Latest / Gentlemen Hour / Everybody Has a Top 5… But Ours Might Be INSANE

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Everybody Has a Top 5… But Ours Might Be INSANE · Gentlemen Hour

• Filthy P: Wow. Okay. You heard what he said. You hear what he said. That's a great way to get this one started. So our top fives. And hopefully one of these gets one of us canceled, brother. Not even a not even a hello. That's how hard I want to go. Hello, everyone. Hey, how you doing, Ug? How you doing? Hello, everyone. Shout out shout out to the Debye chapter. Shout out to Saskatoon. Yeah. Saska Watch Saskatoon gentlemen. Is that Saskatoon? Is that Canada? Yeah, Saskatoon, dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, got you. Uncle, did you know that everyone, and I mean everyone, has a top five list. Now a lot of people might not say it. They might not admit it. I know Desiree does. You know, you see something in your head, you you know, you you form lists, bro. So maybe nobody will admit it, but guess what? You know, these two gentlemen will. We can't keep our mouth shut. So tonight, tonight. Tonight we're gonna make it happen. You ever heard that song? we are ranking I think that's a different song. We are the little sway. We are ranking everything from T V moms to Jordan's, you know, the shoes. no no, I did put this on the list. Songs that you put on when you wanna go lock that door and get to work. Clock in if you know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about. I'm in for I'm here for you for I'm here for the gangbang. You know what I'm talking about, right? I'm here for the gangbang. and I just hope, Unc, that your lists, especially yours, because I know yours, you know, you're always a little bit off the wall, don't get you in trouble. I'm not worried about me. Hey, I I I've been in trouble. I w I came out of the womb in trouble, but you you're a good guy. See, I thought you were a good guy. Okay. hey, Uncle, let's let loose. Come on. All next on the gentleman's You what's at the top five of my all time things that you that you do is you drop the intro, bro. What are you drinking? Is that a white Russian? Boom. Hey, have you this is a white Russian. Have you seen that movie? It's called The Big Lebowski. Bro. Never heard of it. I mean The main character. The main character. He drinks these. Yeah, the achiever. A little Lebowski. Non stop. White Russian. White Russian. I was thinking about it. I was like, you know what? The other day, like last week, I was at the market. I'm like, I'm gonna grab me what is it, Bailey's? And today finally Desiree finally had some milk, some leche in that fridge. I said, Hey, this is go white Russian, especially because, you know, Russia's right now in the war. I'm like, you know, and I'm I know your route for Russia. So I Hey, I'm gonna go ahead and get me a white Russian. So here we go in that throwback, that throwback Beattie Boys podcast. Beattie Boys Universe Cup. All right, Uncle, come on, let's stop messing around. This ain't this ain't playtime, bro. This ain't this ain't Friday. This ain't the bowling league. This is serious. today, and this was this was at your request, kind of a little takeoff of the Mount Gent more, but a little bit more like modern, you know, like hey what are you talking about? This is our list, bro. This is our top five list. That's what we're doing today. Top five lists. It can be anything. You know what I mean? Like we said in the in the in the intro, it can be anything. So before we even start, instead of a first sip, I just had a couple crazy top fives just for you, unless you want me to answer. But these are the kind of You know, let's just get your juices flowing, bro. You know what I mean? Let's grease your wheels. So the first one for you, Unc. This is the this is considered technically first sip. First sip. No, first sip, homie. Yeah, my bad, my bad. first sip is like the it's always like the first sip. Okay. All right, Unc. You hydrated? Let's go. The top five people that you know personally that you would never let date anyone in your family. Or someone in your family. Well when I when I saw this one, I was like, man, I started naming off names. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Okay. You you're passing this say say pass. You can get you get two passes. You get two passes here today. Come on, bro. okay. So my top five of people I would never date let date someone in my family? Yeah. Is anybody from work. yeah, work people are Yeah. I'm not letting any any of those mofos around anybody in my family. Wait, wait, but why? They're in your profession. They're just you've seen their side you've seen the other side of them. the the work. You what? We we we have a lot of we have a lot of random conversations, bro, and they've told me some stuff. Some of have done some very questionable questionable actions, activities and immor immoralities. So we'll leave it at that. I'm not gonna tell you. I mean, they know who they are. I'm not saying what area of all the areas that I've been in. put me in a friend from high school. shit, we're not even playing. You're just jumping on it next. Bro, you're eliminating the whole the whole San Fernando Valley pretty much. Okay. So have anybody associated with my family. Number two is nobody from that you went to school with ever? Like not even Kent Pre K or anything. Ever, no, no. Nob nobody. Ever. Every dude you every dude down there is a creep, huh? All right. Yeah. Not even the not even from Head Start preschool when I was four years old. damn. All right. I'm gonna say, any friends of certain nephews that I have. Just guilty by association. If if you feel that it's you, maybe it is you. You know who you are. I know that's me. My boy Jaime. That's your boy. That's a nice guy. He's Hawaiian, bro. That guy's a sweetheart, but he doesn't need to be in involved with anybody in my family. Bro, he can cook. Imagine that was your, you know. Okay. If anything goes wrong, then it's gonna be awkward, bro. You know what I mean? that's nice. I should have known you were gonna go that angle. You don't want to lose a good friend. Come on, bro. Yeah. Okay, all right. All right. Then number five, I don't really have anybody. I would just say Anybody that was part of the family and then let's say they got divorced, they broke up. Mm-hmm. And then I don't need them trying to come back around trying to date somebody else in the family, you know? like trying to run it back with the cousin or something. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I have a question though, since you're just talking about that. so say I'm I'm I'm single back in the day and you have somebody that was dating Vic. he dumped her. But I'm like, hey, unc, what's up with that chica, bro? And then you're like, she's gonna be at the next Halloween party and I come over. You wouldn't let her date me? Or would that be bad on me, or would that be bad on her? Like who's who are you stopping? You know what mean? Fur first off, I I I don't know how I don't know if that if that were the case, I don't know how Victor would react. He might actually like unalive you. sh and he does look sad. And I mean he's a he's a he's a killer, bro. That's Yeah, he's like, isn't he like MMA or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. B B B B J. Jesus. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Like that that that's one of the reasons why I wouldn't want certain people. Okay. Hey, what are you doing here? Yeah, well pissed off and and then he's yeah, and then he's he just got out of Ju Juan's gotta be big picture. Jiu Jitsu training. Yeah, okay. So I thought it was more like you hating on the guys, but no, you're you're actually seeing the big picture and you're already seeing like, Okay, this could be okay, all right. Makes sense. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. And the la so that was the last one? Just anybody that was all fine. That had already done. Okay, perfect. Okay, how about this? That first one, yeah, you breezed through. That was good. Actually, you you you tripped me up. I didn't think you were gonna go that route. I thought you were gonna start naming creeps, but no, you were looking at the big picture. okay. Top five celebrities, guy or gal, that if the there's something unfortunate and you and Laura don't make it, who Who would you no no no no no No it's not even that it's worse than that Yeah it's not even that it's worse than that okay Top five celebrities guy or gal that you would lead your significant other for So say you know Ariana Grande comes over and knock on the door and she's like hey I heard Uncle lives here hey I've been following the show I'm ready I want my tryout I have a feeling you're out but I don't know but let's let's find out. So top five celebrities that you would leave for Hypothetical bro hypothetical hypothetical hypothetical and trapment on Hypothetical N A. Yes. yes see. Wait what? Number two. N A. Number three? NA. Number four? N A You and You've already Becky J You've already. that's the only one? That's the only one? That's the only one, bro. Like her, but she's like a little bit too like cutesy, you know what I mean? Like I want a woman, you know what I mean? Like I got I got dirty deep. No, no, I'm saying that's what I'm saying. Honestly, I'm not I'm not that into her. It's just kind of like she's a little goofball. You know what I mean? You better watch like you better watch the way you talk about your future aunt, fool. Chill out. And I don't know why you don't want to answer the other ones. You answer every other time. All right, let's go. Another one. Top five people. this is a good one. Top five people that okay, so it's it's Friday night. Again, uncles, of course. Where where's Uncle? Where's Dad? Where do you think he is? He's at the bar, bro. He's at the the Max Dinner. What's the local bar? No, what's the bar right there behind Chee Cheese? he's at Schooners. Schooner's there too, but the other one, there's an old school bar right behind the Chee's There's Schooners, and then across the street is Schoonerville. No, it's not that. Well you know, you're talking about Mables, Mables Roadhouse. Mables, Mables, Mables, Mabel. Mables crazy, bro. Shout out Mabel. Yeah, so Unk so Unk, shout out Mabel. I mean, I did some dirt back in there in the day. But hey, shout out Mabel's, but Unk, of course. Where do you