Latest / Natty Unfiltered / Borrow My Belief Until You Build Your Own

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Borrow My Belief Until You Build Your Own · Natty Unfiltered

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  Welcome back to Natty Unfiltered Podcast. The space
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  where we get real about identity, confidence and rediscovering
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  yourself beyond motherhood. In this episode,
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  I want to talk about borrow my belief
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  until you build your own. If you don't
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  believe in yourself yet, that doesn't mean you're failing.
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  It means you simply are human.
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  Why? Motivation comes and goes. Now.
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  Motivation isn't logical, it's emotional.
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  Fear doesn't show up screaming, it shows up whispering
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  doubts that sound reasonable. Fear stops
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  us from getting in a relationship, from getting
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  job that we want, starting a business.
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  So many things that fear is responsible
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  for why we're not starting something,
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  why we're stopping halfway into
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  what we wanted, what we started in the first place.
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  You don't wait to feel confident, to take action.
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  Confidence follows action. So every small
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  step you take teaches your brain that you're capable,
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  that you can do it even when you
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  are not sure. I know that. Oh my God. For years I
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  had fear of failure and that
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  fear kind of paralyzed me from achieving the
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  goal that I wanted to achieve.
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  I've started a couple of businesses that
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  I didn't fully move forward with because
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  I was afraid to fail. Then when I
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  learned that, listen, if you are afraid to fail
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  and you're not going to start something or you started but you don't
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  finish, you don't even cross that finish line of finishing your
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  business and starting your business,
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  then how do you going to know you're going to succeed?
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  How do you know you're going to fail before you even start?
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  Fear of failure is,
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  can be or. I know for me it
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  was mortifying. It something that
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  I've dealt for years and it's something that I had to overcome
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  and at some point where I just
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  learned to overcome and start things that I
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  wanted to start but was afraid to start.
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  I remember when I started to be in, I wanted to get
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  into social media and to be an influencer.
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  I remember I wanted to go to this thing
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  event where I knew nobody.
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  I only knew one girl who
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  I was following and I really liked her.
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  And I said, you know what, I'm still going to
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  go. I'm going to put myself out there. I'm going to put myself
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  out of that comfort zone and I'm just going to go and
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  see what happens. And I did.
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  And I was so thankful that I pushed myself to
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  do it. I met quite
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  a few ladies that were wonderful, who I built
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  relationships with. I was so happy that I
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  became friends with the same girl that
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  was holding that event. And she made me feel so
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  welcome, so comfortable. She introduced me to some
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  people who I sparked the conversations with. And it was
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  intimidating. I was in fear of not
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  being liked and what if I'm not gonna talk to anybody? And the
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  room was filled with beautiful women,
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  with women who've been who they all knew each
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  other. I think the one woman that I was talking to,
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  she was actually pretty new too, so she didn't really know anybody.
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  So we kind of bonded as well. But I
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  decided to take the step. I decided to step
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  out of my comfort zone. I decided to put
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  that fear away. And I'm so glad that I did,
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  because from that point on, every event
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  felt more comfortable. Even when I
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  went to another event that I only knew, like, one or two people, I started
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  to speak to other people and start to get
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  to know other people. And the more I was doing it,
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  the more comfortable I became.
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  And sometimes, you know, you think that,
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  oh, I'm going to. Somebody's gonna motivate me or I'm gonna
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  motivate myself. That motivation,
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  yes, it comes and goes, and it will come.
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  And when it comes, you just have
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  to kind of keep on going. And you need to
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  motivate yourself. And by that, you motivate others to
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  do the same. Comparison is a confidence
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  thief. And, oh, boy. When you
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  are. When you are on social media,
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  when you are starting to create
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  something, when you are. When you
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  put yourself out there, the comparison is,
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  I don't know, it's out of this world. And the comparison
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  can definitely play with your head and
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  really can spiral you into.
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  I should say, can spiral you and basically
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  thinking you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough,
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  you're not, maybe not rich enough,
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  but you're not maybe in the same financial standing.
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  Maybe you're not in the same relationship
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  as others. I mean,
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  it can go on and on. I mean, scrolling makes it
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  easy to assume everyone else is ahead,
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  they're more successful or more
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  certain. But the comparison only shows you
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  the highlight reel. It then it never really shows you the
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  struggles. So instead of letting comparisons shrink,
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  you use it as evidence of what's possible.
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  If someone else can do it, it means the path exists,
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  not that you're behind. That's something that
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  I had to deal with and learn for quite
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  some time. When people actually open
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  up, and a lot of times people open up maybe like in their stories,
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  and they talk about their struggles, what they've gone through,
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  or maybe what they're currently going through, then it opens up the doors
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  and for you to see or like, open up that window into this person's life
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  and for you to see that, yes, what's in the
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  feed, it's one story. But what the person
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  is going through behind the scenes, it's different.
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  Most of us, when we get on social media, we want to see happiness.
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  We want to see, maybe we want to catch up with the news. We want
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  it to see beautiful things. And we start assuming that somebody else's
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  life is perfect. All they're doing,
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  all these travels, they have this extravagant gift, they have this beautiful
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  cars, they have this beautiful relationship, beautiful kids,
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  beautiful homes, beautiful friendships,
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  they cook amazingly. We start
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  creating this picture in our head. But yes,
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  of course, it's easy to do because all you see is the beauty,
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  but you don't see the struggles that the
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  person might be going through behind the scenes.
