Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 34 - The Important Role of Parents in Educational Success (Part 1 of 2) // Dr. Kathy Koch

Transcript

Ep. 34 - The Important Role of Parents in Educational Success (Part 1 of 2) // Dr. Kathy Koch · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Dr. Kathy Koch: Believe we were created to live an abundant life. So the more that your children can embrace all aid in themselves and in others, the greater the joy factor, the greater the hope, the greater the the purpose they'll find. Some of our smarts are maybe more important in school. Others may be more important in life, but we absolutely have to say different isn't wrong, different is different.
• 0:20
  Christy-Faith: Welcome to the Christy-Faith Show, where we share game changing ideas with intentional parents like you. I'm your host, Christy Faith, experienced educational adviser and homeschool enthusiast. Together, we'll explore ways to enrich and transform both your life and the lives of your children. Is your child struggling with attention, memory, reading, writing, or math? If you're experiencing this, you know how heart wrenching it is to watch them face these hurdles.
• 0:49
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• 1:25
  Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Christy Faith Show podcast where yet again, we are gonna have a fantastic episode where we are bringing you game changing ideas to transform both your life and the lives of your children. I am thrilled to have doctor Cathy Cook here today, an intellectual in our space. She has written so many books.
• 1:47
  And today, we're gonna cover as much as we can so you have an introduction to who she is, what she does, and how she can help you both on an abstract level, but also in a on a granular level with the day to day of your homeschooling. And I am so excited to hear from her today how we can get to know our kids more, connect with them more, and understand each of them so that we can tailor our homeschooling to their specific needs and desires, all in the spirit of deep connection with our kiddos. Thank you for being on the show today, doctor Cathy Cook. Would you please start the show out with telling us a little bit about your background?
• 2:31
  Dr. Kathy Koch: Well, first of all, Christy, I'm delighted to be here. Really happy for the invitation. Looking forward to our conversation. I have a lot of respect for you, so I bet you're going to have some great questions. And it's always fun to be in front of a new audience, And I've not been on your show before, so this will be great.
• 2:44
  I am been a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ since I was 19 years old. So what I do comes from a faith perspective, and like you, respect so many people who haven't yet made that choice, which is fine, of course. And I'm a former teacher of 2nd graders, a former middle school, high school coach, a former school board member of a Christian school, former university professor. Each of those things I thought I would do forever, but 33 years ago, believe it or not, I moved from Green Bay, Wisconsin where I was a professor to Fort Worth, Texas to establish this ministry called Celebrate Kids. And now I get to be a speaker and an author and podcaster myself and just like you love influencing people.
• 3:21
  Like, we're so privileged to be in this space.
• 3:24
  Christy-Faith: Yeah. And it's I don't know about you, but it also is a heavy weight. I take the responsibility very seriously and and thoughtful. I am thoughtful about everything, maybe over obsessing, but it's an honor to be in a position to be able to inspire and help homeschool families. But most of all, I think my role you and I are very complimentary because my role is very much convincing mama of what she already has and that she has enough.
• 3:54
  She can do this. In fact, there's no better person on the planet than her to educate and raise her own children and you come alongside us with solid research to help us figure out how to do this in the best way. I want to talk a little bit first about your book, How Am I Smart? It is a book that I recommend every homeschooling family gives their junior hire. I've mentioned this to you before at a dinner.
• 4:23
  I said, My son this was assigned reading in in our homeschool this year. And you had mentioned to me that that you get that feedback a lot that parents are assigning and asking their kids or reading to their kids your books in their homeschools. Would you share a little bit about your research and your work? You have a lot of books. I want to talk about 8th Great Smarts and the How Am I Smart, the multiple intelligences.
• 4:50
  Would you just give us an overview of your research?
• 4:53
  Dr. Kathy Koch: I'd love to. So the new book is 8 Great Smarts. Nobody should buy How Am I Smart anymore, Christy. In fact, I'm not sure it's available. So I want your listeners to know that that that's the original book.
