Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 221: Reclaim Your Life from Narcissistic Parents with Agatha Peters

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E 221: Reclaim Your Life from Narcissistic Parents with Agatha Peters · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  good
• 0:47
  morning,
• 0:47
  everybody,
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  welcome
• 0:49
  back.
• 0:49
  Today
• 0:49
  we
• 0:49
  have
• 0:50
  with
• 0:50
  us
• 0:50
  Agatha
• 0:51
  Peters.
• 0:51
  She
• 0:51
  is
• 0:51
  the
• 0:52
  founder
• 0:52
  of
• 0:52
  Beautiful
• 0:53
  Sunshine
• 0:53
  Therapy
• 0:54
  and
• 0:54
  the
• 0:54
  author
• 0:55
  of
• 0:55
  the
• 0:55
  book
• 0:55
  Trapped
• 0:56
  in
• 0:56
  Their
• 0:57
  Reclaim
• 0:57
  youm
• 0:57
  Life.
• 0:58
  From
• 0:58
  Narcissistic
• 0:59
  Parents
• 0:59
  and
• 1:00
  Cultural
• 1:00
  Expectations.
• 1:01
  Agatha
• 1:02
  worked
• 1:02
  with
• 1:02
  individuals
• 1:03
  from
• 1:03
  diverse
• 1:04
  backgrounds
• 1:04
  facing
• 1:05
  a
• 1:05
  wide
• 1:05
  range
• 1:05
  of
• 1:06
  mental
• 1:06
  health
• 1:06
  challenges
• 1:07
  in
• 1:07
  her
• 1:07
  private
• 1:08
  practice
• 1:08
  that
• 1:08
  she
• 1:09
  witnessed
• 1:09
  the
• 1:09
  profound,
• 1:10
  lasting
• 1:10
  impact
• 1:11
  therapy
• 1:11
  can
• 1:11
  have
• 1:12
  on
• 1:12
  people's
• 1:12
  lives.
• 1:13
  For
• 1:13
  Agatha,
• 1:14
  therapy
• 1:14
  is
• 1:15
  more
• 1:15
  than
• 1:15
  a
• 1:15
  profession.
• 1:16
  It's
• 1:16
  a
• 1:16
  personal
• 1:16
  calling.
• 1:17
  Her
• 1:17
  experience.
• 1:18
  She
• 1:18
  has
• 1:18
  experienced
• 1:19
  the
• 1:19
  healing
• 1:19
  power
• 1:19
  of
• 1:20
  therapy
• 1:20
  herself,
• 1:21
  and
• 1:21
  she
• 1:21
  is
• 1:21
  passionate
• 1:22
  about
• 1:22
  helping
• 1:23
  others
• 1:23
  discover
• 1:24
  the
• 1:24
  same
• 1:24
  transformation.
• 1:26
  Wow.
• 1:27
  Welcome,
• 1:28
  Agatha.
• 1:28
  How
• 1:28
  are
• 1:28
  you?
• 1:29
  Thank
• 1:30
  you,
• 1:30
  Tommy.
• 1:30
  Thank
• 1:31
  you
• 1:31
  for
• 1:31
  having
• 1:31
  me.
• 1:31
  I'm
• 1:32
  doing
• 1:32
  well
• 1:32
  today.
• 1:33
  How
• 1:33
  are
• 1:33
  you?
• 1:34
  I
• 1:34
  am
• 1:35
  doing
• 1:35
  great.
• 1:35
  I'm
• 1:35
  glad
• 1:36
  we
• 1:36
  finally
• 1:36
  connected.
• 1:36
  We've
• 1:37
  been
• 1:37
  trying,
• 1:37
  kind
• 1:38
  of
• 1:38
  going
• 1:38
  back
• 1:38
  and
• 1:39
  forth,
• 1:39
  trying
• 1:39
  to
• 1:39
  get
• 1:39
  hold
• 1:40
  of
• 1:40
  each
• 1:40
  other,
• 1:40
  and
• 1:40
  sometimes
• 1:41
  life
• 1:41
  happens,
• 1:42
  Right?
• 1:42
  Exactly,
• 1:43
  exactly.
• 1:45
  So
• 1:45
  you
• 1:45
  are
• 1:46
  a
• 1:46
  therapist
• 1:46
  now,
• 1:46
  correct?
• 1:47
  Yes,
• 1:48
  I've
• 1:48
  been
• 1:49
  in
• 1:49
  my
• 1:49
  own
• 1:50
  private
• 1:50
  practice
• 1:51
  now
• 1:51
  for
• 1:51
  a
• 1:51
  few
• 1:52
  years
• 1:53
  and
• 1:54
  expanding,
• 1:55
  actually,
• 1:55
  so
• 1:55
  I'm
• 1:56
  very
• 1:56
  excited
• 1:57
  for
• 1:57
  that
• 1:58
  so
• 1:58
  I
• 1:58
  can
• 1:59
  do
• 1:59
  a
• 1:59
  little
• 1:59
  bit
• 1:59
  more
• 2:00
  writing.
• 2:01
  Okay.
• 2:02
  Where
• 2:02
  are
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  in
• 2:02
  the
• 2:02
  world?
• 2:04
  Well,
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  am
• 2:04
  in
• 2:05
  Portland,
• 2:05
  Oregon.
• 2:06
  Okay,
• 2:07
  Okay.
• 2:07
  I
• 2:08
  know.
• 2:08
  I
• 2:08
  like
• 2:08
  to
• 2:08
  ask
• 2:09
  people
• 2:09
  that
• 2:09
  because
• 2:09
  sometimes
• 2:09
  I
• 2:10
  forget
• 2:10
  to
• 2:10
  ask
• 2:10
  them.
• 2:10
  And
• 2:10
  then
• 2:11
  the
• 2:11
  other
• 2:11
  day
• 2:11
  I
• 2:11
  asked
• 2:11
  someone
• 2:12
  and
• 2:12
  I
• 2:12
  was
• 2:12
  like,
• 2:13
  we
• 2:13
  were
• 2:13
  trying
• 2:13
  to
• 2:14
  connect,
• 2:14
  and
• 2:14
  I
• 2:14
  said,
• 2:14
  well,
• 2:14
  where
• 2:15
  are
• 2:15
  you
• 2:15
  in
• 2:15
  the
• 2:15
  world?
• 2:15
  And
• 2:15
  they're
• 2:16
  like,
• 2:16
  oh,
• 2:16
  I'm
• 2:16
  in
• 2:16
  Africa.
• 2:17
  And
• 2:17
  I
• 2:17
  was
• 2:17
  like,
• 2:18
  wow,
• 2:18
  what
• 2:18
  time
• 2:18
  is
• 2:18
  it?
• 2:19
  It
• 2:19
  was
• 2:19
  like,
• 2:19
  midnight
• 2:19
  their
• 2:20
  time
• 2:20
  or
• 2:20
  something
• 2:20
  crazy.
• 2:21
  And
• 2:21
  I
• 2:21
  was
• 2:21
  like,
• 2:21
  I'm
• 2:22
  so
• 2:22
  sorry.
• 2:23
  They're
• 2:23
  like,
• 2:23
  no,
• 2:23
  you
• 2:24
  popped
• 2:24
  up
• 2:24
  on
• 2:24
  my
• 2:24
  schedule.
• 2:25
  It's
• 2:25
  all
• 2:25
  good.
• 2:26
  So
• 2:27
  I
• 2:27
  guess
• 2:27
  that's
• 2:27
  part
• 2:27
  of
• 2:27
  working
• 2:28
  from
• 2:28
  home,
• 2:28
  right?
• 2:29
  Right.
• 2:30
  Yeah.
• 2:31
  So
• 2:31
  you
• 2:31
  went
• 2:32
  through
• 2:32
  a
• 2:32
  gamut
• 2:33
  of
• 2:33
  mess
• 2:34
  with
• 2:34
  the
• 2:34
  narcissistic
• 2:35
  parents
• 2:36
  and
• 2:36
  all
• 2:36
  of
• 2:37
  your
• 2:37
  experience.
• 2:38
  You
• 2:38
  went
• 2:38
  through
• 2:38
  poultry
• 2:39
  and
• 2:40
  cultural
• 2:40
  early.
• 2:40
  That's
• 2:41
  a
• 2:41
  tough
• 2:41
  one
• 2:41
  for
• 2:41
  me
• 2:41
  to
• 2:42
  say.
• 2:42
  And
• 2:44
  then
• 2:44
  you
• 2:44
  became
• 2:44
  a
• 2:45
  therapist.
• 2:45
  Do
• 2:45
  you
• 2:45
  think
• 2:46
  that
• 2:46
  you
• 2:46
  became
• 2:46
  a
• 2:46
  therapist
• 2:47
  because
• 2:47
  of
• 2:47
  that?
• 2:48
  Oh,
• 2:48
  absolutely.
• 2:49
  There
• 2:49
  was
• 2:50
  a
• 2:50
  lot
• 2:50
  of.
• 2:52
  Well,
• 2:52
  there
• 2:53
  was
• 2:53
  a
• 2:53
  lot
• 2:53
  of
• 2:53
  loneliness
• 2:54
  for
• 2:54
  me,
• 2:55
  feeling
• 2:55
  isolated
• 2:56
  because
• 2:56
  of
• 2:58
  the
• 2:58
  experiences
• 2:59
  I
• 2:59
  went
• 2:59
  through.
• 3:01
  Just.
• 3:01
  There
• 3:01
  was
• 3:02
  a
• 3:02
  great
• 3:02
  deal
• 3:02
  of
• 3:02
  cultural
• 3:03
  obligations,
• 3:04
  too,
• 3:04
  that
• 3:05
  comes
• 3:05
  into
• 3:06
  play
• 3:07
  where
• 3:08
  you
• 3:09
  feel
• 3:09
  as
• 3:09
  though
• 3:11
  regardless,
• 3:11
  even
• 3:12
  though
• 3:12
  you
• 3:12
  see
• 3:12
  the
• 3:12
  abuse
• 3:13
  happening
• 3:13
  and
• 3:14
  you
• 3:14
  know
• 3:14
  there
• 3:14
  is
• 3:14
  something
• 3:15
  wrong,
• 3:15
  but
• 3:16
  it's
• 3:16
  also
• 3:16
  normalized
• 3:17
  in
• 3:17
  a
• 3:17
  way.
• 3:19
  And
• 3:20
  I.
• 3:21
  I
• 3:21
  did
• 3:22
  try
• 3:22
  therapy
• 3:23
  myself.
• 3:24
  That's.
• 3:24
  I
• 3:24
  think,
• 3:25
  partly
• 3:25
  when
• 3:25
  I
• 3:25
  became
• 3:26
  a
• 3:26
  therapist.
• 3:26
  I
• 3:27
  sat
• 3:27
  on
• 3:27
  someone's
• 3:28
  couch,
• 3:28
  too,
• 3:28
  when
• 3:29
  I
• 3:29
  was
• 3:30
  18
• 3:30
  years
• 3:30
  old.
• 3:31
  And
• 3:32
  I
• 3:32
  think
• 3:34
  that
• 3:34
  therapist
• 3:35
  was
• 3:35
  one
• 3:35
  of
• 3:35
  the
• 3:36
  first
• 3:36
  people
• 3:36
  that
• 3:36
  pointed
• 3:37
  that
• 3:37
  There
• 3:38
  was
• 3:38
  something
• 3:38
  wrong
• 3:39
  in
• 3:41
  my
• 3:42
  upbringing,
• 3:45
  and
• 3:45
  I
• 3:45
  did
• 3:45
  not
• 3:46
  want
• 3:46
  to
• 3:46
  hear
• 3:46
  it.
• 3:46
  I
• 3:46
  was
• 3:46
  not
• 3:47
  ready
• 3:47
  to
• 3:47
  hear
• 3:48
  that.
• 3:49
  But.
• 3:50
  And
• 3:51
  I
• 3:51
  think
• 3:52
  that
• 3:52
  helped
• 3:52
  me,
• 3:53
  in
• 3:53
  a
• 3:53
  way,
• 3:53
  start
• 3:54
  to
• 3:54
  understand,
• 3:54
  okay,
• 3:55
  maybe
• 3:55
  there
• 3:55
  is
• 3:55
  something
• 3:56
  going
• 3:56
  on.
• 3:56
  But
• 3:56
  I
• 3:57
  still
• 3:57
  ignored
• 3:57
  it
• 3:57
  because
• 3:58
  of,
• 3:58
  again,
• 3:59
  loyalty
• 3:59
  culture.
• 4:00
  You
• 4:00
  know,
• 4:03
  there's
• 4:03
  a
• 4:03
  great
• 4:04
  deal
• 4:04
  of
• 4:04
  that
• 4:05
  that
• 4:07
  makes
• 4:07
  it
• 4:07
  where
• 4:07
  you.
• 4:08
  You
• 4:08
  just
• 4:08
  have
• 4:08
  a
• 4:08
  blind
• 4:09
  eye
• 4:09
  and
• 4:10
  a
• 4:10
  blindfold
• 4:11
  on
• 4:11
  through
• 4:12
  it
• 4:12
  all.
• 4:12
  So
• 4:14
  we
• 4:14
  actually
• 4:14
  did
• 4:15
  a
• 4:15
  summit
• 4:15
  in
• 4:15
  December,
• 4:16
  and
• 4:16
  it
• 4:16
  was
• 4:16
  called
• 4:16
  Shattering
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  Stigmas.
• 4:19
  And
• 4:19
  it
• 4:19
  was
• 4:20
  really
• 4:20
  interesting.
• 4:20
  And
• 4:20
  I
• 4:21
  think
• 4:21
  I
• 4:21
  had
• 4:21
  like
• 4:21
  45
• 4:22
  speakers
• 4:22
  on
• 4:22
  there,
• 4:23
  and
• 4:23
  they
• 4:23
  all
• 4:23
  talked
• 4:24
  about
• 4:24
  a
• 4:24
  stigma
• 4:25
  of
• 4:25
  some
• 4:25
  kind.
• 4:26
  And
• 4:26
  one
• 4:27
  of
• 4:27
  the
• 4:27
  girls
• 4:27
  that
• 4:27
  was
• 4:27
  on
• 4:28
  there
• 4:28
  talked
• 4:28
  very
• 4:29
  much
• 4:29
  about
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  stigma
• 4:30
  between
• 4:31
  mental
• 4:31
  health
• 4:32
  issues
• 4:32
  and
• 4:33
  in
• 4:33
  her
• 4:33
  culture.
• 4:34
  She
• 4:34
  said,
• 4:34
  we
• 4:34
  don't
• 4:35
  go
• 4:35
  to
• 4:35
  therapists.
• 4:36
  Like,
• 4:36
  you're.
• 4:37
  You
• 4:37
  just
• 4:37
  need
• 4:37
  to
• 4:37
  suck
• 4:38
  it
• 4:38
  up.
• 4:38
  Stop
• 4:38
  being
• 4:38
  such
• 4:39
  a
• 4:39
  baby.
• 4:39
  Like,
• 4:40
  talk.
• 4:41
  Talk
• 4:41
  about
• 4:41
  that.
• 4:42
  Because
• 4:42
  I
• 4:42
  know
• 4:42
  in.
• 4:42
  In
• 4:43
  every
• 4:43
  culture
• 4:44
  and
• 4:44
  so
• 4:45
  many,
• 4:45
  it's
• 4:45
  like
• 4:46
  weak.
• 4:46
  If
• 4:46
  you
• 4:47
  have
• 4:47
  a
• 4:47
  mental
• 4:47
  illness
• 4:47
  or
• 4:48
  you
• 4:48
  have
• 4:48
  a.
• 4:48
  You're
• 4:48
  struggling
• 4:49
  mentally,
• 4:49
  it's
• 4:50
  conceived
• 4:50
  as
• 4:51
  weak.
• 4:51
  But
• 4:52
  talk
• 4:52
  about
• 4:53
  people
• 4:53
  like,
• 4:53
  if
• 4:54
  you.
• 4:54
  Let's
• 4:54
  say,
• 4:55
  I
• 4:55
  mean,
• 4:55
  what
• 4:55
  got
• 4:55
  you
• 4:56
  to
• 4:56
  therapy,
• 4:56
  even
• 4:56
  though
• 4:57
  you
• 4:57
  knew
• 4:57
  there
• 4:57
  were
• 4:57
  these
• 4:57
  cultural,
• 4:58
  like,
• 4:59
  this
• 4:59
  is
• 4:59
  not
• 4:59
  right.
• 5:00
  You
• 5:00
  gotta
• 5:00
  just
• 5:01
  get
• 5:01
  over
• 5:01
  it
• 5:01
  and
• 5:02
  hide
• 5:02
  the
• 5:02
  family
• 5:02
  secrets
• 5:03
  or
• 5:03
  whatever
• 5:03
  it
• 5:03
  is.
• 5:04
  Talk
• 5:04
  about
• 5:04
  how
• 5:04
  you
• 5:05
  would
• 5:05
  encourage
• 5:06
  someone
• 5:06
  to
• 5:06
  go
• 5:07
  or
• 5:07
  what
• 5:07
  they
• 5:07
  could
• 5:07
  do.
• 5:09
  That's
• 5:10
  a
• 5:10
  really
• 5:10
  big,
• 5:11
  huge
• 5:11
  thing
• 5:12
  there
• 5:12
  for
• 5:12
  our,
• 5:13
  like,
• 5:14
  collective
• 5:14
  cultures
• 5:15
  in
• 5:15
  general,
• 5:15
  too.
• 5:17
  I
• 5:17
  wish
• 5:17
  I
• 5:18
  could
• 5:18
  say
• 5:18
  there
• 5:18
  was
• 5:18
  something
• 5:19
  in
• 5:19
  my
• 5:19
  gut
• 5:19
  that
• 5:19
  just
• 5:20
  told
• 5:20
  me
• 5:20
  to
• 5:20
  go
• 5:20
  to
• 5:21
  therapy,
• 5:21
  but
• 5:21
  absolutely
• 5:22
  not.
