Latest / Pass The Rock: Real Talk / Less Control. More Courage: Teammates, Coaches, and Discipleship.

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Less Control. More Courage: Teammates, Coaches, and Discipleship. · Pass The Rock: Real Talk

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, what's up, people?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to PTR Pastor Rock, Real Talk, where we talk about faith, basketball, culture, obviously Jesus, and how to integrate him into our life every day.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm Lawrence.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: We'll be with my boy B D Aka Brian Daly.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get into it.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: What up, boy?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Hell dub.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on, brother?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Chilling, man.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's Friday.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's a beautiful day out here in Missouri.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: And looking forward to the weekend.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: How you doing?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Man, I'm doing good.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a full week.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: We got our youth program, tryouts going on, some you know, families running around.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: But man, I love Fridays and uh it's been a really good week.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: So grateful to be here, man.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: So let's jump into prayer and let's jump into our conversation, man.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: All right, God, thank you so much for the time to be with my boy Brian Daly.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, pray for our time just to have a great conversation.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: I pray your Holy Spirit to move through our hearts to just help us think about you more and help us to stay fully present in this moment.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: And whoever's tuning in, God, I pray they get some value out of it that something stirs their inner being and something helps them connect with you on a deeper level uh to focus on what's most important in life.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: So let's jump into it, man.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: So I I didn't prep you on this question, so you know I like to keep you on your toes, man.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: Keep you on your toes.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, that's the best.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: So NBA season started already, which has been really exciting.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sure you may be catching some highlights or a few games.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Are there is there a team or players that's been like you know, caught you off guard if you're surprised or really excited about what they're doing so far?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so uh I'm a Lakers fan.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know what's interesting, L, what's caught me up by surprise?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Two things.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, the whole fan base is happy LeBron's gone.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Which is it?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't see that coming.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like maybe they were being quiet, and then as soon as he left, everyone's like, Yeah, you know.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So uh that's interesting.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I got a former player, shout out to Matisse Steibel.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: He's on that team, he started their first game.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: We are undefeated.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go, Lakers.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so that's number one.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: The number two was in the first game.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you saw highlights against the Warriors.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: I did.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: The Warriors rookie.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um talking to Lucas.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Talkin! You trash me.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I love it, I love it, right?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then you got Draymond was talking, was kind of giving his commentary on it, almost trying to give him advice on it.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, wow, Draymond's getting old, you know, and and we got bald leBron now.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and so I feel like there's a new generation, and I think there's gonna be some beef with the older generation, and I'm excited to see what happens with that.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, even the older generation was maybe like, hey, don't hate on us to the older guys, but now they are the older guys.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm curious to see how that all plays out.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I think that rookie, his quote was like, I had a ton of respect for Luca, but after seeing how he acts during the game, I lost all respect.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, Oh, you guys are gonna play each other a lot this season.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be fun.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be fun.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's so cool, man.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was it was fun to watch them uh go after each other.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: So kudos to that rookie.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what caught me off part?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, thanks for asking, bro.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Lamella Ball and Anthony Edwards, the dynamic, and so talking about the young guys, yeah.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: They're kind of that's that young generation that those young Thundercats, they're a little wild, they're you know, baby kid kind of, you know, but now they're leaders, yeah, bro.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: But they're balling, they look good.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, man.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I'm laughing because Lamello is just he's goofy, man.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: He's funny.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, did you see the the dribble he did with like seven, eight steps?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then uh his brother called him out as a travel, and he's like, Oh, I'm gonna talk to him.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: You don't do that to family, you know.