Latest / DA CREW Podcast / __BONUS SHOW___ DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ HOST LATONYA MICHELLE LITTLEJOHN

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__BONUS SHOW___ DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ HOST LATONYA MICHELLE LITTLEJOHN · DA CREW Podcast

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monthday and fourth Friday of each Monthy, it's she that you don't want to
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miss. Be fine, good evening, good evening, good evening, and
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thank you for joining me on another episode of the Late but Not Denied the
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podcast. This is show number fourteen for me, so I'm happy to have
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you here. Tonight. I'll be discussing living with Hydrocephilus. But before I
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start, I have to go to the Lord in prayer. Heavenly Father,
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I come before you right now, in the most humblest way that I know
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how, askin you to be in the midst of this show tonight, let
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us say what you would need us to say, and let the ears and
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the doors receive what they need to receive. In Jesus name, I pray.
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A hydrocephalus is a build up a fluid in the cavities deep within the
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brain. The extra fluid puts pressure on the brain and can cause brain damage.
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It's most common in infants and older adults. Here to share her story
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with me is none other than Miss Nidget Scott. Nidget, you're there,
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Yes, I am. How are you, ma'am? Wonderful sweetie? How
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are you? Blessed and favorite? Blessed and favorite? So let's talk about
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it. Let's talk about it. Hydrocephalus so fewer than two hundred thousand US
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cases per year and it's treatable by a medical professional. Requires a medical diagnosis,
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lap tests or image and always required, and it does need emergency care.
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For me. I was born with hydrocephalus as well as spina bifita.
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I have a shunt, a b A shunt. Excuse me. I have
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a b A shunt, which is a shunt this place in the brain to
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drain the excess fluid off. But mine comes behind my ear and it drains
4:40
into a heart valve, not with you have the VP shunt, correct,
4:46
Yeah, I have the VP shunt and mine starts at the top and drains
4:50
all the way down to my stomach. Okay. It says hydrocephalus is characteriz
5:00
yes by head enlargement in infants, adults and older children experience headaches, impaired
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vision, cognitive difficulties, loss of coordination, and incontinence. It says,
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you know that all of that can happen plus some more more. Let's talk
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about how hydrocephilis has affected you, uh well, from birth. I had
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mine up until I want to say I was probably eleven, maybe twelve,
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anywhen that age range when I got when I had my first revision as a
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kid, and they said that that was very rare because it's supposed to grow
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with you, and so I was supposed to have it way before I had
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it, which is good, but in some ways it wasn't. But after
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I had my revision, I basically had another one done a year later because
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it was on this side and they did the revision put it back on this
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side, it got infected, so they had to transfer it to this side
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to my left side, Dude, they explain how it gets infected. No,
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if they did, I was too young to know exactly what it is
6:28
that happened. I don't know if it happened during surgery or if it happened
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just in general because of you know things happened in surgeries, you know,
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infections, blood issues, etc. So I don't think. I don't think
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it was something that they probably could really explain. Is just something that just
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happened. Okay, I know I said we wasn't gonna talk about spina biff
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of the until spine biff of the Awareness month since I don't know why not
6:58
together right this this is Hydrocephalus Awareness Month, but they both tie into the
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other side together. I can't talk about one without talking about the right.
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It's like from there we are, we both we both have spina bifida.
7:18
For me, well to go back, I had my shunt placed in shortly
7:24
after birth. As far as I can remember, I've never had a revision.
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My mom said that when I was like three or four years old,
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I used to have this head banging thing that I would I would, and
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she never knew why. And so you know, I grew out of it.
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You know it's God, Thank God, because you imagine me forty four
7:49
years oh walking around. Try cut that out right. Hydrocephalus is not I
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inherited. However you can get it. You don't have to be born with
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hydrocyphalus. Any type of head injury, car accident, anything that misses with
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the brain and the fluid around it can cause hydrocyphalis. Yep, exactly,
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So it's not inherited. But my brother who also has spini beenfita, my
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biological brother he as well, So okay, it just all ties in.
8:35
I think it was spina befita. Do you ever notice your shut No?
