Latest / The H. G. Wells Library / The Country of the Blind and Other Stories - A Dream of Armageddon
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Section twenty five of the Country of the Blind and
- 0:04Speaker 1: Other Stories by H. G. Wells. This LibriVox recording is
- 0:08Speaker 1: in the public domain. Read by Peter Yearsley, a Dream
- 0:12Speaker 1: of Armageddon, the man with the white face entered the
- 0:16Speaker 1: carriage at Rugby. He moved slowly in spite of the
- 0:20Speaker 1: urgency of his porter, and even while he was still
- 0:23Speaker 1: on the platform, I noted how ill he seemed. He
- 0:27Speaker 1: dropped into the corner over against me with a sigh,
- 0:31Speaker 1: made an incomplete attempt to arrange his traveling shawl, and
- 0:35Speaker 1: became motionless, with his eyes staring vacantly. Presently, he was
- 0:40Speaker 1: moved by a sense of my observation, looked up at me,
- 0:44Speaker 1: and put out a spiritless hand for his newspaper. Then
- 0:48Speaker 1: he glanced again in my direction. I feigned to read.
- 0:52Speaker 1: I feared I had unwittingly embarrassed him, and in a
- 0:55Speaker 1: moment I was surprised to find him speaking. I beg
- 0:59Speaker 1: your pardon, said I. That book, he repeated, pointing a
- 1:03Speaker 1: lean finger, is about dreams, obviously, I answered, for it
- 1:08Speaker 1: was Fortnum Roscoe's Dream States, and the title was on
- 1:12Speaker 1: the cover. He hung silent for a space, as if
- 1:15Speaker 1: he sought words yes, he said at last, But they
- 1:19Speaker 1: tell you nothing. I did not catch his meaning for
- 1:22Speaker 1: a second. They don't know, he added. I looked a
- 1:25Speaker 1: little more attentively at his face. There are dreams, he said,
- 1:30Speaker 1: and dreams that sort of proposition I never dispute, I suppose,
- 1:35Speaker 1: he hesitated. Do you ever dream? I mean vividly? I
- 1:40Speaker 1: dream very little, I answered. I doubt if I have
- 1:43Speaker 1: three vivid dreams in a year. Ah, he said, and
- 1:46Speaker 1: seemed for a moment to collect his thoughts. Your dreams
- 1:50Speaker 1: don't mix with your memories, he asked abruptly. You don't
- 1:53Speaker 1: find yourself in doubt. Did this happen or did it not?
- 1:57Speaker 1: Hardly ever, except just for a moment hesitation now and then.
- 2:01Speaker 1: I suppose few people do, does he say? He indicated.
- 2:06Speaker 1: The book says it happens at times, and gives the
- 2:09Speaker 1: usual explanation about intensity of impression and the like to
- 2:13Speaker 1: account for its not happening. As a rule, I suppose
- 2:16Speaker 1: you know something of these theories, very little, except that
- 2:20Speaker 1: they are wrong. His emaciated hand played with the strap
- 2:24Speaker 1: of the window for a time. I prepared to resume reading,
- 2:28Speaker 1: and that seemed to precipitate his next remark. He leaned forward,
- 2:32Speaker 1: almost as though he would touch me. Isn't there something
- 2:35Speaker 1: called consecutive dreaming that goes on night after night? I
- 2:40Speaker 1: believe there is. There are cases given in most books
- 2:43Speaker 1: on mental trouble. Mental trouble, Yes, I dare say there are.
- 2:47Speaker 1: It's the right place for them. But what I mean,
- 2:51Speaker 1: he looked at his bony knuckles, is that sort of
- 2:54Speaker 1: thing always dreaming? Is it dreaming? Or is it something else?
- 2:59Speaker 1: Might it be something else? I should have snubbed his
- 3:02Speaker 1: persistent conversation, but for the drawn anxiety of his face.
- 3:07Speaker 1: I remember now the look of his faded eyes and
- 3:10Speaker 1: the lids red stained. Perhaps you know that look. I'm
- 3:15Speaker 1: not just arguing about a matter of opinion, he said.
- 3:18Speaker 1: The thing's killing me. Dreams, if you call them dreams,
- 3:23Speaker 1: night after night, vivid, so vivid, this, he indicated, the
- 3:27Speaker 1: landscape that went streaming by the window, seems unreal. In comparison.
- 3:33Speaker 1: I can scarcely remember who I am, what business I
- 3:35Speaker 1: am on, he paused, Even now the dream is always
- 3:40Speaker 1: the same. Do you mean, I asked, it's over? You
- 3:43Speaker 1: mean I died, died, smashed and killed and an how
- 3:48Speaker 1: so much of me as that dream was is dead
- 3:51Speaker 1: dead forever? I dreamt I was another man, you know,
- 3:55Speaker 1: living in a different part of the world, and in
- 3:57Speaker 1: a different time. I dreamt that night after night, night
- 4:02Speaker 1: after night. I've woke into that other life, fresh scenes
- 4:06Speaker 1: and fresh happenings, until I came upon the last when
- 4:10Speaker 1: you died, when I died, and since then, No, he said,
- 4:15Speaker 1: thank God, that was the end of the dream. It
- 4:18Speaker 1: was clear I was in for this dream, and after
- 4:22Speaker 1: all I had an hour before me. The light was
- 4:25Speaker 1: fading fast, and Fortnum Roscoe has a dreary way with him.
- 4:30Speaker 1: Living in a different time, I said, do you mean
- 4:33Speaker 1: in some different age? Yes? Past, No, to come to
- 4:39Speaker 1: come the year three thousand, for example, I don't know
- 4:43Speaker 1: what year it was. I did when I was asleep,
- 4:46Speaker 1: when I was dreaming, that is, but not now, not
- 4:49Speaker 1: now that I'm awake. There's a lot of things I
- 4:51Speaker 1: have forgotten since I woke out of these dreams, though
- 4:54Speaker 1: I knew them at the time when I was I
- 4:56Speaker 1: suppose it was dreaming. They called thee differently from our
- 5:00Speaker 1: way of calling the ear. What did they call it?
- 5:03Speaker 1: He put his hand to his forehead, No, said he
- 5:07Speaker 1: I forget. He sat smiling weakly. For a moment, I
- 5:10Speaker 1: feared he did not mean to tell me his dream.
- 5:13Speaker 1: As a rule, I hate people who tell me their dreams,
- 5:16Speaker 1: but this struck me differently. I proffered assistance even it began,
- 5:21Speaker 1: I suggested. It was vivid from the first. I seemed
- 5:25Speaker 1: to wake up in it suddenly. And it's curious that
- 5:28Speaker 1: in these dreams I am speaking of, I never remembered
- 5:32Speaker 1: this life I'm living now. It seems as if the
- 5:34Speaker 1: dream life was enough while it lasted. Perhaps, But I
- 5:38Speaker 1: will tell you how I find myself when I do
- 5:41Speaker 1: my best to recall it all. I don't remember anything
- 5:44Speaker 1: clearly until I found myself sitting in a sort of lodgia,
- 5:48Speaker 1: looking out over the sea. I had been dozing, and
- 5:51Speaker 1: suddenly I woke up, fresh and vivid, not a bit
- 5:54Speaker 1: dream like, because the girl had stopped fanning me. The girl, yes,
- 5:59Speaker 1: the girl. You must not interrupt, or you'll put me out,
- 6:03Speaker 1: he stopped abruptly. You ain't think I'm mad, he said, no,
- 6:07Speaker 1: I answered, you've been dreaming. Tell me your dream. I
- 6:11Speaker 1: woke up, I say, because the girl had stopped fanning me.
- 6:14Speaker 1: I was not surprised to find myself there or anything
- 6:17Speaker 1: of that sort. You understand, I did not feel I'd
- 6:20Speaker 1: fallen into it suddenly. I simply took it up. At
- 6:23Speaker 1: that point, whatever memory I had of this life, this
- 6:26Speaker 1: nineteenth century life, faded as I woke, vanished like a dream.
- 6:31Speaker 1: I knew all about myself, knew that my name was
- 6:35Speaker 1: no longer Cooper but Hedon, and all about my position
- 6:38Speaker 1: in the world. I've forgotten a lot since I woke.
- 6:41Speaker 1: There's a want of connection, but it was all quite
- 6:44Speaker 1: clear and matter of fact. Then he hesitated again, gripping
- 6:49Speaker 1: the window strap, putting his face forward and looking up
- 6:52Speaker 1: to me appealingly. This seems bosh to you. No, no,
- 6:57Speaker 1: I cried, go on, tell me what this lodgire was.
- 7:01Speaker 1: It was not really a lodgier. I don't know what
- 7:03Speaker 1: to call it. It faced south, It was small. It
- 7:07Speaker 1: was all in shadow except the semicircle above the balcony
- 7:10Speaker 1: that showed the sky and sea, and the corner where
- 7:13Speaker 1: the girl stood. I was on a couch. It was
- 7:16Speaker 1: a metal couch with light striped cushions, and the girl
- 7:20Speaker 1: was leaning over the balcony with her back to me.
- 7:22Speaker 1: The light of the sunrise fell on her ear and cheek,
- 7:26Speaker 1: her pretty white neck and the little curls that nestled there,
- 7:29Speaker 1: and her white shoulder were in the sun, and all
- 7:32Speaker 1: the grace of her body was in the cool blue shadow.
