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DELAYED BUT NEVER DENIED 22825 · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Distros, practice Tastic Disneys of Disasto tests, bass THESS Tractice,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Tests of Bosses.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Us of Past and Past.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Costal host.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another episode of Delay but Not
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: Denied Podcast. Tonight we're gonna be talking about what it
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: looks like moving on after a marriage is done. When
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: you've tried all that you can try and and nothing
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: seems to work.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: What do you What do you do next? Where do
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: you go?
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: So? I wanted to read this, this quote on letting go,
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: and it just says, letting go means to come to
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: the realization that some people are a part of your history,
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: but not a part of your destiny. And with that
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: being said, I want to bring up my my, my people,
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: my friends, my sisters, Trevita and.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: And Hello, Hello, how are y'all good? How about yourself?
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Girl?
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: I'm over here fighting, but you fighting for I have
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: got me fighting for my life.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Listen, I don't envy that fight at all, because I
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: have to give myself a motivational speech every time it's
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: time to do my health.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: So, but can I tell you my daughter in law
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: gave me all the tools to do it myself.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: I started and as you can see. These are are
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: nice and fresh. That's about it. That's all we got.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well he started. I started that. That's the start, and.
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: That's saying something because you know how I am with starting.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. So you started that, that's a start.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Then we're gonna We're gonna go with that.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Absolutely.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: But y'all, all three of us have sat in this
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: boat of moving on, and Trevita, with you being the
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: at the forefront being being able to say that you
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: you know, you're on the other side of it now.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So what did moving on and starting over look
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: like for you?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: My goodness? Okay, Well, I will say it was very
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: tough in the beginning, simply because I spent thirteen and
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: a half years with this person three kids later, and
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: we were sixteen and seventeen when we met. I was
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: twenty seven when we separated, you know, and so he
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: was all I knew. He was, you know, my person,
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: And to actually think about doing life without that person
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: was definitely life changing. And didn't know what I was
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: gonna do. But I prayed and asked God to make
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: sure that I was doing what was right and what
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: was necessary, and to help me make sure that I
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: stayed the course, you know, and it didn't look so
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: pretty at times. You know. There were days that I
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: said and I looked in that mirror and I'm like, Lord,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: what am I supposed to be doing? Because that's all
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I knew. That was my safety, you know. And I
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: got these three small kids, and I can't fold, I
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: can't afford to go down. So what am I supposed
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: to do? And then I internalized, you know, a lot,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: because it's like, what did I do for my marriage
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: to end?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Was I not attentive enough? Was I not a supportive enough?
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: But I also recognized the distance that had become between us,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: you know, And people think I'm crazy when I say this,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: And that is around I say, year five of being married,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: not being together, But year five of being married, I
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: went to him and I said, listen, I can see
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: that you're growing distant in this relationship. And if you
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: need to step away to get yourself together, you're free
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: to go and do that. But if you choose to stay,
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: then I need you to plug into this relationship, to
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: this family. I need you to lead. I need you
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: to be the husband, and I need you to be
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: the father. This is not like a hall pass, as
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: you guys say, are people say nowadays, It was that
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: it was a time for him to go and you know,
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: just get himself together, because being a husband and being
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: you know, a wife, if you don't have those hard conversations,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: you tend to grow apart, you know, you tend to
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: sentiment towards each other. And I didn't want that. I
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: was trying to give him the space to grow into
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: who I needed him to be, you know, and also
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: recognizing that he wasn't his best self, and it wasn't
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: it wasn't anything outside of that because I cared for
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: him deeply. My life revolved around my husband and my children,
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: and I lost myself and so it was like, okay,
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: but I lost me, But I'm still recognizing that you
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: have lost yourself as well, and I'm giving you the
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: opportunity to go and find who that is so that
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: you can actually back in to where we were and
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: continue to grow and build. And that was a hard thing.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: It was a hard conversation for me to have. But
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I don't think he even took me serious. And that
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: may have been you know, why he didn't take it,
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: But I don't know. But that was an opportunity and
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: a conversation that we did have. And when I tell
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: people that there was like, so you were just gonna
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: walk away. No, it wasn't me walking away. It was
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: understanding that my husband was not available to be my husband.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: He would with his own issues. And I'm being the
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: wife that I knew to be to say, hey, listen,
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: you're not here right now, and I don't know what
