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Episode 75: Escaping the Escape Cycle · The Habit Lab

• 1:08
  Speaker 1: We all have areas in our life we might feel stuck or overwhelmed.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: So join me, jenna Zint, habit Coach, teacher and follower of Jesus, as we go after little bits of better by building offensively small habits that create big impact.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: This is the Habit Lab Podcast.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Habit Lab.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: This is Jenna Zint.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: It has been a minute.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I took off July from doing a lot of things and it ended up being podcasts was one of those things, but I hope you are doing well.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: We're coming into late August, early fall.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: This episode is relevant, even if you're listening to it in the future.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: It's about escaping the escape cycle, and what I mean by that is I'm actually going to take a deeper dive into vacations, because why am I doing an episode in a habit podcast?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Why would I do an episode about vacations One?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Because, whether we call them vacations, trips, weekend getaways, I'm talking about all those things.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: They have such an impact on people's habits and I want to talk about that.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: So I think that is actually one of the outside of like sickness and hosting people.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Vacations, trips, all these like getaways, are one of the most common factors that really impact people's, like rhythms that they're trying to build almost like swimming upstream, like working against them.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I do want to clarify from the beginning.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Yes, this episode is called escaping the escape cycle.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: We're looking into vacations, but I am not anti vacations, so that is not where I'm coming from.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not trying to convince you to not take trips.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I actually took multiple trips this year.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: We take vacations.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I like them, but what I do want to unpack is actually more realistically looking at the hidden costs that we tend to minimize about vacations and trips and then actually looking at the fruit we get from them.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Is it what we had hoped?
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Is it actually what it promises, or are we kind of like, actually glossing over how?
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Like that it doesn't really give us exactly what we're looking for?
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe the cost outweighs the benefit, which you guys, if I had list, if I had played, if I was about to play this episode for me myself five years ago, I would be like nope, nope, totally worth it.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: This lady is crazy.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: She doesn't know what she's talking about, but that's why I actually I'm like, I think I'm the most qualified to do this episode because I self-identify as a recovering vacation addict.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Like, truly, truly.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: My personality lends itself towards fun, enjoyment, joy, life, but then also towards, like maybe gluttony.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: So like more, more, more, always, you know, looking for novel things, adventure of culture.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I actually like adventure, like a little bit of risk, so I have traveled pretty extensively.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there's people out there who've traveled more extensively and the funny part is, up until like this year or two years ago, most of it was not for missions trip.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I used to say this is an honest peek.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do my own little testimonial of my personal reform.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Before I get into some, I'm actually going to give you the history of vacations, because I've noticed how widespread this idea of we deserve them, like our lives are thriving if we get them, how many we get, what they look like, and then just noticing actually realistically zooming out.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I think we do that good zoom out with technology, a lot like looking at the impact and how quick, how.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: It's only such a more recent thing, but I've never heard anyone do it about vacation.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: So I actually did a little research about the timeline of vacations.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: We're going to talk about that and then we're going to transition to talking about, like, the kind of effects on your habits.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: This is a part two, this is a part two or two part series, and this is part one.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: So summer, like I said, is winding down and for years I used to live for vacations.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I was a total vacation addict.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: It felt like the only way to breathe or kind of to get through the hard parts of my life, the only way to like actually reset or escape kind of the pressure for life was a trip.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: So, again, we never had a ton of money.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I think that is the difference, where I think people think that if you do it economically or it's not breaking the bank, then that's the literal cost.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: But I think vacations and our cultural presentation of them actually cost so much more than we are willing to look at or aware of.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: So, that being said, I have traveled, like I said, extensively.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I'm one of my first spontaneous.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I went to Europe for the first time in high school with my mom and then in college I found really cheap plane tickets and I love, like I said, adventure spontaneous.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: So I got my mom to overnight my passport once and I flew to Europe to visit my friend who was studying abroad, in France, and I was by myself navigated, flew into London because I was easier, had to figure out the train system to get over to Paris and then meet up with her in different parts of the country.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I was lost a couple of times but I feel really alive and I enjoy figuring those things out.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Actually, I really like traveling by myself, which is kind of crazy, right.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I mean sorry, it sounds funny because it's harder, that's why I like it.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: But I mean, sorry, it sounds funny because it's like it's harder, that's why I like it.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: But I mean I don't want it to be too hard, I just proud of myself.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: It's almost like when someone runs a marathon.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: You're like you know it was hard and effort.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Why do people enjoy it?
