Latest / Thick No More / Not Good Enough" to Unstoppable | Andy Vincent on Dyslexia, Trauma & Transformation

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Not Good Enough" to Unstoppable | Andy Vincent on Dyslexia, Trauma & Transformation · Thick No More

0:00
Hi everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Thick No
0:03
More. This is actually Season 3,
0:06
believe it or not, episode 1. So yeah, we've managed to get
0:09
through some heartbreak, I think for last season.
0:14
There was some real upsetting stories.
0:16
And I, I got a gentleman with me this morning who, when we spoke
0:20
on Instagram, there was a lot of connection between our past,
0:25
where we've been, you know, our stories.
0:26
He's got an incredible story to tell you.
0:28
So I want to introduce Andy Vincent to you.
0:30
Yeah, he, he, we're going to do what we always do.
0:33
I'm going to ask the same 2 questions that you guys already
0:36
know, but I really want to dig deep with Andy in two areas.
0:40
I want to talk about his pastor because that resonates with
0:42
everybody out there, all your parents that are listening.
0:44
What he's doing now is actually, well, it's changed me as an
0:47
individual, this technology, but the way he uses it is brilliant.
0:50
So I want to really dig deep in that and maybe we can kind of
0:54
touch on areas that will help you guys because that's what
0:58
this is all about. Think No More has always been
1:00
about, yes, telling stories, closing down labels, but trying
1:03
to give tools that help people. So Andy, welcome to Think No
1:07
More. Yeah, welcome.
1:08
It's excited to be here, really. So it's just, I've been on a
1:12
journey myself to like sort of, and we all know we had troubles
1:19
at school and we all had labels and that's why we resonated so
1:24
fast, you know, in the past. Yeah, we did.
1:26
We did. So listen, you're not going to
1:28
get away with it. You're going to get asked the
1:29
first question everyone get asked.
1:31
I've had some brilliant music answers to this.
1:34
So you you walk in a door, in a door and what happens?
1:37
I have this ability, ability to create magic, right?
1:39
So from now on, when you fling a door open, a tune is going to
1:43
start playing every time you open that door.
1:45
What's the song, my friend? Tell me.
1:47
Well, there was. Actually, I'm good.
1:49
There's two choices, but I'm going to tell you why I didn't
1:52
choose the first one. OK, go on.
1:54
First one. The first one was Eye of the
1:57
Tiger Survivor. OK now, because right from
1:59
Rocky, right? Great crack.
2:01
Yeah, Rocky, you're jumping up the stairs and jumping.
2:04
But I thought, no, I'm not a survivor, I'm a thriver.
2:08
So that's why I didn't choose that tune.
2:11
So yeah, so Journey is my song from sort of sort of don't stop
2:18
believing. Okay, okay, because I've found
2:21
for years not capable. But when you actually get that
2:24
belief in your mind, you know of you are good enough, you are
2:28
better than you think. Don't stop believing.
2:31
So that's where I chose that, that song really, because you go
2:35
through these things, through life, through life.
2:37
I'm thinking I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough.
2:40
And those beliefs stay with you if you let them so.
2:44
I do and I'm sure we're going to, I'm sure we're going to come
2:46
on to that at some point because yeah, I mean, you, you, you, you
2:50
in those, in those few sentences there, you've described every
2:52
neuro divergent journey. And some of us, some of us have
2:57
have a deeply traumatic journey, some of us not so traumatic.
3:02
But that song really for me, it's a great track.
3:04
And yeah, I think it's really easy to get coiled up.
3:09
Maybe you be ADHD, autistic, dyslexic, whatever it might be.
3:12
It's really easy to get called up and and get sucked up by the
3:16
system, you know, and it spits you out.
3:18
It's brutal, you know. So it's a great trackbase, mate.
3:23
I want it is kind of my music as well.
3:25
I like, I like, I like stuff of lyrics like that.
3:27
So yeah, it's a good one. OK, so right, let's let's go
3:31
back. Let's go back to as far back as
3:34
you want to go. Listen, this is about you only
3:39
tell the stories that you want to tell and that you want people
3:42
to hear. Give you an idea what kind of
3:44
people we have listening. I know you've listened to some
3:45
shows, but we get lots of parents listening.
3:48
Parents are probably my biggest, A band of listeners.
3:52
It's a global from Australia to the UK, Ireland to Spain, all
3:56
over. Parents are definitely the
3:58
biggest listeners. We get lots of individuals
4:00
listening, probably our age group.
4:01
Yeah. Take me back to take me back to
4:04
school. Take me back.
4:04
Where did you grow up in the UK? Start with and then let's go
4:07
back to school. I grew up in Portsmouth.
4:11
I didn't understand dyslexia. It wasn't a thing.
4:14
This is what it is. What year?
4:15
What year is this? What year?
4:17
What year? In the 80s, eighties, I'd say
4:20
early, late 70s, early 80s, you know, I left well, I think 1983.
4:27
OK, so you're. Similar to me, right?
4:30
Yeah, similar. Say I'm, I'm 60 now.
4:32
So I, so that gives you an idea of how long ago my schooling
4:36
was. And I didn't, and I was putting
4:39
those special reading classes, you know, and, and I struggled
4:43
with my confidence because I felt incapable, you know, and
4:47
it, you know, I put, went in the special classes and it didn't
4:50
help a thing. It didn't help because people it
4:53
wasn't understood. I do remember 1 teacher who made
4:57
a big impact on me and that was some Mr. Ellis, OK?
5:01
And that's what I can remember his name.
5:02
Because those people make an impact on your life.
5:05
You don't forget them. You know what?
5:07
Let's be honest, right? So I'm 50.
5:09
What am I, 54 this year? In those days of 70s and 80s,
5:13
yeah, Max, it wasn't a thing, right?
5:15
All cognitive learning and all neurodiversity didn't.
5:18
It? Didn't exist.
5:19
So for what? A teacher back then to kind of
5:22
make an impact on you. That's good, right?
5:25
Because he must have, he must have noticed, He must have
5:28
realized, you know, that something wasn't quite clicking,
5:32
something wasn't quite right. So for you to remember his name,
5:35
that tells me that he must have been a decent person and really
5:37
made extra effort, right? Yeah, it was, it was sort of the
5:40
sort of, I can remember the impact he made of me.
