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Vibrant Living · Divas That Care Network

0:00
SPEAKER_00: It's Divas That Care Radio.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women, by women, engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit DivasThatCare.com after the show.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: A strong positive sense of self-esteem is your first step to anything you wish to accomplish.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: Yet too often when we attempt to leave our comfort zone, we have that chorus of inner critics inside our heads, the itty-bitty shitty committee, as I like to call mine, whispering self-sabotaging doubt and untrue trash talk in our ear.
0:51
SPEAKER_01: This podcast celebrates women who rise above and move beyond any self-doubt and old, out-of-limiting beliefs.
0:59
SPEAKER_01: Women who have reconnected with who they truly are, that gorgeous, talented, fabulous gift to the world who deserves recognition and unconditional love.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: My hope is that their insights inspire all of you to do the same.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: You know the most beautiful thing any woman can wear is confidence.
1:16
SPEAKER_01: Here on Confidence in Bloom with the Divas That Care Network, I, Tina Spoletini, speak with women now secure in their own self-confidence so we can learn from their stories of how they found themselves and became the magnificent role models they are to us all now.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: Today I'm talking with Julianne Wetke.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: Julianne is a vibrant living expert and certified health coach helping women over 50 look and feel better than ever.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: Women come to her when nothing else seems to work to help resolve their big health and wellness challenges.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: What makes her coaching so successful is that she helps women level up their old habits for better ones.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: Her clients know the feeling of finally making those positive changes they want most and making them last.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: Julianne's path of helping others began when she found herself, when she found help to solve her own health issues.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: Now she loves helping other women to do the same.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Julianne.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: It's so fun to be here.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm so looking forward to this because, you know, I'm in that same age group, right?
2:21
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it's always good to know, like, you know, what can I do to make that positive change in my life?
2:30
SPEAKER_01: Tell me more a little bit about yourself.
2:33
SPEAKER_01: Oh, gosh.
2:34
SPEAKER_01: My husband and I...
2:37
SPEAKER_01: were business partners years ago after we first got married.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: We had a photography studio.
2:42
SPEAKER_01: But previous to that, you know, as far as being a business owner, entrepreneur, I kind of got the bug.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: I realized that I could do that and that I really, really wanted to do that.
2:55
SPEAKER_01: It was pretty well suited for my personality.
2:57
SPEAKER_01: Back when I was working in Hollywood, I thought I wanted to get into the film industry.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: And I...
3:06
SPEAKER_01: My manager at the company I was working for decided that I was well suited for sales, talking to people, not just being in a dark room processing things, but actually working with people.
3:19
SPEAKER_01: And I was kicking and screaming against that, you know, out of my comfort zone, of course.
3:23
SPEAKER_01: And the word sales was a dirty word to me.
3:26
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know any better.
3:28
SPEAKER_01: And anyway, and then I started earning commission.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: And then I was hooked.
3:35
SPEAKER_01: I thought, oh, so...
3:37
SPEAKER_01: not only do I get some kind of an hourly wage, whatever my employer decides to pay me, or whatever my salary might be, but I can actually kind of write my own paycheck.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: And I did not have any problem.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: My work ethic was good.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: No problem doing what it would take to, you know, pursue whatever success I wanted to pursue.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, that's how I got started.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: I was never afraid of, yeah, a little afraid.
4:04
SPEAKER_01: It felt like jumping off a cliff sometimes when I started a new business or a new endeavor.
4:08
SPEAKER_01: But, you know, you got to have that inner confidence that no matter what, you're going to somehow land on your feet.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: So right.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: So you basically have mastered the stepping out of your, you know, out of the comfort zone.
4:23
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: I would love to say mastered.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: I would love that.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, what's that phrase?
4:30
SPEAKER_01: Like nothing ever comes good of being in your comfort zone.
4:34
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:34
SPEAKER_01: You need to say you need to learn.
4:37
SPEAKER_01: You need to know how to step out of it.
4:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
4:42
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:43
SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: Everything.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: You know, I think I heard this many years ago.
4:48
SPEAKER_01: Everything we want is just outside of our comfort zone.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:52
SPEAKER_01: And boy, that is so true.
4:53
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: Nothing is.
4:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:55
SPEAKER_01: Because if we had everything that we wanted.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: We can't.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: There's always something more.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: Right.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: There's always something outside of that box.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh, there's always something new to learn, especially as women.
5:07
SPEAKER_01: We get we have to embrace that growth mindset.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, because we go through different ages and stages and the world changes and we can't just try to stay the same because.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: That's a fallacy.
5:21
SPEAKER_01: Nothing stays the same.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: We must keep learning and growing and, you know, accepting the changes that are happening in ourselves and our families and everything.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: Right.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do agree.
5:32
SPEAKER_01: I do agree.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: Although I have to say I get stuck very easily, right?
5:36
SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, even though I'm working on, you know, what's the word?
5:42
SPEAKER_01: I want to say bettering myself, right?
5:44
SPEAKER_01: Growing.
5:45
SPEAKER_01: I often will be like, okay, that's too much for me.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: Right.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: And then I stop myself.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: But I have a question.
5:52
SPEAKER_01: So what about women like, you know, women in their 70s?
5:57
SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm going to say it's my mom.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: Right.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: OK.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: She's OK.
6:02
SPEAKER_01: She's not a negative person, but she is now that she's in her 70s.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: She's she's kind of bitter.
6:07
SPEAKER_01: Right.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: I'll be honest.
6:09
SPEAKER_01: Right.
6:10
SPEAKER_01: But she her story now that she tells herself is that I've lived my life.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: What more can I look forward to?
6:17
SPEAKER_01: Right.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: So basically she, and she said this to me during COVID actually, she said, I've lived my life.
6:25
SPEAKER_01: There's no future for me.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: Right.
6:28
SPEAKER_01: Now I'm just, I'm just waiting for my days to come to an end.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, whoa, like, you know, and, and of course I'm thinking, well, why, why, why does it have to be that way?
6:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, if you're going to live another 20 years and, into your 90s that's how you want to spend the next 20 years right how do you like I don't know what the word is but how do you I mean obviously a woman like my mom would not come to you she wouldn't say I want more because to her she thinks she's done but if you happen to run into a woman say in the grocery store and she makes a comment like that to you how would you respond to that Oh, I would probably if I, you know, depend on if I knew her or not, of course, but I would probably just, you know, make it kind of a little joke.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: I like, gosh, you must be looking forward to something, you know, because I think it's important to always be looking forward to something.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, some people are not open to hearing things.
7:33
SPEAKER_01: anything else but what they've already got going on.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: But I think it doesn't hurt to just keep...
7:41
SPEAKER_01: have some compassion for people like that and to keep listening to them, especially if you're related to them and they're in your close circle of family and friends.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: Just keep inviting them to things.
7:53
SPEAKER_01: Just keep sharing with them.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: Just keep, you know what, if you care about them, keep them in your circle.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: And like I said, don't lose touch with them.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: And who knows?
8:04
SPEAKER_01: People have an amazing capacity for resilience.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: Even when you think oh, they are so just that way.
8:13
SPEAKER_01: It is truly amazing what human beings are capable of.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I believe that because I see that in my dad.
8:20
SPEAKER_01: You know, during COVID, he was like, I'm not going anywhere.
8:23
SPEAKER_01: Like, he had me scared, actually, because I was more afraid of his mental health than anything, right?
8:29
SPEAKER_01: Because he was like, so we can't do this, we can't do that.
8:33
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, and it wasn't like him.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: He's very social, and he loves people.
8:37
SPEAKER_01: But now, like, he's every day he's got somewhere to go.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: Right.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: And I, and I love that about him because that's going to keep him young.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: And it's, he's a people person.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: So he needs the people energy.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: Right.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: He's not wanted, like he's not a gardener.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: He's not, you know, so he doesn't get himself busy that way, which I do love.
8:58
SPEAKER_01: And I know there's many people.
9:00
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it can't be just my dad.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: That's like that.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: Right.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: Like there's lots of, you know, people that get to a certain age where they think, well, it's over now.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: Right.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: And I remember my grandparents in their eighties, they did the same thing every day.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: Right.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: On my mom's side, my dad's side, they were always busy.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, when my grandpa got sick, I was like, Oh my God, we don't, I don't even know how to deal with that because he was such a busy person.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: Right.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let's let's get into the topic of, you know, dealing with women and, and helping them better their lives even after 50.
9:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're probably talking mostly with women that are empty nesters, right?
9:42
SPEAKER_01: They're transitioning from sort of, well, an old life into a new life.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm getting Yeah, every every age is there's a lot of transition with every decade of our lives.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: in every situation.
9:55
SPEAKER_01: So I would say primarily women 50.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: Actually, a lot of my clientele are in their 70s.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: With all of the baby boom generation, that huge big jump in the population post-World War II.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: There are a lot of women who are, they are financially well off or at least stable.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: Maybe their husband has passed.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: Or maybe they're just kind of, the two of them are just trying to refigure their relationship because things have changed.
10:28
SPEAKER_01: And the kids have been grown and flown for a while.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: Maybe the grandkids are around.
10:33
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, or, yeah, I mean, that's probably at the one end of the spectrum.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: type of women I work with in their 70s, even 80s.
10:42
SPEAKER_01: But then, you're right, there are quite a few who are just navigating perimenopause, menopause, postmenopause.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: Kids are either in college or just about to go, whatever the case may be, and that's a big transition, as we all know.
11:00
SPEAKER_01: Maybe they're looking at retirement, possibly, and not really sure.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: Maybe they're being downsized in their job and have to pivot.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: and do something else or choose not to.
11:11
SPEAKER_01: That's a big thing too.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, but I would say between 50 and 65, I think, are probably the age where women just finally have to say, okay, whatever, there are some things going on here, some things I like, some things I don't like.
11:30
SPEAKER_01: All of the maybe the physical and emotional things I don't like, I'm not getting the help I need.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's basically it.
11:39
SPEAKER_01: A lot of women, their doctors want to write them a prescription for everything.
11:42
SPEAKER_01: And they know that.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: But they just know that that's not really the answer.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Luckily, they know that that's not the answer.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, most, I think most women do sense that they know it's not going to come in the form of a pill, make them instantly, you know, be able to adjust to their.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: And that's I mean, I think that that's just money making anyway, right?
12:05
SPEAKER_01: So let's go with physical health and wellness.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: And how does it impact like a woman as she ages her confidence, her self esteem?
12:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh, gosh, every everything about that.
12:19
SPEAKER_01: And by wellness, we mean, we're taking into account her state of mind, and how clearly she's able to think a lot of that believe it or not, is nutritional.
12:30
SPEAKER_01: I mean, nutrition has a huge amount to do with how resilient our brains are.
12:35
SPEAKER_01: A lot of us like to do the crossword puzzles or learn something new, and that's all great for keeping your brain spry and healthy and learning new things, but there's a huge nutritional component as well.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: What they're finding is that people who have insulin resistance are A lot of times, maybe your doctors maybe said something about being pre-diabetic or maybe people with type 2 diabetes.
13:02
SPEAKER_01: That could lead to a lot of other chronic conditions.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: And it actually does affect your brain health as well.
13:09
SPEAKER_01: as they found out that sometimes people who have insulin resistance earlier in life, decades later, they actually develop dementia.
13:17
SPEAKER_01: So that's huge.
13:19
SPEAKER_01: And of course, insulin resistance is very much related to what we're eating, how we're eating that sort of thing.
13:24
SPEAKER_01: So in our culture, I mean, we're set up not for success.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: You know, I think you and I talked about this before you walk into the grocery store, and you're hit with you know, all of the marketing for all the foods you probably don't want to eat.
13:39
SPEAKER_01: And what do we see on television, right?
13:41
SPEAKER_01: They're drinking alcohol and eating pizza.
13:45
SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily the things we should do all the time.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, so I would say basically health and wellness, huge, because there are a lot of people running around out there with brain fog, not realizing that it could very much be related to food triggers.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: You know, just so many things out there.
14:08
SPEAKER_01: And there's a way you can kind of test this out for yourself.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: You can go get tests, right?
14:13
SPEAKER_01: Especially if you go to a functional medicine doctor or someone who's got a little more holistic mindset.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: Lots of tests you can take to measure any of these things, like what foods are you reacting to?
14:23
SPEAKER_01: But one of the easiest and simplest things is just to...
14:27
SPEAKER_01: you know, start eliminating a few things from what you're eating, and seeing how you feel seeing what the difference is, and then go back and see if it, you know, something pops back up again that you don't like.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, but that's a whole process.
14:42
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if that answers your question.
14:44
SPEAKER_01: I get off on tangents.
14:46
SPEAKER_01: No, it's all good.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: But that's how we learn.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: That's how we learn what, you know, because if you answer the question, you know, just straight, this is the answer.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: There's never really just one straight answer.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: Right?
14:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: I mean, We all know.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: And if you don't go on a tangent, right, then, you know, our symptoms won't come up, right?
15:04
SPEAKER_01: Because we're all going to be dealing with different things.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: Although I know brain fog is huge.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: Brain fog is huge with people in general.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: I've heard men now starting to complain about brain fog.
15:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, what is going on?
15:17
SPEAKER_01: But then, like you said, if it's the nutrition, we're not giving our body the, you know, the nutrition that it needs.
15:24
SPEAKER_01: It's going to affect all of us, not just the women.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: True.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: And also a lot of it is, I mean, again, back to the wellness piece of it, the health, the wellness, the wellness being our mental capacity and our mental state, stress is actually both.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: It's totally mind, body, physiological.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of people don't understand just how much chronic stress that they're putting themselves through every day.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: They're not able to de-stress.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: So I have a lot of, and all of these things I'm saying, by the way, I have a lot of great curated information.
15:59
SPEAKER_01: I call them white papers.
16:01
SPEAKER_01: They're basically like one, two page, that's it, PDFs that if somebody has issues with sleep, boom, you know, here's some great tips and why, why this might work.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: You have an issue with this, boom, here you go.
16:14
SPEAKER_01: Try this sort of a thing.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: So all of those things are available to people for free.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: Right.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's excellent to know.
16:21
SPEAKER_01: That's great.
16:22
SPEAKER_01: And we will be sharing your information in the show notes.
16:27
SPEAKER_01: So I want to ask you, how do you define self-confidence?
16:31
SPEAKER_01: And do you think that it's important to have?
16:33
SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: And I think, you know, this is kind of a, remember, I was looking at some of your questions prior to today.
16:43
SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because then I realized, okay, self-confidence, that's kind of a circular term.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: question is like what you know the self-esteem self-confidence it's a circle isn't it really um and but self-confidence that just I think that comes from um just being able to tap into your your own feeling of self-worth self-worth or self-esteem and it doesn't take much because Even if someone is extremely shy, very timid, would say that they don't have much confidence at all, they know that there are probably one or two or many things that they do really well, like better than anybody else.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: I mean, just totally kicking ass with whatever this is that they do.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: And they know it, you know.
17:33
SPEAKER_01: So sometimes if you need a little boost, like you're just about to do something that you feel like you need to bolster a little of your confidence, you can just remember some of those things that you are extremely good at.
17:45
SPEAKER_01: And then once you do the thing and your confidence kind of was bolstered and you actually did pretty well getting through whatever that situation was, that actually comes right back and kind of bolsters your own feeling of self-esteem.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: So it's kind of like one is The other.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, hard to operate in life if you don't have at least a little bit of both.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: And it's like a muscle.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: We can increase it.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: You know, we can.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
18:14
SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't you don't have to be any age to do that.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: No, not at all.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: No.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: And I also think to like someone who's shy is not necessarily not confident.
18:25
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: I mean, the way I see it is someone who's shy just doesn't like to be the center of attention.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Whereas, you know, because I like to think I'm a confident person, you know, but I can be shy.
18:37
SPEAKER_01: Like there's times where I hate walking into a room by myself.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to know anyone there.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: And I do walk in a little bit shy.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: And I will never say timid because I'm a big woman.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:51
SPEAKER_01: But, but I, you know, I'll walk in and I have to like really take a feel for the room before I'll really go up to someone and start a conversation.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, if there's somebody that I know in the room, I will usually slide right up to that person.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: Right.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: And my confidence will then, you know, just glow.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: But I, So I can be shy, but I'm an extrovert, right?