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's gonna be interesting, man.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: My so my son loves Anthony Evans.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to see how he does this year, too.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, it's it's been great so far.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say it going.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then sorry to see what happens to Giannis.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: That boy is dangerous, very dangerous.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: So speaking about NBA, there's something that happened yesterday.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: There's a reason why I'm wearing my patriotic stuff that's all over the news right now.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Well, not all over all news channels, but some news channels.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: But it's something worth us discussing.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: If you guys didn't listen to the last couple of episodes, Brian and I explored judgment.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, um, how can you make right judgments?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: That, like, hey, God does call us to challenge one another, coach one another.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: So, but obviously, you gotta take the speck out of your you know, the plank out of your eye before you take the speck out of your eye, other people's eye.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: So, LeBron yesterday, during, you know, before the basketball games, they always do the national anthems.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: During the national anthem, LeBron was very clearly, not even not even discreetly.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: He's like doing golf swings, and then he's like practicing his jumper.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of people were very confused.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: I think some don't think much of it, and there's another group that feels very offended how could you do that during our national anthem, a time where we honor America and those who put in blood, sweat, and tears to create the country that we live in.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what happened yesterday.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: And what I would love to do, especially because we just talked about judgment, right?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: Is man in this situation, how do you challenge someone on a situation that can be controversial and even very personal as this?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to throw it to you as a minister, a guy going through getting a second masters right now.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: What would be the best way to handle the situation if you see LeBron or anybody doing something that seems extremely controversial?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: That's still a very personal belief.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: That is um, you know, that's a really good question because I think that's an example of one.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it makes me think of Colin Kaepernick, it makes me think of Mahmoud Abdul Raouf for the uh Denver Nuggets.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Good.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when when he was uh refusing to stand during the national anthem or sitting.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I I think what gets lost is the actual reason or message.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I think that usually gets lost because the judgment comes pretty quickly.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I will say it is a really interesting topic because if you go to a football game, I just went to um Seahawks Niners a couple weeks back and saw the Niners win, of course.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Here we go with the game.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: But uh but when you're you're there, you got a lot of vets around you, but the mood is not like reverent uh in some ways.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you got drugs, alcohol, everything's flowing, people cussing up a storm, and then you have some people showing respect.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you know it's it's interesting to talk about that.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I I think to your question is, you know, we we have to be able to speak on what we do and have a reason um to share our belief at any given time in what we do.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, as a man of God, we want to speak to our actions.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I think the the way to handle it would be uh someone asking him why, and then being able to listen to his reason.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it could be something small, like, man, I wasn't even thinking about it, it was just working on my golf screen.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: It could be something deeper.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe he's he's trying to get a message across.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so then you can, you know, go into hey, how do you want to get that message across?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And what are you thinking?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I I think El, at the end of the day, the number one way is go directly to the source and ask them and have that conversation and listen, you know, start with the art of listening.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um the art of listening, you know.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, El, I feel like you're a great listener, but uh there's so many things we can miss out on when we listen.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like we can try to hijack a conversation, we can um project our own experience, we can try to finish someone's thought, or we can just sit there and listen.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's how I'd handle it.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Go to the source, ask him what's up, and then listen.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Man, there we go.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: I love it, man.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's super wise.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's I think what's tough in this generation because we have so much access to people via Instagram, social media, and yeah, I I think some people feel entitled that hey, we need to know why.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Or even maybe just because there is more access and everyone has a platform, maybe people feel like they have more voice than they should have.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I love what you said.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, let's be careful to judge too quick.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: There's probably a reason and that's something to explore.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm not taking sides, but like you said, it's it's there's many different spectrums here.
