Latest / Real STRength with Sarah Draper / Values Become your Foundation in both Family Finances and Leadership | #10

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Values Become your Foundation in both Family Finances and Leadership | #10 · Real STRength with Sarah Draper

• speaker-0: If you really say you love someone, it doesn't matter how affluent you are, whether you have ten dollars or ten trillion dollars, there's a minimum financial planning you owe to someone and at the very least yourself. Courage comes before confidence and and willing to to risk as you grow and you mature as a business owner, as a professional, as a human being, you realize that everybody is speaker-1: Right. Love it. speaker-0: Living their own journeys. speaker-1: Welcome to the Future Walk Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Drapert. Each week on the podcast, I explore tools to help you lead your best now and into the future, and I talk with top leaders to see how they stay focused when life gets cluttered. It's time to stop reacting to your life and start leading it. Welcome to Future Walk. Welcome to the Future Walk Podcast. I'm Sarah Draper, and I'm so glad you're here. Today I'm joined by LK Ribach. LK is the founder of Ribach Wealth, a Toronto-based holistic family advisory firm specializing in intergenerational wealth transfer, estate planning, and philanthropy. She's also a lawyer and author of Get Your House in Order, Clean Up Your Financial Mess Before It Crumbles, a sought-after speaker on wealth management and financial clarity, and she leads her own business. What drew me to her work? Is her willingness to tackle the uncomfortable truths that most people want to avoid, these blind spots and financial planning and the cultural contradictions between what families say they value and what they actually do with their money. And then that tension that results when those things kind of stay hidden. LK's message about getting your house in order isn't just about money, it's about aligning with values and what matters and then creating systems that work. And that's exactly what the Future Walk is designed to do. Create that space to see what you're missing, align your actions to your values, and build something you're proud of. And I want to bring LK on today because of her work on financial clarity. It mirrors what I teach about leadership clarity, that you can't build something sustainable on top of contradictions. And financial well-being is a huge part of overall well-being. So LK, welcome to the show. speaker-0: Sarah. Thank you for having me. It's great to be here. speaker-1: I'm so glad you're here. So glad you're here. So just give a little introduction, but I would love for you to share with us what is most important to you in your world, in your life, what's going on with you and and your view of financial planning and aligning. speaker-0: Let me let me give you a bit of a what I call the scenic route. I'm a reformed lawyer, studied law a bajillion years ago, worked at a firm, ⁓ was on the like the normal lawyer's track, then detoured, I I I wasn't feeling that I was making an impact in anyone's life. And I mean the transactions were phenomenal. The people I worked with were super brilliant and but there was something missing. So then I moved to a bank and I realized there's there's something I was the bridge between clients and advisors, making sure that their financial advice was compliant and so on. And it clicked there that people made financial decisions in silos because it sounded great, because of the rate of return, because it's ⁓ the greatest, newest, brightest, shiniest thing. And in for the most part the advice was compliant. I did get some. wacko cases that were hard. ⁓ but I realized that people were running in the like the hamster wheel and trying to just accumulate, accumulate, accumulate it. And part when communications broke down between the advisor and the client, it was usually because that missing extra question of what are you trying to do with this? Why are you doing this? As opposed to me telling you, Sarah, you should do this, you should do that. No, no, I need to draw out of you what's important to you. Why are you doing this? What's the purpose of all these hours of work? And then what do you want to achieve? And then we reverse engineer the whole thing. But there's so much jargon, there's so many options. There's confusion in the market. There's very little time. People are so busy. You're bombarded with information 24 7. Like even when you're sleeping, something's measuring. There's so much going on that people either freeze or say yes to a bunch of things and then they end up with a bunch of really good things, but nothing that connects. And unfortunately Nobody teaches you real financial literacy. Nobody talks about money. For some reason, people prefer talking about, I don't know, death than money. And and and that's a problem because money is a very normal thing. Some people have more, some people have less. But you cannot, you should not follow the advice, the same advice that is being implemented with your friend is not necessarily something that will. completely entirely and a hundred percent apply to your to your situation, right? So ⁓ my my mission was to cut the jargon, normalize the money conversation, and really customize plans according to people's family