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: But it's kind of like the discipline and proving that they can do it and like seeing their grit.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I think that's kind of how I would feel about international travel.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: And then, specifically when I was doing it by myself and then my brother lived in Taiwan for five years and I went over to visit him a couple times by myself, so I flew all the way around the country or world to go to him and on the way I was like, well, my kind of hack was that I would, and I still think it's a reasonable hack is that if I'm ever going a distance and my budget's limited, I try to have stops over places.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: So instead of just getting a direct round trip I'll get, maybe I'll buy a leg from this from my hometown to this city and then from that city to where I'm going and then from where I'm going back to my hometown.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: So it's almost like there's always three points.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Because it's an easier way to consolidate, even when we go home to the East Coast, if you've noticed, oftentimes we'll either stop and visit Aaron's family or add a trip somewhere on the beginning or the end, because it's way more economical than multiple trips or tickets, you know plane tickets.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: So that has been a helpful hack.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: But I went to when I went out to visit my brother a couple of times I flew, I went to Thailand by myself, definitely got scammed Like I would meet, I would stay in hostels and I'd meet and this I was even married when I was doing this.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Aaron's not as much about a traveler so he didn't like going in and because I was visiting my brother, I would stay in some hostels, met cool girls like who are my age and similar enough values.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: I never did anything that I regret on traveling, for the record if you're wondering, but it was so fun for me, the unknown.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: And who am I going to meet?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: And, yeah, so in Thailand I met a cool Brazilian girl.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: We traveled around.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: And then my next step I stopped in Hong Kong before I visited my brother and I met a cool Australian girl and I travel around the city.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: And then I met my brother in the Philippines and we traveled around the Philippines, which was nuts.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, the Philippines.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: There's gorgeous parts, like most people think of missions trips, and I'd be like no, no, I just went to the pretty parts of the world.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Sorry, now I care about missions trips.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Back then I was like I just want beauty, which I don't think it's all as black or white as I had thought it was.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I now think there's so much more gray that you could do, but I was living on the other extreme for most of the religious world.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: And then, oh my gosh, there's these little bitty boats that were ferries and you're like it's almost like a giant canoe is what it feels like, and you're under, like it's covered technically, but it's like a bench covered, you know, and there's like 20 people on this, like casual boat, and the seas were choppy because you have to go from island to island and, like it was nuts, I was like are going to make it across.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: And then went back with my brother to Taiwan and then another trip when I went up to meet with him.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I stopped in Singapore for a day and then on the way home I stopped in Shanghai by myself and I was actually homeless in Shanghai for a night and met some Italian students, like girls, who are about my age, and they let me like crash on their couch because I literally all it was this weird national holiday and all of the hostels, hotels that I could find online or in person.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I just went knocking on the really small ones, even because I was so desperate to find a place, and ran into these Italian women, or, yeah, students, and they let me stay with them.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: So that was like my history Again, recovering addict.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, and then the crowning jewel, the height of my addiction, I would say, is I got a job at our local airport.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Um, it's actually really cool if you're not like me, but you're if you work at.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, it is a cool about this.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: If you work at your local small airport, even if it's, um, it's contracted out through the bigger airlines, uh, you get free.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: One of the benefits is you get free standby flights, which sounds more glamorous than it is.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Standby is actually very chaotic to travel and very anxious producing because you have to check the numbers constantly.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: So it was this weird tension of I got to go see these pretty places and take these trips, but you're like watching the numbers to see if you only get a seat, if there's an empty seat, and it could switch in a moment if there's like bad weather or flights were canceled.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: So there were times that I'd have to.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I was camping because we did it so economically I'd have to pack up everything and be like, oops, we thought we were going home tomorrow.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Everybody it's a mad dash to the airport because this flight is our only flight off the island and we're going to get stuck and I will either lose my job or get written up or we're going to be here for three more days.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: It was just way less glamorous and more anxious.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: It was like Russian roulette You're gambling with your kids and family but you're supposed to be doing this restful thing, hoping you get flights back places.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: But I traveled a ton and Aaron calls that season of our lives my most expensive job.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: It would cost so much when things go awry extra rental cars.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: We never even stayed at a hotel, y'all.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: I did it so economical.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: We camped places.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I would fly with coolers full of food because I was trying to do it so economical, but still it just adds up and gosh.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: I was trying to think of some of the other aspects of it.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, and then you just become addicted to thinking like what's your next hit?
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Where could you go?
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: It's got to make this little part-time job worth it.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: So I honestly think that was probably my lowest moment was working at the airport, because of how centered my energy, life and focus was on trips and that was where, like joy was found, adventure was found on trips.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: And that was where, like joy was found, adventure was found, connection, rest, and it just came.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: I finally quit.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I think I made it nine months, but I was like, oh what.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I kind of I've teased before that when I worked at the airport with the free and traveled as much as I did, it was almost like a alcoholic working at a bar.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: That was the equivalent of that season.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: So that is the height, or the depth low, I guess, of my vacation addiction was working at a bar.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: That was the equivalent of that season.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: So that is the height or the depth low, I guess, of my vacation addiction was working at the airport with the free trips and all the stuff.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: We went and, yes, did we make great memories?
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, did I see beautiful places?