5:43
We, there was a show going on at a local theatre which the kids
5:46
were involved in. And oh, because I couldn't learn
5:50
the lines, I wasn't, but he took me under his wing and he, he, he
5:55
said, come and do the lighting with me.
5:56
And, you know, like you see the School of Rock, you know, where
5:59
he sees the kids make an impact because they're different.
6:03
And I don't know if he was dyslexic.
6:05
I'd never discovered that, you know, I don't know.
6:08
But he had something about him that he cared.
6:11
And that is one of the things which sticks with me of that
6:14
level of caring if that level came higher than higher.
6:18
So we all have better lives and, and that that's that's why that
6:24
made an impact. Now it wasn't just my school, OK
6:28
in here, my home life was very dysfunctional.
6:32
And this is quite vulnerable. So I just want to tell people
6:35
that it's like the struggles you have sometimes stick with you.
6:40
So my home life, my dad was an alcoholic, my mum had already
6:43
passed away from cervical cancer.
6:46
I had no role models, you know my dad because an alcoholic had
6:51
lodgers in one of the lodgers nearly burnt the house down
6:54
trying to deep fry spaghetti. Don't ask me why he was on some
6:58
sort of substances, but that's nothing.
7:02
All right. We used to have lodgers in and
7:04
this is the vulnerable part. People could see us vulnerable
7:08
and I was preyed on by and I was sexually abused by lodger.
7:12
My company horrible people go oh, oh, it now it doesn't affect
7:18
me no more because it's a part of made me who I am that caring
7:23
as well. So of of you can either take it
7:26
as a negative or take it as a positive.
7:29
So when you start thinking this is about breaking those beliefs,
7:35
really, you know, of thinking I'm not good enough, I'm not
7:38
smart enough, and this is how life should be.
7:40
Yeah. And structured.
7:41
Down No, no, it isn't. It isn't.
7:44
And that's important that you've said that because that is what
7:47
this is all about. It is it is that kind of it's
7:49
identifying that as dark as it is, as dark as it was for you in
7:53
those days, as dark as it was for me in those days.
7:56
And you know, I have moments that I remember vividly like you
7:59
obviously do as well. You know, you can really get
8:03
just pulled down by that and it is it is absolutely learning the
8:09
that's part of it. That's what you've been through
8:12
the song, right? You chose journey.
8:14
It's don't stop believing. You have to just take one step
8:17
forward every day, right, to try and make that a little bit
8:20
better. There was school was school was
8:23
school like it was for me, a complete washout.
8:25
Did it? Was it just a failure?
8:28
Yes and no. I was.
8:31
I didn't feel capable, but my school life was better than my
8:35
home life. OK.
8:36
So school was your out then right?
8:38
What was your YEAH release? Yeah, release because obviously
8:42
I, I had sometimes because my dad was an alcoholic, there was
8:46
no food in the house and that's where my hunger comes from
8:49
because I had hunger for success.
8:51
And when you got that hunger for success and the sort of that
8:55
thirst to become better thirst for knowledge, you know, and
9:00
this is where a lot of people fall down and think and they
9:03
still accepting it, who they are, they feel understood, they,
9:07
they stick with their behaviours, they fail to change,
9:12
they keep those habits. And when you do that, it's, it's
9:16
like it's always, it's unbelievable that there is a
9:19
brighter future. You know, you can, you can Start
9:22
learning, you can sort of have mentors start.
9:26
I started self development. And that actually is one of the
9:30
pivotal things that changed my life.
9:32
I work from for some with some really influential people, you
9:36
know, and top coaches in the world, and they taught me
9:41
patterns. And it's like dyslexia, but I
9:44
can't still read something I don't understand or something I
9:47
can't see. Yeah.
9:49
But when you look at it, the, the patterns of words and you
9:53
link the patterns together. Look pictures.
9:56
Yeah. When the pictures are there,
9:57
that's how I read. Does that make sense?
10:00
Yeah. No, totally.
10:01
It totally does. Yeah.
10:03
OK. That are you sorry?
10:04
You. You.
10:04
You. You.
10:05
You. You.
10:06
I'm dumbfounded. So you're you're you're at this
10:11
point when you're when you're having to, there's no food.
10:14
Are you? Are you still at school at this
10:16
point? I'm still.
10:17
At school I had three jobs at school to eat are.
10:20
You a teenager by now or what are you like?
10:23
I was at the age probably 30, just ending Junior School.
10:29
I forget the exact. 13 ish mate. I can't believe I'm hearing
10:35
this. This is just just.
10:36
I wouldn't nowadays, I would have taken been taken into care.
10:40
Yeah, totally. But those days the care system,
10:42
but that was very anti the establishment.
10:46
That makes sense, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:48
Work on On the Dole, you know. And yeah, well, everyone owed
10:53
him something, but I think he had his own problems, which I
10:56
didn't understand at the time himself.
10:57
Myself and I probably, yeah, you know, you, you think what we've
11:01
been through 70s and 80s, you think about what maybe the 60s,
11:04
fifties were like. I dread to think, you know,
11:07
things with education. Even now I'm, I've since I've
11:10
seen a lady on Instagram today crying over her son doing exams
11:13
is the third time, right? The system, the system isn't
11:16
made for people like me and you. It's a straight line.
11:18
It's it's, it's, it's, it's made-up of outcomes.
11:22
It's made-up of results. It's made-up of exams.
11:24
At the end. I don't know what it was like
11:25
for you, but for me, the moment, the moment Mr. Vincent said to
11:28
me, oh, we're going to do a test today.
11:31
I'm like, this is pointless. This is I didn't even remember
11:34
what the guy or the lady was teaching me.
11:36
Never mind, try and put a pen on the paper.
11:38
And you mentioned about pictures and everything I have.
11:41
I have great, great pictures and vivid images in in my mind, my
11:45
men, my photographic memory is unbelievable.
11:48
Relaying that into words and relaying that on a page or
11:51
reading a paragraph of text on a question and an exam for me was
11:56
a waste of time. So did you did you finish school
11:58
with any quote? Were you really?