dynamics, family values, et cetera, et cetera. But that was around two thousand, you know, I started the firm in tw two thousand and 12 and a few years later, they call it 2017, people would ask me, What do you do? And the first answer was like, Well, we do insurance, but we do a whole lot more. But that was a terrible answer. That was not an answer. So I worked with a brand specialist and through the whole exercise it was it was very interesting because I used to have like a visceral reaction when people didn't listen to my advice. And through that branding exercise, it came plenty obvious that it was the outcome of when I was little, my mom thought that my dad had it, my dad thought that my mom had it. Nobody had it. My dad died. And we had assets, but they started disappearing, right? Because they have to have sold one house, sell the other house. And we went through financial stress and just pure stress that. I mean, obviously they did what they could with what they had at the time. They weren't taught either, right? They had to my like my mama had to learn as she went. But from this side of the fence, I say if you're if you really say you love someone, it doesn't matter how affluent you are, whether you have ten dollars or ten trillion dollars, there's a minimum financial planning you owe to someone, and at the very least yourself. Everybody has a legacy. It can be messy or it can be organized. Your choice. Then I said, okay, so don't take it personal. Maybe they're not ready for this. Maybe they've never been taught. Maybe they're afraid or ashamed to accept that they don't know what they're talking about. So I took a step back and I said, okay, it's going to be a holistic family advisory. We don't take a bajillion clients every month, right? We we we s we really start and sit down with them and you know, we sign confidentiality agreements and it's none of anyone's business to know what our clients have or don't have. But we really need to open up and talk about what's important to you. Why are you working all these hours? Tell me about your kids. Do they know that how you built your business or do they know your career path? If they don't know it, how are they going to appreciate it if you've never told them that? Right? That's a you know the thirst with the expression short sleeves to short sleeves and in three generations. I I'm pretty convinced that it's because people don't talk about money. And there are a lot of assumptions and there's a lot of shame. And it's fine not to know, but now that we're talking, now you know. And if you know that you don't know, that's fine. But what are we gonna do about it? And we're not here to change family dynamics, but I always invite the couple, the family, to have the conversation at different levels. Obviously, you don't talk to an 18 year old the way you talk to a two year old, but healthy financial habits are instilled early, and then it's a lot easier. Families stick together. And when we do the ⁓ values analysis with our families, I I would say they're always different, but something that is pretty pretty consistent is ⁓ harmony in the family. I want my kids to ⁓ talk to each other once I'm gone, right? And I can guarantee that if you don't talk to them about money and your legacy plans and what you have in your head, that harmony might not work out. Most likely won't work out. Because mm maybe you thought that your son wants the business and your daughter wants the jewelry. But you forgot to talk about the red couch with the cigarette mark that grandma left to you know, whatever. Right. And here come the battles. And and it's sad, but it it's optional. Now I again I I don't get angry and when I understand it better. But you know, as as you're and as you grow and you mature as a business owner, as a professional, as a human being, you realize that everybody is living their own journey. So that that's completely r respected and so on. We work with people who are ready to go. speaker-1: Wow. Thank you. That hit on so many levels. I jotted a bunch of things down that I would love to go back to because there is so much connection, I I think, between how we we view things. mine from a leadership lens and yours is a huge part of you are a leader, so you see it that way, but even like way, way down, all the way back to your your sort of origin of w why you think of think about finances and holistic planning and involving the whole family, going back to your upbringing and and the experiences you had there. So thank you for for all of that. normalizing this conversation, right? I I'd love to dig into this a little bit because in my own life, ⁓ my husband and I strive to do this very same thing because I think maybe generationally we didn't have either of as much in our background, right? And so We strive to do the same thing. I'm kind of going through ⁓ a ⁓ bunch of things with my mom, my dad has passed and working through working through those things that normalizing this conversation is a really important part of it. Would you would you be willing to share some of the tools or techniques or tips you have for people who haven't been in an environment where this is talked about? ⁓ you could probably apply the same thing too. health discussions or things like that. There are certain things for some reason we don't talk about in whatever environment we're in, in whatever family life