19:14
SPEAKER_01: As you probably already figure out, right?
19:17
SPEAKER_01: And so shy and introvert usually go together, right?
19:23
SPEAKER_01: But I think they're two different things.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're kind of one's more probably just a personality tendency.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: And one is just how it shows up in the world.
19:35
SPEAKER_01: world uh you know it's and something to your sometimes when people it's not that they're um you know they just don't want to be around people but there are some people that need to uh just recharge by them you know they'll go out they'll they'll be social or see the family or be out in public and or go to work and do what they need to do but they don't want to stay with a bunch of people.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: They need quiet.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: They need alone time.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: They need Zen work with their hands or whatever to do that recharge.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: And then there are other people.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: No, no, their recharge is hanging out with other people.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: After the after work, they want to go out to the happy hour, they want to go out to the party or to do the thing with their friend, you know, that's how they recharge.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: So it's more of that kind of a preference.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: One's not better than the other.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: No, it's just the way like, it's just the way their body works, or their I don't know if that's their body or their brain or their body's energy.
20:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm not really sure.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: But that's what they need.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like that.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: So what tips could you When you're working with your clients, what tips do you share with them on being more confident or gaining that confident muscle?
20:49
SPEAKER_01: Boy, I would say one of the big things, and this applies to almost everything that somebody wants to improve in their lives, tap into your intuition a little bit more.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of us have, I'm just going to say it, outsourced our intuition.
21:08
SPEAKER_01: even simple things like When is it time to eat?
21:12
SPEAKER_01: When the clock tells me.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: Right?
21:15
SPEAKER_01: Or when my friend comes over and we'd head out for lunch or whatever it is.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: So I've had people even tell me before that they've actually kind of lost touch with when they start feeling hungry, when they're very hungry, when they're, you know, not full yet or too full.
21:34
SPEAKER_01: I mean, just that sort of a thing.
21:35
SPEAKER_01: And I think you and I talked about intuition being that whole thing That other sense, it's like your gut feeling about things is extremely important.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of us have just ignored that feeling that our physiology is screaming at us like, Like, oh, that person may not be so great.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: You know, they might look okay on the outside, but wow, you're just getting kind of a strange feeling about them.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: Like you can't really trust them and you don't know why.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: And what do we do?
22:06
SPEAKER_01: We go, oh, no, no, no.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to let my mind take over and I'm going to trust what happens.
22:13
SPEAKER_01: what I'm seeing here on the surface rather than what my gut instinct is telling me.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: So just being able to tap into that, the gut feelings, the instincts, just being more in tune with that as we go on.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: It takes practice sometimes because a lot of us are way out of practice.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: So true.
22:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that actually can guide what we do and make us realize that, hey, you know what?
22:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm confident enough to...
22:43
SPEAKER_01: Just decline the offer to go out to whatever that person invited me to just because I feel like I'm not going to do that right now.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: Or I don't want to go out with that person because I'm not really, it's kind of a hassle.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: They're always bugging me and they kind of stress me out.
23:05
SPEAKER_01: And it's okay to say no to some things.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: It's okay to say yes to some things.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: If your gut instinct is saying, that might be great.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: don't talk yourself out of it.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's a good idea to take the leap and try something new.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, just being more in tune with your body wisdom is huge and bolster your confidence.
23:28
SPEAKER_01: I love that you said that because I kind of like don't know if I ever had that, right?
23:34
SPEAKER_01: That listening to my intuition, right?
23:37
SPEAKER_01: And when I started with like personal development and all the coaches would say to me, Tina, you know, you know the answer to that question, right?
23:45
SPEAKER_01: I don't know does not exist.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: And I used to think, well, what is wrong with me, right?
23:50
SPEAKER_01: Like, why don't I know if I'm supposed to know, right?
23:54
SPEAKER_01: How come I don't know?
23:56
SPEAKER_01: And then someone had said to me, what is your body telling you, right?
24:01
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, my body is telling me to listen to my head and my head doesn't have the answer, right?
24:08
SPEAKER_01: So, and then, you know, this lady happened to say to me, Tina, just take a minute.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: sit back, let your feet touch the ground and really sink into what we just talked about.
24:19
SPEAKER_01: And then I realized that, okay, I get it, right?
24:25
SPEAKER_01: Because then the answer came to me and I thought, so if I do this with every question that comes up, I'll get my answer, right?
24:34
SPEAKER_01: Because If I know the answer, like I want to do this or do I want to do this or do I want to do that?
24:40
SPEAKER_01: You know, and then I realized, OK, I get it now.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: And so I've caught myself telling my kids when they want to do something, but they're not sure.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: I'll say to them, what does your body tell you?
24:52
SPEAKER_01: Right.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: Because, I mean, we all get it in a different way.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: Some people hear it.
24:56
SPEAKER_01: Some people see it.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: Right.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: But I'm not I don't know all this stuff, or at least I didn't at the time.
25:02
SPEAKER_01: And so now I'm telling my kids and my daughter is really catching on to it.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, this is not like, you know, the hippie woo woo stuff.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: This is this is real life.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: Like your body knows if something is good for you or not.
25:19
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: We just need to listen.
25:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's great.
25:22
SPEAKER_01: Or see it or whatever, like however our body is telling us.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: I love that you brought that up, though, because that's I mean, once we understand what our intuition is, we can learn to like accept it and listen to it.
25:38
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: Because I think if we don't this.
25:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, this is why the world is crazy the way it is, because everybody, like you said, has outsourced it.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:48
SPEAKER_01: We're letting the TV and our devices think for us.
25:51
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:52
SPEAKER_01: That's what you mean when you say outsource.
25:54
SPEAKER_01: Right.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: Pretty much.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:56
SPEAKER_01: And so this is a way for us to sort of take control again.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: Right.
26:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:03
SPEAKER_01: Love that.
26:03
SPEAKER_01: I want to learn more about how this intuition works, because I think it's God gave it to us.
26:09
SPEAKER_01: Right.
26:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's one of our oldest, our oldest methods of survival.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: If you think about it.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: Right.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: You and I had talked about primitive humans.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: If you meet some stranger on the road, and the hair rises up on the back of your neck, well, be prepared.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: There might be something dangerous.
26:27
SPEAKER_01: And nowadays, we meet someone and the hair goes up on the back of our necks.
26:31
SPEAKER_01: What do we do?
26:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, no, no.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not going to judge them.
26:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, maybe you should you know it's okay not to judge but don't get in a car with them and go someplace right yeah don't go anywhere alone with this person or trust that they're going to give you what they're telling you or trust that they're telling the truth right exactly yeah yeah yeah and I think you know that's we've got to practice that right because I think a lot of people don't feel that because we've we've ignored it for so long so now I think we're you know if we just take that second or just to sort of go, okay, what am I feeling, right?
27:13
SPEAKER_01: And then react.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: There's a real little interesting tip I heard.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: This is a long time ago.
27:20
SPEAKER_01: I was in some kind of a seminar and the person who was leading the seminar, he gave an example of when he was asking his wife, no, I don't think it was him, it was someone else who was relating this story.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: A woman was being proposed to and the man popped the question And the woman didn't know how to respond.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: She's like, oh, unexpected.
27:45
SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't know.
27:47
SPEAKER_01: Do I, how do I, she was totally in her head about it, not paying any attention to anything else.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: And she just wasn't sure.
27:54
SPEAKER_01: And he said, well, let's flip a coin.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: And then, well, immediately people, you hear that and you're like, what?
28:04
SPEAKER_01: But here's the catch.
28:05
SPEAKER_01: The coin, right?
28:06
SPEAKER_01: So you call heads.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: Heads, we get married.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: Tails, we don't.
28:10
SPEAKER_01: You flip the coin.
28:12
SPEAKER_01: You see what it is.
28:12
SPEAKER_01: And then you don't necessarily do what the result was.
28:17
SPEAKER_01: You see how you feel about it.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, we are getting married.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay, I feel good about that.
28:24
SPEAKER_01: Or, oh, we're not getting married.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I feel relieved about that, right?
28:29
SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of an interesting little take.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: Flipping a coin sounds pretty...