• 5:05
  And then because sales were good and I had new ideas, we upgraded it to a great smarts. And so this is the more current of the 2 books and one that I think your listeners will really appreciate. The researcher of this model is a gentleman named doctor Howard Gardner, and he's at Harvard University. He's a psychologist. And like you and me, he was fascinated by children and adults and how they're different and began to look at MRI research and a variety of things and discovered through his work that there are 8 different smarts.
• 5:35
  So these are not interests. These are not abilities. These are smarts. If we took an MRI of anyone's brain while they were doing different tasks, we would see that there's 8 different, parts of the brain that light up, if you will, and are active when we do different things. So what I'm fascinated by is that moms and and first of all, let me say that you're exactly right, Christy, about we're perfectly imperfect parents for perfectly imperfect children.
• 6:02
  You are assigned to your children by your creator, whether it be through fostering, adopting, or birth, you will you will always be their best teacher because you'll love them more than anyone else ever will. And so on your best day, you're the best teacher. On your worst day, you're their best teacher, and and this is what you need to, you know, probably put in your journal and and rehearse that. Maybe that's your handwriting practice for Monday. You know, I am my child's best teacher even on my worst day.
• 6:28
  Because we will have hard days because, you know, people are complex and children take advantage of the unconditional love that we have for them. And I think sometimes they make it hardest for moms and dads to love them on certain days. And so that's a whole another episode probably, but we all have age smarts when we identify our children's smarts, and you can do that in a variety of ways, then you can teach them most effectively. You might have one child who's very good at word smart. They think with words, and so reading and spelling and writing are not hard.
• 6:58
  You might have a child that doesn't have a lot of brain cells in that space, and so you have to teach them differently. And we can talk about that today. So WordSmart, we think with words. Logics, we think with questions. These are the kids that probably enjoy math and science the most.
• 7:13
  They love to discover truth. And then we we're also picture smart, and these are the kids who think with their eyes in visuals. They're creative. They remember what they see. Music smart.
• 7:22
  When we're in the music smart part of our brain, we think with rhythms and melodies. So if you have a child who plays with the glockenspiel every time she goes to the church nursery, she's a music smart kid. I used to play about 20 instruments. I went to the university I went to to march in the band. Those are true stories, and so that was awakened early in me by my music smart parents, and, the rest is history.
• 7:43
  And they were also body smart, and these are the kids who think with movement and touch. So you tell them all day, sit down, sit down, sit down, put that down, look at me. And these are the kids who are gonna change the world through movement and touch and action, athletic stance, drumming. Even being able to pour less milk and not spill it would be a part of being body smart. Nature smart kids think with patterns, they love being outside, they'll do better with, science units that are about plants and animals and rocks and minerals than they do with lessons that are more of a chemistry or physics background.
• 8:14
  So that's interesting to think about. And then the last 2 that are super important are people smart. And, Christy, being people smart is what you and I are doing right now. People smart people think with other people. We don't know what we know until we hear ourselves say it and someone responds to it.
• 8:29
  So these are children who talk all the time but need an audience. Word smart children talk all the time, but they love their own voice. They don't necessarily need you to pay attention to them. But people smart people are good at collaborating and networking and small groups, and they can read body language really well. So these are very, very important skills.
• 8:46
  In fact, I think that might be the most important smart of all. And then self smart kids, all of us, again, have all 8. When you're in the self smart part of your brain, you think deeply inside of yourself, and you crave quiet, peace, privacy, and space. So they need they need quiet. So if you have a busy, loud home, these kids are gonna crave their bedroom for a 10 minute break, you know, before they begin something new, perhaps.
• 9:09
  Maybe you've seen that with your kids. Sometimes they're slower to answer, even easy questions, because they're thinking deeply inside of themselves. And they they're the ones, actually, Christy, who tell me they don't feel smart because the questions seem to require more cognitive thought than you would expect them to. So those are the 8. We have all 8.
• 9:28
  When you figure it out, you'll have more joy, I think, with your kids.
• 9:32
  Christy-Faith: I love that. Hey. This is a side note, and I'm sorry I'm gonna throw you a curveball here. How does this play into Myers Briggs? I'm just I'm so curious because what I was hearing is, okay, I'm hearing introverted, extroverted, things like that.