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: it is, and I don't know how to help you,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: but if you need to go out and find yourself
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: and explore life. Because we were young when we got together,
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: our daughter when we were seventeen and eighteen years old,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: and we got married at the age of twenty one.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: So that's a lot of life and a lot of
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: things that he probably felt that he was missing out on,
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Like he started wanting to go to the clubs and
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: things of that nature. So you can go by yourself.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: That is my forte. I don't like me. I'm not
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: gonna be sitting right next to you hollering at you
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: just to have a conversation. Certain you you free to go,
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: I'll be back. I'll be watching whatever Matt lot over.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: But then it was really news, and you know, I'm
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: watching the news or you know, whatever show was on
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Channel seven at that time, because the very same I'm
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: not trying to be in nobody's club. You ain't trying
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: to baby, that ain't my forte. Ain't never been my forte.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: So when people be like, I remember you from the club, baby,
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: you remember somebody else because you ain't never seen me there,
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: because that ain't my place. If I want to drink
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: some baby, I'm at the house because I'm gonna go
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: to scheel.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Uh huh.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: That that that's me. But everybody, you know, that's the truth.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: I was getting.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: Say, the closest you've ever been to actually stepping out
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: is the party that I had at the hotel.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's that's about it. You know, baby, you
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: ain't gonna find me in these places, in them spaces
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: because it ain't my assignment. I ain't the club person.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: I don't like my music too loud. I ain't never
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: you're doing too much, don't sit down some well, I
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: don't know, we're not doing that.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: I would like to be able to control my music.
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: I want to.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I want to go between my gospel.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna go to no rap or nothing. But
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna go to my R and B, my old
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: school R and B. This new stuff. I don't know
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: what they talking about. I have no club and I'm
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: not trying to figure it out because I'm the type
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: of person if a new song coming, I got to
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: analyze it, I got to do all of that. And
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: my kids saying I'm not I'm missing the whole aspect
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: of just being for no, no, no, baby, I got questions.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I got questions made no sense to so I need
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: to understand. And I don't think they be understanding the
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: words that they be using in these songs because they
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: don't know the definition of I know, we don't change
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: a lot of these definitions to certain things, but baby, no,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: I will say, I will say.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: As far as music today, Chris Brown's Residuals has me
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: in a choke holl because.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and that song resonates on so many different levels.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Because you spend so much time with somebody, you invest everything,
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: and then when you're no longer with that person and
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: you find your new person, it's like what's left over,
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: So all that you invested over here is now being
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: appreciated by someone else, Right, it's like, Okay, well you
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: know I tried. Yeah, didn't work out, But you know,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: there's a difference in it. I look at relationships now
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: of investments and liabilities. What is the liability it's gonna
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: cost me to invest in you because I don't want
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: to lose me again. That's hard because that's definitely what happened. Yeah,
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I don't want to lose me again. So if it's
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: gonna cost me more to invest in you, then you
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: become a liability to me. And I don't need you
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: being a liability. I need you to be an asset. Yeah.
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: So you know, So on that topic of losing yourself
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: while you were married, how long did it? How long
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: did it take for you realize Okay, wait a minute,
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: I'm not I'm not. I don't remember who I am.
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: And how was the process of trying to get back
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: to figuring out who.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Y'all hear me talk about this all the time. It
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: is the self inventory list. That is what I did.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: And I.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Got out of the shower, big mirror in front of me,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: bear birthday suit and all, and I'm like, now I
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: see me, and I don't know who that person was,
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: but I see me now, and I got to do
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: some homework, and I had to do the hard work
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: of learning what life good qualities were, what my bad
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: qualities were, what I still needed to grow in, what
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: areas I needed to grow in, and what areas I
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: needed to say. Okay, that's good right there. And I'm
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: still learning me now. And it's crazy because I was
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: just thinking before we got on here while I was
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: taking my child, and I'm like, you know, I've grown
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: so much over the years that I've grown into the
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: person who no longer cares about what people really think
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: about me in the sense of I'm not pleasing to
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: you anymore. I'm pleasing what it's pleasing to me.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: If I don't want to do something, baby, I'm gonna
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: go ahead and tell you I don't want to do it,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: and I don't care that you're mad that I don't
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: want to do it. Usually it would be like, oh, well,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna, you know, try to accommodate in the best
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: way that I can. Now, baby, I can't. I'm not,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: so you can be mad. And if you don't like me,
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: that that's a you problem, not a me problem.