28:35
SPEAKER_01: like a terrible way to make that decision.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: But that's not really what you're doing.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: You're just getting in touch with how you feel about, if we did this, how would I feel if we did that, right?
28:46
SPEAKER_01: Like imagine this scenario, someone's making the decision for you, you know, which, how do I feel about it?
28:52
SPEAKER_01: So I kind of like that.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: I told my daughter that story and she just thought it was the worst thing.
28:58
SPEAKER_01: She says, flip a coin.
29:01
SPEAKER_01: I said, no, no, let me explain.
29:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: So next time.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:07
SPEAKER_01: When you, when you want to, when you're thinking about getting married, flip a coin.
29:10
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:11
SPEAKER_01: And see how you feel.
29:12
SPEAKER_01: Well, a lot of people actually know the, know right away.
29:15
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:17
SPEAKER_01: Getting married is well, but some people don't.
29:20
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:20
SPEAKER_01: You hear, you hear lots of times where after they're on their second marriage, you know, they'll say like, yeah, I, I didn't know.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: I thought I knew, but I didn't know.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:31
SPEAKER_01: Now also, I mean, people change, right?
29:33
SPEAKER_01: So what, you know, today, you might not know tomorrow.
29:36
SPEAKER_01: Like I get that part too.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:39
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
29:39
SPEAKER_01: That's cool.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: That's an, that's an interesting take for sure.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: So when you're working with your clients, are there specific hormonal or psychological changes that they experienced that can affect their confidence levels?
29:55
SPEAKER_01: And how do you help them navigate them?
29:57
SPEAKER_01: I'm, I'm, Actually, I know the answer to the question.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: There are.
30:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, 100%.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's kind of a rhetorical question, I guess, because we...
30:08
SPEAKER_01: As women, we all know that.
30:10
SPEAKER_01: Right?
30:10
SPEAKER_01: As we get through, like when we hit our 40s, we're like, whoa, this didn't happen to me when I was 20.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: Well, even men, they go through hormone changes.
30:18
SPEAKER_01: It usually kicks in a little bit later.
30:21
SPEAKER_01: They call it andropause.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you've ever heard of that.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: But there are changes in their hormones as well.
30:27
SPEAKER_01: So it's just not quite the same, right, as what we women go through.
30:33
SPEAKER_01: But I would say number one is really just Just decades before you, like maybe as early as 30, 35, most of us during that age are busy.
30:47
SPEAKER_01: We're raising kids or we're in the thick of our careers or we're just moving all the time.
30:52
SPEAKER_01: And that's a good time, though, to really start taking better care of ourselves.
30:58
SPEAKER_01: It sounds ridiculous to some of us because if you had told me that when I was 35, I would have said, oh, no, no.
31:05
SPEAKER_01: I don't have time for that.
31:07
SPEAKER_01: I know, I'm thinking back when I was, I mean, I still had very small kids and I'm thinking there was no time for me.
31:13
SPEAKER_01: No time for anything, right?
31:15
SPEAKER_01: Except the bare minimum.
31:17
SPEAKER_01: But you can still, it's amazing what you can accomplish for, even when you're very, very busy and you feel like there's just no time to carve out.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: There's always a way and it's totally in our, it works in our favor to do that because As we progress along our journey, Our kids get older.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: They require less time from us.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: Maybe our career gets a little bit more on a path and we don't have to be so crazy and stressed about it.
31:48
SPEAKER_01: And as time goes on, you don't want to look back and say, oh, you know what?
31:52
SPEAKER_01: I really wish I had started doing that when I was in my mid-30s or maybe when I was 40 instead of waiting.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: Not that there's any, I mean, not that we can't make a huge difference as we get older, but it's all back to eating well, knowing how to eat, knowing what to eat.
32:10
SPEAKER_01: Big thing.
32:11
SPEAKER_01: I mean, a lot of people, there are a lot of food myths out there that people still believe.
32:14
SPEAKER_01: So I help them with that a lot.
32:18
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, also exercise, people thinking they can go to a gym and sweat off all of the bad food that they ate, or all the alcohol that they had over the weekend.
32:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:32
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I used to think that, you know, just sweat it out, run it off, you know, go to the gym, whatever.
32:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so none of those things are good.
32:59
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't work.
33:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I just fell off the hormone cliff and now my life is berserk and I'm having all these symptoms.
33:08
SPEAKER_01: No, no.
33:09
SPEAKER_01: That usually starts long before, and it has a lot to do with how we're treating ourselves, our stress levels, again, what we're eating.
33:18
SPEAKER_01: Are we taking hormone birth control?
33:21
SPEAKER_01: That's a big one.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I did for years.
33:26
SPEAKER_01: I mean, every woman's got to decide that for herself, but that is a big deal.
33:31
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's good to...
33:35
SPEAKER_01: Have every woman who's on that rethink that.
33:37
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, all of these things make it a much, if you're taking better care of yourself in all ways, that makes it a much easier transition when we finally get to our 40s, 50s, 60s.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: And that's when our hormones are naturally going through more of a change.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: So I hope that helps.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: It's like take better care of yourself earlier or start a few habits maybe, even if you're Don't have time to think or whatever.
34:05
SPEAKER_01: Start a couple of things, just a couple.
34:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
34:09
SPEAKER_01: And so I had a lady that I talked with about menopause a few weeks ago, and we talked about this and how like when we're in our 20s and 30s, our PMS stage is a high indication of how our menopause state will be.
34:28
SPEAKER_01: Right.
34:28
SPEAKER_01: And our perimenopause.
34:30
SPEAKER_01: And so what we're experiencing as PMS in our 20s, when we're most of us are not even childbearing.
34:36
SPEAKER_01: Right.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: When we reach perimenopause after childbearing years.
34:41
SPEAKER_01: Right.
34:42
SPEAKER_01: We know it's just an extension or a stretch of what we've already been through.
34:48
SPEAKER_01: Right.
34:49
SPEAKER_01: Only now the hormones are going they're coming to an end.
34:51
SPEAKER_01: So they're like all over the place.
34:54
SPEAKER_01: Right.
34:54
SPEAKER_01: So that's where, you know, if we know, OK, so I'm going to be PMSing on this week.
35:00
SPEAKER_01: I need to know that I need to make sure that I do this, this and this.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: Right.
35:05
SPEAKER_01: And the other three weeks of the month, I need to make sure that I'm drinking water.
35:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm eating good foods like good, healthy, nutritious foods.
35:13
SPEAKER_01: And it's then that will help us as we get older.
35:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
35:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
35:18
SPEAKER_01: And they're saying now, like, you know, lifting weights now, they don't they're not saying you have to be like, you know, like weight filter bound, right?
35:27
SPEAKER_01: But you if you know, bringing in weights in your regular like resistant training into your regular workout routine, just to build those muscles, because if you're prone to osteoporosis, those muscles will keep you will protect your bones longer.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: Right.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's kind of where you were going with that.
35:47
SPEAKER_01: When you're staying, you know, eating, like looking after yourself in your 30s and, you know, late 20s, early 30s, because at 35, that's when perimenopause really will start.
35:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we don't most of us don't realize it until the last four or five years before.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: Right.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: Right.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: And so that 10 could be 10 years could be 15 years.
36:09
SPEAKER_01: Right.
36:09
SPEAKER_01: that's a lot of like, we're losing a lot of estrogen and a lot of stuff in our bodies, right?
36:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to use proper words, because I don't really know, like the medical terms or anything like that.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: But I mean, it had we known that 2040 years ago, right, right, then, you know, most of us that are in our many perimenopause stage now wouldn't be where we are suffering the way we are.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: Because now we're like, we can't go backwards.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: Mm hmm.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: We can't do what we didn't do then, but we have to sort of make up for it.
36:41
SPEAKER_01: I tell all my kids when they bring their friends over, all the girls, all the young girls, 25 and under have been on birth control since they were like, you know, 14, 15 years old because they had, you know, menstrual problems.
36:57
SPEAKER_01: And that was the answer.
36:58
SPEAKER_01: These people are putting, you know, the doctors are giving them birth control.
37:02
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you guys get off the damn medicine.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like, you know, and they all look at me like, I'm crazy.
37:08
SPEAKER_01: You're not a doctor.
