as pressure, where it's just such
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: a great boost you know what I mean, It's a
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: boost in like you're going to set the tone. Yeah,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: it's a huge responsibility, but go in there and make
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: every every Latina girl proud of you and paved the
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: way for them to follow in your footsteps. Huge opportunity here, Brandon. Yeah. Well,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and some people can perform and thrive under pressure, and
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: i've you're one of those people. I think so too.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I think you need to believe that you're one of
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: those people first, So you just need to accept that
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: for what it is. The pressure is not a bad thing.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: The pressure, like Chelsea said, is going to motivate you
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: to do your best to get the representation for the
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: community that you weren't fortunate enough to see. Like the
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: momentum is working in your favor right now. And I
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: don't know exactly what you want to do, but I
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: just want to tell you about someone that we both
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: work with. Her name is Darling Higgins, and she is
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: one of the most like respected people in her field.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: She works behind the scenes. She is Venezuelan. She is
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: a bad ass bitch, and she does not take she
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: does not take ship from anyone, and she is the
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: best at her job. Like people seek her out and
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: you don't know her, but like the example that she
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: sets for other women in the industry that you can
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: do anything you want to do and you can be
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: that for someone else. So that's what you need to remember,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: is that just because you've not seen it or you've
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: not had it, doesn't mean you're not going to be
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: that for someone else. So take that responsibility and run
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: with it, like you're going to thrive. Yes, you are
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: going to thrive. I aready know this. But the other
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: thing is yes to just piggyback on what Brandon said
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: is that when you don't have the strength for yourself,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: think about the girls that are going to come behind you,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: you know, think about having the strength for them, and
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: then it becomes so easy yeah, I mean that makes
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: a lot of sense. I've known this, like I know this,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: like this makes sense to me. I've always been this
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: way as a student and as a person in my
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: friend group, and I think now I need to transfer
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: that over to your professional life. Well, I think in
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: your youth too, We've talked about this. Everyone has a
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: misplaced amount of confidence. So now you just kind of
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: you just kind of have to reassess that and compartmentalize
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: it into what you're doing now. So you know that
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: you have that confidence within you, you you just need to
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: apply it as you move forward professionally. Like it's still there,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: It's still in you, it's inherent. So don't let it
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: fall to the waistide just because you're going into something
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: a little bit unknown, like, if anything, let it give
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: you the extra boosts that you need. M Yeah, you
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: just need to calibrate our previous confidence, which is more
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: of a naive confidence, right, your previous confidence with all
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: the skills that you're learning and the education that you've gotten,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: and combine those two things and then you have all
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: the tools that you need to power through this and
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: to you know, emerge victorious and to set a great
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: example along the way like, it's so much to look
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: forward to. I'm excited for you. Thank you. Please keep
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: us posted, let us know how it goes. Yeah for sure,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I'll be starting in the fall. So so where are
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: you starting? Do you know what? Like? Well, grad school
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: you're starting? Yeah, yeah, okay, Well that's gonna be fun too,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: grad school. Good for you. Congratulations, thank you, thank you, Brittany,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. Brittany. Oh god, I look
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: like Nicknolty again. Um yes, actually, oh my god, it's
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: so funny you say that because I was driving this
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: morning and I was like, God, I'd like to go
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: take some classes at college. You should find out. But
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: I would actually ever go. But why not? Because I
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: don't want to be in a classroom with a bunch
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: of people. I don't know why. You love people, I know,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: but I just don't. I don't want that kind of attention.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: I think you should have that sort of life experience.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: I think that it would mean a lot to you
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: want to send me away to college, Sweeter. I just
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: think it would mean a lot to you to be
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: able to go and get an education, because you are.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: You are so self educated that I really do think
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: that even if you do it later in life. Like
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: there was this woman. I think she went to a
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: s U I can't remember, but she was one and
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: she graduated with her granddaughter. Maybe we could go back
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: to school together. Maybe I should grit well, I first
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: of all, if I'm going to have a granddaughter, I
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: need to have a daughter first. And if I'm going
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: to graduate from college with my granddaughter, I think it's
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: a little light. Well, no, we still have time. Okay, listen,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: the doctor said, my eggs are really strong or whatever
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: they are. I don't know how many eggs I have,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: but apparently they're swimming fast or is that sperm that spermops?
