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"Understanding Narcissists: Can Narcissists Cry? Exploring Their Emotions · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  I am Lee Hammock, the diagnosed self aware narcissist known as
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  mental illness and welcome to another episode of the
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  Narcissist Code. This is your first time I'm
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  sitting in my face or hearing my voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
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  on social media to raise awareness for NPD, get more
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  people in the therapy and also validate the victims, survivors,
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  and thrivers of said disorders. Said toxic people said toxic
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  traits. Today's episode is going to be
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  answering the question Do narcissist cry?
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  I've seen this question in my comment section and I was just
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  like, let me hop on it. Let me, let me, let me respond
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  to that one real quick because I can.
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  I can definitely, definitely do that one.
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  I can definitely do the question Do narcissists cry?
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  Because the answer is should be simple to everybody.
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  It should be yes. Do some narcissists cry?
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  All narcissists don't cry. Y'all.
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  But, like, do a lot of narcissistic cry.
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  Yeah, but widely. Well, I thought narcissists were
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  not human. I thought they were demon spawns
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  from hell. This might come as a shocker to
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  some of y'all. Y'all might not like me when I
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  say this, but y'all Narcissists are people too.
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  Sorry. They are y'all.
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  Narcissists are people too. They're like narcissistic people
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  are human beings who have been hurt, probably hurt in their
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  childhood, you know, super hurt in their childhood, have
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  experienced, experienced some type of trauma because
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  narcissism, the toxic traits, the personality disorder is an
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  experience based disorder. It's not just like you're not
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  born with it, you this is like you, you, you get into it.
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  You know what I mean? It's like it's based on your
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  experiences in your childhood, so in this space right here who
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  you're dealing with, narcissistic people, toxic
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  people, whoever. You understand this is like this
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  is, yeah, it's from the environment.
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  It's environmental. It's an environmental disorder.
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  There's environmental traits. You pick up these traits to
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  survive and whatnot. So you, a lot of narcissists
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  pick up toxic traits and do this.
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  You know, a lot of narcissistic people pick up a lot of toxic
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  traits in order to survive. These are survival.
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  It's a survival mechanism. Like in our childhood or or or
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  in our youth, we probably got, you know, in our childhood or in
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  our youth we got hurt in some way, shape or form.
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  There was some type of pain, some type of hurt that we
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  experienced and we shut down. We stopped wanting to be
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  vulnerable because being vulnerable didn't benefit us.
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  You know, being vulnerable had very little benefit to it.
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  So there is no point in us being vulnerable if there was no if
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  you got us hurt, if vulnerability got us hurt in our
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  childhood, in our youth, that we were afraid of vulnerability.
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  If vulnerability left U.S. Open to hurt and pain and
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  suffering, then we don't want to.
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  Who wants to be vulnerable? If it's going to lead to you
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  being hurt and in pain and suffering, who wants that?
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  Y'all? Honestly, who the hell wants to
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  deal with it? Who?
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  Who? Who on earth wants to deal with
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  pain, suffering, hurt, and pain? I mean pain, suffering, hurt,
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  and it's like just suffering trauma.
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  Who wants to deal with it? No, it's just like I I was
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  vulnerable to someone. I trusted someone and they hurt
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  me. So now I'm angry.
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  And so now I'm now I'm shut down because of it.
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  You see what I'm saying? So it's just like it gets into
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  that space right there, which is like a lot of people don't
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  understand. A lot of people tend not to
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  understand the space. It's just like, look, this is
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  what we are experiencing right here.
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  This is who, like this is we have.
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  We had these childhood experiences that created us and
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  made us who are who we are. So we shut down.
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  So we cried in our youth. We cried as children.
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  But somebody told us like a lot of times you hear the phrase
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  shut up, I'll give you something to cry about or tears of,
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  especially with young boys are just like, you know, tears are,
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  you know, you're crying like a girl, stop being a girl.
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  But, you know, you hear that it's childhood.
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  You hear that in your youth. And this is not me saying, I
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  know some people get like Lee, you know, women crying like a
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  girl. That's so sexist.
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  Like, yo, this is what we grew up with.
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  This is not what I'm just making up in my head.
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  People told us this. We were growing up, growing up,
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  so it contributed to us not wanting to cry because we didn't
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  want to be presented this way as weak or feminine or something
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  like that. So you couldn't cry.