we're in. But what are some of the ways you you get people to share ⁓ so you can even start to have that conversation, right? To build toward that holistic, to build toward that values alignment. speaker-0: Well, I mean, obviously we we need hard numbers. We need to know what they have. You know, let's see how many toys we have to see what game we can play. So they they send that information ahead of time and then I mean that's the boring part, you know what how much you paid in taxes, you know what how much you have in your investment accounts, you know how much you have like that's easy. But when you go in and talk to people, I need I need to know that the couple first of all I I I want speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: The couple in the meeting because I start reading body language. Like if somebody starts sinking or going back or the body language, there's a lot of reading going on there, right? And we we make it a human. It's a conversation not different from what we're doing right now. It's what are you proud of? Mm-hmm. And I was like, I thought this was a financial meeting. What are you proud of? speaker-1: Right. Yeah. What? speaker-0: What are you scared of? What make keeps you up at night? We don't ask about numbers. It's never, ever, ever, ever about money. And then you you can tell, you know, that there are misunderstandings, or there's lack of communication, or there are assumptions, or you know, they come from very different backgrounds, right? You know, not only interracial, interreligion, inter-inter-blah, like the world is a melting pot, right? And I have couples that agree on A, B, C, they're a little bit off on D and completely off on E. So we look for, okay, let's let's talk about D and E. Let's figure out how to make D and E happen, right? ⁓ but we also have people that the only thing they have in common is their marriage certificate. And they're completely off. They're complete one's a super saver and the other one's a super spender. And they get along fine, but there's no clarity. And then every now and then that brings up friction. And the people we we work with, they know they can afford it, but they they they don't have the certainty that they'll never outrun their savings. And and there are people that have a lot of money, but they there's still that fear. And independence is financial or non existent. And we we talk about those things and and and every conversation is different, right? But you have you have to be proud of something. And that's the first question. Like, what are you proud of? You know, your your kids, your enterprise, your I don't know, the way you grow your plants or I ⁓ something has to make you happy. There has to be a purpose because then you can apply that purpose to the plan that reflects you, as opposed to some model system that it's three plus two plus seven, you know, equals twelve, and then off you go divide it by twelve. You need to save eighteen percent of your ⁓ that that doesn't work because then that doesn't excite people and then they don't follow the plan. Right. speaker-1: Right. Right. So it sounds like it's like can first creating that shared vision, like figuring out what that is. I mean, just thinking as a as a coach, how I friend work with people, like that's where we begin. And it's still process, but it it's not a one conversation thing, but getting aligned on what are we working for, towards, and then the process stuff can be worked in after that. But first you gotta know what you're working towards. And you gotta agree on that. speaker-0: Or agree to disagree. And then you separately, right? I can't force people into something. Right. But if you if you discover that there are misalignments, okay, let's talk about them. So that's why I'm a big supporter and proponent of cohabitation agreements and prenups and all these things, because you're young enough that you probably own nothing. So you should be able to talk about these things when you love each other and you've got googly eyes and all these things. speaker-1: Claro. speaker-0: You can change those agreements later on, right? Once the kids arrive, who's gonna look after the kids? Who's gonna bring in the money? Or are we both gonna work? How are we gonna pay for this? Those agreements can be changed, but it's better to have something in place because at least that started the conversation than having to start the conversation when the lawyers are involved. There are a bunch of assets in the middle, and everybody wants to murder each other, and that's not nice. We don't want that. speaker-1: No, no, we definitely don't want that. Figuring it out at the beginning. how do you kind of taking a a you know, a a little bit step ⁓ into your own life, ⁓ just maybe starting here as a leader? You okay, so okay, has she's a lawyer, she's an author, she speaks four languages, she's raised kids, she's runs a business with multiple employees and has done it all successfully, right? So Let's let's look at the leadership side. Like how do you apply some of these same principles and mindsets into your own leadership with your business? speaker-0: I would absolutely lie to you if I gave you a concrete one answer only. Yeah, it's like it's really a little bit of ⁓ I feel like I'm I'm in the bumper cars. You know that you go left and the car goes right and they go right and goes goes left. So