- 7:36Speaker 1: She was dressed. How can I describe it? It was
- 7:39Speaker 1: easy and flowing, and altogether there she stood, so that
- 7:43Speaker 1: it came to me how beautiful and desirable she was,
- 7:47Speaker 1: as though I had never seen her before. And when
- 7:49Speaker 1: at last I sighed and raised myself upon my arm,
- 7:53Speaker 1: she turned her face to me. He stopped. I have
- 7:57Speaker 1: lived three and fifty years in this world. I have
- 8:00Speaker 1: had mother, sisters, friends, wife and daughters. All their faces,
- 8:06Speaker 1: the play of their faces I know. But the face
- 8:09Speaker 1: of this girl, it is much more real to me.
- 8:12Speaker 1: I can bring it back into memory so that I
- 8:15Speaker 1: can see it again. I could draw it or paint it.
- 8:18Speaker 1: And after all he stopped, But I said nothing. The
- 8:23Speaker 1: face of a dream, the face of a dream. She
- 8:26Speaker 1: was beautiful, Not that beauty which is terrible, cold and worshipful,
- 8:31Speaker 1: like the beauty of a saint, nor that beauty that
- 8:34Speaker 1: stirs fierce passions, but a sort of radiation, sweet lips
- 8:40Speaker 1: that softened into smiles, and grave gray eyes. And she
- 8:44Speaker 1: moved gracefully. She seemed to have part with all pleasant
- 8:49Speaker 1: and gracious things. He stopped, and his face was downcast
- 8:54Speaker 1: and hidden. Then he looked up at me and went on,
- 8:57Speaker 1: making no further attempt to disguise his absolute belief in
- 9:01Speaker 1: the reality of his story. You see, I had thrown
- 9:05Speaker 1: up my plans and ambitions, thrown up all I had
- 9:07Speaker 1: ever worked for or desired, for her sake. I had
- 9:11Speaker 1: been a master man away there in the north, with
- 9:15Speaker 1: influence and property and a great reputation, but none of
- 9:18Speaker 1: it had seemed worth having Beside her. I had come
- 9:22Speaker 1: to the place, this city of sunny pleasures, with her,
- 9:26Speaker 1: and left all those things to wreck and ruin, just
- 9:29Speaker 1: to save a remnant, at least of my life. While
- 9:32Speaker 1: I had been in love with her, before I knew
- 9:34Speaker 1: that she had any care for me, before I had
- 9:37Speaker 1: imagined that she would dare, that we should dare, all
- 9:41Speaker 1: my life had seemed vain and hollow, dust and ashes.
- 9:45Speaker 1: It was dust and ashes, night after night, and through
- 9:49Speaker 1: the long days I had longed and desired. My soul
- 9:53Speaker 1: had beaten against the thing forbidden. But it is impossible
- 9:57Speaker 1: for one man to tell another just these It's emotion
- 10:01Speaker 1: It's a tint, a light that comes and goes. Only
- 10:04Speaker 1: while it's there, everything changes, everything. The thing is. I
- 10:09Speaker 1: came away and left them in their crisis to do
- 10:12Speaker 1: what they could. Left whom I asked, puzzled the people
- 10:16Speaker 1: up in the north there you see in this dream. Anyhow,
- 10:19Speaker 1: I had been a big man, the sort of man
- 10:22Speaker 1: men come to trust in, to group themselves about. Millions
- 10:25Speaker 1: of men who had never seen me were ready to
- 10:28Speaker 1: do things and risk things because of their confidence in me.
- 10:32Speaker 1: I had been playing that game for years, that big,
- 10:36Speaker 1: laborious game, that vague, monstrous political game. Amidst intrigues and betrayals,
- 10:43Speaker 1: speech and agitation. It was a vast, weltering world. And
- 10:47Speaker 1: at last I had a sort of leadership against the gang.
- 10:51Speaker 1: You know. It was called the Gang, a sort of
- 10:54Speaker 1: compromise of scoundrelly projects and base ambitions and vast public
- 10:59Speaker 1: emotional stupidities and catchwords, the gang that kept the world
- 11:04Speaker 1: noisy and blind year by year, and all the while
- 11:08Speaker 1: that it was drifting, drifting towards infinite disaster. But I
- 11:13Speaker 1: can't expect you to understand the shades and complications of
- 11:16Speaker 1: the year, the year something or other ahead I had
- 11:20Speaker 1: it all down to the smallest details in my dream.
- 11:24Speaker 1: I suppose I had been dreaming of it before I awoke,
- 11:27Speaker 1: and the fading outline of some queer new development I
- 11:30Speaker 1: had imagined still hung about me as I rubbed my eyes.
- 11:34Speaker 1: It was some grubby affair that made me thank God
- 11:36Speaker 1: for the sunlight. I sat up on the couch and
- 11:39Speaker 1: remained looking at the woman and rejoicing, rejoicing that I
- 11:43Speaker 1: had come away out of all that tumult and folly
- 11:47Speaker 1: and violence before it was too late. After all, I thought,
- 11:51Speaker 1: this is life, Love and beauty, desire and delight. Are
- 11:56Speaker 1: they not worth all those dismal struggles for vague, gigantic ends.
- 12:02Speaker 1: And I blamed myself for having ever sought to be
- 12:05Speaker 1: a leader, when I might have given my days to love.
- 12:08Speaker 1: But then thought I, if I had not spent my
- 12:11Speaker 1: early days sternly and austerely, I might have wasted myself
- 12:16Speaker 1: upon vain and worthless women. And at the thought, all
- 12:20Speaker 1: my being went out in love and tenderness to my
- 12:23Speaker 1: dear mistress, my dear lady, who had come at last
- 12:26Speaker 1: and compelled me, compelled me by her invincible charm, for
- 12:31Speaker 1: me to lay that life aside. You are worth it,
- 12:35Speaker 1: I said, speaking without intending her to hear. You are
- 12:39Speaker 1: worth it, my dearest one. Worth pride and praise and
- 12:44Speaker 1: all things. Love to have you is worth them all together.
- 12:49Speaker 1: And at the murmur of my voice she turned about.
- 12:52Speaker 1: Come and see, she cried, I can hear her. Now,
- 12:55Speaker 1: come and see the sunrise upon Monte Solaro. I remember
- 12:59Speaker 1: how I sprung to my feet and joined her at
- 13:01Speaker 1: the balcony. She put a white hand upon my shoulder
- 13:05Speaker 1: and pointed towards great masses of limestone, flushing as it
- 13:09Speaker 1: were into life. I looked, but first I noted the
- 13:13Speaker 1: sunlight on her face, caressing the lines of her cheeks
- 13:16Speaker 1: and neck. How can I describe to you the scene
- 13:19Speaker 1: we had before us? We were at Capri. I have
- 13:23Speaker 1: been there, I said, I have clambered up Monte Solaro
- 13:26Speaker 1: and drunk vero Capri, muddy stuff like cider at the summit, Ah,
- 13:31Speaker 1: said the man with the white face. Then perhaps you
- 13:34Speaker 1: can tell me. You will know if this was indeed Capri,
- 13:38Speaker 1: for in this life I have never been there. Let
- 13:41Speaker 1: me describe it. We were in a little room, one
- 13:43Speaker 1: of a vast multitude of little rooms, very cool, and sunny,
- 13:47Speaker 1: hollowed out of the limestone of a sort of cape,
- 13:50Speaker 1: very high above the sea. The whole island, you know,
- 13:53Speaker 1: was one enormous hotel complex, beyond explaining. And on the
- 13:57Speaker 1: other side there were miles of flat, floating hotels and
- 14:01Speaker 1: huge floating stages to which the flying machines came. They
- 14:05Speaker 1: called it a pleasure city. Of course, there was none
- 14:08Speaker 1: of that in your time. Rather, I should say, is
- 14:11Speaker 1: none of that now? Of course? Now? Yes, well, this
- 14:16Speaker 1: room of ours was at the extremity of the cape,
- 14:18Speaker 1: so that one could see east and west. Eastward was
- 14:21Speaker 1: a great cliff, a thousand feet high, perhaps coldly gray,
- 14:25Speaker 1: except for one bright edge of gold, and beyond it
- 14:29Speaker 1: the Isle of the Sirens, and a falling coast that
- 14:32Speaker 1: faded and passed into the hot sunrise. And when one
- 14:36Speaker 1: turned to the west, distinct and near was a little bay,
- 14:40Speaker 1: a little beach, still in shadow, And out of that
- 14:43Speaker 1: shadow rose Solaro, straight and tall, flushed and golden, crested,
- 14:48Speaker 1: like a beauty throned, and the white moon was floating
- 14:51Speaker 1: behind her in the sky. And before us, from east
- 14:55Speaker 1: to west stretched the many tinted sea, all dotted with
- 14:58Speaker 1: little sailing boats. To the eastward, of course, these little
- 15:02Speaker 1: boats were gray and very minute and clear. But to
- 15:05Speaker 1: the westward there were little boats of gold, shining gold,
- 15:10Speaker 1: almost like little flames. And just below us was a
- 15:13Speaker 1: rock with an arch worn through it. The blue sea
- 15:16Speaker 1: water broke to green and foam all round the rock,
- 15:19Speaker 1: and a gully came gliding out of the arch. I
- 15:22Speaker 1: know that rock, I said, I was nearly drowned there.
