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BONUS: Stressors · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hello, my loves, Welcome back to the bonus episode of
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: the Give Them a La Podcast. I'm hyper for today
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: because you know, today we're talking about stressors, and I
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: like talking about stressors when I ain't stressed.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Oh that's nice.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's a more productive conversation. If I'm
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: stressed and we're talking about my stressors, it's enough for
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: me to go, put me to bed, put me to bed,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: and then I just get sad and I cry and
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: talk about how no one gets it, no one gets
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: it right. But I think there are many stressors in life.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I think kids can add a stress to things. I
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: think money is obviously going to be a huge one,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: but like even family dynamics can become very stressful. Age age,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: you know, like nothing stresses me out more than being
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: pregnant and knowing I can't get botox for over nine months.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: My god, my lines are syncing in my elevens, not
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: the eleven The elevens are really really yours are there? Yeah,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna look like you soon, And you know that's fine,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: that's fine. But sometimes they get so deep where you're like, oh,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: this is beyond the body or the daxify this is like,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: we need some filler, you know, and then that gets tricky.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: So it's it's a lot of stress.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lot of stress.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: The people, you guys.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to hit all the nodes, Okay, all right,
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to hit all the notes because what I've
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: learned is we have in the dams many people who
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: have different stressors, and some are more important than others.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: But I'm letting you know I relate. Yes, whether it's
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: because you're getting elevens between the eyes or because.
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: You need eleven dollars.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, you need even dollars.
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: Been there, haven't we all?
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Haven't we all?
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: No?
• 2:17
  Speaker 6: No, but for real, you know you've never had a
• 2:20
  Speaker 6: parking ticket with nineteen bucks left to your neck.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I used to look at Danielle on Olympic and be like,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: all right, so we need to choose. Are we eating
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: at Einstein's today or is our buzz tonight more important?
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Always I only got enough for two bagels or a
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: bottle of bottomshelf vodka?
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: Bitch, all right, which way we going? It usually went to.
• 2:41
  Speaker 6: The bottom shehelf and then just walk into Einstein's and
• 2:45
  Speaker 6: just flash them a bagel.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Wow, we ladies, titties for carbs, I don't know, titties
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: don't do much.
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: And weehoe, I need to start going out there.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Maybe what are your stresses? Easton? Just stressers right now?
• 3:02
  Speaker 6: Honestly, no, I feel like I've been that was my thing.
• 3:05
  Speaker 6: Was my anxiety big.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: As small as you want?
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: Well, I mean no.
• 3:10
  Speaker 6: Stressing you out, yeah, you and mother, this bitch and
• 3:17
  Speaker 6: then this bitch is mom.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: You know you and mother.
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: Honestly, no, like there's no stressors like I feel like
• 3:25
  Speaker 6: I stress about the stupid Like I stress about like
• 3:28
  Speaker 6: if I have to like pack, Like stress is me
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: going to Palm Springs looking at all of my disarray clothes,
• 3:35
  Speaker 6: going what do I bring?
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: Like that has been a stress? Like that is a
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: stress and then if I stress about that, it throws
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: me in.
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: But other than that, like I'm stressed about like things
• 3:44
  Speaker 6: I'm trying to get going.
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: But like other than that, like I can't.
• 3:48
  Speaker 6: There's nothing that I can do to change it, so
• 3:50
  Speaker 6: I can't stress about it.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: It's you know.
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: Like that's one thing that I'm trying to do is
• 3:55
  Speaker 6: like I can't stress about something I'm not in charge of.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I like, yeah, but that I think I think that
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: has come with your medication.
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: Because my medication is a lot of things.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Many occasions have spoken to you on the phone and
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: you have been stressed about living in Utah when your
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: car has broken and you would need to drive from
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: point A to point B and it's five thousand dollars
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: and yeah, I mean yeah, like like, yes, we're all
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: privileged sitting here right now, but I mean you're not
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: sitting around being like my stress is what I have
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: to pack.
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: For pumps, Like can I be between.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Me and my boat talks the levens.
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: And you and your pump sound.
