Latest / Amazing Life Breakthrough / Ep 32 | The Leader Sets the Tone

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Ep 32 | The Leader Sets the Tone · Amazing Life Breakthrough

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Has there been a time when someone asked you to head up something?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: It could be for work, for home, maybe it's for a sports activity your children are in.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you are a student in school and your teacher or professor has asked you to take on something in a leadership role.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, what I'm asking is, have you ever walked into something as the temporary leader and felt like the whole room was waiting for you to fail?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not because they said it out loud, but you could feel it.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: The folded arms, the sideways comments, the polite distance, that invisible windstorm that makes you question, why did I say yes to this?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I want to talk about today, because leadership isn't just about having a title.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's about what you do when you're responsible, and the mood in the room starts working against you.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Amazing Life Breakthrough.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Steve Klein, and today's breakthrough is simple, but it will change how you lead.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: The leader sets the tone.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: This story goes back to a season where I was a software engineer by trade, building systems, solving problems, working in that lane.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: But our department had a gap.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't have enough project managers, and I was asked to step in as an interim project manager.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: What was supposed to be temporary turned into two years.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so, needless to say, I was already stretching, leading projects, coordinating people, managing expectations, while still having that identity in the back of my mind.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a software engineer, I'm filling a gap.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then right in the middle of that, I was also chair of the employee activities committee, and the CEO asked me to take on something big, put on the annual Christmas party on site, inside the building.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now I want you to feel the scope of this.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: This was a large healthcare organization, nonprofit, but equivalent in size and complexity to a Fortune 100 kind of environment.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: At this particular location, there were over a thousand employees, a massive building with a whole bunch of suites, more than a dozen, and the traditional Christmas party people were used to off-site, big venue, spouses, family, alcohol, the whole thing.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: But this year it was changing.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: No off-site venue, no spouses, no alcohol.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And the building didn't have a single space where you could just cram a thousand people into one room at one time.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Logistically, it was a puzzle.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Emotionally, it was a protest waiting to happen.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And here's where leadership gets real.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't help at first, because instead of stepping up with a clear, confident tone, I started by acknowledging all the reasons people wouldn't like it.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: I basically came in with something like, I know many of you may not like this, and we can't do what we used to do, and it won't have what it used to have.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, I led with apology.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what happened next is what always happens when a leader leads with doubt, the team starts to doubt too.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Support got thin, people distanced themselves.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Some of my own committee didn't believe it was worth it.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Half the team quit.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: About seven out of fifteen because they didn't believe in the mission.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I had helped create that mood.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Meetings got rough, people were loud, people criticized.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Some well-known leaders in the building kept their distance because they didn't want their names attached to something they assumed would be a failure.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember hitting that wall where you think, okay, maybe this isn't going to work.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I went to the CEO, and I'll never forget what he told me.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't give me a perfect map.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't solve the problem for me.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Steve, you can figure this out.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then he said something that landed like a weight and a gift at the same time.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: The leader sets the tone.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized what he meant.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Tone isn't a personality trait.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Tone is vision.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Tone is belief.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Tone is the emotional thermostat of the room.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if I set the thermostat to disappointment, guess what everyone would feel?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Disappointment.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: But if I set it to possibility, if I genuinely decided we could make this great, then I could change everything.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I did.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped focusing on what we weren't getting, and I started painting what we could create.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we got creative.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: We brought in Dickens carolers, roaming the halls so the sound of Christmas literally traveled through the building and drew people out.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: We did a Christmas tree decorating contest across the suites, so the crowd dispersed across the entire location instead of bottlenecking into one space.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: We used the cafe area for catering so people float in and out.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: We gave away prizes, we went big on decorations, and because we weren't paying for a huge venue and all the extras, we were able to send everyone home with a Christmas ornament.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And something else happened as I shifted the tone.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: My people showed up, the HR director backed me, another leader stepped in.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Volunteers came out of the woodwork.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: The team grew again, not because it was easy, but because belief is contagious.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Your vibe attracts your tribe.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then the day of the event came.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: It was a huge success, the kind of success where people talk about it for days, the kind of success where the energy in the building surprises even the skeptics.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the part that taught me something I've never forgotten.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: The very people who distanced themselves before suddenly wanted to align themselves during the event.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And they came up to me as the event was unfolding with wide-eyed enthusiasm and said something like, Wow, this is great.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: How can I help?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not because they suddenly became different people, just because success attracts attachment.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it showed me something about leadership that I think you need if you're leading anything right now.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Some people will only clap once the crowd is already clapping, but your real people, they were with you before it was popular.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: They were with you when it was uncertain.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: They were with you when you were pushing into the windstorm.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And the best confirmation came the next day.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: A group of about 50 project managers and leaders were in a training with an outside consultant.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: The consultant asked, Do you have a recent example of a project at your company that was done really well?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And someone shouted out, The Christmas party Steve Klein put on yesterday.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the whole room broke into applause.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now remember, this wasn't my full-time profession at the time.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was just filling in.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: But here were about 50 project managers in various roles and departments clapping at my effort, and those on my team that made it happen.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: They were, in essence, acknowledging my leadership, and I remember thinking, wow, I'm so honored.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, these people did this day in and day out, and I now had so much respect for what they did on a daily basis.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: It taught me that leadership is more than just managing timelines and resources.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's also about faith, direction, and leading by example.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I want you to take from this, especially if you feel like you're leading in the minority right now.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: First, if you're the leader, you don't just manage tasks, you manage tone.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: People borrow belief from you before they can generate their own.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Second, if you start negative, you can recover, you can reset, but you have to own it.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes the biggest obstacle isn't the room, it's the leader's own posture.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Third, find your people and lead with them.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need everyone, you need the right ones.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, don't be surprised when late supporters show up after success.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Notice it, learn from it, but don't let it harden you.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Just remember who was with you when it was hard.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Here's your simple challenge for today.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you're leading anything at work, at home, in a volunteer role, ask yourself, what tone am I setting right now?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's doubt, apology, or dread, choose one sentence you're going to start saying that sets a different tone.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Something like, we're going to figure this out, or this can be great, or here's what's possible.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because the leader sets the tone.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's it for this episode.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you found value out of this episode, would you consider subscribing to the podcast?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you can also support us financially by going to our website, AmazingLifebreakthrough.com, or clicking on the link in the description below.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And remember to live life to the fullest.