find Unk? At Mables, right? Tipsy. Hey, hey, sir, you need to call an Uber. I'm I'm good. I'm good. I I got a I got a Ford F nine hundred. I'm good. I'm good. So what do you do? You take off, bro. What happens? Doo doo doop. I can't do siren, but you get pulled over. Boom. It's three AM by the time they finally process you. get into what is it county who is the first person you call once they say okay uncle Louie you can make your call now to bail you out who who are the top five people that you call the most reliable that you know yeah and be honest. Number one is number one is Becky G. Okay. I was about to say be honest and not be funny. Try not to be funny but here we go. Hey you number one I'll I'll I'll be I'll be as a side number one. Obviously Laura. You have to, right? Yeah. If she's like, you know what? I'm not answering this fool's call because he's stupid at Mabel's. I didn't want him to go. I'm gonna call Cass. I forgot about that. You have a built in adult as well that is not gonna judge you probably. Well, she might, but she'll at come back. Or either that or she's gonna be there with me. Yeah, I didn't even think of that. But I feel like she would be the cool I feel like she would be the cool head and be Hey Pops, like you're getting white. Come on, Dad, let me come on. I have to Yeah, yeah, yeah. after that it would be Rosie. yeah, your sister. Okay. So that's three. Then then it would be if not if not her, Adam. Adam? okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, good one. Okay. Adam I like. Adam's responsible. Would be who? Richard? It'd be Victor. Yeah. V So I don't even make the list? When do I get up on that S, bro? Well okay, you want me to call you? Hey, I'll call you first. I didn't think you were down on that to pick up. Hey, you hear that, Mike? I guess the bo rachos don't make the top five lists of emergency content. You know what? I'm gonna call Chuck. Actually, yeah, he's Let's keep it going. Five people no, I'm sorry. Five things you've done that your kids should never find out about. And if you don't want to You don't want to admit it, I'll let you take a pass. You got two passes today. No, bro. You don't you know how we do it? I'm just not gonna get into details. But number number one. Number one. Ninety nine point three percent of the stuff that I did on Seventh and McClay, that party house we used to have in in San Fernando Silmar area, ninety nine point three percent of the stuff they should never ever know about that went on in that house. that one Like somebody was dating the chick or whatever. Yeah, I remember I was dating that that that old chick. Okay. two, it would be half of eleventh grade. just half what the other driving the other half you were straight? The other half until you until you started. Once I started driving. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay. again, in the ninety percentile of the stuff I did on my in my in my free time during twelfth grade. Jesus man. How the hell did you graduate? I barely graduated, bro. I told you the story. I almost didn't. I had it like I couldn't I ended up having to stay in school for the last like six weeks, I think. I couldn't ditch anymore at all. Like at all. and then just probably the graffiti years in middle school and the shoplifting years before I got or I got caught. Or actually probably when I got caught. Yeah. I okay. We gotta hear that story one day, but okay, that was four. Is there any more? That's five. That's five. Okay. That's good. Yeah, yeah. The last two were graffiti, the graffiti days and then the shoplifting days. Damn, bro. Yeah, that tagging, bro. That's that's not a good thing, brother. That's not a good thing. Yeah, destruction. Okay. all right, perfect. Look at that okay, you went through that easy. Look, I threw some Threw a little windy road at you and you took that with ease, bro. You were drifting on that sucker. Nice. I took it on the hips. Hell yeah. Damn, man. It's hard to trick you up, trip you up. Okay. Let's get to it now. We're gonna do the ultimate top five lists. Let's just let's write it out, Uk, and let's let's see where it goes, okay? This is both of us. So, but some of these I was like, I was struggling to get five. So some of them I might not get five, but but let's get started. The top five. TV moms. And you could take this how you want it. Maybe a mom that you wanted to be like your mom or you thought was cool. Or maybe a mom that was hot that you're like, damn, that's a that's a that's a MILF. That's a mom I wanna, you know what I mean? Like however you want to play it. Give me your top five moms. My my top five, bro, my top five did not go in in in order of of attractiveness or or or lust. It was more, I think, just a respectable character that had good traits and given the circumstances kind of maintained their composure and and their whole just the whole being of being a mom, bro. number one for sure, bro, Norma Arnold, fool from The Wonder Years. I forgot about old Dickie. Old Dickie. I mean great. Dealing with a with a kid that was coming up Transitioning from a teenager to a man, dealing with the with the with the changing world, bro, as far as like women's rights and and women empowerment. Dealing with a husband that was, you know, he was very, very old school, very, you know, demanding, very, I'm the man, you're the woman, that type of stuff. Having three kids that were totally different. And then ended up going back to school, ended up, you know, getting your career going. So so that was very that was probably my number one. Okay. Number two, but what was our name? Sorry, what was her name again, the first one? Nor Norma Arnold. It was Norma, Norma. Okay, okay. Bro, you stole you stole Peggy from me, but go ahead. All right. I didn't steal nothing, bro. Come on, bro. How could you you can't even argue Peggy? Peggy Bundy is just supreme. She was hot. She was she was she wasn't a great mom, but she loved her kids and eventually loved her husband every now and then. But I mean for sure. Yeah, and I feel like she always got the job done. You know what I mean? Yeah, it didn't seem like she gave a crap, but that was cool. She'd be cooking member, like frying something on the frying pan and smoking right there over it. Like she didn't give a fuck with a martini or something. Like she was And never wanted to work. Bon bons. Yeah, hell yeah. But you're right. Damn, brick house. Okay. Number three. Number three, Claire Claire Dunfey from Modern Family. We just had a me and Desiree had a conversation about that because on mine I picked the other mom from that show. And then we were both like, Yeah, but Claire's dope too. She was funny, bro. Yeah, Claire well Claire was good looking, bro, funny. Yeah. She dealt with Phil, Phil's nonsense. Who else who was? number four, Marge. Marge Simpson. I again I don't know The Simpsons, so okay. I don't even know who that is. I never watched Simpsons. And number five is Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. that one came up for us too, but I never saw that show. What? good lord. You are you were deprived. All right, that was your five? Yes, sir. Well, you took mine, so my first was Peg, of course, too, and Mary with Children. just for pure comedy and you're right for other stuff. Okay. Number two. Do you remember and this is not in order of favorites either. It's just it is what it is. do you remember Kitty from the seventies show, The Mom? hell yeah. Yeah, Kitty Foreman. Shh yeah, she was cool, bro. She was funny and she was She was hilarious, dude. And then her always drinking too, always like that was cool. Sneek it off to the kids. Then her laugh. Yeah. And she was a little a little shorty. Yeah, she was a little shorty too that could get the work get the job done. All right. Next one. Lois, bro, from Family Guy. Even you said she was hot. Come on. yeah, she was hot, yeah, yeah. She was hot, bro. Lois. Okay. So that's there you go. She was too she too hot repeater. Yeah, but you know, Peter had that good personality, brother. you brought up modern family, but you don't bring up the the real hot mama in that in that modern family? Bro, Gloria. Come on, with little Manny, remember? Little little little Manny out control? Bro, come on. She was hot butt? She was hot butt. She wasn't better than Claire. who am I my God. I did Family Guy twice. All right. This is my last this is my last one. And honestly, I'm a little bit shocked that you didn't come out with this. Angie. Angie? from George Lopez. No, no, yeah. She w Come on, bro. She I she was my pick on that other other list we made. She's your pick on every damn list we do, bro. That's why I'm shocked you don't ever you didn't pick her. Okay. So those are my change it up. All Yeah, yeah, that's cool. I love it. I love it. Okay, how about this? Let's really change it up. Let's go from hot moms to hot snacks. Top five snacks. This is just like you're chilling on the couch. It's a Sunday. It's in between. Maybe it's after early breakfast and you're like, I need I need something salty in this mouth. You know what I mean? I want to fill this mouth with something salty to watch the Yeah. You know what I you know, you know what I'm talking about. So hit me look hit me, or do you want me to go first? I can go. All right. Number five snacks. Number one. The chili picante cornets. The yellow bag, homie. damn. You know what? You just came out of left field with that one. But you're right. Those are fire, bro. Those are since the night. Yeah, but then your hands are all full of that j the gunk. But all right. It's all right, bro. That's why God invented soap, homeboy. My bad, my bad. Number two, you munchos, bro. You remember munchos? Is that like almost like popcorn or something? Like caramel popcorn? They were like potato crisps. no, those are. They were like chips, but they were like air fried or I something like those are bullshit. What bro, you'll get just go get funions if you want like that fried almost you know what I mean? Come on, brother. Funions are different, bro. Funions are totally totally one's potato and one's onion. this is in case Laura's watching baby carrots, bro. Wait, what? I hope you're talking about drenched in ranch, because who wants just a baby carrot, bro? What are you gonna do with the Bro, you never baby carrots are are on fire, bro. Nice cold. Okay, I have one question then for you. How do you eat