37:10
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, guys, you don't know what you're doing to yourself.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: Right.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: And I've been doing that for years.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:15
SPEAKER_01: And now my daughter is finally caught on to why because now she's we're starting to see, you know, COVID was amazing for this, it started to open our eyes to a lot of stuff that's going on out there.
37:25
SPEAKER_01: And this birth control is not good.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: And here in Canada, they're starting to bring in clinics that are going to be dealing with just birth control issues and diabetes.
37:39
SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking, yeah, because that's where the biggest problems are now.
37:42
SPEAKER_01: You mentioned the, I think this is what you were referring to.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: And I believe it's Sarah Gottfried.
37:53
SPEAKER_01: It might be from her book, The Hormone Cure.
37:55
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
37:56
SPEAKER_01: Sarah Gottfried.
37:57
SPEAKER_01: But it was, shoot, and I'm trying to remember, but there was another author as well who was recommending doing certain things during certain weeks of your cycle.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: Like if a menstruating woman is...
38:11
SPEAKER_01: you know, has a four, like a 28 day cycle, approximately, you know, what is best to what foods and what things are best to do during this week, what is best to do during that week, it's just during like two or three, four stages during your whole cycle, just to make it a little bit easier if you have a lot of symptoms of PMS.
38:33
SPEAKER_01: And, yeah, it's it's very interesting, and actually very effective.
38:38
SPEAKER_01: And I think if people if women really get in touch with it's a lot of instinct again.
38:43
SPEAKER_01: If women start getting used to treating their body like it really wants to be treated during every...
38:52
SPEAKER_01: Because normally, what do we do?
38:54
SPEAKER_01: We get the Midol or something or the aspirin or the like, oh, here it is.
38:58
SPEAKER_01: I forgot.
38:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm just hoarding my cycle, whatever.
39:03
SPEAKER_01: And if we just get in the habit of making those changes in our in our lifestyle when we're menstruating still, I think that probably will go a long way to helping us as we start transitioning away from that later on in life.
39:19
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
39:20
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
39:21
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not sure if you're in touch with like natural past doctors or anything like that, but I have an Ayurveda coach and she has taught me that that month or that week of the month that you are menstruating, that is your body's time to heal, right?
39:38
SPEAKER_01: So you need to be like resting, you know, not, you don't necessarily have to be like laying in bed for the week, but you do less, right?
39:47
SPEAKER_01: You do less and you really allow your body to release anything that it's holding onto, right?
39:53
SPEAKER_01: And in the old, old days, they used to like get together all the women that were, you know, menstruating on a certain time and they would have like circles and they would celebrate, right?
40:04
SPEAKER_01: You know, the menstruation and here, like in North America, we have made that time of the month a dreadful time.
40:11
SPEAKER_01: Right.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: Like we really are like, oh, it's that time of the month again.
40:15
SPEAKER_01: Right.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: Right.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: Right.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: But truthfully, we should be celebrating it.
40:19
SPEAKER_01: Right.
40:19
SPEAKER_01: And and enjoying it because we're the only humans on the earth that can experience that.
40:25
SPEAKER_01: Right.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: Right.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: So I mean, I don't know if I can celebrate it, to be honest.
40:31
SPEAKER_01: There's days where I'm like, really today, right?
40:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but it probably just feels a little bit extra nice to take it easy once in a while or do a self care thing that week, or whatever it is.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: And your end of the thing is your body knows it's coming.
40:47
SPEAKER_01: It's warning you, right?
40:49
SPEAKER_01: So you should be able to sort of plan for it.
40:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, I'm going to make sure I have supper ready for the next three nights so that I don't have to do too much when I get home or whatever it has to be, right?
40:59
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's all in our planning, right?
41:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:04
SPEAKER_01: Funny how, you know, our conversations are going like...
41:08
SPEAKER_01: I know.
41:08
SPEAKER_01: They keep going away from like your plan.
41:10
SPEAKER_01: There's so much to say and you keep reminding me of things.
41:14
UNKNOWN: Yeah.
41:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is why this is great.
41:16
SPEAKER_01: I love this.
41:17
SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, I love to talk and learn like, you know, I'm learning from you as well.
41:22
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let's let's talk mindset and attitude.
41:25
SPEAKER_01: And how does that, you know, play a role in fostering any challenge that a woman in her 40s has?
41:33
SPEAKER_01: I think we referred back to stepping outside your comfort zone, being willing to do that.
41:40
SPEAKER_01: And I think a helpful tool is what I call the reframe.
41:45
SPEAKER_01: And so here's something that this might be a writer downer for some people if you're listening to this and you're hearing this for the first time.
41:54
SPEAKER_01: Life happens for us.
42:00
SPEAKER_01: Because what do we usually say?
42:02
SPEAKER_01: Ah, that happened to me.
42:04
SPEAKER_01: Things are happening to me.
42:06
SPEAKER_01: Well, as if we're like the victim or something and we have no agency, we have no say in the topic.
42:15
SPEAKER_01: How about life happens for me when we think back on a lot of challenges or obstacles we have faced in our lives?
42:24
SPEAKER_01: If you really think about it, when you can look back and get some perspective on it, that's usually the time of our biggest growth, right?
42:34
SPEAKER_01: It's like that's when we said, oh, well, this is happening now.
42:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we've got to do something.
42:40
SPEAKER_01: We've got to be creative.
42:44
SPEAKER_01: And then you think about it and all the really– there were so many– points in my life I think that, oh boy, that really went badly, or that took a wrong turn, that went in a place I didn't expect it to.
42:58
SPEAKER_01: But then, you know, if that hadn't happened, then it wouldn't have taken me to this other place that was much better than anything I could have anticipated.
43:07
SPEAKER_01: So it was serendipity.
43:10
SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, that happened, which was awful, but then, That came out of it.
43:15
SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
43:16
SPEAKER_01: You know?
43:16
SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
43:17
SPEAKER_01: So life happens for us.
43:19
SPEAKER_01: That's a big one.
43:20
SPEAKER_01: And my grandma used to always say everything happens for a reason, right?
43:24
UNKNOWN: Yep.
43:24
SPEAKER_01: And I've heard people say like you meet every single person you come into contact with.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: There's a reason for it.
43:32
SPEAKER_01: Right.
43:32
SPEAKER_01: You're going to learn from that, whether it's a good experience or a bad experience.
43:37
SPEAKER_01: Either way, it's something you have to learn.
43:40
SPEAKER_01: Right.
43:41
SPEAKER_01: And I mean, I see that with the younger kids, not so much like with teenagers.
43:46
SPEAKER_01: Right.
43:52
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, wow.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: You know, they they've moved on.
44:02
SPEAKER_01: They used to be like me and now they've moved on.
44:04
SPEAKER_01: So what is that?
44:05
SPEAKER_01: Like, why?
44:06
SPEAKER_01: Why does that happen?
44:08
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:08
SPEAKER_01: And it's a good opportunity to look in at yourself and say, wow, like they they were too grown up.
44:14
SPEAKER_01: They wanted to move forward and I'm still stuck here or vice versa.
44:18
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:19
SPEAKER_01: I've noticed that a lot.
44:20
SPEAKER_01: And it's funny.
44:21
SPEAKER_01: And I'm sure like I mean, people that are in their 90s have to see that.
44:26
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:26
SPEAKER_01: They may not always look into themselves and say, you know, Was I the bad experience for that person or was I the one that, you know, pushed them to go out of their comfort zone?
44:37
SPEAKER_01: But, you know, they can see that, oh, I met that person and I learned this from them.
44:41
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:41
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
44:42
SPEAKER_01: We don't look at that.
44:43
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:43
SPEAKER_01: Like as in general, we don't look at that.
44:46
SPEAKER_01: You know, when we when you and I meet.
44:48
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm not looking at you going, geez.
44:51
SPEAKER_01: So I've met this Julianne.
44:53
SPEAKER_01: I wonder what she's going to teach.
44:54
SPEAKER_01: Like, we don't really do that at the moment.
44:57
SPEAKER_01: But after, when you're no longer in each other's lives, you go, hmm, it was short-lived, but I learned a lot from that.
45:05
SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, like, look, we're still friends.
45:08
SPEAKER_01: We're still really close.