8:43
Not not unless I'm intentionally looking at my neck or something like that. I
8:48
don't really notice it. The fear is always when you have a headache,
8:54
then you wanted if this is a sign of something is wrong, or you
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know it was just a regular headache. You know what black diamond is asking
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how does it affect your pregnancy? If at all? I do have a
9:16
son. I he's twenty eight, so I forgive me if I don't remember
9:22
everything, but I don't recall ever having a moment where my hydrocephilis was an
9:31
issue. However, they did want to run tests to see if he would
9:35
be born with the spinning a bit, but the where they do the the
9:43
needle in your stomach and take the fluid from around the baby and things like
9:48
that. But I didn't. I didn't want them to do that, and
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so they didn't do it because they told me, you know that had he
9:58
been been born with find a bit of it, there wouldn't have been anything
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that they could do about it until he was actually born. So they wasn't
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doing, you know, the surgeries in utero and things of that nature.
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But by the grace of God, Deante's perfect fine, thank you. You
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know, I couldn't. I couldn't ask for a better pregnancy. All the
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issues I had, I gave him to myself. Just eating and gaining weight
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is what I did. But but for me, hydruss sephilis it's a pain.
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I have moments where I'm up for three and four days at a time
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without sleep and fia with it. The neurologist said, yeah, the neurologist
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says that it sends off signals that your brain has had wrists, and so
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I'm up three and four days at a time just like it's wired up,
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you know, just wired up and ready to go. But but then when
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the sleep hits me, it's it's like I go into like our hibernation,
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almost like nobody hears from me. I go to sleep, keep I don't
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talk to nobody. I barely respond to text messages. But how does how
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do your symphilis affect your day to day life? You know? I find
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that interesting? It really doesn't. I mean it did growing up. Uh,
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maybe the first time I realized I had a shunk was that headache.
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Because the headache is like it's like a migraine ten times right, It's just
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the most excruciating head pain you could ever have and toler all and nothing works
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for it. But on the day to day it doesn't really bother me too
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much other than heat. Now I know that I can't tolerate being out in
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the sun a lot. I can't tolerate heat because it seems to make my
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head hurt a lot more. Right, So when I get in the heat
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and I feel myself getting hot, I have to get somewhere where it's cool
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else my body temper takes a minute to cool down because my body is like
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on fire. But other than that, on a daily it doesn't really affect
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me in a lot of ways. So for me, I used to praise
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dance at church and we would do all these turns and twists and arms going
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up, and for some reason or another where my shunt is, I would
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always get pain right there, to the point where I couldn't turn my head
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oh much because of the pain. But I never let that stop me from
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praise God in the way that you know exactly, hello, I mean sill
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and I was up there giving God is glory. But because I mean,
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without him, I'm nothing, so exactly exactly, you know, I'm cracky
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enough to say with him, I'm a little bit of everything. So but
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King's Daughter's right here, King's daughters. That's it. That's it. That's
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it. But it's it's speaking of the spina biffita part of it all.
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I have yet to find out how they connect. But for me, I'm
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about to put our little business out here on front Street. So so you're
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gonna maybe put some of mine out there, too, Is that what you
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born? Don't don't feel pressure, Please, don't feel pressure. But I
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mean I I tried to use my platform as a teaching tool as well,
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so people they can't understand what they don't know. And so with that said,
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I was born with spina bifida. I was told that I wouldn't live
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past the age of nine and if I did that, I would be in
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a vegetative state. It was also said that I couldn't have children. I
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got pregnant. And the funny thing about that, when I got pregnant,
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I ain't believe it. Sick as a dog to test everything. Still didn't
15:03
believe it. I went to the doctors, they did a blood test.
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I'm still telling them people, they're crazy, because you know, I've been
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told so right. It wasn't until I started feeling movement that I was like,
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oh, shoot, I might be pregnant. You know, look,
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your poor nephew was born to a teenage mom. He got with that.