- 15:26Speaker 1: It is called the Faraglione. Faraglione, yes, she called it.
- 15:30Speaker 1: That answered the man with the white face. There was
- 15:33Speaker 1: some story, but that he put his hand to his
- 15:36Speaker 1: forehead again. No, he said, I forget that story. Well,
- 15:41Speaker 1: that is the first thing I remember, the first dream
- 15:44Speaker 1: I had, that little shaded room, and the beautiful air
- 15:48Speaker 1: and sky, and that dear lady of mine, with her
- 15:51Speaker 1: shining arms and her graceful robe, And how we sat
- 15:54Speaker 1: and talked in half whispers to one another. We talked
- 15:58Speaker 1: in whispers, not because there was any to hear, but
- 16:01Speaker 1: because there was still such a freshness of mind between
- 16:05Speaker 1: us that our thoughts were a little frightened. I think
- 16:08Speaker 1: defines themselves at last in words, and so they went softly.
- 16:13Speaker 1: Presently we were hungry, and we went from our apartment,
- 16:17Speaker 1: going by a strange passage with a moving floor, until
- 16:20Speaker 1: we came to the great breakfast room. There was a
- 16:22Speaker 1: fountain and music. A pleasant and joyful place it was,
- 16:27Speaker 1: with its sunlight and splashing and the murmur of plucked strings.
- 16:31Speaker 1: And we sat and ate and smiled at one another,
- 16:34Speaker 1: and I would not heed a man who was watching
- 16:37Speaker 1: me from a table nearby. And afterwards we went on
- 16:40Speaker 1: to the dancing hall. But I cannot describe that all
- 16:44Speaker 1: the place was enormous, larger than any building you have
- 16:47Speaker 1: ever seen. And in one place there was the old
- 16:50Speaker 1: gate of Capri, caught into the wall of a gallery
- 16:52Speaker 1: high overhead light girders, stems and threads of gold burst
- 16:57Speaker 1: from the pillars like fountains, streamed like an aurora across
- 17:01Speaker 1: the roof, and interlaced like like conjuring tricks. All about
- 17:06Speaker 1: the great circle. For the dancers, there were beautiful figures,
- 17:10Speaker 1: strange dragons, and intricate and wonderful grotesques bearing lights. The
- 17:15Speaker 1: place was inundated with artificial light that shamed the new
- 17:18Speaker 1: born day. And as we went through the throng, the
- 17:21Speaker 1: people turned about and looked at us, for all through
- 17:24Speaker 1: the world, my name and face were known, and how
- 17:27Speaker 1: I had suddenly thrown up pride and struggle to come
- 17:30Speaker 1: to this place. And they looked also at the lady
- 17:33Speaker 1: beside me, though half the story of how at last
- 17:37Speaker 1: she had come to me was unknown or mistold. And
- 17:40Speaker 1: few of the men who were there, I know, but
- 17:43Speaker 1: judged me a happy man in spite of all the
- 17:46Speaker 1: shame and dishonor that had come upon my name. The
- 17:50Speaker 1: air was full of music, full of harmonious scents, full
- 17:54Speaker 1: of the rhythm of beautiful motions. Thousands of beautiful people
- 17:58Speaker 1: swarmed about the hall, crowded the galleries, sat in a
- 18:02Speaker 1: myriad recesses. They were dressed in splendid colors and crowned
- 18:07Speaker 1: with flowers. Thousands danced about the great circle beneath the
- 18:11Speaker 1: white images of the ancient gods, and glorious processions of
- 18:15Speaker 1: youths and maidens came and went. We two danced, not
- 18:19Speaker 1: the dreary monotonies of your days, of this time, I mean,
- 18:23Speaker 1: but dances that were beautiful, intoxicating, And even now I
- 18:27Speaker 1: can see my lady dancing, dancing joyously. She danced, you know,
- 18:32Speaker 1: with a serious face. She danced with a serious dignity,
- 18:36Speaker 1: and yet she was smiling at me and caressing me,
- 18:40Speaker 1: smiling and caressing with her eyes. The music was different,
- 18:44Speaker 1: he murmured, it went, I cannot describe it, but it
- 18:48Speaker 1: was infinitely richer and more varied than any music that
- 18:52Speaker 1: has ever come to me awake. And then it was
- 18:55Speaker 1: when we had done dancing a man came to speak
- 18:57Speaker 1: to me. He was a lean resor lute man, very
- 19:00Speaker 1: soberly clad for that place. And already I had marked
- 19:04Speaker 1: his face watching me in the breakfasting hall, and afterwards,
- 19:07Speaker 1: as we went along the passage, I had avoided his eye.
- 19:11Speaker 1: But now, as we sat in a little alcove, smiling
- 19:14Speaker 1: at the pleasure of all the people who went to
- 19:17Speaker 1: and fro across the shining floor, he came and touched
- 19:20Speaker 1: me and spoke to me, so that I was forced
- 19:22Speaker 1: to listen. And he asked that he might speak to
- 19:25Speaker 1: me for a little time apart No, I said, I
- 19:29Speaker 1: have no secrets from this lady. What do you want
- 19:31Speaker 1: to tell me? He said? It was a trivial matter,
- 19:34Speaker 1: or at least a dry matter for a lady to hear,
- 19:38Speaker 1: perhaps for me to hear, said I. He glanced at
- 19:40Speaker 1: her as though almost he would appeal to her. Then
- 19:44Speaker 1: he asked me suddenly if I had heard of a
- 19:46Speaker 1: great and avenging declaration that Gresham had made. Now, Gresham
- 19:51Speaker 1: had always before been the man next to myself in
- 19:55Speaker 1: the leadership of that great party in the North. He
- 19:58Speaker 1: was a forcible, hard and tactless man, and only I
- 20:03Speaker 1: had been able to control and soften him. It was
- 20:05Speaker 1: on his account, even more than my own. I think
- 20:08Speaker 1: that the others had been so dismayed at my retreat.
- 20:12Speaker 1: So this question about what he had done reawakened my
- 20:16Speaker 1: old interest in the life I had put aside just
- 20:19Speaker 1: for a moment. I've taken no heed of any news
- 20:22Speaker 1: for many days. I said, what has Gresham been saying?
- 20:25Speaker 1: And with that the man began nothing loth And I
- 20:29Speaker 1: must confess, ever, I was struck by Gresham's reckless folly
- 20:33Speaker 1: in the wild and threatening words he had used. And
- 20:36Speaker 1: this messenger they had sent to me not only told
- 20:39Speaker 1: me of Gresham's speech, but went on to ask counsel
- 20:42Speaker 1: and to point out what need they had of me.
- 20:45Speaker 1: While he talked, my lady sat a little forward and
- 20:49Speaker 1: watched his face and mine my old habits of scheming
- 20:53Speaker 1: and organizing reasserted themselves. I could even see myself suddenly
- 20:57Speaker 1: returning to the North, and all the dramatic effect of it,
- 21:01Speaker 1: All that this man said witnessed to the disorder of
- 21:05Speaker 1: the party, indeed, but not to its damage. I should
- 21:09Speaker 1: go back stronger than I had come. And then I
- 21:12Speaker 1: thought of my lady. You see, how can I tell you?
- 21:15Speaker 1: There were certain peculiarities of our relationship as things are,
- 21:20Speaker 1: I need not tell you about that, which would render
- 21:22Speaker 1: her presence with me impossible. I should have had to
- 21:26Speaker 1: leave her, Indeed, I should have had to renounce her
- 21:29Speaker 1: clearly and openly, if I was to do all that
- 21:32Speaker 1: I could do in the North. And the man knew
- 21:35Speaker 1: that even as he talked to her, and me knew
- 21:39Speaker 1: it as well as she did that my steps to
- 21:41Speaker 1: duty were first separation, then abandonment. At the touch of
- 21:46Speaker 1: that thought, my dream of a return was shattered. I
- 21:49Speaker 1: turned on the man suddenly, as he was imagining his
- 21:52Speaker 1: eloquence was gaining ground with me. What have I to
- 21:55Speaker 1: do with these things? Now? I said? I have done
- 21:57Speaker 1: with them. Do you think I am coquetting with you
- 22:00Speaker 1: people in coming here? No? He said, But why cannot
- 22:04Speaker 1: you leave me? Alone. I have done with these things.
- 22:07Speaker 1: I have ceased to be anything but a private man. Yes,
- 22:11Speaker 1: he answered, but have you thought this talk of war,
- 22:14Speaker 1: these reckless challenges, these wild aggressions. I stood up. No,
- 22:18Speaker 1: I cried, I won't hear you. I took account of
- 22:22Speaker 1: all those things, I weighed them, and I have come away.
- 22:26Speaker 1: He seemed to consider the possibility of persistence. He looked
- 22:29Speaker 1: from me to where the lady sat. Regarding us, war,
- 22:33Speaker 1: he said, as if he was speaking to himself, and
- 22:35Speaker 1: then turned slowly from me and walked away. I stood
- 22:39Speaker 1: caught in the whirl of thoughts. His appeal had set going.
- 22:42Speaker 1: I heard my lady's voice. Dear, she said, but if
- 22:45Speaker 1: they have need of you, She did not finish her sentence.
