Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 213 - Managing your state

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 213 - Managing your state · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody. Good morning.
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  From the chicken coop Little secret about my kids.
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  There's a statement that I use that they can't stand and that
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  is you need to manage your state.
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  My daughter used to hate that as a child and my son is no more
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  fond of it now. And obviously it has a lot to do
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  with being able to manage your emotions in a moment when you
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  don't want to, and it's very hard whether you're.
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  Seven, seventeen 47107. It's hard to manage your state
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  when you are emotionally triggered by things, and it gets
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  trickier sometimes the more emotionally tied you are to the
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  subject, the situation, the person.
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  Put it this way, there's nothing easy about managing your state
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  now. Any of you who are regular
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  listeners understand bus content stuff.
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  Talking about who's driving your bus is the simplest, easiest,
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  quickest way to be able to do it.
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  Because when you figure out what Zach's actually going on, then
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  you can figure out if you want to manage your state in a
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  particular way or not. And sometimes, honestly, the
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  best way that you can manage your state is to just shut your
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  mouth. It's just not talking, it's just
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  standing there and saying I'm not going to add 1 bit of energy
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  to this. It's taking a very non reactive,
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  non committal approach by just saying I will not give.
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  My energy to this and you pull back and you stay silent because
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  you know you've got a lot of energy to it.
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  And if you pull that plug, even just a teeny weeny bit, it's
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  going to explode out. Like, you know, when I was a kid
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  they used to have this trick thing with snakes and a can and
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  you pop the can lid and all the snakes would come popping out
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  like that. jack-in-the-box. I never liked that toy.
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  It always used to scare the heck out of me.
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  But in any event, it's like that.
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  And if you uncork it, it unleashes it all at once.
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  Now some people will say and argue the point.
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  That you're better off not holding in your emotions, but
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  choosing not to engage with someone who's not going to
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  listen anyway is not withholding your emotions.
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  It's being smart. Withholding your emotions is
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  denying that they're there. When you go off afterwards, you
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  can write about it, talk to someone else about it, You can
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  manage your emotions. But if I am mad at water for
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  being wet, and I decide I'm going to just share with water
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  how much it pisses me off that it's wet.
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  No matter what I do, I freeze you.
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  You still get wet. When I take you out of the
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  faucet, you're wet and I just don't like the fact that you're
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  wet. Am I going to get anywhere
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  arguing with water about being wet?
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  The answer is no, I'm not. I'm not even going to get close
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  to getting anywhere with it. It's just simply going to piss
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  me off even more. So the point is.
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  If you know you are talking to someone who is impossible, not
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  someone who's going to listen, not someone who's going to give
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  you the respect and the time of day to actually engage with you
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  and hear what you have to say, then there's no point in it.
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  There's just no point in it. I think what's so incredibly.
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  Irritating about the whole thing for most of us is that we just
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  want to be heard. Everybody wants to be heard.
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  Everybody wants to have their whatever they're saying to be
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  important and be heard. Unfortunately, some people can't
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  that even though their ears we, we know the doctors say, oh,
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  they can hear you, they don't listen, they don't care to
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  listen, They don't want to listen.
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  So what's important is understand who you're talking
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  to. Don't get mad at water for being
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  wet. Don't go in and have
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  conversations with someone who is just essentially going to
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  just turn this around. Make it about you, push your
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  buttons and do all that. Sometimes though, it is like you
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  have to hit that release valve. Doing it with that person is not
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  the way to go. Absolutely not the way to go.
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  What you need to do is go back and write it all out.
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  I mean, for me, you can do it in multiple ways.
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  You can talk about it with other people, but sometimes.
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  You don't want other people's opinions.
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  You just want to say things that you can't say out loud.
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  Say it on paper or a. A really good thing too is to
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  just go record something. Record yourself talking about
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  it. Record yourself sitting there
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  and going This is a note to blank.
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  I want you to know how much I dislike this, this, this, this,
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  this, this, and this. Say the things that you need to
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  say. Get it all out of your head.
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  Get it out of your body. Get it out of your system.
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  Be as angry as you need to get the get it out and verbalize it.
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  For some people, that works better than anything.
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  If you need to write it, you write it.
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  You don't have to reread it, you don't have to listen to it.
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  You just need to get it out so you feel like it's been heard by
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  the universe, by God, by something, and then you can move
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  on. But whatever you do, don't get
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  mad at water for being wet. It is who it is.
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  All right, my friends. I hope you have a blessed day
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  and I hope this helps you and I will see you all tomorrow.
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  Bye.