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: So I'm not worried about those things anymore. I used to,
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: but now it's like all right, And I don't know
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: if that has to do with me turning forty six,
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But at this point, baby, I don't care.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I ain't got no time.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: I'm not forty six.
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, also have it going for that and I'm almost
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: in that mode like I really don't care.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I'm not in that space no more. Baby,
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Either you like me or you don't. And if you
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: don't it it's a hey. And you know, this is
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: this is, this is how I know God works, and
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: this is this is gonna be It is kind of
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: on the subject, but kind of off the subject because
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: all relationships we have and we come across people who
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: want to self sabotage are subjects that we're going through.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: And so you remember when I was in school, this
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: is this is how God works, and he humbles you
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: in situations and I work on being humble, and I
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: did not realize how humble he was gonna make me
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: in this part. And it's crazy because the situation that
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: I'm in right now, it's it's God all by himself.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: But I was in school and I had my program director,
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: and it was a class that I was taking and
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: my my dictation class. It went completely online and you
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: didn't have a book anymore. So the book was supposed
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: to be available for the class classes eleven weeks. Anyway,
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: the book did not download until week six. Mid terms
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: are due and everything, and my director calls me in
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: the office and she's like, your grade in that class
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: is a twenty two. Now, mind you, My program director
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: had the book that I needed for the class. She
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: would not give it to me. So she said, I
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: just don't see you pulling up that grade in that
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: class to be able to move on to your next
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: two terms. I said okay, and so she was like, yeah,
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: it's a twenty two. I just don't see you bringing
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: that up in time you got mid terms. And I
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: told her, standing in that office, I said, you obviously
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: have no idea the things that I faced in this life.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: God has the final say, and I walked out, Hello.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: The crazy thing about that is in two weeks, I
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: pulled that grade up from a twenty two to a
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: eighty five, ended up passing that class with the B.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Now bring it forth. You know. She tried so many
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: different things to just hinder me and make it difficult
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: for me. Guess what Now she's now a coworker of mine,
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: and guess who's training her.
• 16:24
  Speaker 6: You look at God, so it's like, you know, it's like, okay, God,
• 16:33
  Speaker 6: it was a battle that I was fighting, but I
• 16:35
  Speaker 6: did not understand that, you know, Like I told her
• 16:40
  Speaker 6: that just God has put me in positions to actually overextend,
• 16:45
  Speaker 6: you know, and whatever he has for me, he has
• 16:48
  Speaker 6: for me.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: But it came full circle when my my manager was like, well,
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: we got a new candidate that's starting and she's got
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: an she's got a great, awesome and I was like, okay.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Brought me the resume and I looked. I said, this
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: name sounds familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: on it. And now I'm reading the resume and I said,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: you have got to be kidding me. Why would you
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: do this? But then it became clear she wanted me
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: to fail. She wanted me not to succeed. Now, whatever
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: her issue was with me, I still to this day
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: don't know. But we were in a situation yesterday and
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: this is how unbothered I am with it. You know,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: like I'm training her absolutely no problems because when she
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: came in and she was like introducing herself, and I
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: was like, I know who you are. She's like, you do,
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: and she was like yeah. I said, yeah, I absolutely
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: know who you are. And so she was like, well,
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: how do you know me? I said, from Virginia College.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: She said, oh, that was a long time ago. I said, yeah,
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: it was. And I kept on doing what I was
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: doing me it was to say and the lights were
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: kind of dim in the office because I hadn't quite
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: opened up for the day, and so lights came on.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: She came back up. She said, oh, yeah, I do
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: recognize you. I remember your face. I'm going on about
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: my business, you know, I'm not really entertaining it because
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: it is what it is. So we I spent most
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: of the day yesterday training her and everything good. Then
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: I was talking to one of the other coworkers about
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: where ellen Bird's was in between somewhere in North Carolina,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: and so she was in the conversation and so she
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: was like the girl asked him. She was like, well,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: do you know where that is? And I said yeah,
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: and I'm you know, thinking about pinpoint, what city is
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: close to it or whatever, and so she was like,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: so you just didn't know where it was. I kept
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: on with the conversation. So she turns and says, you
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: didn't catch that shade. I said no, I called it.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: I just chose to ignore it and kept right on
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: with the conversation. Because it's like, you want me to
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: be bothered by the shade that you're throwing at me. Baby,
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I'm so unbothered. I don't care. That's why I kept
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: on talking. I heard you, I heard exactly what you said,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: but I do not care because it was irrelevant. At
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: the end of the day. You have to you need