11:59
What O levels, right? No, we I did have O level art I
12:04
had. CS and then that's interesting.
12:09
Bear in mind I know what you do now on Instagram, which we'll
12:12
come on to. So you you got O level art.
12:15
So there's a bit of artistic, a bit of an art artist in there.
12:18
Yeah. Yeah, I also got 13 CS ES or CS
12:24
ES. They were in those days.
12:25
Yeah. Yeah, because I stayed on school
12:27
an extra day, because an extra year, because I didn't, because
12:31
I didn't know what I was going to do.
12:33
You know, you kids don't know what they want.
12:35
They don't know their few. No and no.
12:38
No, no. And, and, and you've got all
12:40
this going on as well up there, right?
12:42
You've got the problems at home, the worries with your dad, the
12:45
worries about trying to eat every day, plus your jobs, plus
12:48
the fact you're going into a school which doesn't understand
12:51
you as an individual. And then someone's going to say
12:54
to you when you get to 1415 years old, right?
12:57
What do you want to do with your life?
12:59
And you don't know, do you? You, you don't have a clue.
13:03
You know, as an individual. I'm 54 and I still don't know
13:06
what I want to do. I'm I've changed.
13:09
I'm very clear and defined in my future.
13:12
Now I can. I'm really excited to get on to
13:17
that for people to hear about what you do because it's
13:19
wonderful. So so I'm in case go on, sorry,
13:23
after you've gone you. Know I left school.
13:25
Yeah, that's. What?
13:26
I went to take a naval exam. OK.
13:29
Portsmouth, right of. Course, Yeah.
13:31
What's? Going there of my naval exam
13:34
wasn't good enough because I couldn't read the questions and
13:37
I couldn't articulate the answers there.
13:39
You go again, You see there's another.
13:41
Problem like you, I'm not good enough.
13:44
I'm thick. And there's the label mate that
13:46
we all go there's. The label and the system.
13:50
Is so, so you know, and, and here's the crazy thing, right?
13:56
Let's be honest and I know and I'll tell you something.
13:59
I don't think I've ever told anyone this before.
14:01
My wife certainly knows and my children know, but I did exact
14:04
honest to God, honest to God, exactly the same thing Left
14:08
school, I was all over the place and we used to have an Army
14:11
recruiting office where I lived. It's just the God's honest
14:14
truth. I went to the Army recruiting
14:16
office. Why did I go to the Army
14:17
recruiting office? Because my granddad and my great
14:20
granddad both served and I thought that's what I needed to
14:22
do. So I went in the Army recruiting
14:24
office, sat down and the only reason I didn't get any, I mean,
14:27
I probably wouldn't got in anyway because the same as you,
14:29
because you wouldn't know the answer, the questions.
14:30
But the only reason I didn't even do the questions is because
14:33
the guy said to me, the recruiting officer, I'll be back
14:36
in a minute, 15 minutes later, the guy and come back 1415 years
14:40
old. I'm not.
14:40
I'm not waiting. Got up and left.
14:42
Otherwise I'd have gone through the same process as you.
14:44
But there's another highlight. You see, you know, a divergent
14:48
every day we get asked to fill in forms and documents.
14:50
Priceless example, Naval example.
14:52
If that if they'd have asked you the questions rather than you
14:56
having to read piece of paper, you'd probably got in, right?
14:58
Yeah. Definitely because I always know
15:01
I was always different. I always knew I was creative.
15:05
I always knew I think different outside the box.
15:09
In fact, my brother-in-law actually, he says to me, he says
15:14
you just don't think out the box, he said.
15:16
You think on top of the box, you think under the box, you think
15:19
it was just outside the box in the box, he said.
15:23
When it's not a box, it's a triangle.
15:24
Yeah. That's a, that is a really good
15:28
way of describing what we're like.
15:30
Actually, I heard, I heard a really good one.
15:33
I'd only heard on on on here, on this podcast here, a gentleman
15:36
from Australia came on and he said that I get fed up of
15:40
hearing superpowers, the powers, the powers, he said.
15:44
For me, it's not about the superpower, it's managing the
15:46
kryptonite as one of the best things I've ever heard.
15:50
And that's a dyslexic. What you've just described there
15:53
is also dead right what your brother-in-law says.
15:55
Like on top to the side. It's never, it's never inside.
15:59
Yeah, we always think of different ways round it.
16:02
So, so. OK, so the navel didn't work out
16:04
right. So we didn't get in the Navy.
16:06
Where did Andy end up then? I went into construction I
16:09
should do. I became a butcher.
16:15
But I can never. Another bloke said to me I was
16:20
there and it was a bloke called Tiggy.
16:22
He says what are you doing in construction?
16:24
But it didn't comprehend me at the time.
16:27
You know that because I was in construction.
16:30
I thought that's where I was supposed to be.
16:31
Because you're not intelligent enough.
16:33
Yeah, I'm not good enough to do anything else.
16:35
You really believe that up there, don't you?
16:38
You do. Yeah, I really and and this is
16:42
where sort of I stayed for a long, long time and at the time
16:47
I was still hiding for 30 years that my sexual abuse, I didn't
16:51
tell anyone. So it was inside eaten away.
16:54
Are you are you so all those things I it's unbelievable that
17:00
I. Can't imagine what you went
17:03
through. I get the thick part because
17:06
that was drilled into me as a kid.
17:08
I always thought this is what I'm supposed to do.
17:11
I'm supposed to be here because I this is all I'm good enough to
17:15
do. Sweeping saw dust up and
17:16
cleaning the blood off pans at the end of the day in a
17:18
butcher's shop because I believe.
17:20
But on top of that you got sexual abuse as well.
17:24
Mate. I don't even know how you
17:26
carried on. One point in my life I was in a
17:30
real low point. I'd done self development I and
17:33
it took me on a journey of being better since this self
17:36
development I went and and Akamai, my accountant said to me
17:42
that that I'd changed from a builder to a business person.
17:48
OK, because, because what happened of it was the start of
17:53
my belief change, you know of but but you still get that
17:57
underlining thing, your behaviour, your success, your
18:00
failures, your habits and that imposter syndrome coming back to
18:03
bite you in the arse every so often.