15:39
But you know, again, God is great. I I had to wear
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a baby diaper up until third grade, and back in those times, the
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baby diapers had that little plastic you know how like when walking, So of
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course, yeah, yeah, and I was the most picked throne person in
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elementary school period wow because of that. And at that particular time, I
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didn't know that there was something wrong with me. I just you know that
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that was my normal, so, you know, for people to laugh at
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the way I walk and you know, laughing joke because I had accidents and
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this show every day and happened to bring extra pairs of clothes to school because
16:47
you know, yeah, right, accidents on top of accidents, and then
16:55
oftentimes being sent home because I don't ran out of clothes all before the end
17:00
of the school day. Yeah, but it has been rough. But to
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answer that question, if there are different types of hydrocephalus, no, there's
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just one. Yeah, there's just one, and it is only treatable surgery.
17:27
Yeah, it's not it's not different types of hydrocephilis. But it's definitely
17:30
different types of shunts. And I didn't even know that myself because I thought
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everybody there's I initially thought I had a VP shunt until I had to go
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and get a CT scan, ok, and they told me you can go
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in how And then also I can feel it like right here, so they
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showed me on the little scans or whatnot where it was. And so now
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every time I have heartburn, I'm like, oh my god, I'm dying.
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The shut killing me because I've never had right, I've never had the
18:14
headaches. You know how how some people get the headaches with dricepls. I
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never had the glass, but I do get black heartburns and heart palpitations and
18:26
things like that. And so I'm on and then to find out that I
18:30
have congestion heart failures, so they put me on medicine for that. And
18:37
right, I'm like, Okay, this little heart of mine, we're gonna
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keep trucking. You're shine, how right, girl, I'm getting me to
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sing in this little light of my taking the church. But for you,
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how how has spin the Aspect affected you? I thought we were gonna talk
19:08
about that this month. We're talking about bout them that's supposed to be tmail.
19:22
I mean they go hand in hand lock in Oh oh my goodness,
19:26
well spent that girl like Robbing and Batman. Seriously? Right, really,
19:37
who I'm trying to figure out how you were saying that you wonder how spine
19:42
bent of the and how your syphilis goes together. And I'm thinking it's because
19:47
of the spinal fluid that we have going on for my backs on up to
19:51
the brain. It's like, I think it's all of that. It's just
19:53
that that's connected. Yeah, I think it's all kind of connected. And
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when you're born with that much fluid in your head, it's gotta be released
20:03
some kind of way. And we was born too much of it. So
20:07
sponderment for the Well, we already discussed this on our last show, but
20:11
in case somebody missed it, sponder be for the It's it's a day to
20:19
day, you know. I have good days with it. I have not
20:22
so good days with it. I have happy days with it. I have
20:27
days where I'm like, well, it is what it is. Lord.
20:30
I think my struggle became when I was in eighth grade in Virginia. That's
20:37
when my struggle became because in New York I didn't I'm telling you, I
20:41
really didn't think I had anything wrong with me. I was I was good.
20:47
I didn't have no problem making friends. I didn't have no problem interacting
20:49
with with guys. I didn't have any issues with that. So it was
20:53
just like when I moved to Virginia, it was like, Okay, well,
20:57
what is really wrong with me was happening right? Because I never really
21:02
noticed it. I mean, my mom bought me books on spinder bed for
21:06
that. She brought me books on hydrocephilist because she was a nurse. She
21:10
so she wanted me to be as educated about what I'm dealing with as I
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could be. I didn't want to read those books. Not at that time.