- 22:49Speaker 1: She let it rest there. I turned to her sweet face,
- 22:52Speaker 1: and the balance of my mood swayed and reeled. They
- 22:56Speaker 1: want me only to do the thing they dare not
- 22:59Speaker 1: do themselves, I said. If they distrust Gresham, they must
- 23:03Speaker 1: settle with him themselves. She looked at me doubtfully, But war,
- 23:08Speaker 1: she said. I saw a doubt on her face that
- 23:11Speaker 1: I had seen before, a doubt of herself and me.
- 23:15Speaker 1: The first shadow of the discovery that seen strongly and completely,
- 23:20Speaker 1: must drive us apart for ever. Now I was an
- 23:24Speaker 1: older mind than hers, and I could sway her to
- 23:27Speaker 1: disbelief or that, my dear one, I said, you must
- 23:31Speaker 1: not trouble over these things. There will be no war.
- 23:35Speaker 1: Certainly there will be no war. The age of wars
- 23:38Speaker 1: is past. Trust me to know the justice of this case.
- 23:42Speaker 1: They have no right upon me, dearest, and no one
- 23:45Speaker 1: has a right upon me. I have been free to
- 23:48Speaker 1: choose my life, and I have chosen this but war,
- 23:53Speaker 1: she said. I sat down beside her. I put an
- 23:56Speaker 1: arm behind her and took her hand in mine. I
- 23:59Speaker 1: set myself to drive that doubt away. I set myself
- 24:02Speaker 1: to fill her mind with pleasant things. Again. I lied
- 24:05Speaker 1: to her, and in lying to her, I lied also
- 24:09Speaker 1: to myself. And she was only too ready to believe me,
- 24:13Speaker 1: only too ready to forget. Very soon the shadow had
- 24:17Speaker 1: gone again, and we were hastening to our bathing place
- 24:20Speaker 1: in the Grotta del Bovo Marino, where it was our
- 24:24Speaker 1: custom to bathe every day. We swam and splashed one another,
- 24:28Speaker 1: and in that buoyant water I seemed to become something
- 24:31Speaker 1: lighter and stronger than a man. And at last we
- 24:35Speaker 1: came out, dripping and rejoicing, and raced among the rocks.
- 24:39Speaker 1: And then I put on a dry bathing dress, and
- 24:42Speaker 1: we sat to bask in the sun. And presently I nodded,
- 24:46Speaker 1: resting my head against her knee, and she put her
- 24:48Speaker 1: hand upon my hair and stroked it softly, and I dozed,
- 24:53Speaker 1: and behold, as it were, with the snapping of the
- 24:55Speaker 1: string of a violin, I was awakening, and I was
- 24:58Speaker 1: in my own bed in Liverpool, in the light of
- 25:01Speaker 1: to day. Only for a time I could not believe
- 25:05Speaker 1: that all these vivid moments had been no more than
- 25:08Speaker 1: the substance of a dream. In truth, I could not
- 25:11Speaker 1: believe it a dream, for all the sobering reality of
- 25:15Speaker 1: things about me. I bathed and dressed, as it were
- 25:19Speaker 1: by habit, and as I shaved, I argued, why I,
- 25:22Speaker 1: of all men, should leave the woman I loved, to
- 25:25Speaker 1: go back to fantastic politics in the hard and strenuous North.
- 25:30Speaker 1: Even if Gresham did force the world back to war,
- 25:33Speaker 1: what was that to me? I was a man with
- 25:35Speaker 1: the heart of a man, And why should I feel
- 25:38Speaker 1: the responsibility of a deity for the way the world
- 25:42Speaker 1: might go? You know, that is not quite the way
- 25:45Speaker 1: I think about affairs, about my real affairs. I am
- 25:48Speaker 1: a solicitor, you know, with a point of view. The
- 25:52Speaker 1: vision was so real, you must understand, so utterly, unlike
- 25:56Speaker 1: a dream that I kept perpetually recalling little irrelevant details.
- 26:01Speaker 1: Even the ornament of a book cover that lay on
- 26:04Speaker 1: my wife's sewing machine in the breakfast room, recalled with
- 26:08Speaker 1: the utmost vividness the guilt line that ran about the
- 26:12Speaker 1: seat in the alcove where I had talked with the
- 26:15Speaker 1: messenger from my deserted party. Have you ever heard of
- 26:18Speaker 1: a dream that had a quality like that, like so
- 26:22Speaker 1: that afterwards you remembered little details you had forgotten? I
- 26:26Speaker 1: thought I had never noticed the point before, but he
- 26:30Speaker 1: was riot Never, I said, that is what you never
- 26:34Speaker 1: seemed to do with dreams. No, he answered, but that
- 26:38Speaker 1: is just what I did. I am a solicitor, you
- 26:41Speaker 1: must understand. In Liverpool, and I could not help wondering
- 26:44Speaker 1: what the clients and business men I found myself talking
- 26:47Speaker 1: to in my office would think if I told them
- 26:51Speaker 1: suddenly I was in love with a girl who would
- 26:54Speaker 1: be born a couple of hundred years or so. Hence,
- 26:57Speaker 1: and worried about the politics of my great great great grandchildren.
- 27:03Speaker 1: I was chiefly busy that day negotiating a ninety nine
- 27:07Speaker 1: year building lease. It was a private builder in a hurry,
- 27:10Speaker 1: and we wanted to tie him in every possible way.
- 27:14Speaker 1: I had an interview with him, and he showed a
- 27:16Speaker 1: certain want of temper that sent me to bed still irritated.
- 27:20Speaker 1: That night, I had no dream, nor did I dream
- 27:23Speaker 1: the next night, at least to remember something of that
- 27:27Speaker 1: intense reality of conviction vanished. I began to feel sure
- 27:31Speaker 1: it was a dream, and then it came again. When
- 27:35Speaker 1: the dream came again nearly four days later, it was
- 27:38Speaker 1: very different. I think it certain that four days had
- 27:41Speaker 1: also elapsed. In the dream, many things had happened in
- 27:45Speaker 1: the north, and the shadow of them was back again
- 27:48Speaker 1: between us, and this time it was not so easily dispelled.
- 27:52Speaker 1: I began, I know, with moody musings, why in spite
- 27:57Speaker 1: of all, should I go back, go back for all
- 28:00Speaker 1: the rest of my days, to toil and stress, insults
- 28:05Speaker 1: and perpetual dissatisfaction, simply to save hundreds of millions of
- 28:10Speaker 1: common people, whom I did not love, whom too often
- 28:13Speaker 1: I could not do other than despise from the stress
- 28:17Speaker 1: and anguish of war and infinite misrule, and after all
- 28:22Speaker 1: I might fail. They all sought their own narrow ends.
- 28:26Speaker 1: And why should not I? Why should not I also
- 28:29Speaker 1: live as a man? And out of such thoughts? Her
- 28:33Speaker 1: voice summoned me, and I lifted my eyes. I found
- 28:37Speaker 1: myself awake and walking. We had come out above the
- 28:40Speaker 1: Pleasure City. We were near the summit of Monte Solaro,
- 28:44Speaker 1: and looking towards the bay. It was the late afternoon
- 28:47Speaker 1: and very clear. Far away to the left, Ischia hung
- 28:50Speaker 1: in a golden haze between sea and sky, and Naples
- 28:55Speaker 1: was coldly white against the hills. And before us was Vesuvius,
- 29:00Speaker 1: with a tall and slender streamer, feathering at last towards
- 29:04Speaker 1: the south, and the ruins of Torre de la Nunciata
- 29:08Speaker 1: and Castellamari glittering and near. I interrupted, Suddenly, you have
- 29:13Speaker 1: been to Capri. Of course, only in this dream, he said,
- 29:18Speaker 1: Only in this dream. All across the bay, beyond Sorrento
- 29:22Speaker 1: were the floating palaces of the Pleasure City, moored and chained,
- 29:27Speaker 1: and northward were the broad floating stages that received the aeroplanes.
- 29:32Speaker 1: Aeroplanes fell out of the sky every afternoon, each bringing
- 29:36Speaker 1: its thousands of pleasure seekers, from the uttermost parts of
- 29:40Speaker 1: the earth to Capri and its delights. All these things,
- 29:44Speaker 1: I say, stretched below. But we noticed them only incidentally
- 29:49Speaker 1: because of an unusual sight That evening had to show.
- 29:54Speaker 1: Five war aeroplanes that had long slumbered useless in the
- 29:58Speaker 1: distant arsenals of the Rhine Mouth were maneuvering now in
- 30:02Speaker 1: the eastward sky. Gresham had astonished the world by producing
- 30:06Speaker 1: them and others, and sending them to circle here and there.
- 30:10Speaker 1: It was the threat material in the great game of
- 30:13Speaker 1: bluff he was playing, and it had taken even me
- 30:16Speaker 1: by surprise. He was one of those incredibly stupid, energetic
- 30:21Speaker 1: people who seemed sent by heaven to create disasters. His energy,
- 30:26Speaker 1: to the first glance, seemed so wonderfully like capacity. But
- 30:30Speaker 1: he had no imagination, no invention, only a stupid, vast
- 30:35Speaker 1: driving force of will and a mad faith in his stupid,
- 30:39Speaker 1: idiot luck to pull him through. I remember how we
- 30:44Speaker 1: stood out upon the headland, watching the squadron circling far away,
- 30:48Speaker 1: and how I weighed the full meaning of the sight,
- 30:52Speaker 1: seeing clearly the way things must go. And then even
- 30:56Speaker 1: it was not too late, I might have gone back
- 30:59Speaker 1: I think and saved the world. The people of the
- 31:02Speaker 1: North would follow me. I knew, granted only that in
- 31:05Speaker 1: one thing I respected their moral standards. The East and
- 31:09Speaker 1: South would trust me as they would trust no other
- 31:13Speaker 1: northern man. And I knew I had only to put
- 31:16Speaker 1: it to and she would have let me go. Not
- 31:19Speaker 1: because she did not love me, only I did not
- 31:23Speaker 1: want to go. My will was all the other way about.
