Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Prank 28 Oct 2026

Transcript

Prank 28 Oct 2026 · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop. Stop what you're doing.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Prank call from Darren Wackhead Simpson. Exclusive to KFM Mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, so if you've got kids, no doubt you've planned
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: where you're going to be doing your Halloween trick-or-treating on Saturday.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Some are doing it on Friday. Got to go out,
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: find an outfit today for the kids.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Get creative. Are you taking the little guys out? Of course.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: I've got outside babies, eh? And it works out for everyone.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: You want to take them out because then they fall
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: asleep faster.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Have you picked the route that you're taking? Do you
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: know if there's going to be people involved when you're
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: knocking on doors? Some suburbs take it very seriously.
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: I don't think it's something that we do where we.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Are at, eh?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: My area, full. Full, full, full.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: So you've got your route planned?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: Okay, so you might just see me in your hood there.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no. Come to our side.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: And tell me, how's your candy?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Is the quality good? Because I don't want to... Don't
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: be wasting our time, you know, uncle.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, look. There are some people that try to
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: give healthy options. Would that be like dates?
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: No, no.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Dates are amazing, auntie.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: No, I went to the one and it was like.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: You know, it's about sweets, let's be honest, right? And
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: the one stand was like at the house. They gave
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: carrot sticks with a dip.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: With the hummus?
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: With the hummus.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Why do I like these snacks?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: And like cucumber quarter rounds. It was like, this is
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: just no fun. Come grab a cucumber, put it in
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: the dip. Eat and enjoy. Be on your way. Next house.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Let the kids have like one chaotic candy day.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. And I'll tell you this.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Business as usual after.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Most of the time, they don't even eat any of it. Yeah.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: It's just more the game of collecting.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Yeah. So that's what we're doing today. Going and
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: finding an outfit. We're going to have to find some
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: sweets someplace.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Are you dressing up as well?
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll go.
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: Have you guys ever done like the family outfits?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: No, no, no. So I'll go as this guy called
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Wackett Simpson. Good costume.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: Maybe you guys are dressing up like the Addams Family
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: or the Incredibles.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Your kids must dress.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Up as you. No, no, they go as all sorts.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: I'll go as... I just put on my working clothes.
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: You guys must dress up like the Simpsons once.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. It's a good idea, actually. But so, you know,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I have my telemarketing persona where I try to sell
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: you great products and constant and never-ending endeavor to hit
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: that thing that sticks and then I become a billionaire
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: and you'll never see me again. All right, I'll be
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: on a yacht playing my yacht rock and cruising the Caribbean.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: No, you'll be at work, Darren.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Guys, it's been real, but I'm out of here. You're probably, no,
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: you're absolutely right. But so this lady hates telemarketers. And
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: so it's easy pickings, really. But you know what? I
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: always say, if you want to make a billion, solve
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: a problem. And here I'm solving a problem specifically for Halloween. Zelda, hello? Hi, Zelda.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: My name is Jeffrey. I'm calling you from Halloween.net. How
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: are you today?
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: Fine, and you?
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: We provide a treat pack for Halloween. So when kids
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: come knocking at your door, you are not going to
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: be left unprepared. Okay, I'm not interested.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: No, well, basically it's a pack that costs you 500 Rand.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: And let me tell you, you'll get six packets of knick-knacks,
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: 22 fizzes, pink ones, 10 green ones, 12 bite-sized ball ones,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: and 60 sugoos. No, thank you very much.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I'm not interested. All right.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: It's a variety pack of wonderful kids, ma'am. You will
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: also throw in 30 smoothies. Remember those old smoothies? You
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: can choose between raspberry, strawberry, mint or orange.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, no, thank you. I'm not interested.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: All right. Ma'am, if you buy now, we'll throw in
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: 10 Kit Kat fingers as well and 12 Romany creams. Zelda, hello? Boo!
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Guess who? It's Halloween.net.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm really not interested.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Ma'am, what I was saying is that we have bite-sized Rolos.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: We have Rolos, Lunch Bars, Twixes, Peppermint Crisps, all in
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: the bite-sized form. Perfect to just dip your hand into
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: this box and give it to the kitties. Don't answer that.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Don't answer that. You answered it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Hello?
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Hello? 4 rolls of super C's, 10 toffees and 16
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: jib jibs. If you prefer a healthier option, then we
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: have the special bags that come with 12 fruit rolls,
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: 22 bags of peanuts and 16 cubes of tofu. I
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: really don't want your packages. Don't answer that. Don't answer
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: that phone. Don't answer that phone. Just judging by the
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: way that you've treated me, it seems like you wouldn't
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: even need to dress up for Halloween. Sorry? You can
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: go as yourself.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Bye.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: You can go as yourself. Is there something wrong with
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: your ears? Listen, can you hear me? Can you hear? Oh, no.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Can you hear me?