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I was like, ain't that wrong with me? And I put a
21:18
book on the shelf because they's nothing wrong with me. I don't know what
21:22
you're talking about. But as I've gotten older, I've had to learn things
21:29
about what I should have already known about myself, because like me and you
21:33
already discussed off camera, I didn't realize this was brain surgery. You would
21:38
think I would have, you know, thought, oh okay, yeah,
21:41
that is going in my head. But I didn't put two and two together
21:45
that I had some type of brain surgery. It's like what And to take
21:49
it a step further to find out they don't drill the hole in your brain
21:53
to tell it to put this shut in. It's wild to me. And
22:03
it's amazing that it's not as many stitches going down your body as you would
22:08
think, because, like I said, mine goes from here, and I
22:11
might have a stitch right here and a stitch down here in my stomach,
22:15
but nothing else in between. So how are you getting this tube all the
22:19
way down to my stomach from my head. You know what I'm saying,
22:25
right, So it's it's it's wild how God allows people to do things because
22:33
he has to give you the knowledge to do that. Because I'm just like,
22:34
wow, that is just wild. So no, I mean, it's
22:40
just you have to take it day by day. I mean, I'm not
22:44
gonna say I don't have moments of depression. I don't have moments of feeling
22:48
down about why me? And then you know, God tells you why not
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you? And I'm like, well that doesn't answer the question Lord, why
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me? Right? But yeah, I mean it is what it is.
23:04
I mean, I'm thankful that I have you in my life because growing up,
23:07
I didn't have anybody that has fundamentuals, So I didn't have anybody that
23:11
could relate if people heard the conversations we have sometimes how what you say?
23:22
But how does it compared to dementia alzhemas? I don't know how it's compared,
23:30
although I have heard doctors say that we would be more successible to did
23:38
I say that, right, We can get it. We can get dementia
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or Alzheimer's a little more faster than somebody without hydrocephilus. Oh I didn't even
23:49
realize that. And that's and and Alzheimer's is in my family, my biological
23:55
my my biological grandmother. So thank you for that information. Yeah, I'm
24:00
already forgetting stuff as is. And every time I forget something that made me
24:04
want to cry because I'm like, oh lord, he get ready to get
24:08
the all time walk in the kitchen like Okay, what did I come in
24:14
here for. No, that's just old age, sweetie day. I do
24:17
that. We do that. It's just don't know. We ain't claiming that
24:18
all the time. Okay, we're not doing that. Oh no, no,
24:22
no, no, no, definitely not. But my heart does go
24:26
out to people living with that because I oftentimes feel like they are are trapped
24:36
inside of themselves and it's almost like wanting to break free, but you can't,
24:45
like exactly, you're just sitting there existing. Yeah, definitely, So
24:52
again my heart goes out to anybody dealing with dementia Alzheimer's. There's been a
25:00
commercial coming on TV lately about Alzheimer's irritability where people are getting angry with their
25:11
Alzheimer's where the commercial says something along the lines of this, this hand used
25:18
to cradle me, and you know, do this sting and and now it's
25:23
aggressive and that's where it was aggressive Alzheimer's. But and there's no cure for
25:32
it. So you know, me and Deante often uh joke about when I
25:40
get older, and you know, he's always telling me that, well,
25:48
mamma, you're not going to a nursing home. And I'm like, well,
25:49
son, I'm only sixteen years older than you. If I go,
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you're going with me. So but have informative Oh I can't read, I'm
26:02
sorry, offer a virtual support group one we might need to go. We
26:15
are a part well, I don't know if you still are, but I
26:18
am a part of some virtual support groups. However, I don't participate in
26:29
them as much as I just go there seeking knowledge because some people, for
26:36
whatever reason, if your spine a bit of a hydro syphilis isn't affecting you
26:41
and the way that it affects them, then they think you don't have it.
26:45
So, you know, and who has time to argue with people about
26:51
what I'm dealing with? Right? So yeah, yeah, I mean I
26:55
joined some groups when we first started Facebook and after I first got on Facebook.
27:00
But like you said, I just get on there from time to time.
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I'm not really an art because how are you gonna tell me I don't
27:06
have something I know I'm living with every day just because it doesn't fit your
27:10
mold of what it's supposed to be Like, that's that's that's not right.
27:14
You know. I know what I have. I know what I'm living with,
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So how are you gonna tell me? But it's no need to go
27:21
back and forth with and I don't because I'm in their own little world.
27:29
I feel like when they argue with you like that, they're not comfortable with
27:34
having to deal with however they have it, like you know, I don't.
27:41
I I have the faith the size of a mustard seed. I do
27:48
believe that God can cure all things. I feel like he could say,
27:52
spind a bit of it away from me, if he's so chose to exact.