them? Just pop in one at a time. Why you dip them in ranch and smother them on your face? Mm mm. So you can eat plain. I do too. So you grab that little mother effer, you grip it, you grip it and rip it, but what you do is you bite so that you leave the core, the middle. So you bite around it like this. And then once you like split it, you can almost peel the whole outside. It's almost like a layer. You can peel that off, eat that, and then you have a little skinny piece. That's the core. All the flavor and the juice comes out of that sucker, bro. Try it one time. The fact that you haven't done that scares me. When she's put a sack. Bro, you put a zap. You eat your you eat your food. You eat your food like a like a squirrel. Hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna open the door because maybe the Wi-Fi signal can't go through the door or something. Maybe that's why it's bad. Hey, number four, Persian cucumbers. What the f what are you talking about, bro? I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. Just cause you don't know it doesn't make bad, bro. You uncultured you uncultured swine. I you're Doritos, bro. But wait, wait, wait, hold on. We're talking about snacks. What are you gonna do? Wait, what'd you say? A cucumber? A cuc? A pepino? What are you gonna do with that? You never had a Persian cucumber sliced? wait, is that the one? No, I've had an Armenian cucumber and you no no. I've had the Armenian cucumber and you can eat it. I thought they were Persian. The real light ones that you can eat the skin and everything, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, those are Armenian Armenian. Babe. What are those cucumbers that you could just eat whole like remember I grew them one time and you could just literally the s the skin is like part of the nobody knows. She said they're English. She probably said Persian. no, nobody knows. No, bro. We're gonna we need to fact check that because I'm about I'm about a thousand percent sure that it's it's Armenian cucumbers. Okay, bet me then. Put your money where your mouth is. Who me? No. Well, you too. Both of you after she's done, yeah, you're up. Hey, why did she say Persian? And that's why you don't agree with it? No, she doesn't agree with me. Do you think it's Persian? she's looking it up, so we'll find out. Okay, we'll get a real life update. Let's move on. Okay, that was your fourth. What's your last one? The Doritos. Pretty much any flavor. After all that crap, now you're gonna come with something legit, Doritos. nice. All right, okay. All right, here's mine. these are my snacks, boy, not yours. Yeah, but I want you to have fun, bro. I don't want you to be sitting there with cukes. I don't need to have fun, bro. I I like I enjoy that snack. It's it's healthy. Okay. But what happened if I come up to you and I give you I have two things in my hand. I stick a cucumber in your mouth or I stick some cheez it's in your mouth or I stick some cheeses in your mouth. Which one are you gonna prefer? Beyond I don't even know why you're feeding me, but yeah. If you if you're feeding me, I'm gonna I'm just gonna I'm gonna accept it. I'm gonna embrace it and and let it go, bro. Let it be what it's gonna be. Yeah, that's called taking it. You say you'll take it. Okay. So nothing about Armenian, then there's something else. You're not seeing it. Okay, top five snacks. I mean Cheez-Its. Cheez-Its, bro. Little how do you get so much How do you get so much flavor and just zest in those tiny little squares? It's not even possible. And that let me tell you how to eat those two, because you apparently don't know how to eat foods, brother. Or snacks. Sorry, not foods. You get the cheeses. And if you look at it, if you if you lay it this way flat ways, You'll see little bubbles from when they were cooking it. It bubbled up. So what you do is you go put in your mouth and scrape off that little air bubble, eat that little part, look at it, and then throw it in and finish it off. But once you once you throw it in too, don't just start chomping on it. Suck on it a little. Get a little wet and then chew it. gr bro, it is so good. Next one. Skittles, bro, because come on, bro. Hey, let me hey, you got some skits, homie? Yeah, yeah, I got some skits right here for you. Skittles are Skittles are everybody's favorite from the time, you know, from the time I was a baby. Yeah, I was getting Skittles. Next one, this one, because I'm trying to get a little bit healthy, you know what I I'm trying to trying to get that get that figure back. PETA, pita chips, and hummus, bro. Have hummus is a low key killer. I don't know if you've had it. The Stacy's the Stacy's pita chips? No, the the ones that are like triangles. Like Jay-Z? They're like Kickback, Jay-Z, the Rock. It's the rockin' here. Gay-Z Cocafella record. Okay. And and hummus is fire. Hummus is fire. Hummus is fire. Yeah, that's a good little snack. Okay. And how about this? Sunflower seeds, but not just regular, but I I will get down some regs, but give me the sweet and spicy. my god. And you know what? You can't even find them in liquor stores anymore. It's rare. As Desiree, we all the time. I'm like, hey, you ever You ever walk into a a liquor store and you see some sweet spicies, you grab everything off the rack. You take all ten, you take all twelve. no, it's David. David David sweet and spicy? It's purple and orange. Purple and orange is the the cover, but it's sweet and spicy. Cause we we used to mess with the with the bigs. red hot sauce or something? Yeah, they're yeah, they're okay. Yeah, I don't like all that craziness. I've had I've had those pickle ones, I've had yeah, I've had a couple ones, but bro, sweet and spicy, because think about it. That's like me. That's like us. I'm sweet, you're spicy. You know what I mean? Like literally, bro. Come on, brother. Yeah. Okay. sunflower seeds, and then my last one, because I just try to keep it real in these streets, Cheetos. Cause I just right now I'm on a Cheeto kick, like regular cheese, Cheetos? A tuna sandwich, bro? You get Cheetos and you stick them all inside the sandwich? bro. Flaming hot, bro. No, chicken. I I never got into all that whole flaming hot scene, but Cheetos are that's that's my main go-to. Okay. How about this one, brother? Speaking of you being getting that DUI at Mabel's, what do you do if you actually don't get a DUI and you w you're you you want a grub after at 2 a.m.? You want that that that greasy food where you going What are the your or not where are you going? What are your top five meals? What are you eating? Yeah, what are you eating? What are you eating? If it's if it's two AM and I'm and I'm a little I'm a little tipsy, Hell yeah, I'm having an Armenian cucumber. Hey, all right, number one. For real. For real. Is is Tommy's bro. the original, yeah? Double cheeseburger, no chili, with chili cheese fries. shit. Ooh. Damn, okay. That's a good But yeah, it's worth it at the time. Okay. Yeah. All right, what what's the number two? Cold cold or room temperature pizza. Wait, why not just hot pizza? Because I I I've had it where we're I think we we watched like the UFC or something ordered pizza. And then we went to a bar. And then I came home and it was like It was like two in the morning, dude, or something like that. And I walked in, I was like, and there was like a s there was a box of pizza in the kitchen. I think it was like Pizza Hut. I was like, I grabbed the salad. my god, it was like the best thing I ever did. I'm just sitting there at two in the morning in the kitchen eating pizza. Turn out actually Yeah, actually you're right. Some of the pizzas that are kind of cold like that, it actually sometimes even taste better. Little Caesars, bro, room temperature? Like at a party? Yeah. Fire, dude. Yeah, no, I'll take little Caesars any day. I'll take it. Sometimes it's been it's been left out for three days. It deserves, don't eat. And I'm like, I guess it's room temp, girl. Come on. Give it to me. Perfect. Get out of way. tacos, bro, from like like a st like street tacos. yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Number four, Jack. Okay. Maybe maybe their tacos. okay, okay. And a and a ha and a regular hamburger, a small order of fries and a coke. Yeah, you got your whole menu. Fire. Okay. Yeah, dog. okay, if that's your five. My first probably because if you ask Desiree, it's Jack. It's always Jack. Like when we go home from the bowling alley, if I'm not completely stuffed from the if somebody got pizza or my pretzel, hey babe, can we stop at Jack? And right now, luckily now my order's starting to go down. It used to be like eight things, bro. Like I wasn't playing around. One time I tried to order the the worker. I was like, Hey, can I buy you too? Like a Throw everything in the cart, girl. You know what I mean? Like I don't play around I don't I don't play around when I go there. I I try to buy it up. So but now I got it under control. Now I do the what is it? The Yumbo Yak. What is your boy from? Your boy say? The Yumbo Yak, your boy is to kill. Yeah, the Yumbo Yak and then I'll usually 'cause my son was here so I'd get four tacos 'cause I I'd kill two and I know he would kill two when I get home. So but if it's just me, Yumbo Yak and two tacos, bro, I'm I'm Golden. Okay, so that's my first meal. That's always a go-to. One that I used to go to when I was like in my twenties and we would always go out partying and stuff around here is we would go to Del Taco and I would get those little chicken soft tacos and I would I'd probably eat about a good fifth fifteen of them, bro. I would stuff it two bites, bro. God damn. And I'm drunk. I was going crazy on those, bro. Okay, so that that's my second. That's my number two. Number three. What am I trying to think? You know what? I'm gonna go street tacos too, because there's just not a lot up here and I don't do it as much anymore. But back in the day when we would be in the valley and all that partying, yeah, we would always go and you know, right there in Silmar. They were all over and they were and you just sit there and wait, and then damn, you you could put as much salsa, whatever you want on them, and just okay. So yeah, that I'm gonna go with that too. shit, babe, what's my drunk food? What do I eat? Pete. That's why I told him Jack in the Box. But that's it, huh? Yeah, I'm gonna have to cut that one short. Taco Bell. now I I'm not a big fan of Taco Bell, but all like her kid and all these other kids are all like they love Taco Bell. So they're always like, We'll have dinner, bro, we'll have dinner at like six o'clock, seven o'clock, a big full meal, and then by nine o'clock these folder, Hey, anybody wanna go to Taco Bell? And I'm like, Yeah, okay. But for me that my order now is. Anybody goes, I'm getting give me two soft tacos and two hard tacos. I'm good. you know what I mean? So all right, those are my those are my lists. and now you're getting me hungry. Babe, are you tired or you want to go back downstairs? No. No, I could have tired. Okay. All right. How about this one? This one was yours, and I don't know if I have five for this, but I thought it was funny, so I want to hear what yours are. I might not have any. Signs that the party is over. Top five. actually, I can answer. I got a couple. Easy number one, bro. When the when the popo show up. I was about to do a sirens. I can't do a sirens. Yeah, cue the sirens. Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. That's always the instant instant. number two. When the perverted family member starts creeping on certain people. no, you froze again. okay, sorry. I froze again. Okay. Number three, number three when there's no more beer. that does that not suck? my gosh. Yeah, and everyone's too drunk to go get Yeah, or it's too late, depending on where you're at. Or it's too late. yeah, yeah, yeah. Or it's too late. God. Babe, can you go check and see if there's anything in the cabin? we got some We got some some Mad Dog 2020. Bring it out. Bring it out with some leather cleaner or some floor wax. Yeah. Bro, when you're that desperate, yeah. Okay, that's a perfect one. Yeah, when the beer is out or the keg. Remember back in the days the keg, all right guys, it's over. Yeah, someone remember that movie? What was it? It was like that seventies movie, remember, and they're all popping the keg at that party and then all of a sudden they're like, keg's out, and everyone like throws their cups down, someone throws a cup on it, like the party just breaks the party breaks up. Party's done. Yep. Okay. All right, good. That's three. Number four, when the D when the DJ's done, they say only you only paid him for four hours and it's four hours, he's out. Yeah, family party, huh? And then you gotta just put on tunes, but it's not the same. Yeah, it's not the same, not the same vibe. Number five, a fight breaks out, homeboy. da bro, you probably had all these then, huh? Because it's like you came up with this list easy. A fight, of course, remember? That's how my party broke up three years. I've been part of it. I mean come on, bro. I can tell you some stories. We can have a party episode. What do you think? Is that what do you think about that whole scenario? Is that disrespectful to break up somebody's party with a fight? Or is it, hey, if you gotta fight, you gotta fight? Or should you think about like I'm at somebody's party? It's a little bit of both, bro, because I'm not I'm not w I'm not I'm obviously I I don't know if you notice, but I'm not I'm very passive. I'm not aggressive. I'm not one to like, I'm gonna go mess that fool up, blah, blah, blah. Like, nah, right for what? Especially at my age, bro. I'm in I'm I'm in my mid forties, bro. I'm not I don't need to be fighting anybody. I'm I'm those way behind me. But what happened if you like what what happened though if you went to a party and found out like yeah I think that uncle was talking crap about my dad. Would you go fight him? That doesn't involve me, bro. What are we gonna go to? Not that that would ever not that that would ever happen, right? Hypothetically. Hypothetically. Okay. All Sorry. What were you gonna say? You riled up easily, huh, homeboy? Nah, I mean I like I I feel like like like you you don't need to be a punk, but at a certain point, like like who are you dealing with, bro? Like who am I gonna deal with that I need to go fight at a party? Right, right, right, right, right. the most of the parties I rolled up with, for sure, I'm gonna be with Laura. Yeah. If we have the kids, we're rolling four for sure. Yeah. Like I'm not trying to fight in front of the kids. Like, it'd be like, what the hell's wrong with my dad? Like Yeah. He's never violent. Especially around kids, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect. All right. Was that fine? Check the calendar, bro. You're too old to be doing a lot of stuff. Bro, that was good, man. I I honestly w every time you said one, I was like, yeah, that's perfect. Yeah. Nice, bro. Nice. Was that was that four or five? That was five? That was five. Okay. How about this one? We talked about this one a little bit earlier yesterday in the text, but movies That are so good have hit you in that, you know, that spot that just like, you know what I'm saying? Look at the movies in my back, my background, those type of movies, right? Stuff that just gets you going. If you had this device and they said, hey, like Men in Black, click this, and you will instantly, whatever happened, my light up. My light up. you will instantly forget about that movie so that you can. rewatch it anytime you want and it'll be like the first time. Cause how many you will never experience a movie like that first time. You know what I mean? Like every time after that you already know. You already know. So what are those movies for you that you're like, damn if I could erase my memory and then I'm gonna look for my pen. Go for it. I I only have four. number one that came to my list right off the first as soon as you said it, as soon as I read it, I mean, I was like, dude, the the one movie for sure that I would I would love to rewatch is Forrest Gump. Why reached I would completely erase it and just watch go into it knowing I've never seen it, watch it as an adult. Because the first time I watched it I was a teenager. I don't think I I don't think I appreciated it when I first watched it. But it spoiled it for you because now you always know. Yeah. Yeah. And then as an adult, my God, it blew my mind, bro. Like the feelings, the the emotions and then the just the way it the just the way everything is Perfect, bro. That's a perfect movie for f in my opinion. You know what I mean? And I'm like, dude, I would love to be able to watch it now as a middle aged man for the first time. Family man watching this. Yeah. Damn family man. Okay, cool. Yeah. Perfect family. Number two, dumb and dumber. Just to experience that the the the the silliness, bro, all over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Perfect. Rocky I think. I w yeah. Just to experience him coming up, bro. I experienced it as a kid. I didn't I didn't appreciate it. But Rocky I? I mean, I feel like I both saw that as a kid, as a teenager, and as an adult. Still the same. Now Rocky IV. Yeah, but you heard her when you saw it. Now Rocky IV The the club. Now we're talking. Okay, so Rocky One, okay. Was that your Rocky One. Fourth? Rocky One. And then no, that's my third. My fourth is a movie called Noel Noel Holtz Bard. Is that a wrestler the wrestling movie with like rowdy pipe? That's what Hulk Hogan where where he fights Zeus, right? When I saw it, I was full blown, full blown. Heavy into wrestling. It was probably the one of the greatest movies I had ever seen at the time. Yeah. And and I I watched it as an adult and I was like, dude, this j this is so corny. This is cheesy. This is just really bad. Right, right, right. But I w now I would want to watch it as an adult and just be like, what the hell is what is this crap? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I forgot about this. Yeah. I don't have a fifth one. Alright. Well that's cool. That's good actually good. You kinda went like ex You kinda went like exotic. I just went with my top four movies that I can't I've already seen a hundred times. And if I could watch one of them, any of them, for the first time again as an adult, it would drive me crazy. Number one, Bronx Tale, because I watched it as a kid and I loved it as a kid, but then even as an adult, it's even hits harder, how you said. But I already know every time what's gonna happen. So it's like, you know, yeah, I love it, but it's never like that first time. What about our classic La Bamba, bro? Like imagine if I just saw that movie right now, I probably would just I I don't know what I would do, bro. I'd be crying for ten days of the You know I mean? Discover Bob as a in your in your in your as a middle aged man? Yeah. You know what? I think as an older man I wouldn't even I would be more into the whole Richie dying and the no father and Baba would just be like, whatever. As a kid, I was like, This mama crazy and I feel like I kind of knew that. And I I knew a couple uncles that were Semi like him, you know what I mean? Like, I don't Yeah, like not full on, but you know, they had Bob it they had Bob traits. But so La Bamba, and then of course, Rocky Four. But I don't I'm sorry, that's probably my favorite movie of all time of any genre. So any if I could watch it again as an adult, well, actually, you know what? This one might be reversed. It might be one that's just better as a kid. I don't know. I don't know. Actually, no, because I love it the same right now. So yeah, that's Let me ask you this. Come on. I should be him for Halloween, bro. You should. maybe not. I'd have to paint I'd have to like paint my paint my abs on. Yeah. Wait, who you gonna who are you gonna be? Apollo Creed? Babe. Somebody else said I'm dark. I said I was gonna hear he said? I would never say that. I was be Rocky IV for Halloween. He said, no, it should be Apo Apollo Creed. Yeah. I told you this is a new unc, bro. You gotta be all I gotta play I gotta start playing. I'll be the trainer. I'll shave my head. Mick wasn't even bald. Hey, Mick was dead by then, bro. you'll be the black dude. Actually you would be better, Rocky, because you actually have hair, bro. And I would be better as the the trainer. Or I'll be poly, bro. I'll be poly. I'll just be drinking and and messing around with that robot. Hey, I'll go blonde. I'll grow it up. Heads up, you're conditioning unstable. Move closer to your route. yeah yeah, I don't know. I hope this doesn't I hope this doesn't mess up. Now I'm getting nervous. Okay, Unc let me go to my last one. Major League. Just because man, the same thing. That's probably just right behind Rocky Four for me. I've watched that movie probably a thousand tim no ten thousand times. And I'll watch it again tonight if I have to. Just to hear Wild Thing One w for the first time, huh? Wow. and you know When Wild Thing comes on, I replay that like five times. I rewind, rewind, rewind. Sky's the out you've been waiting your whole life for That's the best part of the movie. about this how about this one? 