• 4:37
  Speaker 6: So that when I did leave in Utah, getting to
• 4:41
  Speaker 6: work because I had a fucking rear real drive BMW
• 4:46
  Speaker 6: dumbest car to buy, dumbest fucking car, I would have
• 4:50
  Speaker 6: to some days call out of work because I couldn't
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: get into work. But yeah, no, so like getting to
• 4:55
  Speaker 6: work when it would snow because I didn't have the
• 4:57
  Speaker 6: proper tires nor did they make them for that vehicle.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: No they didn't, But.
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like that was always a stress.
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: I'd be looking out the window at like eleven o'clock
• 5:05
  Speaker 6: at night and it's snowing, and I'm like, I need money.
• 5:09
  Speaker 6: May not be able to get to work from not
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: taking UTA.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Which, by the way, though Utah Transit Authority.
• 5:16
  Speaker 6: Is the nicest one, but it does not do like
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: metro Metro gets you there. I would for me to
• 5:22
  Speaker 6: get to work from a seventeen minute drive, it was
• 5:24
  Speaker 6: an hour and forty five minute bus ride.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Beyond not doing it unacceptable.
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: Wow, No, I'd rather get strike.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I have to say, I think there was no bigger
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: stressor for me, And I wrote about this in my book,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: so it's not like I'm sharing anything new. But my
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: biggest stressor, I think was when I think about my
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: stress now and what I've been stressed about back in
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: the day, during not childhood, but my teen years when
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: the recession happened in two thousand in an eight and
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: my dad basically lost everything, and quite frankly, had my
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: mom not had a job or been smart with her money,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I think we would have lost our house. I was very,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: very concerned. It was like, not only was their stress
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: in the home about you know, what was going to
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: happen with Yeah, Easton went out and got a job,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I started working. You know, there were times my dad,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: who by the way, is like everything in the world
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: to me, I don't have a bad thing to say,
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: And I know shit happens as I get older.
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: I know shit happened contracting, and that's the biggest thing.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: It's the biggest thing that got hit. You watch housewives
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: during that point in time, and anyone in that line
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: of work really got hit hard and couldn't really recover.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: But my dad would come and ask me for money
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: to like fill up his car with gas, right, and
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: like I wouldn't tell my mom, and it just that
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: was a very very stressful time just in life, right,
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: not knowing if your parents were gonna make it through
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: after you're like, I've known this for eighteen years and
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: now like my parents are kind of at each other's
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: throats because money is a huge stressor in people's households.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: But then it was like, are we gonna be able
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: to like live in this house still? Which it was
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: a big, beautiful home and we were very fortunate for
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: many years. But I remember talking to my parents being like,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: let's downsize. I don't care, like I just want the
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: arguing the household to stop, right, you know.
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah, No, I remember asking that too, and then I
• 7:33
  Speaker 6: just remember mom saying with like the space that we
• 7:36
  Speaker 6: have in the mortgage. She was like, I were in
• 7:38
  Speaker 6: a better position than if we were to do something else. Right,
• 7:41
  Speaker 6: So I was like, all right, because dad built the house,
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: so it's not like we owed a shitload, you know.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Right, No, But I the reason I'm bringing that up
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: is because I think there are times where maybe people
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: look at certain people's lives and they think that there's
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: never been a stress in the world. And I think,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: no matter who you are, there's tremendous stress, whether you
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: can relate to it or not. I think money's a
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: very relatable one. And even though that may not be
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: a stress today, for me, it's trauma. There's trauma from before.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: And I'm pretty damn sure that I can't promise tomorrow.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I may not be financially okay tomorrow. And I think
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: that's what I learned from my dad, that like we
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: went from like we didn't live like a lavish lifestyle,
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: but we didn't go without no, not at all. If
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I want to do sneakers, if I wanted to, if
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: we wanted to go to Hawaii, we could do those things.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: To Like, I'm I can't ask my dad for ten bucks, Yeah.