• 9:09
  unknown: Yeah.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: My dad was a lieutenant colonel army.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: I grew up on a military base.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Bro, at like 8 a.m.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: and at 3 p.m., every day the whole base would stop.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: The cars would stop driving in the middle of the street because we heard the anthem going on, so we knew the flag was going either going up in the morning or coming down at night.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: So for those with military backgrounds, it was like, dude, we we stop lifestyle to give that time.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: But if he didn't grow up in that culture, then it's different.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: So my advice would be hey, President Trump, you should give James a call.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: Call Mr.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: James directly, you know, just have one on one talk.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, an opportunity for education, you know, because that's probably a it's a hot topic that gets attention.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: But then when you dig into the reason why we do it, there's a lot more there.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And there's, you know, like one of my best friends, uh Torino de Guzman, uh, he's a he's a vet.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so, man, the stories he tells, the life lessons, the people he's lost, and the the sacrifice, like getting his perspective, even on um uh even on Memorial Day, you know.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I remember someone said like happy memorial day, and he just stopped them and just goes, Hey, let me let me tell you, don't ever say happy memorial day to a vet.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Here's why.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and so it's more of a chance to to pay tribute, to honor, to remember.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: But those are educational moments, but they don't happen without someone listening and someone having that conversation.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I appreciate you sharing that experience because I'm sure as a kid, that built reverence and it built questions, and you saw that, and so you probably carry on that legacy as well.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: No, absolutely true.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: I love that story what you said about Torino.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, LeBron's got his story to share.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe, like you said, something really bad happened in his personal family.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Something happened, he's never done that before.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: So, give him the benefit of doubt, there's gotta be a reason he was experiencing something there.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Something we'll see what happens tonight.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, yeah, I don't know.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Is he are they playing again?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'll check.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I think they just won last night, so I wonder if something happened last night.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, well, we'll see.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but hey, but on our theme, it's October.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: So I know last we talked about hey, let's kind of go with the scary theme, right?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I wanna so today's gonna be scary people.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: So Brian, you play D1, play professionally.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: If you were about to get into a fight, you walking down Harlem, the Bronx, you're in a hood, there's a dark alley.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: You can take one former teammate and an NBA player, who are you taking with you to go into that that dark alley to get into a fight?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Former teammate.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, um, I would wow, I'm thinking through all my teammates.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: I've had so I've had a ton of tough teammates.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um case what might surprise you.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh okay.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: We had an issue when I was coaching.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh one of the players involved, you know, Jason Horton.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh he had an issue with another player.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: The other player was bigger, stronger.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: They went to the locker room to settle it, and Jason came out.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I might just, there's not a lot of you know, fights I witnessed, but that one, I was like, oh, I didn't know he had hands like that, you know.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's like just because you're big and strong doesn't mean you can fight.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So so I even though he's a guard, I think I'm going Jason Horton, bro, because he's he's undefeated.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: He's like the Niners and the Lakers, bro.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: He's undefeated.
• 12:54
  unknown: Winning.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: So um, you know, maybe not the biggest dude, but I'd say Jay Horton.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then um NBA, I gotta I'm looking at Jordan, and I feel like he had Charles Oakley with him.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yep, yep.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I heard some stories about Oakley.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So Oakley was just always having his back, right?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I heard some stories about Oakley uh kind of breaking people in.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I think I'd go like mid-90s Charles Oakley.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah, the enforcer.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: He definitely had a remote.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: The enforcer sounds like, yeah, and then I'll add one more from a football perspective, Trent Williams.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, of course, of course, that guy.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: So we so our watching the Niners, there's been times there's scuffles, and when he gets in there, it's like everything stops.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: They know, you know, and on his back, he's got this huge tattoo of a silver back gorilla.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he's had brain cancer and surgery, and that's a bad dude.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: So on the field, it would be that guy.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's apex, he's the alpha among alphas.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, all right.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I'll go mine real quick.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I didn't play Division I or um uh uh pro.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: So just for pick-up ball, you and I both know Vincent Hawkins.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: He's the one of the strongest humans I know.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: And there was a story about him breaking someone's jaw in high school that he shared.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I can see that.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's a good choice.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: I I can see Vince, yeah.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm taking Vince.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: Professional ball, Anthony Mason.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: Man, he was in the Knicks, he just looked like a mean man that could just fight.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I just got done listening to a podcast.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: You went football, someone share one football.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: I just listened, I got done listening to Brandon Spike's uh story.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: He was on someone's podcast.