18:06
I made some investments, all right, and I got married,
18:12
divorced, and then I managed to save, salvage the house, the
18:16
family house I lived in, and I used that as collateral to buy
18:20
other houses. But then the recession hit 2007.
18:23
OK. Oh, this was devastating.
18:25
Within weeks, weeks, that not week, I'd say about six months,
18:30
I became £100,000 in debt. They stopped paying the rents.
18:34
They stopped. Oh, yeah.
18:35
I just. Oh, yeah.
18:37
I don't think I've told you this story before, but I was writing
18:40
letters of suicide because those old feelings come back.
18:44
The imposter. I'm not going to.
18:46
Shouldn't have done it. I'll failed again.
18:48
Who do I think I am? But why am I supposed to be
18:52
here? You know why?
18:53
And bloody. Hellman.
18:55
Oh, yeah, you. This is why I care so much about
19:00
what I talk about, because it's. It's all in here.
19:04
First heart. First heart.
19:06
First. Yeah.
19:08
And you. You said.
19:09
You said that, sorry to interrupt.
19:11
You said something I'm really interested in.
19:13
You said about self development, so how so you're in
19:18
construction, How did you, is this something you saw on the
19:21
telly or how did you find out about this self development?
19:24
Tell me about that there. Was an infomercial on
19:27
television. You know, I, I started it
19:31
because my wife was going through a little bit of my
19:33
second wife, who I'm still with now, was going through
19:36
depression and I thought I'd pay for this coaching to help her.
19:41
It was like a ACD course which sent through the post OK,
19:46
technology's changed. I'm laughing because obviously
19:50
that a lot of the parents listen are probably our age, so they'll
19:53
probably know what that is. But if anyone doesn't know what
19:55
ACD is, just go on the Internet and have a look.
19:57
It's a little silver shiny thing that you're stuck in in a
20:00
machine. OK, so it came in the post.
20:02
You paid for it. Yeah, I paid for it.
20:05
We watched. It was Tony Robbins.
20:07
Wow. OK.
20:09
And I've worked with him, not sorry, I don't want to mislead
20:16
people. I've worked learning from him
20:19
and that's where a lot more success has come from, you know,
20:22
over the past. So if you think, if you're you
20:27
think you're not good enough and then you have that personal
20:30
development right of someone telling you and that repeatable
20:34
system, you are good enough. And then that belief changes.
20:38
And when you, I believe it in your thoughts and you're more
20:41
organized and yeah, and I'll give it to my wife, she didn't
20:45
do it. I used it and went Sky Eye and
20:48
that's how I originally bought the houses.
20:50
But. So what was it like?
20:52
So many hours long and you had to sit and yeah.
20:56
It was an hour long course for about 13 CDs.
21:00
Wow, you know and and you had a workbook and it gives you tasks.
21:05
OK, so. It's.
21:06
Interesting. It's not just listening to
21:08
something, you have to do something.
21:10
Yeah, because nothing happened without action.
21:12
Yeah, that's are you, are you only dyslexic?
21:14
Are you ADHD as well? I've never been diagnosed with
21:17
it either, but I know yes. Yeah, I would say you are.
21:21
And because when, when, when we're when we're focused on a
21:26
task, that's when that, that, that, that laser pinpoint you
21:31
talked about, that's what that's what made me motivated to go on
21:34
and do the house thing. That's because you had an
21:37
absolute pinpoint focus. And that's a real trait of an
21:40
ADHD. Wow, OK, unbelievable.
21:44
OK, so we did, we did the self-awareness, we bought the
21:46
houses, it all went wrong. So we're now 100 grand in debt.
21:50
What the hell do we do next? Where are we next?
21:54
I had to dial down deep inside myself.
21:57
And this is this is one thing I'd like to think one point,
22:03
just just one point of trying to help another person.
22:07
Yeah. All right.
22:07
This is what took me out of my lowest point of depression, OK.
22:11
It's the one thing that I couldn't leave all this stress
22:14
on my wife. No, it wasn't fair.
22:16
OK. And and that started me to
22:19
build. And I had to let some things go.
22:22
So financial things with great loss.
22:26
But when you think that I've learnt all these things, I've
22:30
learnt the training, I've learnt how to cope with myself inside.
22:35
When you learn those things you, you change.
22:40
It's it's perception. If you believe that you're not
22:45
good enough, you stay, not good enough, you do.
22:47
I've got a thing called unlimited possibility now, so if
22:52
you think of the I can't remember the sign.
22:57
Do you know of Infinity? Infinity possibility?
23:00
It's the like that, right? So if you think how a lot of
23:04
people have that glass ceiling, you know, and that glass ceiling
23:07
is where they believe they are, where they believe they can go.
23:10
If you think Infinity possibility, there is no glass
23:14
ceiling. Interesting.
23:15
I'll just let you sit with that for a little bit because so it
23:18
makes you start believing that anything is possible.
23:21
Yeah, anything you can do. And I stayed in construction for
23:26
a long, long time. I all my life, you know, and
23:29
then I went on to sort of a journey of with Tony Robbins and
23:35
how to coach. And and so this is where my
23:38
coaching journey started only about five years ago and it's
23:42
not gone as fast as I want it might.
23:44
Not be a bad thing though I I see I see the stuff you do and I
23:51
love it and I and I also think that this is just a personal
23:54
opinion. I think that as as as you're a
23:57
divergent when things went, when we when we see things and we
24:04
focus on something, it is totally possible for us to
24:08
achieve it. But I also think that when we
24:11
are given something quite quickly that we can implode it
24:15
very quickly as well. So I think the fact that it's
24:17
taking you a while for this to happen, for this development,
24:21
this coaching thing is starting to happen.
24:23
I think it's good that it happen hasn't happened fast because
24:26
you've had to work at it. So you've got that, you've got
24:29
that end goal there and you've kept digging away and you've
24:33
kept churning away and you've kept putting the stuff out.
24:36
And now that's what that's my personal opinion.
24:38
I I've seen with so many people that particularly dyslexics,
24:43
ADHD's lose interest just like that, right.