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: I'd feel so bad asking for money.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, by the way, it's all I mean.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: I know people will come out and be like, oh,
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: you can't stress about money, you're whatever.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: But it's all relative.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: And I learned this working for very wealthy families when
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: I was a nanny.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: And armchair expert Dak Shepherd.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: He said when he first started getting into acting, he
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: started getting all this.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Money and he was like, I could buy all these things,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: and he was rich.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I guess rich. And he's still up until a few
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: years ago. Every day he would worry because of the
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: trauma when he was growing up. I'm gonna wake up
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: and it's all gonna be gone, Like my money's gonna
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: be gone.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: And he's like, and I understood. I'm a smart person.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: I understood that's not reality. But it didn't matter. It
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: was like I always feared, like something's gonna happen and
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna lose everything. So we can Money can be
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: a stressor if you're extremely wealthy or whatever. It's all relative.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have to do with how much is in
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: your bank account. It has to do with a lot money.
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: What trauma do you have behind me?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Well, we all have a very personal relationship with money. Yeah,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: very yes. What are your stressors?
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: My stressor? I'll talk about one that I mean, you know,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I've had.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: Like classic stressors in my life, but I'll talk about
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: one today is age.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: And it's weird for me.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: I'm thirty two, so I know I'm saying this already
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: and people are like, oh, shut up, because I said
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: it when I was like, you know, twenty five, I'd
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: be like, oh, I'm twenty five, and like thirty year
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: olds would be like shut up. But it's interesting as
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: a woman, I go back and forth, like I'm thirty two.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: We have the biological clock we can't ignore, and you
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: just kind of go back and forth or like what
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: do I want out of life? I'm thirty two, and
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: every day it's like one day I'm like, I don't
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: have to worry about that.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Stop stressing. It's twenty twenty four? Is it twenty twenty five?
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: Y twenty twenty four?
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: And then another day and the next day I'll be like, no,
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: I have to worry about that, Like I have to
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: because I'm a woman.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: So I just go back and forth.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: That's a stressor that like is not a stressor because
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: I can be logical and think like It'll all happen
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: how it's supposed to.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: But it's one that comes.
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: Up here that is that's a big stressor for me
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: now that you say it.
• 10:55
  Speaker 6: Ah, yeah, because I'm thinking, Okay, I want to be
• 10:59
  Speaker 6: successful in business that I'm enjoying. I also want to
• 11:03
  Speaker 6: find somebody. And every day I'm like, I got time.
• 11:06
  Speaker 6: And I've been saying this for a while and it's like,
• 11:08
  Speaker 6: oh no, I don't have that much time.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: You do, I know, but you do have time.
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: It is like, but it's a stress because I have time,
• 11:16
  Speaker 6: but I want it sooner than later.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: But I think also you're thinking about things as very
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: black and white. You could find someone tomorrow at this age,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: and there's no guarantee that that's going to work out
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: to where you're sitting going, well, I got I want
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: to find someone new. I mean, think about Ben Affleck
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: and Jennifer Garner. I mean they met, got divorced, he
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: got back with j Lo. I've heard there on the rocks. Now,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: like that's not a solid thing to have. When you
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: say I want to find somebody, well, that isn't even
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: guaranteed to last.
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: But like kids, I mean, that's the thing that's the stressor.
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: It isn't. So it's like do you all do you Okay?
• 12:02
  Speaker 6: Because I want family, I will also want to be
• 12:05
  Speaker 6: you know, financially stable where I don't worry about what
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: anything costs, where I can have one or two kids
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: and not worry about their college being paid for because
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: I have that, Like I want that structure. And that's
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: a stressor for me of like, okay, I have to
• 12:19
  Speaker 6: work there. I am getting older, I need to hurry right,
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: and then I'm you know, I don't want to be
• 12:26
  Speaker 6: a sixty year old father.
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: With a ten year old kid. I get that, you know,
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: and then shout out to everyone that's doing that. But
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: like you want that for you?
• 12:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, my dad was an older dad for me, I
• 12:36
  Speaker 6: he would you know, we do things, but he was older.
• 12:38
  Speaker 6: I could see it, like I want to be you know.
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: So that's a stress for me of like I'm not
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: looking for a wife at that, you know, Like it's weird.
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: I'm looking for a family, but I don't know if
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: a girl or a wife is in it. Like I
• 12:53
  Speaker 6: just want kids.
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: But that's the stressor of it, Like which way do
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: I go about it?