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Ma'am, but basically... Can you hear me?
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: No.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Ma'am, basically for five... I'm so not interested in that.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Don't answer that phone. Don't answer that phone. Sorry. Hello?
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Are you speaking to Wackhead Simpson?
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: Hello?
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Hello?
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Excuse me. she's put the phone down again.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Overwhelmed but good manners busy office.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: I think that was a value bag though Hey, Linus,
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: would you buy that?
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Yes, I want the 60 sukas.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but look, all the biscuits are broken, though. No,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: it's fine.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I'll make tart.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: All the sweets have expired.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, snap. By how many weeks? But expiration is more
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: just like a heads up, not like it's not edible.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: This is why I'm asking, how many weeks? Yeah, like
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: there's some wiggle room.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: You know, it's actually a good point. I pulled a
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: sauce out the fridge the other day. And I looked,
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: I haven't used the sauce for a long time. It
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: expired in 2021. Whoa. And I thought, it's probably still good.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Maybe that was the production date. No, no, no. That
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: was the expiry date.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. That's a game you don't want to
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: play now.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: No, no, no. This is a game you want to play.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Go to your fridge, pull out your sauces and check
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: the expiry dates.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: No, I've done that before. That's never going to happen
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: in my house. It's time for Ikea out and I
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: use it all up. I'm like, That one, that one,
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: that one. Let's just create something with it and it's
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: out the door. Yeah.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Even throw water in it. Shake it up. We don't waste.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: You see, I think you get a bit of extra
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: if there's a vinegar in it.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: You get an extra five years. Extra life.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Five years. No, you're doing too much, Darren. You are
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: doing too much.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: All right. Listen, happy Halloween. If you want anybody prank, Darren,
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: it's at kfm.co.za. Sweet dreams now from Beyoncé. Here's some
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: of your comments from the prank this morning. Oh, no.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Does it just not work? Darren, I laughed so, so
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: loud and ugly in my car.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Thank God I'm alone.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: You don't even have to dress up for Halloween.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Classic. Darren, I want five packets of those, please. Five packets.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: That's a belief woman.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Of all the pranks we have done, this was the
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: smart one. Clean. And smooth.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: And it ended very well. No swearing. Nothing.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Nah, this was a clean one. This was a clean one.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Darren, I'm with you on that expiry date.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: That's just a suggestion.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in Cape Town. Fair Cape. Milk. Bruh.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I've had it a month for the expiry date.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: It's still not sour. Yeah. You know, I think I've
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: got a.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I've got a vinegar in the cup. It's still from
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: my bachelor days. Tangy. Mmm.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Why did you move or relocate to Cape Town with it?
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: No, no, he's talking nonsense.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: No, no, I'm not. I'm not. I don't even think
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: the company that made it still exists. This company, I think,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: closed down 15 years ago.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Was it a balsamic vinegar?
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: No, no, no. It was the white distilled vinegar. Okay. And,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: you know, actually, white distilled vinegar never expires.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Is that a fact?
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: It never, ever expires. But you're never going to touch
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: it again.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: No, no.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: When I do a Russian in chips, for sure, it's
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: still going. It's still kicking. You know what I mean?
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: You get a 750 ml. Who uses that in a
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: whole lifetime? You buy once. You buy white vinegar once.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: And you never have to buy it for the rest
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: of your life again.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: You must just come over to the Collison's you'll be
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: shocked really buy it in 5 litres because we don't
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: only use it for cooking these.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Days what do you use for cleaning.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Yes lots of things throw it in your washing machine
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: clean your washing machine.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's not my department in the house.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: No, you see, it is, it's multi-purpose.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Okay. Thank you, Vanis.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to remember anything you say.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Nothing at all. Nothing at all. That thing, I will
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: hand that bottle of vinegar down to my kids one day.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Telling you.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: My children have.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: Mistaken it For a five litre Water No.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Man That must have been fun for you.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: They didn't pour it They obviously then saw the label
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: But took it out And thinking It's water Not taking
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: note They're there in droves Those.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Bottles I tell you Being in the UK for a
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: week I had my fill of vinegar That's the only
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: flavour they know Salt and vinegar It's their culture But
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: I will tell you this. If you like salt and vinegar,
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: there's no better salt and vinegar in the entire world.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Slaps on that.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: Than the UK. Oh, no. It's unmatched. Unmatched. You can't
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: even come close. Okay, listen. It's time for your news
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: at 8.30.