45:10
SPEAKER_01: There's a reason for that, right?
45:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
45:13
SPEAKER_01: And back to your question, I think we...
45:16
SPEAKER_01: Like I said, life is all about change.
45:19
SPEAKER_01: There is no such thing as stay the same.
45:22
SPEAKER_01: Even in a marriage, right?
45:23
SPEAKER_01: You get married and, oh, fully expect things to change.
45:28
SPEAKER_01: They're not supposed to be exactly the same, right?
45:31
SPEAKER_01: Any relationship, it's growing.
45:34
SPEAKER_01: It's supposed to.
45:35
SPEAKER_01: And over our decades of life, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, beyond, every...
45:42
SPEAKER_01: We are always growing, and not only just year after year, but we're supposed to be changing.
45:50
SPEAKER_01: We're not supposed to stay the same, so if we look in the mirror, we don't look like we did when we were 18 or 20, that's okay, because we're not supposed to.
46:00
SPEAKER_01: What I love is that as we age, we actually are able to gain more credibility, and Yeah, and I love that too.
46:10
SPEAKER_01: And hopefully we're becoming more wise.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: And it's almost like right up until you're about 50, it's all about knowledge, having the knowledge, right?
46:21
SPEAKER_01: And then that shifts a little bit when you get a little further on in your decades.
46:26
SPEAKER_01: And hopefully that knowledge that's metabolized turns into wisdom.
46:32
SPEAKER_01: And it's just a way of knowing, just automatically knowing what to do Pay attention to what not to, what to focus on, what not to, what matters, what doesn't matter.
46:44
SPEAKER_01: Then we can keep learning, but you get a lot more perspective on life.
46:50
SPEAKER_01: So I just want to say to anyone under 50 out there, you've got a lot to look forward to, because I'll tell you what, I'm in my 60s now, and I like my life much better now than I did in my 30s or my 20s.
47:04
SPEAKER_01: I know that might sound strange to some people.
47:08
SPEAKER_01: Not really, actually.
47:09
SPEAKER_01: I remember my father-in-law saying the same thing to me.
47:12
SPEAKER_01: Like he said, you know, in your 30s and 40s, you're still working.
47:15
SPEAKER_01: You're still making your life.
47:17
SPEAKER_01: And then when you hit your 50s and 60s, even more so, it's a different, it's a better life because the hard work is done, right?
47:27
SPEAKER_01: And you're kind of like, I don't, I might be different for you, but I think for him, what he felt was not only can I enjoy life, you know, the work that I've put into my life, but I, I, it feels like he still worked.
47:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he was almost 80 when he retired.
47:44
SPEAKER_01: So he's, you know, he didn't work physically anymore, but he did work like every day he was going into work, but he, you know, it was a different kind of work, right?
47:55
SPEAKER_01: It was that wisdom that he could share.
47:57
SPEAKER_01: Probably.
47:57
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to think, well, I'm thinking the big difference, at least from my perspective and what I see out there with other people's lives is that, uh, It seems like the first part of your career, it's almost like you're doing what you think you're supposed to do.
48:13
SPEAKER_01: And you're just paddling fast, right?
48:18
SPEAKER_01: And I think as we get older, we start doing less of what we don't want to do anymore and more of what we do.
48:24
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of us, 50, 60, 70 years old, a lot of women I know are busier than ever uh...
48:32
SPEAKER_01: doing they're not the same things that they were doing their twenties and thirties but they're very busy very active but the differences that when you get a little bit older understand that you can do things that you want to do that actually nourish you on an emotional level and not just all that stuff that you had to do because you thought it was expected of you.
48:57
SPEAKER_01: But you get to do the things you really want to do.
49:00
SPEAKER_01: You look forward to the things that you're doing.
49:02
SPEAKER_01: And you can more easily say no to the things you don't want to do.
49:07
SPEAKER_01: So there's a whole shift of perspective, I think, as we get older.
49:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
49:12
SPEAKER_01: And I'm starting to see that.
49:13
SPEAKER_01: Right.
49:13
SPEAKER_01: I'm starting to see and feel that myself.
49:16
SPEAKER_01: Right.
49:16
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, like, for example, I was invited to a show.
49:20
SPEAKER_01: Two different friends invited me to the same show.
49:23
SPEAKER_01: And when I got the invitation, I was like, no, that's not a thing for me.
49:27
SPEAKER_01: Right.
49:27
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't I don't want to do that.
49:30
SPEAKER_01: Right.
49:30
SPEAKER_01: And I didn't have a problem saying, sorry, I can't make it.
49:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
49:34
SPEAKER_01: Right.
49:34
SPEAKER_01: And my daughter was like, are you crazy?
49:37
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, I love their company and I would do any, almost anything with them, but I don't want to go see this show.
49:44
SPEAKER_01: Why would I waste my time?
49:45
SPEAKER_01: I can sit and knit on my couch, watch a hockey game instead of going to a show that I'm not going to enjoy.
49:51
SPEAKER_01: And if I got to pay$150, that's even worse.
49:55
SPEAKER_01: Like I don't know why.
49:56
SPEAKER_01: Right.
49:57
SPEAKER_01: It's not worth my time or my money.
49:59
SPEAKER_01: Right.
50:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:00
SPEAKER_01: When, but if I was in my twenties, And they had asked me, I probably would have said yes to both of them as long as they were on different nights.
50:08
SPEAKER_01: Right.
50:09
SPEAKER_01: Right.
50:09
SPEAKER_01: So I would have seen the show twice, not enjoyed it, but to be with my friends, I would have made it miserable, but a people pleaser.
50:16
SPEAKER_01: So maybe, you know, Hey, exactly.
50:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:20
SPEAKER_01: Right.
50:21
SPEAKER_01: And I, okay.
50:21
SPEAKER_01: So people pleasing.
50:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm glad you said that.
50:24
SPEAKER_01: Many times, and maybe you can even correct me if I'm wrong, many times I have done, like I've gone to movies or I've gone to events with friends that I really didn't want to go to, but I went to be with my friend, right?
50:37
SPEAKER_01: Is that people pleasing?
50:39
SPEAKER_01: Because I enjoy being with my friend.
50:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:43
SPEAKER_01: I would say this, well, it does qualify technically, but sometimes, I mean, everyone has this issue.
50:50
SPEAKER_01: They really do.
50:51
SPEAKER_01: I was just talking to a client the other day about, things that she's learned to say no to and things that she still says yes to, even though she kind of wishes she hadn't.
51:01
SPEAKER_01: And I said, well, how's this?
51:03
SPEAKER_01: How about just in case, because they're the people you love, but you don't want to do the thing that they want to do.
51:09
SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
51:10
SPEAKER_01: How about an alternate or just tell them like, you know what?
51:15
SPEAKER_01: I would love to do that with you, but that's not my cup of tea.
51:18
SPEAKER_01: I just, I prefer not doing that.
51:20
SPEAKER_01: I hope that's okay.
51:21
SPEAKER_01: Maybe we can take a rain check.
51:22
SPEAKER_01: And then how about, Next week, we go do this thing together.
51:27
SPEAKER_01: You know, wouldn't that be fun?
51:29
SPEAKER_01: So I always suggest an alternate.
51:32
SPEAKER_01: Like I know somebody who's, her friend, her idea of getting together is going out to an expensive restaurant.
51:41
SPEAKER_01: And she knows it's going to be, and it's okay, but the food that her friend chooses is never good.
51:47
SPEAKER_01: quality food and it's always going to be a lot of money and drinking and the whole thing and she's like but she does it anyway sometimes just to see the friend and I said why don't you have an alternate like just come up with a well how about this not that but how about this you know but that would be a really good way to start you know as a matter of just habit thinking of things that are alternates and just telling them straight up I love you guys.
52:17
SPEAKER_01: And that thing, just not my deal.
52:20
SPEAKER_01: Not going to, but let's do something else.
52:23
SPEAKER_01: Right.
52:23
SPEAKER_01: So that you're telling me then that this is still going to happen when I'm in my seventies.
52:29
SPEAKER_01: Probably.
52:30
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
52:30
SPEAKER_01: People will keep inviting you.
52:32
SPEAKER_01: Great news.