• 9:47
  I'd love to hear from you your your take on the Myers Briggs and how this plays into it.
• 9:51
  Dr. Kathy Koch: Yeah. It's a really good question. So introverted, like I'm introverted. Introverted people get their energy when they're alone. Extroverted people get their energy from other people.
• 10:01
  The smarter how we think. So as an example, I'm people smart. I think with other people. That's why I enjoy podcasting and dinner out with a friend, and it's actually one of the reasons I enjoy public speaking because there's so much interaction that you can have, even with the eye contact from your crowd. So people smart think with people.
• 10:19
  Sales smart people think alone. You can be an introverted where you get your energy alone, and self smart you think alone. If that's your combination, you need to be alone. And if you're a mom of 4, you need to drive the long way home from the store. You need I'm in fact, I I love to ask moms, how many of you wake up early to have quiet time?
• 10:37
  How many of you stay up late to have that alone time? That's especially important that introverted self smart moms feed themselves that quiet and that space that they need. An extroverted person who gets energy from people, who's also people smart, who thinks with people, will absolutely need people. If this is your story, you crave adults. Now you love your kids, and you can have a conversation with a 7 year old and a 17 year old.
• 11:02
  But if you were designed to be a people smart collaborator, then I bet you really enjoy, a small group, you know, dinner out with your husband, a coffee with a good friend. And what a lot of us have, Christy, is the the cross combination, Whereas an example, I am more people smart than self smart, and I'm introverted. I can confuse people because I appear to be energized by people, but I'm actually energized when I'm alone. And so I need to make sure that I take care of myself. And if I confuse people and and they look at me like like I need therapy because I seem to be, you know, bouncing back and forth, then I just need to defend myself.
• 11:39
  I do address that in those two chapters in the newer version of the book.
• 11:43
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• 12:13
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• 12:38
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• 13:12
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• 14:02
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• 14:15
  Yes. That's so funny because people are very surprised to learn that I am a extremely strong introvert, but I'm an introvert that really loves people. And part of it is and I hate going to parties. I don't like small group studies. I don't like any of that.
• 14:36
  However, when I'm on office hours in Thrive Homeschool Community and even when there's 30, 40, 50 women in there but we're talking about incredible ideas and I see hearts being transformed in there and I'm learning as well how to be a better leader and just learning from the group. I get energy from that as well. And so, people are very surprised to hear that even though I enjoyed that zoom and I was in the moment and I loved being there, I literally have to put on sweatpants and have a recovery day after my and what I've learned with my own self is that I have Zoom days. Like today with you is a Zoom day. Tomorrow's a nothing day because I'm doing people all day today and that's just and it's so funny that you're describing, you know, I have any raise your hand, mamas, if you're listening.
• 15:27
  If you do take the long way home from the grocery store and you maybe you even pull over just in time that the ice cream doesn't melt, you can get home and take that break. I wanna ask you, what how do you see the role of recognizing and affirming a child's smarts impacting their confidence and learning.
• 15:48
  Dr. Kathy Koch: Yeah. It's huge. When when we stop telling our kids that they're good, but we tell them that why they're good, like, you were created to be logic smart. You are so good at thinking things through. Or, man, you're good at cause effect thinking.
• 16:01
  Or a child at a young age who can draw a daisy really well and you said, man, you're picture smart. You know, God created you this way. It's a it's a life changer. I'm even young adults who I work with who don't know how they're smart will say to me that they moved from, you know, I think I might be successful, to this ability to believe that I could be really successful because I'm talented. And the smarts are not just academic truth.
• 16:23
  It's not just that I can learn and therefore succeed in school. It's how I succeed in all of life. It's how I develop servant. It's how I develop, you know, skills and talents. It's really important for friendship.
• 16:34
  Because if I want to get to know somebody who's nature smart, like, let's say I observe them and I know they love the out of doors, they love getting dirty, they know the difference between a frog and a toad, and I know they're nature smart, and I wanna get to know them. I go with I go to a park with them. I go on a walk. I don't sit in a dark den and try to have a conversation with them. So it helps their confidence relationally, helps their confidence with school.