there there's a little bit of chaos and and creation. I rely. Well, when people tell you that they've never made a mistake, that's where they lose me. Right. Right? We all make mistakes. speaker-1: Thank you. speaker-0: We try and it's fine and you know s somebody taught me that a mistake is literally a missed take. You can do it again, right? speaker-1: That's great. A miss take. I love it. Yeah. speaker-0: Try it again and try it again and and there are things that you know are there for a season and then they might end. And always treat everyone with respect. And it's I am the first one to admit I have an incredible amount of energy and it's really, really hard to keep up with like I I cannot I learnt relatively early on that I cannot expect people to keep up with my schedule or my energy. Therefore, I need a team. I can't just have a person because I'm going to drive that person into some sort of addiction. So we don't want that. We don't want that. So I the you know, I have a team and and I like I love working with people who who challenge my ideas, who say no. Who who said, Did you think that one through? And I kinda sort of did, but now that you s you make me think about it, you know, so humble enough to know that I don't have all the answers. And that's brought also brought into the world of services that we bring to clients. Well, I don't do the plants all on my own. And I don't this is not a trench coat approach, right? I got this, I got that. No, I have a team and we have different experts that look at different sides of your thing. And Even if we're all looking at the same thing, if that day one's hormonal, the other one's underslept, and the other one's crabby, we're all gonna look at the same thing from a different lens. And the three views are gonna bring up a better result for the client. And what I want is for the client not to feel alone, and the client I mean the family, especially the children, ⁓ to feel that they're not alone. Because they're at the top it's lonely like ⁓ as a leader and as a leader as a business owner or right as a as a family member there's I mean there are s things you can share and there are things that you can't, right? And because they're they're either ideas that are not fully baked or you had a really bad day and you're incredibly vulnerable or weak or raw or so just keeping it human I think has helped me I don't know. Bleed if you want? speaker-1: Yeah. It's great. Yeah. I mean, it takes an incredible amount of confidence as a leader, earned confidence. And I want to get to that piece to be able to show that, hey, w I don't have everything together. I don't we're figuring this out. We're a team. That's why I've brought these diverse people together for different ideas. But even on our best days, we still aren't aligned. So then when something is different in another human who's part of that team, right? We The rest of us can adjust and adapt. So it takes an incredible amount of confidence and vision for a leader to recognize that because ⁓ sometimes it can feel like you're all on your own. You gotta look like you have it all together. And and and I've seen again and again and again, like that that kind of makes you blind to challenges. And so we get these blind spots or maybe even to opportunities when trying to figure it out on your own. So your confidence. as a leader, where did that come from? Like, is that just who you are? Or is that something you've had to work on and build ⁓ your confidence to be able to rely on these other people and see them for who they are and let them see you for who you are. speaker-0: Well it's it's a very good question and it's not a straightforward answer. So I don't know if it's confidence or an and and I am very confident. Like I I I know what I know what I do. I know that what we do changes lives and delivers next generations and keeps families together. So I'm what we do is really really cool. I also I'm a big believer on coaching and in coaching. Yeah. ⁓ because you don't have all the answers. speaker-1: Okay. speaker-0: So I think more than I think courage comes out before confidence and and willing to to risk the ⁓ as a business owner you risk everything all the time. Now, you know, as time goes by, you would expect that your risks get a little less psychopathic. But but yeah, there are days that you really question your speaker-1: Love it. speaker-0: what the heck was I thinking? But then the next day you realize that you just changed someone's life and you love it and you do it again. So it's I think it's courage and humility to know that you don't know everything. Mm-hmm. Nor do I want to know everything. Like I wanna have the team that more like anything you can Google it should not be in my memory. but It's it's a combination of courage, grit, ⁓ determination with a pinch of stubbornness. And another pinch of craziness. I think that's how you do it. I it because a confidence can also be misinterpreted and but with cockiness. speaker-1: Good. speaker-0: And somebody said s the other day something very f like she had me a stitch. She says, There's nothing as ⁓ what was it? There's nothing as admirable as the confidence of the mediocre man. You know, when when people say something like because this is the end it might be. It might not be. Who knows? Might be today, but it might change tomorrow. So It's I think that's that's how I