Latest / God + Mental Health Podcast / Why Do I Keep Hiding This From God? (The Shame No One Talks About)

Transcript

Why Do I Keep Hiding This From God? (The Shame No One Talks About) · God + Mental Health Podcast

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the God and Mental Health podcast.
• 0:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: My name is Braslan and I am so excited to be back in front of the microphone with you this week.
• 0:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you are new here, welcome.
• 0:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so excited that you have taken the time to listen to this episode.
• 0:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you are listening to this episode audio, make sure you go to my YouTube channel and watch it on video.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am now doing a video podcast.
• 0:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I will leave the link to the episode in the show notes for you so that you can take advantage of seeing the actual episode via video.
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, listen to it.
• 0:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I wanna talk today about shame.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got a message from someone who acts me and I do a deep dive on shame.
• 0:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so this is a shout out to you because I really thought that I had covered shame a lot when I talk about it.
• 0:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I wanna do a refresher episode to talk a little bit about what shame is, especially when it comes to our practical walk with guys spiritually.
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I think that shank can often not be seen as it's not in the Bible, but it is actually in Genesis and in Genesis we experience the first consequence of sin and a lot of times a consequence of sin is the experience of shame and so I'm going to talk about that in this episode.
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm also gonna talk about the power of vulnerability and exposing ourselves to God because I think that is the one of the most powerful tools that we don't often think is important.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: That God actually honors and wants is our exposure to Him, no matter how ugly, disgusting, shameful, sinful, it might look.
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is a powerful thing to expose your sin to the Lord.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, I wanna talk about this in more depth, and I'm gonna kind of name what we're gonna do today.
• 1:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna go over talking about how shame comes up in the garden.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna talk about how it can kind of come up within our relationship with God, but also our relationship with others.
• 1:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna share a personal story with you about how I've been actively experiencing shame in my personal walk with God.
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also gonna talk about what Paul talks about when he says weakness is important.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm gonna end the episode talking about practical tools.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the overall theme of this is experiencing and talking about shame really comes down to us avoiding sharing who we are authentically with God and even with other people.
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: The thesis of this is that we were never meant to hide from God.
• 2:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: We are supposed to be ourselves open with the Lord, but oftentimes one of the consequences of shame is that because we experience sin or we do something.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: When we really have a hard posture that please a Lord, we can often avoid trying to share these things because we want to present ourselves as well in perfect, when all actuality, the Lord wants the opposite.
• 2:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I believe that not exposing these things can be dangerous because it can create dormant sins, it can create even dormant feelings and emotions that we tend to lean on other things for comfort.
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, let's get into talking about this and how it presents itself in the garden.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, I'm going to read from my Bible.
• 2:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, you're going to see me pull up the book, baby, okay?
• 2:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when Adam Eve, we're walking with God in the garden, they were naked.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: We know this because of what the Bible says they did after they send against the Lord.
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, let's go to the Bible.
• 3:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, we are in Genesis 3.
• 3:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to read from the chapter where Adam and Eve ate from the tree.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, this is
• 3:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Genesis 3, we're gonna start at verse 7 right after Adam 8 from the tree.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: At that moment, their eyes were opened and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: So they sold fig leaves together to cover themselves.
• 3:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: When the cool evening breeze were blowing, the man in his wife heard the Lord walking in the garden.
• 3:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: So they hit from the Lord among the trees.
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then the Lord got called to the man where are you?
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: He replied, I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was afraid because I was naked.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who told you were naked?
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: The Lord got asked, have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I command as you not to eat?
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so there's so much in this scripture and this set of scripture that I really wanna talk about, but I really wanna really give you the full aspect of it.
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: The Bible talks about how Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed.
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: meaning they were fully exposed to each other and I think what ended up happening was this exposure after eating from the tree and disobeying God exposed vulnerability.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Which then in turn made vulnerability feel like it was dangerous.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, the key point is that God's first question wasn't condemnation.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's where are you?
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: He pursued Adam.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was pursuing him to say,
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe the Lord is a relational God.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that He made us for His own pleasure.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: He made us there as a scripture.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I can't remember on the top of my head, but it's talked about how God created us for Him, for us to be connected to Him.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so God's actual reaction being only Adam had already done this.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't pursue Adam to condemn him.