• 16:57
  Here's a quick example. Nature's smart kids think with patterns, and so that's how they know a bluebird isn't a blue jay. I think I skipped nature smart in our dialogue before actually. Nature smart kids think with patterns. They know a blue jay isn't a blue bird because they remember where the blue goes on the body of the bird or the wing, which I think is amazing well was and saw is a pattern right B and D is a pattern 6 and 9 is a pattern h20 is a pattern And so if you have a child who struggles with spelling because maybe WordSmart isn't their greatest strength, but you know that they have some nature smart ability and they think with patterns when they're out of doors, you can bring that part of the brain aligned with WordSmart, and they're gonna have an easier time.
• 17:39
  And you what you do as a mom, you simply say, Josiah, look for the pattern in the letters. What pattern do you see? And the NatureSmart is activated by the word pattern, and now they're gonna have more success.
• 17:51
  Christy-Faith: That's incredible. And hey, so as you were talking, I was thinking, well, no wonder she's a homeschool advocate. I would like to just press play on you for just a minute, and you can have a little soapbox because I am starting to connect the dots on why you are an advocate for homeschooling. Would you take a moment to encourage homeschool moms who have those moments of self doubt? Oh, what if I did just put them back in the system?
• 18:21
  I I think what your research shows is that the system does things one way, and it is not a fit for a lot of learners. Would you please speak to the structure of the system and why that's not a fit for so many children?
• 18:37
  Dr. Kathy Koch: Yeah. I would love to do that, and that is a reason I'm an advocate. So I'm a I'm a product of the public school. I taught children in the public school system, was a professor at a secular university, and I care deeply because about 90% of our kids are still there. So we I don't think we can abandon the system.
• 18:54
  However, you're exactly right, Christy, that the the school system, the send them off to school, sit in a desk system is word and logic. The majority of their day is spent reading, writing, speaking, listening, asking, and answering questions. Reading, spelling, math, and science, you know, are the they're really the the value of the day, if you will. But there are many children who were created to not have strengths in those areas, but they have strengths with picture and music and body and nature and people itself. And they die in that system.
• 19:23
  And so we need to pull them, and we need to now we we find the best curriculum, and we find the best methods, and we increase the skills that are weak, and we use the skills that are strong to do that. And it it changes them tremendously. I cannot tell you, Christy, how many children I've met as I do chapels and different church programs who have said to me, doctor Kathy, I knew I was creative, but I didn't know I was smart. I thought my brother was the smart one. He gets done fast.
• 19:50
  Math comes really easily to him. And then I'm like, no. The reason that you are creative, the reason you draw well, the reason you tell the difference of blue and aqua and blue, green, and green blue. You know, the reason that you remember shapes and designs and the reason you're fascinated by architecture is because how God designed you to be smart, and it changes them. I've had body smart kids who can kick the soccer ball through the net with both the left and the right foot or dribble with both hands or shoot layups with the left and right hand or they have beautiful handwriting or they're actors and they can make their whole body look old and angry even though they're not.
• 20:23
  And they say to me, I only thought I was an actress. I only thought I was an athlete. And I've had young young adults actually cry with me when they say you're the first person who told me that because I do those things well, I'm smart too. Christy, it's a power word. Power word.
• 20:41
  And any kid and any mom who doesn't think they're smart is gonna doubt what it is that they can contribute to in the culture. And we're designed to leave the world a better place, so we wanna be able to contribute. And the way that these moms are contributing, of course, is to raise up a generation of world changers who have been homeschooled, which and another reason I'm an advocate of it, Christy, is you'll know your kids so well. When you send your kids off to school, they're gone for 6 or so, 7 hours a day. You know your kids well.
• 21:08
  Another reason I'm an advocate, you know what they've learned because you're the one who taught them. So application of truth is wisdom. Right? The application of truth is wisdom. And one of the problems across the road is that they're teaching at they're turn the page, turn the page, turn the page, here's another test, and there's no time for the application of what the children have learned.