approach it. Everything changes, not everything is, you know, the way you see it. Maybe that day you were underslept or something and you missed a detail. But you have to accept and and we also tell clients, you know, we make w we own mistakes. It's how you deal with them. And we have each other's back. So when you have the right team and that's an ongoing exercise in building and you know, trimming and building and trimming and building and trimming. ⁓ it then you have the confidence to go out to the world. But but it's you don't start with confidence. I think it's courage and the other things I said that that turn into confidence. speaker-1: I love it. Yeah. I mean you courage. Courage comes before confidence. That's great. Humility, grit, determination. Then even then to what you said before about a miss take and being able to pull those things together. So it it it sounds like you run you you run your business. That sounds very formulaic. Like you lead, you create the team environment that You kinda asking your families to do and guiding your families through creating that same level of openness with those conversations, that same alignment or recognition when there isn't alignment and agree to disagree where there's not, like you approach these very similarly. Yeah. speaker-0: I it and there I use analogies all the time. We can all go to the gym. What are the options? You go to the gym, you find a bench, you pull your phone, you check Instagram, and then you leave the gym because you have to go to work. Did you go to the gym? Yes, you or you print ⁓ your your buddies workout, but you like in my case, I am an impressive five foot six speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ speaker-0: one twenty five pound thing and I just happen to have printed my buddy who's ⁓ you know a crossfitter can do the three thousand burpees and two thousand pull ups while he's lifting, you know, two hundred pounds. Right. Yeah. There's a good chance that I'm gonna hurt myself or I'm not gonna do it. More the latter. If you have common sense. Or speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: You start slowly and you build your own plan and you talk to someone who knows what they're doing and you say, Listen, I would like to don't assume I want to be a bodybuilder. That's a that's a no for me. Or that I'm competing in some bodybuilding thing. I want to be fit. I want to exercise. It's good for my health. It's good for like physical health, mental health. ⁓ how do we do this? Well, what do we do? Where do we start? And then and you adapt it to yourself. But you have to own it. You have to be your own leader because otherwise people will be guessing what you want and a and like a a personal trainer will come and say, Well, we should today we do legs and tomorrow do but what if that day your knee hurts? If you don't say it, how does that work? speaker-1: Yeah. Right. And then yeah, same with again your leadership, your financial planning. I think so much of life needs to be that way, but it's it's so often not because we see someone who has been successful, whatever that means to us, successful in whatever sphere, and we want to model. Well it's great to have inspiration. It's great to be able to pull wisdom from people, but someone Last year I heard this saying that all career advice is autobiographical. And I think that can apply to pretty much anything else. You trying to adopt your super supercharged friends CrossFit workout, right? Is a is a great analogy to that. Figuring out what works for you, having an expert helping to guide you, but figuring out what works for you in whatever domain. speaker-0: You know, one of my coaches early, early, early on said very wisely, your eyes see and your ears hear only what your brain is looking for. speaker-1: Ooh, I'm writing that down too. Your eyes see and your ears hear only what your brain is looking for. speaker-0: Yeah. And and and if you think about it, when you start seeing, you know, I don't know, red cars and you're thinking of red cars, everybody has a red car all of sudden. So if you're not ready to plan, if you're not ready to lead, if you're not ready to be coached, you need to be aware of it and own it. Now if you're going to if you say you're ready, well let's walk the talk. Let's go. If you're ready, I'm ready. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And it's gonna be a very fun ride because you're gonna discover things about yourself that you didn't know. You're gonna have to have you know, have conversations with your children. We're gonna have to have and ⁓ I that I'm talking about my my world, right? Your children, your parents. Having I think that having a conversation with the parents has been really tough for for this generation because many are post war children. Mm-hmm. And That conversation's tough, but if you don't have it, you're not helping anyone. So we help facilitate those conversations and it's easier when somebody else says it than when you know you go to your mom, like, Okay, mom, ⁓ when you die, what are we gonna do here? It's right. Nobody wants to talk about that. But speaker-1: No. Or what even do we have? Long before what are we gonna do with all this? But w what is there? Where is it? How do we what's what what are your what do you want to happen? speaker-0: And and now it's even crazier. I I I'm I wouldn't say I'm perfect