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Do you think that something society puts on us, or
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: do you think that that we're built that way?
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: What start about family?
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Just about the where you should be in life at
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: a certain point in time.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I definitely think it's a societal thing.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: And I think that like to your point, Lala, Yes,
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: you can be a person who goes, oh, well I
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: want this at this age and then so you I'm
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: not gonna say settle, but some people do and they go, well,
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: I'm already thirty, so sure I'm gonna get married and
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: I'm going to have a baby because that's what I want.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: And then you end up which is fine, but maybe
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: you end up divorced, maybe you end up sharing a child,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: sharing custody, and so it is. It's an interesting dynamic
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: because you did get the marriage and you got the kid,
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: but then your future maybe doesn't look how you wanted.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I think that's the biggest thing when people start
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: thinking about how they pictured their life. The best way
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I can put it is one day I had a dad,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: in the next day I did not. Things change like that.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: So you may be sitting here not knowing which way
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: or direction you want to go. The universe is going
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: to push you one way or the other no matter
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: what and in order for me personally to find peace
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: in things that have happened in my life, I have
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: to believe that there was a well thought out plan
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: for me before I even landed on this earth, you know.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: So that's the way that I felt I'm able to
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: deal with things that I do get extremely stressed about.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: One of them is a custody battle. Like you said,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I never in a million years imagined my life being
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: that way. This way, so nothing is set in stone.
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: But it's a stress of the you know, of course
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: it's a stress.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Of course, no, and you have to work through those moments.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: I think that's the biggest thing is how do we
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: work through the moments that we cannot control. It is
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: very hard. I don't care who you are. Everyone likes
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: to control in So that's.
• 15:00
  Speaker 6: The one thing that I am trying to let go of.
• 15:03
  Speaker 6: Thank God for the med shut out my doctor. Yeah,
• 15:06
  Speaker 6: but yeah, like that's the thing. Like I stress about
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: things constantly. I'd stress over things that like you were
• 15:11
  Speaker 6: doing or mom, not even.
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: You didn't even need me.
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: I just stress about it because I just was like,
• 15:17
  Speaker 6: you know, how can I help?
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: But I couldn't help, you know, there's nothing to do.
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: There's nothing to do, but it's a stress and it's
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: like for.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: What right, what do our friends say in the chat?
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: What are they stressed about?
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: And we've got a lot of great thank you guys
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: for writing in money.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: This is a good one. So money is definitely one
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: of the bigger ones. But there's a there's a.
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: Bun but there are like about money specifics.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Yes, so we've got specifics about money and so here's
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: a specific about money saving for retirement.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: That's a good one.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because you think you know saving up and people
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: have different Yes, that's a great stressor this one being
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: a mom, they are my biggest blessings.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong, but I'm sure.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: I mean I'm not a mom, but do you stress
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: about being a mom and if you're doing a ride
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: or not doing a ride.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Or I think it goes back to when ocean pushes
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: me just a little too far and then I have
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: a tremendous amount of just like guilt on was I
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: too tough on her today? And then my mom will
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: have to step in and say, you know, today was
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: a trying day. She wasn't giving you any wiggle room.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: You had to hit a certain point to get her
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: to listen. But I think no matter what, there's a
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: lot of guilt that comes with being a parent some
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: days where you're like, did I give them what they
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: needed today? Do they feel safe? Do they know that
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I'm always going to be here? Do they know why
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: I had to put them in check so many times?
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Or am I being looked at like the enemy? It's
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: being a mom is tough, yes, very tough.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Can't imagine. So I hear it.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: The best, like she brings me all the joy in
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: the world, But I'm constant looking at her like are
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: you going to like me forever?
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: Oh? Why would you say that?
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: It's it?
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: It's a mom thing, I know.
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: But like that's the thing, like how many times mom
• 17:11
  Speaker 6: had to discipline you?
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: And how many times you and mom.