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I think that's the part where I'm like I'm not saying that doesn't happen, but the cost and the chaos and the lack of contentment and actually like what it costs in your everyday life.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: It's like you almost don't get roots.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: It cost that season of my life when I was traveling so much it dramatically impacted my connections locally and my friendships in a way that I was like, oh, that makes sense.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: It's almost impossible to have normal rhythms here, investing here, if I'm literally not here time-wise.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that is why I think maybe you should listen to I'm like the irony of my recovering vacation addict self doing an episode about breaking up with the vacation mentality or idealizing vacations in your life and what they give you, because I was probably more extreme than any of you.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm preaching to the choir here, but this is kind of like what I've learned.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: When I finally had my come to Jesus moment man, I can't remember when that was.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: It was actually right around when I started.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, it was like when my business was ending too.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I started Habit Lab.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Right around the same time I started sobering up for my addiction.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: If you will, by the end of this you're going to be like girl.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: You killed that metaphor.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like I know, I know, I'm sorry, anyways, I yeah.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: So now, being sober from living with trip envy all the time, or constantly planning or dreaming or bucket listing where I want to go, wow, I see so much more clearly.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, I'm so grateful that I have gotten out of that mindset, no longer think the grass is always greener, or chasing my next high.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: The peace and the rest and the connection that I've been able to build in my everyday rhythms have, like truly far surpass those like fleeting highs that I would get on trips.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: And in some level I'm just going to be honest, because it wasn't just about rest.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: I actually enjoy learning and culture, and I'm sure some of you do too, and you're like, how could you do that without you know, visiting the places?
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: But some of it I've.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Just this is going to get a little bit spiritual for you, but I had this like encounter with the Lord, cause I was some of my FOMO of like it's not just about contentment or wanting luxury or escape or, yeah, all the other things that I could see that I could get with better rhythms at home, does that make sense Rather than just using vacations to get those needs met?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: But I was like holding it before the Lord.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: I was like I miss the culture, like I want to see some of these beautiful places, like I traveled to Iceland.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: One of my favorite, sweetest times with the Lord was when I was in Iceland.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: There's millions and millions not really millions but so many waterfalls and I was actually seven months pregnant with Wesley and I was hiking through this hidden waterfall.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: My brother's friend had given us a secret pin and he asked us to turn off our number what is it like you're tracking for your phone?
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Because he didn't want this special spot to get out.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I was laughing.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I felt really grateful he trusted us, but that's how high stakes it was for him and it was a beautiful, stunning spot and a lot of the other waterfalls were really traffic-y with a ton of tourists.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: So I get why he'd want to keep this so remote, but we found that it's like this canyon of all these hidden waterfalls off the beaten path.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Imagine it was behind this parking lot of this museum and the instructions were so dodgy.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: It was like climb over barbed wire fence.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: There should be a step stool that people you know secretly leave behind it.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: And I, sure enough, found the step stool.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Imagine my huge belly trying to climb over a barbed wire fence and then going to this like this gorgeous.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: It almost feels like I don't know land before.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Time-esque.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: But imagine gray, overcast, ireland, you know or not, ireland, iceland.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: But one of my favorite times with the Lord was sitting behind one of these waterfalls, just like wow, you created all of this.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: And actually on all of my trips some of my favorite points are alone, just reflecting at the Lord's creativity and studying work in nature and then the culture being so different.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: I really actually enjoy those parts too.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: So fast forward.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: I was like Lord, I can't get those here, like I actually want to go see the things that you have made that are so beautiful.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: And he just kind of sat and again, I'm not saying I won't, but this I'm going to miss out this FOMO that used to drive me.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I kind of came to terms with the fact like actually all of this life that we're living is kind of like pales in comparison to what eternity is.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Could you imagine and could you almost like be willing to surrender your desire to see, remembering you're not going to miss out, but maybe the things you don't get to see in this lifetime of my beauty and masterwork, like you'll actually get to participate and like enjoy the full version, not the knockoff version, in eternity.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: And honestly, I just had to be like, yeah, I can, I'm going to be okay with not making a bucket list anymore.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'll still probably see things and travel to other cultures.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I for sure have things I want to see and go, but like being okay with and making peace that there's going to be a lot.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to see or learn, but I can still like experience them in attorney.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: So if you can all relate to that, I just wanted to throw that out there too.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: But what I've learned as I've escaped the escape cycle for myself is vacations gave me a quick boost, but I'd come home drained.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: I'd come home behind on my routines, dramatically behind on my routines.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I did not realize how much chaos it evoked and then I'd be right back where I started and looking back I can see I just see it as a boom bust cycle and how much it cost me, how I thought it was giving me rest and refresh, but because of how hard I'd have to work to prep and then how hard I'd work to catch up, it actually was in the long run span it was costing me more than it was giving me.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so the question now, after you hear a little bit that was the intro and then also my little testimony of being a recovering vacation addict is about a little bit of a history of vacations, like framing them from framing that into like a cultural perspective and where the shift happens.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: So you probably know that even like I thought it was interesting, even Roman and Greek time the elites, like the super rich, the noble class, usually would retreat to baths, bathhouses or villas or coastlines, like you know, for their health, but it was like a privilege, you know, to the very elite, not the working class, so very few people did it.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Then fast forward to medieval times when religion became a little bit more prominent and in addition to some of like the nobles still kind of taking their elitist trips like that was the luxury of them not having to work for their money.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Them having it was that pilgrims started to do spiritual travel for masses.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, that's so interesting.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: But how much different that looked than the elite.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Like they would often camp, have whatever they had on their back and camp along the way and bring their food.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: It was like very different.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: And then the 1800s this idea of wealthy European, specifically young men, traveling like grand tours, like traveling the continent.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: If you've ever read some of the Victorian age books they usually reference that how it became a little bit more widespread and not just for the very elite, let's say maybe it was for the 1%.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: The idea of vacations in the Greek time and then Europe time.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Then in the Victorian age, with grand tours, with wealth, it was more like top 10% or 15% of young men, and often they would do it before they start, you know, their careers, almost kind of like the gap year that we have now, but like the origin point of that.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: And then this was so interesting the industrial revolution in the 18, like late 1800s or mid 1800s, I should have written the date exactly through the 1900s.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: It dramatically changed, making travel accessible, like obviously think about it like trains were invented, steamships, so you could actually get across the Atlantic, and it was therefore the accessibility, instead of just being for the top 10%.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: It opened it up on a whole nother level to the masses, because it was feasible and then cheaper.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Obviously, the easier it is and the more people they can move, the cheaper it gets.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: And this was actually during this industrial revolution was the first time the idea of paid leave happened in Europe.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: And then it was interesting too because of the steamboats.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: A bunch of resorts in the US popped up that started flourishing because the Europeans would come over and like want to see or immigrate, you know, like all these things.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, that's so interesting.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: And then fast forward to the 1900s, specifically after World War II, like 1950s on through 60s, when people came back and they were like creating new rhythms from the war and the factories were up and running.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Ford, you know so, like the car brand, employed a ton of people in a ton of factories and they were the first ones.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: I think they were the first ones.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: How about they're giving credit?