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, busting with the boys.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he went all in.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, I listened to talk all day.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, yeah, I want you with me.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: I wish you were my big brother.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: I like I want to be your friend.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a good choice.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: All of those good choices.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I I would not want to be against Vince in a fight.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, and uh that's a great choice.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think the Knicks, I'll look it up, but I think Pat Riley Knicks had Anthony Mason and Oakley.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa, yeah, for at least the season.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: So that's some bad dudes right there.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's true, man.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it's probably worse than the pistons, but it's up there.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, we didn't prep this question, but I want to ask it.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: So you know, I'm a fairly competitive guy.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I wouldn't consider myself an alpha, but I say it's up there.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't say I'm a beta.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: But uh doing ministry when I became a Christian, I realized, and I've been a Christian 26 years now, I am quicker to follow someone that I don't want to get into a physical fight with.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: Not that I consciously think that, but Vince was my minister, right?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, yeah, you tell me to do something, I'm gonna do it.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: Not only because you can beat me up, but there's a level of like I knew if anything were to go down, you're not afraid of anything.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, and so I am more prone to follow someone that I have a respectful fear for.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: Not that I'm afraid of him, or I'm I'm so scared to be around him or anybody.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: But there's this level of fearful respect, you know, like God.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: I fear him because I know what he can do if he has to go there.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that makes me more willing to follow.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: Brian, what do you think about that?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: Do you experience that as a professional athlete?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, we'll follow whoever is a man of God, doesn't matter size, statue, you know.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: But is there a difference in following someone that you know is like, man, if it if it were to go down, I know you know that there's something different in your heart, your soul that will follow that person.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think what I've seen though, that you know, there is there's a proverb about it.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I think I love to see how like that spiritual dog in a sense when things hit the fan and you're really in the pit and the bullets are flying, and it's just like really difficult situation to see people just lay lay their soul bare and try to help a situation or work through a situation.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think those are the the people I connect with the most because we all got issues, and when you make it through a difficult situation with someone, I think I feel so much more bonded to them.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so the one that's like um pretty clean, organized, never has any issues, and always know what to do in every situation and their opinion on every situation.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I have trouble with that.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I like going back and forth and working through and and working through mistakes and then being closer after it, you know.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Even if we butt head, some of my best friends I've buttted heads with, but we're tighter for it, you know.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's what I'm drawn to in leadership.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's cool.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, thanks for breaking that down.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: So it's to flip, we're flipping the world upside down here because you're right.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: Most of the times you can look at the external.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'll follow Trent Williams, I'm gonna follow Brandon Spikes.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: Because physically, what they can do, but what you're talking about is okay, there's a spiritual component that should compel us in the same way.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay, they're not afraid to talk about difficult things.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Difficult things meanings are you saying like when they mess up or vulnerable situations or vulnerable topics?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it sounds like that's what you're saying.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: They're not afraid to tackle spiritually spiritual, fearful spiritual situations and topics.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: Is that correct?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: I then I think uh it's something I've learned from guys I respect.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've seen that with you, I've seen that with Vince, I've seen that with uh Max Strong, with my greatest coaches.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Is I'll give you an example.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: If something goes down in ministry or as a brother in the faith, you can either call or text somebody about it, or you can show up and just be at a distance, or you can go into that room and have a conversation and pray with them through the blood, sweat, and tears.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so I think the third one, it takes vulnerability, it takes energy, it takes compassion, like being willing to go there with people.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's that's what I mean.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's harder, but like I feel like that's what really bonds you.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely, man.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: What are some stories?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it makes me wonder, okay, we know Jesus was like that.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: He's the Alpha and Omega, so he's he's the apex.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_02: But how he lived his life on earth, he did so many things where man, his heart and how he approached situation via care.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you can hear my dog barking.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: Hopefully not.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: Leo, come get the dog.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: Can't you hear him barking?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: Don't you know my wife?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, come on, Kai.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: So what are can you share some examples where Jesus does things that you feel like, wow, that that's a man who is not afraid to go there um without even using his power and strength.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, I've been studying out two situations, um, but one jumps to mind the woman at the well, uh Samarian woman, yeah, uh Samaritan woman, where I think he goes there because one, it's hot, he's hungry, thirsty, tired.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's a woman from another culture that's not a part of the Jewish faith that they kind of they butt heads, their people do, their communities do, tired, and then he's alone.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And what I love is you know, we all have been that way.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're that way as a parent.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's Friday, you might feel that way, even we we feel that way on Friday sometimes, but he goes there and then he uses his imagination, which I think is like I think maybe one of our faults as disciples is we give the best of our imagination to like our employer or our work, but we don't always give it to Jesus, right?