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  I'm using to cry about girls cry, suck it up, don't cry,
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  don't shed no tears, suck them tears up.
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  So you didn't want to shed no tears.
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  So we cried in our youth. We probably cried.
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  Nobody had cried in our teenage years.
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  But as adults, it's kind of like the tears, the the, the, the,
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  the, the desert in our mind is it's like it used to be a lake
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  of tears in our mind, in our subconscious and our body.
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  And it's damn near dried up, you know, And the desert has dried
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  up. But some narcissists absolutely
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  do cry. They have emotions.
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  They get emotional, like somebody passes away that
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  they're close to a a pet, a person, whoever it is, somebody
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  that's close to them that they actually care for, they pass
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  away. They might actually shed some
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  tears. You might see some, you might
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  see some tears. They might try to fight it,
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  fight them to hold them back, whatever.
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  Just like, oh, you see them shaking that.
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  You see them shaking their heads like, oh, I hang on, I don't
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  want to cry right now. Yeah, Yikes.
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  I don't want to. I ain't going to do this right
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  now. You know what I mean?
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  They don't want to cry. You know, You see this space
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  that they they fall into, They they don't want to cry because
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  crying in our youth was presented to us as being weak.
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  Like, if you cry, you are weak. You see what I'm saying?
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  So it's just like you didn't want to cry.
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  Why? Why would I want to cry if I.
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  If I, it's going to be presented to me as weak, you know?
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  So we grow up, we get into these relationships, we start
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  families, we become adults, and we still don't cry.
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  You know, I think it was a shock to my wife when like she was
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  crying in childbirth and crying at the wedding and I was just
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  yo. I felt like I wanted to cry.
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  I could feel it, but then my mind was shut it off.
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  Like narcissists, Some narcissists do want to cry, but
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  their our minds won't let us. The narcissistic part of us, the
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  inner child, our inner child won't let us cry.
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  A narcissist inner child will not let them cry.
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  I'm going to do a short video on that later on.
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  Y'all y'all probably hear me say that in a shorter video later on
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  when I say like the narcissist, inner child just will not let
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  them cry. See I say when I say like the
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  narcissist, this how this I feel my tick tock.
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  I'll have an idea. I'll say a few words and I just
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  put into my drafts and I'll finish that video later.
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  Y'all see y'all will see it in I'm strong sure, later on one
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  day this week or it might already been posted.
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  But yeah, the narcissist inner child was hurt and damaged and
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  got punished for crying, got made to feel weak for for crying
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  and whatnot. So they didn't cry.
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  It's just like the inner child, like the adult version might
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  want to cry. The adult just like I'm going to
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  let it out. And the inner child is like, no,
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  we got hurt when we were little when we cry.
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  So you don't cry, don't let it out and you can feel it.
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  It's like you're fighting within yourself and it's frustrating
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  when you understand it, when you're aware of it, you fighting
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  it and but you understand it. You get it.
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  You feel it, you it's just like, Oh my goodness, this oh this
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  sucks, you know, it's pain. It is so much pain.
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  It just like, yeah, it's a lot of pain to hold back the tears
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  because we think the tears we it's pain.
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  It's painful to hold back the tears, but we feel like it'll be
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  more painful to let them out. You know, It is extremely
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  painful for us to hold back our tears, but it will be more
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  painful to us to let those tears out, to let those tears flow
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  because it hurts so damn badly. You know, it's just like, well,
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  we're going to protect ourselves by not crying because even
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  though it hurts to hold these tears back and to not show these
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  emotions right now, it will hurt more because it opens up, not
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  only opens, opens us up to present pain, but it also opens
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  us up to future pain because people can use this incident
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  against us. And a narcissistic person thinks
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  like that because we use incidents like this against
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  people all the time, don't we? You see what I'm saying all the
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  time. We do all the time.
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  It's just like the mindset of a lot of narcissists.
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  Y'all it's just, it's just mind blowing.
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  This is like how much we we think emotions are weakness and
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  that's why we we think, yes, some narcissists will want to
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  cry and hold back those tears because it hurts.
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  It hurts to hold them back, but we think it'll hurt us to hurt
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  us more. It causes more pain to do more
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  harm to us, do more damage to us to let them out.
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  You know what I mean? To let them let those tears out.
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  It's just like it is wild. Yeah, it's a wild mindset to
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  have. Yeah, some narcissists do cry.