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: You could go Google.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: I can't remember if they said actual first ones, but they were the ones who really normalized.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: How about that?
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: The 40 hour work?
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: So for the first time they actually had parameters around how much people worked.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: Therefore they could take rest on more of a regular basis versus how labor-intensive their lives for the working class were.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: And then the cool part, the flip side, also Ford having a big part, not only in the workweek, how they structured it for the first time, but then, obviously, highways were created and then automobiles were mass produced so people could actually get themselves there.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: They weren't just reliant on where train tracks were headed, they could actually go off tracks.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: They didn't have to go where the steamboat was headed, they could take themselves.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: And this is when Disneyland was really popping up.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: And then also national parks.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys remember the history, but I believe it was during the Great Depression, the president, in an attempt to employ a ton of people.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: That's when a lot of the national parks got set up and designed.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: So then, after a bunch of people working on it, now they have cars to go visit it and the 40-hour workweek they started taking vacations and that became.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: That is when, like the 50s through the 70s, is when vacations first became a middle-class staple, which I thought was fascinating.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I'll give more context why I thought it was so interesting that it's only more recently that vacations became such a quote-unquote staple into our culture.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: So fast forward the last 60 years, I would say, since gosh, social media, even modern day expectations around vacation.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: I think this is where why I wanted to broach this subject, because I've had so many conversations like when we were really tight with our money how much of a loss, or almost like not neglect.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: It didn't feel like a subtle luxury we were missing.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: It felt like an essential piece of life that we were missing when we couldn't afford to take vacations, if you will Like how deeply it ran in me of like my kids are going to miss out, they're not going to be well-rounded, they're not going to learn or grow or see, or will miss connecting with XYZ.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: I think I had a mirror moment with the Lord of how much I felt like we were missing out and were on an essential piece of life by not being able to afford vacations, versus looking at how new of an idea it is and how we were not.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: What's the word like not neglecting gosh, I can't think of it how we weren't, how it really wasn't that intense, but I was like it was like heartbreaking and I've talked to a lot of friends who are in tighter seasons and one of the things that is quick in the tightness to be mentioned is the lack of being able to have the funds for trips or travels or vacations, and sadness, like almost this idea that our kids maybe I would say for me, I won't speak for other people almost like neglect, like our kids won't get a crucial part of their childhood or formation without trips.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: And I just felt really convicted to the Lord.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: He's like where did you get that from?
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: This is so deeply in you and your assumptions about what a normal life or thriving life would be.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Where has it come from?
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: And just looking back about how not biblical it is and how much a construct of the world and like have of the world and culture.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: And again, I'm not saying don't take vacations, please hear me, but to take the sting out of when you're in a tighter season or not taking them or keeping up with the Joneses of like.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, actually this narrative that I'm building this assumption on and feeling this pain is not actually aligning with my my what, my values of where I get the rest of my values, from my biblical values.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: This is coming from a lot of cultural values, and I can still look at it Like I'm not saying you know what I mean, like I can still have a want to incorporate that in my life but have it to be as detrimental as I was thinking it was.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I was like it almost took the sting out of it.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: I was like, ooh, I think I'm actually overplaying the role of trips and vacations and how much I'm oh, suffering by not being able to take them and I'm dramatizing.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: But I know I've had enough conversations with friends who are in tight season who feel this way too and they're like we either like we can't take our kids on vacation or a Just kind of taking this thing out Our kids will not be neglected, they won't be malformed, they're not missing a critical part of life.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Rolling back, like what actually is the element that vacations are meant to give us and how can we get those ingredients in normal life?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: So, getting back to the idea of like where'd you get this idea?
