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Trade The Grading Rubric For A Soul Compass · The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

• 0:11
  Julie Nguyen: Hello, and welcome back, my friends, to the Spiritual Shitshow podcast.
• 0:16
  Julie Nguyen: My name is Julie Nguyen, and I'm just thanking you, literally.
• 0:20
  Julie Nguyen: It's the highlight of my week when I get the email from Buzzsprout of how many downloads I have had, and I'm just really grateful that my shares, my story, these things that I'm working through in my own life can be of an inspiration for you.
• 0:35
  Julie Nguyen: I love that we are all walking each other home, and I know I need daily soul supplements.
• 0:41
  Julie Nguyen: The same way I take my vitamins, that's how I need to receive energy and support and ways to control my monkey mind, and little golden nuggets that are keeping me firmly planted on my path and reminding me of my light.
• 1:00
  Julie Nguyen: And I hope that this podcast is doing...
• 1:02
  Julie Nguyen: Well, I know this podcast is doing it for you, too.
• 1:05
  Julie Nguyen: So thank you so much.
• 1:06
  Julie Nguyen: If you have listened to the last podcast, you know we talked about a simple but profound truth, which is the universe isn't a test to pass.
• 1:16
  Julie Nguyen: It's a symphony to play.
• 1:18
  Julie Nguyen: We talked about the instrument you were handed at birth, your unique voice, your perspective, your creative spark, and why it's absolutely vital that you don't let the world tune you down.
• 1:33
  Julie Nguyen: But I know what happens after the music fades.
• 1:36
  Julie Nguyen: We return to our desks, our studios, our businesses, and our daily routines, and that quiet, nagging voice creeps back in.
• 1:46
  Julie Nguyen: Again, this is why I need this podcast because that voice says,"Am I doing this right?
• 1:52
  Julie Nguyen: Is anyone actually going to align with this?
• 1:56
  Julie Nguyen: Is this even good?
• 1:58
  Julie Nguyen: Does it matter?" And today we're gonna dive straight into that friction.
• 2:05
  Julie Nguyen: We are talking about the massive life-altering transition from seeking validation to standing in alignment.
• 2:17
  we are going to unpack the psychological traps that keep us begging for permission.
• 2:22
  We're gonna look at why the fear of being misunderstood is actually a sign of expansion.
• 2:29
  And I'm gonna give you two highly practical, actionable tools to help you shift From is this right to this is what I am for.
• 2:42
  So let's get into it Let's start with why we do this.
• 2:49
  Why is our first instinct to look outside of ourselves for a green light, for validation, for what do you think?
• 2:56
  And psychologically we have been conditioned by linear thinking.
• 3:01
  From the moment we enter the school system, we are taught that life is a series of standardized tests.
• 3:07
  You study, you write the essay, you do what the teacher wants, you take the test, you get the grade, you move on to the next level.
• 3:15
  There is a right and a wrong answer.
• 3:19
  And this, you know, can be a trap.
• 3:23
  And it's absolute poison for creative soul-led gifts.
• 3:29
  It is poison for spiritual development and self-awareness and growth.
• 3:34
  When you try to apply linear logic to your soul's expression, you hit a wall.
• 3:40
  Creative expression, entrepreneurship, deep self-discovery, these things are nonlinear.
• 3:45
  Healing is nonlinear.
• 3:47
  Growth is nonlinear.
• 3:49
  And guess what?
• 3:50
  Life isn't built linear.
• 3:52
  Everything's built from a spiral.
• 3:55
  and yet we still try to force our life to be on this linear path.
• 4:02
  We can look at our art or our business idea or our social media or our ever-evolving identity, and then we ask like,"Is this good?" What we are really asking is, am I safe from rejection?
• 4:22
  When our sense of worth, success, and safety is dictated by external opinions, we stifle our own growth.
• 4:33
  We edit our ideas before they even have a chance to breathe.
• 4:38
  And we overthink And we tried to devise a creative plan so that we can put this creative idea out there and everybody's gonna like it.
• 4:48
  And in doing so, we just don't protect ourselves from criticism, we also erase the very magic that makes our work potent.
• 4:58
  I know for me, I've had to step away from the choreography space When I started choreography, there was no social media, and ignorance is bliss, and I had full permission to follow my creative impulses.
• 5:15
  Then, once we became more successful and we started bringing more guest artists in, and teachers, and master choreographers, and then the onset of social media and branding yourself, all of that literally just put a chokehold on my ability to trust my creative impulses because now I had to abide by a framework of what was cool, what was winning, what was good, what was excellent, and no longer did I have the freedom of just creating.
• 5:47
  And even now, I find myself in that same pattern when I'm asked to come in and do a solo for somebody.
• 5:54
  I just...
• 5:55
  It's, it's not exciting to me anymore because I know that there is an unspoken parameter of how I'm supposed to be working, and I don't love that.
• 6:04
  I don't love it To truly step into what you are for, you have to make peace with the very uncomfortable reality that you will be understood.
• 6:18
  Some people may not like it.
• 6:21
  Some people will have an opinion about it, and what you're putting out there may not be for them Being misunderstood is not a failure of your expression.
• 6:32
  It is often a natural byproduct of your expansion.
• 6:39
  I need to hear that.
• 6:41
  I need to hear that,'cause honestly, I have a lot of fear.
• 6:43
  What are they gonna think?
• 6:44
  And I think that is just back patterning from being with a narcissistic relationship and then moving through these past 10 years, moving through my own personal trauma, family stuff, and then also having somebody else's groove, their tone, their sound in my ear that became so much louder than my own intuitive heart space.