• 21:28
  And too many moms and dads don't know what the children are learning, so they can't reinforce it at home. When you're a homeschool mom, my favorite example is teaching compound words and so now you're in the bakery at the grocery store and your kids screams loud enough for everyone to hear mommy mommy. There's a compound word. The word cupcake is a compound word and now, of course you reward your child with a cupcake And, and that's the application of truth and that's wisdom. And this is what I believe we need more of.
• 21:55
  So that's another reason I'm an advocate. One more quickly would be the sibling relationships. Not only are the pure child relationships typically stronger and more intimate, but typically the siblings get along better, know each other, respect each other. And this is where friendship should first be learned, is with our siblings. And so if we can learn at home how to respect and and respect others, and wait patiently, and honor others, then maybe we can take this out of the home and into, you know, the culture at large.
• 22:24
  So I could go on and on. That's one of the reasons I loved your work and wanted to be on the show is I'm I'm in total agreement with you that this is best for children and it's best for our country and our culture to have more and more people choosing the homeschool option.
• 22:37
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• 23:12
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• 23:40
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• 24:02
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• 24:27
  Hi, mama. If you like my social media content and my show, I'm pretty sure you will love my book Homeschool Rising, Shattering Myths, Finding Courage, and Opting Out of the School System. My book is for homeschool parents, both veteran and new, and the perfect book to hand any homeschool skeptics in your life so they can better understand why you've chosen this amazing lifestyle.
• 24:51
  This book will challenge you, empower you, encourage you, and give you solid, mindful answers to all those questions you get about your homeschooling choice. Grab your copy and maybe an extra one for your mother-in-law today. Homeschool Rising is available wherever books are sold. Absolutely. And without shaming people who cannot make the same choice, aren't able to and there's also people in our society that that are unhealthy and should not be homeschooling.
• 25:18
  There are, unfortunately, so many children in our society where the safest place that they can be in a 24 hour period is that 7 hour period when they are outside of their family. So we need to always have compassion. I'm very careful never to mom shame and I also never throw teachers under the bus. I was a teacher. We get into that profession because we care.
• 25:41
  It's rough. Most of them are gems. Not all. You hear the horror stories in the news but most of them really are there because they are trying their best to make a difference. I want to ask you, though, in a world, in a society that values word and logic smarts above all else, what comes to mind is what a responsibility we have on both sides of that.
• 26:04
  So say we have a child who is word and logic smart, society, neighbors, grandparents are gonna tell that children their whole life how smart they are, right? And that was me. And then there was my sister who was a different learner, who had different giftings, and the narrative in her mind and what she the messages she got, not from my parents, not from me, but from the outside world because she struggled through school so much, was I am not smart. And the reality is she's one of the most brilliant people I've ever met. And so I I feel like we can we have a responsibility on both sides.
• 26:40
  1, that if our kid happens to fit in to alignment with society's word and logic smarts, we have to be very careful for pride that they don't have an inflated ego and they have compassion and they know, hey, these are the 2 smarts that society values most but all of them are equal. And so they also have compassion and empathy for people who are smart in a different way than them. But also, I think of people like my sister growing up where her smarts were different and the responsibility to those kiddos to make sure they know how smart they are and how they are gifted. Would you speak to that a little bit about that responsibility and balance?
• 27:21
  Dr. Kathy Koch: Yeah. Those are great points. And I think, one of the questions I often ask my young adult audiences is how many of you know people who did really well in school and they have not done well in life? And lots of hands go up. And how many of you know people that did not do well in school, but they're a c in life?
• 27:37
  Lots of hands go up. That's simple proof that all 8 matter. And I believe we were created to live an abundant life. So the more that your children can embrace all 8 in themselves and in others, the greater the joy factor, the greater the hope, the greater the the purpose they'll find. Some of our smarts are maybe more important in school, others may be more important in life.
• 27:59
  But we absolutely have to say different isn't wrong. Different is different and we need to teach our children to be other centered and to have the compassion and the empathy that they need and when we have a challenge, you know when something isn't our strength, we teach them to reach out and ask for help and ask for advice. You know, spelling isn't my strength. I'm I'm very word smart. I have written 7 books and I, you know, speak for a living, yet spelling slays me.