• 5:22
  I
• 5:23
  was
• 5:23
  in
• 5:24
  college,
• 5:24
  and
• 5:25
  one
• 5:25
  of
• 5:25
  my
• 5:26
  college
• 5:27
  professors
• 5:28
  had
• 5:28
  said
• 5:28
  something
• 5:29
  along
• 5:29
  the
• 5:29
  lines,
• 5:30
  like,
• 5:30
  you,
• 5:30
  you
• 5:31
  also
• 5:31
  have
• 5:31
  to
• 5:31
  be
• 5:32
  you.
• 5:32
  It's
• 5:33
  important
• 5:33
  for
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  to
• 5:34
  check
• 5:34
  yourself
• 5:35
  before
• 5:36
  you
• 5:37
  sit
• 5:37
  and
• 5:37
  be
• 5:38
  able
• 5:38
  to
• 5:38
  talk
• 5:38
  to
• 5:39
  other
• 5:39
  people.
• 5:40
  Like,
• 5:40
  you
• 5:40
  know,
• 5:41
  I
• 5:41
  was
• 5:42
  like,
• 5:42
  really?
• 5:42
  So
• 5:43
  it's
• 5:43
  almost
• 5:43
  like
• 5:43
  you
• 5:44
  need
• 5:44
  to
• 5:47
  check
• 5:47
  your
• 5:47
  own
• 5:48
  stuff
• 5:48
  before
• 5:49
  you
• 5:49
  can
• 5:49
  start
• 5:50
  to
• 5:50
  sit
• 5:50
  there
• 5:50
  and
• 5:51
  diagnose
• 5:52
  and
• 5:52
  look
• 5:52
  at
• 5:53
  others
• 5:53
  and
• 5:53
  all
• 5:54
  that.
• 5:55
  So
• 5:55
  that's
• 5:56
  really
• 5:56
  what
• 5:56
  drew
• 5:56
  me
• 5:57
  to
• 5:57
  going.
• 5:58
  And
• 5:59
  then
• 5:59
  I
• 5:59
  didn't
• 5:59
  stop.
• 6:00
  And
• 6:01
  with
• 6:01
  my,
• 6:02
  what
• 6:02
  maybe
• 6:03
  first.
• 6:03
  Second
• 6:04
  session,
• 6:04
  I
• 6:05
  just.
• 6:06
  There
• 6:06
  was
• 6:06
  so
• 6:06
  much
• 6:06
  that
• 6:07
  came
• 6:07
  out.
• 6:09
  I
• 6:09
  knew
• 6:09
  I
• 6:09
  needed
• 6:10
  that.
• 6:10
  I
• 6:11
  needed
• 6:11
  that
• 6:11
  space
• 6:11
  for
• 6:12
  the
• 6:12
  first
• 6:12
  time
• 6:12
  someone
• 6:12
  actually
• 6:13
  heard
• 6:13
  me
• 6:14
  and
• 6:14
  make
• 6:15
  sense
• 6:15
  of
• 6:16
  it.
• 6:16
  It
• 6:16
  just
• 6:18
  In
• 6:18
  a
• 6:18
  way
• 6:18
  that
• 6:19
  never
• 6:19
  I
• 6:20
  couldn't
• 6:21
  for
• 6:21
  myself.
• 6:24
  So
• 6:24
  that's
• 6:24
  what
• 6:25
  made
• 6:25
  me
• 6:25
  go.
• 6:26
  So
• 6:26
  I
• 6:27
  wish
• 6:27
  that.
• 6:27
  So
• 6:28
  it
• 6:28
  is
• 6:28
  big
• 6:29
  in
• 6:29
  our
• 6:29
  culture.
• 6:30
  It's
• 6:30
  a
• 6:31
  huge.
• 6:31
  I've
• 6:31
  seen
• 6:32
  a
• 6:32
  lot
• 6:32
  of
• 6:32
  people
• 6:32
  do
• 6:33
  the
• 6:33
  work,
• 6:34
  great
• 6:34
  work
• 6:35
  as
• 6:35
  those
• 6:35
  therapists,
• 6:36
  but
• 6:37
  are
• 6:37
  actually
• 6:38
  not
• 6:38
  checking
• 6:38
  themselves
• 6:39
  too.
• 6:40
  And
• 6:41
  that's
• 6:41
  what.
• 6:42
  In
• 6:45
  what
• 6:45
  can
• 6:45
  call
• 6:45
  us
• 6:47
  counter
• 6:47
  transference
• 6:48
  a
• 6:48
  lot
• 6:48
  in
• 6:49
  our
• 6:49
  field,
• 6:49
  when
• 6:50
  you're
• 6:50
  not
• 6:50
  able
• 6:50
  to
• 6:51
  actually
• 6:51
  heal
• 6:51
  your
• 6:52
  own
• 6:52
  wounds,
• 6:53
  you
• 6:53
  know,
• 6:54
  you
• 6:54
  can.
• 6:56
  You
• 6:57
  can
• 6:57
  kind
• 6:57
  of
• 6:58
  mess
• 6:58
  that
• 6:59
  up
• 6:59
  for.
• 7:00
  Well,
• 7:01
  you
• 7:01
  can
• 7:01
  actually.
• 7:01
  Yeah,
• 7:02
  you
• 7:02
  can
• 7:02
  traumatize
• 7:03
  your
• 7:03
  clients
• 7:03
  even
• 7:04
  more
• 7:04
  if
• 7:04
  you're
• 7:04
  just
• 7:04
  projecting
• 7:05
  your
• 7:05
  own
• 7:05
  pain
• 7:06
  onto
• 7:06
  them.
• 7:07
  You
• 7:07
  know,
• 7:08
  that's
• 7:08
  why
• 7:09
  I
• 7:09
  wasn't
• 7:09
  even
• 7:09
  a
• 7:10
  coach
• 7:10
  for
• 7:10
  many,
• 7:10
  many,
• 7:11
  many
• 7:11
  years,
• 7:11
  because
• 7:12
  for
• 7:12
  the
• 7:12
  longest
• 7:12
  time,
• 7:13
  I
• 7:13
  couldn't
• 7:13
  tell
• 7:13
  a
• 7:14
  story
• 7:14
  about
• 7:14
  my
• 7:15
  experience
• 7:15
  without
• 7:15
  breaking
• 7:16
  down
• 7:16
  and
• 7:16
  crying.
• 7:17
  Like.
• 7:18
  So
• 7:18
  I
• 7:18
  realized
• 7:18
  that,
• 7:19
  you
• 7:19
  know,
• 7:19
  every
• 7:19
  time
• 7:20
  I
• 7:20
  told
• 7:20
  my
• 7:20
  story,
• 7:21
  I
• 7:21
  was
• 7:21
  healing
• 7:21
  a
• 7:21
  little
• 7:22
  more.
• 7:22
  But
• 7:22
  I'm
• 7:23
  like,
• 7:23
  I'm
• 7:23
  not
• 7:24
  going
• 7:24
  to
• 7:24
  have
• 7:24
  somebody
• 7:25
  come
• 7:25
  in
• 7:25
  and
• 7:25
  sit
• 7:25
  on
• 7:26
  my
• 7:26
  couch,
• 7:28
  me,
• 7:28
  be
• 7:28
  projecting
• 7:29
  my
• 7:29
  pain
• 7:29
  onto
• 7:30
  them.
• 7:30
  I'm
• 7:30
  supposed
• 7:31
  to
• 7:31
  be
• 7:31
  their
• 7:31
  support
• 7:31
  system.
• 7:33
  And
• 7:33
  of
• 7:33
  course,
• 7:33
  there's
• 7:33
  nothing
• 7:34
  wrong,
• 7:34
  even
• 7:34
  as
• 7:34
  a
• 7:35
  therapist
• 7:35
  or
• 7:35
  a
• 7:36
  coach
• 7:36
  or
• 7:36
  whatever,
• 7:37
  with
• 7:37
  sharing
• 7:38
  stories
• 7:38
  and
• 7:39
  that
• 7:39
  vulnerability.
• 7:40
  But
• 7:41
  it's
• 7:41
  different.
• 7:42
  It's
• 7:42
  different
• 7:43
  when
• 7:43
  you
• 7:44
  have
• 7:45
  control,
• 7:45
  that
• 7:45
  you
• 7:46
  can
• 7:46
  show
• 7:46
  that,
• 7:46
  you
• 7:47
  know,
• 7:47
  you
• 7:47
  can
• 7:47
  be
• 7:47
  sad
• 7:48
  and
• 7:48
  then
• 7:48
  pull
• 7:48
  yourself
• 7:49
  out
• 7:49
  of
• 7:49
  it,
• 7:49
  that
• 7:49
  you
• 7:49
  can
• 7:50
  go
• 7:50
  through
• 7:51
  anxiety
• 7:52
  and
• 7:52
  you
• 7:53
  have
• 7:53
  tips
• 7:53
  for
• 7:54
  them
• 7:54
  to
• 7:54
  deal
• 7:54
  with
• 7:54
  their
• 7:55
  own
• 7:55
  anxiety.
• 7:55
  No,
• 7:56
  I
• 7:56
  totally
• 7:56
  get
• 7:56
  what
• 7:57
  you're
• 7:57
  talking
• 7:57
  about.
• 7:57
  And
• 7:59
  that
• 7:59
  is
• 7:59
  why
• 8:00
  I
• 8:00
  think.
• 8:02
  I
• 8:02
  don't
• 8:02
  know,
• 8:02
  especially,
• 8:03
  like,
• 8:03
  in
• 8:03
  the
• 8:03
  coaching
• 8:04
  realm.
• 8:04
  I
• 8:04
  don't
• 8:04
  want
• 8:04
  to.
• 8:05
  I
• 8:05
  don't
• 8:06
  want
• 8:06
  to
• 8:06
  say
• 8:06
  anything.
• 8:06
  I
• 8:06
  mean,
• 8:06
  coaching
• 8:07
  is
• 8:07
  magnificent.
• 8:08
  I
• 8:08
  love
• 8:08
  it.
• 8:09
  But
• 8:09
  you.
• 8:10
  You
• 8:10
  want
• 8:10
  to
• 8:10
  be.
• 8:11
  You
• 8:11
  want
• 8:12
  to
• 8:12
  be
• 8:12
  selective
• 8:12
  in
• 8:13
  your
• 8:13
  coaches
• 8:13
  and
• 8:14
  make
• 8:14
  sure
• 8:14
  that.
• 8:15
  Yeah.
• 8:16
  Make
• 8:16
  sure
• 8:16
  they're
• 8:16
  farther
• 8:17
  enough
• 8:17
  along
• 8:17
  in
• 8:18
  their
• 8:18
  healing.
• 8:19
  Yeah.
• 8:20
  Yeah.
• 8:20
  Because
• 8:20
  we
• 8:20
  all
• 8:21
  carry.
• 8:21
  That's
• 8:21
  what
• 8:21
  drew
• 8:22
  us
• 8:22
  to
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  profession
• 8:23
  to
• 8:23
  begin
• 8:23
  with.
• 8:25
  That's
• 8:25
  why
• 8:25
  I
• 8:25
  love
• 8:26
  the
• 8:26
  work
• 8:26
  that
• 8:26
  I
• 8:26
  do,
• 8:27
  because
• 8:27
  I've
• 8:28
  been
• 8:28
  through
• 8:28
  it,
• 8:28
  I've
• 8:29
  healed
• 8:29
  from
• 8:29
  it,
• 8:29
  and
• 8:30
  I
• 8:30
  can
• 8:30
  see
• 8:30
  it.
• 8:31
  You
• 8:31
  know,
• 8:31
  I
• 8:31
  can.
• 8:31
  I
• 8:32
  can
• 8:32
  help
• 8:32
  my
• 8:33
  clients
• 8:33
  better
• 8:33
  in
• 8:34
  that
• 8:34
  way
• 8:35
  and
• 8:36
  how,
• 8:36
  you
• 8:37
  know,
• 8:38
  it's
• 8:38
  unfair
• 8:39
  for
• 8:39
  that
• 8:39
  client
• 8:40
  to
• 8:40
  sit
• 8:40
  there
• 8:41
  and
• 8:41
  know
• 8:41
  that
• 8:42
  they're
• 8:42
  actually.
• 8:45
  You're
• 8:45
  getting
• 8:45
  treatment
• 8:46
  from
• 8:46
  someone
• 8:46
  that
• 8:47
  hasn't
• 8:47
  done
• 8:47
  the
• 8:47
  work
• 8:48
  themselves.
• 8:48
  It's
• 8:49
  not,
• 8:49
  you
• 8:49
  know.
• 8:50
  Yeah.
• 8:50
  So
• 8:51
  with.
• 8:52
  With
• 8:52
  that
• 8:52
  stigma,
• 8:53
  I
• 8:53
  think
• 8:54
  a
• 8:54
  lot
• 8:54
  of
• 8:54
  it
• 8:55
  is
• 8:55
  just
• 8:56
  try
• 8:56
  it.
• 8:57
  Just
• 8:57
  go
• 8:58
  walk
• 8:58
  through
• 8:58
  it
• 8:58
  as
• 8:59
  though
• 9:00
  you
• 9:00
  are
• 9:00
  building
• 9:00
  a
• 9:01
  friendship,
• 9:02
  you
• 9:03
  know,
• 9:04
  and
• 9:04
  not
• 9:04
  everyone
• 9:04
  is
• 9:05
  supposed
• 9:05
  to
• 9:05
  be
• 9:05
  your
• 9:05
  friend,
• 9:06
  and
• 9:06
  that's
• 9:06
  okay.
• 9:07
  Same
• 9:08
  with
• 9:08
  therapy,
• 9:09
  right?
• 9:09
  Like,
• 9:09
  just
• 9:10
  try
• 9:10
  one
• 9:11
  session.
• 9:11
  I
• 9:11
  tell
• 9:12
  people,
• 9:12
  give
• 9:12
  it
• 9:13
  at
• 9:13
  least
• 9:13
  three.
• 9:14
  But,
• 9:14
  you
• 9:14
  know,
• 9:15
  work
• 9:15
  through
• 9:15
  it
• 9:16
  in
• 9:16
  the
• 9:16
  lens
• 9:16
  of
• 9:16
  just
• 9:17
  building
• 9:17
  friendship,
• 9:18
  making
• 9:18
  connection,
• 9:20
  and
• 9:20
  see
• 9:20
  what
• 9:21
  happens,
• 9:21
  you
• 9:21
  know,
• 9:22
  See
• 9:23
  what
• 9:23
  happens.
• 9:24
  And
• 9:24
  the
• 9:24
  great
• 9:25
  thing,
• 9:25
  too,
• 9:25
  I
• 9:25
  think,
• 9:26
  for
• 9:26
  me
• 9:26
  is
• 9:27
  in
• 9:27
  Terms
• 9:27
  of
• 9:28
  finding
• 9:29
  someone
• 9:29
  first
• 9:29
  that
• 9:30
  was
• 9:30
  not
• 9:30
  from
• 9:31
  my
• 9:31
  culture
• 9:32
  made
• 9:32
  me
• 9:32
  feel
• 9:33
  less.
• 9:37
  Lack
• 9:37
  of
• 9:37
  better
• 9:38
  word,
• 9:38
  being,
• 9:39
  you
• 9:39
  know,
• 9:40
  naked
• 9:40
  because
• 9:41
  you
• 9:41
  feel
• 9:41
  like,
• 9:41
  oh,
• 9:41
  someone
• 9:42
  is
• 9:42
  going
• 9:42
  to
• 9:42
  see
• 9:42
  you
• 9:43
  and
• 9:43
  know
• 9:43
  you
• 9:43
  in
• 9:44
  that
• 9:44
  culture
• 9:44
  or
• 9:45
  something.
• 9:45
  But
• 9:45
  finding
• 9:46
  someone
• 9:47
  and
• 9:47
  in
• 9:47
  our
• 9:47
  profession,
• 9:48
  everything
• 9:48
  is
• 9:48
  confidential,
• 9:49
  especially,
• 9:50
  you
• 9:50
  know,
• 9:50
  but
• 9:51
  nonetheless,
• 9:52
  it
• 9:52
  might
• 9:52
  feel
• 9:53
  that
• 9:53
  it's
• 9:54
  like,
• 9:54
  shameful,
• 9:55
  if
• 9:55
  that's.
• 9:56
  That
• 9:56
  makes
• 9:57
  sense.
• 9:57
  Yeah,
• 9:58
  it
• 9:58
  does.
• 9:58
  And
• 9:59
  there
• 9:59
  is
• 9:59
  so
• 9:59
  much
• 10:00
  stigma
• 10:00
  around
• 10:00
  it.
• 10:00
  And
• 10:01
  that's
• 10:01
  really
• 10:01
  what
• 10:01
  I
• 10:02
  coach
• 10:02
  people
• 10:02
  is
• 10:03
  to,
• 10:03
  you
• 10:04
  know,
• 10:04
  we're
• 10:04
  reaching
• 10:05
  down
• 10:05
  and
• 10:05
  we're
• 10:05
  reaching
• 10:06
  so
• 10:06
  deep
• 10:06
  and
• 10:06
  getting
• 10:07
  past
• 10:07
  all
• 10:07
  the
• 10:07
  wounds
• 10:08
  and
• 10:08
  getting
• 10:08
  past
• 10:08
  all
• 10:08
  this
• 10:09
  stuff
• 10:09
  and
• 10:09
  at
• 10:09
  the
• 10:09
  end
• 10:09
  of
• 10:10
  the
• 10:10
  day,
• 10:10
  getting
• 10:10
  past
• 10:11
  what
• 10:11
  people
• 10:11
  think
• 10:11
  about
• 10:12
  us.