52:34
SPEAKER_01: And just tell them polite, diplomatic, but tell them what's so.
52:40
SPEAKER_01: You don't want them to think, oh, well, that Tina, she just doesn't want to do anything anymore.
52:45
SPEAKER_01: Not true.
52:46
SPEAKER_01: Or she doesn't want to hang out with us anymore.
52:50
SPEAKER_01: Not true.
52:52
SPEAKER_01: Right.
52:52
SPEAKER_01: And even if it's true that I don't want to go out to shows, come to my house or let me come to your house.
52:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I get that.
52:58
SPEAKER_01: That's actually really good advice.
53:00
UNKNOWN: Yeah.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like that.
53:02
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
53:03
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so we're coming close to all my questions.
53:06
SPEAKER_01: So if there's anything you want me to ask you, you let me know.
53:09
SPEAKER_01: How do you approach like addressing body image concerns?
53:14
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm pretty sure like most women put weight on during menopause.
53:19
SPEAKER_01: And then even if they are lucky enough to lose it, they are dealing with a whole new body image.
53:27
SPEAKER_01: shape and size and whatever comes with that, right?
53:31
SPEAKER_01: So how do you address that?
53:32
SPEAKER_01: How do you help them cope with that?
53:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, everyone's different, first of all.
53:37
SPEAKER_01: There's no cookie cutter.
53:38
SPEAKER_01: Everyone has a different journey in this.
53:43
SPEAKER_01: I think the first thing is just to understand, not even understand, be aware of how much pressure gets put on us by our culture.
53:57
SPEAKER_01: and marketing messages.
53:59
SPEAKER_01: And just to bring awareness to that is huge.
54:05
SPEAKER_01: When I was five years old, I thought I was supposed to look like these pretty ladies on the covers of magazines.
54:12
SPEAKER_01: And you open up the magazine, they're wearing these amazing clothes, but they're full-grown women.
54:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what I was thinking.
54:18
SPEAKER_01: You had no options, right?
54:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but that's just what I thought.
54:24
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to be beautiful like these ladies.
54:27
SPEAKER_01: But I was five years old, so like I said, it didn't make any sense.
54:30
SPEAKER_01: But it also doesn't make any sense for grown women to be looking at other people and trying to compare themselves to them.
54:40
SPEAKER_01: No, no.
54:42
SPEAKER_01: Plus, whatever we're seeing, like celebrities, famous people, anybody in a magazine.
54:48
SPEAKER_01: It's not real.
54:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they don't really look like that, or they don't look like that all the time, for sure.
54:55
SPEAKER_01: So we have to be aware of how much we're comparing ourselves to other people.
55:02
SPEAKER_01: And those examples we're comparing ourselves to are not even real or realistic, and why bother, right?
55:11
SPEAKER_01: So Anyway, that's the first thing.
55:14
SPEAKER_01: Just bring your awareness to what kind of pressures you're putting yourself, you know, under.
55:19
SPEAKER_01: Like, why should I look like this person?
55:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so-and-so looks amazing at that age, but what's that got to do with my life?
55:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, and also, too, like, when I was in my 20s, sure, I looked like that.
55:33
SPEAKER_01: I was, you know, thin.
55:34
SPEAKER_01: I was beautiful.
55:35
SPEAKER_01: But now, you know, you look at yourself, but I want to look the way I did when I was in my 20s.
55:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
55:41
SPEAKER_01: Right?
55:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, you just said it.
55:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the beauty thing, I think really we've done ourselves a disservice when we start thinking of our culture's concept of what beautiful is.
55:53
SPEAKER_01: I mean, oh my gosh, that is so out of whack, right?
55:57
SPEAKER_01: I think it's just important to, and that is another reason to tap into our intuition, right?
56:04
SPEAKER_01: and when we start treating ourselves better and we can think more clearly and we allow ourselves to become less stressed, we actually do have a better sense of our own self-worth, our self-love, self-acceptance, and I think it's just, now I'm not saying you shouldn't care about how you look or want to look or feel a certain way, but do it for you, right?
56:31
SPEAKER_01: Like if women go get procedures at the dermatologist's office, I'm not going to judge.
56:36
SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
56:38
SPEAKER_01: As long as they're doing it for them and they don't have some crazy, you know, body dysmorphia.
56:43
SPEAKER_01: You know, that's always a thing.
56:45
SPEAKER_01: People who think they're something, you know, really ugly or unflattering or whatever, and they're not, you know, or there's just no reason for them to think that.
56:55
SPEAKER_01: It's just ridiculous.
56:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's funny when you say that.
56:59
SPEAKER_01: I saw a quote just yesterday and it was, you know, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
57:06
SPEAKER_01: And then right underneath the quote was, but I have to remember I am the beholder.
57:11
SPEAKER_01: Right.
57:12
SPEAKER_01: And I thought, oh, my God, that is so true.
57:14
SPEAKER_01: Right.
57:15
SPEAKER_01: If I look at myself and I feel like I look beautiful, then that's all that needs.
57:22
SPEAKER_01: That's all I need.
57:23
SPEAKER_01: Right.
57:24
SPEAKER_01: You know, when I look at you or I look at any other person in the world.
57:28
SPEAKER_01: Right.
57:28
SPEAKER_01: They're they're beautiful the way they are in one way or another.
57:32
SPEAKER_01: Now, don't get me wrong.
57:34
SPEAKER_01: I have said, you know, that is not a very nice looking person.
57:37
UNKNOWN: Right.
57:38
SPEAKER_01: But usually, usually it's because when they open their mouth, the words that come out and the tones that come out, I don't like that.
57:46
SPEAKER_01: Right.
57:47
SPEAKER_01: Right.
57:47
SPEAKER_01: They're mean and they're nasty.
57:49
SPEAKER_01: And I think, why?
57:50
SPEAKER_01: Why do you have to be so mean and nasty now that we could start a whole new conversation on that?
57:55
SPEAKER_01: But, you know, that that's kind of the reality.
57:57
SPEAKER_01: Right.
57:58
SPEAKER_01: And I think if we remember that, you know, I am beautiful because of who I am.
58:03
SPEAKER_01: That's what's important.
58:04
UNKNOWN: Right.
58:05
SPEAKER_01: I think some people, they get caught up.
58:07
SPEAKER_01: I remember my entire first part of my life was being concerned about what other people thought of me.
58:13
SPEAKER_01: especially judging me, how I looked.
58:16
SPEAKER_01: You know, if I wasn't wearing the right size of clothing or my hair wasn't a certain way or what, I don't even know, right?
58:22
SPEAKER_01: So I was concerned about other people's opinions of me.
58:25
SPEAKER_01: But the truth of the matter is, other people are usually just more concerned about themselves.
58:29
SPEAKER_01: They're not even thinking about me.
58:31
SPEAKER_01: That's number one.
58:32
SPEAKER_01: Number two, does it matter?
58:34
SPEAKER_01: And number three is, I think what true beauty is, when people...
58:43
SPEAKER_01: If you're concerned about people thinking or judging your looks or whatever it is, just remember that people will always remember the way you make them feel.
58:54
SPEAKER_01: They'll always remember that about you.
58:58
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh yeah, that person was really nice, so they really helped me.
59:02
SPEAKER_01: They're not going to go, oh, well, that person, shoot, those shoes and that purse.
59:06
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't think so.
59:07
SPEAKER_01: No, no.
59:08
SPEAKER_01: They're not going to even notice that.
59:10
SPEAKER_01: It's how, what you did, who you were, you know, as a person.
59:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
59:14
SPEAKER_01: That's really what's important.
59:16
SPEAKER_01: That's what they're going to, I mean, they're going to remember you because of how they, of how you made them feel.
59:21
SPEAKER_01: Right.
59:21
SPEAKER_01: Right.
59:22
SPEAKER_01: And they're going to, when they see you again, they're going to go, oh yeah, I like her.
59:25
SPEAKER_01: Right.
59:25
SPEAKER_01: But they're not going to, they're not going to say, oh, I like her because she's beautiful.
59:29
SPEAKER_01: I like her because she made me feel like I'd As a matter of fact, you probably don't want to be a person, if you just happen to be an extremely attractive person, to me that would almost be a little crazy making because wouldn't you kind of question why people like you?