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  Y'all they want to cry. Sometimes the inner child is not
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  strong enough to get those tears held back because the tears will
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  still flow sometimes. Y'all, you know, they might not
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  be willing and like, no, my mom, they might not do that.
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  My dog, my pet pigeon. I raised this pigeon woman.
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  I sat on this egg and it hatched and I raised it like my own
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  little baby pigeon. And now it's gone.
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  I they rarely will ever do that. Y'all.
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  They rarely will will ever do. That said, don't imagine a man,
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  a grown man, sitting on a pigeon egg before the Hatch.
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  Just can't stop thinking about that.
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  Shake that loose. But yeah, some narcissists can
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  cry. A lot of them want to cry, but
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  they just hold it back. But y'all, here's the caveat and
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  I will end on this. I will end on this caveat right
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  here. Some narcissists cry as
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  manipulation. Some narcissistic people cry as
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  a distraction from what they have done to to avoid
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  accountability, to make it sound like it's causing them pain.
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  To admit this, to say this and a lot of times, like I said with a
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  lot of times with with men, narcissistic people, it's just
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  like you got chastised for crying when you were younger.
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  You know, it might be the same thing as a as a woman growing up
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  as well. Y'all couldn't speak for that.
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  I can't speak for that. But the tears, the the cry,
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  using tears as manipulation, that's more of a female
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  narcissistic person's persona right there.
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  That's more of a female narcissistic person's traits.
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  Because like, babe, you've really text your ex.
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  I thought you said you were done with him.
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  I don't know. I'm dying or your mom.
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  You might have grown up seeing your mom do that to your dad and
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  your mom start crying, boohoo crying whenever she got held
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  accountable for something. You might have a toxic mom.
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  I'm just saying. I'm not saying narcissistic men
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  don't cry for manipulation because absolutely they do.
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  I got plenty of videos on my YouTube channel about
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  narcissistic men crying. They asses off when they get
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  caught cheated. It hurts me.
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  They hurt you, but you can tell that those are fake tears.
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  There's no tears running under their eyes.
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  They always fake, fake throwing up or whatever.
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  But you get a lot of those toxic, female, narcissistic
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  people and them tears that start flowing when accountability
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  knocks at the door. Just like, hey, hey female
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  narcissistic person, open up the door and you're like, oh Jesus,
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  those tears are real. I'm just telling you it happens.
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  And this is not me trying to be massaging.
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  They see y'all. No, I know the majority of my
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  followers are women. No, there's not me trying to be
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  misogynistic. But y'all, if y'all ever dealt
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  with a toxic, narcissistic female person, y'all know
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  exactly what I'm saying. Like, it's kind of it's kind of
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  like they can cry on cue. You know, your friend, your
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  bestie, your BFF, your your mom, your sister, you know, your girl
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  sometimes. Sometimes it'll be your grandma
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  or the Deacon at church, your teacher, your principal, whoever
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  it is, your your boss, whoever it is in these spaces.
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  You know what I mean? They cry on cue when they get
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  caught up and it's just like it's toxic regardless of whoever
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  doing it. Like I said, there's a lot of
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  toxic narcissistic men who will cry to manipulate you as well.
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  It's not just a women thing. I didn't make it seem like this
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  is a female narcissistic trait because men do it too.
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  But yes, y'all some narcissists do cry.
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  To answer your question, they answer the long winded answer
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  your question. Some narcissists do cry.
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  Some narcissists can and will cry.
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  You know I mean being with y'all.
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  Thank you for tuning into another episode.
• 11:41
  I really truly appreciate you for being here.
• 11:42
  Check out the self love brand if you haven't.
• 11:44
  That says I'm strong. I love me.
• 11:46
  It's a symbol. I love me.
• 11:47
  I'm strong. Lee Hammock is out.
• 11:49
  Y'all well mental illness is out.
• 11:51
  Please thank you so much for making it to the end of my
• 11:54
  video. Y'all.
• 11:55
  If you didn't know, we wrote a kids book called Remember, It's
• 11:58
  Not YOUR fault. To help kids understand that
• 12:00
  they are not in control of whatever circumstances they were
• 12:03
  born into. Talk about boundaries, telling
• 12:05
  the truth, all of that stuff. Y'all.
• 12:07
  It's available on Amazon right now or the link in my
• 12:10
  description of every single video or podcast that you listen
• 12:12
  to. Thank you so much.
• 12:14
  Remember, it's not your fault. Peace.