• 10:12
  Right.
• 10:14
  Stop
• 10:14
  caring
• 10:14
  what
• 10:15
  people
• 10:15
  think.
• 10:15
  You
• 10:16
  have
• 10:16
  to
• 10:16
  know,
• 10:17
  it
• 10:17
  doesn't
• 10:17
  matter
• 10:18
  what
• 10:18
  stigmas
• 10:18
  are
• 10:18
  out
• 10:19
  there.
• 10:19
  It
• 10:19
  doesn't
• 10:19
  matter
• 10:19
  if
• 10:19
  your
• 10:20
  grandma
• 10:20
  and
• 10:20
  her
• 10:20
  great
• 10:21
  grandma
• 10:21
  and
• 10:21
  her
• 10:21
  great,
• 10:22
  great,
• 10:22
  great
• 10:22
  grandma
• 10:22
  and
• 10:23
  they
• 10:23
  all
• 10:23
  had
• 10:23
  their
• 10:23
  own
• 10:23
  traumas.
• 10:24
  That's
• 10:24
  their
• 10:24
  problem.
• 10:25
  They
• 10:25
  didn't
• 10:25
  get
• 10:25
  them
• 10:26
  fixed.
• 10:27
  Yeah,
• 10:27
  you
• 10:28
  know,
• 10:28
  you
• 10:28
  got
• 10:28
  it.
• 10:30
  Yeah,
• 10:30
  that's
• 10:30
  all
• 10:31
  true.
• 10:31
  And,
• 10:32
  you
• 10:32
  know,
• 10:32
  healing,
• 10:33
  I,
• 10:33
  you
• 10:33
  know,
• 10:34
  a
• 10:34
  lot
• 10:34
  of
• 10:34
  my
• 10:34
  clients,
• 10:35
  I
• 10:35
  say,
• 10:36
  well,
• 10:36
  if
• 10:36
  you
• 10:36
  can't
• 10:36
  even
• 10:37
  do
• 10:37
  it
• 10:37
  for
• 10:37
  you,
• 10:37
  do
• 10:38
  it
• 10:38
  for
• 10:38
  your
• 10:38
  kids,
• 10:39
  do
• 10:39
  it
• 10:39
  for
• 10:39
  your
• 10:40
  partners,
• 10:40
  do
• 10:40
  it
• 10:41
  for,
• 10:41
  you
• 10:41
  know,
• 10:42
  so
• 10:42
  sometimes
• 10:42
  it
• 10:43
  just
• 10:43
  takes
• 10:44
  someone
• 10:44
  else
• 10:45
  that
• 10:45
  we
• 10:45
  know
• 10:46
  love
• 10:46
  us
• 10:46
  and
• 10:47
  care
• 10:47
  for
• 10:47
  us,
• 10:47
  that
• 10:47
  we
• 10:48
  don't
• 10:48
  want
• 10:48
  to
• 10:49
  traumatized
• 10:50
  because
• 10:51
  we've
• 10:51
  been
• 10:51
  through
• 10:51
  it,
• 10:52
  you
• 10:52
  know,
• 10:52
  so,
• 10:53
  yeah,
• 10:54
  so
• 10:54
  do
• 10:54
  it.
• 10:55
  Find
• 10:55
  some,
• 10:55
  Something
• 10:56
  that,
• 10:56
  that,
• 10:58
  that
• 10:58
  does
• 10:58
  it
• 10:58
  for
• 10:58
  you,
• 10:59
  that
• 10:59
  pulls
• 10:59
  you
• 11:00
  to.
• 11:00
  To
• 11:00
  getting
• 11:01
  help.
• 11:02
  Absolutely.
• 11:02
  Not
• 11:03
  us.
• 11:03
  And
• 11:03
  that's
• 11:03
  okay,
• 11:04
  you
• 11:04
  know?
• 11:05
  Absolutely.
• 11:06
  Because
• 11:06
  at
• 11:06
  the,
• 11:06
  you
• 11:07
  know,
• 11:07
  I
• 11:07
  always
• 11:07
  say
• 11:07
  in
• 11:08
  the
• 11:08
  beginning,
• 11:09
  you're
• 11:09
  really.
• 11:11
  You
• 11:11
  want
• 11:11
  to
• 11:12
  feel
• 11:12
  better,
• 11:12
  but
• 11:12
  at
• 11:12
  the
• 11:13
  same
• 11:13
  time,
• 11:13
  you
• 11:13
  don't
• 11:14
  feel
• 11:14
  like
• 11:14
  you
• 11:14
  deserve
• 11:15
  to
• 11:15
  feel
• 11:15
  better.
• 11:15
  So
• 11:16
  sometimes
• 11:16
  that's,
• 11:17
  you
• 11:17
  know,
• 11:17
  there
• 11:17
  is,
• 11:18
  like
• 11:18
  you
• 11:18
  said,
• 11:18
  a
• 11:18
  lot
• 11:18
  of
• 11:18
  the
• 11:19
  guilt
• 11:19
  and
• 11:19
  the
• 11:19
  shame.
• 11:20
  So,
• 11:21
  you
• 11:21
  know,
• 11:21
  I
• 11:21
  remember
• 11:22
  the
• 11:22
  first
• 11:22
  time
• 11:22
  a
• 11:22
  therapist
• 11:23
  told
• 11:23
  me
• 11:23
  what
• 11:23
  a
• 11:23
  therapist
• 11:24
  therapist
• 11:25
  cost,
• 11:25
  and
• 11:25
  I
• 11:26
  was
• 11:26
  like,
• 11:27
  who
• 11:27
  am
• 11:27
  I
• 11:28
  to
• 11:28
  spend
• 11:28
  that
• 11:28
  kind
• 11:28
  of
• 11:28
  money
• 11:29
  on
• 11:29
  me?
• 11:29
  Like,
• 11:30
  I
• 11:30
  got
• 11:30
  a
• 11:30
  family.
• 11:30
  Like,
• 11:31
  I
• 11:31
  got
• 11:31
  this,
• 11:31
  I
• 11:31
  got
• 11:32
  that.
• 11:32
  I
• 11:32
  got
• 11:32
  other
• 11:32
  things
• 11:32
  I
• 11:33
  need
• 11:33
  to
• 11:33
  spend
• 11:33
  my
• 11:33
  money
• 11:33
  on.
• 11:34
  But,
• 11:35
  you
• 11:35
  know,
• 11:35
  then
• 11:35
  it.
• 11:36
  Then
• 11:36
  it
• 11:36
  was
• 11:36
  like,
• 11:36
  okay,
• 11:37
  if
• 11:37
  I'm
• 11:37
  not
• 11:37
  there
• 11:38
  and
• 11:38
  I'm
• 11:38
  not
• 11:38
  present
• 11:39
  and
• 11:39
  I'm
• 11:39
  not
• 11:40
  where
• 11:40
  I
• 11:41
  need
• 11:41
  to
• 11:41
  be,
• 11:42
  my
• 11:42
  family
• 11:42
  will
• 11:43
  never
• 11:43
  be.
• 11:44
  They
• 11:44
  will
• 11:44
  never.
• 11:45
  Yeah,
• 11:46
  never.
• 11:48
  It's
• 11:48
  much
• 11:48
  cheaper
• 11:49
  than
• 11:49
  divorce.
• 11:50
  It's
• 11:50
  much
• 11:50
  cheaper
• 11:50
  than
• 11:51
  medical
• 11:53
  checkups.
• 11:54
  Yeah.
• 11:56
  It
• 11:56
  can
• 11:57
  be
• 11:57
  cheaper
• 11:57
  than
• 11:58
  the
• 11:58
  other
• 12:00
  damages
• 12:01
  that
• 12:01
  can
• 12:02
  cause
• 12:04
  not
• 12:05
  getting
• 12:05
  that
• 12:06
  help.
• 12:06
  So
• 12:09
  it's
• 12:09
  worth
• 12:09
  it.
• 12:10
  I
• 12:10
  think
• 12:10
  everybody,
• 12:11
  if
• 12:11
  you
• 12:11
  Can.
• 12:12
  And
• 12:12
  if
• 12:12
  you
• 12:12
  can't,
• 12:12
  then,
• 12:13
  you
• 12:13
  know,
• 12:13
  use
• 12:14
  insurance.
• 12:14
  Insurance
• 12:15
  is
• 12:15
  also
• 12:16
  there.
• 12:16
  Exactly,
• 12:17
  exactly.
• 12:18
  So
• 12:19
  you
• 12:19
  deal
• 12:19
  with
• 12:21
  all
• 12:22
  ages,
• 12:23
  all
• 12:24
  everything.
• 12:25
  So
• 12:26
  typically
• 12:26
  my
• 12:26
  clients
• 12:27
  are
• 12:27
  17
• 12:27
  and
• 12:28
  up.
• 12:29
  I
• 12:30
  serve.
• 12:31
  But
• 12:31
  yeah,
• 12:32
  so
• 12:32
  I,
• 12:32
  I
• 12:32
  mean,
• 12:32
  I've
• 12:33
  had
• 12:33
  clients
• 12:33
  up
• 12:34
  to
• 12:34
  60
• 12:34
  something
• 12:35
  plus
• 12:35
  and
• 12:35
  you
• 12:36
  know,
• 12:37
  but
• 12:37
  mostly
• 12:38
  women.
• 12:39
  A
• 12:39
  lot
• 12:40
  of
• 12:40
  people
• 12:40
  of
• 12:40
  culture
• 12:41
  are
• 12:41
  drawn
• 12:41
  to
• 12:41
  me
• 12:42
  for
• 12:42
  obvious
• 12:42
  reasons.
• 12:43
  I
• 12:43
  am
• 12:44
  an
• 12:45
  immigrant.
• 12:45
  I
• 12:45
  can,
• 12:46
  you
• 12:46
  know,
• 12:47
  move
• 12:47
  from
• 12:49
  my
• 12:49
  culture.
• 12:49
  My
• 12:50
  country,
• 12:51
  Nigeria,
• 12:52
  when
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  was
• 12:52
  14.
• 12:54
  And
• 12:55
  so
• 12:55
  I
• 12:56
  have
• 12:56
  immigrants.
• 12:57
  Russians,
• 12:58
  Mexicans,
• 12:59
  all.
• 13:00
  Yeah.
• 13:01
  West
• 13:01
  Africans,
• 13:02
  so
• 13:02
  many
• 13:04
  in,
• 13:04
  in
• 13:04
  my
• 13:04
  caseload.
• 13:05
  And
• 13:05
  I
• 13:06
  just
• 13:06
  love
• 13:06
  it.
• 13:06
  Just
• 13:07
  that
• 13:07
  cultural
• 13:08
  connection.
• 13:08
  It's
• 13:09
  just
• 13:09
  there's
• 13:09
  so
• 13:10
  many
• 13:10
  similar
• 13:10
  similarities.
• 13:12
  No.
• 13:12
  And
• 13:12
  it's
• 13:12
  just,
• 13:13
  you
• 13:13
  know,
• 13:13
  it's
• 13:13
  like
• 13:13
  finding
• 13:14
  a
• 13:14
  coach.
• 13:14
  When
• 13:14
  I
• 13:15
  always
• 13:15
  say
• 13:15
  to
• 13:15
  people,
• 13:15
  find
• 13:16
  a
• 13:16
  lived
• 13:16
  experience
• 13:17
  coach.
• 13:17
  And
• 13:17
  they're
• 13:17
  like,
• 13:17
  what
• 13:18
  is
• 13:18
  a
• 13:18
  lived
• 13:18
  experience
• 13:18
  coach?
• 13:19
  I'm
• 13:19
  like,
• 13:19
  somebody
• 13:19
  that's
• 13:20
  been
• 13:20
  through
• 13:20
  what
• 13:20
  you've
• 13:20
  been
• 13:20
  through.
• 13:21
  Yeah.
• 13:23
  When
• 13:23
  I
• 13:23
  went,
• 13:23
  when
• 13:24
  I
• 13:24
  went
• 13:24
  looking
• 13:24
  for
• 13:25
  a
• 13:25
  coach,
• 13:25
  I
• 13:25
  went
• 13:26
  looking
• 13:26
  for
• 13:26
  a
• 13:27
  trauma
• 13:27
  informed
• 13:28
  coach
• 13:29
  who
• 13:29
  grew
• 13:29
  up
• 13:29
  with
• 13:30
  alcoholic
• 13:30
  parents
• 13:31
  or
• 13:31
  addicted
• 13:31
  parents
• 13:32
  or,
• 13:32
  you
• 13:33
  know,
• 13:33
  like
• 13:33
  you,
• 13:34
  you
• 13:34
  probably,
• 13:36
  you
• 13:36
  probably
• 13:37
  resonate
• 13:37
  so
• 13:38
  much
• 13:38
  better
• 13:38
  with
• 13:40
  a
• 13:40
  therapist
• 13:40
  or
• 13:40
  a
• 13:41
  coach
• 13:41
  or
• 13:41
  whatever
• 13:41
  it
• 13:41
  is
• 13:42
  who
• 13:42
  had
• 13:42
  narcissistic
• 13:43
  parents.
• 13:45
  Exactly.
• 13:46
  And
• 13:46
  that's
• 13:46
  what
• 13:47
  I
• 13:47
  would
• 13:47
  look
• 13:47
  for.
• 13:49
  Yeah.
• 13:49
  So.
• 13:50
  And
• 13:51
  I
• 13:51
  think
• 13:52
  with
• 13:52
  therapists,
• 13:53
  which
• 13:53
  oftentimes
• 13:54
  Westerners
• 13:55
  don't
• 13:55
  always
• 13:55
  feel
• 13:56
  comfortable,
• 13:56
  but
• 13:57
  for
• 13:57
  us
• 13:57
  in
• 13:58
  these
• 13:58
  cultures,
• 13:58
  just
• 13:59
  connecting
• 13:59
  a
• 13:59
  bit
• 14:00
  with
• 14:00
  your
• 14:00
  own
• 14:01
  story.
• 14:01
  Don't
• 14:01
  have,
• 14:02
  you
• 14:02
  know,
• 14:02
  not
• 14:03
  doing,
• 14:05
  you
• 14:05
  know,
• 14:05
  everything
• 14:06
  out
• 14:06
  there,
• 14:06
  but
• 14:06
  just
• 14:06
  a
• 14:07
  little
• 14:07
  piece
• 14:07
  of
• 14:07
  who
• 14:07
  you
• 14:08
  are
• 14:08
  helps
• 14:08
  people
• 14:09
  also
• 14:09
  understand,
• 14:10
  like,
• 14:10
  okay,
• 14:10
  I'm
• 14:11
  not
• 14:11
  alone
• 14:11
  in
• 14:11
  this
• 14:12
  and
• 14:12
  are
• 14:12
  they
• 14:12
  a
• 14:13
  good
• 14:13
  fit
• 14:13
  for
• 14:13
  me?
• 14:13
  That's
• 14:14
  the
• 14:14
  whole
• 14:14
  point
• 14:14
  of
• 14:15
  being
• 14:15
  a
• 14:15
  good
• 14:15
  fit
• 14:17
  for,
• 14:20
  you
• 14:20
  know,
• 14:21
  a
• 14:21
  client.
• 14:22
  I've
• 14:22
  had
• 14:22
  someone
• 14:23
  tell
• 14:23
  me,
• 14:23
  well,
• 14:23
  you
• 14:24
  don't,
• 14:24
  you
• 14:24
  know,
• 14:25
  I,
• 14:26
  I
• 14:26
  had
• 14:26
  to
• 14:26
  out
• 14:26
  myself
• 14:27
  and
• 14:27
  say,
• 14:27
  well,
• 14:27
  you
• 14:27
  know,
• 14:28
  I
• 14:28
  don't
• 14:28
  work
• 14:28
  with
• 14:28
  people
• 14:29
  with
• 14:29
  substance.
• 14:29
  They
• 14:30
  like,
• 14:30
  well,
• 14:30
  mental
• 14:30
  health
• 14:31
  and
• 14:31
  substance
• 14:31
  and
• 14:31
  all
• 14:32
  go
• 14:32
  together.
• 14:32
  I'm
• 14:32
  like,
• 14:33
  actually,
• 14:33
  you're
• 14:34
  completely
• 14:34
  right.
• 14:35
  And
• 14:35
  that's
• 14:35
  why
• 14:35
  I
• 14:35
  do
• 14:35
  the
• 14:36
  referral
• 14:36
  process.
• 14:37
  I
• 14:37
  have
• 14:37
  to
• 14:37
  make
• 14:38
  sure
• 14:38
  you
• 14:38
  seeking
• 14:39
  help.
• 14:39
  But
• 14:39
  I
• 14:40
  work
• 14:40
  with
• 14:40
  the
• 14:40
  mental
• 14:41
  health
• 14:41
  part
• 14:41
  of
• 14:42
  the
• 14:42
  things,
• 14:42
  you
• 14:43
  know,
• 14:43
  the
• 14:43
  anxiety
• 14:44
  and
• 14:44
  depression
• 14:44
  that
• 14:44
  might
• 14:45
  be
• 14:45
  troubling
• 14:45
  you
• 14:46
  while
• 14:47
  connecting
• 14:47
  you
• 14:47
  with
• 14:48
  someone
• 14:48
  with
• 14:48
  substance.
• 14:49
  I
• 14:49
  wish
• 14:49
  I
• 14:50
  could
• 14:50
  do
• 14:50
  everything,
• 14:51
  but
• 14:51
  I
• 14:51
  can't.
• 14:51
  And
• 14:52
  I
• 14:52
  wouldn't
• 14:52
  be
• 14:52
  serving
• 14:53
  you
• 14:54
  well.