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, and so he goes there and then he takes the water, and uh, I'm just you know paraphrasing here and summing it up, but she's there to get water, and he's like, I got water, you you know nothing about it.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: You get some of this water, you're never thirsty again.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, What?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then you know, he does she says, I got uh um uh uh for here from my husband or whatever, and then he's like, Well, you've had five husbands, the one you're with now is not your husband, and um, and so he takes uses his imagination.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Say, hey, you're here for this water.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: I got the living water.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: And he goes there, right?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then, um, so I think he's willing to go into her world and reach out to her, even though he's probably all tired.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then I feel like it's an edge Jesus because his disciples show up and they're like, Hey, you get anything?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Did you get anything to eat?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, My food is to do the will of God.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I got that.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then she goes back all excited, like she's still a mess.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: She still has had all those husbands and all that sin and tragedy, but she's fired up because now she has perspective about Jesus.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like he does that over and over.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: He goes there even when he's physically challenged and it's physically um difficult.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he emotionally sees it, he uses his imagination, which is the part I'm studying out right now, is like using our imagination.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I love that about him.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I think as a parent, it it it inspires me to like not just check my boxes of my responsibilities, but man, I want to be in there and think about using my imagination on how can I make this not just a routine interaction, but a Jesus-filled interaction that's meaningful, you know?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: I love that story.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for sharing that.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's like um the easy thing to do is right or wrong.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, you're a woman, you're not my culture, boom, we're not talking.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just keeping my distance.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm more focused on my needs.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: But how can I make the most impact out of this situation, but not afraid to get into your life and what you really think?
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: We just talking about, you know, the LeBron James, Trump, you know, the whole situation.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, let's let's talk about this.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: And really let's get to the core root of what you really believe and explore it.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: So that's cool.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I know you got about 10 minutes here, but let me ask this real quick.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: I would love to explore, especially because you're a coach and you probably work with a lot of parents.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I got three kids and they're all active in sports.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: And what are some things that you advise that parents could do better about having meaningful conversations?
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm sure some parents probably won't admit it that they're afraid that their kids will make them look bad because they're not playing hard, or their kids won't make it, you know, my son's in um junior high school right now, so oh, my kid's not gonna be good enough to make high school sports if he doesn't do all the stuff now, but whatever.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: So sometimes some parents are overly competitive, overly controlling, in my opinion.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, or whatever.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: What are some things that parents could do better about having meaningful conversations with their kids about sports?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Two things come to mind.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, one of my coaching mentors is Bruce Brown, and he has this term of releasing your child to the game.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: And what it means is you're you're releasing them to get coached in practice, to get taught a scheme, um, to get disciplined, and to learn, which means that they have a head coach that they're gonna learn from.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: And as coming up as a player, um, and then as a coach now, seeing that side of it, there's times where you see your player torn between what you're telling them to do and what you know their parent and the bleachers across the gym is telling them to do.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the answer isn't always eat, just eat, get your buckets, shoot it.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if you listen to that voice, you're coming to this bench, you know.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I think um not trying to be a competing coach voice, and and then there's another example, like if you get coached up on something, and I'm trying to do this with my son, you get corrected.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if your son comes home or your daughter comes home and they're like complaining about the correction, instead of instead of being like, Yeah, that's stupid, why would your coach say that?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: You should just do what you want, is to really support, hey, that that coach's voice is the one that's determining the playing time and the course of the team, and he's considering the the lens of the team.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: So you should probably listen to what your coach is saying, and if you don't understand it, you should definitely ask him.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think that would be really helpful, bro.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second one, which is tough for me, is they say the toughest time for a kid in sports is a car ride home.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think practicing great listening on the car ride home, because if you're like me, you kind of got the post-game coaching points you want to hit with your kid.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, you should have done this.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: What happened on this one?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: And what you know?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but instead of like, can you let your your son or daughter be the first to speak um and the first to talk about the game and coach themselves and and you know, all that that's really tough to do.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: But um, you know, I think to sum it up, our role as parents is to be the number one fan, not another coach.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: So those are the two things I'd say be a number one fan by supporting what they have to say on the car ride home, and then number two, don't try to compete with the coach's voice, release your son or daughter to the game.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's beautiful.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like we should maybe another episode we can go in a lot deeper about parent relationship with their kid.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: How about this, real quick as well?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: It made me think about maybe you can share from your experience too.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: What if some conversations a player needs to have more courage to uh with their coach?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: So there's probably some fearful conversations they need to have with their coach.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: What are some of those and how should they do that?
