Latest / Alpha Men Podcast / Gas Prices, Irritable Men & TikTok Brain | Alpha Men Podcast Season 6 Episode 2

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Gas Prices, Irritable Men & TikTok Brain | Alpha Men Podcast Season 6 Episode 2 · Alpha Men Podcast

2:14
SPEAKER_04: Go.
2:16
SPEAKER_04: Welcome, you six twisted freaks to the Alpha Men Podcast, season six, episode two from the granite capital of the world.
2:25
SPEAKER_04: My name is TJ Michaels.
2:26
SPEAKER_04: My partner in crime is from Trinity, North Carolina.
2:29
SPEAKER_04: His name is John Stacy.
2:31
SPEAKER_04: We like to call him Baby Huey.
2:32
SPEAKER_04: And uh I am a tad under the weather tonight.
2:35
SPEAKER_04: And so there will be no beer.
2:38
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there will be.
2:39
SPEAKER_04: I actually came home sick from work today early.
2:44
SPEAKER_04: There will be no beer cracking tonight because I I feel like garbage.
2:47
SPEAKER_04: But they say in the business, the show must go on.
2:51
SPEAKER_04: And uh, you know what?
2:52
SPEAKER_04: This helps.
2:53
SPEAKER_04: I helps with a cold.
2:55
SPEAKER_04: This helps.
2:55
SPEAKER_04: I'm sure it does.
2:56
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm sure it does.
2:57
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
2:58
SPEAKER_04: I'm I'm I I'm a 13-stepper, you know, 13-step recovery program night quilts.
3:04
SPEAKER_04: The 13th step, you know.
3:06
SPEAKER_08: I can't drink anyways right now because of my surgery.
3:08
SPEAKER_04: Are you drunk?
3:09
SPEAKER_04: No, I have a cold.
3:12
SPEAKER_04: Uh listen, we have a great show for you tonight.
3:15
SPEAKER_04: Let's let's start with something important, right?
3:18
SPEAKER_04: An important question.
3:19
SPEAKER_04: How long before you drop your first F-bomb into the day?
3:24
SPEAKER_08: Um you have kids?
3:27
SPEAKER_08: With kids, no kids.
3:29
SPEAKER_04: For for some people, it is uh they've actually done a study on this.
3:32
SPEAKER_04: It is 10:54 in the a.m.
3:35
SPEAKER_04: 1054 in the morning.
3:37
SPEAKER_04: Which actually, provided like there's not a lot of problems in my morning, sounds about right.
3:45
SPEAKER_04: You know, that's usually about the time I check my bank account.
3:49
SPEAKER_04: It comes out.
3:50
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
3:51
SPEAKER_04: Uh for others, though, it's the second the alarm goes off, right?
3:54
SPEAKER_04: I mean, you're letting it fly.
3:57
SPEAKER_04: And uh that's you know, uh, apparently the average American doesn't unleash the first curse word of the day until 10 54 a.m.
4:06
SPEAKER_04: But about 25% of us can't even make it to 9 a.m.
4:10
SPEAKER_04: All right.
4:11
SPEAKER_04: Honestly, those people are probably married.
4:15
SPEAKER_04: I'm just saying, yeah, with kids.
4:17
SPEAKER_04: Biggest trigger money, lack of sleep, work, health problems, and pretty much uh everything else happening in the world.
4:25
SPEAKER_04: In other words, kind of being alive.
4:27
SPEAKER_04: But uh apparently the average American experiences about 12,000 stressful events a year, more than three a day.
4:35
SPEAKER_04: Six if you're married.
4:37
SPEAKER_04: So if you haven't cursed today, give it time.
4:41
SPEAKER_04: All right, you know, tomorrow morning, you get to 1054.
4:46
SPEAKER_04: Congratulations.
4:47
SPEAKER_04: You've done something uh uh something remarkable.
4:50
SPEAKER_04: So uh but the the top things that make us curse before we've even had our second cup of coffee, uh stepping on the scale.
5:01
SPEAKER_08: Right?
5:02
SPEAKER_08: I don't do it.
5:03
SPEAKER_08: I'm used to going.
5:07
SPEAKER_04: Um nothing says good morning, like a number that makes you question every decision you've made since Thanksgiving.
5:13
SPEAKER_04: Uh the idiot at the red light blasting the techno music from his Honda Accord at 8.30 in the morning.
5:18
SPEAKER_08: Yes, or the real loud truck that drives by at 6.30 in the morning.
5:22
SPEAKER_04: Right.
5:22
SPEAKER_04: Listen, if you're gonna blast music at 7.30 in the morning, make it rock, alright?
5:25
SPEAKER_04: I'm just saying.
5:26
SPEAKER_04: Lose the techno crap.
5:28
SPEAKER_04: Uh looking at the bags under your eyes in the bathroom mirror.
5:31
SPEAKER_04: That kind of sucks.
5:32
SPEAKER_04: That generally brings it out of me.
5:34
SPEAKER_04: At that point, you don't need coffee, you just need a plastic surgeon and a time machine.
5:38
SPEAKER_04: Uh pour an orange juice on your cereal.
5:42
SPEAKER_04: That'll make that F-bomb come out.
5:43
SPEAKER_04: I've done it.
5:45
SPEAKER_04: Stitches are like spinning on me here.
5:48
SPEAKER_08: They're what?
5:50
SPEAKER_08: There you go.
5:51
SPEAKER_08: It keeps spinning.
5:51
SPEAKER_08: It keeps spinning and they show up, but then it goes back.
5:54
SPEAKER_04: Weird.
5:54
SPEAKER_04: There you go.
5:56
SPEAKER_04: Weird.
5:57
unknown: Weird.
5:57
SPEAKER_04: Uh realizing halfway to work that you forgot your deodorant.
6:03
SPEAKER_04: That'll bring a few curse words.
6:05
SPEAKER_04: Suddenly you're doing the math in your head.
6:07
SPEAKER_04: Can I turn around or do I just avoid everybody today?
6:09
SPEAKER_04: You know, what do I do?
6:10
SPEAKER_04: You know.
6:11
SPEAKER_04: Uh pulling uh uh out the garbage, uh uh with uh pulling out of the garage with the coffee mug still on your roof.
6:19
SPEAKER_04: You know, nothing wakes you up faster than clang crash and realizing your coffee just became roadkill.
6:26
SPEAKER_04: And there's uh one thing that really makes a grown man question his financial decisions and lets the uh lets the F-bombs fly.
6:34
SPEAKER_04: Uh looking at the gas pump after you fill up your car.
6:38
SPEAKER_04: At that point, you're not putting gas in the tank.
6:40
SPEAKER_04: Uh you're just kind of making a donation to Exxon.
6:43
SPEAKER_04: So, um, you know.
6:46
SPEAKER_04: And we have a baby Huey bonus tonight.
6:49
SPEAKER_04: We do.
6:50
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, that magical moment when you're when a kid looks at you dead in the eye at 7 15 in the morning and says, I don't want to go to school today, dad.
7:00
SPEAKER_08: And I'm just staying there thinking, buddy.
7:05
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't want to go to work either.
7:06
SPEAKER_04: You know, actually, I get it.
7:08
SPEAKER_04: I get it.
7:08
SPEAKER_04: I get it, buddy.
7:09
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
7:10
SPEAKER_04: Listen, we got a great show for you tonight.
7:11
SPEAKER_04: Mancourt is back.
7:12
SPEAKER_04: The uh Red Foreman Awards, along with our new segment called Open Season.
7:17
SPEAKER_04: Wherever you're watching it from tonight, uh, feel free to join the show anytime by commenting.
7:22
SPEAKER_04: Tell us where you're from, uh, because this shooting match is live right now.
7:27
SPEAKER_04: Give us a like, turn on that notifications bell, subscribe, do all that happy jazz.
7:31
SPEAKER_04: Welcome to season six, episode two.
7:33
SPEAKER_04: This, my friends, is the Alpha Men Podcast.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: And now, men's plaining the news.
7:41
SPEAKER_02: Tuesday night update.
7:45
SPEAKER_04: And good evening.
7:46
SPEAKER_04: Here's what happened this week.
7:47
SPEAKER_04: Russia's ruling party won the latest election.
7:50
SPEAKER_04: Analysts say the pain slogan was the reason.
7:53
SPEAKER_04: It was simple and right to the point.
7:55
SPEAKER_04: Uh, vote for us, or we'll kill you.
7:59
SPEAKER_04: That's what you call a campaign slogan with excellent voter turnout.
8:02
SPEAKER_04: Just saying.
8:03
SPEAKER_04: News survey says 87% of people say you should use your turn signal no matter what.
8:10
SPEAKER_04: The uh other 13% drive BMWs.
8:14
SPEAKER_04: President Trump is heavily invested in AI companies, according to a recent news story.
8:19
SPEAKER_04: However, at this point, Washington has so much artificial intelligence, um, uh, especially in Congress, uh, we're still waiting for the natural kind to show up, if you know what I'm saying.
8:30
SPEAKER_04: Officials say discarded GLP1 injection pens this week are causing big problems injuring sanitation workers.
8:41
SPEAKER_04: On the bright side, the trash collectors never looked better.
8:45
SPEAKER_04: Just uh saying this.
8:48
SPEAKER_04: Uh scientists have finally figured out why wombat poop comes out in cubes.
8:57
SPEAKER_04: I was gonna make fun of the scientists for studying this, but uh now that I know wombats crap cubes, I really want to know why.
9:07
SPEAKER_04: Because that's that's really science.
9:10
SPEAKER_04: So because I got no hobbies, I looked it up.
9:14
SPEAKER_04: Wombats produce cube-shaped poop because of the unique uneven elasticity and rhythmic contractions of their intestinal walls.
9:22
SPEAKER_04: While they have a round anus like you or I and other mammals, a dedicated research team published findings in the journal Soft Matter.
9:34
SPEAKER_04: Really?
9:36
SPEAKER_04: Uh detailing exactly how this geomographic geometric feat occurs inside the soft tube.
9:43
SPEAKER_04: Look, I believe in a visual aid, so uh there you have it.
9:46
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
9:46
SPEAKER_04: All right.
9:48
SPEAKER_04: Man, I need a I need a hobby.
9:50
SPEAKER_04: But damn, where else are you gonna get content like this?
9:54
SPEAKER_04: I mean, really.
9:56
SPEAKER_04: All right.