- 31:27Speaker 1: I had so newly thrown off the incubus of responsibility.
- 31:32Speaker 1: I was still so fresh a renegade from duty that
- 31:36Speaker 1: the daylight clearness of what I ought to do had
- 31:39Speaker 1: no power at all to touch my will. My will
- 31:43Speaker 1: was to live, to gather pleasures and make my dear
- 31:46Speaker 1: lady happy. But though this sense of vast neglected duties
- 31:51Speaker 1: had no power to draw me, it could make me
- 31:54Speaker 1: silent and preoccupied. It robbed the days I had spent
- 31:58Speaker 1: of half their pride, and roused me into dark meditations
- 32:03Speaker 1: in the silence of the night. And as I stood
- 32:06Speaker 1: and watched Gresham's aeroplanes sweep to and fro those birds
- 32:11Speaker 1: of infinite ill omen she stood beside me, watching me,
- 32:16Speaker 1: perceiving the trouble, indeed, but not perceiving it clearly, her
- 32:20Speaker 1: eyes questioning my face, her expression shaded with perplexity. Her
- 32:26Speaker 1: face was gray because the sunset was fading out of
- 32:29Speaker 1: the sky. It was no fault of hers that she
- 32:33Speaker 1: held me. She had asked me to go from her,
- 32:36Speaker 1: and again in the night time, and with tears she
- 32:39Speaker 1: had asked me to go at last. It was the
- 32:43Speaker 1: sense of her that roused me from my mood. I
- 32:45Speaker 1: turned upon her suddenly and challenged her to race down
- 32:48Speaker 1: the mountain slopes. No, she said, as if I jarred
- 32:52Speaker 1: with her gravity. But I was resolved to end that
- 32:56Speaker 1: gravity and made her run. No one can be very
- 32:59Speaker 1: gray and safe, lad who is out of breath. And
- 33:02Speaker 1: when she stumbled, I ran with my hand beneath her arm.
- 33:05Speaker 1: We ran down past a couple of men who turned back,
- 33:08Speaker 1: staring in astonishment at my behavior. They must have recognized
- 33:11Speaker 1: my face. And half way down the slope came a
- 33:14Speaker 1: tumult in the air. Blank clank, clank, clank, and we stopped,
- 33:19Speaker 1: and presently over the hill crest, those war things came flying,
- 33:24Speaker 1: one behind the other. The man seemed hesitating on the
- 33:27Speaker 1: verge of a description. What were they like? I asked?
- 33:31Speaker 1: They had never fought he said. They were just like
- 33:34Speaker 1: our iron clads are nowadays. They had never fought. No
- 33:38Speaker 1: one knew what they might do with excited men inside them.
- 33:42Speaker 1: Few even cared to speculate. They were great driving things,
- 33:47Speaker 1: shaped like spear heads without a shaft, with a propeller
- 33:51Speaker 1: in the place of the shaft. Steel not steel, Aluminium, no, no,
- 33:57Speaker 1: nothing of that sort. An alloy that was very common,
- 34:01Speaker 1: as common as brass. For example, it was called let
- 34:04Speaker 1: me see. He squeezed his forehead with the fingers of
- 34:08Speaker 1: one hand. I am forgetting everything, he said. And they
- 34:12Speaker 1: carried guns, little guns firing high explosive shells. They fired
- 34:17Speaker 1: the guns backwards out of the base of the leaf,
- 34:20Speaker 1: so to speak, and rammed with the beak. That was
- 34:23Speaker 1: the theory, you know. But they had never been fought.
- 34:26Speaker 1: No one could tell exactly what was going to happen.
- 34:29Speaker 1: And meanwhile, I suppose it was very fine to go
- 34:32Speaker 1: whirling through the air like a flight of young swallows,
- 34:36Speaker 1: swift and easy, I guess. The captains tried not to
- 34:40Speaker 1: think too clearly what the real thing would be like.
- 34:44Speaker 1: And these flying war machines, you know, were only one
- 34:48Speaker 1: sort of the endless war contrivances that had been invented
- 34:52Speaker 1: and had fallen into abeyance. During the long piece, there
- 34:56Speaker 1: were all sorts of these things that people were routing
- 34:59Speaker 1: out and furbishing up. Infernal things, silly things, things that
- 35:04Speaker 1: had never been tried, big engines, terrible explosives, great guns.
- 35:09Speaker 1: You know, the silly way of these ingenious sort of
- 35:12Speaker 1: men who make these things. They turn them out as
- 35:15Speaker 1: beavers build dams, and with no more sense of the
- 35:18Speaker 1: rivers they are going to divert and the lands they're
- 35:21Speaker 1: going to flood. As we went down the winding stepway
- 35:25Speaker 1: to our hotel again in the twilight, I foresaw it all.
- 35:29Speaker 1: I saw how clearly and inevitably things were driving for
- 35:33Speaker 1: war in Gresham's silly, violent hands. And I had some
- 35:38Speaker 1: inkling of what war was bound to be under these
- 35:41Speaker 1: new conditions. And even then, though I knew it was
- 35:45Speaker 1: drawing near the limit of my opportunity, I could find
- 35:48Speaker 1: no will to go back. He sighed, that was my
- 35:52Speaker 1: last chance. We did not go into the city until
- 35:56Speaker 1: the sky was full of stars. So we walked out
- 35:59Speaker 1: upon the high terrace to and fro and she counseled
- 36:03Speaker 1: me to go back, my dearest, she said, and her
- 36:07Speaker 1: sweet face looked up to me. This is death. This
- 36:10Speaker 1: life you lead is death. Go back to them, Go
- 36:13Speaker 1: back to your duty. She began to weep, saying between
- 36:17Speaker 1: her sobs and clinging to my arm as she said it,
- 36:21Speaker 1: go back, go back. Then suddenly she fell mute, and
- 36:26Speaker 1: glancing down at her face, I read in an instant
- 36:29Speaker 1: the thing she had thought to do. It was one
- 36:32Speaker 1: of those moments when one sees no. I said no,
- 36:37Speaker 1: she asked, in surprise, and I think a little fearful
- 36:40Speaker 1: at the answer to her thought. Nothing I said shall
- 36:44Speaker 1: send me back. Nothing. I have chosen Love. I have chosen,
- 36:49Speaker 1: and the world must go whatever happens. I will live
- 36:54Speaker 1: this life. I will live for you it. Nothing shall
- 36:58Speaker 1: turn me aside, nothing, my dear one, even if you died,
- 37:03Speaker 1: Even if you died, Yes, she murmured softly, then I
- 37:08Speaker 1: also would die. And before she could speak again, I
- 37:13Speaker 1: began to talk, talking eloquently as I could do in
- 37:17Speaker 1: that life, talking to exalt love, to make the life
- 37:20Speaker 1: we were living seem heroic and glorious. And the thing
- 37:24Speaker 1: I was deserting, something hard and enormously ignoble, that it
- 37:29Speaker 1: was a fine thing to set aside. I bent all
- 37:32Speaker 1: my mind to throw that glamor upon it, seeking not
- 37:35Speaker 1: only to convert her but myself to that. We talked,
- 37:40Speaker 1: and she clung to me, torn too between all that
- 37:44Speaker 1: she deemed noble and all that she knew was sweet.
- 37:48Speaker 1: And at last I did make it heroic, made all
- 37:51Speaker 1: the thickening disaster of the world only a sort of
- 37:54Speaker 1: glorious setting to our unparalleled love. And we two poor,
- 38:00Speaker 1: poor foolish souls, strutted there, at last, clad in that
- 38:04Speaker 1: splendid delusion, drunken rather with that glorious delusion, under the
- 38:10Speaker 1: still stars. And so my moment passed. It was my
- 38:15Speaker 1: last chance. Even as we went to and fro there,
- 38:19Speaker 1: the leaders of the South and East were gathering their resolve,
- 38:23Speaker 1: and the hot answer that shattered Gresham's bluffing for ever
- 38:27Speaker 1: took shape and waited, And all over Asia and the
- 38:31Speaker 1: ocean and the South, the air and the wires were
- 38:35Speaker 1: throbbing with their warnings to prepare, prepare. No one living,
- 38:40Speaker 1: you know, knew what war was. No one could imagine,
- 38:44Speaker 1: with all these new inventions, what horror war might bring.
- 38:48Speaker 1: I believe most people still believed it would be a
- 38:51Speaker 1: matter of bright uniforms and shouting charges and triumphs and
- 38:56Speaker 1: flags and bands, in a time when half of the
- 39:00Speaker 1: world drew its food supply from regions ten thousand miles away.