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  Nobody says, nobody's going to be putting out their dirty laundry
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  out for the world to see. Yes, sometimes people share
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  their maybe health struggles or their relationship trouble struggles, or maybe
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  they have struggles with the kids or, you know, whatever it is. And I
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  know sometimes people, they put out things that might not be completely true just
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  to show people that they're living this lavish life
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  when in real life, in reality is not the case.
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  And for me, that, honestly, I don't really understand, understand it
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  if I'm not. If I'm struggling my relationship,
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  I'm struggling to put out the content out there to be happy
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  because I'm dealing with struggles behind the
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  scenes. And for some people, it's easier to still put on
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  the happy face and show up on a regular basis and put out
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  the content, whatever it is. For me, I am wired
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  differently. I kind of show up when
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  I feel happy. Maybe it's, maybe it's
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  the wrong way to do it, but this is how I do it, and that's
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  my life, and this is how I choose to do it.
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  Everybody chooses to do what they want to do. It's their life.
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  But knowing that you comparing
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  yourself to others can definitely crush you. I know that
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  I've. I had to talk to my close friends
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  and they had to just say, like, why are you doing this to yourself?
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  And you have to look at yourself and what you bring
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  to the table. And sometimes I think you can really
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  forget about what kind of a great person you are,
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  what great things and qualities you have that you bring to the
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  table, to others, to your family, to your friends.
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  And it does help, of course, realizing yourself,
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  hey, you're badass. You do so many things that other
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  people don't see you do it. You might not have all
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  these lavish things, but you have lavish things in
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  other sense. You know, you have lavish things as you
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  are a great human being, you kind, you're positive, you're, you are
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  a great mom. You like. You can't really judge
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  somebody by kind of. You can't judge the book by
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  its cover. Basically what I'm saying,
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  the momentum beats perfection every time.
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  Perfection delays progress, momentum compounds
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  it. So imperfect action builds clarity faster than
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  endless planning ever will. You don't need
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  to know the full plan. You just need to take the next aligned
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  step and pro progress loves courage, not certainty.
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  Stop waiting for the perfect time to start something.
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  Perfect time does not exist. There's no perfect
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  time to, to start thinking of being
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  a mom. Because perfect time doesn't come.
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  You either decide that, okay, I want to be a
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  parent and I'm just gonna start
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  doing it. Yes, sometimes you, maybe you wait that to
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  be a little bit in better financial position or whatever it is,
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  but there's never gonna be a perfect time. There's never
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  gonna be a perfect time to start the business,
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  to put yourself out there and to start
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  to be on social media. If you love cooking and
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  you want to share your easy recipes or whatever it is
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  with other people, other moms, then start doing it.
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  If something worked for you for health and wellness, then start
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  sharing it. Don't wait for the perfect time for the,
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  for the, for. For. For everything aligned,
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  for all the stars to align for you to start something. You,
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  you probably know that the time goes by fast. I feel like
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  2025 just flew by. It was a shitty year. And I know
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  it was not just for me, it was for a lot of people. I mean,
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  that's what I've heard. But you
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  still don't wait for the perfect time to start something.
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  The time is now. You don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.
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  So don't delay things. Start them now
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  and just keep moving forward. When become an
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  example. Your kids absorb.
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  Your kids don't learn from what you say. They learn from
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  how you live. When they see you try,
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  fail, pivot, and then you
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  still keep on going. They learn resilience.
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  Showing them what it looks like to honor your dreams teaches
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  them to honor theirs. That's legacy work.
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  That's something that hopefully I'm teaching my kids
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  to do the same. They've seen the struggles that I've
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  gone through, but they still see me moving
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  forward. They still see me not quitting.
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  They still see me showing up for myself
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  because they know what I'm working towards, what I want to
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  accomplish for myself, and of course,
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  ultimately for them, because what I accomplish,
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  they benefit from it. So why would I stop?
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  How can I tell my kids to not quit
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  when things get tough? Not quit because they
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  feel like they're not capable of something or they
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  don't know enough of something so they can't start if
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  I don't show the example of how to do it.
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  If I'm going to quit on myself, quitter, my dreams
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  and my goals because things got tough because
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  I didn't get the results fast
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  enough, how are they going to learn now?
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  If you decide to quit because you started something and
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  you quit because what you started doesn't bring you
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  joy anymore, it doesn't light that fire in you to be
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  creating, then it's one thing. But if you're going to be giving
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  up because things got tough because you're not seeing the results, you're not
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  willing to change, you're not willing to evolve, and you're just simply quitting,
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  then what is it teaching them? Because talk
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  is cheap. Your action, like you know the saying, your actions
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  speak louder than words. So show them.
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  Your dreams are not distraction from your life. They're part
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  of the life you're meant to live. And one day you realize
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  the moment you stop doubting yourself was the moment everything
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  changed. You will doubt yourself,
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  you will question yourself. But that's okay.
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  That's okay to sometimes doubt yourself and question things.
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  Because maybe you need to change things. Maybe you need to tweak it.
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  Maybe you need to evolve, you know, evolve. Life doesn't stay the
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  same. In life, we need to change.
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  We need to change with times. We need to evolve, we need
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  to grow, we need to learn. And when you're open to that,
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  then anything is possible.
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  So don't hold yourself back.
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  Don't put your dreams in the back burner. Don't say
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  one day, start believing yourself. Start believing
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  your what you can bring to the table. And start showing
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  up for yourself. I want to thank you for showing
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  up to and hearing another episode on Nadian
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  Filtered podcast. As always, please make sure
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  to follow, subscribe and share this episode with with another
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  mama who might find it helpful. And until next time.