• 14:54
  And
• 14:54
  I
• 14:54
  have,
• 14:55
  I
• 14:55
  have
• 14:55
  a
• 14:55
  lot
• 14:55
  of
• 14:55
  respect
• 14:56
  for
• 14:56
  people
• 14:56
  that
• 14:56
  I
• 14:57
  like
• 14:57
  to
• 14:57
  just
• 14:57
  call
• 14:58
  it
• 14:58
  staying
• 14:58
  in,
• 14:58
  staying
• 14:59
  in
• 14:59
  their
• 14:59
  lane.
• 14:59
  Yes.
• 15:01
  You
• 15:01
  know,
• 15:01
  I
• 15:02
  mean,
• 15:02
  I'm,
• 15:02
  I
• 15:03
  say
• 15:03
  that
• 15:03
  all
• 15:03
  the
• 15:04
  time.
• 15:04
  I
• 15:04
  was
• 15:04
  just
• 15:04
  Talking
• 15:04
  about
• 15:04
  someone
• 15:05
  that,
• 15:05
  to
• 15:05
  someone
• 15:05
  today,
• 15:06
  if
• 15:06
  someone
• 15:06
  comes
• 15:07
  to
• 15:07
  me
• 15:07
  and
• 15:07
  they
• 15:07
  lost
• 15:08
  their
• 15:08
  spouse
• 15:09
  and
• 15:09
  they
• 15:10
  are
• 15:10
  going,
• 15:10
  you
• 15:10
  know,
• 15:10
  can't
• 15:11
  get
• 15:11
  out
• 15:11
  of
• 15:11
  bed
• 15:11
  and
• 15:11
  going
• 15:12
  through
• 15:12
  that,
• 15:12
  that
• 15:13
  level
• 15:13
  of
• 15:13
  depression,
• 15:15
  I
• 15:15
  can
• 15:16
  help
• 15:16
  them
• 15:16
  with
• 15:16
  anxiety.
• 15:17
  I
• 15:17
  can
• 15:17
  help
• 15:17
  them
• 15:17
  with
• 15:18
  depression.
• 15:18
  I've
• 15:18
  never
• 15:19
  lost
• 15:19
  a
• 15:19
  spouse,
• 15:20
  so
• 15:20
  I
• 15:20
  cannot
• 15:21
  put
• 15:21
  myself
• 15:22
  in
• 15:22
  their
• 15:22
  shoes.
• 15:24
  So
• 15:24
  I'm
• 15:25
  like,
• 15:25
  okay,
• 15:25
  well,
• 15:25
  here's,
• 15:26
  Here's
• 15:26
  a
• 15:26
  number
• 15:26
  to
• 15:26
  a
• 15:26
  grief
• 15:27
  counselor.
• 15:27
  Here's
• 15:27
  a.
• 15:28
  She
• 15:28
  lost
• 15:28
  her
• 15:28
  husband.
• 15:29
  Here
• 15:29
  you
• 15:29
  go.
• 15:29
  You
• 15:30
  know,
• 15:30
  it's,
• 15:31
  it's
• 15:31
  very
• 15:32
  different,
• 15:32
  but
• 15:33
  you
• 15:33
  probably,
• 15:33
  I
• 15:34
  want
• 15:34
  to
• 15:34
  jump
• 15:34
  in
• 15:34
  because
• 15:35
  you,
• 15:35
  I'm
• 15:36
  sure
• 15:36
  being
• 15:36
  with
• 15:37
  what
• 15:37
  you
• 15:37
  do,
• 15:38
  you
• 15:38
  deal
• 15:38
  with,
• 15:38
  probably
• 15:39
  everybody
• 15:39
  has
• 15:40
  some
• 15:40
  level
• 15:40
  of
• 15:40
  anxiety,
• 15:41
  depression,
• 15:43
  stress.
• 15:44
  What
• 15:44
  are
• 15:44
  some
• 15:45
  tips
• 15:45
  that
• 15:46
  you.
• 15:46
  Let's
• 15:47
  say
• 15:47
  somebody
• 15:47
  is
• 15:47
  not
• 15:47
  going
• 15:47
  to
• 15:48
  a
• 15:48
  therapist,
• 15:48
  but
• 15:48
  they
• 15:49
  know
• 15:49
  they
• 15:50
  probably
• 15:50
  could.
• 15:51
  Yeah.
• 15:51
  Yeah.
• 15:52
  What
• 15:53
  are
• 15:53
  some
• 15:53
  tips
• 15:53
  just
• 15:53
  to
• 15:54
  kind
• 15:54
  of
• 15:54
  start
• 15:54
  you
• 15:55
  out
• 15:55
  or
• 15:55
  jump
• 15:55
  start
• 15:56
  maybe
• 15:56
  their
• 15:56
  healing
• 15:57
  process
• 15:57
  that
• 15:57
  you
• 15:57
  could
• 15:58
  give
• 15:58
  for
• 15:58
  just
• 15:58
  general
• 15:59
  stress
• 15:59
  or
• 15:59
  anxiety.
• 16:00
  Okay,
• 16:01
  so
• 16:01
  my,
• 16:01
  That's
• 16:02
  a
• 16:02
  great
• 16:02
  question
• 16:03
  too.
• 16:03
  My
• 16:04
  clients
• 16:04
  with
• 16:05
  that
• 16:06
  work
• 16:06
  with
• 16:06
  me
• 16:06
  really
• 16:07
  get
• 16:07
  to
• 16:07
  know
• 16:07
  journaling
• 16:08
  a
• 16:08
  great
• 16:08
  deal.
• 16:09
  So
• 16:10
  that's
• 16:11
  one
• 16:11
  of
• 16:11
  the
• 16:11
  things
• 16:11
  we
• 16:12
  do.
• 16:12
  And,
• 16:13
  and
• 16:13
  sometimes
• 16:13
  people
• 16:14
  have
• 16:14
  difficulties
• 16:14
  knowing
• 16:15
  what
• 16:15
  topic
• 16:15
  to
• 16:16
  even
• 16:16
  write
• 16:16
  about
• 16:16
  or
• 16:17
  what
• 16:17
  to
• 16:17
  write
• 16:17
  about.
• 16:18
  You
• 16:18
  know,
• 16:18
  if
• 16:18
  you're
• 16:19
  in
• 16:19
  therapy,
• 16:19
  I,
• 16:20
  I
• 16:20
  work
• 16:20
  it
• 16:21
  around
• 16:21
  our
• 16:22
  session.
• 16:22
  Okay,
• 16:23
  what
• 16:23
  we
• 16:23
  ended.
• 16:23
  And
• 16:24
  then
• 16:24
  you
• 16:24
  can
• 16:24
  continue
• 16:25
  your
• 16:25
  healing
• 16:25
  throughout
• 16:26
  the
• 16:26
  week
• 16:26
  versus
• 16:27
  just
• 16:27
  my
• 16:27
  one
• 16:28
  session
• 16:28
  with
• 16:28
  you.
• 16:29
  But
• 16:29
  if
• 16:29
  you're
• 16:30
  not
• 16:30
  in
• 16:30
  therapy,
• 16:30
  just
• 16:31
  start
• 16:31
  writing.
• 16:32
  Just,
• 16:32
  you
• 16:32
  know,
• 16:33
  whatever.
• 16:33
  At
• 16:33
  the
• 16:33
  end
• 16:34
  of
• 16:34
  the
• 16:34
  day,
• 16:34
  especially
• 16:34
  when
• 16:35
  you're
• 16:35
  feeling
• 16:35
  overwhelmed
• 16:36
  and,
• 16:36
  or,
• 16:37
  you
• 16:37
  know,
• 16:37
  with
• 16:38
  all
• 16:38
  the
• 16:38
  stress
• 16:39
  from
• 16:39
  the
• 16:39
  day
• 16:40
  before
• 16:41
  you
• 16:41
  go
• 16:41
  to
• 16:41
  bed,
• 16:42
  instead
• 16:42
  of
• 16:43
  opening
• 16:43
  that
• 16:43
  screen
• 16:44
  and
• 16:44
  looking
• 16:44
  through
• 16:45
  Instagram,
• 16:47
  just
• 16:47
  start
• 16:47
  to
• 16:48
  write.
• 16:48
  Just
• 16:48
  put
• 16:49
  whatever
• 16:50
  it
• 16:50
  looks
• 16:50
  like
• 16:50
  might
• 16:51
  not
• 16:51
  make
• 16:51
  sense,
• 16:51
  but
• 16:52
  just
• 16:52
  put
• 16:52
  it
• 16:52
  down
• 16:52
  on
• 16:53
  paper
• 16:53
  and
• 16:53
  close
• 16:54
  the
• 16:54
  book
• 16:54
  and
• 16:54
  see
• 16:55
  what
• 16:55
  that
• 16:55
  feels
• 16:55
  like.
• 16:57
  Journalism
• 16:58
  has
• 16:58
  helped
• 16:59
  me
• 16:59
  a
• 16:59
  great
• 16:59
  deal.
• 16:59
  It's
• 17:00
  helped
• 17:00
  me
• 17:00
  even
• 17:01
  start
• 17:02
  to
• 17:02
  make
• 17:02
  sense
• 17:02
  of
• 17:03
  what
• 17:03
  I
• 17:03
  was
• 17:03
  experiencing.
• 17:05
  You
• 17:05
  know,
• 17:06
  experience
• 17:07
  in
• 17:07
  life
• 17:07
  with
• 17:09
  Anarch
• 17:10
  is
• 17:10
  just
• 17:10
  put
• 17:11
  in.
• 17:11
  Okay,
• 17:11
  does
• 17:11
  this
• 17:12
  make
• 17:12
  sense
• 17:12
  for
• 17:13
  me?
• 17:13
  Oh,
• 17:13
  okay,
• 17:14
  that
• 17:14
  was
• 17:15
  a
• 17:15
  lie.
• 17:15
  That
• 17:15
  was.
• 17:16
  Okay.
• 17:16
  So,
• 17:17
  you
• 17:17
  know,
• 17:17
  you
• 17:17
  just
• 17:17
  kind
• 17:18
  of.
• 17:18
  It's
• 17:18
  almost
• 17:19
  like
• 17:19
  a
• 17:19
  proof
• 17:19
  you
• 17:19
  can
• 17:20
  go
• 17:20
  back
• 17:20
  to,
• 17:20
  because
• 17:20
  sometimes
• 17:23
  we're
• 17:24
  lied
• 17:24
  to
• 17:24
  so
• 17:24
  much
• 17:25
  or
• 17:25
  we're
• 17:25
  made
• 17:25
  to
• 17:26
  believe
• 17:26
  that
• 17:27
  false
• 17:27
  reality
• 17:28
  so
• 17:28
  that,
• 17:29
  you
• 17:29
  know,
• 17:29
  they,
• 17:29
  they
• 17:30
  sort
• 17:30
  of
• 17:31
  create
• 17:31
  this
• 17:31
  false
• 17:32
  reality
• 17:32
  for
• 17:33
  us.
• 17:33
  So
• 17:34
  journaling
• 17:35
  helps
• 17:35
  a
• 17:35
  great
• 17:35
  deal.
• 17:36
  And
• 17:36
  then
• 17:38
  for
• 17:38
  clients
• 17:39
  with
• 17:39
  depression,
• 17:40
  honestly,
• 17:40
  just,
• 17:41
  it's
• 17:41
  summer
• 17:42
  here
• 17:42
  anyways,
• 17:44
  and
• 17:44
  maybe
• 17:45
  around
• 17:45
  the
• 17:45
  world
• 17:45
  as
• 17:46
  well,
• 17:46
  but
• 17:47
  just
• 17:47
  doing
• 17:48
  something
• 17:49
  that
• 17:49
  maybe
• 17:49
  you've
• 17:50
  always
• 17:50
  wanted
• 17:50
  to
• 17:51
  do,
• 17:51
  try
• 17:52
  just
• 17:52
  you
• 17:52
  know,
• 17:53
  for
• 17:53
  my
• 17:53
  clients,
• 17:54
  I
• 17:54
  even
• 17:54
  tell
• 17:54
  them,
• 17:55
  five
• 17:55
  minutes,
• 17:55
  walk.
• 17:56
  Just
• 17:56
  go
• 17:56
  outside,
• 17:56
  go
• 17:57
  do
• 17:57
  something,
• 17:58
  get
• 17:59
  air.
• 17:59
  Do
• 18:00
  something
• 18:00
  that
• 18:01
  feels,
• 18:03
  you
• 18:03
  know,
• 18:03
  new
• 18:04
  for
• 18:04
  you
• 18:04
  sometimes
• 18:05
  can
• 18:05
  help.
• 18:06
  Gives
• 18:06
  you
• 18:06
  a
• 18:06
  sense
• 18:07
  of
• 18:07
  empowerment.
• 18:07
  I
• 18:08
  did
• 18:08
  it.
• 18:08
  I
• 18:08
  wanted
• 18:09
  to
• 18:09
  do
• 18:09
  it.
• 18:10
  I
• 18:10
  had
• 18:10
  a
• 18:10
  client
• 18:11
  take
• 18:11
  swimming
• 18:11
  that
• 18:12
  really
• 18:12
  wanted
• 18:12
  to
• 18:13
  swim,
• 18:13
  but
• 18:13
  they
• 18:14
  travel
• 18:14
  everywhere
• 18:14
  but
• 18:15
  never
• 18:15
  swim,
• 18:15
  and
• 18:16
  they're
• 18:16
  like,
• 18:17
  oh,
• 18:17
  my
• 18:17
  gosh,
• 18:17
  I'm
• 18:17
  doing
• 18:18
  it.
• 18:18
  Can
• 18:18
  you
• 18:18
  imagine?
• 18:19
  I
• 18:19
  can
• 18:19
  actually
• 18:19
  do
• 18:20
  this
• 18:20
  thing.
• 18:20
  I'm
• 18:21
  swimming,
• 18:22
  like,
• 18:22
  see?
• 18:22
  Like,
• 18:23
  yeah.
• 18:23
  I
• 18:23
  felt
• 18:24
  so
• 18:24
  empowering
• 18:25
  to
• 18:25
  them,
• 18:27
  you
• 18:27
  know,
• 18:27
  to
• 18:27
  be
• 18:28
  able
• 18:28
  to
• 18:28
  do
• 18:28
  that.
• 18:28
  So
• 18:29
  do
• 18:29
  something
• 18:31
  for
• 18:32
  yourself
• 18:33
  that
• 18:33
  you
• 18:33
  wanted
• 18:34
  to
• 18:34
  do.
• 18:34
  So
• 18:35
  go.
• 18:36
  That
• 18:36
  just
• 18:36
  sort
• 18:36
  of
• 18:36
  helps.
• 18:37
  Like,
• 18:37
  just.
• 18:38
  And
• 18:38
  even
• 18:39
  if
• 18:39
  it's
• 18:39
  five
• 18:39
  minutes
• 18:41
  once
• 18:41
  a
• 18:42
  day,
• 18:42
  just
• 18:42
  get
• 18:42
  out.
• 18:43
  I
• 18:43
  always.
• 18:43
  I
• 18:44
  say
• 18:44
  that,
• 18:44
  you
• 18:44
  know,
• 18:44
  it's
• 18:45
  like,
• 18:45
  sometimes
• 18:46
  I'll
• 18:46
  just
• 18:46
  take
• 18:46
  a
• 18:46
  deep
• 18:46
  breath,
• 18:47
  breath
• 18:47
  in,
• 18:47
  and
• 18:48
  I'll
• 18:48
  be
• 18:48
  like,
• 18:48
  what
• 18:49
  do
• 18:49
  I
• 18:49
  want
• 18:49
  right
• 18:50
  now?
• 18:50
  What
• 18:50
  do
• 18:50
  I
• 18:51
  need
• 18:51
  right
• 18:51
  now?
• 18:52
  Sometimes
• 18:52
  it's
• 18:52
  to
• 18:52
  go
• 18:53
  walk
• 18:53
  my
• 18:53
  dog.
• 18:53
  Sometimes
• 18:54
  it's
• 18:54
  to
• 18:54
  lay
• 18:54
  on
• 18:54
  the
• 18:54
  couch
• 18:55
  and
• 18:56
  cover
• 18:56
  my
• 18:56
  head
• 18:56
  with
• 18:56
  a
• 18:56
  blanket,
• 18:57
  just.
• 18:57
  And
• 18:57
  relax.
• 18:58
  And
• 18:59
  it
• 18:59
  could
• 18:59
  be,
• 18:59
  you
• 19:00
  know,
• 19:00
  but
• 19:00
  if
• 19:00
  you
• 19:00
  just
• 19:01
  sit
• 19:01
  there
• 19:01
  and
• 19:01
  you
• 19:01
  kind
• 19:01
  of
• 19:02
  get
• 19:02
  in
• 19:02
  tune
• 19:02
  with
• 19:02
  your
• 19:02
  body
• 19:03
  and
• 19:03
  you
• 19:03
  say,
• 19:03
  you
• 19:03
  know,
• 19:04
  what
• 19:04
  would
• 19:04
  make
• 19:05
  me
• 19:05
  feel
• 19:05
  good
• 19:05
  right
• 19:05
  now?
• 19:06
  Like,
• 19:06
  right
• 19:06
  now
• 19:06
  I
• 19:06
  feel
• 19:07
  good,
• 19:07
  but
• 19:07
  if
• 19:07
  it
• 19:08
  was
• 19:08
  10
• 19:08
  minutes
• 19:08
  from
• 19:09
  now
• 19:09
  or
• 19:09
  we're
• 19:09
  done
• 19:09
  and
• 19:10
  I'm
• 19:10
  sitting,
• 19:10
  I'm
• 19:10
  like,
• 19:10
  what
• 19:11
  would
• 19:11
  make
• 19:11
  me
• 19:11
  feel
• 19:11
  good
• 19:11
  right
• 19:12
  now?