• 17:13
  Speaker 6: Have battled face like you know kids and look at
• 17:18
  Speaker 6: you and mom.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: I mean my dad, my dad was, I mean, he's
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: his His mom is living. My grandma now is living
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: with my dad and mom in Arizona, trying to find
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: her own place.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: She and this is like not people know he said
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: it before.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: I mean for years she was just gone, she was
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: just gone, never there, leave the kids home alone. It
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: was like it was not a good upbringing. And now
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: they're best friends. I'm not saying that's what this is,
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: but my whole point is like, there's.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: She or her mom.
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: No.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: But I was trying to check her the other day
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: and I wanted her to go to bed, and I
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: had to get stern with her because she would not listen.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: And it was like, we're pushing midnight, like we're done, Yeah,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Gigi is asleep. Stop asking for Gigi. You want to
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: go into your own room. You can blow the roof
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: off the fucking house, play with your toys all night.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I don't care. And she's like, mom, be nice to me,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: and I was like, listen. So I got down here
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: and I was like, Ocean, I've asked you so many
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: times to please go to bed, So when Mommy gets
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: that way, I am being nice, but I need you
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: to listen and you're not listening. And she goes, she goes,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: look at me. He grabs my face and she goes,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: you do not need to lose your mind.
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: And I was like, you could have grabbed her and
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: said you just need to listen.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: But it's like I love you, but you're trying me
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: and you made me hit a hundred with you at midnight,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: and I regret this because I know you know what
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: a fucking saying she does, So then I have guilt.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, hey this.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Oh do you guys worrying about my health in the future?
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Do you guys ever stress about constantly?
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Because right he just keeps smacking that vape like a chance.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: It's so hard, though, and I'm really worried about my health.
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: I'm so worried where's the vape? And then where's my week?
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: I'm stressed.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Even that stress will kill you. So it's like, am
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: I gonna we've been gonna.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Kill I love that you said that, though, because my
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: mom I was super stressed during my breakup. I'm getting
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: sweating last one, and my mom was like, I really
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: want you to give up the vape, and I'm like, mom,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: by the way, no, I have not been vaping during pregnancy.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: By the way, some people have asked me, how's it
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: going with the vape during what Sometimes.
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: It's second nature for me.
• 19:55
  Speaker 6: So I just have it in the car and Larna
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: look at me and she goes, can you fucking put
• 19:59
  Speaker 6: that thing away?
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: We'll be because I don't think about it until.
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: I see it. She sees it, and then she's like,
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: but it's wild.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: People asking me how is it going. I'm like, well,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: I'm pregnant. I've not been vabing, but I told my mom,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you have to understand the stress of my
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: life right now is going to kill me. Long before
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: the vape trussed that.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, stress is a killer, and then it's also like
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: and then I'm stressed that I'm stressed.
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: How long have vapes been out?
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: How long a vapes?
• 20:30
  Speaker 6: I want to say they've been out since like twenty
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: eleven twelve, Remember when you would actually have to put
• 20:36
  Speaker 6: the cotton in them? And I'm just I'm getting to
• 20:38
  Speaker 6: a point. Wouldn't we know if we were all going
• 20:40
  Speaker 6: to be dying at this point, I need.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: To hit her mess.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I like cigarettes, cigarettes took a while now, But guess what.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: I have a friend whose grandma does nothing but chain
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: smokes cigarettes and she has like five hundred cats nice
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: and she's like ninety nine years old, smokes in the
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: house all day all day long.
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: You guy would what I'm.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Saying it not to be morbid.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: I sit here and I'm trying to be like, eat
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: organic and not use the wrong deodorant. I could get
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: hit by a car tomorrow and that doesn't I'm really
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: be careful driving.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: But that if you see me, don't speed up.
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: But that old speed up.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: The same fifty to fifty own bilical hernia?
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: What is it sticking out? No, I might loss away.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna pass away. Stop let me see.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: No.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, my head, I'm going down. I'm going down.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Lalla. We need to bring you to the hospital. You
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: guys should know.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I'm calling someone. I've got to call someone for that.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I just had an appointment with roth Bark. I know,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I think, Lala, No, he said, I mean it's something
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: sometimes it happened. Yeah, and I'm gonna have to have surgery.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: They're gonna have to mush it. I just pray to
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: God it doesn't get worse.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: What do you mean messh it like a regular like
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: it's just like a hernia, like in your groin area
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: when you live too much.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know why I have it. It's not from
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: working out, it's from laughing.