• 4:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: He pursued Adam to know what happened.
• 4:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is like the spiritual architecture of shape.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: It can visit us that being seen as a threat.
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when God's posture is always in pursuing us.
• 5:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I heard somebody say recently that God pursued us even from the very beginning of Genesis when he prophesied that Jesus was going to come.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: and how his entire desire was to reconnect us back to him.
• 5:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So he had to create conditions for us to be able to follow so that we can be connected him because he never wanted us to be disconnected from him.
• 5:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so in the scripture, a couple of things I want to pull out is that shame shows up a lot when we do not expose ourselves.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's point number one.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Shame shows up when we do not want to expose ourselves.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: God said to Adam,
• 5:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who told you were naked?
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who told you that you were supposed to be covered up?
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: The first thing that Adam and Eve did was they sold fig leaves together to cover up their bodies, to not expose themselves.
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And how shank happens is we end up covering ourselves up.
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: We mask how we really feel.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: We either suppress,
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: how we really feel or we can even go to the opposite direction and become very extreme in our expression of how we feel because instead of maybe saying this hurt me or I'm angry or I'm upset, we lash out, we project, we get overwhelmed.
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what these underlying reactions can show is
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: underlying feelings that we are probably too embarrassed to share.
• 6:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think about in this aspect of relationships that unknowing shang, we don't always recognize it as shang.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: It can sometimes look like self-protection, deflection, control.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: We may even comfort ourselves with substitutes such as food, scrolling, achievement, numbing rather than the risk of being known.
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know for me, there are a lot of times where I might be very overwhelmed and all I want to do is veg out on my phone.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to do something that's mindless.
• 6:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to do something that doesn't pour into me.
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mostly because of the type of work that I do, it requires a lot of emotional pouring.
• 6:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: and sometimes instead of maybe going for a walk or maybe going to spend time with my family, I just want to do them scroll.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so not to say that this is the answer to shame, but what it does is we may have underlying feelings that we want actually comfort from and we end up going to other things.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: going into the assertive self-protection, when somebody brings a conversation to you, you might find that a wall goes up and you have to defend yourself.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of maybe listening to what the person is actually saying, I'm hurt that you did this.
• 7:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: You look at it as they're attacking me, and so I have no choice but to self-protect myself.
• 7:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that this is helpful in understanding that what you might actually be feeling is the hurt of I hurt somebody, or the disappointment that I did this to them.
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or you may not even let hear what they have to say.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you may think in your mind that their own perception of them is already maybe negative.
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's like it doesn't matter what they say because they did X, Y, and Z, which means you may have underline forgiveness and forgiveness in your heart.
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: You may have an underlying negative perception of a person and all these aspects.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: can be rooted in shame.
• 8:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that shame is actually a consequence of sin.
• 8:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is one of the things that we do to cover ourselves up.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I hope that I'm explaining this that makes it easy to understand.
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this is enough substitute to the real problem.
• 8:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a symptom of not wanting to expose what's underneath.
• 8:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm even ghosted further to say not even knowing that you're not exposing it.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of times people are completely unaware that they're not exposing how they really feel because exposure feels like danger.
• 8:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is the cost of what Adam and Eve did.
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is the opposite.
• 8:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is the thing around not wanting to be seen and show and be vulnerable.
• 8:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna explain this in a more practical way and then I'm gonna get into what Paul actually says about the ways and which of this vulnerability is actually powerful.
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I am on a personal weight loss journey.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I talk about this on my Instagram if you're not following me.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: You should absolutely follow me on at Rosalind Renee ROS and why in REN anyway.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have been on a weight loss journey for, I will literally say about three years.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have my youngest son, he is three and a half, and I have been trying to lose weight since having him.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have gained at this point, maybe around 25 pounds since having him, and I want to lose about 60 pounds.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I have hired a nutritionist.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have been with her now for about a month and a half, and since working with her the first month, I was an A-plus student, baby.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was tracking, I was drinking on my water, I was eating on my protein.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: She would get on the phone with me and she would say, oh my God, you're doing so well.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, cool.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then me and my husband had a really bad argument.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't typically get into it.
• 9:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be honest with you.
• 9:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have a great relationship with my husband, and I'm so grateful to God for that.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when we do have an argument, I can tend to be very emotional and carry those emotions with me for weeks.