• 19:12
  It
• 19:12
  might
• 19:12
  be
• 19:13
  to
• 19:13
  just
• 19:13
  go
• 19:13
  sit
• 19:13
  on
• 19:14
  the
• 19:14
  side
• 19:14
  of
• 19:14
  my
• 19:14
  pool
• 19:14
  and
• 19:14
  dangle
• 19:15
  my
• 19:15
  feet,
• 19:16
  whatever
• 19:16
  it
• 19:16
  is,
• 19:17
  but
• 19:19
  start
• 19:20
  to
• 19:20
  listen
• 19:20
  to
• 19:20
  it
• 19:21
  and.
• 19:22
  And
• 19:23
  don't
• 19:23
  feel
• 19:23
  bad
• 19:23
  about
• 19:24
  it.
• 19:24
  Just
• 19:24
  get
• 19:24
  up
• 19:25
  and
• 19:25
  do
• 19:25
  it.
• 19:26
  Yeah,
• 19:26
  yeah.
• 19:27
  Doing
• 19:27
  something
• 19:28
  for
• 19:28
  you.
• 19:28
  And
• 19:29
  so,
• 19:29
  you
• 19:29
  know,
• 19:29
  again,
• 19:33
  you
• 19:33
  feel
• 19:33
  selfish
• 19:34
  doing
• 19:34
  it.
• 19:34
  But
• 19:34
  it's
• 19:35
  really
• 19:35
  important
• 19:35
  to
• 19:36
  just
• 19:36
  take
• 19:36
  that
• 19:36
  time.
• 19:37
  That's
• 19:37
  why
• 19:37
  I
• 19:37
  think,
• 19:37
  like,
• 19:38
  journaling
• 19:38
  doesn't
• 19:38
  feel
• 19:39
  so.
• 19:39
  So
• 19:40
  much
• 19:40
  because
• 19:40
  you're
• 19:40
  like,
• 19:40
  okay,
• 19:41
  it
• 19:41
  doesn't
• 19:41
  feel
• 19:41
  like
• 19:42
  I'm
• 19:42
  being
• 19:42
  selfish,
• 19:43
  but
• 19:43
  I
• 19:43
  can.
• 19:44
  At
• 19:44
  the
• 19:44
  end
• 19:45
  of
• 19:45
  the
• 19:45
  day,
• 19:45
  it's
• 19:45
  like
• 19:46
  reading
• 19:46
  a
• 19:46
  book
• 19:46
  and,
• 19:47
  you
• 19:47
  know,
• 19:48
  or,
• 19:48
  you
• 19:48
  know,
• 19:48
  getting
• 19:49
  going
• 19:49
  on
• 19:50
  a
• 19:50
  walk.
• 19:51
  But,
• 19:52
  yeah,
• 19:53
  right
• 19:54
  about
• 19:54
  that.
• 19:54
  Listen
• 19:55
  to
• 19:55
  your
• 19:55
  body,
• 19:56
  what
• 19:56
  it
• 19:56
  needs.
• 19:58
  Absolutely.
• 19:59
  And
• 20:00
  even
• 20:00
  with
• 20:00
  the
• 20:00
  journaling,
• 20:01
  if
• 20:01
  people
• 20:01
  get.
• 20:02
  And
• 20:02
  a
• 20:02
  lot
• 20:03
  of
• 20:03
  the
• 20:03
  people
• 20:03
  that
• 20:03
  I've
• 20:04
  had
• 20:04
  feedback
• 20:04
  from
• 20:05
  on
• 20:05
  this
• 20:05
  podcast
• 20:05
  are
• 20:06
  very
• 20:06
  new
• 20:06
  into
• 20:07
  the
• 20:07
  whole
• 20:07
  healing
• 20:07
  thing.
• 20:08
  They
• 20:08
  just
• 20:08
  grab.
• 20:09
  They
• 20:09
  get
• 20:09
  grabbed
• 20:09
  by
• 20:10
  the
• 20:10
  adult
• 20:10
  child
• 20:10
  of
• 20:11
  dysfunction
• 20:11
  by
• 20:11
  the
• 20:12
  title
• 20:12
  of
• 20:12
  the
• 20:12
  podcast,
• 20:13
  and
• 20:13
  they
• 20:13
  jump
• 20:13
  on,
• 20:14
  and
• 20:14
  they're
• 20:14
  very
• 20:14
  new.
• 20:15
  So
• 20:15
  if
• 20:15
  you
• 20:16
  don't
• 20:16
  have,
• 20:16
  you
• 20:16
  know,
• 20:17
  like
• 20:17
  you
• 20:17
  said,
• 20:18
  word
• 20:18
  vomit,
• 20:18
  it's
• 20:19
  literally
• 20:19
  just
• 20:19
  sit
• 20:19
  down
• 20:20
  and
• 20:20
  start
• 20:20
  writing.
• 20:21
  But
• 20:21
  if
• 20:21
  you
• 20:21
  don't,
• 20:21
  you
• 20:22
  can
• 20:22
  go
• 20:22
  on
• 20:22
  chat
• 20:22
  gtp.
• 20:23
  You
• 20:23
  can
• 20:24
  just
• 20:24
  type
• 20:24
  in
• 20:25
  on
• 20:25
  Google
• 20:25
  and
• 20:26
  put.
• 20:26
  What
• 20:26
  are
• 20:26
  some
• 20:26
  journal
• 20:27
  prompts
• 20:27
  to
• 20:27
  start
• 20:28
  off
• 20:28
  journaling
• 20:29
  and
• 20:29
  it's
• 20:29
  going
• 20:29
  to
• 20:29
  give
• 20:29
  you
• 20:30
  a
• 20:30
  million.
• 20:30
  Yeah.
• 20:31
  Yes.
• 20:32
  That
• 20:32
  might
• 20:32
  feel
• 20:33
  overwhelming,
• 20:33
  but
• 20:33
  yes,
• 20:34
  just
• 20:34
  picking
• 20:35
  one,
• 20:36
  just
• 20:36
  pick
• 20:36
  the
• 20:37
  first
• 20:37
  one.
• 20:37
  Or
• 20:37
  the
• 20:37
  first
• 20:37
  one
• 20:38
  that
• 20:38
  resonates
• 20:38
  with
• 20:38
  you.
• 20:39
  You
• 20:39
  know,
• 20:39
  you
• 20:39
  might
• 20:39
  go
• 20:40
  get
• 20:40
  to
• 20:40
  the
• 20:40
  first
• 20:40
  one
• 20:40
  and
• 20:41
  it
• 20:41
  might
• 20:41
  say,
• 20:41
  well,
• 20:42
  what
• 20:42
  could
• 20:42
  have
• 20:42
  gone
• 20:42
  better
• 20:43
  today?
• 20:43
  And
• 20:43
  you're
• 20:43
  like,
• 20:43
  no,
• 20:43
  I
• 20:44
  don't
• 20:44
  want
• 20:44
  to
• 20:44
  do
• 20:44
  that.
• 20:44
  I
• 20:44
  want
• 20:44
  to
• 20:44
  be
• 20:45
  positive.
• 20:45
  So
• 20:45
  you
• 20:45
  look
• 20:46
  at
• 20:46
  the
• 20:46
  next
• 20:46
  one
• 20:46
  and
• 20:46
  it
• 20:46
  might
• 20:47
  say,
• 20:47
  what
• 20:48
  are
• 20:48
  three
• 20:48
  things
• 20:48
  you're
• 20:48
  grateful
• 20:49
  for
• 20:49
  today?
• 20:50
  Just.
• 20:51
  Just
• 20:51
  go
• 20:51
  with
• 20:51
  it.
• 20:51
  Just.
• 20:52
  And
• 20:53
  then.
• 20:53
  Because
• 20:53
  once
• 20:53
  you
• 20:54
  start
• 20:54
  that,
• 20:54
  you
• 20:55
  will
• 20:55
  just
• 20:55
  start
• 20:55
  what
• 20:56
  I
• 20:56
  call
• 20:56
  word
• 20:56
  vomiting.
• 20:57
  You
• 20:57
  won't
• 20:57
  even
• 20:57
  know
• 20:57
  what
• 20:58
  you're
• 20:58
  writing.
• 20:58
  You
• 20:58
  just,
• 20:59
  just
• 20:59
  write.
• 21:00
  Just
• 21:00
  start
• 21:00
  writing.
• 21:05
  So
• 21:05
  you
• 21:05
  also.
• 21:05
  So
• 21:06
  thank
• 21:06
  you.
• 21:06
  That
• 21:06
  was
• 21:06
  helpful.
• 21:07
  And
• 21:07
  I
• 21:07
  like
• 21:07
  to
• 21:07
  keep.
• 21:08
  I.
• 21:08
  We
• 21:09
  probably
• 21:09
  talked
• 21:09
  about
• 21:09
  it
• 21:09
  before.
• 21:10
  I
• 21:10
  like
• 21:10
  to
• 21:10
  throw
• 21:10
  in
• 21:11
  some
• 21:11
  tips,
• 21:11
  some
• 21:11
  things
• 21:12
  that
• 21:12
  people
• 21:12
  can
• 21:12
  just
• 21:12
  jump
• 21:13
  right
• 21:13
  in
• 21:13
  and
• 21:13
  do
• 21:14
  because
• 21:15
  not
• 21:15
  everybody
• 21:15
  is
• 21:16
  comfortable
• 21:16
  enough
• 21:16
  to
• 21:16
  go
• 21:17
  to
• 21:17
  a
• 21:17
  therapist
• 21:17
  or
• 21:17
  to
• 21:18
  go
• 21:18
  to
• 21:18
  a
• 21:18
  coach.
• 21:18
  And,
• 21:19
  and
• 21:19
  so
• 21:19
  I
• 21:19
  want
• 21:19
  practical
• 21:20
  tips.
• 21:20
  So
• 21:20
  I
• 21:20
  appreciate
• 21:21
  that
• 21:23
  you
• 21:23
  talked
• 21:24
  about
• 21:24
  your.
• 21:25
  I
• 21:25
  guess
• 21:26
  it
• 21:26
  wasn't
• 21:26
  really
• 21:26
  an
• 21:27
  aha
• 21:27
  moment,
• 21:27
  like
• 21:28
  a
• 21:28
  big
• 21:28
  slap
• 21:28
  in
• 21:28
  the
• 21:29
  face
• 21:29
  like,
• 21:29
  I
• 21:29
  need
• 21:30
  help.
• 21:30
  But
• 21:30
  you
• 21:30
  said
• 21:30
  that
• 21:31
  your
• 21:31
  professor
• 21:31
  said
• 21:31
  something
• 21:32
  that
• 21:32
  kind
• 21:32
  of
• 21:33
  not
• 21:34
  triggered
• 21:34
  you,
• 21:34
  but
• 21:34
  made
• 21:35
  you
• 21:35
  realize
• 21:35
  that
• 21:35
  you
• 21:36
  really
• 21:36
  do
• 21:36
  have
• 21:37
  to
• 21:38
  look
• 21:38
  at
• 21:39
  yourself
• 21:39
  and
• 21:39
  look
• 21:39
  at
• 21:40
  what
• 21:40
  happened
• 21:40
  to
• 21:41
  see
• 21:41
  if
• 21:41
  maybe
• 21:42
  there
• 21:42
  is
• 21:42
  some
• 21:42
  trauma
• 21:42
  there.
• 21:44
  A
• 21:44
  lot
• 21:45
  of
• 21:45
  people
• 21:46
  grow
• 21:46
  up
• 21:46
  with
• 21:47
  parents
• 21:47
  and
• 21:48
  they.
• 21:48
  It's
• 21:48
  all
• 21:48
  they
• 21:49
  know.
• 21:49
  What
• 21:49
  they
• 21:49
  grow
• 21:50
  up
• 21:50
  with
• 21:50
  is
• 21:50
  absolutely
• 21:51
  all
• 21:51
  they
• 21:51
  know.
• 21:52
  But
• 21:52
  what
• 21:53
  are
• 21:53
  some
• 21:53
  signs
• 21:53
  that
• 21:54
  you
• 21:54
  might
• 21:54
  be
• 21:54
  dealing
• 21:55
  with
• 21:55
  an
• 21:55
  unhealthy
• 21:56
  family
• 21:57
  or
• 21:57
  a
• 21:58
  narcissistic
• 21:58
  parent
• 21:59
  or
• 22:00
  just
• 22:00
  someone
• 22:01
  that
• 22:02
  is.
• 22:03
  That
• 22:04
  gave
• 22:04
  you
• 22:05
  problems.
• 22:08
  You're
• 22:08
  never
• 22:08
  enough.
• 22:11
  You
• 22:11
  don't
• 22:12
  feel
• 22:12
  enough
• 22:12
  for
• 22:13
  them.
• 22:14
  You
• 22:14
  don't
• 22:15
  really
• 22:17
  feel
• 22:17
  like
• 22:17
  you
• 22:18
  can
• 22:18
  do
• 22:18
  anything
• 22:19
  right.
• 22:21
  And,
• 22:21
  you
• 22:21
  know,
• 22:22
  it's
• 22:23
  pretty.
• 22:25
  Then
• 22:25
  you
• 22:25
  internalize
• 22:26
  that
• 22:26
  for
• 22:27
  such
• 22:27
  a
• 22:27
  long
• 22:27
  time
• 22:29
  that
• 22:29
  that's
• 22:30
  what's
• 22:30
  repeated
• 22:31
  to
• 22:31
  you.
• 22:31
  There's
• 22:32
  not,
• 22:32
  you
• 22:32
  know,
• 22:35
  you
• 22:35
  feel
• 22:35
  invisible.
• 22:36
  You,
• 22:37
  you
• 22:37
  know,
• 22:38
  but
• 22:38
  then
• 22:38
  it's,
• 22:38
  you
• 22:39
  know,
• 22:39
  does
• 22:39
  it
• 22:40
  again.
• 22:40
  When
• 22:40
  we're
• 22:41
  in
• 22:41
  a
• 22:41
  collective
• 22:41
  culture
• 22:42
  like
• 22:42
  ours,
• 22:44
  that's
• 22:44
  the
• 22:44
  whole
• 22:44
  point.
• 22:45
  You're
• 22:45
  supposed
• 22:45
  to
• 22:45
  be
• 22:46
  in
• 22:46
  a
• 22:46
  collective
• 22:46
  feeling
• 22:47
  and
• 22:47
  not
• 22:48
  be
• 22:48
  individualized,
• 22:49
  but
• 22:49
  then
• 22:49
  you
• 22:50
  feel
• 22:51
  so.
• 22:51
  And
• 22:53
  you
• 22:54
  know,
• 22:56
  there,
• 22:56
  you
• 22:57
  know,
• 22:57
  there
• 22:57
  are
• 22:57
  different
• 22:57
  forms
• 22:58
  of
• 22:58
  punishment
• 22:59
  in
• 22:59
  our
• 22:59
  culture
• 22:59
  that
• 23:00
  is
• 23:00
  very
• 23:00
  acceptable
• 23:01
  that,
• 23:01
  you
• 23:02
  know,
• 23:03
  I
• 23:03
  talked
• 23:04
  in
• 23:04
  my
• 23:04
  book,
• 23:04
  I
• 23:04
  talk
• 23:05
  about
• 23:05
  being
• 23:06
  raised
• 23:06
  in
• 23:06
  an
• 23:06
  authoritarian
• 23:08
  way
• 23:08
  and
• 23:09
  versus
• 23:11
  the
• 23:11
  difference
• 23:12
  between
• 23:13
  these
• 23:15
  narcissistic
• 23:16
  parents
• 23:17
  versus
• 23:17
  when
• 23:19
  the
• 23:19
  kids
• 23:19
  start
• 23:20
  to
• 23:20
  get
• 23:20
  older,
• 23:21
  they
• 23:21
  can
• 23:22
  actually
• 23:22
  leave
• 23:22
  that
• 23:23
  sort
• 23:23
  of
• 23:23
  role
• 23:24
  of
• 23:24
  parenting
• 23:25
  to
• 23:25
  a
• 23:25
  more
• 23:25
  authoritarian.
• 23:29
  Saying
• 23:29
  it
• 23:29
  right
• 23:29
  now,
• 23:30
  mistaken
• 23:30
  in
• 23:30
  the
• 23:30
  boat,
• 23:31
  but
• 23:31
  a
• 23:31
  more
• 23:31
  authoritative
• 23:33
  sort
• 23:33
  of
• 23:34
  approach,
• 23:34
  which
• 23:34
  is
• 23:34
  more
• 23:35
  communication,
• 23:37
  much
• 23:37
  more
• 23:38
  openness,
• 23:39
  more
• 23:39
  dialogue.
• 23:40
  But
• 23:40
  with
• 23:41
  narcissists,
• 23:41
  they
• 23:42
  don't
• 23:42
  really
• 23:42
  let
• 23:42
  that
• 23:43
  go.
• 23:43
  They
• 23:44
  still
• 23:44
  feed
• 23:45
  through
• 23:45
  that.
• 23:47
  The
• 23:47
  obligation
• 23:48
  that
• 23:49
  you
• 23:49
  needed,
• 23:49
  you
• 23:51
  give
• 23:52
  so
• 23:52
  much,
• 23:53
  but
• 23:53
  it's
• 23:54
  never
• 23:54
  enough.
• 23:56
  And
• 23:57
  you're
• 23:58
  even
• 23:58
  told
• 23:58
  that,
• 23:59
  that,
• 23:59
  you
• 23:59
  know,
• 24:00
  you
• 24:00
  can't
• 24:00
  do
• 24:01
  anything
• 24:01
  right,
• 24:02
  there's
• 24:02
  a
• 24:02
  great
• 24:02
  deal
• 24:03
  of
• 24:04
  abuse
• 24:04
  that
• 24:05
  continues
• 24:05
  throughout
• 24:06
  your
• 24:06
  years.
• 24:07
  It
• 24:07
  doesn't
• 24:07
  mean
• 24:08
  here,
• 24:08
  stop
• 24:09
  for
• 24:09
  you.