24:45
I reckon if you'd, if, if you'd have, if it had been instant for
24:48
you, I don't think we'd have been having this conversation
24:51
today. I think you'd have been, you'd
24:53
have gone back-to-back to a again.
24:55
So I think it's good that it's taken time.
24:57
So tell us where you are now and tell us about this this Tony
25:00
Robbins coaching thing and tell us how it all started.
25:04
I I worked with Tony Robbins. Before we go on, there's that.
25:09
I want to just say something about it's progression over
25:12
perfection. Nice, I like that.
25:13
Because. Because if you're looking for
25:16
perfection, yeah, you can't go any higher.
25:19
No. No chance you're stuck there,
25:21
no. Chance so so by keep moving
25:24
forward, it doesn't matter if you fail.
25:28
Or. Not a failure if you learn from
25:30
it, No, no. Totally.
25:31
And again, that comes back to your song, right?
25:33
Yeah, yeah, Journey. It's a journey.
25:35
Keep moving forward, you know, and interesting.
25:38
I like that. Yeah.
25:39
So and I've learnt a lot of this from my coaches.
25:43
Now he has a partner called someone called Dean Graciosi and
25:48
he, he's got a company which he used to run Tony Robbins
25:51
company, but he's also started an AI company.
25:56
Where I've learnt from now, this is I got into AI which really
26:01
changed my life, you know, and, and again with the coaching I
26:07
started before because my wife had some medical problems with
26:14
endometriosis and menopause, which don't we all struggle with
26:19
for men to understand, you know, this is more adult thing for,
26:23
for the men I built, tried to build courses to help that.
26:26
OK, it didn't, it didn't really I was doing it.
26:32
But I've got a lot, a lot of abuse from women.
26:35
Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are?
26:37
A man telling a woman. I wasn't telling women.
26:40
You're trying to tell blokes. They just see it as as, and I've
26:45
got some courses. I learned how to do that.
26:48
And it was like you either take a course or you get divorced.
26:51
When you think of those things, you know, and, and that's what,
26:54
but after the abuse and stuff, I felt I'm not really getting
26:58
anywhere with this. So I decided to grow my
27:01
Instagram and do it authentically with no marketing,
27:06
no paid, no paid advertising. And I again, the the people I
27:12
surrounded myself with were very influential.
27:15
Influential. I can't even say the words
27:17
influenced me. Yeah, we are.
27:19
We've got it. And let's be honest, neither of
27:21
us can spell it either. But it doesn't matter, right?
27:23
We know what it means. Yeah.
27:27
So and on that journey, I was there carrying on and I built
27:32
and recently I got 910 followers in one day.
27:36
Now that's extreme. You know, before you carry on
27:41
and I'm going to try and because not everybody realizes how
27:45
difficult that is. So my Instagram, I haven't I
27:49
haven't really paid a lot of time on my Instagram and I kind
27:52
of regret doing that. But of recent times, I've
27:54
started to put more posts on there because there are a lot of
27:57
people like you and I on there that want to see, you know, me
28:00
talking about dyslexia, talking about neurodiversity, but just
28:04
to just to kind of paint a picture of how difficult that
28:06
is. So it's taken me 12 months,
28:09
right? 12 months of continually talking
28:12
on Instagram and putting posts on Instagram.
28:14
And I probably get, I don't know if I'm lucky, maybe 2 followers
28:19
a week if I'm lucky. So that just kind of gives you
28:22
an indication of how amazing that is.
28:25
So 900. I think, I think for a lot I've
28:30
been building my I learnt to do this.
28:32
I started just two years ago on my Instagram from not knowing
28:37
anything before I started my coaching journey.
28:40
I didn't do any social media, you know, because obviously I
28:43
felt I wasn't good enough. Yeah.
28:44
No, it's the same, same, same for me.
28:47
I was too scared to go on that talk.
28:49
Yeah. Yeah.
28:50
And so you've you don't want people judging you and also.
28:54
If you don't, you judging is terrible.
28:56
Yeah, that's one of my one of my.
28:57
I hate that feeling. But also, I always think to
29:00
myself, if I talk about this and someone asks me a question, will
29:05
I understand what they're asking me for me to answer back?
29:09
That's one of my fears. My fears is being asked.
29:12
Well actually like you mentioned that the women reaching out to
29:16
you. Who are you, A bloke?
29:18
To be talking about this, that would be my worst.
29:20
That would be my worst nightmare, mate, because I
29:22
would. I would just go just shrivel
29:24
right back up on. The positive side?
29:26
Some of the people jumped to defend me.
29:28
Wow. OK, well there you go then.
29:30
So. So it's the people who are
29:35
haters. Let's just say haters, all
29:37
right? And they put this stuff on on to
29:42
for social media just to cause distress.
29:45
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and I got told this by one
29:49
of my coaches that on work I worked with in the past, haters
29:53
are just people who haven't learnt to love you yet.
29:55
That's a lovely. Statement.
29:56
I'm going to remember that one. Well, I'm going to get the
29:57
transcript from all this afterwards.
29:59
Some of the stuff you've come out really brilliant.
30:01
This is really. Cold in.
30:03
Here, that's a really good one. There's a, I'll tell you a
30:07
little story before we start talking about AI, which is the
30:10
bit I really want to get into. It's a Facebook group.
30:14
I want to say it's called like dyslexics and ADHD's for
30:19
families or something like that, right?
30:21
And I joined it. This is probably 12-18 months
30:25
ago, so similar to you. Took me a long long time to find
30:29
my voice and start being brave enough to open up about who I
30:32
am, what I am, and what I wanted to do in my life to help people.
30:34
But I joined this group and for months and we're talking about
30:39
people who are put in posts on this long.
30:41
For months I never said a word. And then one thing was put on
30:45
which kind of like I thought, I'm not sure about that.
30:48
And I kind of put, and I said to you, I have lovely pictures
30:51
appear sometimes when they come out of here, I write them.
30:54
Neither come out quite aggressive or they're not worded
30:56
right. People take offence at it.
30:58
Now I put a comment on this lady's post kind of saying,
31:02
well, no, actually your son, it's not your son at all.