talking to my kids about money, but you know, we talk about money and they know about mortgages and they know about this and that and like the office basic and you know, accounts and this and that. And the other day I said, ⁓ I have to go to the safe. And the three looked at me, they go, What? That's right. How would you know that under a bank there was a box with a funky key that needs a second key that has my grandmother's Jewels. speaker-1: ⁓ my goodness. speaker-0: Because nowadays, first of all, who goes to the bank and B speaker-1: Right. Uh-huh. speaker-0: And if you don't put that in your will or might put a I don't know, post it somewhere that says there's a safe somewhere, how would people know? So many things go missing. And those are all the conversations that you miss. But not because I didn't want to tell them. It's like I didn't even think about it. speaker-1: Think about it, right? Because that was always just something you didn't. It just lived through that same exact scenario. And my brother got in the safety deposit box last week finally, because I found this random key in the house when I was cleaning it up. So yes, like that's a really great example of this much bigger conversation that generationally, excuse me, generationally is has been difficult for like my parents in that generation to have because it wasn't ⁓ normal, right? It was. probably considered impolite to talk about money. There were certain things you didn't talk about. And so plus a lot of these people were just trying to make a life happen. And and so not only trying to not not necessarily even trying to keep it in, but just like so busy making life happen that it's really a tool versus something ⁓ that they think about passing along that knowledge to that to their speaker-0: Yeah. And then there's a point where the elder or I would I would let's let's call them grandma grandpa. They start realizing that their cognitive behavior is starting to decline. Yeah. So then they bite it. So then they get stubborn and then they don't want to talk about it. And then it gets tough. And So so my mission and why I'm so active in social media and why I want the message to go out is you're not going to the grave, to the ground, to the lake or wherever you want to be put in, or you're not gonna like evaporate with your stuff. What are we gonna do with this? Like clean up your room, clean your like get your house in order. And whoever tells me that the house is in order at a hundred percent, I would challenge them because Everything changes every single day. So and supposed speaker-1: Right, right. Yeah, it's it's a habit, exactly. Like everything else we you know, we think about that is important in life. It's a habit to keep up with those things. ⁓ and it's like it starts with awareness, conversation, becoming comfortable with thinking about it and then talking about it, but building that habit in. I I heard not too long ago ⁓ someone told me about Swedish death cleaning. It's when I started the process of cleaning. out my mom's house. Are you familiar with that? I I can tell you my interpretation of it. I speaker-0: Yeah, and I'm also ⁓ familiar with the Marie Kondo art of loving or ⁓ whatever the the cleaning up thing. I actually was once quoted in in a newspaper as a financial Marie Kondo on speaker-1: ⁓ look at that. ⁓ yeah, get your house in order, literally. speaker-0: Code for financial janitor. But it's never there. speaker-1: ⁓ that's that's a great custodian maybe. Like you're you're t you've got cus you know, like a responsibility for things. speaker-0: Keep it real. Trim. ⁓ you know, spring clean. Get ri like make sure that you need what you have, you have what you need and ideally understand what you have. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Like why have extra? What you know, some people have insurance policies that they forgot about and they they technically don't need. Do they want to keep them? Should they ⁓ I say never ever cancel a policy because you can do wonderful things with a policy, even if you don't need it, there are strategies behind them, right? But don't don't just toss because it you know, like could have been grand misdenture that you tossed. So don't don't do that. But Let's put everything together and let's say, okay, we're put everything in nice little cubby holes and what really is not needed, okay, let's find a good home for that. speaker-1: Yeah, right. Great. ⁓ thank you. I would love to kind of just get to you and how you do, you know, you you do a lot. You you love to be busy. I I feel like there's probably a lot of joy and fun in your work and your life that you bring to this because it's it's something you're really passionate about. But that's you have a high level of output. You you get a lot done, you really impact broadly. How do you take care of yourself? as well. Like what do you do to make sure you stay whole that you can continue to give and ⁓ produce in the in the way you do? What what's important to you and how do you keep that that a priority and have it in your own life beyond the CrossFit workout at the gym that speaker-0: do CrossFit anymore because it's really far. But ⁓ for sure for sure exercise. I I if I don't work out, I go cuckoo luo. ⁓ and I love and I go through phases. Like right now I'm heavy into swimming. I I used to be a swimmer, but then swimming pools in Canada