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: me right now. It's okay. So you're starting to remember
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: why whatever your issue was with me, you probably still
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: have that same issue. I don't care. I do not.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: But God will put you in situations that you were
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: fighting battle that you didn't even realize you were fighting.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: But God has already won the war for you. So
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: this is my completion of that. And it's just like God,
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: I see what you're doing now it all makes sense,
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: and so learning to be humble in those types of
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: situations you don't really know what God is doing. And
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: it looked hard for me, really looked hard, and I
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: didn't know anything about it. And I completely forgot about
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: this woman. You know, I completely forgot about it. But
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: it's like, God, you brought this back to me. For
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: whatever reason, you brought this back to actually show that
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: whatever she was trying to do in that moment, she
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: could not win. And it was basically what I had
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: told her in that office, that you don't know the
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: God that I serve, and he brought that back. He said, Okay,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: I'll show you why who you are is who you
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: are and who I've created you to be. So life
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: in this aspect of relationships, because all relationships are acts
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: of service, and we don't look at them like that.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: Most of the time, what you give and what you
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: receive has to be coexistent. And in relationships, we don't
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: always want to have those hard and difficult conversations because
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: we don't want to offend anybody. But uncommunicated expectations ruin
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: a lot of relationships because we don't talk to them
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: about what our expectations are. And if you're not talking
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: to them about what you expect, what your triggers are,
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: what your past look like, people always say, well, I
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: don't really know what. I don't want to talk about
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: my past, you know, my past is my past, but
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: your past affects your future sometimes, you know, you bleed
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: on people who never cut you, you know, and that's
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: not fair to them, you know, like right, you bleed
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: on people who did not hurt you, who do not
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: cause you any pain or do anything to you in
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: any capacity. But they're paying the price of YO yesterday.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: How fair is that? That's not fair to them for
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: them paying the price of YO yesterday when they're trying
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: to be YO today and YO tomorrow. Say that that's
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: not that's not cool. But one of the things that
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: I've learned and as I've gotten older, you know, you
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: have your scars from your childhood. God is so amazing.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: And I will say this because I had so many
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: scars from running into the tree, flipping off my bike
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: because I was such a tomboy. But y'all right, and
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: so I'm looking over my body and I'm looking for
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: the scars, y'all, I can't find these scars. What I
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: know where they are, you know, I know where they were.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: But God has healed me in such a way that
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, I know what I've been through, I
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: know what You've brought me through. But there are no
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: residual effects. God, here is none of that. But if
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: I never told you, and since I don't have the
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: visible scars, you never know. But I know what He's
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: healed me from because I'm gonna tell you. You know
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: the barrel of the curling iron. I dropped it on
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: my chest like right here, and it was an imprint
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: of the barrel. That's how deep that burn was. But
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: there is absolutely no scar there, Wow, not one. I've
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: had four biopsies on my breast for checking for breast
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: cancer since I was twenty three years old. There is
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: not one scar from not one biopsy that I had done.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: So God, if you allow him to heal your wounds,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: you won't even see the scars of where you were broken.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: But you gotta let God do the mending. But we
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: don't want to give him the time to do that,
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: but you gotta give it to him. If you want
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: to heal from something and you want to walk away
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: from something, then give it to God and leave it there.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Don't be going on over there asking him, Well, God,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: when you're gonna heal me from that time that we
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: struggle with? Yeah, and God, say manjo business.
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: Because I'm struggling with the time.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: God say, manjo business this this. He don't operate on
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: our time. He operates on his own. And he is
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: God all by himself. He don't need you coming you
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: checking every five minutes. You just prayed this prayer. Look, God,
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: sit down, you got rights on the stove cooking, and.
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: I need I need a line.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: God ain't gonna give you that. God will show you
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: what he trying to take you, but he ain't gonna
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: give you the straight and narrow path that you want
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: to go on. God gonna take you through some stuff
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: to see if you really want it, how bad you
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: say you want it. And that's the thing. We don't
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: want to go through. We don't want to see everything.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: We just want to get to the finish line. God said, Okay,
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: you want to get line, You're gonna have to go
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: down in this valley to get there. Then you're gonna
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: have to go up this mountain to get there. Are
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: you willing to do that? Are you want to reroute?