59:52
SPEAKER_01: Did they like me for what's going on here?
59:55
SPEAKER_01: Or do they really like me as a person?
59:57
SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't that just drive you crazy?
59:58
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I think it's okay that we don't all look like Barbie dolls.
1:00:03
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
1:00:04
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_01: Then you know, then you don't have to be insecure about questioning people's motives or distrusting.
1:00:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, why are they hanging around me?
1:00:12
SPEAKER_01: Why does that guy want to go out with me?
1:00:14
SPEAKER_01: You know?
1:00:14
SPEAKER_01: Right.
1:00:15
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
1:00:16
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
1:00:16
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_01: I think we had a wicked conversation today.
1:00:21
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if we touched on everything that you do.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_01: Right.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_01: I'll ask you one more question so that we do end on your on what you do.
1:00:30
SPEAKER_01: What role does self-care play in enhancing confidence for women over 40?
1:00:34
SPEAKER_01: And what are some self-care practices you recommend?
1:00:37
SPEAKER_01: Oh, boy.
1:00:38
SPEAKER_01: I know this is going to sound a little boring, but I say get better sleep.
1:00:45
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of times we, oops, we stayed up too late because we were watching that show.
1:00:51
SPEAKER_01: And then, oh yeah, okay, the alarm's going to go off in the morning whenever it's going to go off.
1:00:56
SPEAKER_01: I would say just pay attention to your sleep because sleep is when our bodies actually renew and rejuvenate and take out the trash.
1:01:07
SPEAKER_01: I know that sounds bizarre.
1:01:09
SPEAKER_01: And we also don't want to be eating too close to when we're going to sleep as well.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_01: But sleep can be, good quality sleep can be transformative.
1:01:18
SPEAKER_01: And I think that we take it for granted.
1:01:20
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's that old type A kind of behavior.
1:01:24
SPEAKER_01: You can sleep when you're dead.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_01: But I think self-care, I would say sleep is huge.
1:01:31
SPEAKER_01: And have some kind of another kind of almost magical thing is in the morning, make sure, and this relates to sleep, because you want to get the quality sleep early enough so that you can get up in time to have, I'll just say it's the first hour of the morning.
1:01:48
SPEAKER_01: That's how I was taught by my mentor.
1:01:51
SPEAKER_01: Your first hour of the morning is what they called a planning, thinking, study time.
1:01:55
SPEAKER_01: PTS time is what he used to call it.
1:01:58
SPEAKER_01: So basically, whatever you're doing, if you're going on a walk with your dog, if you're combined with maybe writing in your gratitude journal, combined with maybe reading a page or half a chapter out of a book, maybe one of the classics, you know, Napoleon Hill, some, anyone like that, anything that, you know, engages your your mind and kind of uplifts you.
1:02:29
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you've got a meditation practice in the morning.
1:02:32
SPEAKER_01: But the point is, you don't want to be, I know people who, they wake up or hear the alarm, grab the phone and start scrolling, right?
1:02:41
SPEAKER_01: Messages, social, whatever it is, before they even get out of bed.
1:02:45
SPEAKER_01: That sets your day up for disaster.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_01: Then you're always at the effects of your day.
1:02:50
SPEAKER_01: So that planning, thinking, study time in the morning That is a huge form of self-care and a big success tip for people doing any kind of endeavor.
1:03:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree.
1:03:02
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I did it with this intention, but I don't look at my phone either.
1:03:06
SPEAKER_01: There's a certain amount of things that I have to do right before I will pick up my phone.
1:03:12
SPEAKER_01: And if I don't get to those and I do pick up my phone, I will never get to those things.
1:03:18
SPEAKER_01: And even though they're little things, my day starts when I pick up my phone.
1:03:24
SPEAKER_01: Right.
1:03:24
SPEAKER_01: And so that is a good time.
1:03:26
SPEAKER_01: I do.
1:03:26
SPEAKER_01: I don't really, I'm not very good at meditating.
1:03:29
SPEAKER_01: I, and I know that this is my own, like I don't sit down and actually just do it.
1:03:34
SPEAKER_01: Right.
1:03:34
SPEAKER_01: Cause I always end up falling asleep.
1:03:36
SPEAKER_01: So I know that, you know, it's like, I can't do that now because if I fall asleep now, I won't be getting up until lunchtime.
1:03:43
SPEAKER_01: But yeah.
1:03:43
SPEAKER_01: Well, just taking control of that first, that first part of your day, just taking control, not being at the effect of what other people are, throwing at you, because that's going to be there anyway.
1:03:56
SPEAKER_01: Right?
1:03:56
SPEAKER_01: Just getting control, planning your day.
1:03:58
SPEAKER_01: What am I doing?
1:04:00
SPEAKER_01: What's my most important thing?
1:04:01
SPEAKER_01: Feeding your mind to something good.
1:04:04
SPEAKER_01: Like I said, gratitude journaling is always huge.
1:04:07
SPEAKER_01: You can even do that at night.
1:04:10
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so that's a huge, a huge thing.
1:04:12
SPEAKER_01: It's just that first part of your morning, make sure it's your own.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_01: And you're not put out fires someplace.
1:04:19
SPEAKER_01: And I'm sure like the women that you talk with, especially the women in their 70s, don't have a problem with that change, right?
1:04:25
SPEAKER_01: You'd be surprised.
1:04:26
SPEAKER_01: Really surprised.
1:04:28
SPEAKER_01: Old habits.
1:04:30
SPEAKER_01: I talked to a woman, she is a widow in her 70s.
1:04:33
SPEAKER_01: And she said, Oh, don't tell me not to multitask.
1:04:38
SPEAKER_01: She's still multitasking.
1:04:42
SPEAKER_01: On our phone call, she I could tell she was, I could hear noise in the background.
1:04:48
SPEAKER_01: I could tell she was doing things.
1:04:50
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, that's interesting.
1:04:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:04:54
SPEAKER_01: You know, I was trying to tell her, you know, she's getting better, but she's in the habit of eating while she's watching television, doing treats during meals.
1:05:03
SPEAKER_01: And she lives alone, you know, so.
1:05:05
SPEAKER_01: It's not like she has to do it all at the same time.
1:05:08
SPEAKER_01: But maybe that makes her feel like she's in touch with her old life or something.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_01: But it just kind of cracked me up.
1:05:18
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
1:05:19
SPEAKER_01: That is really funny, actually.
1:05:22
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's not funny because it's kind of sad.
1:05:25
SPEAKER_01: But it's old habits.
1:05:26
SPEAKER_01: It's just our old habits.
1:05:27
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
1:05:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right.
1:05:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, I want to say thank you so much for joining me today.
1:05:31
SPEAKER_01: This has been awesome.
1:05:33
SPEAKER_01: I love these kind of conversations when they go so naturally and organic.
1:05:37
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know I had to throw in some planned questions in there, you know, but we had a great conversation.
1:05:43
SPEAKER_01: So it was really, really great having you.
1:05:45
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
1:05:46
SPEAKER_01: Yes, thanks.
1:05:47
SPEAKER_01: It was so much fun.
1:05:49
SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
1:05:49
SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
1:05:50
SPEAKER_01: I'm glad you enjoyed it.
1:05:51
SPEAKER_01: Confidence in Bloom is a celebration of self-love, a confirmation that even though you may not look like a screen star or a supermodel, they don't even look like that.
1:06:00
SPEAKER_01: You are an amazing, desirable, brilliant, gorgeous, talented woman.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_01: We offer unconditional love to our partners, our children, our extended family, even our pets.
1:06:09
SPEAKER_01: It's high time we got out of our own way and learn to unconditionally love ourselves.
1:06:14
SPEAKER_01: Info Bloom Styling and Coaching offers an online course combined with one-on-one coaching to build confidence, personal branding, and creating your signature fashion look.
1:06:24
SPEAKER_01: Chic definitely does come in every shape, so if you want something to believe in, start with yourself.
1:06:30
SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to be a guest here on Confidence in Bloom, contact me through Instagram at infobloomstyling.com.
1:06:36
SPEAKER_01: Thanks
1:06:43
SPEAKER_00: for listening.
1:06:44
SPEAKER_00: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
1:06:47
SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course, on DivasThatCare.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.