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: So if I have baby now forty six, okay, forty
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I would have to get pregnant, and then the pregnancy
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: would have to take, which it will because it's so
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: fucking fertile. Okay, so then I have a baby plus
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: eighteen equals sixty six. If I have a baby and
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I can engineer it to be a girl, forced her
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: to have another baby by the time I'm sixty five,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I can have a granddaughter and then another eighteen years. Okay,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to have my daughter have a baby
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: earlier than well. I think that you we could skip
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: a few of these steps. You adopt like a latent
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: life foster, like Britney spears. Yes, perfect. She already has kids,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: so you congraduate with one of her kids, with Preston.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: She has one named Preston. I know that for say,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: great problem solved. Okay, I've called into the podcast. You
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: still can. Our next mission comes from Melissa. She's forty
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: six out of Toronto. She is a travel radio host.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: A travel radio host, I wonder if that means that
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: she traveled or her radio shows about travel. We'll find out.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Her question is, Dear Chelsea, I was caught between the
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: working world and all of its perks and saying scrutous
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: city life and living closer to the outdoors, making less
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: money and throwing caution to the wind. We are the
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: same age. I'm ready for a change. I love to travel,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: I love adventures. I have multiple talents that I use
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: in my non financial passion projects as a writer, podcaster,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: and interviewer. But I haven't figured out my entrepreneurial angle
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: that will enable me to give the big middle finger
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: to corporate life. What do I do? Do we have
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Melissa yeah, Hi, Hi, how's it going. It's going. How's
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: it going with you? I am not too bad? That
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: is always a good sign, right. So are you in Canada? Yes,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: I'm in Toronto, Okay. And you have a traveling radio show?
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: What does that mean? So about five years ago I
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: started a show called Fly Travel Radio. So it's on
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: a community radio station, but it's also a podcast. So
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I'm basically a un woman operation. I created it. I'm
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: the host, interviewer, editor, all the above, all of it.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: So that's my passion project. On the side, though in
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: my nine to five I work at a university, so
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I'm in like project event program management and like the
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: golden handcuff job. Right, So you have good pay, good benefits,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: good perks, but it's not fulfilling your soul or your
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: destiny or anything like that. So it gets to be
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: a hard time, right when you're like, do you stay
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: for the security or do you create your own path
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: and bolt and just like find your own freedom. And
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: I talk a lot in my show. I meet all
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: these people who have done that, Right, They've left like
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: traditional nine to fives and they have location independent businesses.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: So if you wanted to go and live in Costa
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Rica for three months. You can go and do that
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: if your laptop is with you, or live in a
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: ski town for a winter. Right. It's like that freedom
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: and that ability to control your own life. Right. So
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: a couple of questions, Are you in a relationship? Yes?
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I am, okay, So what does that mean to you?
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Does that something you're willing to give up and leave
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: or are you willing are is that person coming with you? No,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: he would come with me. He's also pursuing voice work
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: and he's a huge traveler as well, so that we
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: share together. Oh well, that's even better. That's a fun
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: time for an adventure. You have a couple, like somebody
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: you want to do it with that feels like yeah.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm all about taking a leap of faith.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: So I would encourage anyone to just, you know, be
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: able to go out and see the world. You could
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: do your one man operation, your one woman operation from wherever, right,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: you can do your podcast and radio show from wherever
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: you are in the world. Absolutely, it's just it's an
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: all volunteer, right. So it's more that I have to
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: create a business that's uh lucrative where there's some cash
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: because you know, right, so you have to go somewhere
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: and find another job and you don't really know what
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: you want to do, right, Actually, you know what I'm
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of things, like I'm I can write,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: like an interview, I am good at people manage, minute,
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: project management. There's a lot of things in my wheelhouse.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I just have to figure out how to monetize it.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: And uh, yeah, like when you're forty six, right, you
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: have this it's a dividing line where you're like, do
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: you bolt or do you just suck it up for
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: a few more years? But I'm pretty sure it's you know,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: life is short and there's always a chapter for new
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: a new way to live. So that's where we're at. Yeah,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: that's the right attitude. I think that's my attitude. I
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: don't want to suck anything up, you know what I mean?