• 9:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So not only that happened.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: The following week, I had my dip in my cycle.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're a woman, you understand this.
• 10:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're a man, I'm so sorry, but women have a period of time, right before the time of the month where they call it the Ludio phase.
• 10:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I have been cycle sinking and tracking that.
• 10:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: For a couple of years now, and it has been very helpful to understand that dip in my emotions, where all I wanna do is eat.
• 10:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm super tired.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel pretty.
• 10:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm super negative.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm really irritable.
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is that time right before Shark Week win.
• 10:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just don't feel good.
• 10:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm gonna tell you that I have not tracked my food.
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have not consistently worked out.
• 10:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have not dragged my water.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have been eating cakes and sweets and all kinds of things.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: over the last three weeks.
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I hit a wall a couple of days ago where I was just like, I cannot continue to do this if I want to lose weight because of the way I feel afterwards.
• 10:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, only do I feel like not great physically, but emotionally, I feel so down on myself because I feel like I am not really moving towards my goal.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this becomes the time where I eventually give up.
• 10:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like their mother and half in, I just don't want to do it anymore.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: As I was praying about this, I was talking to a friend about it and when I realized is, I stopped tracking my food.
• 11:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is just a practical thing that people do when they're losing weight is you want to maintain a calorie deficit, you want to track your food.
• 11:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when I realized this, I kind of asked myself, like, why does tracking make me feel so bad about myself?
• 11:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: What is it that goes into my mind of stop tracking?
• 11:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: and what I realized is tracking, actually exposes myself to me.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Tracking is a mechanism and a rhythm that makes me look at my calorie and take my cart and take and all of what I'm in to consume in my body.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And truly, if I looked at that number, I would probably stick to my stomach.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get this example also when I talk to clients who are talking to me about finances and money, where when we talk about, okay, do you have a budget?
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: They say no.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: They don't track their money because they truly don't want to see how much they're actually spending on XYZ.
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so this act of not exposing yourself to something.
• 11:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I hear this a lot of times when I talk to clients who want to go to therapy, they just don't want to, they do not want to expose, they don't want to talk about their partner.
• 12:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: They almost end up acting like it's not real.
• 12:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You kind of disassociate yourself from the problem because truly exposing yourself to it means you have to expose yourself then to the feelings of uncomfortability of what you're actually doing.
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is also why people who have maybe addictions, so certain things do not expose it.
• 12:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: alcohol addiction to social media, addictions to shopping, addictions to the, we, like, when I've heard of people who have clients who may have relatives who have shopping addictions, they will hide what they buy.
• 12:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: They will come in the house and purposely hide what they buy because whenever you're hiding, you are actively experiencing shame.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: somewhere along the lies there is a feeling you're trying to comfort or suppress that you are not wanting to expose.
• 12:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I give this example because as I've been walking through this weight loss journey, I am actively realizing how much tracking is necessary for me to be able to change the behavior of you cannot consume this.
• 13:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was on as far as being like, I really just cannot eat sweets for the next year.
• 13:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we're going to keep you out of the dungeon on that.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: but giving myself the barriers to say you can't do this.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So Shames Pattern can be everywhere.
• 13:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not just necessarily in food, but it is the, what do I not want to address?
• 13:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I want to give this viewpoint of what does Paul talk about when he talks about, it's never designed us by design.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: God never designed us to hide from him.
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: In fact, exposure to him is really one of the most important things.
• 13:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: To the point where Jesus, when he was in the Garden of the Gessimity, he had to tell the Lord, can you take this cup from me?
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Our Savior, who was all human and all God who had done all these miracles, who had done all these things, who had brought all these people to him, who exposed himself as the Messiah.
• 13:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Had to go until God in His private time, I don't want to take this cup.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: How vulnerable do you have to be to know that's the entire purpose of you coming to this earth, was to die for us.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: You took off glory and came into a human body in order to be amongst us, but also die for us.
• 14:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you sit and you tell the Lord, I don't want to take this.
• 14:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: The power of vulnerability is necessary.
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I want to name the tension honestly that the rhythm of doing this is uncomfortable.
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: It can't feel like anxiety provoking.