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: And you try to rerout that's that free will that
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: we be doing, and we get off course, and then
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: now we're mad at God. No, God, like I didn't
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: do that. I'll have to be ground and do that
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: by yourself. And now you over here looking like God,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: why end up over you? You took that turn. I
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: told you to go right and you decided to go left.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Now you're looking at me. I told you mind your business,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: That's what I said. But now you going over there
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: wanting to be grown thinking you knowing time, you won't
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: even let the rights on the soul get done yet.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: But you bothered me.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: You know, I got a question for you though, Trivia,
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: just based off of the conversation that you had last night,
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: and I was all in the comments, But what does
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: moving on and as you said, you know, not bleeding
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: on the other person for something that somebody from your
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: past did, what does that look like for you?
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: Because I know you know you are in a good
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: space right now, and how.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Do you want to get there?
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: We're trying to get there, but we would like to
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: know how how how do you keep from punishing him
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: for something that.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Did, having those hard conversations and letting him know what
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: triggers me, you know, and what I'm still working on,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Like we we just had a conversation not too long ago.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Because you know I'm gonna be moving soon and so
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: I'm terrified. I am absolutely terrified. And it's not I'm
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: terrified in the sense of I'm not willing to do it,
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: because I'll do anything afraid. I'm just gonna take the chance,
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: take the week. However, it's being away from my children.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: My children are my life, and that's what I know.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: And also I've been in fighting flight mode, survival mode
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: my entire life, and I've depended upon self more so
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: than anything. And so having somebody who says I got it,
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: and I got you, there's nothing for you to worry about.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: It's different, and I'm not sure how to take it,
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: you know. And so we have these conversations and he
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: allows me the space to feel what I feel and
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: express it. And it's not, well, why you feel like that?
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: That don't make no sense, you know. It's one of
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: those things where like he opens doors and gets an
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: attitude if I try to open my door. But I'm
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: so used to being me and being independent, so that
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: when it's time to get out of the car, I
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: just get out of the car and then I look
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: and I have to remember, oh, he did let me
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: try to close the ba before you get away.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: He did that to you after we left that Drew
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Hill concert. Yes, my car and you were getting ready
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: to get in his. He was telling me to let
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: you know when I got to my but then quick
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: enough to look at you and say what you doing.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: On the door? He don't, he don't. He don't play that.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: And it's like, okay, sir, wait a minute. And I
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: tell him all the time. He's like, okay, I slide
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: this time, but don't don't do that them all. And
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, you know, like carrying bags and things
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: of that nature. And my boys are the same way,
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: you know, if I'm trying to carry backs, like I
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: was get not the car the other night and Nathan
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: came to the car to meet me to get out
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: of the car, and so we had I had some
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: bags in the back seat and so I'm, you know,
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: getting out of the car to try to get the
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: bags and he's looking at me like what are you doing?
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm getting the bags. He was like,
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: what have you ever touched a bag when I'm in
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: the car with you, And I'm like, well I have before.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: He was like, you don't do that. You can grab
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: your computer bag because I don't want to be responsible
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: for I said, Okay, you know what he said, I
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: don't know why you're thinking you grown and stuff. You
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: keep thinking you grown and you not, and I keep,
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: you know what, I'm just going in the house. Yeah,
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: he talked about, Yeah, you go going in the house,
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: and you're gonna get rid of me because you already
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: trying to do too much and I ain't.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: Thought us tonight get you.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: So it's like, my boys are the same way with me,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: and I'm grateful for that because it just goes to
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: show that they have been raised right and that they
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: knew how to treat on woman and be respectful and
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: be mindful of the things that they say and they do.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: And you know, also, my kids are bossy, but they're
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: they're mine, and you know, I know they get it honestly,
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: you know. So I you know, be too, you know,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: picky about it because I raised them that way. But
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: it's like, okay, I'm your mama though, and they be like, okay,
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: and my mom is still hard headed too, So I'm like,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: and I ain't really trying to be hard headed, but
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: if that's how you want to call it, I guess.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: But moving on where I'm at right now. It's a
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: really good space. But this is oh Lord, I'm the class. Yes,
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: and I'm gonna tell you this, you know, during my
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: time of singleness, because this is our second time being together,
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: him and I. When we were together the first time,
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: I was still healing and I still had a lot
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: of unhealed trauma and triggers that I never really talked about,
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: and so we had to go our separate ways and
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: we were apart for seven years. However, in those seven years,
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: I did a lot of growing, working on myself, other
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: relationships and things of that nature. But I prayed a
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: prayer in the midst of being single throughout those seven years,
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: and before I would ender in different relationships or whatever,
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: I prayed a prayer and that prayer was, God, if
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: I've already met my husband and I ran him away,
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: please send him back. Callelujah.