31:06
It's the system. And that was all I said.
31:08
It's not your son, it's the system, which I didn't think was
31:11
anything wrong with that person, but I ABS she absolutely went to
31:15
town on me. And I mean went to town.
31:18
I'm a teacher. Who were you to tell me about
31:20
the system? And I, I deleted, I deleted the
31:23
comment, but that's, that's how easy it is to get taken apart on
31:28
social media, you know? And that's just why I think it's
31:31
all credit to you because you put yourself right out there.
31:34
I follow you. I followed you for a while, but
31:36
I see your face on Instagram most days and you're talking on
31:39
camera, you're sharing stuff. And I'm like, wow, you look
31:43
really positive. You look like you understand, I
31:45
believe what you're telling me. So I think, mate, don't stop
31:50
what you're doing because it's incredible, right?
31:52
Don't ever stop. But I, I agree with what you're
31:54
what, what that person said to you about haters.
31:56
I think that there is a lot of them out there and, and yeah,
31:58
they need to learn to love themselves a little bit and
32:01
understand that people like you and I and all the other people
32:04
that the lady that I've seen this morning on Instagram
32:06
breaking her heart, they're just trying.
32:08
They're just putting stuff out there.
32:09
It's just your feelings. It's just your emotions.
32:11
They're just comments that you think at the time.
32:13
And we don't all have to agree with everything everyone says
32:16
right now. And.
32:18
Being nice there's a lot of fake stuff coming now, you know and,
32:22
and and people here all like I know we are going to talk about
32:28
AI and how it's changed my life but with AI there's so much fake
32:32
stuff on there which you can't tell the difference you know and
32:36
and the trouble is this these are the bad things about AI of
32:41
people telling you the bad things.
32:43
I've I use it in a completely different way where if I can
32:48
help just that one person, like I'll go back to my wife, that
32:50
one person takes something away, then then that's I've done my
32:55
job to make me feel this insight in.
32:58
Totally, totally. So listen, I want to talk about
33:00
AI. It's important to me.
33:01
I, as you know, two weeks ago I was in Malta talking champion
33:05
Peoning. I can't even say that word now.
33:07
Peoning AI. So it was a 5050 split audience,
33:12
right? 50% or some professors from
33:13
universities talking about the negatives of AI.
33:16
And then there was another side of the audience kind of talking
33:18
about the positives. AI.
33:20
I see the positives now. I use AI to help me understand
33:24
things. Which 10 years ago would I have
33:28
commented on posts? Would I have, would I have
33:30
reached out to you on Instagram 10 years ago?
33:33
Probably not because I would have been not understanding what
33:38
I'm what I'm trying to say and what I'm reading.
33:41
So tell people what you do and let's talk about AI.
33:45
Really from our first conversation, I, I know I'm
33:49
going to talk about something in a moment about AI sort of
33:54
something very special, but it was, it came from really our
33:58
first conversation. I sat down and I think I used to
34:03
use AI as just a spelling tool, you know?
34:06
It wasn't. Start or think everyone starts
34:09
like that, Yeah. Yeah, and and really it's but
34:14
now when you learn to use it to start helping you decide on
34:17
decisions, OK, you know, so you explore and I'm going to this is
34:23
how I think when you start you're an explorer with AI and
34:27
explorer. You ask a question, a generic
34:29
question, but that one question. If there's the population of the
34:33
world, I don't know how many is on AI, but is 8 billion people.
34:37
They work on a large language model on the most probable
34:41
prediction from your question, right.
34:43
So if you ask why, if you ask tell me about dyslexia, it will
34:48
tell you a generic answer for sort of 8 billion people.
34:53
It's not specific the information you want to know.
34:56
So if you if you think that then you become a navigator and a
35:00
navigator where you get more clarity in there and context,
35:04
you give it some extra information, OK.
35:06
So you're stealing it, right? You, you you're, you're you're
35:10
asking your AI friend. Hey, listen, I don't just want
35:14
you to tell me how to get to Portsmouth from the West
35:16
Midlands. I want you to tell me how to get
35:19
to Portsmouth from the West Midlands, stopping at service
35:22
stations, making sure that I've got enough fuel to get there,
35:25
and maybe doing a scenic route as well.
35:27
So you're giving it more direction, right?
35:29
Yes. So that's what you're doing.
35:30
You're giving it by direction, by being a navigator and being
35:34
nice, anything. If you put that into a SAT NAV
35:38
Now, if you don't know your destination at the beginning,
35:41
you'll never know. You're never going to get to
35:43
your destination. It would just send you randomly.
35:46
Or if you wanted to speak to a friend and you had no
35:49
destination to speak to them in person, you'd never get there.
35:53
You'd never know where they're where they are.
35:55
So like given it like the extra information, that's when you
35:58
become a navigator. But there's another thing when
36:02
you go to I've learnt AI in in quite a deep is this is more
36:09
high level. It's an architect when it knows
36:12
about you, OK, it knows about your value.
36:15
It knows about sort of your goals, your habits, your
36:20
failures and and then you get it to do tasks for you to sort of
36:26
give you. I'm going to go back to Tony
36:30
Robbins. So I heard this.
36:31
If you ask a quality question, you get a quality answer.
36:35
OK. And you think that in AI, if you
36:38
ask quality question and it knows about your values in the
36:43
so in in whatever you're prompted putting in and it
36:46
doesn't hesitate because it's not 8 billion people.
36:49
It's specific to 1 back to the power of 1 helping 11 specific
36:56
answer. When you think of those things,
36:58
you know that's how it works. Or more when you use it.
37:03
I want to talk about in a moment.
37:06
It's not about the final goal, OK, it's it's removing those
37:11
repeatable tasks. When you remove and you get AI
37:14
to do them, do you think you'll have more time for yourself?
37:17
And it you find it, learn how to support you, not as a tool.
37:24
So it's only a tool. So you you own the information
37:28
you put into it. It comes from your head in here.
37:30
You own the information, you tell it what you want, right?
37:33
And then it's it's like input information output.
37:38
So all I've got told it's like the meat in the sandwich.
37:41
OK, the bread is the input at the top, all the meat and the
37:46
layers in the information you give it in the context and then
37:49
the output is the lower bread. OK.