• 24:11
  So
• 24:12
  I
• 24:12
  think
• 24:12
  that's
• 24:13
  a
• 24:13
  huge
• 24:13
  sign
• 24:13
  there.
• 24:14
  And
• 24:15
  you
• 24:15
  know,
• 24:15
  for
• 24:15
  us,
• 24:16
  I
• 24:16
  think
• 24:16
  we
• 24:16
  know,
• 24:17
  you
• 24:17
  know,
• 24:17
  when,
• 24:18
  when,
• 24:19
  when
• 24:19
  we,
• 24:20
  we
• 24:20
  can
• 24:20
  normalize
• 24:21
  it
• 24:21
  as
• 24:21
  much
• 24:22
  as
• 24:22
  we
• 24:22
  want,
• 24:22
  but,
• 24:22
  you
• 24:23
  know,
• 24:23
  you
• 24:23
  know
• 24:24
  that
• 24:25
  there
• 24:25
  is
• 24:25
  pain
• 24:25
  going
• 24:26
  on.
• 24:29
  And
• 24:30
  same
• 24:31
  with
• 24:31
  relationships.
• 24:32
  When
• 24:32
  I
• 24:32
  tell
• 24:33
  my
• 24:33
  clients,
• 24:33
  love.
• 24:34
  Love
• 24:34
  is
• 24:34
  not
• 24:35
  supposed
• 24:35
  to
• 24:35
  hurt.
• 24:36
  Parents
• 24:37
  are
• 24:37
  not
• 24:37
  supposed
• 24:37
  to
• 24:38
  hurt
• 24:38
  you.
• 24:39
  You're
• 24:39
  just
• 24:39
  not
• 24:40
  supposed
• 24:40
  to.
• 24:41
  They
• 24:41
  should
• 24:41
  make
• 24:42
  everything
• 24:42
  feel
• 24:43
  so
• 24:44
  much
• 24:44
  more
• 24:44
  better.
• 24:45
  Right?
• 24:45
  Like
• 24:45
  that.
• 24:46
  That's
• 24:47
  why.
• 24:48
  That's
• 24:49
  a
• 24:49
  lot
• 24:49
  of
• 24:49
  why
• 24:49
  we
• 24:49
  became
• 24:50
  parents.
• 24:51
  You
• 24:51
  know,
• 24:51
  it's.
• 24:52
  So
• 24:53
  if
• 24:54
  they're
• 24:55
  causing
• 24:55
  you
• 24:55
  harm,
• 24:57
  then,
• 24:59
  yeah,
• 24:59
  love
• 25:00
  is
• 25:00
  not
• 25:00
  so
• 25:00
  good.
• 25:02
  No,
• 25:02
  no,
• 25:02
  it's
• 25:03
  definitely,
• 25:03
  Definitely
• 25:04
  not.
• 25:04
  Yeah.
• 25:05
  Yeah.
• 25:06
  So
• 25:07
  if
• 25:07
  you're
• 25:07
  out
• 25:07
  there
• 25:07
  and
• 25:07
  you're
• 25:08
  listening
• 25:08
  and
• 25:08
  you're
• 25:08
  just
• 25:09
  kind
• 25:09
  of
• 25:09
  thinking,
• 25:10
  wow,
• 25:10
  yeah,
• 25:10
  I
• 25:10
  do
• 25:10
  get
• 25:11
  those
• 25:11
  feelings.
• 25:11
  You
• 25:11
  know,
• 25:12
  sometimes
• 25:12
  I,
• 25:12
  I
• 25:13
  feel
• 25:13
  like
• 25:13
  nothing
• 25:13
  is
• 25:14
  ever
• 25:14
  good
• 25:14
  enough.
• 25:14
  I
• 25:14
  can't
• 25:15
  do
• 25:15
  anything
• 25:15
  right.
• 25:15
  I
• 25:16
  can't.
• 25:16
  You
• 25:16
  know,
• 25:16
  another.
• 25:17
  Some
• 25:17
  of
• 25:17
  those
• 25:17
  are.
• 25:18
  Other
• 25:18
  are
• 25:18
  that
• 25:19
  you
• 25:19
  don't
• 25:19
  trust
• 25:20
  your
• 25:20
  instinct.
• 25:21
  Like
• 25:21
  if
• 25:21
  somebody
• 25:22
  says
• 25:22
  something
• 25:23
  and
• 25:23
  it
• 25:23
  gives
• 25:23
  you
• 25:23
  kind
• 25:24
  of
• 25:24
  that
• 25:24
  gut
• 25:24
  feeling
• 25:25
  like,
• 25:25
  oh,
• 25:25
  that
• 25:25
  doesn't
• 25:25
  feel
• 25:26
  right.
• 25:26
  You
• 25:26
  ignore
• 25:27
  that.
• 25:28
  That's
• 25:28
  another
• 25:29
  sign
• 25:29
  that
• 25:30
  it
• 25:30
  wasn't
• 25:30
  so,
• 25:31
  you
• 25:31
  know,
• 25:31
  because
• 25:31
  you
• 25:31
  were
• 25:31
  taught
• 25:32
  to
• 25:32
  ignore
• 25:32
  it.
• 25:33
  You
• 25:33
  were
• 25:33
  talked
• 25:33
  to
• 25:34
  push
• 25:34
  it
• 25:34
  under
• 25:35
  the
• 25:35
  rug
• 25:35
  to
• 25:35
  not
• 25:36
  have
• 25:36
  those
• 25:36
  emotions,
• 25:37
  to
• 25:37
  not
• 25:37
  feel
• 25:37
  those
• 25:38
  feelings.
• 25:39
  So
• 25:39
  a
• 25:39
  lot
• 25:39
  of,
• 25:40
  you
• 25:40
  know,
• 25:40
  that
• 25:40
  turns
• 25:41
  into
• 25:41
  a
• 25:41
  lot
• 25:41
  of
• 25:42
  the
• 25:42
  people
• 25:42
  pleasing
• 25:43
  and
• 25:43
  just
• 25:44
  having
• 25:45
  people
• 25:45
  violating
• 25:45
  your
• 25:46
  boundaries
• 25:46
  and
• 25:46
  not
• 25:47
  being
• 25:47
  able
• 25:47
  to
• 25:47
  say
• 25:47
  no
• 25:48
  and
• 25:48
  all
• 25:48
  of
• 25:49
  those
• 25:49
  things
• 25:49
  that
• 25:50
  just
• 25:50
  come.
• 25:51
  Basically,
• 25:51
  it
• 25:51
  all
• 25:52
  boils
• 25:52
  down
• 25:52
  to
• 25:53
  that
• 25:53
  general
• 25:53
  feeling
• 25:54
  of,
• 25:55
  I'm
• 25:55
  not
• 25:55
  enough.
• 25:56
  I'm
• 25:56
  not
• 25:56
  good.
• 25:57
  You
• 25:57
  know,
• 25:58
  there's
• 25:58
  a,
• 25:58
  It's.
• 25:58
  It's
• 25:58
  like
• 25:59
  I
• 25:59
  said,
• 25:59
  there's
• 25:59
  a
• 25:59
  difference
• 25:59
  between
• 26:00
  doing
• 26:00
  something
• 26:01
  and
• 26:01
  feeling
• 26:01
  guilty
• 26:03
  and
• 26:03
  then
• 26:03
  doing
• 26:03
  something
• 26:04
  and,
• 26:04
  and,
• 26:05
  or
• 26:05
  being
• 26:05
  shameful.
• 26:07
  And
• 26:07
  you
• 26:07
  should,
• 26:08
  if
• 26:08
  you
• 26:08
  hurt
• 26:08
  somebody,
• 26:09
  you
• 26:09
  should
• 26:09
  feel
• 26:09
  guilty
• 26:09
  about
• 26:10
  it,
• 26:10
  but
• 26:10
  it
• 26:10
  doesn't
• 26:11
  make
• 26:11
  you
• 26:11
  a
• 26:11
  bad
• 26:11
  person.
• 26:12
  You
• 26:12
  Did
• 26:12
  a
• 26:12
  bad
• 26:13
  thing.
• 26:13
  So
• 26:15
  it's
• 26:15
  just
• 26:15
  the
• 26:15
  messages
• 26:16
  are
• 26:16
  so
• 26:16
  mixed
• 26:17
  when
• 26:17
  you
• 26:17
  grow
• 26:17
  up
• 26:17
  in
• 26:18
  that
• 26:18
  kind
• 26:18
  of
• 26:18
  neglect
• 26:19
  or
• 26:19
  abuse.
• 26:20
  Yeah,
• 26:21
  yeah,
• 26:22
  yeah.
• 26:22
  And,
• 26:23
  you
• 26:24
  know,
• 26:24
  ours,
• 26:25
  everyone
• 26:26
  makes
• 26:26
  it
• 26:27
  seem
• 26:27
  like,
• 26:27
  well,
• 26:28
  you
• 26:28
  can't
• 26:28
  really
• 26:28
  go
• 26:29
  anywhere
• 26:29
  because
• 26:30
  when
• 26:30
  you
• 26:30
  go,
• 26:30
  you're
• 26:30
  like,
• 26:31
  well,
• 26:31
  that,
• 26:31
  you
• 26:31
  know,
• 26:33
  you
• 26:33
  know,
• 26:33
  that's
• 26:34
  typical.
• 26:35
  You're
• 26:35
  supposed
• 26:35
  to,
• 26:36
  you
• 26:36
  know.
• 26:37
  Yeah,
• 26:37
  I
• 26:37
  thank
• 26:38
  my
• 26:38
  kids
• 26:38
  too.
• 26:39
  I
• 26:39
  did.
• 26:39
  But
• 26:40
  they
• 26:40
  didn't
• 26:40
  mind.
• 26:40
  We
• 26:41
  know
• 26:41
  they
• 26:41
  use
• 26:41
  the
• 26:42
  about
• 26:43
  and
• 26:43
  all
• 26:43
  the,
• 26:45
  you
• 26:45
  know,
• 26:45
  like
• 26:45
  all
• 26:46
  the
• 26:46
  things
• 26:46
  that
• 26:46
  might.
• 26:47
  So
• 26:47
  they
• 26:47
  don't
• 26:47
  know
• 26:47
  the
• 26:48
  contents
• 26:48
  of
• 26:48
  that.
• 26:49
  And
• 26:49
  even
• 26:49
  if
• 26:49
  they
• 26:49
  did,
• 26:49
  they
• 26:50
  may
• 26:50
  be.
• 26:50
  Oh,
• 26:50
  you
• 26:50
  know,
• 26:50
  maybe
• 26:51
  some.
• 26:51
  So
• 26:52
  there's
• 26:52
  a
• 26:52
  lot
• 26:52
  of
• 26:52
  the
• 26:53
  protection
• 26:53
  of
• 26:54
  the
• 26:56
  others
• 26:56
  that
• 26:57
  make
• 26:57
  it
• 26:57
  seem
• 26:57
  as
• 26:58
  though
• 26:59
  what
• 26:59
  you're
• 27:00
  experiencing
• 27:00
  is
• 27:00
  very.
• 27:02
  It
• 27:02
  sometimes
• 27:03
  feels
• 27:03
  very
• 27:03
  dismissed.
• 27:05
  And
• 27:05
  there
• 27:05
  is
• 27:06
  a
• 27:06
  lot
• 27:06
  of.
• 27:06
  I've
• 27:07
  had
• 27:07
  it
• 27:07
  worse.
• 27:08
  Right.
• 27:08
  Yeah.
• 27:10
  So.
• 27:10
  And
• 27:11
  you
• 27:11
  know,
• 27:11
  when
• 27:11
  we
• 27:12
  do
• 27:12
  that
• 27:12
  to
• 27:12
  people,
• 27:12
  it
• 27:13
  just
• 27:14
  really
• 27:16
  prevents
• 27:16
  people
• 27:16
  from
• 27:17
  getting
• 27:17
  help.
• 27:17
  It's
• 27:18
  not.
• 27:19
  There's
• 27:19
  no.
• 27:19
  You
• 27:20
  can't
• 27:20
  compare
• 27:23
  people's
• 27:23
  sorrow.
• 27:24
  It's
• 27:24
  just.
• 27:24
  We
• 27:25
  can't
• 27:26
  do
• 27:26
  that.
• 27:29
  No.
• 27:29
  And
• 27:29
  everybody
• 27:29
  reacts
• 27:30
  to
• 27:30
  things
• 27:30
  differently.
• 27:31
  Everybody
• 27:31
  have.
• 27:31
  Has
• 27:32
  a
• 27:32
  different
• 27:32
  layer
• 27:33
  of
• 27:33
  resiliency.
• 27:34
  Some
• 27:34
  people,
• 27:35
  you
• 27:35
  know,
• 27:35
  their
• 27:36
  parents
• 27:36
  could
• 27:36
  have
• 27:36
  been
• 27:36
  horrible,
• 27:37
  but
• 27:37
  they
• 27:37
  had
• 27:37
  a
• 27:37
  best
• 27:37
  friend
• 27:38
  that
• 27:38
  saw
• 27:38
  them
• 27:38
  through
• 27:38
  it.
• 27:39
  Yeah.
• 27:40
  And
• 27:41
  that
• 27:41
  could
• 27:41
  be
• 27:41
  the
• 27:41
  difference
• 27:42
  between
• 27:42
  growing
• 27:43
  up
• 27:43
  and
• 27:43
  feeling
• 27:44
  not
• 27:45
  worthy
• 27:45
  or
• 27:45
  not.
• 27:45
  If
• 27:45
  your
• 27:46
  friend
• 27:46
  was
• 27:46
  there
• 27:46
  to
• 27:47
  help
• 27:47
  you
• 27:47
  process
• 27:47
  that
• 27:48
  and
• 27:48
  process
• 27:48
  those
• 27:48
  emotions,
• 27:50
  then
• 27:50
  maybe
• 27:50
  that
• 27:50
  didn't
• 27:51
  get
• 27:51
  stored
• 27:51
  as
• 27:51
  trauma
• 27:52
  because
• 27:52
  she
• 27:53
  walked
• 27:53
  you
• 27:53
  through
• 27:54
  it.
• 27:54
  But
• 27:54
  if
• 27:54
  you
• 27:54
  didn't
• 27:55
  have.
• 27:55
  So
• 27:56
  every
• 27:56
  single
• 27:57
  person
• 27:57
  is
• 27:57
  the
• 27:57
  same.
• 27:57
  But
• 27:58
  I.
• 27:58
  I
• 27:58
  tell
• 27:59
  people,
• 28:00
  if
• 28:00
  you're
• 28:00
  not
• 28:01
  where
• 28:01
  you
• 28:01
  want
• 28:01
  to
• 28:01
  be,
• 28:02
  if
• 28:02
  you're
• 28:02
  not
• 28:03
  living
• 28:03
  happy,
• 28:04
  if
• 28:04
  you're
• 28:04
  getting
• 28:04
  those
• 28:05
  gut
• 28:06
  feelings
• 28:06
  of
• 28:07
  just
• 28:07
  tension
• 28:08
  and
• 28:10
  not
• 28:10
  happiness,
• 28:11
  then
• 28:11
  it.
• 28:12
  There's
• 28:12
  something
• 28:12
  worth
• 28:13
  exploring,
• 28:13
  if
• 28:14
  nothing
• 28:14
  else.
• 28:16
  Yeah,
• 28:16
  absolutely.
• 28:17
  Do
• 28:17
  it
• 28:18
  for
• 28:18
  yourself,
• 28:18
  do
• 28:18
  it
• 28:18
  for
• 28:18
  your
• 28:19
  health,
• 28:19
  do
• 28:19
  it
• 28:19
  for
• 28:19
  your
• 28:20
  kids,
• 28:20
  do
• 28:21
  it
• 28:21
  for
• 28:21
  whatever.
• 28:21
  But,
• 28:22
  you
• 28:22
  know,
• 28:22
  just
• 28:23
  so
• 28:23
  you
• 28:23
  can
• 28:23
  keep
• 28:24
  moving.
• 28:24
  You
• 28:25
  know,
• 28:25
  it
• 28:25
  is
• 28:27
  really
• 28:27
  important
• 28:28
  to
• 28:28
  listen
• 28:28
  to
• 28:29
  your
• 28:29
  body
• 28:29
  and
• 28:30
  living
• 28:30
  in.
• 28:31
  In
• 28:32
  pain
• 28:32
  and
• 28:35
  just
• 28:35
  to
• 28:35
  please
• 28:36
  people.
• 28:36
  My
• 28:37
  goodness.
• 28:38
  Yeah.
• 28:40
  And
• 28:40
  it's.
• 28:40
  And
• 28:41
  it's
• 28:41
  funny
• 28:41
  because
• 28:41
  I've
• 28:42
  done
• 28:42
  so
• 28:42
  much
• 28:43
  work
• 28:43
  on
• 28:43
  myself,
• 28:43
  but
• 28:44
  there's
• 28:44
  one
• 28:44
  issue
• 28:45
  that
• 28:45
  I
• 28:46
  know
• 28:46
  is
• 28:46
  just
• 28:46
  holding
• 28:47
  me.
• 28:47
  Like,
• 28:47
  I
• 28:47
  know
• 28:47
  it's
• 28:48
  holding
• 28:48
  me
• 28:48
  back.
• 28:49
  And
• 28:49
  it's
• 28:50
  so
• 28:50
  funny
• 28:50
  because
• 28:51
  I
• 28:51
  have
• 28:51
  one
• 28:51
  of
• 28:51
  those
• 28:52
  AO
• 28:53
  voice
• 28:54
  bio
• 28:54
  frequency
• 28:55
  scanners.