9:57
SPEAKER_04: Restaurants starting to lock up customers' phones to reduce distractions in their establishments.
10:07
SPEAKER_04: Which I don't think is a bad idea, to be honest with you.
10:10
SPEAKER_04: In fact, I don't either.
10:11
SPEAKER_04: Can we do the same thing with this kid?
10:14
SPEAKER_04: Just you know, I'm just saying.
10:17
SPEAKER_08: I mean shouldn't have the kids, but yeah.
10:21
SPEAKER_04: President Trump hosted a Hispanic Heritage Month event at the White House this week.
10:25
SPEAKER_04: It's it's probably the only dinner in Washington where everyone checked the guest lists and the immigration paperwork at the same time.
10:32
SPEAKER_04: It was uh yeah, kind of special.
10:36
SPEAKER_04: AI becoming more common in the workplace, according to a new study.
10:40
SPEAKER_04: At this rate, we're gonna be celebrating take your human to work day here in a couple of years.
10:44
SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's uh that's what's going on.
10:47
SPEAKER_04: Some people trying to quit vaping by taking up cigarettes.
10:53
SPEAKER_08: Oh I stopped smoking cigarettes.
10:56
SPEAKER_04: It's like saying I'm quitting Bud Light, so I'm switching to whiskey.
11:01
SPEAKER_08: Okay.
11:02
SPEAKER_08: I have done that.
11:04
SPEAKER_04: Two giant pandas arrived at the Atlanta Zoo this week.
11:08
SPEAKER_04: Trump is excited.
11:10
SPEAKER_04: Finally, two foreign nationals entered the country legally, and everybody's happy about it.
11:14
SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's uh Yeah.
11:17
SPEAKER_04: Health experts say pharmacies are covered in germs.
11:22
SPEAKER_04: But really, what makes you sick is uh you waiting in line at the pharmacy when they start playing Peter Sotera.
11:29
SPEAKER_04: You know, you're like, oh God, not Peter Sotera.
11:32
SPEAKER_04: Come on.
11:34
SPEAKER_04: Uh some scientists discovered a 245 million-year-old reptile fossil with its stomach and intestines still intact.
11:45
SPEAKER_04: Apparently, the fossil's in better shape than some of the guys walking around Congress this week.
11:49
SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's uh pretty big thing.
11:53
SPEAKER_04: In uh showbiz news, people are criticizing Taylor Swift's new song about Cleveland.
11:59
SPEAKER_04: And he sung pretty low in Drew Carey is your biggest musical competition.
12:03
SPEAKER_04: I'm just saying.
12:08
SPEAKER_04: Speaking of uh the uh the Swifties, Travis Kelsey missed the VMAs because of a football game.
12:15
SPEAKER_04: Uh the rest of us missed the VMAs because um we had no idea that VMAs still existed.
12:21
SPEAKER_04: Like they actually had VMAs anymore.
12:25
SPEAKER_04: Who the hell who the hell shows music videos anymore?
12:29
SPEAKER_04: No one.
12:30
SPEAKER_04: By the way, somebody knew it was happening.
12:32
SPEAKER_04: The VMAs pulled in 8.4 million viewers.
12:35
SPEAKER_04: Apparently, millions turned in to see Madonna perform.
12:40
SPEAKER_04: And millions more tuned in to see if she could still stand up afterwards.
12:43
SPEAKER_04: Uh, you know, it was uh Kim Alex, read if Donna.
12:46
SPEAKER_08: She rambles a lot, though.
12:48
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
12:50
SPEAKER_04: Sad news this week, Rod Stewart has announced his final tour.
12:55
SPEAKER_04: Um it's probably time.
12:58
SPEAKER_04: You know, whenever he sings, Do you think I'm sexy these days?
13:01
SPEAKER_04: The audience is thinking, hey, listen, Rod, we're not here to hurt your feelings, okay?
13:05
SPEAKER_04: We just uh anyway.
13:10
SPEAKER_04: Charlie Sheen's starring in another sitcom.
13:15
SPEAKER_04: Excuse me.
13:16
SPEAKER_04: Uh he retired from television years ago.
13:19
SPEAKER_04: But uh he has decided to take another crack at it.
13:26
SPEAKER_08: This is a crack.
13:28
SPEAKER_08: I'll watch it here for the screen here because one's not processing it, so that's it.
13:31
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
13:32
SPEAKER_04: So that's alright.
13:34
SPEAKER_04: Sylvester Stallone finally has admitted he used steroids.
13:40
SPEAKER_04: No way.
13:41
SPEAKER_04: Next up, water has admitted it's wet.
13:47
SPEAKER_04: You can't look at Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III or Rocky II, whatever it was.
13:52
SPEAKER_04: Like, like you're you're like you look at him in that Rocky movie and you're like, dude is juicing hard.
13:59
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
14:01
SPEAKER_04: Nicholas Cage playing John Madden in a new movie.
14:05
SPEAKER_04: The great football coach and TV commentator.
14:08
SPEAKER_04: It's Nick Cage like you've never seen him before, they say.
14:12
SPEAKER_04: Which is pretty impressive because Nick Cage has played just about everyone.
14:15
SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's a you know, it's he's played just about everybody.
14:20
SPEAKER_08: Didn't he put on a bunch of weight for that?
14:23
SPEAKER_04: He did, yes.
14:25
SPEAKER_04: And he put on a bunch of weight and they used a fat suit on top of it.
14:29
SPEAKER_04: So uh the new Tom Cruise movie, Digger, getting mixed reviews.
14:33
SPEAKER_04: Some critics hate it.
14:36
SPEAKER_04: Other critics really hate it.
14:46
SPEAKER_04: There you go.
14:48
SPEAKER_04: The uh Cleveland Orchestra went on strike this week.
14:52
SPEAKER_04: Uh, fortunately for Cleveland, they have plenty of other entertainment like watching the Browns lose.
14:58
SPEAKER_04: It's uh it's a big deal in Cleveland.
15:04
unknown: Nike.
15:05
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I know.
15:06
SPEAKER_04: Nike has released uh Caitlin Clark's signature shoes this week.
15:10
SPEAKER_04: Uh you can find them at Foot Locker, right next to the 47 other pairs of basketball shoes that no one else on earth has asked for.
15:20
SPEAKER_04: Former jackass and MTV reality star Bam Majera turned 47 this week.
15:28
SPEAKER_04: Somehow.
15:30
SPEAKER_04: That's not a joke.
15:31
SPEAKER_04: That's just a medical mystery.
15:32
SPEAKER_04: No one can really figure out how he's made it this far.
15:34
SPEAKER_04: That's just how it is.
15:36
SPEAKER_04: And finally, uh, Martha Stewart may release nude photos as a as a part of a new project.
15:44
SPEAKER_04: Apparently she's working on a new book entitled Fifty Shades of Really, Really Gray.
15:56
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you're way behind.
16:01
SPEAKER_04: It's Tuesday night update.
16:03
SPEAKER_04: Go to the next photo.
16:04
SPEAKER_04: It's the payoff.
16:06
SPEAKER_08: I'm on the 50 right now.
16:11
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
16:12
SPEAKER_04: There you go.
16:12
SPEAKER_04: That's the payoff right there.
16:15
SPEAKER_04: Really, really crazy.
16:17
SPEAKER_04: That's not right.
16:18
SPEAKER_04: It's not.
16:19
SPEAKER_04: And that's Tuesday night update on the Alpha Med podcast.
16:25
SPEAKER_08: Once again, we're spinning.
16:26
SPEAKER_08: I have no clue why it's spinning like this.
16:30
SPEAKER_08: And that's the end of.
16:57
SPEAKER_04: We're working on that.
16:58
SPEAKER_04: But uh we do want to say hello to Amber and also hello to Scott and Michelle tonight.
17:03
SPEAKER_04: And uh it is time for John's random facts.
17:06
SPEAKER_04: Five random facts, because even in this gathering of brothers, you really should learn something.
17:11
SPEAKER_04: Floor is yours, John.
17:13
SPEAKER_08: Alright, well, my random facts.
17:16
SPEAKER_08: I've got five random facts um for y'all.
17:19
SPEAKER_08: So all right, so first five-first fact.
17:24
SPEAKER_08: A typical grown cat, which threw me off.
17:27
SPEAKER_08: Typical grown cat, so you know, five pounds, whatever.
17:30
SPEAKER_08: Six pounds, can jump between five and six times its height.
17:36
SPEAKER_08: Actually, its length.
17:37
SPEAKER_08: You know, whatever, like length is height's eight.
17:39
SPEAKER_04: Like standing on its hind legs.
17:42
SPEAKER_04: Right.
17:43
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
17:43
SPEAKER_04: So it would be length, right?
17:45
SPEAKER_08: Which would you know, which would generally be eight to nine feet.
17:49
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
17:50
SPEAKER_08: That's the equivalent of a human jumping from the ground up to the third floor.
17:55
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
17:56
SPEAKER_08: That's interesting.
17:57
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's interesting.
17:58
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
17:58
SPEAKER_08: All right.
17:59
SPEAKER_08: I don't know how.
18:00
SPEAKER_08: But a cat can't get off a damn tree.
18:04
SPEAKER_08: That's true.
18:06
SPEAKER_08: Okay.
18:07
SPEAKER_08: So now this one's really weird.
18:09
SPEAKER_08: Which I still were huge back in the early 2000s.
18:13
SPEAKER_08: Um yellow support our troops, Rubbon, you know that.
18:18
SPEAKER_08: It's trademarked.
18:19
SPEAKER_08: It's trademarked like everything else in this world.
18:21
SPEAKER_08: Okay.
18:22
SPEAKER_08: But it's by the Canadian government.
18:27
SPEAKER_04: So uh tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree.
18:32
SPEAKER_04: Uh that was a Canadian artist that sang that song, I believe.
18:36
SPEAKER_04: I think it was it Tony Orlando?
18:39
SPEAKER_04: I'm not sure.
18:41
SPEAKER_04: Anyway.
18:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, people are gonna crucify me for that.
18:43
SPEAKER_04: I'm thinking out loud.
18:45
SPEAKER_04: Um, but uh it's it's the support art troops yellow ribbon is officially trademarked by the Canadian government.
18:55
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
18:56
SPEAKER_04: And nobody can use it without paying the Canadian government.
18:59
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, permission.
19:01
SPEAKER_04: Isn't that crazy?