• 7:04
  I I still rub up against hearing sometimes,"You're crazy.
• 7:08
  Nobody thinks like that.
• 7:10
  Nobody likes what you do.
• 7:12
  You're literally wacky." And I am gonna tell you, if you are with anybody in your life that makes you feel small or crazy, run.
• 7:26
  Run.
• 7:27
  Run.
• 7:28
  Run.
• 7:29
  'Cause it is a hell of a lot of fucking work to reprogram your psyche and to begin to trust your own intuition again.
• 7:39
  Don't let anybody steal your dreams, dim your light, or have you doubt what is true for you, your intuition And moving on.
• 7:54
  If your ultimate goal is to never be misunderstood, then your only option is to play it so incredibly safe to not do the thing or to speak so neutrally and to do what has already been done so many times before True creation, true love, true expansion requires vulnerability.
• 8:24
  And vulnerability, especially now, is fucking terrifying.
• 8:29
  Just get on a social media outlet and everybody has an opinion about everything And I applaud people who are putting themselves out there'cause this shit ain't easy.
• 8:43
  And I am witnessing actually those who are putting themselves out there over and over and over, and are allowing their lives to be vulnerable states of growth and expansion.
• 8:54
  I applaud you.
• 8:55
  I applaud you When you shift your focus to alignment, you stop asking,"How do I make them understand?" And you start asking,"How do I make this as true to my internal channel as possible?" The paradox here is the more specific and authentic you are to your own frequency, the more deeply you will resonate with people who are actually meant to hear you.
• 9:23
  That also requires a lot of trust.
• 9:27
  And you don't need the whole room to nod in agreement.
• 9:32
  You just need the right people to feel it So how do we practically make this shift?
• 9:41
  How do we move from the frantic anxiety of,"Is this good?
• 9:47
  What the fuck am I doing?
• 9:48
  Is anybody gonna like this?" To the deep, grounded peace of this question that was offered in the last podcast What am I for?
• 10:02
  And then claiming, declaring, this is what I am for.
• 10:09
  and here are two tools you can start using today.
• 10:12
  I'm actually gonna work with this today myself.
• 10:14
  So the first tool is a cognitive reframing exercise.
• 10:19
  We are so wired to look for the grading rubric.
• 10:22
  It is just how our brains operate, and so we are going to build our own.
• 10:28
  I want you to actively swap your external rubric for an internal one next time you create something, whether it's an email, a design project, a podcast, a reel, or if you make a big decision Do not ask yourself,"Will they like this?" Instead, pull out a piece of paper and grade yourself on these three internal criteria.
• 10:56
  All right, so write this down or pin this podcast so you can do this work later.
• 11:02
  Number one is resonance.
• 11:05
  Does this feel warm?
• 11:06
  Does it feel authentic?
• 11:08
  Does it feel alive?
• 11:10
  How do I feel when I'm creating it?
• 11:16
  Does it feel exciting?
• 11:19
  Does it feel true in my body when I look at it, when I, when I want to create it?
• 11:24
  Does it feel...
• 11:25
  Did I say exciting?
• 11:26
  Does it feel exciting?
• 11:29
  So check in with the resonance of it Number two, honesty.
• 11:39
  Did I say or create what I actually meant to say or create, or did I edit myself to sound safer?
• 11:56
  And then number three is generosity Am I sharing, creating, building, expressing this from a place of service and love?
• 12:10
  Or is there a part of me that wants to be validated And if you can answer yes to those three you have a perfect score You have met the only rubric that matters.
• 12:31
  You are in alignment, resonance, honesty, generosity Another tool is alignment inventory.
• 12:44
  The second tool is a daily behavioral check-in.
• 12:47
  When we seek validation, we are operating from the energy of scarcity.
• 12:53
  We are trying to get something from the world to fill a void.
• 12:56
  And when we operate from alignment, we are expressing something that is already full.
• 13:02
  We are playing our notes to the universe.
• 13:06
  It is authentic.
• 13:07
  It is real.
• 13:08
  It is alive.
• 13:10
  I want you to track your energy for just three days.
• 13:13
  Every time you feel an urge to check your phone to see if anybody's liking your post, and you begin to judge if anybody has commented or if they liked it or if they're signing up for your thing, Or if you wanna ask for someone's opinion on an unfinished draft or what they think, or if you hesitate to post or you hesitate to speak up, I want you to ask yourself this question Am I doing this to be validated?
• 13:38
  Am I doing this for some said outcome?
• 13:42
  Or am I doing this because it feels good and it's something inside of me that is desiring to be created and expressed As we close today's episode, I wanna leave you with one simple challenge for the week ahead.
• 13:59
  I want you to be able to identify one area of your life where you have been holding back because you are waiting for a sign, an okay, a yes.
• 14:09
  You're waiting for the thing This week I want you to bypass the middleman and I want you to give yourself permission.
• 14:16
  What is it that you wanna do?
• 14:18
  How are you feeling?
• 14:20
  What is it that you wanna create?
• 14:23
  and then remind yourself of what we talked about today We are not living in a linear life You graduated from that school a long time ago, and now your only job is to tune your instrument and play the note that feels the most resonant to you You can do it badly.
• 14:49
  You can do it boldly.
• 14:52
  And do it with the full expectation that some people won't get it, and do it anyway.
• 14:58
  And that takes a lot of fucking courage some people won't get it and do it anyway because your expansion is waiting on the other side of your courage.
• 15:13
  Thank you for listening.
• 15:15
  Keep playing your song.
• 15:17
  I hope these tools help, and I'll talk to you next time.