- 39:06Speaker 1: The man with the white face paused. I glanced at him,
- 39:09Speaker 1: and his face was intent on the floor of the carriage,
- 39:12Speaker 1: a little railway station, a string of loaded trucks, a
- 39:15Speaker 1: signal box, and the back of a cottage shot by
- 39:19Speaker 1: the carriage window, and a bridge passed with a clap
- 39:21Speaker 1: of noise echoing the tumult of the train. After that,
- 39:26Speaker 1: he said, I dreamt often for three weeks of nights.
- 39:30Speaker 1: That dream was my life, and the worst of it
- 39:33Speaker 1: was there were nights when I could not dream, when
- 39:35Speaker 1: I lay tossing on a bed in this accursed life,
- 39:40Speaker 1: and there somewhere, lost to me, things were happening, momentous,
- 39:44Speaker 1: terrible things I lived at nights, My days, my waking days.
- 39:49Speaker 1: This life I am living now became a faded, far
- 39:53Speaker 1: away dream, a trab setting. The cover of the book.
- 39:57Speaker 1: He thought, I could tell you all, will tell you
- 40:01Speaker 1: every little thing in the dream, But as to what
- 40:04Speaker 1: I did in the daytime, no, I could not tell.
- 40:07Speaker 1: I do not remember my memory. My memory has gone.
- 40:11Speaker 1: The business of life slips from me. He leant forward
- 40:14Speaker 1: and pressed his hands upon his eyes. For a long
- 40:17Speaker 1: time he said nothing, and then said I the war
- 40:21Speaker 1: burst like a hurricane. He stared before him at unspeakable things.
- 40:26Speaker 1: And then I urged again. One touch of unreality, he said,
- 40:31Speaker 1: in the low tone of a man who speaks to himself.
- 40:35Speaker 1: And they would have been nightmares, but they were not nightmares.
- 40:38Speaker 1: They were not nightmares. No. He was silent for so
- 40:42Speaker 1: long that it dawned upon me that there was a
- 40:45Speaker 1: danger of losing the rest of the story. But he
- 40:47Speaker 1: went on talking again, in the same tone of questioning
- 40:50Speaker 1: self communion. What was there to do but flight? I
- 40:54Speaker 1: had not thought the war would touch Capri. I had
- 40:58Speaker 1: seemed to see Capria's being out of it all as
- 41:01Speaker 1: the contrast to it all. But two nights after, the
- 41:05Speaker 1: whole place was shouting and bawling. Every woman almost and
- 41:10Speaker 1: every other man wore a badge, Gresham's badge, and there
- 41:14Speaker 1: was no music but a jangling war song, over and
- 41:18Speaker 1: over again, and everywhere men enlisting, and in the dancing
- 41:22Speaker 1: halls they were drilling. The whole island was a world
- 41:25Speaker 1: with rumors. It was said again and again that fighting
- 41:29Speaker 1: had begun. I had not expected this. I had seen
- 41:33Speaker 1: so little of the life of pleasure that I had
- 41:36Speaker 1: failed to reckon with this violence of the amateurs. And
- 41:40Speaker 1: as for me, I was out of it. I was
- 41:43Speaker 1: like a man who might have prevented the firing of
- 41:46Speaker 1: a magazine. The time had gone. I was no one.
- 41:50Speaker 1: The vainest stripling with a badge counted for more than I.
- 41:54Speaker 1: The crowd jostled us and balled in our ears, that
- 41:58Speaker 1: a cursed song us. A woman shrieked at my lady
- 42:02Speaker 1: because no badge was on her. And we two went
- 42:06Speaker 1: back to our own place again, ruffled and insulted. My
- 42:10Speaker 1: lady white and silent, and I a quiver with rage.
- 42:15Speaker 1: So furious was I I could have quarreled with her
- 42:18Speaker 1: if I could have found one shade of accusation in
- 42:21Speaker 1: her eyes. All my magnificence had gone from me. I
- 42:26Speaker 1: walked up and down our rock cell, and outside was
- 42:30Speaker 1: the darkling sea, and a light to the southward that
- 42:34Speaker 1: flared and passed and came again. We must get out
- 42:39Speaker 1: of this place, I said, over and over. I have
- 42:42Speaker 1: made my choice, and I will have no hand in
- 42:44Speaker 1: these troubles. I will have nothing of this war. We
- 42:47Speaker 1: have taken our lives out of all these things. This
- 42:51Speaker 1: is no refuge for us. Let us go. And the
- 42:54Speaker 1: next day we were already in flight from the war
- 42:57Speaker 1: that covered the world. And all the rest was flight,
- 43:01Speaker 1: All the rest was flight. He mused darkly, How much
- 43:07Speaker 1: was there of it? He made no answer. How many
- 43:10Speaker 1: days his face was white and drawn, and his hands
- 43:14Speaker 1: were clenched. He took no heed of my curiosity. I
- 43:17Speaker 1: tried to draw him back to his story with questions,
- 43:20Speaker 1: Where did you go? I said, when? When you left Capri? Southwest?
- 43:26Speaker 1: He said, and glanced at me for a second. We
- 43:29Speaker 1: went in a boat. But I should have thought an aeroplane.
- 43:33Speaker 1: They had been seized. I questioned him no more. Presently
- 43:37Speaker 1: I thought he was beginning again. He broke out in
- 43:40Speaker 1: an argumentative monotone. But why should it be, if indeed,
- 43:45Speaker 1: this battle, this slaughter and stress, is life? Why have
- 43:50Speaker 1: we this craving for pleasure and beauty? If there is
- 43:54Speaker 1: no refuge, if there is no place of peace, and
- 43:57Speaker 1: if all our dreams of quiet places are a folly
- 44:01Speaker 1: and a sneer, why have we such dreams? Surely it
- 44:05Speaker 1: was no ignoble cravings, no base intentions had brought us
- 44:10Speaker 1: to this. It was love had isolated us. Love had
- 44:14Speaker 1: come to me with her eyes and robed in her beauty,
- 44:18Speaker 1: more glorious than all else in life, in the very
- 44:21Speaker 1: shape and color of life, and summoned me away. I
- 44:26Speaker 1: had silenced all the voices, I had answered all the questions.
- 44:30Speaker 1: I had come to her, and suddenly there was nothing
- 44:33Speaker 1: but war and death. I had an inspiration, after all,
- 44:38Speaker 1: I said. It could have been only a dream, A dream,
- 44:41Speaker 1: he cried, flaming upon me, a dream. When even now,
- 44:47Speaker 1: for the first time he became animated, A faint flush
- 44:50Speaker 1: crept into his cheek. He raised his open hand and
- 44:53Speaker 1: clenched it, and dropped it to his knee. He spoke,
- 44:57Speaker 1: looking away from me, and for all the rest of
- 45:00Speaker 1: the time he looked away. We are but phantoms, he said,
- 45:04Speaker 1: And the phantoms of phantoms desires, like cloud shadows and
- 45:10Speaker 1: wills of straw that eddy in the wind to day's
- 45:14Speaker 1: pass use and want carry us through as a train
- 45:19Speaker 1: carries the shadow of its lights. So be it. But
- 45:24Speaker 1: one thing is real and certain. One thing is no
- 45:27Speaker 1: dream stuff, but eternal and enduring. It is the center
- 45:32Speaker 1: of my life, and all other things about it are
- 45:34Speaker 1: subordinate or altogether vain. I loved her, that woman of
- 45:40Speaker 1: a dream, and she and I are dead together a dream.
- 45:46Speaker 1: How can it be a dream when it drenched a
- 45:49Speaker 1: living life with unappeasable sorrow, when it makes all that
- 45:54Speaker 1: I have lived for and cared for worthless and unmeaning.
- 46:00Speaker 1: Until that very moment, when she was killed, I believed
- 46:04Speaker 1: we had still a chance of getting away, he said.
- 46:07Speaker 1: All through the night and morning that we sailed across
- 46:10Speaker 1: the sea from Capri to Salerno, we talked of escape.
- 46:15Speaker 1: We were full of hope, and it clung about us
- 46:18Speaker 1: to the end, hope for the life together we should
- 46:21Speaker 1: lead out of it, all, out of the battle and struggle,
- 46:25Speaker 1: the wild and empty passions, the empty, arbitrary thou shalt
- 46:30Speaker 1: and thou shalt not of the world. We were uplifted,
- 46:35Speaker 1: as though our quest was a holy thing, as though
- 46:39Speaker 1: love for one another was a mission. Even when from
- 46:43Speaker 1: our boat we saw the fair face of that great
- 46:46Speaker 1: rock Capri, already scarred and gashed by the gun, emplacements
- 46:51Speaker 1: and hiding places that were to make it a fastness.
- 46:56Speaker 1: We reckoned nothing of the imminent slaughter, though the fury
- 46:59Speaker 1: of preparation hung about in puffs and clouds of dust
- 47:04Speaker 1: at a hundred points amidst the gray. But indeed I
- 47:08Speaker 1: made a text of that and talked there, you know,
- 47:12Speaker 1: was the rock still beautiful for all its scars, with
- 47:16Speaker 1: its countless windows and arches and ways tier upon tier
- 47:21Speaker 1: for a thousand feet, a vast carving of gray, broken
- 47:25Speaker 1: by vine clad terraces, and lemon and orange groves, and
- 47:30Speaker 1: masses of a garvey and prickly pear, and puffs of
- 47:34Speaker 1: almond blossom, and out under the archway that is built
- 47:38Speaker 1: over the Piccolomarina, other boats were coming. And as we
- 47:42Speaker 1: came round the cape and within sight of the mainland,
- 47:45Speaker 1: another little string of boats came into view, driving before
- 47:49Speaker 1: the wind towards the southwest. In a little while a
- 47:54Speaker 1: multitude had come out the remoter, just little specks of
- 47:58Speaker 1: ultramarine in the shadow of the eastward cliff. It is
- 48:02Speaker 1: love and reason, I said, fleeing from all this madness
- 48:05Speaker 1: of war. And though we presently saw a squadron of
- 48:09Speaker 1: aeroplanes flying across the southern sky, we did not heed it.