• 14:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It can also not, it can also expose that I'm not good enough, especially when again, a lot of us have the heart to want to please God.
• 14:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: But in pleasing God, we also have to know that we are sinful people, which means that we are not going to always be put together.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And in that not being put together, it requires you to then expose that to the Lord, because you are weak.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And with being in that being a tool more than there is something that's not important.
• 14:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so let's go to second Corinthians.
• 14:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to read the scripture.
• 14:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've heard the scripture before many times, but I'm going to read it from a notion of something that you may have not ever even thought about it in that way.
• 15:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so we're going to read in second Corinthians 12, and I'm going to start in verse five.
• 15:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is Paul basically talking about all the revelation that God had been showing him.
• 15:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: And how, when you were doing things for God, you feel like, you see, you're real goosey.
• 15:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a Pilate.
• 15:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: You feel really good.
• 15:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're like, I'm really doing something.
• 15:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, my bag with my obedience.
• 15:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, but that doesn't mean anything.
• 15:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of times it is about you looking at yourself still low.
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what Paul is basically saying is, that experience of gosh on him all these things, and this is verse five, that experience is worth boasting about, but I'm not gonna do it.
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will both only about my weakness.
• 15:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so because I would be telling the truth, okay?
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I won't do it because I don't want anyone to give me credit beyond what they see in my life or here my message.
• 15:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to pause in this scripture.
• 15:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: The only reason you're able to do anything for the Lord is because of Jesus.
• 15:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have the capacity, you don't have the ability to carry the weight of what God may be doing for you or making you do without Jesus.
• 16:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't even have proper relationship with God without Jesus, but we'll keep going.
• 16:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even though I received such wonderful revelations from God.
• 16:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: So to keep me from boasting, to keep me from becoming proud I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me to keep me from becoming proud.
• 16:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So Paul is basically talking about this thing that was sent in order to he said torment but I will say to continue to keep him at the feet of the father.
• 16:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is where I believe to be sure this is a sidebar.
• 16:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe God can do things miraculously.
• 16:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that God can take certain things away immediately, like without question.
• 16:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: There are times, however, that God will use certain tools to make us come before him to work things out and to also work out our salvation.
• 16:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe, because one of the things that I was thinking about was getting on a GLP1 to lose weight.
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And not to say anything's wrong with that, I don't think anything's wrong with GOP1.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: I actually think that they're very helpful for people.
• 17:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I can't have in this conviction to not do it, and that is just my own conviction, because I really think that God wanted me to understand that it doesn't matter what you do.
• 17:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You need to learn the skill of eating well and taking care of your body.
• 17:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: otherwise that can become a band-aid to a larger problem which is gluttony, which I can talk about in another episode.
• 17:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so not to just show this asset to myself with the weakness around food, but to share that gluttony is a rooted issue that is generational from my family.
• 17:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that God is trying to help me break something that has been so ingrained in me over the years, especially around the discipline and the consistency of taking care of my body.
• 17:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I do believe that God will do things supernaturally, and I do believe that God will make us actually walk something out with him in order to work it out and also bear fruit from it.
• 17:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so going back to the scripture, this is three different times I beg the Lord to take it away.
• 17:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Each time he said, my grace is all you need.
• 17:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: My power is works best in weakness.
• 18:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now I'm glad to boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ can work through me.
• 18:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses and in insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ for when I'm weak, I deny I'm strong.
• 18:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so the aspect of this scripture is basically talking about that weakness is actually God's tool to, for us to experience grace.
• 18:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it is also the tool that makes his power be known.
• 18:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to show this as an aspect of how I'm actively working through this in my own life.
• 18:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: because doing this podcast is something that requires a lot of working through with self-sabotage.
• 18:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not good enough, guys.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So why would you put me on a hat for me to talk to people?
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And in other ways, it's allowing God to for me to surrender to I don't know enough of what your children need.
• 18:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know what you should place in my heart as a message.
• 18:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: But truly, Father, I don't know.
• 18:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Carry the weight for me to do what you want me to do.
• 18:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Carry the weight for me to show up in ways that I am not powerful and carry the weight give me the confidence, give me what you desire.
• 19:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, what I think I need, but give me what you need, God, in order to do what you want me to do.