'Cause I don't have anything. Well, maybe I do, but what makes you feel old now? Give me a top five things that make you feel old right now. Actually, yeah, I do. Number one number one is kid is is the kid slang nowadays. Mm-hmm. Hundred percent. It's like to me it's it's lame. It's happy. Yeah, that's what I say. That's what I say. Yeah. It's like, bro, you what are you even saying? Like that's that's dumb. And then half of them they don't even know the meaning. What was that? Six seven remember you were all but hey, remember though, if anybody wants to go back to like the first ten episodes, all Unc said was six seven. Six seven. Six seven, six seven. I'm like, I never said that fool. I'm like, we gotta cut that, bro. It's already like that shit's been three years ago. That was during COVID. That's during COVID. But you're right, you're right. Lingo. Lingo. Okay. All right, cool. Perfect. That's a good one. Lingo. Slang. I agree. Slang. today's music, bro. And it's not it's not it's not no no, it's not it's not that I consider it bad. Right. It's that I find myself complaining about it. What do you mean, like babe, turn that off. Like I don't like it, like Like you ever you ever listen to the radio and they just play the same song over and over and over and over and over? Yeah. And then it's like you hear you hear it on the kiss at them. You hear I'm like yeah, that's what and then I I think the fact that I complain about it, because when I was younger, I would hear people complain. Like my pops would complain about rap music. that's not music, blah, blah. And and I was like, man, this he doesn't know. Now it's like now I I that's why I feel old. Not that the music's bad. I just feel bad because I complain. Right. But but even think about that music, how you said if you think about it, yeah, rap was trash. compared to what they were listening you they were listening to everything with beats and all that and and like not beats but like you know smooth and all this then rap comes it's like what the hell but now like what's better that old school rap you know the Tupac and all that shit and even the Jay Z early and all that or the rap now where's like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah man. You know what mean? Like Yeah. So yeah. I but take Drake Drake just just keeps dropping You can drop anything and it it's a hit. Yeah, yeah. It's not even good. It's not even good. There's no like substance in the in the in the in the lyrics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Technology, bro. Yeah, I'm getting scared of it. I I I'm far behind on a lot of stuff, bro. I don't know how to do a lot of stuff right now. Hey, but you're a master of AI. Not even, bro. Imagine if I had if I had premium. And that's the next one. The AI. AI is I don't know what's real anymore when I'm watching stuff on on TikTok and and Instagram. Yeah. Yeah. I find myself looking for for extra legs on people or or or misspellings in the background. Right, right, right. I was just asking Desiree that. I said, how do don't you think they should put some kind of flag it, like flag something when it's AI like this is AI, like a big old banner on the top or something. You what I mean? Because it's like how I do the same thing. I see something like that's not r but that might be real. Is that real? Let me look at the comments and then half the people are saying that's AI and then other people are like everything, no, that's real. So I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to believe. But okay, yeah, good one, good one. Is that four? Or yeah, that's four. That's four. And then the last one is every morning, bro, when I wake up. Okay. Like literally I sit on the edge of my bed for like two minutes. And it's like, I can feel like my back. I gotta like crack it and Just d I I mean I guess the little the little the little pains and the little the little tweaks that kinda hurt a little bit longer than they they used to, you know what I mean? The little aches, huh? Yeah. Aches. Perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, aches. Yeah, same thing for me. Okay. So body pain sucks, obviously. What else makes you feel old? having kids that you're going through this too, huh? Nick taller than you. Like your son Becomes taller than you. Bigger than you. Like what the like what is going on? Cause you've always seen them as little kids. All of a sudden now they're towering over you. That makes me feel old. electric cars, bro. You need to get on board. Hey, it'll change your life. But electric cars make me feel old, bro. I I still remember learning how to drive on a stick, bro. You know about a stick, huh? You know about gripping a stick and ripping it, huh? I know you know. Latino. So that's why I learned how to drive that, dog. That's how I learned how to drive a car, bro. It's all we had is a straight key. Maybe you had some AMFM. Maybe you had a tape player. But that's it. Like some cars even come with AC. Now these mother effing cars fly and shit, bro. Like, come on. That's crazy. what else? seeing seeing like like kids having kids, like grandchildren and seeing like your kids and then like Seeing Desiree's kids and they're having kids and it's like, what the wait, wait, wait, what hap wait, wait, what happened? When did I miss, you what I mean? When did I become grandpa age or whatever? You know what I mean? what else? What else? and then the last thing for me, because every year I say I'm gonna make a comeback for that b ball tournament. I wanna show out, you know what I mean? I wanna walk away like Kobe, I wanna walk away with a chip, I wanna walk away with eighty one points, homie. You know what mean? And I keep saying, This is the year, I gotta train, I gotta get ready, and it just I don't think it's ever gonna come back. And when I go out there and do kind of train kind of train, I can't even shoot. I can't even dribble. I can't do anything. And that just makes me feel not only old, but sad. But come on. You gotta practice you gotta practice your three pointer, bro. I can't even reach it, brother. You've seen me holding a bowling ball. I got no power, bro. Once you get better. Once you get better. Guy's giving me a dad's feast once you get that. Hey, just keep trying. Once you keep your head up. Keep your head up, man. Keep keep your head in the game. All right, how about this? We're gonna have to skip a couple of these. let's go quick on this one. Give me your top five meals for when because we know what's coming, bro. Death row. And I'm not talking about records. You don't get a last meal when you're when you're normal? Yay. you don't? When they're gonna kill you, you don't get a last meal? That's what I'm saying. Death row, homie. Death row records. That's what I'm talking about. You know what's coming. Yeah, I said, you know what's coming. We were talking about that DY said you were about What are you doing? I'm in the chair. Why hey, you never seen that movie Shot Collar? They get you in on a DY. Next thing you know, you're in Laime, bro. So what are you gonna do? You wanna be little putt? You wanna be little puppet, the punk, or are you gonna take out, you know, do what you gotta do? I'm gonna be I'm gonna be magic mic, homeboy. Banging all the dudes? What are you talking about? Magic Mike? food? You're gonna be Pompeii. That's who you're gonna be. boy. Is that the dude? Gimme. Some chunchon. All right. all right, come on. Give me give me your last five meals then. Okay, okay. So I guess not on death row. I guess just on your deathbed, all right? On your deathbed, what are the Your top five meals. I can have whatever I want. The last five meals. Whatever you want. But it's a meat. Yeah, actually it can be a meat. It can be anything. Yeah, it can be fast food. Number one, bro, pizza. Home cooked. Hell yeah. But from where? I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go Domino's deep dish. bro. That's why you're gonna waste your last meal on a Domino's pizza? Yeah. What the hell is Domino coming to? Okay. Deep dish is fire. The black box, homie. Number two, steak and a baked potato. Baked potato? Yeah. The fuck? Okay. All What do you want? Mashed potatoes? We can do mashed potatoes. god, with with light gravy. I don't like that dark gravy. With light gravy. No, I like I like both gravy. I don't like it. I I like all gravy, bro. I don't think I've had a gravy I didn't like. Chitter. Even just throw me some butter on that, bro. And then some some some some asparagus. Mm. No. Green beans or barcode. Green beans is cool. Green beans will work. Green beans. Green beans with bacon. Ooh. Number three, bro, soapez. yeah, that was one of your you brought that up before, yeah, yeah. That is my number one. Yeah, that's my number one. So soap is number four. From who though? From who? From Laura? Laura, Laura, my mom. Pretty much anybody, bro. I mean they're anybody, you'll take it anyone a family member soaps, yeah, because they get down. Okay. Okay, cool. Well sorry, what was your third? Yeah, number four, in and out. Wait, what was before In N Out? That was the sopaz? Sopez. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So I got pizza, steak, sopaz, and in and out. What's your in and out order? You get a shake? double double. Either a double double or a four by four, depending on how hungry I am. no onions with animal style fries and a large coke. Wait, but you put onions in your animal fries? Yeah, I d I just don't like in a burger. In in the fr in the fries just fine. Do you don't even I don't I don't even taste it, I don't feel it. But in a burger, I don't know why. I can always taste it. Even if they're chopped, if they're whole I I I can't I can't do it in a burger. Okay. Okay. Do you get a shake? A f a shake? It's gotta be coke, a large coke. Okay. but you're a you're at in and out. You gotta go with that pink lemo, no? hell no. Everything is coke, bro. Every meal I'm having with my last meal is with a coke. Everything. Damn, man. You keep it real, huh? Bud light and coke. Coke is fire, dog. You keep it American. All right. And then the last one is PBJ. I haven't had one of those in forever. Yeah, it's a good little okay. All right. I I gotta go wheat, brother. Bro, it's your last meal. Yeah, but I don't like white anymore. I used to be all about white as right. I mean, I like white chicks, but not white bread. No. You are you are basura. Basura. Okay. Steak and mashed potatoes, number one. Cause bro, come on. Like go to Lowry's or what's that one what's that one steakhouse? Ruth Chris? my I've only probably been there like twice in my life, but my gosh. Yeah. That that's that's my number one. 