were very cold. I'm like ⁓ no. But I found out that the ⁓ University of Toronto's athletic center has a proper pool and it's warm. So I've been proper was like fifty meters Olympic pool, like like real thing and it's not the one that you're hanging off the ladder like trying to get warm and it's not working and it looks I I hate the cold. I suffer. I truly suffer cold. speaker-1: Being a Canadian, you suffer in the cold. I mean I'm a Michiganer and I don't love it either. Well speaker-0: To me, the snow and the cold is something you go, you visit, and you get out of there. But anyway, here we are, long story short. So exercise for sure. coaches for sure. ⁓ you have to let it out. I I finally found a therapist that pushes back. She's great. I my friends, for sure, my friends. We have ⁓ a yearly trip. And this one's coming up and I cannot wait. ⁓ because we're all turning up. Mm-hmm. And we're traveling and we're going far, far, far. So it's super exciting. ⁓ so that'll be fun. and the other thing I do that truth be told, I don't do enough is I go hard, hard, hard, hard, hard. And then every three months or so. I kinda like crash. And then I disappear for three, four days. And like I literally go to the airport with a string bag, a swimsuit, a book, and disappear for three, four days. Usually like the cancun side of things because it's easy for me. I know where to go, I wanna know what to eat, do I know who to talk to, I know how it works. but anywhere, disappear. See ya later, Gator. Travel for me is is is is is my thing. I'd rather travel than have things. ⁓ so travel is my and and even being on a plane is is therapeutic because then nobody's nobody's attacking you. And it's not that people are attacking you, people need your input. You you're running a business, you have a family, you you you have kids, you're responsible for but every now and then it's kinda like the centering. ⁓ do I get it perfect now? ⁓ does my therapist yell at me? Yes. am I trying? Yes. But I think ⁓ I've gotten much better and now it's not every three months that I wait to I crash. I do have my like Saturdays, I do not work, period. ⁓ not because I don't have work, but you know we can stop for a day, it's fine. and then intentionally booking time off. Which is good. And the pool, when you're swimming, you can't really do anything. You can't check emails on in the pool. speaker-1: No. No, it's almost meditative in a way and physical. speaker-0: I I strongly advise against w checking your emails in the pool while you're swimming elabs. speaker-1: Love that you hit every I I think of different domains of taking care of yourself, right? You've got your physical estate stuff, your traits, that's your mind. You've got your you've got your therapy, you've got what you do to take care of yourself, your coaches, and then the relay, your friendships. And then you build it into cycles where weekly you have a day of rest. Rest is critical to To grow to be able to think creatively, to see problems differently, right? You're faced with a lot of problems in your work that you need to think differently about. And rest gives you that chance to do that. And then building this into your cycle to completely disconnect. Every few months, you get your chance to, I don't know if it's a reset. What would you say is a recovery reset? Or is it just a chance to just be and not worry about whatever happened? speaker-0: It's ⁓ you know the first trip we took, well it was the outcome of COVID Zoom meeting thing. And arguably there was one glass of wine and then followed by another one and then another one, and then the next day we're like, did we actually book a non-refundable trip to Iceland? I think we did wow. So we got to Iceland and it was the first time we had left the kids behind, right? And we flew in from all like one from Belgium speaker-1: Ooh. speaker-0: New York, Mexico, Mitrano. Two hours in, we're like, whack it, yay. It's all good. But you know, the other thing that this other coach said that is very, very true, ⁓ I have a very trusted sense of humor and and I don't know, I'm just I I have fun with myself, I guess. ⁓ he said when everybody starts sounding stupid, there's a good chance it's time for you to take time off. speaker-1: That's really speaker-0: 'Cause when you're you're fighting everyone and then you're like, Why are you doing like why are you not acting fast? Well you're burnt out. So go to your room and think about your things. Think about what you just did. Yeah. And and he and it's true. So you have to reset. Do I do it religiously? Ish ish. But the other thing too is I've I've ⁓ and that's what I'm working on is ⁓ trying to be kinder to myself and not seek perfect Saturdays, perfect weeks, perfect 'Cause every time I try it goes sideways. So we're rolling with the punches and acknowledge that you don't have everything and that some things will be fine here, some things will be but not there. And it's it's not that easy. It's easier said than done, but I'm working on it. speaker-1: I love it. And it's like really, I mean, this is a future walk podcast, and that's what the future walk gives you is this chance to step away, step forward and think about the future while you're creating it, but just disconnect from everything that's going on. You know, when I and when I have people do future walks, it's about leaving your phone behind, just walking