37:51
Coming out of this are you? Are you are you speaking into
37:56
it? Are you are you typing or are
37:58
you speaking into it? I speak into everything, OK?
38:01
So you're using speech to text onto the AI, right?
38:04
So you're delivering, you're delivering your message to a
38:08
specific AI and you're you're giving it like you said, you're
38:11
giving it the layers of bread. You're saying, right, here's the
38:13
bread. Make me a sandwich, Right.
38:15
Essentially, Yeah. Yeah.
38:16
OK, So tell people, tell people the sort of stuff, then give
38:20
them a few, give them a few. Success.
38:23
Well, let's talk about where it all started going wrong, first
38:25
of all. So tell me about the mistakes
38:26
you made in the early days with AI and then talk about now
38:30
really using it. In the early days of AII, used
38:33
it just to break. Say I listen to all the hype, AI
38:41
is going to kill the way you think, the Terminator, and you
38:45
get scared of it. You don't know where to start.
38:48
You feel you don't know what to write.
38:50
You feel all those things inside of you?
38:53
Yeah, no. And it comes back.
38:55
I'm not clever enough. Yeah.
38:57
You don't use it. No, No.
38:58
Correct. Yeah.
38:59
No, no, I understand. I'm with you 200% on that one.
39:03
Yeah, yeah. So no fake, no fake stuff, tell
39:06
it real. I find the mistakes I made was
39:09
just asking a question, expect it to give me the answer.
39:12
It doesn't when you have a conversation with AI because it
39:15
remembers that significant thread.
39:18
Yeah, it continues. So as you said, that journey of
39:22
going on sort of meeting your friend in a car journey.
39:25
So I think if I say I want it to help me have dyslexia, help me
39:31
understand dyslexia for my children.
39:35
Now I'm not going to say about me.
39:36
So right, So what you do, you put it in there, sort of you ask
39:41
it a question. And so the question, I would say
39:43
that I want to find out about dyslexia, but I want you to be a
39:50
like a professor or an expert in something.
39:53
So give me clarity on the certain topic you want to know
39:57
about. So you would say my child is
39:59
dyslexic and he's having trouble with?
40:02
Please could you? You're being a, you're giving it
40:04
a, a specific situation, OK. This is the meat in the
40:08
sandwich. OK, this specific.
40:11
So you ask it say, because what you're doing, you're telling it
40:14
about yourself, you're telling it about your child, you're
40:17
telling about the problem. Then you ask it, this is my
40:20
desired outcome. It might not give you the
40:23
desired outcome. You might not like the answer
40:25
sometimes, you know, but if you give it, this is my desired
40:30
outcome and say I've known other people get this success as an
40:34
example, you know, So you're giving it more and more context,
40:37
a lot more context. Now imagine I said we added 8
40:41
billion to 1 going down. Now it's knowing about all the
40:45
the information you want to know.
40:47
How more specific would your answer be?
40:49
And then you say I want that result and then press send.
40:53
If you don't quite get the answer, ask another question.
40:56
Does that make sense to you? Yeah.
40:58
Yeah, yeah, OK, interesting. So from, from, from tell, tell
41:02
me how you used it then tell, tell me how you how it's how
41:05
it's helped you and and sort of a scenario that you've you can
41:09
think about. Just give me you mentioned there
41:11
about 9:00 and you've got 900 followers in one day.
41:13
So give me a, give me an example where you've used it and it's
41:15
really like made an impact What? I've got a set up on my notes on
41:21
my phone. There's a prompt with so all I
41:25
have to do is copy and paste into an AI chat bot.
41:29
So I find a reel like I found that's I found you.
41:32
I found your reel OK as an example.
41:34
I used your reel then there's ways it's something called
41:37
success leaves clues. So you had success on your URL?
41:42
So I copied it and remixed it. Then I added my own words from
41:46
the heart on the text overlaid. Then it makes it my own, then
41:50
the caption, then the caption. I use my AI tool because it's
41:55
specific and I speak into the phone in the AI tool, copy and
41:59
paste into the caption. It also generates search engine
42:03
optimization. It also generates the hashtags,
42:08
which hashtags are not such a big thing now they're sort of
42:11
they're out, they're on Instagram.
42:14
But when you use it like an accordion, you can use this
42:17
technology as little or as much as you big as you need to go to.
42:22
Show you how to do that, my friend.
42:23
I think that sounds I will. Yeah, I have.
42:27
I have got a course on my Instagram, you know, which shows
42:29
you how to do that with it's a 30 day money back guarantee.
42:32
I'm not here to sell anything, you know, because I believe my
42:36
thing is heart first. If people don't get no value, a
42:39
full refund, No. But if they think they've got
42:44
value and they start changing that their approach into a way
42:49
that actually works for them, this is when your your life
42:53
changes. So.
42:54
Let me just get this right. Would this own?
42:56
Would this only this tool? Would it only work in the sense
42:59
of marketing or could it be used?
43:02
For something else, I use it to build courses, coaching.
43:09
I've designed prompts, playbooks, so a playbook is a
43:15
more advanced thing. People main what Sops are or
43:20
not, I don't know. It's a standard operating
43:22
procedure. So it's like if you're going to
43:24
build a house, you need to buy the land planning totally, dig
43:30
the foundations, build the house, put the roof on, furnish,
43:33
sorry, decorate it, furnish it, then you could then it's yours.
43:36
So it's like a standard procedure.
43:39
It's like, so if you set AI to predetermine your standard
43:43
operating procedures and that's called a playbook.
43:46
This is sort of doveget already knows about you.
43:50
It knows about you because I've set that up.
43:54
Amazing. So really, really amazing this
43:58
is this will blow your mind. All right, this will blow your
44:00
mind. So when we had our conversation,
44:03
I sat down for one day and built 5 different courses from
44:09
complete beginner to really advance being an architect
44:13
through different stages. You know, in one day.
44:17
One course would normally take me 3 months.
44:20
Being dyslexic, yeah. Unbelievable.
44:22
You're a genius mate, honest and like your brother and like your
44:25
brother-in-law said, don't you're not inside the box.