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: When the Lord was like, where does this value for it come from, I was like, oh, totally, comes from the worldly culture.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, so the expectations in the last 60 years is vacations have truly moved from a luxury of the elite to a necessity, to like almost a right I would say, and I think that's kind of what Jesus has been poking out of my own heart, of this entitlement to them, like I am thriving if I have enough to have a vacation too.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: And then I honestly think Instagram culture and then fast has really fueled the lack of contentment or the awareness of what you're missing out on adding things to your bucket list, your assumptions of how much so-and-so is traveling, like all of these things really play into this pressure or this idea that we deserve to live like this, or vacations, or trips.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: You know all the things.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: And then two you know, as interesting, as when I was doing this research, covid had a major effect and factor on our cultural perception of vacations because it really widely, widely standardized remote work, therefore the ability to travel, and it's funny how many people look, think that that's what they almost would put in one of the top five appeals of a job if they could work remotely.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: And that comes into wanting to travel.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: But I do have to say from someone who's been self-employed for so long, it is such an idealized idea.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Yes, there is some, for sure, flexibility and wonderful parts of it, but most of the time when you work remote, that means you're actually, yes, you're working in Hawaii, but you're actually still having to get your work done.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: And I personally found and I've heard other people say this, so I'm not alone in this it's almost a little bit like salt in the wound.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: You're in this stunning place but you're actually getting your 40 hours in or answering those emergency emails, or being on like touch, like sorry, being available for that Zoom call that needs to happen for your staff, and you're like, oh, everybody else is outside at the beach now, or my family or my kids are downstairs when we're at this stunning spot, or they're in the hotel and I'm up in the room and I'm in the lobby when I want to be seeing the city.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: It almost makes it worse and makes you more disgruntled because you're working in a pretty place but you're missing out.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: It'd be almost like watching an awesome meal happen and smelling it and not getting to eat it.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: So I do just want to say that if you've ever had a remote work or like a job that was so flexible, you could do the remote.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I do not think our culture has accurately painted what it really feels like if you're gone for long periods of time and trying to work and be at that place.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: It is a lot.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I the other day I actually have these conversations with coaching clients all the time.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: That's part of the reason.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's just unique to my own testimony.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: I wanted to open with that, but I know this is a widespread thing.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: I have so many conversations with people who went somewhere, like either met their parents somewhere or beach vacations or other countries and got you know like we got a, we did.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: We were in this country for the summer and I was working.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: And then when we're talking about they're like I think I'm thinking back, trying to be honest.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I think a hundred percent of the people that I've had these conversations with around the summer recapping their summer and looking at what worked and what didn't work, the long-term places where they were also working at the same point they're going to dramatically cut back how long they're going to be.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: It is they idealize what they thought it was going to feel like and it was actually the analogy we keep coming back to in these coaching calls is it's like running when you're at home, you're running, that's what work feels like.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: But when you're trying to work remote, truly work your full job remotely, it's like running through water.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: It's actually harder and less enjoyable for both aspects versus.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: So I've heard quite a few people conclude I'd rather go for a shorter period of time but be able to be fully off or have a lighter load and then work and be fully in work mode than trying to do a diluted version of both, where both seem harder.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: So just to bust that bubble, if anyone's being like everyone's life.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: But then I think we see it on Instagram and we hear all these podcasts where that freedom is really almost ideal I would say idolized, not even ideal, I would say idolized in our culture.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: And being somebody who's had it and done it and been self-employed for so many years, it is not as glamorous as you think and it's actually takes more brain space to be able to do what you do easy at home with all your systems and set up, especially with kids, than it does somewhere else.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: And most of my edits and the people I've worked with have been scaling back, going for less, so that you aren't trying to juggle both at a time.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: So just wanted to in that brief history of timeline.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to point out that how, in the last few decades, vacations have really shifted from a rare luxury to something we feel entitled to.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: It's the only way to recharge, the only way to rest, the only way to have joy or connection or moments.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: But the catch is that the research and my own story, I would say just say differently yeah, even like the recovering vacation addict in me, there'd be this emotional high outside of the actual.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's talk logistics.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: First You're planning, you're doing the research, you're booking all the things, you're making sure you have all your ducks in a row, then whatever, like that's just for the logistics of the actual trip.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Then you are planning your home, like covering your bases at home, whether you're leaving kids or family or actually just work like everyone's bases at home, whether you're leaving kids or family or actually just work like everyone's going with you.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: But the things that need to happen at your home you have to do the work to that Plus.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: So that's two things extra that you're working on, plus your normal habits and rhythms.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: So it's actually a ton more work ahead of time.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: And I would tell you I did a podcast, I think, last year about the recovery, like how it takes, like, I'd say, my, my own awareness is it takes me 10 days to two weeks to recover and have my habits back up and fully functioning, not recovering at all or trying to catch up after a trip.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: So this is, this is just even the beginning part that I'm talking about.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: So then you're gone and then the recovery.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: I just got back, or we went to camping in the Redwoods and I believe it was actually 10 days ago and yesterday, finally, I felt like I caught up and we went camping for three days.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: We actually don't do weekend trips hardly anymore.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: That would be my big takeaway.