• 28:55
  I
• 28:55
  don't
• 28:56
  know
• 28:56
  if
• 28:56
  you've
• 28:56
  ever
• 28:56
  heard
• 28:56
  of
• 28:57
  them,
• 28:57
  but
• 28:57
  it
• 28:58
  literally
• 28:58
  analyzes
• 28:59
  your
• 28:59
  voice
• 29:00
  and
• 29:00
  it,
• 29:00
  I
• 29:00
  mean,
• 29:01
  95,
• 29:01
  98
• 29:02
  of
• 29:03
  everything,
• 29:03
  every
• 29:03
  disease,
• 29:04
  everything
• 29:05
  has
• 29:06
  an
• 29:06
  emotional
• 29:06
  stem
• 29:07
  to
• 29:07
  it
• 29:07
  somewhere
• 29:09
  so
• 29:09
  this
• 29:09
  little
• 29:10
  frequency
• 29:10
  thing
• 29:11
  analyzes
• 29:11
  your
• 29:11
  voice,
• 29:12
  and
• 29:12
  it
• 29:12
  literally
• 29:13
  will
• 29:13
  pick
• 29:13
  up
• 29:14
  everything.
• 29:15
  And
• 29:16
  I
• 29:17
  laugh
• 29:17
  every
• 29:18
  day
• 29:18
  because
• 29:19
  I
• 29:20
  wake
• 29:20
  up
• 29:20
  in
• 29:20
  the
• 29:20
  morning,
• 29:20
  I'm
• 29:21
  like,
• 29:21
  I
• 29:21
  do
• 29:21
  my
• 29:21
  stuff.
• 29:22
  I
• 29:22
  do
• 29:22
  my.
• 29:22
  You
• 29:22
  know,
• 29:23
  but
• 29:23
  every
• 29:24
  time
• 29:24
  I
• 29:24
  run
• 29:24
  this
• 29:25
  scan,
• 29:25
  it
• 29:25
  picks
• 29:26
  up
• 29:26
  on
• 29:26
  that
• 29:26
  one
• 29:27
  thing
• 29:27
  that
• 29:27
  I'm
• 29:27
  just.
• 29:28
  That
• 29:28
  if
• 29:28
  I
• 29:28
  think
• 29:28
  about
• 29:29
  it,
• 29:29
  it
• 29:29
  just
• 29:29
  makes
• 29:29
  my
• 29:30
  stomach
• 29:30
  clench.
• 29:32
  It's
• 29:33
  so
• 29:33
  funny.
• 29:33
  And
• 29:33
  it
• 29:33
  always
• 29:34
  will
• 29:34
  say
• 29:34
  things
• 29:35
  to
• 29:35
  me
• 29:35
  about
• 29:35
  that.
• 29:36
  And
• 29:36
  I.
• 29:36
  I
• 29:37
  laugh
• 29:37
  so
• 29:37
  hard
• 29:37
  because
• 29:38
  I'm
• 29:38
  like,
• 29:38
  I'm
• 29:39
  trying,
• 29:39
  so.
• 29:41
  But
• 29:41
  it's.
• 29:42
  It's
• 29:42
  something
• 29:43
  that
• 29:43
  will.
• 29:43
  Cause
• 29:44
  I
• 29:44
  need
• 29:44
  to
• 29:44
  make
• 29:45
  a
• 29:45
  big
• 29:45
  shift
• 29:45
  in
• 29:46
  order
• 29:46
  to
• 29:46
  change
• 29:47
  it.
• 29:47
  And
• 29:48
  I'm
• 29:48
  just.
• 29:48
  Again,
• 29:49
  that's
• 29:50
  why
• 29:50
  I
• 29:50
  say
• 29:50
  to
• 29:50
  people,
• 29:51
  are
• 29:51
  you
• 29:51
  living
• 29:52
  or
• 29:52
  are
• 29:52
  you
• 29:53
  thriving?
• 29:54
  Yeah.
• 29:54
  Because
• 29:55
  if
• 29:55
  you're
• 29:55
  standing
• 29:56
  here
• 29:56
  today,
• 29:57
  no
• 29:57
  matter
• 29:57
  what
• 29:58
  you've
• 29:58
  been
• 29:58
  through,
• 29:59
  you
• 29:59
  are,
• 29:59
  my
• 30:00
  friend,
• 30:00
  a
• 30:00
  victor.
• 30:01
  You're
• 30:01
  a
• 30:01
  warrior.
• 30:02
  If
• 30:02
  you're
• 30:02
  standing
• 30:03
  here
• 30:03
  today
• 30:03
  because
• 30:04
  you've
• 30:04
  survived.
• 30:04
  If
• 30:04
  you've
• 30:05
  survived
• 30:05
  the
• 30:05
  narcissism
• 30:06
  and
• 30:06
  you
• 30:06
  survived
• 30:06
  the
• 30:07
  neglect
• 30:07
  and
• 30:07
  the
• 30:07
  beatings
• 30:08
  and
• 30:08
  the
• 30:08
  abuse
• 30:09
  and
• 30:09
  the
• 30:09
  assault,
• 30:10
  you're.
• 30:10
  You're
• 30:11
  a
• 30:11
  warrior.
• 30:11
  But
• 30:12
  now
• 30:13
  it's
• 30:13
  time
• 30:13
  to
• 30:13
  thrive.
• 30:14
  Now
• 30:15
  it's
• 30:15
  time
• 30:15
  to
• 30:15
  let
• 30:16
  go
• 30:16
  of
• 30:17
  all
• 30:17
  the
• 30:17
  other
• 30:17
  things
• 30:17
  that
• 30:18
  are
• 30:18
  still
• 30:19
  creeping
• 30:19
  in
• 30:19
  and
• 30:20
  still
• 30:20
  taking
• 30:20
  hold.
• 30:21
  And.
• 30:21
  And.
• 30:22
  And
• 30:22
  it's
• 30:22
  just
• 30:22
  funny
• 30:23
  because
• 30:23
  I.
• 30:23
  I
• 30:23
  laugh
• 30:24
  and.
• 30:25
  I
• 30:25
  don't
• 30:25
  know,
• 30:25
  I
• 30:26
  just.
• 30:26
  Being
• 30:26
  in
• 30:26
  the
• 30:27
  other
• 30:27
  side
• 30:27
  is
• 30:27
  so
• 30:28
  much
• 30:28
  better.
• 30:29
  I
• 30:29
  mean,
• 30:29
  and
• 30:29
  that's
• 30:29
  the.
• 30:30
  The
• 30:30
  thing
• 30:30
  where
• 30:31
  you
• 30:31
  mentioned
• 30:31
  there's
• 30:32
  continuous
• 30:32
  growth
• 30:33
  in
• 30:33
  our
• 30:33
  life.
• 30:33
  Just
• 30:34
  because
• 30:34
  you've
• 30:34
  worked
• 30:35
  through,
• 30:35
  which
• 30:35
  I'm
• 30:36
  sure
• 30:36
  you
• 30:36
  have,
• 30:36
  it
• 30:37
  doesn't
• 30:37
  mean
• 30:37
  that
• 30:37
  there
• 30:38
  are
• 30:38
  other
• 30:38
  things
• 30:38
  that
• 30:38
  won't
• 30:39
  come
• 30:39
  up.
• 30:39
  But
• 30:39
  the
• 30:40
  great
• 30:40
  thing
• 30:40
  is,
• 30:40
  you
• 30:40
  know,
• 30:41
  that
• 30:41
  now
• 30:43
  you
• 30:43
  know,
• 30:44
  this
• 30:44
  is
• 30:45
  the.
• 30:45
  This
• 30:45
  stuff
• 30:46
  I
• 30:46
  can.
• 30:46
  I
• 30:46
  can
• 30:47
  manage
• 30:47
  and
• 30:47
  keep
• 30:48
  going.
• 30:48
  But
• 30:48
  the
• 30:49
  other
• 30:49
  things,
• 30:49
  maybe
• 30:50
  you
• 30:50
  couldn't
• 30:50
  have,
• 30:50
  you
• 30:51
  know,
• 30:51
  but
• 30:52
  you
• 30:52
  still
• 30:53
  recognize
• 30:53
  it
• 30:53
  and
• 30:53
  say,
• 30:54
  I.
• 30:54
  I
• 30:54
  need.
• 30:55
  I
• 30:55
  need
• 30:55
  to
• 30:55
  do
• 30:55
  this.
• 30:55
  But
• 30:56
  I
• 30:56
  will
• 30:56
  unpack
• 30:57
  this
• 30:57
  at
• 30:58
  some
• 30:58
  point.
• 31:00
  So,
• 31:01
  yeah,
• 31:02
  it's
• 31:03
  become.
• 31:03
  Even
• 31:04
  for
• 31:04
  me
• 31:04
  in
• 31:04
  the
• 31:04
  profession.
• 31:05
  Yeah.
• 31:05
  When
• 31:05
  I
• 31:06
  do
• 31:06
  know
• 31:06
  I
• 31:06
  need
• 31:06
  to
• 31:06
  see
• 31:07
  a
• 31:07
  therapist,
• 31:07
  I
• 31:08
  will.
• 31:08
  I
• 31:08
  definitely
• 31:09
  make
• 31:09
  my.
• 31:09
  You
• 31:10
  know,
• 31:10
  for
• 31:10
  me,
• 31:10
  it's
• 31:10
  sort
• 31:11
  of
• 31:11
  like
• 31:11
  a.
• 31:13
  A
• 31:14
  doctor's
• 31:14
  appointment.
• 31:14
  If
• 31:15
  you
• 31:15
  need
• 31:15
  to
• 31:15
  see
• 31:15
  one
• 31:16
  code.
• 31:16
  We're
• 31:17
  constantly
• 31:18
  wanted
• 31:18
  to
• 31:18
  heal.
• 31:19
  That's.
• 31:19
  That's
• 31:20
  part
• 31:20
  of
• 31:20
  life.
• 31:20
  We
• 31:21
  should
• 31:21
  want
• 31:21
  to
• 31:22
  be
• 31:22
  better.
• 31:23
  The
• 31:23
  other
• 31:23
  side,
• 31:23
  once
• 31:24
  you
• 31:24
  get
• 31:24
  there,
• 31:24
  you
• 31:25
  just
• 31:25
  feel
• 31:25
  like,
• 31:26
  oh,
• 31:26
  wow,
• 31:26
  this
• 31:26
  could
• 31:27
  have
• 31:27
  been
• 31:27
  me
• 31:27
  all
• 31:27
  along.
• 31:28
  Like,
• 31:28
  yes.
• 31:29
  What?
• 31:30
  Yes.
• 31:31
  What?
• 31:32
  Yeah,
• 31:34
  you're
• 31:34
  not
• 31:34
  meant.
• 31:35
  That
• 31:35
  story
• 31:35
  was
• 31:36
  not
• 31:36
  meant
• 31:36
  for
• 31:36
  you.
• 31:37
  That
• 31:37
  was
• 31:37
  not
• 31:37
  supposed
• 31:38
  to
• 31:38
  be
• 31:38
  it
• 31:38
  forever.
• 31:39
  Let's
• 31:40
  let's
• 31:40
  create
• 31:40
  another
• 31:41
  chapter
• 31:41
  of
• 31:42
  your
• 31:42
  life
• 31:42
  that
• 31:42
  can,
• 31:44
  you
• 31:44
  want
• 31:44
  to,
• 31:45
  to
• 31:45
  live
• 31:46
  in
• 31:46
  and
• 31:46
  enjoy.
• 31:47
  And
• 31:48
  you
• 31:48
  know,
• 31:48
  for
• 31:48
  some
• 31:49
  people,
• 31:49
  they
• 31:49
  don't
• 31:49
  even
• 31:50
  know
• 31:50
  what
• 31:50
  that
• 31:50
  feels
• 31:51
  like
• 31:51
  to
• 31:51
  like.
• 31:51
  And
• 31:52
  it
• 31:52
  can
• 31:52
  start,
• 31:52
  start
• 31:53
  whenever.
• 31:54
  Doesn't
• 31:54
  have
• 31:54
  to.
• 31:54
  You
• 31:55
  know,
• 31:55
  if
• 31:55
  you're
• 31:55
  50,
• 31:55
  50,
• 31:56
  60
• 31:56
  years
• 31:56
  old,
• 31:57
  I
• 31:57
  mean,
• 31:57
  I'm
• 31:57
  56.
• 31:58
  If
• 31:58
  you're
• 31:58
  sitting
• 31:58
  here
• 31:59
  going,
• 31:59
  oh,
• 31:59
  I'm
• 31:59
  50,
• 32:00
  it's
• 32:00
  too
• 32:00
  late.
• 32:01
  It
• 32:01
  is
• 32:01
  never
• 32:01
  too
• 32:02
  late,
• 32:02
  my
• 32:02
  friend.
• 32:03
  Yeah,
• 32:03
  I
• 32:04
  have
• 32:04
  kept
• 32:04
  a
• 32:04
  bunch
• 32:04
  of
• 32:05
  50
• 32:05
  something
• 32:05
  year
• 32:06
  olds.
• 32:06
  They're
• 32:06
  like,
• 32:06
  my
• 32:07
  gosh,
• 32:07
  how
• 32:07
  can
• 32:08
  this
• 32:09
  people
• 32:10
  affect
• 32:10
  me
• 32:10
  this
• 32:10
  much?
• 32:11
  Like
• 32:11
  it's
• 32:11
  been
• 32:12
  this,
• 32:12
  you
• 32:13
  know,
• 32:13
  my
• 32:14
  parents,
• 32:14
  how
• 32:14
  can
• 32:15
  they
• 32:15
  have
• 32:15
  so
• 32:15
  much
• 32:16
  impact
• 32:16
  on
• 32:16
  my
• 32:16
  life?
• 32:17
  It's,
• 32:17
  I'm
• 32:17
  50
• 32:18
  and
• 32:18
  I'm
• 32:18
  still
• 32:18
  experiencing
• 32:19
  the
• 32:19
  same
• 32:20
  stuff.
• 32:21
  Like
• 32:21
  that's
• 32:22
  not,
• 32:22
  you
• 32:22
  know,
• 32:22
  so
• 32:22
  I
• 32:22
  try
• 32:23
  to
• 32:23
  help
• 32:23
  them
• 32:23
  make
• 32:24
  sense
• 32:25
  because
• 32:25
  you
• 32:26
  know,
• 32:26
  you
• 32:26
  think
• 32:26
  as
• 32:27
  you
• 32:27
  grow
• 32:27
  older
• 32:27
  you're
• 32:28
  gonna
• 32:28
  get,
• 32:28
  you
• 32:28
  know,
• 32:29
  life
• 32:29
  is,
• 32:29
  yeah,
• 32:30
  I'll
• 32:30
  get
• 32:30
  wise,
• 32:30
  I'll
• 32:31
  get
• 32:31
  back,
• 32:31
  you
• 32:31
  know,
• 32:31
  all
• 32:31
  of
• 32:32
  these
• 32:32
  things.
• 32:32
  But
• 32:33
  we're
• 32:33
  emotional
• 32:34
  beings
• 32:34
  that
• 32:35
  we
• 32:36
  hold
• 32:36
  on
• 32:36
  to
• 32:37
  a
• 32:37
  lot
• 32:37
  of
• 32:37
  things.
• 32:37
  Even
• 32:38
  if
• 32:38
  we
• 32:38
  try
• 32:39
  it
• 32:39
  out,
• 32:39
  everything,
• 32:40
  our
• 32:40
  physiological
• 32:41
  response,
• 32:42
  all
• 32:42
  of
• 32:42
  this,
• 32:43
  our
• 32:43
  body
• 32:43
  does
• 32:43
  not
• 32:44
  forget.
• 32:46
  And
• 32:46
  so
• 32:47
  our
• 32:47
  brain,
• 32:48
  any
• 32:48
  things
• 32:49
  that
• 32:49
  trigger
• 32:49
  it
• 32:50
  gets
• 32:50
  us
• 32:50
  back
• 32:51
  to
• 32:51
  that
• 32:52
  childhood
• 32:53
  stuff
• 32:53
  that
• 32:54
  we
• 32:54
  experienced
• 32:54
  that
• 32:55
  we
• 32:55
  quite
• 32:55
  did
• 32:55
  not
• 32:56
  heal
• 32:57
  from.
• 32:57
  So
• 32:58
  yeah,
• 32:59
  never
• 32:59
  too
• 32:59
  late.
• 33:00
  Never
• 33:01
  too
• 33:01
  late.
• 33:02
  So
• 33:02
  that
• 33:03
  would
• 33:03
  be
• 33:03
  my
• 33:03
  best
• 33:03
  suggestion
• 33:04
  is,
• 33:05
  you
• 33:05
  know,
• 33:06
  first
• 33:06
  of
• 33:06
  all,
• 33:06
  just
• 33:06
  see,
• 33:07
  just
• 33:07
  be
• 33:07
  curious,
• 33:09
  ask
• 33:09
  yourself,
• 33:09
  you
• 33:09
  know,
• 33:10
  am
• 33:10
  I
• 33:10
  living
• 33:10
  my
• 33:10
  best
• 33:10
  life?
• 33:11
  Are
• 33:11
  there
• 33:11
  things
• 33:11
  that
• 33:11
  are,
• 33:12
  am
• 33:12
  I
• 33:12
  resentful
• 33:13
  about
• 33:13
  anything?
• 33:13
  You
• 33:13
  know,
• 33:13
  because
• 33:14
  those
• 33:14
  are
• 33:14
  the
• 33:14
  things
• 33:14
  that
• 33:14
  eat
• 33:15
  you
• 33:15
  up.
• 33:15
  Those
• 33:15
  are
• 33:15
  the
• 33:15
  things
• 33:16
  that
• 33:16
  cause
• 33:16
  the,
• 33:17
  the
• 33:17
  health
• 33:17
  symptoms.