in nature outside. It's that physical you're just talking about, like you're. Your coach said, Hey, when everyone else starts to sound ridiculous, then you need to take a break kind of thing. Like, hey, go take a if you've noticed that that's the trigger. It's go take a future walk and just think forward. And it's amazing what type of clarity you can get just by removing yourself and then thinking forward as you're physically moving, moving through space and time. speaker-0: Yeah. And and the other thing is that nobody's gonna do it for you. If you don't do it, like and and and you don't own it, well it's not gonna work. And now when you said ⁓ you know, walk in nature. I've tried that. That doesn't work for me. speaker-1: Okay, good. I mean good to know, right? What works for you? Swimming. speaker-0: Sure, swimming activity, right? But when I'm really, really, really, really, really like done with everything, ⁓ the beach. I mean to me, walk in nature means walking through a forest, seeing the little bird, the squirrel, like no, I I need beach. I need just the sound of the ocean, and particularly at night. It's it's it's humbling because you know that the the ocean is is is kind of like speaker-1: ⁓ it's speaker-0: At its toughest, right? And then you're listening at the waves, they they just crash differently when it's at night than it when it's during the day, where you can see, you there's a little bit of heat, there's a little thing that'll when and when at night you can't see what's going on and you just see the wave go that they they I know, that that's my that's my thing. 'Cause then you really can't go anywhere. speaker-1: Yeah, that's your thing. Do you ever do walks on the beach or do you like to just sit and watch it? speaker-0: ⁓ no, no, I I can s sit for like twenty minutes. Three minutes. If I fall asleep I'll I'll take it. But it's either swimming and I recently got my ⁓ open open dive, whatever the license. ⁓ yeah. ⁓ yeah. And ⁓ yeah, first swim and hello shark. ⁓ yeah, but but it was good. It was Mr. Sharky was sleeping, but it was good to see. speaker-1: Gosh, when I got one of my certifications I saw giant octopus. Now I haven't dove for decades, but it was like that is an octopus and it's bigger than my head. speaker-0: I've never seen an octopus. speaker-1: was in the Pacific Northwest anyhow. So anytime, right? Being out in nature, moving yourself is a really phenomenal time to disconnect from the things that can weigh you down, steer you in the wrong direction. And so just giving yourself that, creating that, right? You said it's a habit. It's intentional. It's no one's gonna do it for you. They're not gonna force you to do it. You've got to do it for yourself. You can be much better off when you do. speaker-0: You need to want it badly enough or be uncomfortable enough to do it because if it's not broken, people don't fix it, but you need to question it. And it and that goes for life, for finances, for relationships, for everything. speaker-1: ⁓ my gosh. Well, okay, thank you. I've learned so much. I have an entire page of notes here. I mean, your eyes see and ears hear only what your brain is looking for. Talking about courage comes before confidence, miss takes, ⁓ chaos and creation, this values analysis with families and creating some type of harmony, not necessarily agreement, but you know, the agree on some things, agree to disagree on others. ⁓ Just so much wisdom here, so many practical ideas and ways to think about approaching your financial fitness, your financial wellness, just like you need to any other aspect of your life. So where can people find you in your work to learn more about you? ⁓ what what can you share? speaker-0: I mean the easiest thing as I'm always on LinkedIn, so it's my name, E L K E R U B A C H and me. You'll see me there. ⁓ the website is yet again under construction, but ⁓ we'll get there. So it's ⁓ www. dot rubachwealth dot com. and yeah, and I mean the easiest is Linkin ⁓ LinkedIn and or you know, a quick text message. That I'm I'm always findable. It's very easy. They're not this this strange name is not too common. speaker-1: Yeah, that's great. Thank you so much, LK. And I just really appreciate you being here and and what you do, that willingness you have to tackle these tough sometimes these guide people through these uncomfortable truths and these tough conversations that people avoid when they, as you said at the beginning, approach their life in silos or trying to apply to them what worked for someone else, maybe. And and you really create that space where people can have those conversations and learn and grow. And then continue to learn and grow as they go, as they go forward in their financial future. ⁓ and I I know all these things will then extend out into their lives as well as a Ripple effect. So thank you. And and for our listeners, if you enjoyed this conversation, please do share it with someone else who needs to hear this. And remember, this week, step outside, take your future walk or your future swim or your beach stroll and ask yourself, What are my stated values and what are my actual behaviors? And then think, is there a misalignment anywhere there? And what do I need to do if there is to get my house in order? And then as you move through nature, outside, and whatever aspect, see what becomes clear. So I'll see you soon. Enjoy your watch.