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can just tell you from my perspective, um, as a coach, if I hear, can I play what can I, you know, can I play more?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that's not a good start to the conversation.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, what can I do to help my team more?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, what can I do to help my team more is like you're looking at it through the lens of how do I add value to my team, which may be playing time, it may be something else.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: If I hear just what can I do to play more, it looks like you're just trying to add value to yourself.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think that question is huge.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, players may not know this, but the ones that care enough to ask the questions, it could be about anything.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, dude, I'm doing evaluations right now.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have this little guy named Skyler, little middle school player.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he's got his Jordan drip on, and you know, and I'm I'm coaching, I'm in coaching mode, and I'm walking by the sideline, and he goes, he goes, he's seventh grade, bro.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: And he goes, Coach, how was your day?
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I go, you know what?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: You that just told me so much about your personality, man.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this guy is thinking not just about himself, he's got some courage to ask me that.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I go, pretty good.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is the highlight.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: And he goes, That's awesome.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so if you ask a question, it sends a message you care, which is which is great.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say, oh, you know, ask as many questions as you can, for sure.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: Sounds like it's so there's so much value in seeking to understand.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like understand your coach what they need, what does the team need.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you're only thinking about yourself, you're you know, that's not really understanding.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_02: You're you it's only a you're just so myopic.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: And then vice versa, what you're saying with the parents.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: See, you can't understand your kid if you just got the things you want to say.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: So allow yourself to feel what you need to feel through your kids' eyes, you know, like yeah, so that's as good.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: Seek to understand.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I I think too, to add to that, Els, if we can have discipline, and I've messed this up a lot, but the times where I hold my tongue with my coaching points, if I wait long enough, uh my son will say, How can I do this?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: So then I'm like, okay, now he's inviting me to coach him on maybe you know, not strategy of the game, but like uh a skill trait.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm like, okay, he's asking me.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: So he wants to be taught.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: So now there's a great pathway versus, you know, you really need to be boxing out more.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, uh, you know, it's not it's not welcomed coaching or teaching.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: But um, if you if you can have the discipline to wait, they'll ask, and then you can help them.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: Bro, big aha moment for me was you can take away your your kid's opportunity to be humble or his character to grow in that way because you're forcing something or you're stepping in.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: But let it breathe, give him time, give him the opportunity to be humble and to to mature.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, that's yeah, and that's less control, right?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I can be afraid of.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: If I don't manage it, it may not happen.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: But that's me not trusting him or God.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like, trust me, just trust.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, okay, you now you're kind of firing me up here.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: So another thing is in the sport, whatever the sport is, boy or girl, whatever the age is, the recovery process of failure, godly sorrow, whatever that looks like as an athlete, um, you're you're sad about it, then you become determined, and you try again.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: However, you want to call that process, you cannot make them do that.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: They have to build that, and that's what will keep them going.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: You miss a game-winning shot, you're upset, you cry, you go home.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of yelling at your son or daughter to go shoot a hundred shots, let them go.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so frustrated I missed that shot.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: I cried, my tears out, but you know, I'm going back outside, I'm gonna get these shots up.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that process will last them longer if it comes from them.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And versus us.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and then how much more meaningful would it be as a father?