19:02
SPEAKER_04: Interesting, interesting.
19:03
SPEAKER_04: Okay, all right.
19:04
SPEAKER_08: All right, so everybody knows who Jeff Benzo is.
19:07
SPEAKER_04: Jeff Bezos?
19:10
SPEAKER_04: Bezos.
19:11
SPEAKER_04: Bezos, yeah.
19:12
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, Amazon Jeff, I call him.
19:14
SPEAKER_04: Yep, yep.
19:15
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, so his biological father was a unicycle rider with the Ringling Brothers of Circus.
19:24
SPEAKER_08: So a guy whose father wrote a unicycle.
19:27
SPEAKER_08: So wait a minute.
19:28
SPEAKER_04: Jeff Bezos, who is one of the most one one of the most one of the richest guys in the world.
19:34
SPEAKER_03: World, yes.
19:36
SPEAKER_04: His father was a unicycle riding clown for Ringling Brothers.
19:42
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
19:44
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
19:44
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
19:45
SPEAKER_08: Isn't that insane?
19:46
SPEAKER_08: So yeah, I mean, so I mean, like, you know, like a lot of rich people come from money.
19:50
SPEAKER_04: I don't think he came from the city.
19:51
SPEAKER_04: I don't think he, I don't think he came from money, no.
19:54
SPEAKER_04: I don't think there's a lot of money in being a unicycle riding clown for Ringling Brothers Circus.
19:58
SPEAKER_04: I know.
19:59
SPEAKER_08: I think uh, you know, but he does he divorced Jeff's mother when Jeff was one and he gave up the custody.
20:05
SPEAKER_04: So yeah, I think I read something like he didn't even know that this guy was his dad until he was like in his forties.
20:13
SPEAKER_04: Like something weird like that.
20:15
SPEAKER_04: Anyway, okay.
20:16
SPEAKER_04: All right, that's interesting.
20:17
SPEAKER_04: Number four.
20:18
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, number four.
20:19
SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
20:20
SPEAKER_08: In the 16th century, English kings had servants called grooms of stool.
20:26
SPEAKER_04: I don't like where this is going.
20:29
SPEAKER_08: Their whole job.
20:30
SPEAKER_08: If I was a king, I would have one of these guys.
20:35
SPEAKER_08: They wipe their ass after they're done.
20:37
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I don't like where this is going.
20:40
SPEAKER_08: Listen, groom, come here.
20:43
SPEAKER_04: What were they called?
20:45
SPEAKER_08: Grooms of stool.
20:47
SPEAKER_04: Oh my god, that sounds like a garage badge from Seattle.
20:51
SPEAKER_04: Um oh well, we need to get one for uh Representative Becca Balin in Vermont.
20:58
SPEAKER_04: You know, she's we don't forget to always looking for somebody to rub her wipe her butt.
21:03
SPEAKER_04: That's a she got caught on tape saying that for crying out loud.
21:08
SPEAKER_04: Wow, 60 grooms of stool.
21:12
SPEAKER_08: Last of you feed to the alpha map podcast.
21:19
SPEAKER_08: Okay, Facebook page.
21:22
SPEAKER_08: It dropped.
21:24
SPEAKER_08: Weird.
21:25
SPEAKER_08: It's not us, it's definitely VMUX.
21:28
SPEAKER_08: Okay.
21:29
SPEAKER_08: All right, so my final fact.
21:30
SPEAKER_08: Yep.
21:31
SPEAKER_08: You you could once order dynamite through the Sears catalog, you know, you can buy the houses and all that stuff.
21:36
SPEAKER_04: Yep.
21:37
SPEAKER_08: Uh 1902 edition of the catalog advertised dynamite as a tool for removing tree stumps.
21:42
SPEAKER_08: Claiming to be excellent.
21:44
SPEAKER_08: The listing adds to those who are not familiar with handling dynamite, we will, on application, mail a book giving on the full information.
21:56
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
21:57
SPEAKER_04: So I want you to think about I want you to think about that for a second.
22:00
SPEAKER_04: Today.
22:03
SPEAKER_04: And you go to CVS and they've got the washing machine detergent behind glass.
22:08
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
22:09
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
22:10
SPEAKER_04: By mail in 1902, you could order a bunch of dynamite.
22:20
SPEAKER_08: It's insane.
22:22
SPEAKER_04: That is John's random facts tonight.
22:24
SPEAKER_04: Five random facts delivered straight to your thick skull.
22:27
SPEAKER_04: You actually learned something today, so there you have it.
22:30
SPEAKER_04: It's the Alpha Men podcast.
22:57
SPEAKER_04: It is open season officially open.
23:00
SPEAKER_04: Nothing is protected.
23:00
SPEAKER_04: No topic gets a free pass.
23:02
SPEAKER_04: No sacred cows, no participation trophies.
23:05
SPEAKER_04: And if it moves, we're shooting from the hip and we're shooting at it.
23:08
SPEAKER_04: Tonight's targets, if the war in Iran, is it the war in Iran?
23:14
SPEAKER_04: Or are Biden energy policies and green regulations the real reason gas prices stay high?
23:20
SPEAKER_04: Or is it fair to keep blaming the oil companies?
23:26
SPEAKER_04: Do you have IMS?
23:29
SPEAKER_04: Irritable male syndrome.
23:31
SPEAKER_04: Is it real?
23:32
SPEAKER_04: Or is it just something your wife complains about?
23:36
SPEAKER_04: Has the constant push for safe spaces and emotional protection in our culture actually made people weaker and less resilient instead of stronger?
23:46
SPEAKER_04: And finally, the any the rise of the endless scrolling and short form video, TikTok, reels, shorts.
23:54
SPEAKER_04: Is that permanently wrecking our attention spans?
23:57
SPEAKER_04: Now here's the deal: we're not doing this alone.
23:59
SPEAKER_04: Drop your comments, your hottest tanks in the comment section, and uh they will show up live on the screen.
24:04
SPEAKER_04: Pick a side, pick a target, call us out, defend the indefensible, no warm-up, no disclaimers.
24:10
SPEAKER_04: The season is open, we're going hunting, let's get into it.
24:12
SPEAKER_04: All right.
24:14
SPEAKER_04: Uh is it the Iran war?
24:16
unknown: Yeah.
24:17
SPEAKER_04: Is it Biden era energy policies and green regulations?
24:23
SPEAKER_04: Or is it the oil companies that is keeping gas prices up?
24:29
SPEAKER_08: Well, oil prices are pretty much global, aren't they?
24:32
SPEAKER_04: I mean, so it's oil is a global market.
24:35
SPEAKER_04: That is correct.
24:37
SPEAKER_04: That is correct.
24:38
SPEAKER_04: And so when you realize that global oil is a global market, I see all of these posts this week with people comparing levels of gas and what a barrel of oil costs and how that pertains to the refined product of a gallon of gas, which has very little to do with it, right?
25:00
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
25:01
SPEAKER_04: Um, yes, when oil markets go up suddenly, yeah our gas prices do go up.
25:08
SPEAKER_04: Okay?
25:08
SPEAKER_08: Well, so so but on the so I'm trying to figure out how this whole concept is like if it's pretty much oil company greed.
25:15
SPEAKER_08: That's that's what it is.
25:17
SPEAKER_08: And is it so what it well I that's how I feel because if if oil company greed causes high prices, then what what causes prices to fall when the same companies are still greedy?
25:27
SPEAKER_04: Well, specul speculators, speculators who buy oil on the open market cause cause oil prices to rise.
25:35
SPEAKER_04: Okay, not oil companies.
25:38
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, the stock market, yeah.
25:40
SPEAKER_04: Right?
25:40
SPEAKER_04: Okay, because it is a global market.
25:43
SPEAKER_04: Huh?
25:43
SPEAKER_04: How does it go back down?
25:45
SPEAKER_04: Uh it goes back down by all kinds of things happening.
25:51
SPEAKER_04: It goes back down by fear and speculation driving the barrel down.
25:56
SPEAKER_04: That is one of the reasons it might go down, okay, but it might not go down even if that barrel of oil price drives down if we have a supply and a demand issue.
26:11
SPEAKER_04: Well, in other words, it doesn't matter how much a barrel of oil costs if you can't refine that barrel of oil because you don't have refining capabilities to turn it into gasoline, and the demand for gasoline is way high.
26:32
SPEAKER_04: And vice versa.
26:33
SPEAKER_04: The price of a barrel of oil could be really, really low.
26:38
SPEAKER_04: And the demand for gas could be really, really high, and our refining situation could be in bad shape and could drive the price up, right?
26:48
SPEAKER_08: So what so what's the what's the main reason for the spike though?
26:53
SPEAKER_04: Right now.
26:55
SPEAKER_04: Well, choked infrastructure.
27:00
SPEAKER_04: We can't we canceled pipelines, we placed moratoriums and restrictions on federal land leasing for the oil companies to to have new new um new drilling places, all right.
27:13
SPEAKER_08: Um so so it was from the from the from the Biden era, right?
27:17
SPEAKER_04: Correct.
27:18
SPEAKER_04: Okay, we closed refineries, all right.
27:20
SPEAKER_04: We stopped the pipeline, we stopped drilling in Anwar, we canceled offshore drilling, we did all of these things, and we spent the all of the the reserve.
27:30
SPEAKER_04: You know, we we used up all of the oil reserve, okay?
27:33
SPEAKER_08: And didn't report 13.6 million barrels a day in 2025.
27:38
SPEAKER_04: And how many did we refine?
27:41
SPEAKER_04: I don't know about the refined.
27:42
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
27:42
SPEAKER_04: All right.
27:43
SPEAKER_04: Well, we've closed in the United States prior to Trump, in that four years, we closed six refineries in the United States.
27:53
SPEAKER_04: We took six refineries offline.
27:55
SPEAKER_04: That's why diesel prices are so wickedly expensive because like four of those, four of those were diesel refineries.
28:04
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
28:05
SPEAKER_08: That's why diesel is expensive.
28:07
SPEAKER_04: So um, you know, you cannot, you can, you can blame the oil oil companies.
28:13
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's true, they have record profits.
28:15
SPEAKER_04: They do, they're making money.
28:17
SPEAKER_04: All right.
28:18
SPEAKER_04: However, you also have an administration who for four years, and the guy running for president campaigned on the fact that he was going to put the oil industry out of business.
28:32
SPEAKER_08: Okay?