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: Like really, yes, Oh so you need to like finger
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: your hold it in your baby will.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: But can I tell you the biggest issue I have
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: with the umbilical hernia. It's like, dude, I want to
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: show the bump. Okay, I didn't get to show all
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: of COVID. No one cared.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: You could show the bump. But it's just not the
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: baby bump. It's the hernia bump.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I don't know. I'm sorry you guys, but
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: you guys love a relatable queen.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: She's a relatable queen.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I hate when people, by the way, that makes me
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: want to bitch slap someone more than someone saying relatable queen,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: or when someone does hearthands.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: Do you want to know what? Do you want to
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: know what a big stressor is for me?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Even your fingers are like ogi, my fingers are so disgusting. Okay,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: sorry that I had to expose you guys. It's okay,
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, But who do I have to impress?
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: You know, we're sorry about the hernia lot.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: What's the next time we're even talking about stressors?
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: Right?
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Stress about my my hernia? Okay?
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: Health?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Health is a stressor.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: We've got juggling, So this is a stressor juggling a
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: work life balance.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: I hear that.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: So yeah, juggling, like between working and living life.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: And enjoying life. I feel like we all can feel that, do.
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: You know, and being able to separate them, yeah, and just.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Being able to like, can you not I feel like it.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Might be hard for you. Well, I don't relate to that.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: You don't Why no, Well.
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: I think right now with everything with just like filming,
• 24:12
  Speaker 6: like those are your colleagues, you used to hang out
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: with them, and now you don't know.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, no, that's definitely stressful. But I feel that
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I there are moments where I'm like, Okay, there's too
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: much work happening, and like I want to spend time
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: with my kids, like I don't like what's happening. But
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I feel for the most part, we've really created a
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: balance between work life and me enjoying my life. However,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: that being said, I also knew from a very young age.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: My dad told me, I want you to do something
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: that you love to do. Because you're at work more
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: than you're at home pretty much, you have to be
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: on more than you get to take off. And so
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I always knew like, I don't want to be controlled,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I don't want a boss. I want to be my
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: own boss. And so I really structured my life at
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: a very young age, and I'm definitely grateful because it
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: doesn't happen for everybody. I'm sure everyone would love to say, well,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: I don't want to fucking boss either.
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's life.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got fortunate enough to land in a position
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: in my career what I do for a living that
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I really get to make my own schedule. Obviously, when
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: we film, it's a different story. But it's only a
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: few months out of the year. It's really tough when
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: we film because I don't get to see my daughter.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I don't get to control when I see my daughter
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: as much. I can't text Jessica and say book me
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: out from this time to this time. But I'm enjoying
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing. Yeah, so I still feel like I'm
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: pretty balanced.
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: I'm I'm well separated. You've learned how to separate your
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: work and your Yeah.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Well except this season, but yes, because.
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: That's the other thing. Land Landing hangs out with a
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: life a lot of his co workers.
• 26:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah, And then me and him were talking about it
• 26:04
  Speaker 6: and he was like, yeah, usually when we go out,
• 26:07
  Speaker 6: we talk about work and he goes and sometimes I
• 26:10
  Speaker 6: get sick of it. And he was like, and that's
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: where like he's very good at conversation because of that.
• 26:14
  Speaker 6: He was like, I will do anything with my coworkers
• 26:18
  Speaker 6: to not talk about work. And he was like, because
• 26:20
  Speaker 6: I need to separate that part of it, because he
• 26:23
  Speaker 6: was like, because if I didn't, I'd be working twenty
• 26:25
  Speaker 6: four to seven just with the conversation because you're.
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: In sales, Like that's the thing.
• 26:29
  Speaker 6: And I think Landin has done very well at that,
• 26:31
  Speaker 6: and I've taken like pieces of how he's done it.
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: But yeah, it is hard to do, like when you
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: are in those things.
• 26:37
  Speaker 6: I think it's hard for me to even think about
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: it now just because I'm not in that life.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, right, And guess what, Also, don't beat
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: yourself up over it too if you're just like especially
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: if you're maybe not a mom and don't have a
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: partner or have a very understanding partner, and there are
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: times in life where you do just want to sink
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: into work because there's a lot you want to get done.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Like, do it. I don't know, that's how hard?