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: That was my prayer. And so that's where we are now.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: I felt that, Oh, I felt that it was one
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: of those things where I you know, when you remember
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: your prayers and your prayers are answered, you know, it's
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: like okay. But that was my prayer, and it was
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: like God, in my brokenness, I couldn't see anything that
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: he was bringing to me because I was unhealed in
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: those spaces and I didn't know what unconditional love looked like.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what it felt like. And for somebody
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: to have my back, and you know, to be supportive,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: to be encouraging, to support anything that I got going
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: on in the capacity of it's not we're not competing
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: with each other. We are building each other, Ying and Yang,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: salt and pepper, you know. It's basically like that. And
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: it's literally like that because you know, and so it's
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: being in a space and being appreciated for who I
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: am and being welcomed in a space not only by him,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: but his family as well. And his family is proud
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: of me, you know, and when I'm in their presence,
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: it's just like child. I've been there. I've been part
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: of the family before I even met the.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: Family, you know.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: And so to hear how he speaks of me, you know.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: I was with him almost three weeks ago and I
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: was at his job and one of his coworkers came
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: over and was talking to me. He was like, so,
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: you write books and you help people write books. And
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: I'm like, so, what, yeah, I do And I'm like, oh, yeah, right,
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: and like him and his coworker, they were over there talking,
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: but I wasn't paying him no attention because i was
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: watching a movie on the laptop. So I'm in my
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: own little space, minding my own business, you know. And
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: so he comes over and starts talking to me about that.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: He was like, yeah, that's really cool, and I was like, yeah,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: it is, you know. And he was like, so, how
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: long you been doing it? I said, well, I really
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: haven't been doing it very long. I've been a writer
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: most of my life, but I've only been doing this
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: part for about, you know, four and a half years,
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: I said. But you know, and I'm still kind of
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: weirded out in this space. And then I'm like and
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: so when he comes over, I'm like, what are you doing?
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: He was like what youre talking about? I was like,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: you just over there telling all my business.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: He was like.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, and I was like yeah. He like okay, and
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: and he was like yeah, I said, he just seems
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: so fascinated by that. He was like, because number one,
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: you don't broadcast everything that you do. You're so quiet
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: and you're so reserved and everything, and when you start
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: to talk about what you do. You light up and
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: it's a passion for you, and I'm like, yeah, but
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: I'm still kind of shot, sir. I'm still getting used
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: to this, and you just telling everybody I'm not used
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: to that, you know. And so when I see his
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: mom or I see his grandma and they start talking
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: about the things that I'm doing, and I'm like, okay,
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: you guys got to slow it down, you know. I'm
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: I'm not used to this, and they're just like, well, child,
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: you'll be alright. It's okay. But having that kind of
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: reception and having somebody that speaks so highly of me come,
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: I mean from my last relationship where that was not
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: the case. You know, it was like you helped me
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: to start this, but at the same time, you didn't
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: believe that I could continue, and it was like you
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: put me in a position to win, but you didn't
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: want to see me win. And that's what it was,
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: because it was always well, I just didn't think you
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: were going to continue. Well, what do you mean you
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: didn't think I was gonna continue? Well, most of the
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: time when I give people advice, they don't actually follow
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: through with it. Okay, Well, I have told you before
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: I'm not like most people. You can't put me in
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: a box that I don't fit in, and you keep
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: trying to fit me in the box of YO Yesterday,
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: And I don't fit in YO Yesterday. I fit in
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: the box that's made for me, and you can't seem
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: to grasp that. Any challenge that I've ever been faced with,
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: I put God in the front of it, and I
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: just follow what He tells me to do. So that
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: doesn't mean that I'm gonna fail just because it looks hard. Yeah,
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna take a break from it. I'm gonna walk
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: away and refocus on what it is that I need
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: to do, and I might go have a little cry
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: about to have a little whole conversation down with God
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: about it, because I'll be like God, I don't think
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: this right. I think I'm supposed to be going this way,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: but you keep putting me on this path and I'm
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: baiting with you on it. But it's like like a chameleon.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: You know, whatever a coameleon is put in, they adjust
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: to it and they camouflage themselves to fit in so
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: that it keeps them safe and protected. And that's what
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: God does for me, and in these situations, and so