- 48:14Speaker 1: There it was a lion of little dots in the sky,
- 48:18Speaker 1: and then more dotting the southeastern horizon, and then still more,
- 48:22Speaker 1: until all that quarter of the sky was stippled with
- 48:26Speaker 1: blue specks. Now they were all thin, little strokes of blue,
- 48:31Speaker 1: and now one and now a multitude would heal and
- 48:35Speaker 1: catch the sun and become short flashes of light. There
- 48:39Speaker 1: came rising and falling, and growing larger, like some huge
- 48:43Speaker 1: flight of gulls or rooks, or such like birds, moving
- 48:47Speaker 1: with a marvelous uniformity. And ever as they drew nearer
- 48:51Speaker 1: they spread over a greater width of sky. The southward
- 48:55Speaker 1: wing flung itself in an arrow headed cloud athwart the sun.
- 48:59Speaker 1: And then suddenly they swept round to the eastward and
- 49:02Speaker 1: streamed eastward, growing smaller and smaller, and clearer and clearer again,
- 49:07Speaker 1: until they vanished from the sky. And after that we
- 49:11Speaker 1: noted to the northward and very high Gresham's fighting machines,
- 49:15Speaker 1: hanging high over naples like an evening swarm of gnats.
- 49:20Speaker 1: It seemed to have no more to do with us
- 49:23Speaker 1: than a flight of birds. Even the mutter of guns
- 49:27Speaker 1: far away in the southeast seemed to us to signify nothing.
- 49:32Speaker 1: Each day, each dream after that, we were still exalted,
- 49:37Speaker 1: still seeking that refuge where we might live and love,
- 49:41Speaker 1: fatigue had come upon us, pain and many distresses. For
- 49:45Speaker 1: though we were dusty and stained by our toilsome tramping,
- 49:49Speaker 1: and half starved, and with the horror of the dead
- 49:53Speaker 1: men we had seen, and the flight of the peasants,
- 49:56Speaker 1: for very soon a gust of fighting swept up the peninsula.
- 50:01Speaker 1: With these things haunting our minds, it still resulted only
- 50:04Speaker 1: in a deepening resolution to escape. Oh, but she was
- 50:09Speaker 1: brave and patient. She who had never faced hardship and exposure,
- 50:14Speaker 1: had courage for herself and me. We went to and
- 50:19Speaker 1: fro seeking an outlet, over a country all commandeered and
- 50:24Speaker 1: ransacked by the gathering hosts of war. Always we went
- 50:29Speaker 1: on foot. At first there were other fugitives, but we
- 50:33Speaker 1: did not mingle with them. Some escaped northward, Some were
- 50:37Speaker 1: caught in the torrent of peasantry that swept along the
- 50:39Speaker 1: main roads. Many gave themselves into the hands of the
- 50:43Speaker 1: soldiery and were sent northward. Many of the men were impressed,
- 50:47Speaker 1: but we kept away from these things. We had brought
- 50:50Speaker 1: no money to bribe a passage north, and I feared
- 50:53Speaker 1: for my lady at the hands of these conscript crowds.
- 50:57Speaker 1: We had landed at Salerno and we had been turned
- 51:00Speaker 1: back from Carver, and we had tried to cross towards
- 51:03Speaker 1: Taranto by a pass over Mount Alburno, but we had
- 51:07Speaker 1: been driven back for want of food, and so we
- 51:10Speaker 1: had come down among the marshes by Piston, where those
- 51:14Speaker 1: great temples stand alone. I had some vague idea that
- 51:18Speaker 1: by Pestom it might be possible to find a boat
- 51:21Speaker 1: or something and take once more to see. And there
- 51:24Speaker 1: it was. The battle overtook us. A sort of soul
- 51:28Speaker 1: blindness had me plainly. I could see that we were
- 51:32Speaker 1: being hemmed in, that the great net of that giant
- 51:36Speaker 1: warfare had us in its toils. Many times we had
- 51:40Speaker 1: seen the levees that had come down from the north
- 51:42Speaker 1: going to and fro, and had come upon them in
- 51:45Speaker 1: the distance amidst the mountains, making ways for the ammunition
- 51:50Speaker 1: and preparing the mounting of the guns. Once we fancied
- 51:53Speaker 1: they had fired at us, taking us for spies. At
- 51:56Speaker 1: any rate, a shot had gone shuddering over us. Several
- 51:59Speaker 1: times we had hidden in woods from hovering aeroplanes. But
- 52:05Speaker 1: all these things do not matter now, these nights of
- 52:09Speaker 1: flight and pain. We were in an open place near
- 52:13Speaker 1: those great temples at pistom at last on a blank,
- 52:17Speaker 1: stony place dotted with spiky bushes, empty and desolate, and
- 52:23Speaker 1: so flat that a grove of eucalyptus far away showed
- 52:26Speaker 1: to the feet of its stems. How I can see it.
- 52:30Speaker 1: My lady was sitting down under a bush, resting a little,
- 52:34Speaker 1: for she was very weak and weary, and I was
- 52:37Speaker 1: standing up, watching to see if I could tell the
- 52:40Speaker 1: distance of the firing that came and went. They were still,
- 52:44Speaker 1: you know, fighting far from each other with these terrible
- 52:48Speaker 1: new weapons that had never before been used, guns that
- 52:51Speaker 1: would carry beyond sight, and aeroplanes that would do what
- 52:56Speaker 1: they would do no man could foretell. I knew that
- 53:01Speaker 1: we were between the two armies, and that they drew together.
- 53:05Speaker 1: I knew we were in danger, and that we could
- 53:07Speaker 1: not stop there and rest. So all these things were
- 53:11Speaker 1: in my mind. They were in the background. They seemed
- 53:14Speaker 1: to be affairs beyond our concern. Chiefly I was thinking
- 53:18Speaker 1: of my lady. An aching distress filled me. For the
- 53:22Speaker 1: first time. She had owned herself beaten and had fallen
- 53:26Speaker 1: a weeping behind me. I could hear her sobbing, but
- 53:30Speaker 1: I would not turn round to her, because I knew
- 53:33Speaker 1: she had need of weeping, and had held herself so
- 53:35Speaker 1: far and so long for me. It was well. I
- 53:39Speaker 1: thought that she would weep and rest, and then we
- 53:42Speaker 1: would toil on again, For I had no inkling of
- 53:45Speaker 1: the thing that hung so near. Even now I can
- 53:49Speaker 1: see her as she sat there, her lovely hair upon
- 53:52Speaker 1: her shoulder, can mark again the deepening hollow of her cheek.
- 53:57Speaker 1: If we had parted, she said, if I had let
- 54:00Speaker 1: you go, no, said I. Even now, I do not repent.
- 54:04Speaker 1: I will not repent. I made my choice, and I
- 54:08Speaker 1: will hold on to the end. And then overhead in
- 54:11Speaker 1: the sky flashed something and burst, and all about us
- 54:14Speaker 1: I heard the bullets making a noise like a handful
- 54:17Speaker 1: of peas suddenly thrown. They chipped the stones about us,
- 54:20Speaker 1: and whirled fragments from the bricks and passed. He put
- 54:24Speaker 1: his hand to his mouth, and then moistened his lips
- 54:28Speaker 1: at the flash. I had turned about. You know. She
- 54:30Speaker 1: stood up. She stood up, you know, and moved a
- 54:34Speaker 1: step towards me, as though she wanted to reach me,
- 54:37Speaker 1: and she had been shot through the heart. He stopped
- 54:42Speaker 1: and stared at me. I felt all that foolish incapacity,
- 54:46Speaker 1: an Englishman feels on such occasions. I met his eyes
- 54:50Speaker 1: for a moment, and then stared out of the window.
- 54:53Speaker 1: For a long space. We kept silence. When at last
- 54:56Speaker 1: I looked at him. He was sitting back in his corner,
- 55:00Speaker 1: his arms folded and his teeth gnawing at his knuckles.
- 55:03Speaker 1: He bit his nail suddenly and stared at it. I
- 55:06Speaker 1: carried her, he said, towards the temples in my arms,
- 55:11Speaker 1: as though it mattered. I don't know why. They seemed
- 55:15Speaker 1: a sort of sanctuary. You know, they had lasted so long.
- 55:18Speaker 1: I suppose she must have died almost instantly. Only I
- 55:23Speaker 1: talked to her all the way. Silence again. I have
- 55:27Speaker 1: seen those temples, I said abruptly, And indeed he had
- 55:31Speaker 1: brought those still sunlit arcades of worn sandstone very vividly
- 55:36Speaker 1: before me. It was the brown one, the big brown one.