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: No, right or wrong?
• 26:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you're enjoying work and you want to work twenty
• 27:01
  Speaker 6: four to seven and fuck men or women? Yes, and
• 27:04
  Speaker 6: not that legitimately, I'm just saying, like you don't want
• 27:07
  Speaker 6: to talk to anybody. You want to just grind work,
• 27:09
  Speaker 6: go out with your friends and still be working while
• 27:11
  Speaker 6: with your friends.
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: Go and do it. I know a lot of people
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: like that. There's workaholics, yes, or.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: Work ten days in a row and then be like, Okay,
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: I'm going to take this Saturday and not work at all.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Like just life is your life, right, there's.
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: No right or wrong.
• 27:25
  Speaker 6: I don't e stress yourself over something you have the
• 27:28
  Speaker 6: you know that you're creating yourself.
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: It's like almost like am I doing this right? Oh
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: now I have stress because I'm thinking of it. So
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: I just don't even think about it. Buddy.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think life we should take on the number
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: one rule of sobriety as like sometimes it's one day
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: at a time, other times it's one minute at a time.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Like life is very intense and again one day I
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: had a dad. The next day I didn't like. Life
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: changes very quickly. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down, just
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: one day at a time.
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: Time.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: The money stressors, those ones are a tough one to conquer.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I know that some banks offer retirement plans, like you
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: can go in and meet with them and it's it's
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: not like having a business manager where you have to
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: pay commission. They'll tell you they'll look at how much
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: you make.
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: I think it's insane.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and they can you can budget out like what
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: your car payment is, insurance, and then what percentage that
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: you can start putting into a retirement fund.
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: And isn't that what they're doing with acorn.
• 28:32
  Speaker 6: It's like if something is a dollar ninety, yeah, it
• 28:39
  Speaker 6: charges you too using that card and it puts that
• 28:41
  Speaker 6: extra ten cents into your savings.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: That's a genius.
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so that's really change.
• 28:46
  Speaker 6: So yeah, so it could be like ten cents because
• 28:49
  Speaker 6: it was a dollar ninety or it could have been
• 28:50
  Speaker 6: a dollar ten and now it's ninety cents.
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: So now you know that went into your savings.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: There is, Yes, there is change adds up.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: I started doing that why ago, with like every paycheck
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: I got. I was like, no matter what, I started
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: like twenty bucks in savings and I know it's like
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: and I just pretended it wasn't there, And it adds up.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: It really does.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Here are some steps though, you guys, since I saw money,
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: I'll read these quickly. Some steps you can take to
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: mentally deal with the fear of money.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: Whether or wherever you are.
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: Acknowledge the fear number two, identify the root cause. Three,
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: practice mindfulness. Four, create a plan, five, set financial goals. Six,
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: make a budget, seven schedule money check ins. And then
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: there's educate yourself on money takes very small steps and
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: visualize success. And then lastly practice self compassion.
• 29:42
  Speaker 5: Love it.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: I love all those things and I appreciate you looking
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: them up fresh ChIL oh, I think your beings are No,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: I'm being very serious. I was kind of and I
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: think that those steps could go into literally any any
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: part of life. Yes, So just so you know, I
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: think it helps. Misery loves company. If you're stressed, just
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: know you're not the only one you know. And on
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: days that you're miserable, just know you're not the only
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: one you know. We're all just out in these streets
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: doing the best we can, and sometimes we can relate
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: on topics, other times we can't. But just know we're
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: right here.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: As my daughter does, right there.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: She flips it.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: That's so cute.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: Best we can is good enough, and that's to give
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: them all a podcast.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: That's exactly right. You guys, Thank you for listening to
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: the bonus episode of the give them all a podcast,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: video and audio drop same day, which bonuses every single Monday,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: and then you can catch the video on YouTube same day.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: I love you guys, don't forget too, what is it?
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: Comment like?
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Subscribe on the YouTube channel. Make sure you catch our
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: regular episodes on Wednesday. Thank you, love you Bye,