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I really just don't. I don't want to. And if
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: you have the ability to not do it, you have
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: money saved where you could go somewhere and like, like,
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: could you bounce around the world for three or six
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: months and find a place that you really like and
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: then worry about getting a job. Do you have that
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: that kind of savings or no, yeah, yeah, I do yeah, yeah, son,
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I think you have your answer. I mean you need
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: to get after it. It's true, it's true. What do
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: you think. I think you need to embrace the unknown.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: I think that this last year has really shown a
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: lot of people that time is of the essence, Like
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: you have to get out and do the things you
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: want to do now because we don't know what's coming.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: And there are a lot of options for online work
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: right now that you can just contract in for. Like
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: there's I keep seeing this website for people to type
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: out closed captioning because everyone is in need of close
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: captioning now for inclusivity. And you get paid by the words.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: So some people are making like fi per post that
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: they close caption so there, yeah, there. They will send you,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: they will send you the video and you have to
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: transcribe it. So I just think that there are a
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: lot of ways now to make money remotely. You can
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: work for Apple remotely. You can do the Apple care services.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I used to work for Apple, so I know that,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: and they pay great and you can kind of set
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: your hours for that. So again, if it's just about
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: getting out and having your own schedule and being on
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: your own time. There are a lot of ways to
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: do that now. Yeah, yeah, I would agree. I think
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: quarantine and COVID have have Broughten all Broughten I just said,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: I said, Broughten, don't do the transcribing. Yeah, maybe I
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: won't do the transcribing. I mean here I am a
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: regular words smith, constantly sucking up my words. Yeah, I
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: mean there are that it's been brought to light that
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: you can now pretty much do almost everything from home,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: you know. I mean so many more places and companies
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: that are opening up to this, and there are so
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: many little loopholes. For example, in Costa Rica, they just
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: passed legislation to attract more digital nomads. They change the
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: law so you wouldn't have to renew your tourist visa
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: for your year, with the option of renewing for a
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: second year versus every three months. So now you'll also
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: be able to legally drive using your driver's license from
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: your own country and open a bank account in Costa Rica,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: which is pretty great. So there's no shortage of opportunities.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: It's just about finding the right opportunities. It's kind of
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: analogous to getting scholarships at schools, like there's all these
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: ins and outs for every university to get funding or
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: to get help with scholarships or housing money like you know,
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: and there are people who specialize in telling students, oh,
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: this is how you can save money. Here, you can
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: get this loan. People just don't know how to use
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: lies all those services. I was just having a conversation
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: with somebody yesterday and she's like, oh my god, you
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: can almost get everything paid for. You just have to
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: have somebody who knows their way around it. But I
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: think that applies to so many things in life. There
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: are so many avenues to get revenue and ways to
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: accrue revenue that you don't even know about just yet.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: So if you did spend some time researching that, I'm
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: sure you'd come up with something that kind of fits
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: your skill set well. It's also it's also not permanent,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: so like just as if you wanted to go away
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: for three or six months, even a year, if you
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: have the means to do that, you can always go back.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Like you're obviously articulate and skilled in your field, so
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: I don't think you have a problem getting a job back.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: But if you don't ever take the step to kind
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: of put yourself out of your comfort zone. You're gonna wonder.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: So absolutely totally. The other thing that goes with this
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: is that you're pregnant. Yeah, totally forty six loving it. No,
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm trying to get pregnant right now. It's
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: not easy my thoughts. Yeah, I have organize this year
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: off with my employer. Right, But if you do that,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: it's like I get out of jail free card for
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: a year because you can go, but you have to
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: come back to like this job. So this is like
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: also part of the dilemma where I'm just like, yeah,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: I'm done. Yeah, well I think that's your answer. You're done, right,
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: you know your answer? I do. Yeah. Well, it seems
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: like you solved your own issue. Well it was really helpful.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much. Okay, thanks talking to you. Yeah
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: you too. Take care. Another problem solved, sweetheart. People just
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: want to be transients. That's what I've realized. Everyone is
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: searching for a way to not have a normal job.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, it's just so nice to have freedom,