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: it was like to have somebody that speaks of me
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: in a way that uplifts me, encourages me, coming from
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: somebody who was just like, Okay, well yeah, that's good,
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: but I just don't see you continuing or you know,
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: couldn't support me in the same manner. And it's like
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: I'm speaking of you highly, but you talking about me
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: like I ain't nothing, you know. And so I had
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: to understand that I'll support ain't good support. And everybody
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: don't want to see you win, even if they put
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: you in a position to win, you know. And so
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: learning that it's like, Okay, I'm still gonna pray that
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: you continue to win even if you don't want to
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: see the same for me, and that's okay. And so
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: learning that during that that relationship, it's like you never
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: had any intention on seeing me grow because you saw
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: me as your competition and not as your partner. And
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: I don't have time to be in competition with somebody.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: I'm still trying to grow with you. We had a
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: conversation after my trip and I was coming back from
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: the event in Atlanta in June, and I had hoped
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: that he would have went with me, but he didn't.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: And then what he said to me was, I didn't
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: think you were going to go. And I was like,
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: what do you mean you didn't think I was going
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: to go? Because when he called me, I was already
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: at the venue. I was already there, And so when
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: I got back and we were having a conversation, he
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: was like, you did a boss move right there. I said,
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: what do you mean? He was like, I didn't go,
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: and I didn't think you were going to go without me.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: I said, well, well, I don't know what would possess
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: you to do that. I said, yeah, I was scared
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: to take that drive to Atlanta by myself. I said,
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: but I did it because I had a purpose. I said,
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: but it is what it is. And I said, you've
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: given me a blueprint in so many ways, I said,
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: and it's a problem when the student is no longer
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: the student. The student has now become the teacher of
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: what's held. I said, So that is where we're starting
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: to see. I said, the information you gave me, I've
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: utilized it. I said, But no information that I've given
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: to you have you ever utilized Until someone else besides
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: me said it. I said, I've given you advice, and
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: you told me no to the things that I said.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: But when someone else of the male persuasion said it,
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: it made more sense. I said, you talk about having
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: the vision and seeing the vision. Your vision for me
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: was not the same vision that I had for myself,
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: but I couldn't see it. But I believed in the
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: vision that you had for me. So I took the
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: advice and utilized it because that's what you gave me.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: So now that I've taken it and I've utilized it
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: to my ability to win with it, now it's a problem.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: So now I'm competition for you, and I'm no longer
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: looked at as you know, an equal that you know.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: And it's like you should be proud that your student
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: actually took what you gave them to utilize it and
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: build upon it, but not to just take it and say, Okay,
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: she's trying to outdo me. Baby, No, I'm not. I've
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: used what you gave me. You gave me the ingredients
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: to prepare a wonderful meal. You gave it to me.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: So now that I've created this meal, you mad that
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: I took what looked like scraps to you and made
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: something wonderful out of it. You can't be mad at
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: what you gave me because you gave me the foundation.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: Now it's only up to build upon it. But if
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: you don't want somebody that's gonna help you build upon it,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: don't give them the bricks to help build a foundation.
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: You know that far like I just I don't understand it.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: And it was just it was time, you know, for
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: me to let go, because he was speaking of me
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: in a manner that I never spoke of him. And
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: you know, even to this day we were not even
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: on speaking terms. But I don't want anything that is
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: not for him to miss him, you know, if it's
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: for him, continue to build, continue to grow, continue to
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: be who you are. But don't be mad at the
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: fact that I didn't stop because we're not connected anymore.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Because what you gave me was the blueprint, and I've
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: used it and I've used it in a way that
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: benefits me, and whatever I have, I want to share
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: it with somebody else so that they can build themselves.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: I don't care about you surpassing me. That's what you're
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: supposed to do, as you supposed to look for your
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: students to surpass you, to be better than you. That
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: is what the hope of that is. But if you
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: are always looking at somebody else as being in competition
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: with you, you stump your own self by doing it,
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: and you can't want to have everything all to yourself.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: You're all closed up. I don't want to share that
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: with you because I'm afraid that you're gonna be bigger
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: than me. Whatever God got for you, baby, it ain't
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: never gonna miss you. So onto something. What is that doing?