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I guess I should tell you what we've switched to.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I don't think weekend trips are actually worth it.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: If you guys haven't read, john Mark Comer was the first person who posed the idea and it was in Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and I was actually kind of offended, not going to lie, I was like he was like weekend trips usually wreak havoc on your rest more than they give you, like they cost way more and we think it's just the time off work, but it's like we don't actually count the cost rightly.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: And then I started noticing I was like ah, he's right.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I didn't want him to be, and I'm imagining you might be listening to me being like.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I don't want her to be right about these thoughts about vacations and idealizing them and entitled to them and how you know, I don't want to escape my escaping mindset of mode.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I want to continue in this method.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: But now, that being said, we rarely do weekend trips.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Because of that, I just, nine times out of 10, say that they're not worth it.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: We went because it was the Redwoods my mother-in-law loves Redwoods and was visiting and it's friends that we've known for a decade and it was our only camping.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: So it checked like four boxes.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: That being said, I do think it was worth it, but if we did them more often it would not be.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: We probably do two weekend trips a year.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: All year we say no.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: Our alternative is we'll do half day adventures around town, which I'm sorry I shouldn't.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: I'm jumping ahead.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to talk about more solutions in the next episode, but my point is I just don't think weekend trips are worth the work.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: They drown me beforehand, they drown me afterwards and it feels like a whiplash of joy, connection refresh, in a way that I'm like they're not actually worth work.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: So we kind of broken up with the idea of doing weekend trips and I wanna submit to you, if you're someone who goes somewhere for Friday, saturday night or just, I'm not taking off anytime, it's not costing me anything because I'm doing it reasonable price and I'm not taking off work.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: The cost on your habits and your normal rhythms at home are dramatic before and after, and then also to the emotional high that you get when you're like doing all the things and then you come back not only to normal life but you're in the hole, like the laundry you have to unpack or that has been waiting for you, or the lawn work, that the yard work that didn't happen.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: There is this pause at home that you have to catch up from.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: That doubles down on the crash afterwards, like not only are you not in an epic beautiful place, maybe tasting amazing food, but you now have to catch up from doing that too.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it just for me realizing like, oh, the trips weren't actually specifically weekend trips, weren't giving it enough lasting rest or connection to be worth the cost.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: I think of it especially when I was working at the airport and had trips more often.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: It was such a boom bust cycle and I'm sure you guys have heard of the concept before, but it was like working like crazy to either be able to take the time off or afford the time off or cover your basis either be able to take the time off or afford the time off or cover your basis and then I'd feel suffocating and overwhelmed in the working like crazy, so then I would need an escape and then I'd crack like so that would be why I had a trip, but I was like living for my trips and I was working like crazy.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: It was just dramatic like work super hard so that you can play super hard, and then you have to work super hard so that and then you need to play super hard to recover from the working super hard and you get literally I'm watching how I used to be and then I have a couple of close people in my life and I'm like this is like a chained cycle.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: They're like a prisoner to what they think's helping them, but it's actually like killing them would be more dramatic, but it's suffocating and it is not giving them the like.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: I think it's one of the main pain points of their life, but they think it's actually helping them.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of something that what would be an analogy of something that you think is giving you life but actually is like slowly drowning you.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: It's what it feels like.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: So it's so common in the American life workaholism.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: Social media even totes it and like puts it in your face.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Or the consumer culture, all that.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: Even the interesting part of social media is how much you think you know.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: In the consumer culture it feels obvious when it's an ad, but behind the scenes, or even if you know that person got paid to do that, or you don't fully know the concept and they're showing you all the things they're doing.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: It's kind of this mentality.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: I think that's why we feel a bit entitled or we're missing out, or it feels like.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: When I told you when you're in tighter seasons that you're deprived and I was like, oh, it's this whole grand scheme working together, you know.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: And then the other boom bust is like vacations, how much they disrupt your habits, and it's like, ha ha, it's worth it.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, actually sleep, my health, my family rhythms, my connection with the Lord is always different and off.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: And I come back and I feel the most honestly now that I've been really intentional about building my home rhythms and schedules and habits.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: I feel the most connected with my family, usually the most rested and centered and connected with the Lord Myself.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: Usually my health is thriving, my sleep schedule is thriving the most in my normal life, and vacation actually disrupts it.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: Now, of course, it's worth it, like we went in April, the spring I went to Ecuador on that missions trip and then we went to see my family on the East Coast.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Again, what we've kind of done.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: I heard a study once that, like 10 days to two weeks, some scientists actually it might've been in John Mark Comer's book did literally a scientific experiment and that's like the peak of enjoyment for rest and refresh is the 10 days to two weeks.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: So instead of taking more sporadic trips that actually just kind of like wreck your life, doing one longer one, and for us it's to our family.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: And then, like I said, we tagged on.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: We went to DC first and then drove to my mom's hometown.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: So it was still like we got a bit of the experience, but without having to do two separate, like it was all this is what we're doing.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: And then came home, and when I was younger, my kids were younger we used to go for longer.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: But now again, I've made more and more edits Like, oh, it's actually not the sweet spot, is this amount of time?