27:56
However, I will say that he's using me and you as a teaching
28:03
tool to show people that, you know, even with our little spind a
28:08
bit of the sister. You know. I don't know if Maddie has hydrocephilist
28:14
or not, but I know her mom looks to us to be able to
28:22
know you know what her daughter's future is gonna look like in in some way.
28:29
So what would you say to somebody like for me growing up, my
28:37
mom never told me I had spin a bit. She never told me I
28:40
had a disability. All I got was no running, don't hit your head,
28:47
and you know things like that to do not list. And I never
28:56
see beyond me, beyond me, but I remember doing it. I remember
29:08
like literally hitting my head against the wrong and I don't I don't know,
29:15
I don't know. Who are you gonna ask me? I'm sorry, see
29:25
you laughing to be dealing with the spine a bit of the and the hydrocephalus
29:30
in the way that we do. What advice would you give to someone who
29:36
may have a child that was born in that way and they don't know where
29:40
to turn because you know, some of these parents have never even heard of
29:42
spin a bit of the, let alone hydrocephalus. So what advice would you
29:48
give to them abund them learning what the child is dealing with? Okay,
29:57
well, now for young for young kids, you know, babies on up
30:03
to about eighteen years old, they at least have spine a bit. For
30:06
the clinics in most hospitals now after you turn eighteen, you have to find
30:11
for yourself basically, but I would definitely tell you to get with a clinic
30:17
that has spin a bit for the related doctors they can get. They can
30:22
direct you to neurosurgeons, they can direct you to eurologists, they can direct
30:27
you to anybody that you know you need to help that child get on track.
30:32
And I don't want you to get too nervous when your child says or
30:37
my head hurts, or you know what I'm saying, But definitely pay attention
30:42
to it, because my mom would pay attention and see if she gave me
30:48
talent or how long, you know, if it worked, or if it
30:51
didn't work, you know, or if I have a fever, or if
30:55
the child is you know, throwing up, you know, anything like that,
31:00
then you definitely want to make sure you get the child to the emergency
31:03
room. But definitely connect with a urologists and neurosurgeons. Those are definitely the
31:10
best bet for you to get in contact with dealing with sponti infat and hydrocephilis
31:15
because the neurosurgeon is going to keep watch of not only your sponti infida,
31:19
but also your shunt, so it'll keep you know, keep it on track.
31:26
So if you have an issues, they know how to, you know,
31:29
do what they need to do right away. And I also want to
31:33
say, you know, the shunts they fail. You know, I've had
31:41
mine since nineteen seventy nine and I have as far as I can remember,
31:48
I've never had to have a revision. I've never had to have anything done
31:53
to it. But I'm reading where shunt malfunctions are several. Shunt malfunctions also
32:04
referred to as shunt failure as a partial or complete blockage obstruction of the shunt
32:09
that causes it to function intermediately or not at all. And what I do
32:15
know is that when dealing with shunt malfunction, you have to watch out for
32:24
double vision, throwing up, growing up, nausea, yeah yeah, not
32:36
being you know, steady fable, and things of that nature. Yeah.
32:40
Yeah, I've had actually I've actually, if you count from birth to now,
32:45
I've actually had four visions. I've had actually four of them, and
32:52
pretty much this is the reason why I have decided to keep my head like
32:55
this, because I'm always afraid if I get a new look and I liked
33:00
my look and it shouldn't want to act crazy. Then i gotta cut my
33:02
health and then I'm gonna be mad. I'm gonna be like, no,
33:06
I don't want to do that, you know. So I've decided that at
33:08
least if it's if it's gonna happen, I'm already prepared for it. But
33:13
I've already spoken to a doctor and he said the last one that I had
33:15
was like in early nineties, and he said, if you haven't had one
33:20
since then, he said, you should be fine. So, you know,
33:22
but I don't hate anything could happen. I'm just very cautious about anything
33:29
happening right away. So yeah, but definitely keep watching those things, those
33:34
symptoms, like you said, definitely, and your child is gonna be fine,
33:39
is gonna be fine. It might have some learning disabilities at first,
33:44
but if you enco child to you know, to to try. Because the
33:50
funny thing is I test it out of a special education for like math,
33:55
English, and when we when we were we were in New York History read.