'Cause it just fills you up. You ever had Wagyu? Yeah. I think I have. Yeah, yeah. It's like real soft, huh? Yeah. my God. But doesn't any kind of stake in a retail you feel like a man? You know what I mean? Like, I feel like I feel like back like one of my cave ancestors. He yeah. Chicks? No bro, be cool with that. No, not chicks. The fuck the guy is a stupid waiter. Come here for me. just the dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, why you why you make him why you making my wife laugh? Get over here. Yeah, yeah. I get it. you remember that yeah, mine, second, Chi Cheese Pizza, bro. I don't know how you don't love that place. That's that's trash. Babe, Louie says cheeky trash. He she said that's crazy. Is he still your favorite uncle? She said, Stop. Not anymore. You're out, brother. Not anymore. What about sushi, bro? yeah. bro. If you give me like imagine and they for your your last meal, they say you could have ten rolls. And all the sauces to yourself. Soy sauce and some sriracha dog. bro. I even like their teriyaki. What's that one? It's like half mu it's like it looks like mayo and some yellow kind of like is that what it is? Is it spicy mayo? yeah, spicy mayo. That's fire. That's shit's fire too. And then this is like a little low-key sleeper, my last one, but I kind of love it. sausag McMuffins with egg. Two of yeah. With two hash rounds so I can stick those hash rounds in between. First off I bite half of the hash round off, eat it, stick the other half inside the McMuffin. that McMuffin's like this thick. Bro, I have to open my mouth like so wide to get that sucker in, but hey, I take it. I take it off. Lockjaw it. Yeah. shoot, we forgot. We forgot about the lock lockjaw Billy is back. Yeah, finally, finally he came. Finally he came back. Lockjaw back. All right. okay. Those are good. Those are good. All of us are good. How about this one? Let's skip the shoot. Top five beers. This one should be easy. Top five what? Beers. Come on, bro. You already know me. I'm I'm bottom of the barrel when it comes to beers. I'm I'm I'm a I'm a very plain and humble man. everybody complains about my top beers. I don't care. They're my top beers, not yours. number one, Bud Light. hurt. Hey, that that that that that milk went bad, huh? It turned turned on you with some white rushing. number two, ultra. my god, bro, what the f do you even like beer? Number three? Dos X, the green bottle? my god, bro, you're okay. If you throw Corona in, I'm sorry, like I said, okay. Number four, it's Corona in a can, homie. Bro, god. my God. This is turning into the And number five are Stella's. I like I I I'll mess with Stella. It kind of reminds me a little bit of like like Heineken, but lighter, not as like, you know, bad tasting. Yeah, I'll t I'll mess with that. Yeah, Stella's good. The rest of your list, bro, might be It's mine. Yeah, that's why I I get that whole thing where you said that's yours and I respect it. You know I respect your game. No, you don't. But that might be the absolute worst beer list I've I probably have ever heard in my life. But I'm gonna go ahead and go to mine. I gotta save everybody. my number one is I don't know, the number one beer in America right now sold. Modelos. Come on, bro. Well that is beautiful that beautiful glass bottle, that beautiful yellow. god, ice cold, and it's got that gold foil. You gotta peel down the foil a little, you know, like to make sure you're not putting in your teeth 'cause that'll hit your cavities. But gosh, bro, Model Ice Cold is like the only beer that I say tastes good. There's another beer which I I don't even know how you don't mention it 'cause you're all about, you know, your last name and you know what is that what's that eagle you like shadow and all that shit? Aguila, bro. My last name, fool. We have the same last name. Aguila the bill the beer from Costa Rica, brother. And it actually is good. They used to sell it in Bevmo and then they and even my uncle won my other uncle one time going God, he's I got some of those wait, were they Aguilas? No, they're not. I forgot what they're called. But they're from Costa Rica. No, those aguilas are from another country, Dominican or something. They're Colombian fool. What is the what's the number one beer from Costa Rica? Imper Imperial. my bad. I think it's long. It's long drink. Imperial, but it has a big ol' eagle on it. That's why I was thinking that. Okay. That's my number two. Man, you're No, you don't even drink any of this, you poser. Well, no, they don't sell it over here anymore. They used to sell it at Bevmo poser. heads up. I can tell you the recipe for Bud Light right now, bro. I have all the all the ingredients in the kitchen. I can make Bud Light. Hey, how come you don't make your own beer? You should get into that, brother. Bro, I drink Bud Light. I'm not a connoisseur, dog. I don't know. What do we have every Friday night? Kona. And you seem to have no problem guzzling it up. As soon as it comes around, you're like a little baby bird, like Let me get my fill. Come on, brother. Now all of a sudden you don't like it. Kona, brother. A mooch, what do you get? Like I'm drinking it for free. Like I'm not buying cookies too, dog. We all we all pitch in, bro. Everybody knows that. Come on. Hey, what I'm I'm not gonna lie, bro. I thought it was better last week when they brought out the buckets. Of beers? It's a lot better. I remember Jez walked out with the bucket. Wow. Yeah. No, because bro, they were out of Kona. So they said, What do you want to do? We said, Hey, get us them bottles, baby. Get us that bottle service. And then Deserie brought out those were ice cold, but I don't know how to tell Mike. I don't think I think he wants to live and die with Kona. But that Kona by the end, it's like this is it's like someone's sucking in the microwave wherever gets that last sip. It's like it's boiling hot. You can see it boiling up. Yeah, you can boil noodle boil noodles in that beer, bro. It's like ramen. Well, then maybe we just start it off. But Mike always gets there first and he always has that first picture already, so we gotta go with it. But I'll switch it up. I'll br I'll get those those bottles, those sweet bottles of pure bliss, Jesus Juice. Let ask you this. Ask away. Do you think we can do like a a bucket, but like a blend? A cornucopia, if you will? I don't think they do that. So I can get I can get like two ultras. you bro, and then you get two modellos and he gets two guns. No, but bro, at bowling, nobody even cares. We can just go all ultra. Like you know what I mean? There's no problem with that. Or you wanna do it like that? We probably could, but it'd probably cost more. I'm saying, why don't we just get all then let's just get all ultras, you know what I mean? Like But you guys don't like that. no, it's not that I don't like it. I just think it I just think it's only for gay guys, but I'll drink it. I mean obviously I I'm But I'm drinking I'm comfortable in my sexuality. I've had no So I so am I. I know I'm not gay. If you wanna say it, whatever. I've had no gay episodes in the in the last Probably eight years. So I'm I mean I'm clean now, bro. I'm straight. I'm I'm rehab, yeah, in the last six months. Reborn. All right, bro. Let's go. Don't let my long my long drink fool you. Let's so that's my fifth one. I had something else, but my fifth is either White Russian from our movie. Big Lebowski or my new my new favorite is long drink, bro. It hits, bro. It hits hard. Hard and deep. Like this next subject. Whoa. The top the top five songs that you, Uncle, like to make love like to make love to. This is very difficult. shoot. Because I'm a firm believer, bro. Like you don't need music to set the mood. But I'm also a firm believer that music can set any mood. So I only have two songs. Okay. Gimme One is a freaking hitter from the nineties, bro. You know that song Pony? You son of a bitch. By Genuine. Yeah, I had that in mind. Okay, go ahead. I'll cross it out. Bro. Bro, that song. I mean, bro. That song that song gets you rocked up. You know what I'm saying? Okay, that's perfect. I mean, I don't even I don't listen to it for that reason. I know, I know. I don't either, but it gets me so it still gets me rocked up. N number two? Yeah. Fenan by Jodice. Wait, which one? Phenon. You got me phoeni no. No, I was seeking Joe to see all my life. No, that's Casey and Jojo. the wedding songs. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay, sorry. Go ahead. The only the the only other thing I can say is any Sade album. Yeah, I had her two, but I crossed it out because I had too many. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Any more than gay playlist It's just I think both of them is the voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The voice gets you the voice gets you where you're trying to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? And I have a I have a Once you jump on board, you do the rest. No Yeah, yeah, yeah. You let you just let you let your instincts take over at that point. Yeah. But I have a questi I have a question. Why is it at least this is how it was for me. Close your ears, guys. But like when you're young, you want to do all that stuff like put music on and set Like now when you're old, you just like hey, shut that light off. Hey, we'll make sure the door is locked. You know, get over here and you just like you just rabbit. You know, now if I when I take when I take D like when I take it, I'm just like a conquering hero, you know what I mean? Like, sorry, what do you mean? Sorry to give him the detail? Sorry, Joe and Patty. you know, I don't mean to be speaking bad about your daughter, but hey, that's my prize. You know what I mean? I gotta what it what did Trump just say recently? To the winner goes a spoil to the victor goes a spoil. So but I but isn't that weird when you're a kid you do all that weird stuff, set the music, set lights, and do all that now you just you know you take what you want. But let me get to my songs before I get before I get in trouble. How about boys to men? I'll make love to you. Like you want me to want me to. Something like, yeah. Come on, bro. That doesn't get you rocked up. Okay. And then you turn the lights out, you had the little dimmer. huge. Okay. Then you're good to go. okay, well, you took those two, so I'm gonna cross those out. How about this? Weekend. Feel it coming. It's like a recent one, but something about that song gives me the tingles. I feel it coming. That one. Play it, play it. I don't I don't do the song justice, but play it and see what it does to you. okay. Third. wait, wait. you took them all, bro. Yeah, I had genuine. You know what I can throw in there? Who I used to love that would always get me going. do you remember R. Kelly Ignition? It's the remix to ignition. It's hot and fresh out of the kitchen, mama. Nation got there chicks in that kitchen. Got me, I got me rolling something sipping on coke and rum. I'm like, so what you're drunk. It's a freaking weekend, baby about to have me. Desiree just insulted me. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, I'm gonna Desire's like, finish the show, get over here. You have one more. Yeah, I think I am getting her a little excited. No, she has like a bad she has a bad hip. I got one. Can't do anything. Yeah. Now that you mentioned it, I forgot I forgot about our Kelly. And he did a bad bunch of bad stuff. But he's got some slappers, bro. I'm gonna go with Kelly. Your body's calling. yeah. shit. Hey, finish it, bro. Hey. That's it. Finish the whole song. I can, then we'll get too You gonna do six seconds, bro? Nah. Okay, but see how we're taking it now all dirty? I'm about to take it romantic, brother. Okay, I'm gonna take us back. You know, I mean I'm gonna go with that that deep voice right here. have you ever heard of a song called or have you ever heard of a movie called Lion King and a certain a certain gay fella who's got some pipes on him by the name of Elton John? Yes, sir. Can you feel Uncle the Love Tuna? Uncle Tuna. Bro, do you remember that that movie when when Nala and Simba are like running and they're playing and that song is playing? bro. You don't know where to lie. Like, what's going on? No, it was Nala, bro. Her eyes. And I'm like, bro, but she's a lion. I can't beat. What is Lion. But honestly, not even a lion. Yeah, she was a cartoon. So I I felt weird. Hey, maybe you're a lion. No, I already told you I'm a lion, bro. I already told you I'm a lion, brother. I already told you that. You know my family's from Leon, brother. That's great. That's great. Okay. All right. And yeah, that was my top five. All right, come on. We gotta keep moving, Uncle. How about this? Would you like to do this one? Top five movie characters you wouldn't want to fight in real life if you had to fight him to death? You want to do that one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Hit it. my, we're at an hour and fifteen. Bro, we're at an hour and fifteen. Yeah, but there's a how many cuts are you gonna do? Yeah, and we don't even know if this is a good I keep getting. There's like 20 minutes cuts. Any Jackie Chan character. The drunk the drunken master, if you will. Yeah, but his punches and kicks don't even look like they hurt. Why would you be afraid of that? They don't even look that they hurt. They don't die. I mean he's just he's just crazy, bro. He's all over the place. Yeah. Okay. All right. number two, Ivan Drago. Cause he ain't fighting clean and he's roid it out. Yeah, and he's killed somebody already. Yeah. Number three, Apollo. Apollo? What? You can't beat Apollo? I can't beat that food dog. Weak. I'll fight Polly. I'll fight Polly or her mix. that's good. Number four, the Joker. Batman. Now you're hitting. Now you're hitting. I'm not I'm not fighting that fool. Remember that big old gun he pulls out at the end? Yeah, for hell no. And number five, Biff. From Back to the Future? From Back to the Future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What bro? There's legit killers everywhere in every movie, and you're picking Biff who couldn't even beat up McFly? What? The heck are you talking about, bro? He was crazy, bro. He was willing to do anything over three three time zones or t three time continuums. Bro, in the last reality though, he works he washes their cars. What are you talking about? All right. All right. All right. I'm not even gonna remember he became like Trump? well, yeah, 'cause he stole the almanac. Yeah, of course. I would have done that too. Shoot. That's why I don't hate on Trump that too much because honestly, low key I I would do the same. All right. I'm not even gonna do that one 'cause I didn't really have any, but Let's go with things you'd buy after winning the lottery. Give me your top five things. This is easy, bro, because every time the every time the the lottery hits like over seven hundred mil. Hell yeah. Ooh. On my way to work, I'm driving, I'm like, man, what the hell would I do with all that money? Right? I'm probably getting half. Right? I'm I'm like, I'm this this just pay conservative. I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna take home two fifty. Cool. Million. So the th the first thing I would do, bro, is I'd buy a new house. A new house, yeah, yeah. Build huh, custom somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'd buy a new house on a on a on an empty lot, build it from scratch, whatever. Hell yeah. I would keep this house for sure. Hell yeah. Let me get it let me get a eight let me get an A to you on that lot, homie. Yeah, on the back. You can probably get it next to the to the cypress tree. number two thought you were gonna say that. I ban a baron complex. shit. the the apartment comp I buy I would buy an apartment complex. Number three, I would buy a laundry mat. Okay, Walter White. Money launderer. I would buy a liquor store. What the f and number five, I would buy a check cashing place. What the bro you And they would all be next to each other. Yeah, it sounds like a a money scheme or some money laundering, bro. Yeah, bro. Bro, wait, you want a hundred you want a hundred of million dollars and you're gonna buy a laundromat? Yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna buy an apartment complex, and next to it is gonna be the laundry mat, and next to that's gonna be the liquor store, and next to that's gonna be the check cash and place. Okay. All right. So you're gonna try wouldn't have to go much and they're just constantly giving me money. got you. So you're just you're trying to keep all that money all on the same street, kinda like I get it, okay. All right, okay. Okay, okay, okay, all right, all right, all right. for me, instantly, house. You're right. I'm building a house on three acres. I'm building all my kids a separate house on there, my mom a house, my sister a house, a compound. Desire, you want your whole family? Get in line. Tell them, what do you want? You got a house too. Like everybody gets a house, everybody gets a house. And then I'm gonna buy a fleet of cars because. Big ass cars, trucks, electric. I just want I want a gangload of cars. All electric. All electric. Third, I'm taking me and anybody, family, friends, anybody I'm sending the invite out like on Instagram, followers, whoever wants to go. Hey, I'm taking a ten day or a fourteen day European cruise, all paid for. Whoever wants to go, you're Your tickets are covered. Your whole cruise is covered. Anything you want is covered. That's my number three. My number four. shoot. I would want a little like 'cause I'm trying to do everything for the family. I don't want to take a little guy trip, like something crazy, like go golf in Abu Dhabi and and you know what I mean? Like just something that's Yeah. Hey, chill, bro. I'm not divorced yet, brother, so I can't go there yet. No, not there's no yet. I mean ever? What do mean? no, yeah. You mean I can't do any of that, bro. I gotta play it clean. Come on, Ugh. We're trying to play it clean, brother. but I would do a a just a sick ass guys trip, like, you know, golf, anything you want. We're just gambling, just like a a complete week for dudes. That's my number four. I thought you were I think I think you were gonna say bowling in Abu Dhabi. That too. Bro, everything in Abu Dhabi. I might just stay there. But number five I would buy because I want to get back into it, you know, I want to start making some money too, is I would try to buy a sports franchise. You know what I mean? Like something small, sardine, maybe like the Sacramento Kings. Yeah, just something like that, just to own and have some pride. You know what I mean? I think that would be cool. that would be my that would be my top five. all right. let me do this last one. 'cause one's kind interesting. Top five things that annoy you about people. Woohoo. Let it fly, Yonk. Hopefully I'm not on that hopefully I one of the things I do is not on that list. Sorry, go ahead. Number one, loudmouth people. Loudmouth? That's me. Is that what you said? Or lock mouth. No loudmouth. Like people that don't that don't be qu that don't shut up. shoot. I do that when I'm drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know what you're saying. No, you don't I've seen you drunk. Well, I start popping off. You're pretty chill. Okay. And the chin. number two, liars. jeez. Any lie? Like, what if it's a little lie? What if it's just like, you know, a baby lie? Harmless. I feel like you're to the point where you shouldn't have to lie anymore, bro. Like for what? yeah. That's that's true. That's true. Okay. I mean you don't gotta lie to me, bro. Like there's no reason. And And you're right. This is just things that annoy you. So yeah, another yeah, that would annoy too. Okay. All right, cool. Number three, fake people. yeah, yeah. People that are like, I I'm doing this and I'm gonna do this and I got this and I'm pretty soon this. Man, don't tell me, just show me Yeah, yeah. Big braggers, huh? I'm I'm not I'm not one to to to wish bad on anybody. Right. So if you're if you're telling yeah, I'm gonna do this, hey, hey man, more power to you. I hope I hope you're paid, I hope whatever. Right. Whatever you're trying to whatever you're trying to accomplish, I hope you do it. Right, right. But do it. Don't say it like, yeah, just because yeah. You're not I you you don't need to impress me. I don't I don't give a crap, dude. As long as you're happy. Right. You don't you're not messing with my money or my family. Yeah. I don't care, dog. You don't affect my life. So number four. A holes. That we used to be my nick my that was always that still is my fantasy football name, Aguilar's A-holes. 