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: you know, to have be free. Like even my sister
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: she works all day long on zooms one zoom and
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: then another's room, and it's all about healthcare and like biotech,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: and I mean, I don't know how she does it,
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: and you know she takes her job seriously. Obviously I don't,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: but you know, she could basically do it from anywhere.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: But now they're talking about everyone going back into the office,
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: so now she's like, I've got to go everywhere I
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: could go now before they're requiring us to be back,
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: so she can do it from wherever. I don't know.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know why people are doing that, but I
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: guess there is something to be said, obviously for socializing
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: and having a network of people in an office working
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: towards the same goal or a common goal. And you know,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: there is a camaraderie in that. You can't deny that,
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: but it should be up to the individual if they
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: want to be involved in that kind of chicanery, because
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: a lot of people don't want to be around other people.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: I wonder how that will work with television is the
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: way of the future. I mean, I feel like they
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: got so good at producing things remotely that there's not
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: really Like Drew Barrymore her show, they basically teleport guests
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: in so people don't you have to show up anywhere,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: and it looks great. Yeah, it looks like you're sitting
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: right next to her. I think I did it, didn't
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I it was zoom yours was a zoom but you
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: had the option. It didn't work out. But yeah, it
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: seems like there are going to be a lot of
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: ways to get people so working together remotely. There is
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: a platform where they set up an artificial office space
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: and you can click on people's rooms like you're walking
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: into their office and it will start their camera. Like
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: you have to allow for that to happen, but you
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: set certain office hours so you know people are there
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: working as a team. And you can use this online
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: grid too immediately contact people like as if you were
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: just walking right through the door. Oh that's so cool,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: they're there. Do that with my bell at the house
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: so that you don't have to see her, No, so
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: that she doesn't have to see me. Well, she would
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: love that, I know. That's what I'm trying to do
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: is help her enjoy herself more without me there. She
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: sees me and she's just like fuck. So what do
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: you think about Ellen showing? Do you think it's time
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: just as just as a creative person that like you
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: hit your mark with Chelsea lately and then you could
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: not do it anymore. No, no, but I have a
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: short I have a very short tolerance attention doing it
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: almost twenty years. Yeah, yeah, no, it's time. I mean,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: anytime you end something, then that's the time it should
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: end well. And you said recently that you would possibly
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: be interested in going back into interviewing people. You want
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: me to be Ellen's replacement, I would love if you.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I think that should go to a woman of color,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: quite honestly. Well, I love your interview style and I
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: think a lot of people do and miss it. Sweetheart,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: you're all over me today. Oh my god, you forget.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: I was a fan first, and sometimes that comes out.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: But now you think that you could do it again,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: you could stumps And I don't know. I don't know.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I say things and I don't know, and necessarily if
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I've thought things through, I mean, yeah, I would be
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: open to a conversation about hosting a TV show again.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: But I know what my limits are, and I know
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: what my attention span is, and I'm not going to
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: be tied to onto a short, yes short, and I'm
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: not gonna be tied down to being in a studio
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: five days a week like that wouldn't be my cup
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: of tea. I don't want to go to through that again.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: And I don't like having a staff of a hundred people.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: So like when I hosted Ellen's show, which it was
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: a great time, but that's because it was I walking
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: into a well oiled machine. Everything was set up for you.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: It's not building the show. There's no sense of responsibility
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: other than the episodes im on, you know, like it
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: comes with a whole package, so it is a deeper,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: more thoughtful I would have to really think about that.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: But anyway, that show, specifically, if they're going to keep it,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: should go to a black or Asian or Latino woman.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: You heard it here first, you guys. That out of
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: the way, Okay, So we are going to take a
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: break right now and gather our emotions and you come
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: back and we're gonna be fresher, fresh as a daisy.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: That's me. Bye. Today's episode I think is about confidence, right,
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: It's it's about keeping confidence, keeping someone's confidence, or it's
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: about having confidence. So it's kind of like a twofold episode.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Well twofold meaning I should say it's not a twofold episode.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what I'm talking about, but keeping