28:33
SPEAKER_08: So that's the main reason for the spike for the for the big spike.
28:36
SPEAKER_04: So you cannot consistently, you cannot consistently attack an industry for four solid years, slow rolling new permits, canceling pipelines, closing refineries, threatening to put them out of business, and expect that production in your country to grow.
28:57
SPEAKER_04: There's many people who are making there's many people who are making the argument right now that regardless of what happens in the Strait of Hermuz, because we get very, very little of our oil from the Strait of Hermuz, that had we had in place what we had in 2019, refining capability and everything else, that this current day we would be completely isolated from the higher gas prices that the rest of the world is playing.
29:29
SPEAKER_04: But because our oil production and our energy dominance shrunk, okay, over the four years, we're no longer insulated from it.
29:40
SPEAKER_04: Ergo, we're paying higher prices.
29:42
SPEAKER_04: Everybody's upset.
29:44
SPEAKER_04: Now, uh the war in Iran definitely does exacerbate um you know the cost and everything else, but when you look at the erosion of energy independence that um we went through and depleted strategic petroleum reserves, you know, global conflicts trigger a crisis, heavy-handed green revolutions prevent American energy companies from solving it, and then you find yourself in this position.
30:18
SPEAKER_04: There's a lot of people today who say that no matter what is happening in Iran, had we not canceled the pipelines, closed the the um refineries, had we allowed the oil industries to drill in Anwar, if we'd not canceled the offshore drilling, if we'd not slow rode all this stuff, passed all of these environmental uh uh uh uh regulations and kind of strangled the oil industry, we would be completely insulated from what's happening in Iran today.
30:53
SPEAKER_08: So what what exp well then why'd the market jump so much during the change?
31:01
SPEAKER_04: It's going well, it's always going to jump when there's a shock to the system.
31:05
SPEAKER_04: To the wall.
31:06
SPEAKER_04: The the the the the turnaround is how long does that shock to the system last?
31:13
SPEAKER_04: And the argument is it wouldn't have lasted very long because of our energy independence, which we traded away from 2020 to 2024.
31:25
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
31:26
SPEAKER_04: So um, but you may have a different opinion.
31:31
SPEAKER_08: You may think I do I do agree with a lot of your stuff you're saying.
31:34
SPEAKER_08: I just yeah, it's just weird how you know you hear a lot of it's all and I am not a Biden sport at all, but you always hear you know it's because Biden does, Biden did, Biden did that, but Biden did this, but it was kind of fluctuating down, down, down.
31:46
SPEAKER_08: The war came, it spiked back up, but now it's just like I mean it's ridiculous.
31:50
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, this is this is like I can't explain it.
31:54
SPEAKER_08: It sucks.
31:55
SPEAKER_08: I'm glad I don't have my business when I'm driving around every day.
31:58
SPEAKER_04: Oh well, it does suck, but it also is temporary.
32:02
SPEAKER_04: They're they're saying now that Iran has no oil left on the water, which means they have no boats in the water that have oil, which means like a fifth of the world's oil comes through there.
32:14
SPEAKER_04: Correct.
32:16
SPEAKER_04: And right now, right now we're we're one at one point we were there were 20 million barrels of oil that come through that strait.
32:25
SPEAKER_04: We're at 19 right now.
32:27
SPEAKER_04: At one point we were at zero.
32:29
SPEAKER_04: So we're we're close now.
32:32
SPEAKER_04: Supply versus demand, right?
32:34
SPEAKER_04: The entire world is I'm gonna step away from the screen real quick.
32:37
SPEAKER_04: I still hear you.
32:38
SPEAKER_04: The entire world is hungry for oil.
32:40
SPEAKER_04: Russia, China, India, everybody hungry for oil.
32:45
SPEAKER_04: And the fact that we've gone through this for as long as we've gone through it means that it's not gonna that the correction is not going to happen immediately.
32:54
SPEAKER_04: Everybody wants it to happen immediately.
32:57
SPEAKER_04: It's not gonna happen immediately.
32:58
SPEAKER_04: So, you know, that's kind of where we are.
33:02
SPEAKER_04: And uh hopefully, um, you know, they're saying that Iran now has zero, zero boats on the water with oil in them.
33:11
SPEAKER_04: That means the only revenue that the state of Iran makes is through their oil.
33:15
SPEAKER_04: That means they have zero capability to make any money going forward.
33:20
SPEAKER_04: Those boats are gone, they've sold what they can sell, and now they're not getting anything in and out.
33:26
SPEAKER_04: And um the um prior prior to the war, okay, uh actually in 1979, when the Islamic government took over, the Islamic public uh they kicked the Shaw out, one Iranian real was worth$70.
33:52
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
33:53
SPEAKER_04: One you it it took seventy dollars, one Iranian real was the equivalent of$70.
34:03
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
34:04
SPEAKER_04: All right.
34:06
SPEAKER_04: Or you needed$70 to make one real.
34:09
SPEAKER_04: Sorry, I'm I'm getting confused here.
34:10
SPEAKER_04: It's the cough series.
34:12
SPEAKER_04: All right.
34:13
SPEAKER_04: So that's not a great economy, right?
34:15
SPEAKER_04: 70 to 1 is not not a good deal.
34:18
SPEAKER_04: Before the war started, in February, you needed 1.5 million reals to make one dollar.
34:32
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
34:33
SPEAKER_04: Now today, you need two point eight million reals to make one dollar.
34:43
SPEAKER_04: That means two point eight million to buy a candy bar.
34:51
SPEAKER_04: Okay?
34:52
SPEAKER_04: That's okay.
34:52
SPEAKER_04: So Iran is not gonna be able to last.
34:56
SPEAKER_04: This thing is gonna be over.
34:58
SPEAKER_04: And hopefully the the distribution, everything returns as quickly as possible.
35:06
SPEAKER_04: The supply versus it's gonna take a while to figure out that supply versus demand stuff.
35:10
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
35:11
SPEAKER_04: Because it's you don't immediately get that back.
35:16
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
35:18
SPEAKER_04: Alright, next topic.
35:19
SPEAKER_04: Do you have IMS?
35:22
SPEAKER_04: Irritable man syndrome.
35:26
unknown: Yes.
35:27
SPEAKER_04: Is it real or is it just something your wife complains about?
35:32
SPEAKER_08: Um, wait, how do they die in that IMS?
35:38
unknown: Okay.
35:38
SPEAKER_08: Is it how hard you slam the cabinet door?
35:41
SPEAKER_04: Or is it how hard you well, scientists are starting to use the term IMS, irritable man syndrome, yeah, as a real condition.
35:52
SPEAKER_04: If you ever notice some guys get a little more get off my lawn with age, you know what I mean?
35:56
SPEAKER_08: I think that's irritating is a symptom.
36:00
SPEAKER_08: It's I mean, you can't wait to buy a blood test.
36:02
SPEAKER_04: Well, they finally gave it a name, Irritable Male Syndrome, IMS.
36:07
SPEAKER_04: It's basically what happens when your testosterone starts packing its bags and quietly leaving the building.
36:13
SPEAKER_04: And it's not an official medical diagnosis, but doctors and psychologists are using it today because uh just being a cranky bastard doesn't sound formal enough.
36:23
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
36:30
SPEAKER_08: If every if every gruppy grumpy man, guy, whatever, has IMS, I hope uh loads of home people have an oncology department.
36:38
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, right.
36:39
SPEAKER_04: We're all we're all grumpy.
36:41
SPEAKER_04: Maybe just men wanted their own version of menopause so they could complain too.
36:45
SPEAKER_04: Oh, Lord.
36:46
SPEAKER_04: I'm just I'm just saying.
36:48
SPEAKER_04: The term invented in 2001 by a Scottish scientist named Dr.
36:53
SPEAKER_04: Gerald Lincoln, he was studying hormonal changes in animals.
36:58
SPEAKER_04: Yes, really.
36:59
SPEAKER_04: And he says the symptoms include random irradibility over nothing, low motivation, I'll do it tomorrow.
37:09
SPEAKER_04: Or never really, fatigue, trouble concentrating, sleep problems, reduced libido, losing muscle while mysteriously gaining gut.
37:18
SPEAKER_04: And he says what helps all the things you're gonna hate.
37:24
SPEAKER_04: Exercise, eat like an adult, sleep like it's your job, and long, uninterrupted periods of pure chilling out, he says, helps with with IMS.
37:35
SPEAKER_08: So the doctor, you go and you tell him all your symptoms, and he does a bunch of batteries and tests, and he goes back and says, Yep, he's positive for IMS.
37:43
SPEAKER_04: Right, right.
37:45
SPEAKER_04: It's like that movie Grumpy Old Men.
37:48
SPEAKER_04: Was it the Walter Mathow and and John uh and and um what's the Lemon?
37:53
SPEAKER_04: I can't think of the guy's first name.
37:55
SPEAKER_04: I know his first name was I know who you're talking about.
37:58
SPEAKER_04: Mathow and Lemon, Grumpy Old Men.
38:00
SPEAKER_04: That's a great movie, man.
38:01
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, great, actually, great couple of movies.
38:04
SPEAKER_04: There were a couple sequels to that.
38:05
SPEAKER_04: So all right, on to culture Hollywood tonight.
38:09
SPEAKER_04: Has the constant push for safe spaces and emotional protection actually made people weaker and less resilient?
38:21
SPEAKER_04: I don't understand this at all.
38:24
unknown: Okay.
38:25
SPEAKER_08: This is what I was I was kind of hard trying to find like stuff to talk about because to me, safe spaces are crappy shit.
38:33
SPEAKER_04: I just don't like that everybody's so worried about everybody else's feelings.
38:38
SPEAKER_04: Call me old school.
38:40
SPEAKER_04: Call me you know, when I was growing up, nobody asked me how I was feeling.
38:45
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
38:46
SPEAKER_08: How do you feel about that?
38:48
SPEAKER_08: You know I look at the whole I heard this I heard this subway a long time ago.
38:52
SPEAKER_08: It's not a racetrack.
38:53
SPEAKER_08: Somebody was talking about safe spaces because the racetrack tried one.
38:56
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, they call the say called the pit stop safe space.
39:00
SPEAKER_08: Oh my god.
39:01
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I won't disclose the track, but it wasn't at the racetrack.
39:05
SPEAKER_08: And some I can't not remember who I was working with said it, but they're like uh probably say this wrong, but it was like a life jacket can save you, right?