• 28:22
  The English language isn't logical, and I'm very logic smart. I want the rules to work. I'm the one who taught the 2nd graders rules like, you know, when there's 2 vowels that go together, the first one does the talking. But the word does is in the rule, and it breaks the rule, which is just craziness. And so, you know, I I have a hard time with spelling.
• 28:41
  I'm not very picture smart. I don't remember what the word looked like the last time I saw it. Is it a double s or a double p? And so I travel with the misspelled dictionary, so I can look words up the way I think they should be spelled. I humble myself and ask people to proofread.
• 28:55
  I'm the founder and president of my own ministry with an earned PHD, but I ask people to come alongside because you don't let your weaknesses win, and but you need to know your weakness so you know how to not hurt people, and then you come you bring the the smarts alongside of you that are gonna help. So, you know, those are some just some quick comments on that. I think that pride is easy, and we need to humble we need to make sure that our kids are humble and that we don't feel like we're the best mom and the smartest mom because we have kids who are smart in these ways. That's god's grace to you that you have children who maybe have the smarts that line up with the school system if I could address for just a minute Christy I implied earlier that people smart might be the most important smart and I actually think it is I don't think word and logic are the most important in life. I think they're most important in a broken public school system, but I don't think they're the most important in life.
• 29:51
  I think people smart is because people smart is reading by the language and responding appropriately. This is the smart that your kids need so that they can figure out where to sit in a youth group. How to have a conversation with somebody, you know, in a in a synagogue, lobby, or whatever the case may be. It's reading body language, responding appropriately. People smart people are very good at collaborating and networking and cooperating.
• 30:15
  They know how to persuade without arguing. Really important skill today. It's been awakened later because we allow our children to have their eyes down on their devices. We don't require them to look up and say please and thank you masking has slowed the growth of people smart in children So I would if I were to prioritize all 8, I would say read this chapter in my book first and prioritize this idea that your children have respect for others and learn how to interact in a healthy level. Self smart is critically important.
• 30:45
  If children don't know what they know self smart people know what they know what they know what they know. If self smart children do not know what they know, they'll go wherever the wind blows them. And that's not what you want because you have values, and I believe you're raising your children up to value your values. And so sell smart children are the better of that. So I want to encourage moms who are listening to recognize, again, if God has chosen to give you a child who isn't gifted with word logic.
• 31:12
  And this can make spelling and phonics and reading and writing challenging, and I honor that. And you can find new ways to teach it. Don't lose hope because your kids, I'm confident, have the smarts that are gonna be best for them in their future.
• 31:25
  Christy-Faith: Hi there, podcast family. If our episodes bring a smile to your face, challenge you, or spark your thoughts, tap that like and subscribe button to stay connected with us. Also, we'd truly love to hear your voice in the comments. Your insights and stories are what makes this community special. And not only does it allow us to hear you, but your engagement helps us reach more people and spread our message.
• 31:47
  So go ahead and don't be shy. Like, subscribe, and comment. Absolutely. And so many parents are flocking to homeschool because they are realizing that content is not an education, that so much more to success in life has to do with skills and particularly soft skills. So it's so amazing that you speak to that.
• 32:09
  I have a question too. I keep surprising you. By the way, audience, I want you to know that I have a list of of 21 questions, and I don't think I've asked a single one on there because I'm having so much fun. It's not that often that you get someone like this on your show where we can just glean and get so much wisdom from you. Now, I have read a smidge of the pushback on the multiple intelligences.
• 32:36
  You know, whenever anything comes out, always people someone else wants to become famous saying something else. And so now, you know, back when I was learning to teach in the classroom, it was all cater to the cater to the learning styles. Cater, cater, cater. And then the pushback is, no, you got to strengthen the weak learning styles. And it's just, whatever.