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: someone's confidence and having someone's confidence, those even are nuanced,
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: and then also being confident. And I like the subject
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: of discussion because I think it's really contagious when people
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: understand how to instill their own self confidence and keeping
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: someone's confidence. I don't know how I would rate my
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: performance on that. I try and keep secrets. I mean,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty good about it. I try not to tell
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: secrets other people's secrets. Confidence is a subject matter that
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: I always love to talk about because I just think
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: it's so important and obviously it makes a difference in
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: your life because when you are confident, people respect that
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: and they understand that, and like, you know, you set
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: a different set of parameters for people to deal with you.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: So it's in everybody's best interest to figure out ways
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: to kind of, you know, talk yourself up to yourself,
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: all right. Our final submission comes oh to Double Duo.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: It is Ashley and Courtney. They write they are not
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: on the phone, Dear Chelsea, My girlfriend and I are
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: trying to resolve the sexual tension between one of our
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: best friends and one of our new friends who also
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: happens to be her roommate. Okay, so this is gonna
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: be some We're going to pieces together. Maybe I'm going
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: to start drawing a picture. Our best friend is afraid
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: to tell her of her deep love because she doesn't
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: want to ruin their friendship, but we secretly want them
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: to be together and truly cannot stand the tension. It's
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: slightly complicated because the new friend slash roommate is casually
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: sleeping with someone but has been clear that they aren't exclusive,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: and also keeps trying to hold onto our best friend's hand.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Should we spill the secret during a drunken night to
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: get it over with? We need help? Yeah, I totally
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: get it out. You guys have to go tell that girl,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: the one that she has a crush on. You have
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: to find out is she into it, is she down
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: with her? Is she interested in her? And if she is, like,
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: let's get a move on. So, as friends, go help
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: your one friend out, go to the other girl, the roommate,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: and figure it out. And if she's down, then don't
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: get it twisted. So that was easy. That that was
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: really in your wheelhouse today. Set hurt sometimes people. I
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: think this is how I feel about friendship. I feel like,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: you want to take the liberty to go out of
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: your way to help your friends succeed. So all friends
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: should be that kind of friend. I know some people
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: aren't like that. They're like, oh, I don't want to overstep.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: It's like no, no, no, there's no such thing when
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: you're trying to help somebody achieve something like my friend
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: and Whistler worked very, very very hard to get me penetrated.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: She was like, you will not leave Whistler this winter
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: until you get penetrated. And I was like, thank you.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I really appreciate your efforts on my behalf.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: You know. She she would just to take no for
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: an answer, and every guy that she presented, if I
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: didn't like him, She's like, Okay, no problem, I'll find
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: someone else. I'll find someone else. And then finally she
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: did find somebody that I was able to be penetrated
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: by a few times. So that to me was such
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: a display. Talk about the marble jar, right, talk about
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: putting marbles in the marble jar and saying, oh wow,
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: that friend went out of her way for me to
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: a degree that I haven't had a friend do that
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: for me in a really long time. And I was
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: really appreciative of that. So we've talked about the marble
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: jar before, but I love it. It's burn A Brown
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: wrote about it or spoke about it first. How friendship
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: is a marble jar and how people add to the
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: marble jar with every act of kindness or love or
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: reliability or whatever you know you value in your friendships.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: Every time they do something or you have a great time,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: there's more marbles. And anytime they do something that you
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: don't like, a marble gets taken out. But if you
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: have a great friendship, there are so many marbles in
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: the jar that nothing can break that you're never going
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: to be low marble's it's like laying a foundation, basically,
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: And I love it because it's so true and so
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: many of my relationships, Like you don't leave a relationship
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: when the marble jar is full anyway, that's the marble jar.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: So you know that makes me also want to go
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: out of my way for her. But I think she
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: has a husband, so it probably won't be penetration, right,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: but I can go out of my way for her
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: in other ways. And but that to me is a real,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: real true friend. People like to make things way more
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: complicated than they need to be I've realized through some
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: of these emissions like that to me seemed very simple.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: You go to and you don't have to be drunk.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: You go to your friends, say this is what's going on,