39:14
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, if he if you never learned to swim because he refused to take it off, that's a different problem.
39:19
SPEAKER_08: It's the same concept as a safe space.
39:21
SPEAKER_08: You gotta get out and deal with your problems and and take that life jacket off.
39:24
SPEAKER_04: Well, that's the thing.
39:26
SPEAKER_04: That's the thing.
39:27
SPEAKER_04: I mean, here's the thing.
39:29
SPEAKER_04: We're we're raising a whole generation of adults who don't know how to resolve problems at all, don't know how to resolve conflict, don't know how to handle their emotions, don't have you know, look, when I was a kid, there there was no therapist, there were no safe spaces.
39:48
SPEAKER_04: You know what my therapy was?
39:49
SPEAKER_04: Come on the lawn.
39:52
SPEAKER_04: Or I'll beat you.
39:53
SPEAKER_04: You know, you're right, you know, Michael's kids in therapy again.
39:56
SPEAKER_04: Their lawn looks fabulous, you know.
39:58
SPEAKER_08: Like I and I I get it, I get it.
40:02
SPEAKER_08: You know, this some people do need that little security.
40:04
SPEAKER_08: I mean, don't get me wrong.
40:05
SPEAKER_08: There is, but where do you draw the line between protecting someone from harm and ridiculous ridicules and stuff like that and shielding from an ordinary disagreement?
40:13
SPEAKER_08: That's a part of Michael.
40:15
SPEAKER_04: I think there are legitimately times where there are people who need help and should have some sort of comfort space, safe space.
40:26
SPEAKER_04: People looking out for their psychological well-being and welfare.
40:30
SPEAKER_04: Okay, yes.
40:31
SPEAKER_04: However, having said that, just like we do everything else in this country, we push that idea to the ultimate extreme to the point where it's so stupid you're asking questions like, really?
40:45
SPEAKER_04: Seriously, you know, like don't be a wuss.
40:49
SPEAKER_04: Get you know, get back in the game, you know.
40:54
SPEAKER_08: They're not gonna build confidence or or or a shell by keep going to safe space.
40:59
SPEAKER_08: I mean, here's the deal.
41:00
SPEAKER_04: It's a you can't have a temporary solution.
41:02
SPEAKER_04: If you're shielding people from ideas or words or language or speakers, if you're shielding kids from everything that makes them uncomfortable, one day you're not gonna be able to shield them from that.
41:17
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and they're not gonna be able to deal with it.
41:20
SPEAKER_07: That's correct.
41:21
SPEAKER_04: So, guess what?
41:23
SPEAKER_04: The safe spaces, they gotta go.
41:28
SPEAKER_04: They gotta go.
41:29
SPEAKER_04: I don't disagree there.
41:31
SPEAKER_04: Finally, technology open season topic number four tonight.
41:36
SPEAKER_04: Has the rise of endless scrolling and short form video, TikTok, reels, shorts, just completely wrecked our uh our attention spans.
41:49
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because I keep looking at my phone, I'm sitting there just looking for my phone while I was reading that.
41:54
SPEAKER_08: Well, but when you're talking sometimes on your rants, I sit there and type.
41:58
SPEAKER_08: Um yes, it's absolutely destroyed.
42:06
SPEAKER_08: And I tell my wife this all the time because she she's got more miles on her thumb, and I'm older than her by eight years than I have on my feet.
42:13
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
42:14
SPEAKER_04: She needs like a thumb replacement.
42:18
SPEAKER_08: She's gonna have a thumb that's I don't understand how it's not like she's gonna have muscles in it.
42:23
SPEAKER_08: It's just insane.
42:24
SPEAKER_08: And don't get me wrong, I'll sit here and scroll sometimes, but not like some her.
42:27
SPEAKER_08: But there's a lot of people, my daughter.
42:29
SPEAKER_08: I mean, we all do it.
42:30
SPEAKER_08: I mean, we're at pack the pantry, and we're having a few minutes of of downtime.
42:34
SPEAKER_08: We're sitting there.
42:37
SPEAKER_08: So it is a good mental break for but we've got too far.
42:42
SPEAKER_04: Here's my problem.
42:43
SPEAKER_04: Here's my problem.
42:44
SPEAKER_04: I was uh I spent 35 years on the radio, had to do social media and all this stuff for my job.
42:52
SPEAKER_04: Uh, but you know, early on, um, I was the one walking around the house going, Will you put your phone down?
43:00
SPEAKER_04: Will you stop that?
43:03
SPEAKER_04: Can we focus?
43:04
SPEAKER_04: Can we eat dinner?
43:05
SPEAKER_04: Put it away.
43:06
SPEAKER_04: I was doing all that until it got to a point where I was outnumbered and everybody was doing it.
43:13
SPEAKER_04: And nobody in the household was talking to each other.
43:15
SPEAKER_04: And so, what do I do?
43:17
SPEAKER_04: Pull out my phone and I start going, right?
43:20
SPEAKER_04: And what you don't understand is when you, especially with like reels and tick tock and all that other stuff, that thing's like a digital slot machine.
43:32
SPEAKER_04: Right?
43:33
SPEAKER_04: All right, you're just going, and your brain is like, give me a payoff, give me a payoff.
43:38
SPEAKER_04: All right, give me something funny, give me something informative, give me something sad, give me a give me that dopamine shot that I'm looking for, and I'm gonna keep going, keep going until I find it.
43:48
SPEAKER_04: And then when I find it, it's just like you when you were little playing the playing the um playing the video games on the um on the video.
44:00
SPEAKER_04: Whatever video game machine you had in your era.
44:02
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna say Atari, and you're gonna go, you old bastard, right?
44:06
SPEAKER_04: But no.
44:08
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
44:08
SPEAKER_04: But you were you're playing the game, playing the game, playing the game, and you die, and you're like, one more game, just one more game, right?
44:17
SPEAKER_04: All of a sudden it's three o'clock in the morning, right?
44:20
SPEAKER_04: And then when you're done with that, and you have to enter back into the real world, okay, not the world that you've created yourself on social media, not your avatar, not your video game buddies, and and not the way you present yourself on YouTube or TikTok or anywhere else.
44:39
SPEAKER_04: And you have to have actual conversations with people, and you have to actually listen and pay attention and retain information.
44:49
SPEAKER_04: You can't anymore.
44:50
SPEAKER_04: Why?
44:52
SPEAKER_04: Because it was one more cat interview, one more cat video, one more, one more.
44:58
SPEAKER_04: Look at this guy get hit in the balls with the baseball bat, you know, like like one more, right?
45:04
SPEAKER_08: The whole the whole job of of the of social media is not to improve your attention span.
45:10
SPEAKER_08: It's pretty much just so you don't leave.
45:12
SPEAKER_08: So you see the next ad, so you see that next little dopamine hit.
45:15
SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's well, and and and look, uh listen, and you're not gonna like that.
45:19
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna go there here because I know how you feel about it, but we're streamlining television shows and streamlining sports and making it shorter and smaller and easier to digest because people are losing the ability to retain information to concentrate and pay attention.
45:39
SPEAKER_04: Because they get bored too easily, and that's why NASCAR is running running segments and all of this other stuff.
45:49
SPEAKER_08: They're running segments because of it.
45:50
SPEAKER_08: So that's the only reason they do it.
45:52
SPEAKER_08: 100% away from management.
45:54
SPEAKER_04: They're hoping that they're hoping that they're gonna get you to tune in for ones.
45:58
SPEAKER_04: They figure if they can't get not gonna get you for the whole race.
46:02
SPEAKER_04: If they can get you for one segment, that's at least something.
46:05
unknown: Yep.
46:05
SPEAKER_08: Okay, and I probably from management's mouth up there when I worked there from the race control.
46:10
SPEAKER_08: Wait from the president and vice president saying the whole purpose of segments is for ad space.
46:15
SPEAKER_08: Yep.
46:16
SPEAKER_08: Because they were losing too much money on ads running a full race.
46:21
SPEAKER_04: No.
46:21
SPEAKER_04: Well, there you have it.
46:24
SPEAKER_04: That is open season tonight.
46:25
SPEAKER_04: We came, we saw, we shot everything that moved.
46:28
SPEAKER_04: Some takes will survive and some will not.
46:31
SPEAKER_04: If you got ammo left, dump uh some of it in the uh comments tonight.
46:35
SPEAKER_04: If you agree with us, if you don't, roast us, double down, drop the table, say some things we were too scared to say, doesn't matter.
46:42
SPEAKER_04: And the next ones, the best ones might get dragged into next week's hunt.
46:46
SPEAKER_04: We'll uh see you on the next open season on the Alpha Men podcast.
47:57
SPEAKER_01: Step forward and plead your case.
47:59
SPEAKER_01: Just know the verdict was probably decided before you started talking.
48:08
SPEAKER_08: Welcome to Mancourt, everybody.
48:15
SPEAKER_04: Uh thank you, Beard of Justice.
48:16
SPEAKER_08: Bailiff Big Huey this morning.
48:19
SPEAKER_04: Uh you can send in your domestic disputes.
48:21
SPEAKER_04: We'll haul them into mancourt for a ruling with the uh guidance of a freak jury that'll hold up at any bar in America.
48:27
SPEAKER_04: And uh if you've got a problem that needs solving, you can uh visit any of our social media pages and drop your mancourt dilemma in a DM.
48:34
SPEAKER_04: All right.
48:34
SPEAKER_08: And you can join the free joy can join join us by commenting uh wherever you'll be watching from tonight and give our plaintiff your advice.
48:41
SPEAKER_08: Just hit the the comment tab and uh we'll read it out loud.
48:45
SPEAKER_04: All righty.
48:46
SPEAKER_04: Let's dive into tonight's case where bad decisions are put on trial, and common sense is the only law we pretend to follow.
48:54
SPEAKER_08: So docket number 261006.
48:58
SPEAKER_08: Our plaintiff is Jeff from Walterboro, South Carolina.
49:02
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
49:02
SPEAKER_08: It's called the Case of the Unannounced Die Job Deception.
49:07
SPEAKER_04: All righty.
49:08
SPEAKER_04: Jeff writes, Dear Judge and baby Huey, found the Alpha Men podcast last winter and was really digging it, and then poof, you slackers decide to take the whole summer off.
49:18
SPEAKER_04: I had to drink beer on Tuesday nights in my underwear and my air-conditioned he shed without you guys.