34:00
So I didn't do the special classes for those classes. I was in
34:05
regular ag you know, regular education. So the child can't test out for
34:10
those classes. They don't have to permanently be in special education. But they
34:16
are. I think I was supposed to be. There's definitely some learning curves.
34:27
I think I was supposed to be in special education because I received information
34:31
in a different way than most people do. And it's to a point where
34:37
sometimes it scares me to step out and try new things because of how I
34:45
learned. Stuff like math. Math is up to them, all of us.
34:51
God did not create math. He definitely didn't create it for he really
34:55
didn't, right, And so you know, I've always always always struggled,
35:05
Right, I've always struggled with math. And just like be patient with your
35:12
child if they if they're telling you they don't understand something, they more than
35:19
likely don't understand. You know, I have to I'm a visual I have
35:25
to see things. I have to write things down. I I can't just
35:32
you know, I got a photographic memory. I can look at something and
35:37
you know it is what it is. But as far as like trying to
35:39
remember something of importance in men Rico joke all the time. I can remember
35:46
some non important stuff like that, but if there's something relatable that I need
35:52
to that I needed to know that I need to remember, it slips my
35:58
mind every time, and I don't yeah, I don't. Yeah, I
36:02
process things differently, and I don't you know, It's been a wildlife type
36:08
of person. I'm a hands on type of person. If I'm gonna learn
36:12
something, I gotta do it, and it's gotta be repetitiously because if I
36:16
don't, it's not gonna pick up right. And the crazy part is talking
36:21
about math. Let's go, let's back track talking about math. How did
36:24
I test out of the special air class? But I'm not good with math.
36:29
I don't know how that happened. But God, because because ain't no
36:31
way I could have tested out for no math. I don't do numbers.
36:38
I'm not I don't know. I don't know the connection. I don't know
36:43
the connection with the spiny bit for the the hydrocephalis numbers and math. Yeah.
36:50
Yeah, because it's a lot of us that struggle with it, like
36:52
every teacher that I've ever had, a lot of us. I mean it's
36:59
not it's it's almost like there's just as many of us community wise, they
37:06
have a hard time with math versus you know, math is just I mean,
37:13
if it goes beyond adding and multiplying, I think we're doing too much
37:16
when we're adding letters and please don't like where am I ever us? But
37:30
I don't know. I don't recall using it right now. Nonetheless, I
37:38
am very appreciative of the teachers that I've had that fount it not robbery to
37:47
to help me instead of you know, because some teachers, if you're in
37:52
a group setting, once they moved forward with their students. If you can't
37:58
keep up, you just left behind. And I am so thankful that every
38:02
teacher I've had, you know, yeah, until the day I quit.
38:07
I I dropped out of school after I had my son, one because I
38:14
wasn't leaving in with nobody. Yeah. Two, I got tired of being
38:19
picked on, like you know again, the accidents and all of that,
38:27
and people picking at me for the way that I walked. Me just learning
38:32
a few years ago that one of my legs is slightly longer than the other
38:37
and that has something to do with the walk as well as the curvature of
38:44
the spine. But you know, feel the same way about mine. I
38:49
feel like one of mine is longer than the other mine now for me,
38:55
I don't know if it's because of the weight game or whatever, but it's
38:59
more noticeable now for me wow than it ever has been. And you know,
39:07
but minus minus. When I'm in a wheelchair, it's like one of
39:12
the legs just will not sit up high. So like if I'm going down
39:17
something, it'll drag. It just drag. Like, no, we don't
39:21
feel like doing that today. We're just gonna drag because the other food is
39:24
fine. Right, I'm like, I'm gonna need to get so I have
39:27
almost positioned myself for my leg to not hit the ground so so it won't
39:32
drag. Sorry, Patricia suggestion. So I mean, yeah, need to
39:45
know the area of what? Yeah, Patrici says she needed to know the
39:52
area. I don't mind explaining. I'm an open book. Yeah, I'm
39:57
trying to figure out what's what's the area too? Yeah. I try to
40:02
be an open book as best as I can be. And I guess that's
40:06
why you were taking me out of my own comfort, ma'am how do your
40:12
comfort? Thank you for it? Yes, Oprah, I thank you.