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: just like full transparency, so you can set reasonable expectations
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: for yourself. Don't let her go into these things unknowingly,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: you know, interacting when you're aware of a circumstance. And
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: also even if it turns into a messy situation. It
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: sounds like they're younger, right, probably, Yeah, even if it
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: turns into a messier situation like okay, so they hook
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: up and then it ends badly, that's what your twenties are.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: Four fucked living arrangements. I mean, I've supped with roommates
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: before and it hasn't ended well, Like it's all kind
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: of part of it. So it's not like there's huge steaks.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I guess apartments do sound like the huge steaks. But
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: I would say that's no fun. It's fun to you know, experiment,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: especially with your roommates, and yeah, go for it. Well
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: that's convenience right there. Yeah, that is convenience because you
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: imagine in a success story like the Good if it
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: doesn't work out, that sucks. But if it does work out,
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: that's awesome. Yeah, you can send them back to their
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: room after getting penetrated. That seems nice. The moral of
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: the episode is that everybody needs to tell themselves something
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: good about yourselves every fucking morning when you wake up,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: and then keep repeating that. If you like your eyelashes,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: start there. If you like your hair, your ears, your
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: boobs or your arm, whatever it is, your personality. I said,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: all physical things, that's terrible. I mean, if you like
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: your ability to remember name, that's a good one. Things
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: that people like, If you have an ability to make
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: people laugh, right, or if you are somebody who is
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: really really loyal, you know, focus on that. Just everybody
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: needs to remember that they're valuable and that they're unique,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: and that there is no one else on this earth
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: that is exactly like you. So bring it. And that's
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: all I have to say about that. Okay, I've made
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: my opinions and declarations loud clear, and I'm sick of them.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: As our season finale wraps up today, in this episode,
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling large amounts of gratitude for this unexpected podcast
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: for me, because I didn't really set out for it
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: to be serious. As serious as it is, I hope
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: that it's funny to all of you people as well,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: because I do want to make you laugh. But I
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: thought it would be more funny and less serious, and
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: it's become more serious. So I am really like pleasantly
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: surprised by that and not disappointed at all. It's like
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: totally unexpected for me to go in that direction. And
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I just love the challenge and I love really having
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: this connection with people because I really have seen so
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: many people just kind of trust me, and I want
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: you to know, like I do have your back, That's
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing I And I'm so grateful that people
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: are taking our advice and also doubling back with us
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: to recheck in is so meaningful because we have a
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: measurable stick of progress. And also for all of our callers,
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: I just want to remind you that if you've called
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: in and we've helped you, please follow up with us.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: I love to hear follow up calls. I love to
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: hear progress reports, see how you're doing. If you guys
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: don't remember, Shane was one of our follow up callers
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: who called back who had taken a week off of
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: smoking or a month off of smoking pot with me.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: We both did it together, and then he came out
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: to his family as trans and his whole life is
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: different now. So we want to hear from you about
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: the progress that you've made. And when I said keep
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: in touch, I mean in it. So we will be
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: coming right back with season two. We will not leave
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: you hanging. We will be dropping little nuggets for you,
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: so look out for them please. And Brandon is moving
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: on to a new job and so he will no
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: longer be with us, but I want to thank him
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: very much for helping to get this podcast off the
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: ground and starting it with such a bang. I'm going
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: to have a variety of different co hosts come in,
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: people who are experts in certain fields and friends of mine,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: and I look forward to keeping this podcast going. Um
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: loving it you guys, So thank you so much to
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: all of our listeners. And I hope you keep listening
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: and that you spread the word and you spread the
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: good vibes and that we all know that everybody's always
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: dealing with something, so just try not to be an asshole. Goodbye,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: have a great day. If you want any assistance with
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: your partner, your best friend, really anything you can write into.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Dear a Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: Project at gmail dot com. Also, I am on tour.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: You can buy tickets a ticket Master for my shows
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: and I can't fucking wait. It's called vaccinated and a horny,
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: So make sure that you bring your vaccinations and your
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: horny nows and then keep them to yourself, please,