44:28
You think around the edges, mate, and that's that's don't
44:30
ever change. You know, listen, I know you're
44:31
going to in a minute, you're going to, we've got one more
44:34
question, but I know you've got a little surprise for people
44:38
that you want to offer, which you've told me about my, my, my,
44:41
my thoughts on this is, is, you know, I think for, for families
44:45
out there, there are ways that you can help your child.
44:48
I've seen it today. I've seen a lady talking about a
44:50
son having to see his Sats for the third time because he keeps
44:53
failing his English and his maps.
44:55
There is technology out there. The government won't make it
44:58
available because it it AI within schools is still not
45:02
quite. Not quite.
45:04
It's frowned upon at the moment. They're going to have to adopt
45:06
it properly at one point. Whether there's nothing stopping
45:09
you using from AI like Andy does to help you, to help you
45:14
remember, to help you learn, to help you study.
45:16
The other thing that I think I've kind of like picked up from
45:19
what you're talking about there. So we don't, we don't even
45:21
touch. We did touch in a little bit
45:23
about mental health, but I don't see why you couldn't.
45:25
AI is at the point now where you can almost have a conversation
45:28
with it. And like you quite rightly said,
45:30
what you put in is what you get out.
45:32
I heard someone about 4-5 weeks ago telling me they use AI as a
45:36
friend to talk to, to get them through depression in the
45:39
workplace. I would encourage anybody to
45:43
reach out to Andy, have a chat with him.
45:45
He's a nice guy. Reach out to him on Instagram.
45:47
I'm going to share all of this in, in, in in an Instagram post
45:51
over the next few days before this goes live on Thursday.
45:54
You'll get all this information. Have a chat with me.
45:56
He's a top bloke. I'm sure he'll be able to tell
45:58
you how maybe you could make something.
46:00
His courses are there. But yeah, Andy, just tell people
46:03
what? What?
46:04
For the people listening. What?
46:05
Your what? Your little surprises.
46:07
Yeah. Before I go into that thick, no
46:10
more means to me like you got to believe in change.
46:15
You got to believe in change. So I use this when one of my
46:19
trainings is the four CS. So it's like you need believe in
46:22
change, but you need the courage to take the action.
46:26
You can't. Nothing happens without taking
46:29
action. And how do you build your
46:30
confidence? You build your confidence by
46:33
taking the action, right? So how do you recycle that
46:37
consistency? Those are the 4C's.
46:39
Nice. And what do you do with
46:40
consistency? Put it back into change.
46:43
That's why it's the consistent loop.
46:45
OK, so that's so you got to believe.
46:48
If you don't borrow the belief, borrow my belief till you get
46:51
your own. Unbelievable.
46:52
Lovely words, really nice so. What I have decided to do from
46:56
our conversations for 12 people, I've put a form.
47:01
I created a form yesterday with AI and as you do, then I put it
47:05
in, then I put it all the questions into a little link.
47:09
Do you know my biggest friend is copy and paste?
47:13
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, two more CMP.
47:16
Yeah, to my 2 words as well. Because.
47:19
Because if you try and type it, you'll get it wrong.
47:22
Yeah. So I don't.
47:24
Fight it, yeah. So don't fight it.
47:26
AI helped me sort of clean it up.
47:29
And I've done a little questionnaire.
47:31
Very, very easy. Oh, it's multiple choice.
47:34
So you can answer like I think 10 questions might be 12 for an
47:39
application to be involved in sort of a special course for 12
47:46
people about learning about AI. For your confidence, no
47:50
experience is needed, No experience.
47:52
So because I believe my AI give me a voice, it gave me
47:58
simplicity, it gave me the ways to save time.
48:01
Now it gave me ways to answer the questions so we'll get
48:05
quality answers. So that's what this course is
48:08
about, building confidence and it's called the AI Clarity and
48:13
Confidence Sprint. Six weeks over Zoom so we can
48:17
talk, have a conversation like in a coffee room.
48:21
It's not where people can come up.
48:23
They can learn. There'll be tasks like I've
48:26
learned from my coaches, of course tasks.
48:29
And, and so you have to do the work.
48:32
You have to be prepared to do the work.
48:34
Nothing happens without action. As was, this is interesting,
48:37
right? Because there's one particular
48:39
person that listens to this podcast every time and every
48:42
time he met, he sends me personal messages.
48:45
And he is and everyone that listens to this podcast knows
48:47
this story. And I know you'll be listening
48:49
to this. So this is for you, my friend.
48:51
You need to reach out to Andy. And here's your opportunity to
48:54
maybe get out of that job that you're stuck in because your
48:56
boss doesn't know you're a divergent.
48:58
Maybe this is the way for you to get enough confidence to do
49:00
something different. Andy, listen, you my friend or a
49:03
gentleman, don't stop what you're doing because I love what
49:06
you do. I love seeing your posts on, on
49:08
on social media. Anyone that's listening to the
49:10
podcast, all Andy's details will be in the bottom of the podcast.
49:14
This is going to be all over Instagram.
49:17
I'm going to put loads of little clippets.
49:19
Reach out to Andy and Andy, listen, thank you for telling
49:24
what is an incredible story. And mate, you should be proud of
49:28
yourself because a lot of people would have given in years ago
49:32
and you've just kept going, mate.
49:33
And that's that's that's from the heart, my friend.
49:36
Don't stop what you're doing. You're a wonderful.
49:39
I think because I'm stubborn, if you would.
49:42
Be all wrong with that mate. There's nothing wrong with that.
49:44
Nothing wrong with that, all I must meant so.
49:49
One last thing, obviously the application is going to be time
49:53
limited because I've got to start all in one go, so they
49:57
must fill the application in by the end of the month because
50:01
that's when it will be closing OK.
50:02
Well, if you're listening to this, but now it will be
50:05
Thursday because this podcast goes live on Thursday.
50:08
So basically that gives you what about another week and a bit.
50:11
So you've been warned. You've got to the end of the
50:13
month to fill the form in. All right.
50:15
Yeah, that's brilliant. Thank you very much.
50:18
You're welcome. My friend, all the best, lovely
50:22
to speak to you. And you?