40:15
But here's the thing, Sabada took me out of mind. I know,
40:19
so you so I felt like how only I had to pay forward? Yeah,
40:23
I had to pay for because I mean I never in a million years
40:30
thought that I would be doing podcasting. Oh, she was responding about the
40:37
math. What area of math? It's hard for me, all of it,
40:40
all of it. I ow of it, all of it. I
40:46
was an adult still trying to learn multiplication and counting by you know, certain
40:57
numbers, counting, you know. I think, oh, that's a whole
41:05
nother bully. I think that's where it was, the division part. And
41:10
then he wanted to put a pre algebra with letters, and I'm like,
41:15
no, those ain't supposed to be there. They ain't to go together.
41:21
And yet is why. That is why I said that I'm thankful for my
41:28
husband's brothers, because the one that I had on the other day, like
41:34
a Walton math book, and you know, I couldn't. I could only
41:39
go so far with Dante and and there's you know, doing math. Yeah,
41:45
and anytime they needed help or whatever, let's get them on the phone,
41:49
because yes, that's called uncle. Let me see you, right,
41:53
I want to see you succeed. But I can't guess. So and now
42:00
I'm spelling. I can spell all day, all day, sleep whatever,
42:05
but man, yeah, and I wanna go. I want to go as
42:14
far as saying that I wish people would treat they would teach their children to
42:20
be a little more kinder. Two people with disabilities definitely, even themselves become
42:30
a little more kinder. We don't like to be stared at. We're no
42:36
different from the next person. We may have to just do things in a
42:40
different way, but nonetheless we have I don't have no problems with responding to
42:50
anything of that matter. You know what I'm saying, Ask me, don't
42:52
stare just ask me. That's why I like when we When I was in
42:57
the church, I used to work with uh not kinder kindergarteners, and it
43:05
helped them to learn, Yes, this is miss Deed. Yes she has
43:08
a disability. Yes she's in the wheelchair, but you know, she's just
43:13
like you. And one of the parents actually came up to me and said,
43:17
I am so glad you were teaching my child because my child saw somebody
43:22
at the store in the wheelchair, was like, oh, they're in a
43:24
in a chair like Miss Deed and went on about their life. Whereas they
43:30
would have probably if they never encountered it. They they don't know how to
43:34
respond right, And you know again, you know, Rico says there's nothing
43:42
wrong with asking for help. It. There is nothing wrong with asking for
43:47
help, but sometimes it's the people that sign up to help you. Some
43:54
of them are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Some people want to
44:00
help you for me to be seen the cloud, you know, they want
44:06
to pat on the back. They got to record themselves helping you. And
44:09
then I mean and that, you know, dealing with people like that,
44:14
it makes it hard to want to reach out for help. And you get
44:17
the mentality of I can do it on my own, yea, whereas you
44:22
know, certain things we do need help with that we can't you know,
44:29
And I don't have no problem asking help. But if on the on the
44:32
other coin is wait for me to ask if I need help, don't assume
44:37
I need help. I don't like if people come up behind my wheelchair and
44:40
you need me to push, you know, if I need you to try
44:43
to push you, I would ask you. You know what I'm saying,
44:45
No, I got this. I've been doing it for this long. I
44:49
can do it by myself, So yeah, gets people at me. Things
44:58
that gets me is people that would ask me why I walked the way I
45:00
do. And I've come a long way, a long way to a long
45:09
way. You ask more so now if it bothers me, like why you
45:17
look like it? But just right, it's my walk bothering you, you
45:27
know. But you can tell when somebody's asking out of genuine concern versus asking
45:37
to be funny. To be was in a wedding. I was in a
45:43
wedding and I never noticed how I walked until I looked on We we sat
45:50
together as a group and watched the video and I saw I dragged my leg
45:57
or whatever, and you know, we were sitting there and it's like people
46:01
were well one person in particular was like, you know, you walking like
46:07
hurt and you like like the shoes hurting your feet and always, but it
46:17
hurt my feelings so bad. And all I to think was you know who
46:22
raised you? Like yeah, yeah, but you know, I just I
46:30
just wish people were a little more kind. Yeah people. I mean I've
46:35
had that. Yeah, I've had that happened to me as well. Where
46:39
an older lady I think I told her the last time, where all the
46:44
ladies was like she had never it was like they had never seen a disabled
46:49
person in this dag On County in the entire life. And I'm guessing they
46:52
didn't I guess, and I was the first one that the Lord decide the
46:55
plot in this county and say, here you go, here's a disabled person
47:00
if she is right. And this old lady was like I was on my
47:05
crutches at the time, and she was like, what's wrong with her?