- 55:40Speaker 1: I sat down on a fallen pillar and held her
- 55:43Speaker 1: in my arms, silent. After the first babble was over,
- 55:48Speaker 1: and after a little while the lizards came out and
- 55:50Speaker 1: ran about again, as though nothing unusual was going on,
- 55:54Speaker 1: as though nothing had changed. It was tremendously still there,
- 55:59Speaker 1: the sight high and the shadows still, even the shadows
- 56:03Speaker 1: of the weeds upon the entablature were still, in spite
- 56:07Speaker 1: of the thudding and banging that went all about the sky.
- 56:11Speaker 1: I seemed to remember that the aeroplanes came up out
- 56:14Speaker 1: of the south, and that the battle went away to
- 56:17Speaker 1: the west. One aeroplane was struck and overset and fell.
- 56:21Speaker 1: I remember that, though it didn't interest me in the least,
- 56:25Speaker 1: it didn't seem to signify. It was like a wounded gull,
- 56:30Speaker 1: you know, flapping for a time in the water. I
- 56:32Speaker 1: could see it down the aisle of the temple, a
- 56:34Speaker 1: black thing in the bright blue water. Three or four
- 56:38Speaker 1: times shells burst about the beach, and then that ceased.
- 56:42Speaker 1: Each time that happened, all the lizards scuttled in and
- 56:45Speaker 1: hid for a space. That was all the mischief done,
- 56:49Speaker 1: except at once a stray bullet gashed the stone hard
- 56:53Speaker 1: by made just a fresh, bright surface. As the shadows
- 56:57Speaker 1: grew longer, the stillness seemed great. The curious thing, he remarked,
- 57:03Speaker 1: with the manner of a man who makes a trivial conversation,
- 57:07Speaker 1: is that I didn't think. I didn't think at all.
- 57:11Speaker 1: I sat with her in my arms amidst the stones,
- 57:15Speaker 1: in a sort of lethargy, stagnant, and I don't remember
- 57:20Speaker 1: waking up. I don't remember dressing that day. I know
- 57:23Speaker 1: I found myself in my office with my letters all
- 57:26Speaker 1: slit open in front of me, and how I was
- 57:29Speaker 1: struck by the absurdity of being there, seeing that in
- 57:33Speaker 1: reality I was sitting stunned in that pistant temple with
- 57:38Speaker 1: a dead woman in my arms. I read my letters
- 57:42Speaker 1: like a machine. I have forgotten what they were about.
- 57:46Speaker 1: He stopped, and there was a long silence. Suddenly I
- 57:50Speaker 1: perceived that we were running down the incline from Chalk
- 57:53Speaker 1: Farm to Euston. I started at this passing of time.
- 57:57Speaker 1: I turned on him with a brutal question, with the
- 58:00Speaker 1: tone of now or never, And did you dream again? Yes?
- 58:05Speaker 1: He seemed to force himself to finish. His voice was
- 58:09Speaker 1: very low once more, and as it were, only for
- 58:13Speaker 1: a few instants, I seemed to have suddenly awakened out
- 58:16Speaker 1: of a great apathy, to have risen into a sitting position,
- 58:20Speaker 1: and a body lay there on the stones beside me,
- 58:24Speaker 1: a gaunt body, not her, you know so soon it
- 58:28Speaker 1: was not her. I may have heard voices. I do
- 58:32Speaker 1: not know. Only I knew clearly that men were coming
- 58:36Speaker 1: into the solitude, and that that was a last outrage.
- 58:41Speaker 1: I stood up and walked through the temple. And then
- 58:44Speaker 1: there came into sight, first one man with a yellow face,
- 58:49Speaker 1: dressed in a uniform of dirty white trimmed with blue,
- 58:52Speaker 1: and then several climbing to the crest of the old
- 58:55Speaker 1: wall of the vanished city and crouching there. They were
- 58:59Speaker 1: little bright figures in the sunlight. And there they hung
- 59:02Speaker 1: weapon in hand, peering cautiously before them. And further away
- 59:06Speaker 1: I saw others, and then more at another point in
- 59:10Speaker 1: the wall. It was a long black line of men
- 59:13Speaker 1: in open order. Presently, the man I had first seen
- 59:17Speaker 1: stood up and shouted at command, and his men came
- 59:20Speaker 1: tumbling down the wall, then into the high weeds towards
- 59:24Speaker 1: the temple. He scrambled down with them and led them.
- 59:27Speaker 1: He came facing towards me, and when he saw me,
- 59:29Speaker 1: he stopped. At first I had watched these men with
- 59:32Speaker 1: a mere curiosity, But when I had seen they meant
- 59:35Speaker 1: to come to the temple, I was moved to forbid them.
- 59:39Speaker 1: I shouted to the officer, you must not come here,
- 59:42Speaker 1: I cried, I am here, I am here with my dead.
- 59:46Speaker 1: He stared and then shouted a question back to me
- 59:49Speaker 1: in some unknown tongue. I repeated what I had said.
- 59:53Speaker 1: He shouted again, and I folded my arms and stood still. Presently,
- 59:57Speaker 1: he spoke to his men and came forward. He carried
- 1:00:00Speaker 1: a drawn sword. I signed to him to keep away,
- 1:00:03Speaker 1: but he continued to advance. I told him again, very
- 1:00:07Speaker 1: patiently and clearly, you must not come here. These are
- 1:00:11Speaker 1: old temples, and I am here with my dead. Presently,
- 1:00:16Speaker 1: he was so close I could see his face clearly.
- 1:00:19Speaker 1: It was a narrow face, with dull gray eyes and
- 1:00:22Speaker 1: a black mustache. He had a scar on his upper lip,
- 1:00:26Speaker 1: and he was dirty and unshaven. He kept shouting unintelligible things, questions,
- 1:00:31Speaker 1: perhaps at me. I know now that he was afraid
- 1:00:34Speaker 1: of me, but at the time that did not occur
- 1:00:37Speaker 1: to me. As I tried to explain to him, he
- 1:00:39Speaker 1: interrupted me in imperious tones, bidding me, I suppose stand aside.
- 1:00:44Speaker 1: He made just to go past me, and I caught
- 1:00:46Speaker 1: hold of him. I saw his face change at my grip,
- 1:00:49Speaker 1: you fool, I cried, don't you know she is dead?
- 1:00:53Speaker 1: He started back. He looked at me with cruel eyes.
- 1:00:56Speaker 1: I saw a sort of exultant resolve, leap into them delight.
- 1:01:00Speaker 1: Then suddenly, with a scowl, he swept his sword back
- 1:01:04Speaker 1: so and thrust. He stopped abruptly. I became aware of
- 1:01:09Speaker 1: a change in the rhythm of the train. The brakes
- 1:01:11Speaker 1: lifted their voices, and the carriage jarred and jerked. This
- 1:01:16Speaker 1: present world insisted upon itself, became clamorous. I saw through
- 1:01:21Speaker 1: the steamy window huge electric lights clearing down from tall
- 1:01:25Speaker 1: masts upon a fog, saw rows of stationary empty carriages
- 1:01:30Speaker 1: passing by, and then a signal box, hoisting its constellation
- 1:01:34Speaker 1: of green and red into the murky London twilight, marched
- 1:01:38Speaker 1: after them. I looked again at his drawn features. He
- 1:01:42Speaker 1: ran me through the heart. It was with a sort
- 1:01:45Speaker 1: of astonishment, no fear, no pain, but just amazement, that
- 1:01:50Speaker 1: I felt it pierce me, felt the sword drive home
- 1:01:54Speaker 1: into my body. It didn't hurt, you know, it didn't
- 1:01:57Speaker 1: hurt at all. The yellow platform lights came into the
- 1:02:01Speaker 1: field of view, passing first rapidly, then slowly, and at
- 1:02:05Speaker 1: last stopping with a jerk. Dim shapes of men passed
- 1:02:09Speaker 1: to and fro without Euston cried a voice, Do you
- 1:02:13Speaker 1: mean there was no pain, no sting or smart amazement,
- 1:02:19Speaker 1: and then darkness sweeping over everything. The hot, brutal face
- 1:02:24Speaker 1: before me, the face of the man who had killed me,
- 1:02:27Speaker 1: seemed to recede. It swept out of existence. Euston clamored
- 1:02:32Speaker 1: the voices outside Euston the carriage door opened, admitting a
- 1:02:36Speaker 1: flood of sound, and a porter stood regarding us. The
- 1:02:40Speaker 1: sounds of doors slamming, and the hoof clatter of cab horses.
- 1:02:44Speaker 1: And behind these things, the featureless, remote roar of the
- 1:02:48Speaker 1: London cobblestones came to my ears. A truckload of lighted
- 1:02:52Speaker 1: lamps blazed along the platform. A darkness, a flood of
- 1:02:56Speaker 1: darkness that opened and spread and blotted out all things
- 1:03:01Speaker 1: any luggish, sir, said the porter. And that was the end.
- 1:03:05Speaker 1: I asked. He seemed to hesitate, Then, almost inaudibly, he answered, no,
- 1:03:11Speaker 1: you mean I couldn't get to her. She was there
- 1:03:16Speaker 1: on the other side of the temple. And then yes,
- 1:03:21Speaker 1: I insisted, Yes, nightmares, he cried, nightmares. Indeed, my God,
- 1:03:28Speaker 1: great birds that fort and tore. End of section twenty
- 1:03:34Speaker 1: five