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: It's actually harder to try to go do our normal rhythms there.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I'd rather be fully present or engaged and then go back.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, and then the other trip we did was the Redwoods camping trip.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: So my point is not that we don't ever do vacations, it's just like my most grounded, thriving self is actually not on vacations.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: Because I actually faced the real problem of building my life rhythms to not do this boom bust cycle where I was suffocating in my normal life so I needed to run away from it, or I was they're so heavy or whatever, whether it was the work hours or the emotional or feeling so drained by responsibility of other people that I need to run away.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, actually I'm not facing the problem, I'm actually just avoiding it.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: I need to go to the source and look at my daily, weekly habits and rhythms to build a life that I don't need to escape from, that I'm not suffocating, that I don't feel overwhelmed, that the only option is to leave my world, my relationships, my responsibility to go get some breathing air.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I was like I actually need to do the work and the hard conversations and the self-control more in the weekly habits and rhythms so that I'm not needing at like I'm not living for vacation.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: It's not the solution to my life, where I no longer need a solution to my life, and I know not everyone is like that or lives like that, but I do know I've watched and have seen such a pattern that there are a lot of people who were like me and could relate to that.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: So my point is like maybe vacations are actually not the solution, they're short-term fix.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: But the harder thing or the reason we don't do it is actually fixing your life rhythms, your normal life rhythms, relationships, rest, connection, reset, healthy habits, sleep, food so that you are thriving in your normal life.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: And vacations the extra cherry on the top, not the essential that actually has is like the fuel that keeps you going until you can't do it anymore and they have to go back so that you can do your normal life.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Like your vacations are not fueling your normal life.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: Your normal life isn't something that is suffocating or overwhelming, and that was like a huge shift for me with habits, and that is one of the reasons I'm actually doing a time management course this fall.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: So you guys know that I've done Habit Lab, the mastery course, for years.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: This is the first fall I'm actually not launching it, but instead the reason I'm not and I'm doing this time management course.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: I'll put the link to the waitlist in the description for this episode.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: That wait list will be there.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: But the reason I'm not doing it is because if I really parsed it down to, you can design all these great habits.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: But if you don't have time management like what you're doing in your day, the building blocks of your day, the building blocks of your week, being able to tell yourself what to do and do it, the consistency, seeing the balance in your weeks that's actually where a balanced life comes from is, I think, being able to manage your time well and say yes and no and control yourself and make sure that you, if you have a value for rest, connection, reset, that you're actually building that into your week instead of trying to use the vacation to fix this systemic problem.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: You know, I actually think a better solution is fixing your life rhythms.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Hence time management is kind of the somebody said once if in the habit world, time management is your operating system, where the habit is actually an app.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: So it's great that you have that app, but if your operating system isn't working, you can't open it, you can't use it.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: It's almost like useless.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: The app is useless if the operating system for your phone is out of date or corrupt or not working or doesn't exist.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh, it's so true.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: I actually think your time management habits kind of are the bedrock for all other things.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: It's almost like your system that you can then add, like a shelf that you can then add habits to.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: But if you don't have a shelf that's erect, you know standing, can hold weight, is reliable, is sturdy, then it's habits.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: Building a habit to put on there is almost silly because the whole shelf will collapse.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: You're like that was a great habit, but I don't actually get a normal amount of sleep, or I don't say no to birthday party, I don't say I don't prioritize rest, or I don't protect my health, or my sleep is the last thing on my priority list, like, oh, we actually have to start there, yeah.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: So that is one of the reasons why I'm doing this class is because I think that that is the fundamental, almost like the foundation for all other habits is actually your time management habits.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: And when I was looking at this, doing a bit more research on the vacation and realizing how I had actually used it like a bandaid to not deal with the actual root of it, like that's why I didn't look at it for so long until the Lord took me on a journey of recovering from using vacations like that and again, I don't think everyone's as bad or as intense as I was.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: I'm just kind of speaking from.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: I think it's helpful to have before and afters, you know, so like weight loss journey, that is this for me.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: But realizing even the research on vacations, happiness for sure spikes before.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you've heard the idea before that anticipation.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: Actually I remember I don't remember what book I was reading, but they had like done somebody like map, brain mapping to see the like levels in people's brain, and you actually got as much happiness anticipating the trip as they actually did on it.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy, like it was the same.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: So a lot of times, the planning the trip, the looking forward to it, the anticipation is half the battle.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: But I'll actually milk that then.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: So maybe I'm not don't have something for a while, but with the kids like we'll get on in Google and we'll research.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: When we were going to Washington DC, my mom said Audrey books about things and it was like, oh, I'm going to if the anticipation actually is part of it.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Instead of doing more, I'll be more intentional about almost like savoring it while we're getting up there.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: But the same research shows that, yes, happiness spikes before and then during, but it fades after, which we'd all you know, they call it like post-vacation blues, isn't that like?
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: Isn't that the like trendy term right now?