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_02: Hey son, do you need me to grab the shots for you?
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'll come out there, grab rebounds for you.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: Now we're like with them instead of you know being over them, demanding, managing.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: We're we're side by side with them, and it probably means so much more to them.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, dad's here to help me with my dreams and my goals.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: Bro, that's so that's so good, L.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just convicted last Saturday night.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: Last Saturday night, Saturday night, I was I was a little tired, I was a little cranky.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was doing some dishes, and my son was like, Dad, can we go get some shots up at the wreck?
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Ah, it's too late, man.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I sat there, I'll do this like 15 minutes go by.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what am I doing?
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like, come on, he wants to get some shots.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I think too, is man, it there's a different fatigue as a parent.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's like those things that you look at as blessings, you might feel too tired in the moment or fatigued.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so it kind of, you know, it sharpens us to be like, oh, these are the golden moments, you know.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's when you're telling your son, oh, you're rebounding for your son.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, hey, that's why you're gonna make it, son, because you're you're committed, you're in here, you know.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like in he got game, like no one else is out here right now.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: No one else is out here, it's just you, man.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is why it's great.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: So so yeah, I think it it challenges too to be great parents that are willing uh to do that, deny ourselves and and have those moments.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we don't want to give away too many pearls, man.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_02: I know you gotta yeah, this cap it right there.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: So appreciate those jewels, brother.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds good, bro.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: Man, thank thanks for this, L.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: And uh man, who do who do you know the Rams play this weekend?
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's it.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: For those who just timing in, Brian's a 49ers fan, so he's feeling good right now.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_02: He's happy, so he's gonna rub it in as much as he can.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, we'll see how the Lakers do in a couple weeks.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Luca doesn't look that good in shape, you know.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: So we shall see.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: All right, we shall see.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe the Rams on Sunday could take some communion at halftime, bro.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: They might resurrect their season, some resurrection in that locker room.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: Hey man, you better hope the Niners don't lose this weekend.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: We might, we might.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're in Atlanta at 10 a.m., so we might.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, bro.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, Niners, I need you.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: All right, man.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let me pray it out.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, sir.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: Heavenly Father God, thank you for this time with L dub and just having a uh conversation and and seeing where the Spirit takes us, God, and and talking about um just sport and faith and um having courage to have conversations, God, being parents and releasing our kids to the experience of them learning and supporting them in the right ways, God.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it's a challenge for for pretty much all parents that have been athletes um or or have a passion for their kids in sports.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so allow us to be humble and and great supports to our kids and and know our kids uh well enough to know what they need.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um and allow us to be those that help them tie uh the spiritual connections to the journey in sport.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: And God, our our country, our world is going through a journey in sport.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's some good, there's some bad, there's some ugly.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but let us be those that that connect um our sport to our faith and and be examples of that, God.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um I pray we'd be those willing to have the conversations.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: We'd be those uh that others want as their their backup, their their spiritual Charles Oakley's, uh spiritual Anthony Masons when times get tough spiritually, God.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh pray you would uh bless the communities that we're in and anyone that's listening.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: Love you in your son Jesus' name.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: We pray.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's hit that outro video.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that's the plan.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for joining us on Pass the Rock Real Talk.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: For more inspiration, make sure to follow us on Instagram at underscore pass the rock and on Facebook at Pass the Rock Jesus through athletics.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can also get your newest PTR merchandise at pass the rock.shop.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: And PTR is brought to you by the Youth Athletic Recreational Development.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's a 501c3 nonprofit in Pullman, Washington.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: Any proceeds from anything we do, including uh passtheck.shop, will go towards our mission for our nonprofit to build a youth sports facility in the Pullman region.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh until next time, don't just pass the ball, but pass the rock.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: And don't just win the game, but win souls.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Peace.