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you need me to give up,
• 19:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: ex give me the power to do and give me the power to put the boundaries in place and follow those boundaries and so grace I believe is not just the gift of being able to have the ability to do.
• 19:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is also the capacity.
• 19:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is also being able to be blinded to what the enemy might try to throw your way.
• 19:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be blind to what I think that he might try to throw because
• 19:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I want to name, as we're talking about shame, where have you been ashamed of?
• 19:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: What have you been ashamed to expose to the father?
• 19:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what he's saying in the description, what Paul is saying is the perspective of weakness is actually where what God said, power, my power works in your weakness.
• 19:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: We experience power from being weak.
• 19:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Jesus experienced power from being weak before his father.
• 19:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Jesus experienced power being able to humble himself in the wilderness to be tempted by the enemy.
• 20:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: He received power, and so when you're looking at the aspects of not exposing yourself to the father or even within relationship with other people, look at it as I'm getting power when I am alive myself to be weak.
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, rain-framing this weakness carry strength, humility, honest disc dependence, and it's not only the opposite of faith, it is the entry point.
• 20:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Think of it like this, when you receive Jesus, when you receive the Holy Spirit, you have to say, I am a sinner.
• 20:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am a sinner.
• 20:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am someone that has done things against the Lord.
• 20:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And looking at that as the entry point into your salvation versus, I have to hold it together.
• 20:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you ain't got that kind of power, says, you don't have that kind of authority.
• 20:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: The only reason you have the power is because Jesus is all authority has been given to me in heaven and earth.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so because of this, we have to look at exposure very differently.
• 20:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to give you three practical tools before we close out this episode that you can utilize to just begin to expose yourself and see God differently in sharing these things with him.
• 21:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: So two or journal prompts.
• 21:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: The first one says name it before God, not around him.
• 21:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: God, here's what I've been hiding even from myself.
• 21:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is what's actually true.
• 21:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And right down all the things that you have been feeling like you've been hiding from him.
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, identify one substitute you reach for instead of exposure.
• 21:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: When I turn to what I do, what do I do?
• 21:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: No.
• 21:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do I turn to when I don't want to feel exposed?
• 21:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: What am I protecting myself from feeling?
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: For a Rosalind, it's comfort from food.
• 21:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: For me, it's honestly sometimes boredom.
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's gleaning from what my body is saying it needs versus what I need to discipline it to
• 21:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's one tangible act of exposure this week?
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not abstract, something concrete.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe telling one trusted person a true thing, tracking the thing you've been avoiding, saying the sentence out loud that you've been avoiding saying, I'm, I have drank, this could be just a practice of, I may have drank more through four drinks this week than I needed to.
• 22:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what's one uncomfortable specific thing?
• 22:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can expose this week to God, to myself or to someone else.
• 22:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay?
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So exposure is not danger.
• 22:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: concealment is, hiding is the thing that God actually does not want from us.
• 22:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I always wondered to myself, what would have happened if God had said?
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because here's the other thing and I didn't go into this and I can probably make another episode of what we do, but when God asked Adam, did you eat from the tree?
• 22:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Adam immediately blamed Eve when he asked Eve immediately blamed the serpent.
• 22:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of times we end up blaming everybody in a moment because of an agrimonic untie for what has happened versus us taking responsibility.
• 22:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So concealment is the danger.
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I want you to land this on identity, not performance.
• 22:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not exposing yourself to earn worth.
• 22:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're exposing yourself because you've already been safe enough to be sane.
• 23:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think in talking about this is a bigger conversation that we'll have to keep having around shame and maybe I will do a part two on how shame actually shows up in blaming and doing other things.
• 23:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with somebody.
• 23:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really think that you know someone that could benefit from this episode where the video or audio share it with them.
• 23:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you look in the show notes, you will be able to find all of the scripture references that I talked about so you can go back into your own personal per time and read them.
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then follow me on Instagram at Rosalind Renee, our ROS L-Y-N-R-E, and then if you listen to this episode and you found this to be very useful, please send me a message.
• 23:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love reading the messages from y'all is such a joy to be able to read them and banter back and forth with you, send me a voicemail, or just write a message.
• 23:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I read every DM, and I will be sure to get back to you.
• 23:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right, I'll see y'all next week, and I hope you have a good one.
• 23:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Bye.