'Cause w I'm an A-hole. You're not an A-hole though. You think you are, but you're not I try to be. I try to be. I want to be. I want to be a dick. I want to be that mean. Yeah, you you you thrive to be an a hole. now I've I've met some A holes in my time. Uhhuh. And I just I don't understand why. Like what's the point? Like what what what got you there? Why do you Why do you need to be that way with with with people? Don't you think it's just their personality? Like they can't. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. They're there everything is a is a is a deep is a deep rooted issue. Right, right, right. Right, right. You'll just never see it. It could have been something that happened to them when they were like eight years old. Yeah, and it's still there. And it just made them this way. Like, you know what? I'm just and then it's like you when you look at them, I'm like, dude, like because I've met so many people, bro, like through work, through other Other other encounters and I'm just like, dude, like this guy's an asshole or she's an a hole or you what I And it's like like why? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. What's that? Like why do you need to be an a hole to people that are just trying to just live next to you? Like whatever. Right. the last one is people that don't get the hint. Okay. Like you you have you have to you have to think like why is this happening or why is this not happening or why why am I tr being treated this way, or why am I you know, being like whatever, like it's it's so it's so crazy to me, bro, to to think of like certain people in life that they they don't they don't understand like the big picture. They don't see that like like you have certain things going or you have certain things that you don't that you just like don't. Like I I have I have a guy that I used to hang out with for a long time and he did some stuff that to me was not Was not cool, was was questionable. so I basically said, you know what? I I kind of reevaluated everything. I was like, dude, this guy brings nothing to the table. I have I haven't hung out with him in so long. Like I'm done. Right. And then when my dad when my dad passed, he actually hit me up. Hey, I just heard from so and so that your dad passed. And I was kinda like, First off, so and so, how the hell did they hear? Like I I don't have so and so on social media. okay. So how did they tell you? So I was like, you know what? Like so I didn't respond and I'm I haven't I haven't responded to that homeboy in the longest, but he still kind of randomly just tried to reach out to me. Like I'm done, bro. Like for what? You you bring nothing to the table. I'm done. Get the get the hint that I yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right, right. You bring nothing to this to this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's a good that's perfect. That's perfect. That's perfect. All right, Uncle. Look at that. We're at like an hour and ninety nine minutes. So we gotta we gotta move to everybody's favor, bro. Uncle knows best. But I feel like this has been your episode, bro, because I felt a little bad last episode. I y you only talked for like three minutes. So it's like, Hey, we gotta give Uncle his time back. So this is all this one is all you, brother. Uncle Knows Best. This is the last one. Same thing. It's still the top five list, but for the closing segment What are the five things that you think this is a little teaching moment for Uncle. What are the five things that every man should own? Let's say in his lifetime or in his home, you know what I mean? Every every man. God damn, you didn't even give me this on the list, fool. Thank you. No, cause I you know why? 'Cause I'm preparing me 'cause I cut it off. But I I do But you bro, you can do this. I already I'm already picturing three things The top five things that every man should own in their life? a house? Ding ding, yeah. A gun? Yeah, you got it. See? Told you easy. A house, a gun, some sort of automobile, whether it's a car or a truck. Truck. Man, everything a man should own. And The right to call a good woman his. Wait, so one of the things is to own a woman? No, no, no. The right to call a good woman his. Like you have her rights. Like I own. Yeah, like that like she like she's consenting to being your partner and you're able to tell people that is my wife. Wait, like you're talking about the old days when you like you get promised? Like you have her rights. Why would you have her rights? I'm talking about now. What do you mean in the old days? What are you talking about? Well, 'cause you said I own her rights. So I'm like you bought you bought her? Play it back. Okay. Two two two rewind. Okay. 'Cause I don't know what I said but You said something about women. You need to own you need to own the right. The rights to her. Yeah, bought. You bought that. To claim her? Hey. Hey. Lord Desiree, I claim you. I claim you didn't You're this is Did you ever see Braveheart when they went and raped that? Scratch that. They raped the women. They said, This is my right. This is the right 'cause we're This is my right to this woman. This is my right. Yeah. An automobile, a house, a gun. And what else did they say? the rights to women or something? A house, a gun, a gun, an automobile a truck and a a woman. You want a woman? To repopulate a l wait, like yeah, you want a a woman or a concubine? Is that the word? I don't know what word you're I don't know what word you're going for. I think it's concubining. Cut that. I can't I can't. I know. I have no idea. Okay. Own the Yeah, I know. How about owning the the the the the affection of a woman? How about that? Love it. My Fat Five, because I want to jump in on this. I say a truck. Every man should own a truck. Bro, yes, you're right. Two is a home. What about a toolbox, bro? A toolbox. A veto. A veto tool bag. What's a veto? I'm gonna get you a veto tool bag food for Christmas. I don't even know what that is. Hey, bro, I only roll I only roll with Milwaukee, homie. Milwaukee, brother. I don't I don't mess with cobalt. what else? every man should have should have a woman, bro. Should have a woman or women in your stable. That should be your third. Every man should own that. Own, yeah. I mean i I consider when I'm with a when I'm with a chick, I don't not say I own her, but like when I look at her, I'm like that's my pro that's my property. You know what I mean? Like try and take that. You know what I mean? Like You gotta I mean that's the that's the look you have to have, brother. You gotta, you know what I mean? You want someone to just come in and snag your chick? what else? that's it, brother, for me. Tools, you're right. Every okay. Tools, a home, a truck, brother, not a car. Number four, a woman, and then number five, what was all crap. See, Yunk, that's why I can't I gotta just say it or else I forget it. top five things every man should own. in my household, a gold chain. I got chain. I got it passed. My fat gold chain. I got it passed down. I pass it down. I told my son, you if I if I pass away tomorrow, do me a favor, pass this on to my grandson. Let him know where it came from. Respect the gold. that's dope. And with that GH? I f where is my TGH? I got little fake one. Yeah, I gotta I gotta start rocking that. Hey, Uncle. And that's it, brother. That's our top five show. It it was a mess, bro. Yeah, it was a mess. I don't even know if it filmed because this my my wi fi is trash. hey, there was some great picks. There was a couple a couple odd ones that I wasn't expecting. I wouldn't say hor I wouldn't say horrible picks. She had a couple of questionable ones. but that's how lists play out, bro. I mean, you know, you can't just expect it's always gonna be the same thing. Like that was cool, man. I I enjoyed some of your answers. so hopefully you didn't offend anybody. Not me, because I kept it clean. Could hopefully you didn't offend anybody and if the unk did, hey, let us know where he went wrong or give us your top five. Hey, please. Let's start let's start hit let's start hitting up these comments, bro. I'm just tired of seeing my mom and Desiree. Come on, where's everybody else at? Hey. We're not affecting you. We're not making you mad. We're not making you happy. Let us know. You know, show us that love. And then we'll show it we'll show it back to you if you know what I'm talking about. So thank you, Uncle. I appreciate it. As always. Thank you. Thank you. I had a good time. Those lists were good. You know what? Let's see how this one came out when I edited it, but and I have a feeling that we're gonna get a part two to this more list, 'cause this was I I enjoyed it. I like to kinda let loose like this. until next week. Also no quickie this week because I'm gonna be out of town, brother. Hey, you I'm a jet setter, homie. I got business. I got business in in Frisco, brother, up north, so I gotta go take care of a couple things and I'll be back. So that means no quickie this Sunday, but this will be out on Wednesday. Thank you, Uncle. Castro District, here you come. Castro. Hey, I'm gonna go w see what this Harvey milk is all about, brother. So I'm out of here. hey, if I if I don't make it back, the show is yours, brother. Go find yourself a co-host and Wait, what are you gonna go do, Alcatraz? What yeah, what if I get locked up? Trump's gonna Trump's gonna restart Alcatraz, you know what I'm saying? They could get kidney, brother. Hey, I'll swim home, but still. Yeah. All right, Uncle. I'll backstroke. crap. there we go. All right. Thank you, Unc. I appreciate you. Appreciate the show. Appreciate everything. I'll talk to you next week. I'm gonna stop it. Don't hang up because we're gonna probably have to wait for a minute. All right, brother. For like an hour. Did it stop? Look at it, it's not even stopped. there it