• 32:56
  What is a balanced view of this? Because, of course, our kids are going to be inclined and gifted in certain ways. But what I hear you saying is, yeah. And if they're not people smart, realizing that is kind of an important one, how can you encourage moms in the area of do we do we still attempt to try to cover everything? You know, I hear a lot of times in homeschool circles, oh, my kid just hates art, so we don't do art.
• 33:23
  How would you respond to something like that?
• 33:26
  Dr. Kathy Koch: I I would give that mom grace, but I wouldn't allow the dislike of art wants to disallow art forever. I would look for a different media. Maybe they didn't like water painting because it was or like watercolors because it was too abstract and too iffy, but they would like molding with clay because they're more body smart and they love the dirt on their hands, which is nature smart. So certainly math science reading writing history economics. Spiritual growth.
• 33:53
  These are things that that matter for those of us who are older like I have 2 smarts that I'm not inclined to use much. That's okay. I'm out of school. I know how to navigate life. I know who to call on if I need to go to that part of my brain, and I can do it if I intentionally have to.
• 34:09
  I think we need to look at how our kids have been created. You know, I was a chatty Cathy at 2 and a half years old, and my parents raised me to be careful with my words. They taught me to listen well, and they taught me to respect others. I was not allowed to gossip or tease, name call, or lie. And because of their parenting, the gift that my creator gave me has turned into this.
• 34:30
  If I was not ushered by parents into the positive use of the gift, I wouldn't have a ministry. If I were to gossip or be a tease, Christy, you know this, as a public figure who's a spokesperson on things, that if I be if I develop a reputation as a gossip or a tease or a liar, I'd lose all that all that. So the power of the parent is to teach character alongside of the strength so that it is used only for good and never for evil. Logic smart people can blow up chem labs or they can solve great problems, right? So look to see who your kids are when they're young.
• 35:08
  What do they play with? How do they play? What gets them into trouble? If somebody gets into trouble for talking, they're word smart. If they get into trouble doodling everywhere and coloring everywhere, they're picture smart.
• 35:20
  If they get into trouble because they and they whistle and they toe tap and they make noise constantly, their music's smart. And so I'm not saying you put up with it and go, oh, she's just music's fine. We have to let her make noise. No. You have a right to boundaries that provide blessings for your children, but you sit back and go, oh, Katie should take piano lessons.
• 35:38
  You know, Peter doesn't need piano lessons. He hasn't indicated any interest in that, but our daughter Katie has. So I think that's part of the power of what we do. I certainly would never want someone to invest so much in a weakness that they ignore the strength, and the strength also becomes weak. I'll also say one more thing before I kick it back to you and that is that all of us are born with the capacity for all 8.
• 36:00
  They have to be awakened and the earlier they're awakened the greater the likelihood they are strength for a life. Time. So as an example, my mom and dad were both musically inclined. So Dave and I both played the piano young, and then we both played my brother was a trumpet player extraordinaire. I ended up playing viola as my main instrument, and then all of the keyboard and percussion, rhythm instruments of the percussion section.
• 36:25
  So I played, like, 20 instruments, which when I say that to kids, they're like, wow. You know, that's impressive. But the reason that I play 20 instruments is that my mom and dad were music smart, and they wanted us to carry on the family value of music. So who are you as a mom and what do you value? What where have you found your joy?
• 36:43
  Has it been in acting? Has it been in art? Has it been in gardening? Then take your kid outside when you weed the garden and when you go to the flower shop next spring and choose the marigolds and the pansies and the whatever take your kids with you and see which one wants to smell the dirt and see which one wants to say no mommy. We have too much orange.
• 37:03
  Let's choose purple. That's a picture smart, nature smart kid. So that that's, they have all 8. It's it's valuable to kinda step back. What toys do they play with?
• 37:15
  What do they do when they get into trouble? What subject matter do they do well at? When they do talk, what do they talk about? When they ask questions, what do they ask about? These are some ways that we can figure it out.
• 37:26
  Christy-Faith: Yes. And you also mentioned in your writing that we can paralyze our kids' intelligence. And thanks for joining us for part 1. We hope you gained some valuable insights. Be sure to catch part 2 where we're gonna continue this great conversation.