49:24
SPEAKER_04: Jeff, that might be a little bit too much information.
49:27
SPEAKER_04: I just uh you might be getting a little too comfortable with the show.
49:30
SPEAKER_04: I'm just telling you.
49:31
SPEAKER_04: Anyway, uh glad you're back and wanted to submit a mancourt case.
49:35
SPEAKER_04: I love my wife, but I came home two days ago and I kind of was totally taken by surprise and knocked off my feet.
49:44
SPEAKER_04: I walked in on a brunette that looked just like my wife.
49:48
SPEAKER_04: Apparently, with the new fall season, she decided she wanted a new look, but she could tell by the look on my face, I wasn't really thrilled.
50:01
SPEAKER_04: Look, don't get me wrong, she's beautiful, and she still is, but I'm so used to seeing her gorgeous blonde hair.
50:10
SPEAKER_04: Wouldn't it have been more considerate to ask how I felt first?
50:14
SPEAKER_04: Who knows, maybe I would have reacted differently.
50:17
SPEAKER_04: Maybe it wouldn't have been that big of a deal.
50:20
SPEAKER_04: I mean, how would she feel if I came home with my head shaved without consulting her?
50:25
SPEAKER_04: I thought in a committed relationship you discuss things openly, or is that not how it works anymore?
50:32
SPEAKER_04: I'm sure I could use some freak jury input here and some man court justice.
50:38
SPEAKER_04: Jeff, Walterborough, South Carolina.
50:43
SPEAKER_08: Alright.
50:44
SPEAKER_08: So I just got notification from Facebook.
50:46
SPEAKER_08: Uh-huh.
50:47
SPEAKER_08: About our video, our live.
50:49
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
50:53
SPEAKER_08: We removed your live video why this happened.
50:56
SPEAKER_04: Uh this is gonna be good.
51:01
SPEAKER_04: Great.
51:03
SPEAKER_08: Violence and entice enticement.
51:06
SPEAKER_08: We'd allow people to share or send something that could encourage violence, either risk of physical harm or direct threat for public safety.
51:12
SPEAKER_04: What what did when did we do that?
51:15
SPEAKER_08: Uh it went down in the first.
51:31
SPEAKER_04: What the fact that you swear before 10 54 a.m.
51:36
SPEAKER_08: That has to I think it has to be during that, yeah.
51:41
SPEAKER_04: That is crazy.
51:43
SPEAKER_04: That is crazy.
51:46
SPEAKER_08: I'm gonna appeal it, but I think we should.
51:55
SPEAKER_08: I'm gonna take a master in that review.
51:57
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
52:00
SPEAKER_04: Man.
52:02
SPEAKER_04: I thought YouTube was the one that was the big problem.
52:04
SPEAKER_04: Facebook, really?
52:08
SPEAKER_04: Anyway, can we get back to Mancourt now?
52:11
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, sorry, I just popped up and I was like, I forget you.
52:15
SPEAKER_04: I do want to hear that.
52:17
SPEAKER_04: But uh, in any case, uh Jeff from Walterboro, South Carolina.
52:23
SPEAKER_04: And uh Freak Jury, if you have uh uh advice or comments for Jeff, we would love to see him.
52:30
SPEAKER_04: Yep.
52:31
SPEAKER_04: So comment wherever you may be watching tonight, they'll show up on the screen live.
52:35
SPEAKER_04: Uh listen, here's the deal.
52:37
SPEAKER_04: Jeff walks into his house, nearly calls the cops on a strange brunette, turns out to be his wife.
52:44
SPEAKER_04: The wife executed a full season fall glow-up without as much of a hey babe, what do you think?
52:53
SPEAKER_04: text.
52:55
SPEAKER_04: So, Jeff's lifelong blonde fantasy just got hit with a surprise plot twist and zero trailer.
53:04
SPEAKER_04: And this really comes down to mutually assured destruction.
53:08
SPEAKER_04: Because there is such a thing as the when you're married, and you know this, John, there there is uh such thing as the mutually assured destruction clause in your marriage.
53:18
SPEAKER_04: Okay, which says she goes short, you go chromedome.
53:26
SPEAKER_04: Right?
53:27
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
53:29
SPEAKER_04: And I bet she hates chromome.
53:33
SPEAKER_04: At least Jeff's wife.
53:37
SPEAKER_04: So Jeff is arguing that his hair that that the the hair equivalent of coming home with a new truck saying, surprise, we're a Ford family now.
53:47
SPEAKER_04: You know.
53:49
SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah.
53:51
SPEAKER_04: There probably should have been some sort of warning there.
53:53
SPEAKER_04: I'm just I'm just saying.
53:55
SPEAKER_04: But uh what does Michelle have to say?
54:00
SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's not that's from earlier.
54:02
SPEAKER_04: Alright.
54:03
SPEAKER_04: Alrighty.
54:04
SPEAKER_04: So, look, this this one's pretty easy, don't you think?
54:08
SPEAKER_04: Pretty straightforward.
54:09
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I I'm not into telling my wife how she needs to look or or what she needs to do, or she can do whatever she wants.
54:20
SPEAKER_04: It would just be nice to know that she's doing it before she does it.
54:26
SPEAKER_04: And that sort of like coming home with the purple hair.
54:32
SPEAKER_04: That I might not be too excited about.
54:35
SPEAKER_08: You've been married too long now.
54:37
SPEAKER_08: Would it shock you really?
54:39
SPEAKER_08: Or would you be like, oh, she's expressing no, it would shock me.
54:43
SPEAKER_08: What what's what's wrong?
54:44
SPEAKER_08: What's wrong, Hans?
54:46
SPEAKER_08: What I do.
54:47
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
54:48
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I know.
54:48
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, no.
54:49
SPEAKER_04: Adeline wants to do some of that, you know, and I was like, Yeah, but uh Adeline is how old?
54:56
SPEAKER_04: 11.
54:57
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
54:58
SPEAKER_04: Adeline's 11.
55:00
SPEAKER_08: And I told her I don't mind it.
55:02
SPEAKER_04: And actually being being actually being her real biological dad, I should know that.
55:08
SPEAKER_04: But um Adeline being 11 is a lot different than a 30 or 40-year-old woman.
55:19
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
55:19
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
55:20
SPEAKER_08: I mean, Emily did it like 10 years, eight, ten years ago when we lived down here.
55:23
SPEAKER_04: She got some colors in her hair, and I was like, cool, but I don't have a problem with color if it's like something that happens in nature.
55:33
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
55:34
SPEAKER_08: You ever seen a bug at one shield?
55:36
SPEAKER_08: That's some pretty cool colors in there.
55:37
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well.
55:39
SPEAKER_04: All right.
55:40
SPEAKER_04: And I actually probably wouldn't have a problem.
55:42
SPEAKER_04: Well, no, I would have.
55:44
SPEAKER_04: The purple hair and the blue hair stuff, I would have a problem with.
55:46
SPEAKER_04: There's just the the the lime green, neon hair, the purple hair, and the blue hair.
55:52
SPEAKER_04: I'm probably having a problem with that.
55:55
SPEAKER_08: I would say the the hair color you have right now, but I imagine it's your beard, Santa.
56:00
SPEAKER_08: Oh my goodness.
56:01
SPEAKER_08: You've got a lot of your beard has got a really gray this year.
56:05
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
56:06
SPEAKER_04: So anyway, here's the deal.
56:09
SPEAKER_04: Uh, Jeff, your wife, guilty of unauthorized hair regime change.
56:18
SPEAKER_04: Okay?
56:20
SPEAKER_04: We have to immediately schedule a blonde reunion tour.
56:24
SPEAKER_04: Or at minimum offer you uh free, would you like me to go back consultation?
56:31
SPEAKER_04: And uh listen, stop pouting in the heat shed.
56:36
SPEAKER_04: Instead, take her out for dinner while the new hair is shiny.
56:40
SPEAKER_04: But the mutually assured destruction clause is hereby upgraded.
56:43
SPEAKER_04: Next time either party makes a major appearance change without a 48-hour warning, the other gets a free I told you so, and dibs on the remote for two weeks.
56:51
SPEAKER_04: Okay, both parties ordered to remember that marriage is a team sport, even when one teammate suddenly shows up in a different jersey.
56:59
SPEAKER_04: So that is uh the verdict tonight.
57:02
SPEAKER_04: Send your cases to the Alpha Men Podcast, go to our Facebook page, send us a DM.
57:07
SPEAKER_04: Court is endurant.
57:08
SPEAKER_04: Till next week's batch of bad decisions roll in.
57:11
SPEAKER_04: That's Man Court tonight on the Alpha Men Podcast.
57:15
SPEAKER_03: Since you're attacking us, can you give us a question?
57:18
SPEAKER_03: Organization our news organization.
57:21
SPEAKER_03: Give us a chance to ask a question, sir.
57:22
SPEAKER_03: Go ahead, sir.
57:28
SPEAKER_03: You are fake news.
57:44
SPEAKER_04: Three of them are 100% made-up bullcrap.
57:48
SPEAKER_04: Yes, one is gloriously embarrassingly real.
57:51
SPEAKER_04: Your job, baby Huey, is to wade through the fake news and identify the real news story tonight.
57:57
SPEAKER_04: It's free, by the way, to play our home game.
58:00
SPEAKER_04: Just type in the comments what story you think is the real news.
58:03
SPEAKER_04: Because let's face it, John can use all the help he can get.
58:06
SPEAKER_04: Are you ready?
58:09
SPEAKER_04: All right.
58:10
SPEAKER_04: Headline number one.
58:12
SPEAKER_04: Arkansas couple cancels wedding after bride's dad insists on walking her down the aisle on riding lawnmower.
58:22
SPEAKER_04: Arkansas couple cancels wedding after bride's dad insists on walking her down the aisle on riding lawnmower.
58:31
SPEAKER_04: That's um headline number one.
58:32
SPEAKER_04: If this was Louisiana, it's absolutely true.
58:36
SPEAKER_04: Headline number two.
58:39
SPEAKER_04: Tennessee sports bar starts charging extra for anyone who says, let's agree to disagree on college football Saturdays.
58:49
SPEAKER_04: All right, that's headline number two.
58:53
SPEAKER_04: Headline number three.
58:54
SPEAKER_04: Iowa school teacher has been fined for offering students extra credit in return for cash donations to her personal GoFundMe account.