47:07
So my sister looked, I said, nothing's wrong with her. Yes it
47:13
is, there's something wrong with her. So my sister said, no,
47:15
there's nothing wrong with her. And she just looked at me and then looked
47:21
back and was like, yeah, okay, like seriously, you just gonna
47:25
be rude. Rude. So yeah, we all have those moments where it's
47:34
like what the world right? And then you have to, like me,
47:43
I have to stop and think before I answer sometimes because coming out and so,
47:55
I mean, she she's still she laying down her business. And then
48:07
when somebody want, somebody want to come up with me, and then it's
48:15
like they don't just press it, they just but yeah, all right,
48:24
you know. And that takes me to the last thing that I want to
48:28
say about the things that happen in schools when students start shooting up schools and
48:35
stuff. Don't agree with it at all, but I especially those that are
48:43
definitely mistreat it. I mean, like because you enough, like yeah,
48:51
before they have their breaking point exactly, there should be another way of handling
48:58
it. And as I stated before, I don't agree with it, but
49:02
I get it, yeah, because you get tired. I mean a person
49:07
can only take so much, yeah, exact, a person can only take
49:13
so much before they reach their breaking point. And once they reach their breaking
49:17
point, then would I mean, yeah, who are we to tell them
49:22
how they should handle hurt and abuse? Yeah? Right, yeah, And
49:32
my heart goes out to those that are inflicting pain into themselves because they don't
49:40
you know, it's it's other people that make us feel like it's something wrong
49:45
with us. You know, we don't we don't see anything different, Like
49:51
I don't look at you and see your wheelchair or anything like that. Exactly.
49:58
I understand that you need it, you needed to get from point A
50:01
to point B, but it doesn't exactly. It doesn't mean you know,
50:07
you're less than anybody else, right exactly. But girl, we we we
50:14
at our hour almost and my bad, this conversation will we'll still over internext
50:21
month minute. Girl, But I do want to thank everybody for coming out
50:30
tonight and being a part of the conversation. If you have any questions,
50:37
sure, I just want to say one more thing. I just want to
50:39
say, first of all, I'm so proud of you and I thank you
50:44
for allowing me to be a part of your your platform. I'm glad that
50:47
you have asked me to be a part of your platform. I'm thankful to
50:52
the crew podcast, Miss Angela. Thank y'all for just welcoming me because miss
50:58
miss uh uh, Miss Diamond is beautiful and I feel like she's just one
51:04
of my favorite aunties right about now. So I just thank y'all for just
51:07
you know a lot. I love to be a part of this. Yes,
51:12
I just love, love, love people. So I thank you.
51:15
Thank you, my beautiful sister, for having me again, and you'll be
51:23
back again and again. But seriously, right, I love you. I'm
51:31
proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone to even talk about this,
51:37
because you know, we talk about stuff like this behind the scenes,
51:40
and nobody knows exactly how we feel internally. But I applaud you for at
51:46
least sharing some of that with us tonight. So this has been delayed,
51:55
but not not the podcast where you may be delayed, but what God has
52:00
for you will never be denied unto you. And until next time, God
52:05
bless you. Good Night June here to day for not tonight, every second
52:13
monthday and forth Friday of each Monthy, this is show that you don't want
52:17
to miss.