• 33:19
  And
• 33:20
  you
• 33:20
  know,
• 33:20
  I
• 33:21
  remember
• 33:21
  I
• 33:21
  was
• 33:22
  talking
• 33:22
  the
• 33:22
  other
• 33:22
  day,
• 33:22
  we
• 33:23
  were
• 33:23
  talking
• 33:23
  about
• 33:23
  the
• 33:23
  cost
• 33:23
  of
• 33:24
  like
• 33:24
  what
• 33:24
  something
• 33:25
  cost.
• 33:25
  And
• 33:27
  when
• 33:27
  I
• 33:27
  was
• 33:27
  18,
• 33:28
  I
• 33:28
  had
• 33:28
  bleeding
• 33:28
  ulcers
• 33:29
  and
• 33:29
  was
• 33:29
  vomiting
• 33:30
  blood.
• 33:30
  Not
• 33:30
  really
• 33:31
  that
• 33:31
  healthy,
• 33:32
  but
• 33:32
  it
• 33:32
  was
• 33:32
  all
• 33:32
  from
• 33:32
  chronic
• 33:33
  stress.
• 33:33
  It
• 33:33
  was
• 33:34
  from.
• 33:35
  I
• 33:35
  know
• 33:35
  what
• 33:35
  it
• 33:35
  was
• 33:35
  from,
• 33:36
  but
• 33:36
  I
• 33:36
  didn't
• 33:37
  know
• 33:37
  that
• 33:37
  then.
• 33:38
  And
• 33:38
  I
• 33:38
  figured
• 33:39
  out
• 33:39
  over
• 33:39
  the
• 33:39
  next
• 33:40
  15
• 33:40
  years
• 33:40
  I
• 33:41
  put
• 33:41
  into
• 33:42
  like
• 33:42
  a
• 33:42
  thing
• 33:42
  trying
• 33:43
  to
• 33:43
  figure
• 33:43
  out
• 33:43
  what
• 33:43
  it
• 33:44
  cost
• 33:44
  me
• 33:44
  taking
• 33:45
  like
• 33:45
  two,
• 33:45
  one
• 33:45
  a
• 33:46
  day
• 33:46
  vitamin
• 33:46
  or
• 33:47
  one
• 33:47
  a
• 33:47
  day
• 33:47
  Nexiums
• 33:48
  and
• 33:48
  15
• 33:49
  Tums
• 33:50
  chewables
• 33:50
  a
• 33:50
  day
• 33:51
  for
• 33:51
  15
• 33:52
  years.
• 33:52
  And
• 33:52
  I'm
• 33:53
  like.
• 33:53
  And
• 33:53
  the
• 33:54
  thing
• 33:54
  came
• 33:54
  out,
• 33:54
  it
• 33:54
  caused
• 33:55
  it,
• 33:55
  said
• 33:55
  it
• 33:56
  cost
• 33:56
  you
• 33:56
  $15,952.
• 33:59
  But
• 33:59
  what
• 33:59
  it
• 34:00
  really
• 34:00
  cost
• 34:00
  you
• 34:00
  was
• 34:01
  years
• 34:01
  of
• 34:01
  your
• 34:01
  life
• 34:02
  of
• 34:02
  quality
• 34:02
  time
• 34:03
  and,
• 34:04
  and
• 34:04
  doctor's
• 34:05
  appointments
• 34:05
  and
• 34:05
  missed
• 34:06
  work.
• 34:06
  And
• 34:06
  I'm
• 34:06
  like,
• 34:07
  okay,
• 34:07
  chat
• 34:07
  dtp.
• 34:08
  I
• 34:08
  didn't
• 34:08
  ask
• 34:08
  for
• 34:09
  a
• 34:09
  session
• 34:09
  I
• 34:10
  just
• 34:10
  asked
• 34:10
  for
• 34:10
  a
• 34:11
  number.
• 34:11
  Like,
• 34:12
  are
• 34:12
  you
• 34:12
  for
• 34:12
  real?
• 34:15
  But
• 34:16
  prevention.
• 34:16
  And
• 34:17
  just,
• 34:17
  you
• 34:17
  know,
• 34:18
  and
• 34:18
  like
• 34:18
  you
• 34:18
  said,
• 34:18
  just
• 34:19
  baby
• 34:19
  steps
• 34:20
  and
• 34:20
  just.
• 34:21
  It's
• 34:22
  continuous.
• 34:23
  It's
• 34:23
  just
• 34:24
  every
• 34:24
  day
• 34:24
  I
• 34:24
  want
• 34:25
  to
• 34:25
  be
• 34:25
  a
• 34:25
  little
• 34:25
  better.
• 34:25
  You
• 34:26
  know,
• 34:26
  just
• 34:26
  say
• 34:26
  to
• 34:26
  yourself,
• 34:27
  every
• 34:27
  day
• 34:27
  I
• 34:27
  want
• 34:27
  to
• 34:27
  be
• 34:27
  a
• 34:28
  little
• 34:28
  better
• 34:29
  than
• 34:29
  I
• 34:29
  was
• 34:29
  yesterday.
• 34:30
  Yeah,
• 34:31
  you're
• 34:31
  right.
• 34:32
  You're
• 34:32
  right.
• 34:33
  And
• 34:33
  yeah,
• 34:34
  it's
• 34:34
  never
• 34:34
  too
• 34:34
  late.
• 34:35
  A
• 34:35
  lot
• 34:35
  of
• 34:35
  people,
• 34:36
  too,
• 34:36
  they
• 34:36
  come
• 34:37
  to
• 34:37
  my
• 34:37
  couch
• 34:37
  when
• 34:38
  they
• 34:38
  all
• 34:38
  of
• 34:38
  a
• 34:39
  sudden
• 34:39
  become
• 34:39
  parents
• 34:40
  themselves.
• 34:40
  Because
• 34:41
  it's
• 34:41
  amazing
• 34:42
  how
• 34:42
  we.
• 34:43
  We
• 34:43
  get
• 34:43
  triggered
• 34:44
  by
• 34:45
  our
• 34:45
  kids
• 34:45
  where
• 34:46
  all
• 34:46
  of
• 34:46
  a
• 34:46
  sudden,
• 34:46
  oh,
• 34:47
  my
• 34:47
  gosh,
• 34:47
  are
• 34:47
  we
• 34:47
  our
• 34:47
  parents?
• 34:48
  Are
• 34:48
  we.
• 34:48
  Are
• 34:48
  we.
• 34:50
  We're
• 34:50
  all
• 34:50
  that.
• 34:51
  We're
• 34:51
  doing
• 34:51
  the
• 34:52
  same
• 34:52
  thing.
• 34:52
  No,
• 34:53
  I
• 34:53
  know.
• 34:53
  You
• 34:53
  know,
• 34:54
  so
• 34:54
  those.
• 34:55
  Sometimes
• 34:55
  that's
• 34:56
  what
• 34:56
  it
• 34:56
  takes
• 34:56
  is
• 34:56
  having,
• 34:58
  you
• 34:58
  know,
• 34:58
  it
• 34:59
  shouldn't
• 34:59
  be
• 34:59
  that.
• 34:59
  You
• 35:00
  know,
• 35:00
  it
• 35:00
  shouldn't
• 35:02
  be.
• 35:02
  Ideally,
• 35:03
  shouldn't
• 35:03
  wait
• 35:03
  that
• 35:03
  long.
• 35:04
  But
• 35:04
  sometimes
• 35:05
  that's
• 35:05
  what
• 35:06
  we
• 35:06
  end
• 35:06
  up
• 35:06
  seeing
• 35:07
  ourselves
• 35:07
  as
• 35:07
  people
• 35:08
  that
• 35:08
  we
• 35:08
  never
• 35:08
  wanted
• 35:09
  to
• 35:09
  see
• 35:09
  ourselves
• 35:10
  at.
• 35:10
  Yep.
• 35:11
  And.
• 35:12
  And
• 35:13
  that's
• 35:13
  a
• 35:13
  whole
• 35:13
  nother
• 35:14
  episode.
• 35:14
  We
• 35:15
  talk
• 35:15
  so
• 35:15
  much.
• 35:15
  Like,
• 35:16
  we
• 35:16
  could
• 35:16
  go
• 35:17
  on
• 35:17
  and
• 35:17
  on
• 35:17
  about
• 35:17
  that
• 35:17
  because
• 35:18
  I
• 35:18
  know
• 35:18
  there's
• 35:18
  so,
• 35:19
  so
• 35:19
  many
• 35:19
  people
• 35:19
  that
• 35:20
  come
• 35:20
  to
• 35:20
  me
• 35:20
  are
• 35:20
  beating
• 35:21
  themselves
• 35:21
  up.
• 35:21
  Like,
• 35:22
  you
• 35:22
  know,
• 35:22
  their
• 35:22
  kids
• 35:23
  are
• 35:23
  5
• 35:23
  and
• 35:23
  6,
• 35:23
  and
• 35:24
  they're
• 35:24
  just
• 35:24
  still,
• 35:24
  you
• 35:25
  know,
• 35:25
  now
• 35:25
  just
• 35:25
  really
• 35:26
  trying
• 35:26
  to
• 35:26
  wrap
• 35:26
  their
• 35:26
  heads
• 35:27
  around
• 35:27
  things.
• 35:27
  And
• 35:27
  I'm
• 35:28
  like,
• 35:28
  you
• 35:28
  can't
• 35:28
  go
• 35:29
  back.
• 35:29
  So
• 35:30
  the
• 35:30
  best
• 35:30
  thing
• 35:30
  you
• 35:30
  can
• 35:30
  do
• 35:31
  for
• 35:31
  your
• 35:31
  children
• 35:32
  right
• 35:32
  now
• 35:32
  is
• 35:32
  to
• 35:33
  continue
• 35:33
  to
• 35:33
  heal,
• 35:34
  because
• 35:34
  they're
• 35:34
  going
• 35:34
  to
• 35:34
  see
• 35:34
  a
• 35:35
  happier
• 35:35
  you.
• 35:36
  They're
• 35:36
  going
• 35:36
  to
• 35:36
  see
• 35:36
  a
• 35:36
  you
• 35:37
  now
• 35:37
  that
• 35:37
  knows
• 35:37
  how
• 35:37
  to
• 35:38
  communicate.
• 35:38
  They're
• 35:39
  going
• 35:39
  to
• 35:39
  see
• 35:39
  you
• 35:39
  that,
• 35:40
  you
• 35:40
  know,
• 35:40
  and
• 35:41
  all
• 35:41
  of
• 35:41
  that
• 35:41
  is
• 35:42
  healing
• 35:42
  them,
• 35:43
  no
• 35:43
  matter
• 35:43
  what.
• 35:44
  So
• 35:46
  it
• 35:46
  ends.
• 35:46
  And
• 35:47
  you
• 35:48
  know
• 35:48
  that
• 35:49
  you're
• 35:49
  right.
• 35:49
  That's
• 35:49
  what
• 35:49
  they're
• 35:50
  going
• 35:50
  to
• 35:50
  remember
• 35:50
  from
• 35:51
  now
• 35:51
  on,
• 35:51
  that
• 35:52
  you
• 35:52
  actually
• 35:53
  take
• 35:53
  an
• 35:53
  initiative
• 35:54
  to
• 35:54
  get
• 35:54
  home
• 35:55
  that
• 35:55
  makes
• 35:55
  you
• 35:56
  so
• 35:56
  much
• 35:56
  different
• 35:57
  from
• 35:57
  the
• 35:57
  one
• 35:58
  who
• 35:58
  injured
• 35:58
  you.
• 35:59
  You
• 36:00
  are
• 36:01
  getting
• 36:01
  home.
• 36:02
  So,
• 36:03
  yeah,
• 36:04
  that's
• 36:04
  how
• 36:04
  we
• 36:04
  human
• 36:05
  generations,
• 36:05
  we
• 36:06
  start
• 36:06
  from
• 36:06
  ourselves
• 36:07
  first.
• 36:08
  Yeah,
• 36:10
  you
• 36:11
  got
• 36:11
  it.
• 36:11
  Well,
• 36:12
  this
• 36:12
  has
• 36:12
  been
• 36:12
  super
• 36:13
  fun.
• 36:13
  I.
• 36:14
  I
• 36:14
  hope.
• 36:15
  Yeah,
• 36:16
  I
• 36:16
  hope
• 36:16
  you
• 36:17
  do
• 36:17
  more
• 36:17
  of
• 36:17
  these
• 36:17
  and
• 36:18
  come
• 36:18
  on
• 36:18
  and
• 36:18
  guest
• 36:18
  on
• 36:19
  more
• 36:19
  shows
• 36:19
  and
• 36:19
  everything
• 36:20
  else.
• 36:20
  You're
• 36:21
  a
• 36:21
  natural.
• 36:22
  So
• 36:23
  if
• 36:23
  people
• 36:23
  want
• 36:24
  to
• 36:24
  find
• 36:24
  out
• 36:24
  about
• 36:24
  you
• 36:25
  want
• 36:25
  to.
• 36:25
  I'm
• 36:26
  going
• 36:26
  to
• 36:26
  put
• 36:26
  everything
• 36:26
  in
• 36:27
  the
• 36:27
  show
• 36:27
  notes,
• 36:27
  but
• 36:27
  what
• 36:28
  is
• 36:28
  the
• 36:28
  best
• 36:28
  place
• 36:29
  for
• 36:29
  them
• 36:29
  to
• 36:29
  reach
• 36:29
  you?
• 36:29
  Agatha?
• 36:30
  Oh,
• 36:31
  beautifulsunshinetherapy.com
• 36:34
  so
• 36:34
  that's
• 36:34
  the
• 36:34
  name
• 36:35
  of
• 36:35
  my
• 36:35
  practice
• 36:36
  is
• 36:36
  Beautiful
• 36:36
  Sunshine
• 36:37
  Therapy,
• 36:37
  or
• 36:38
  my
• 36:38
  Instagram
• 36:39
  as
• 36:39
  well.
• 36:40
  Beautiful
• 36:40
  Sunshine
• 36:41
  Therapy.
• 36:41
  So
• 36:41
  everything
• 36:42
  is
• 36:42
  just.
• 36:42
  Yeah.
• 36:46
  Places
• 36:46
  to
• 36:47
  find
• 36:47
  me.
• 36:47
  Yeah.
• 36:48
  Okay.
• 36:48
  Well,
• 36:49
  I
• 36:49
  love
• 36:49
  it.
• 36:49
  And
• 36:50
  can
• 36:50
  you
• 36:50
  leave
• 36:50
  the
• 36:51
  guests
• 36:51
  or
• 36:51
  the
• 36:52
  listeners?
• 36:52
  You're
• 36:52
  the
• 36:52
  guest.
• 36:53
  Sorry
• 36:53
  about
• 36:53
  that.
• 36:53
  With
• 36:54
  one
• 36:54
  last
• 36:54
  parting
• 36:55
  words
• 36:55
  of
• 36:55
  advice
• 36:56
  or
• 36:56
  something
• 36:57
  I
• 36:57
  can
• 36:57
  carry
• 36:57
  with
• 36:58
  them
• 36:58
  throughout
• 36:58
  the
• 36:58
  day
• 36:58
  to
• 36:58
  make
• 36:59
  their
• 36:59
  day
• 36:59
  a
• 36:59
  little
• 36:59
  brighter.
• 37:00
  Well,
• 37:00
  you're
• 37:01
  good
• 37:01
  enough.
• 37:02
  You
• 37:02
  are
• 37:03
  good
• 37:03
  enough.
• 37:03
  You
• 37:04
  are
• 37:04
  amazing.
• 37:05
  We,
• 37:06
  you
• 37:06
  know,
• 37:07
  remember
• 37:08
  that.
• 37:08
  And,
• 37:10
  yeah,
• 37:10
  talk
• 37:11
  to
• 37:11
  someone.
• 37:12
  Okay.
• 37:13
  It's
• 37:13
  okay
• 37:13
  to
• 37:13
  talk
• 37:14
  to
• 37:14
  someone,
• 37:14
  whether
• 37:15
  it
• 37:15
  be
• 37:15
  you're
• 37:16
  someone
• 37:16
  that
• 37:16
  you
• 37:17
  trust
• 37:17
  that
• 37:17
  necessarily
• 37:18
  needs
• 37:18
  to
• 37:18
  be
• 37:18
  a
• 37:18
  therapist,
• 37:19
  but
• 37:19
  a
• 37:19
  trusted
• 37:20
  person
• 37:20
  that
• 37:21
  you
• 37:21
  can
• 37:21
  just
• 37:22
  be
• 37:22
  yourself
• 37:22
  with.
• 37:23
  So,
• 37:24
  yeah,
• 37:25
  you're
• 37:25
  good
• 37:26
  enough.
• 37:27
  Perfect.
• 37:28
  So
• 37:28
  thank
• 37:28
  you
• 37:28
  so
• 37:29
  much
• 37:29
  for
• 37:29
  coming
• 37:29
  on.
• 37:30
  Okay.
• 37:31
  Yes.
• 37:32
  And
• 37:33
  for
• 37:33
  everybody
• 37:33
  else
• 37:33
  out
• 37:34
  there
• 37:34
  listening,
• 37:34
  you
• 37:34
  heard
• 37:34
  it.
• 37:35
  You
• 37:35
  are
• 37:35
  enough.
• 37:35
  How
• 37:36
  many
• 37:36
  times?
• 37:36
  I
• 37:36
  end
• 37:36
  my
• 37:37
  podcast
• 37:37
  by
• 37:37
  saying,
• 37:37
  you
• 37:38
  are
• 37:38
  way
• 37:39
  more
• 37:39
  than
• 37:39
  enough
• 37:39
  right
• 37:40
  here,
• 37:40
  right
• 37:40
  now,
• 37:41
  as
• 37:42
  you
• 37:42
  are.
• 37:43
  So
• 37:43
  with
• 37:43
  love
• 37:43
  and
• 37:44
  light,
• 37:44
  guys,
• 37:44
  I'll
• 37:45
  see
• 37:45
  you
• 37:45
  back
• 37:45
  next
• 37:46
  week.