59:05
SPEAKER_04: Headline number three.
59:08
SPEAKER_04: Iowa high school teacher has been fired for offering students extra credit in return for cash donations to her personal GoFundMe account.
59:16
SPEAKER_04: And the final headline of the week Michigan man buys second refrigerator just for leftovers because his wife keeps throwing them out too soon.
59:30
SPEAKER_04: Those are your headlines uh this week.
59:32
SPEAKER_04: You got uh uh Arkansas couple cancels wedding after dad walks her down the aisle on the riding lawnmower.
59:40
SPEAKER_04: Uh Tennessee Sports Bar starts charging extra for anyone who says let's agree to disagree.
59:45
SPEAKER_04: Iowa school teacher fired for offering students extra credit in return for cash donations to her GoFundMe account, and Michigan Man buys second refrigerator just for leftovers because wife keeps throwing them out too soon.
59:59
SPEAKER_04: Baby Huey, the floor is yours.
1:00:01
SPEAKER_04: Which story is the real is the real news story.
1:00:09
SPEAKER_08: The first one sounds like it came out of Mississippi or Louisiana.
1:00:12
SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_04: It's Arkansas.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_08: I know, but it just feels like more fine twenty twang.
1:00:18
SPEAKER_08: You know, second one, the buyer one, that makes sense in a college town.
1:00:24
SPEAKER_07: Mm-hmm.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_08: School teacher?
1:00:27
SPEAKER_08: That definitely sounds like somebody what somebody would do.
1:00:31
SPEAKER_08: And I know what this guy does, I feel.
1:00:33
SPEAKER_08: I feel him now.
1:00:34
SPEAKER_08: Because there's times I go like, ooh, what was that seven-day old whatever?
1:00:38
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I am I am honest to God, I am always bitching in this house about people throwing leftovers out.
1:00:43
SPEAKER_04: Like I come home and I'm thinking, oh, there's leftovers in the fridge, and they're gone, and I'm like, oh.
1:00:50
unknown: Yeah.
1:00:52
SPEAKER_08: I'm gonna go with a school teacher one because this sounds like that's society today.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_04: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
1:00:59
SPEAKER_04: You are correct.
1:01:02
SPEAKER_04: An Iowa high school teacher got herself fired after offering students extra credit in exchange for cash donations to her personal GoFundMe.
1:01:11
SPEAKER_04: Stephanie Mulley basically turned her classroom into a soft serve version of a pay-to-play scheme.
1:01:17
SPEAKER_04: She told kids she was raising money for her personal education goals, which apparently included flights, buses, boats, food, cruises, and hotel stays.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_04: Because nothing says I'm furthering my education like a GoFundMe for boat money.
1:01:34
SPEAKER_04: Some students actually donated between five and fifty bucks.
1:01:39
SPEAKER_04: Because you know, teenagers are easily pressured when their grade is on the line.
1:01:44
SPEAKER_04: The whole campaign originally pulled out, pulled in a whopping$140 out of her$1,800 goal before it got shut down.
1:01:54
SPEAKER_04: School district wasn't exactly impressed.
1:01:56
SPEAKER_04: They fired her in May, and when she tried to collect unemployment, the judge basically said, Yeah, nice try.
1:02:07
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
1:02:07
SPEAKER_04: Clever.
1:02:09
SPEAKER_08: But kids talk.
1:02:10
SPEAKER_04: He called her actions a willful disregard of her employer's interests.
1:02:14
SPEAKER_04: So, to recap, teacher tries to hustle kids for extra credit cash, raises less money than a decent weekend tip jar, loses her job and her unemployment in the process.
1:02:25
SPEAKER_04: These are the people we rely on to teach our kids.
1:02:32
SPEAKER_04: Not exactly what you would call smart.
1:02:35
SPEAKER_04: Only in public education, folks.
1:02:38
SPEAKER_04: So embarrassingly, that is the real news tonight on real or fake news on the Alpha Men podcast.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_08: What about oh good.
1:02:50
SPEAKER_08: They they said that we did not violate, but we can't go back live on it.
1:02:54
SPEAKER_08: So they suspended our page for 27 minutes.
1:02:58
SPEAKER_08: Those bastards.
1:03:00
SPEAKER_08: Uh-huh.
1:03:01
SPEAKER_01: Alright, so uh Red Foreman.
1:03:06
SPEAKER_01: And now the Red Foreman Awards, where you make dumb choices, you will win dumbass awards.
1:03:12
SPEAKER_04: You dumbass.
1:03:22
SPEAKER_04: Alrighty.
1:03:24
SPEAKER_04: Welcome to the Red Foreman Awards on the Alphaben Podcast, the only award show where the trophy is a size 12 steel-toed boot delivered straight to your rear end.
1:03:32
SPEAKER_04: Brought to you by Point Place's patron saint of dumbassery himself, the great Red Foreman.
1:03:39
SPEAKER_04: Tonight we're handing out golden Foremans to some of the most impressively stupid criminals walking the planet.
1:03:44
SPEAKER_04: These people didn't just break the law.
1:03:47
SPEAKER_04: They set it on fire, danced on it, then asked for a participation trophy.
1:03:52
SPEAKER_04: So uh let's award some golden formans this evening.
1:03:56
SPEAKER_04: Golden Foreman number one, the Hold My Cheesesteak, I'm going viral award.
1:04:02
SPEAKER_04: And that tonight, the winner is unknown.
1:04:07
SPEAKER_04: Approximately six feet, 170-pound man from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_04: This genius filmed himself complaining that his Pat's King of Stakes cheesesteak was garbage.
1:04:22
SPEAKER_04: Then he yeeted the entire sandwich into the employee's face and ran.
1:04:26
SPEAKER_04: Pat's was offering a$5,000 reward.
1:04:29
SPEAKER_04: The employee is fine, but permanently scarred by the phrase, I'm not used to getting steak thrown in my face.
1:04:37
SPEAKER_04: Turns out the uh sandwich slinging influencer eventually turned himself in.
1:04:42
SPEAKER_04: But much to our dismay, they have not named him yet.
1:04:45
SPEAKER_04: It's always more fun that way when we have a name.
1:04:47
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
1:04:49
SPEAKER_04: Uh, why did he turn himself in?
1:04:50
SPEAKER_04: Because nothing says content creator like realizing the$5,000 reward was about to make you the most famous dumbass in South Philly, so yeah.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_04: Pro tip, buddy.
1:05:01
SPEAKER_04: Uh, if you don't like the food, just leave a bad review like a normal loser.
1:05:06
SPEAKER_04: Don't uh turn your lunch into a felony content creation attempt.
1:05:10
SPEAKER_04: And by the way, John's Rose Pork, Angelo's, Delisandro's, they all have the best steaks in Philly.
1:05:19
SPEAKER_04: Pat's and Gino's are garbage for tourists.
1:05:22
SPEAKER_04: And everybody knows that.
1:05:24
SPEAKER_04: That dog.
1:05:26
SPEAKER_08: That guy hit he threw his Philly cheesesteak in that guy's face.
1:05:29
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
1:05:30
SPEAKER_04: No.
1:05:30
SPEAKER_08: At least he hit his target unlike Jalen Hurts.
1:05:33
SPEAKER_04: Now, shut up.
1:05:34
SPEAKER_04: Just shut up.
1:05:36
SPEAKER_04: Golden Foreman number two.
1:05:38
SPEAKER_04: The McMuffin or Death Award.
1:05:43
SPEAKER_04: This one going to an unnamed motorcyclist in Virginia.
1:05:47
SPEAKER_04: I know it's more fun when we have names, but it's weird weak.
1:05:50
SPEAKER_04: Uh, this speed demon was doing 72 and a 25.
1:05:55
SPEAKER_04: I told the officers it was because he woke up late and needed that magic.
1:06:00
SPEAKER_04: McDonald's breakfast sandwich.
1:06:03
SPEAKER_04: No socks, no common sense.
1:06:07
SPEAKER_04: Just uh just pure McNugget and urgency, I guess.
1:06:12
SPEAKER_04: When the cop asked why, he said, I was moving a little too quick, wasn't I?
1:06:17
SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah, champ.
1:06:18
SPEAKER_04: The first thing uh that was gonna fly off the bike wasn't your dignity, it's already gone.
1:06:23
SPEAKER_04: So uh that's kind of the deal.
1:06:25
unknown: Okay.
1:06:26
SPEAKER_04: Uh it's not worth a not worth a three dollar McDonald's.
1:06:30
SPEAKER_04: Well, I mean for McMuffin.
1:06:33
SPEAKER_04: Just say.
1:06:34
SPEAKER_04: Uh Golden Foreman number three tonight, the Chat GPT made me do it award.
1:06:39
SPEAKER_04: Uh, but also told me to chill with mozzarella sticks.
1:06:43
SPEAKER_04: That goes to Ryan Schaefer.
1:06:45
SPEAKER_04: Now there is Ryan, young squire, 19, college student, Springfield, Missouri.
1:06:51
SPEAKER_04: This absolute scholar vandalized 17 vehicles.
1:06:56
SPEAKER_04: And after doing it, immediately hopped on Chat GPT to ask, hey, could I go to jail for that?
1:07:03
SPEAKER_04: That's a question I asked before.
1:07:06
SPEAKER_04: No, now ChatGPT uh gave him solid damage control advice, including the timeless tip uh enjoy your mozzarella sticks and stay low-key.
1:07:19
SPEAKER_04: The cops found the entire conversation on his phone.
1:07:22
SPEAKER_04: Ellen says criminal mastermind like asking an AI for legal advice while covered in cheese and marinara sauce, along with car scratch evidence.
1:07:34
SPEAKER_04: Dumbass.
1:07:35
SPEAKER_04: Golden Foreman number four.
1:07:39
SPEAKER_04: The gotta catch them all, including a felony award.
1:07:43
SPEAKER_04: That is gonna go to young 72-year-old Kent Kubasta from Ohio.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_04: Now, Kent is at an age when most men are really riddled with IMS.
1:07:59
SPEAKER_04: Irritable man syndrome, right?
1:08:01
SPEAKER_04: Arguing about the remote, get off my lawn, you know, the whole nine yards.
1:08:07
SPEAKER_04: Uh Kent slapped an illegal GPS tracker on a delivery driver's van so he could stock Pokemon card drops.
1:08:20
SPEAKER_04: He got caught, fine$500, put on probation with the GPS monitor.