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: But it actually I had read one study that said it goes beneath it like dips below the line of your baseline, like you actually are worse off a bit before after a trip, before it like equalizes again.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: You're like, oh, that's literally follows the same pattern as other addictions, like hits, it's like a dopamine hit, you know, and it's crazy.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Oftentimes anticipation is more enjoyable than the actual trip, especially if you have small children.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Oh man, it's like.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Have you ever seen some of the reels on Instagram that are like taking your kids on vacation is not vacation, it's just parenting, it's a world tour or a national tour of playgrounds in different states or parks, or I'm like it's so true, you're just parenting in different locations.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: And then social media adds this comparison pressure too for us thinking everyone's, we're keeping up with the Joneses, or this is what we do to have a thriving life, or entitled, or that looks so wonderful.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: Now I like, now I'm envious, I want to go there and experience that.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: And then, interesting too, the cost is so high.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: Actually, the monetary cost is around $2,000, well, $2,100 per person.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: Last year this was the number per trip, which I'm like no wonder it gets expensive.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: And then I think, if y'all are like me and we're doing real economical, I'm like cramming six of us into the Comfort Inn and the free continental breakfast that the eggs were like, are these even real eggs or were they just powder and water?
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, was that even worth it?
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: What we actually got?
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: When we're trying to do it on a budget, was that as enjoyable as I thought it was going to be?
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: So in this, looking at, like we said, if the solution, if vacation is actually just the fruit, like what is the actual root that you need?
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: Like what is the need in your life?
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: What are we actually craving?
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: That we're thinking or wrongly thinking vacations or trips will hit.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: It's not necessarily the trip itself.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: I would say that most of the time speaking for myself and for what I've heard, sitting coaching people who are trying to figure out their balance and taking less trips because they see the cost more plainly for what it actually costs their day-to-day lives and habits and rhythm.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: So what you're looking for in a trip is usually connection, so kind of like making that the priority, like we'll get more family time.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: You know, heart, connect, whatever you want to say rest, joy and adventure.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Maybe we could add like learning, if we're talking about like different cultures and stuff, but those are like the four or five top things.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: So it's like, oh okay, give yourself an honest assessment.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Have your last few vacations actually delivered that more?
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: Or when I started seeing it a little more plainly, I was like when was the time that I felt the most connected, the most rested, the most joy, the most adventure?
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: And I started noticing how not often they were on trips, how more often it was normal everyday moments that I wasn't working so hard, hadn't planned, hadn't been spending the money, all these other stressors that come with trips.
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: That actually the connection we got oh my gosh, like my favorite time was when we were sitting that evening.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: We had a slow evening and we're sitting in our front yard having lunch and then all the neighbors came by eventually and we were talking and we helped that neighbor fix her bike and then she was racing Wesley and then I was like, oh my gosh, my favorite times.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: If vacations are meant to give us connection, rest, joy, adventure, my actual favorite times were rarely found on vacation.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: Of those things, the times I got those the highest did not have the extra stressors that vacation have and they were in my normal life and I was like, wow, maybe in this honest assessment, do vacations actually deliver what I think they were, or do they just distract me from the deeper needs?
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: Or does the cost?
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: Have I been idealizing the fruit and minimizing the cost?
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: So that is food for thought.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: I do not want to be a Debbie Downer.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: I do think trips and vacations are wonderful, but they won't fix a life that feels unbalanced.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: If you feel yourself stuck, like I was describing, in that escape cycle that boom bust, working hard, escaping hard, crashing, repeat, work hard, play hard, I need a vacation from my life Now I have to go work to pay for my next vacation.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: If you feel like you're stuck in repeating that, it might be time to ask do I need more trips or do I need more balance in my day-to-day life?
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: Does my actual normal life rhythms can I go after building habit, healthier habits that give me more, better, more often connection, better rest, better joy and better adventure in my day-to-day life, instead of trying to wait to the next hit on a vacation.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: So that's what's gonna and like looking at that balance and creating that balance is what my upcoming time management course is gonna be all about.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: It's gonna help you find and build the rhythms of rest, joy, connection and adventure woven into your everyday life.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: Cause I, after four how many years has it been?
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: It hasn't been four years, I think it's been three years as a recovering being sober from my vacation addiction, having these like consistently over time little bits in your everyday life will be so much more dramatically shifting your quality of life than big epic vacations ever will.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: And I've done shifting your quality of life than big epic vacations ever will.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: And I've done epic vacations, I have done some really awesome ones, but the last three years of getting these little bits of better of connection, joy, rest, adventure in my own, in my everyday habits, has been paid off.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: The ROI has been way bigger, way bigger.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: So that, get on, get on the waitlist.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: If you're realizing, as we're talking, like, oh, I actually need to figure out how to do what.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: I've been trying to fill that void with vacations.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: I need to find it in my everyday and I need to actually take an honest look at my life and find a better balance, and to do so I need to really strengthen some of my time management skills.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: The course launch is going to be in September.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: The waitlist is open now.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: There's a link in the show notes and my next episode I'm going to dive into part two how to practice a vacation mindset every day, because I don't actually think the piece that you are craving requires a plane ticket.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: I don't think the piece you're looking for the joy, the connection requires the cost of a vacation.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: I think you can get it elsewhere and it'll be a better ROI on your life.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, thanks for listening, guys.
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: Bye.