1:08:25
SPEAKER_04: Hey, what are you in for?
1:08:28
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I was trying to get all the good Pokemon cards.
1:08:35
SPEAKER_04: You know, the universe has a sense of humor.
1:08:38
SPEAKER_04: And it kind of just force fed this man his own medicine.
1:08:41
SPEAKER_04: I'm just saying.
1:08:43
SPEAKER_04: And finally tonight, Golden Foreman number five.
1:08:46
SPEAKER_04: The we thought it was AI chips.
1:08:49
SPEAKER_04: Turns out it was just dirt award.
1:08:53
SPEAKER_04: Winner, unnamed thieves, trailer thieves, in Carlsbound, California.
1:09:01
SPEAKER_04: These masterminds stole two semi-trailers covered in Nvidia and plus AI logos.
1:09:10
SPEAKER_04: Dreaming of a multi-million dollar chip heist.
1:09:14
SPEAKER_04: Inside not chips.
1:09:19
SPEAKER_04: 40,000 pounds of sand.
1:09:24
SPEAKER_04: You see, when they're building the when they're building the the uh the centers, the data centers, they need a lot of sand.
1:09:34
SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_04: And uh on top of that, the the chips actually were uh well they were at one time made out of sand, right?
1:09:46
SPEAKER_04: But uh forty thousand dollars, forty thousand pounds worth of sand, not as lucrative as the chips.
1:09:59
SPEAKER_08: Imagine open the back of that chuck.
1:10:01
SPEAKER_08: Come on, Jerry.
1:10:02
unknown: Freaking ratchet.
1:10:04
SPEAKER_08: Sand's comparing out a Lloyd.
1:10:06
SPEAKER_04: They dumped the sand, vanished into the night forever, known as the guys who risked prison for the world's most expensive sandbox.
1:10:15
SPEAKER_04: And um, that is a wrap on this week's Red Foreman Awards.
1:10:19
SPEAKER_04: Five golden Foremans, five people who have looked at a simple decision and said, Hey, hold my beer and my dignity.
1:10:27
SPEAKER_04: From sandwich slinging influencers to Pokemon obsessed grandpas and AI chip sand thieves, once again we prove common sense is the rarest resource on earth.
1:10:41
SPEAKER_04: That's the Red Foreman Awards tonight on the Alpha Men podcast.
1:10:45
SPEAKER_08: Don't think about that saying.
1:11:00
SPEAKER_04: One last shot.
1:11:02
SPEAKER_04: You still got one in the chamber.
1:11:05
SPEAKER_04: And uh one clean, unfiltered round before we walk out of here tonight.
1:11:10
SPEAKER_04: What's the one thing you're aiming at while walking out the door, John?
1:11:13
SPEAKER_04: The one thing from the show that made you think, made you laugh, made you crazy, made you proud, made you scared.
1:11:19
SPEAKER_04: Your last shot tonight.
1:11:23
SPEAKER_08: I'm still thinking about that, Sand.
1:11:25
SPEAKER_08: Um, I just I can see those guys open that truck up and going, what the uh what made me mad was Facebook debate with them.
1:11:36
SPEAKER_08: But uh from the show.
1:11:42
SPEAKER_04: You can go with I'm mad at Facebook.
1:11:44
SPEAKER_04: That's fine.
1:11:44
SPEAKER_04: That was from the show, it happened.
1:11:46
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, it's fixed now, but now for my our topics that we you know went through today and all the splanning, all that stuff.
1:11:53
SPEAKER_08: I'm gonna say I'm gonna say the feet the fuel, the gas thing.
1:11:59
SPEAKER_08: Because you know you bought some good points to it.
1:12:01
SPEAKER_08: And I like this band, I like this back to back and forth, even though you talk a lot.
1:12:05
SPEAKER_08: Kind of gets lets me talk a little bit more, try to give it to you.
1:12:08
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so there's the thing is is the with the fuel is there's a ton of misinformation out there.
1:12:15
SPEAKER_04: Ton.
1:12:15
SPEAKER_04: And everybody wants a simple answer to it that is fixed tomorrow.
1:12:20
SPEAKER_04: Yes, I'll be able to do that.
1:12:20
SPEAKER_04: Or or yesterday.
1:12:24
SPEAKER_04: And uh it's not gonna happen that way, unfortunately.
1:12:28
SPEAKER_04: However, you see what's going on in front, you see what's going on in France, you see what's going on in Great Britain right now.
1:12:34
SPEAKER_04: And you know, just this past spring, we launched, we watched that country launch a missile the equivalent distance of what it would take for them to launch a missile and hit London.
1:12:47
SPEAKER_04: Okay, they did have the capability, they did have ballistics, they did have it, they were working towards a nuclear weapon.
1:12:57
SPEAKER_04: On top of that, you have to ask yourself one question: why does North Korea have a nuclear weapon?
1:13:06
SPEAKER_04: Why?
1:13:07
SPEAKER_04: What's that?
1:13:08
SPEAKER_04: Because nobody did because nobody did anything about it, because we allowed them to militarize around that nuclear program and build a wall of missiles and defense around it to the point where it got so dangerous to go in and even think about taking it out that no one wanted to attempt doing it.
1:13:29
SPEAKER_04: Now, every president, all the way back to George Bush, the first, has said, we gotta do something about Iran.
1:13:39
SPEAKER_04: It's only one guy who's had the balls to do it.
1:13:42
SPEAKER_04: Okay, and you know what?
1:13:45
SPEAKER_04: Had we not done that, had we not go in gone on and done that, Iran today would be continuing to militarize around that nuclear product to protect it and grow it and finish it.
1:14:00
SPEAKER_04: And here's the deal.
1:14:01
SPEAKER_04: You see what they're doing in the Strait of Hermuz now.
1:14:05
SPEAKER_04: What do you think they would do with a nuclear weapon?
1:14:09
SPEAKER_04: They could just threaten to use it.
1:14:11
SPEAKER_04: Like, don't go through the strait or we're gonna bomb the crap out of you, you know.
1:14:14
SPEAKER_04: Like so the regime, yeah.
1:14:17
SPEAKER_08: Remember, if they use that once, yes, it's gonna be horrific.
1:14:20
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, we're gonna send 10 more.
1:14:22
SPEAKER_04: Well, but here's the thing you don't understand that the Iranian regime are what they call 12.
1:14:29
SPEAKER_04: Okay, they believe in their doctrine, in their in their every being, that it is their job to summon the end of the world through a fireball and bring among uh bring about uh I'm sorry, to summon the 12th imam and bring about the end of the world through a fireball.
1:14:52
SPEAKER_04: What is a fireball?
1:14:55
SPEAKER_04: A nuclear warhead.
1:14:56
SPEAKER_04: That's why they want it so bad.
1:14:58
SPEAKER_04: They can't have it.
1:15:00
SPEAKER_04: Okay?
1:15:01
SPEAKER_04: And yes, all of this sucks and it's temporary, but it's necessary.
1:15:07
SPEAKER_04: And I think a lot of people who are watching the media and and and just sucking all this stuff in are treating this war like it's Afghanistan or it's Iraq.
1:15:20
SPEAKER_04: Look, we don't have boots on the ground.
1:15:23
SPEAKER_04: We got a bunch of guys on ships doing what they do every day, even if they're not in the Gulf of the, you know, uh, you know, so basically, it's kind of the perfect scenario.
1:15:36
SPEAKER_04: We've figured out how to fight a war without putting boots on the ground, and we've figured out how to do it by strangling them economically and just letting them fall apart.
1:15:49
SPEAKER_04: The prices on the gas are gonna go down, my friends.
1:15:53
SPEAKER_04: That's all there is to it.
1:15:55
SPEAKER_04: So uh it's not the same.
1:15:58
SPEAKER_04: It's not the same as having, and John, you're a veteran, okay?
1:16:04
SPEAKER_04: You know, you know that what we're doing over there right now is not the same as being in Afghanistan or being in Iraq.
1:16:10
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
1:16:11
SPEAKER_04: Not at all, not even close.
1:16:13
SPEAKER_04: So, um, I think the my last shot tonight, um, boy.
1:16:24
SPEAKER_04: My last shot tonight is honestly learning that the support our troops ribbon is owned by the Canadian government, which blows my mind.
1:16:35
SPEAKER_04: Blows my mind.
1:16:36
SPEAKER_04: Blows my mind.
1:16:38
SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah, like anytime you want to use the yellow ribbon for anything, you got to get permission from the Canadian government to do it.
1:16:47
SPEAKER_04: That's um that's weird.
1:16:49
SPEAKER_04: That's weird.
1:16:50
SPEAKER_04: That's the shot.
1:16:51
SPEAKER_04: If uh you still got one in the chamber, leave it in the comments.
1:16:55
SPEAKER_04: That's gonna do it for the Alpha Men podcast this week.
1:16:58
SPEAKER_04: If you like the show, like and subscribe, tell a friend about it.
1:17:01
SPEAKER_04: If you hated it, still like and subscribe, argue with a friend about it.
1:17:05
SPEAKER_04: We'll see you next Tuesday night at 8.
1:17:07
SPEAKER_04: And in the immortal words of the Beverly Hillbillies, y'all come back now, you hear?
1:17:12
SPEAKER_08: Good night, all.
1:17:17
SPEAKER_00: All right, Alpha Pat.
1:17:18
SPEAKER_00: That's all the damage we're legally allowed to do tonight.
1:17:21
SPEAKER_00: If you're offended, confused, clutching your pearls, or googling, is it normal to agree with idiots?
1:17:27
SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
1:17:28
SPEAKER_00: Mission accomplished.
1:17:29
SPEAKER_00: This has been the Alpha Ven Podcast, where opinions are loud, thanks are optional, and HR would have tackled this before the intro music even finished.
1:17:37
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for hanging out, cracking a beer for free, and pretending you were something while we aggressively were absolutely nothing.
1:17:45
SPEAKER_00: Smash like, subscribe, share it with best friends that get kicked out of every bit.
1:17:50
SPEAKER_00: And remember, if common sense were common, half this country would be unemployed.
1:17:54
SPEAKER_00: If this deal was common sense, now we've got to go with point or wise while we said that.
1:17:59
SPEAKER_00: Square what's for the skill and we don't account like real bad.
1:18:03
SPEAKER_00: Till next time, stay idiots, same chaos, zero filters, zero policies, and absolutely no response.