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: It ain't doing absolutely nothing. Give people what they need
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: from you, because God will give you more if you
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: really want to grow and be better. You know, these
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: relationships they get hard because people want to be in competition,
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: They want to fight with each other, They want to
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: do this, and they want to do that. But growth
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: in moving on and going forward in life means that
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: you have to let some things go and you gotta
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: do that hard work with yourself and say those boundaries
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: you know, for for what it is that you want
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: to see with somebody, no matter if it's a friend,
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: a platonic relationship, romantic relationship, no matter what it is,
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: make sure that you are surrounded by people who want
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: to see the best in you and not the worst
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: in you, because if they are only looking for the
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: worst in you, then baby, get them people away from you.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: They not inyore to build you. They in there to
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: tear you down. If ain't nobody, clap and clap for yourself,
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: you know, Clap for yourself, Keep showing up for yourself,
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: keep doing what you need to do. But in this
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: time and in the spaces I've told you many times before,
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: it's on you. Be by yourself until you can love
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: yourself and be with yourself and enjoy your own company.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Because kind of let me tell you something. When we
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: ain't had no power, we was without power for eleven days.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: My kids when they found out that Daddy had power,
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: they left me real quick. They were like peace y out.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: I was scared by myself, and you know what power,
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: no power in nothing. I was at peace because I
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: enjoyed me. I didn't care that it wasn't no power
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: in this house. I didn't care because God brought me through.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: He was the light that I needed. And I spent
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: more time with him, you know, so I got to
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: know me and him, and I probably got on his
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: names a couple of times. You know, I called a lie.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: I think yeah, I'm like, God, I know you don't
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: got tired of me. Don't put me on right now.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: We had a conversation to have. You know, like, I
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: got questions and you're the only one that's gonna give
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: me the answer. I know you want me to be
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: talking to myself, but you hear me anyway, you know
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: you hear me. So I don't know why you're trying
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: to act like you don't know who I am. You
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: know we were gonna we're gonna talk about this.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: But I'll be giving the Lord to run for his money.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: I know he'd be like, uh that now, tell her
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: her back tomorrow. No, God, I'm talking to you today
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: because we got stuff talking about. You know. He looked
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: down on the car and be like that that me.
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: Not today at.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: Till I call her tomorrow. Till I call her tomorrow.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing this today. But I'm just gonna put
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: him on the line, because God, I got to talk
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: to you. I don't care about you got other things
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: to do. You're trying to answer other prayers. Mine is
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: important right now because I don't I don't know what
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: you got going on, but we need to talk right now.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: So you gonna do whatever else. But during that time,
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: like my sister got mad at me. She was like,
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: why are you just instand at your best friend's house.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: You ain't got no power over there. I said, Cause, baby,
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: I'm at peace at home. I'm fine, I said. She
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: was like, you need to go. What's ting? No, But
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: I said, I'm not giving it to you because you're
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: not going to call her and tell her that I
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: need to come back over there, because I'm not going.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: I'm on my way home. I went over there, took
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: me a shower, got me nice and clean and warm,
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: and because I've been taking cold showers and they're not
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: the friendliest thing to do. But Hannah, I took that child,
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: came on home, got my food and everything. Chah. I
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: was just in here by myself. I enjoyed my own company.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: And so when you learn to be by yourself, you're
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: not looking for someone else to complete you, because you're
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: already whole. And see, I'm old now, you know, and
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: anybody else that comes in, I'm not broken. God has
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: done my mending, and he continues to do the mending
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: for me. And as long as I allowed God. That's
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: what I mean when I say those scars that I
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: once had, I no longer have anymore because those wounds
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: and those scars are gone, you know. So I'm not
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: carrying around extra baggage that I don't need no more,
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: you know. And when you learn to let those things go,
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: the weight is a whole lot lighter and you can
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: move a lot freer because you're not bound by what
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: happened to you. Those things happen to you, but they
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: didn't stop you from doing anything. And when you understand
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: that it was all connected to your purpose, your puzzle
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: is still being put together. Everything that you're going through
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: is necessary, and you gotta be okay with going through
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: the hard times because when you go through the hard times,
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: you get to know exactly who God has created you
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: to be. If you're gonna be intentional, you're gonna be
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: intentional in walking in that purpose in which God created
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: you to walk. Every path ain't gonna be perfect. It's
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: gonna be some tree lines, it's gonna be some things
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: that fall down, it's gonna be some detoys, it's gonna
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: be some things that are gonna be in there, and
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: it's gonna be hard, and you're gonna be asking God
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: like why you taking me through this? What did I do?
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: What harm did I cause somebody? And it may not
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: be questions I'll be asking. It's imp to me what
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: is really going on? Talk about something I haven't experienced,
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: And I don't talk about things I haven't asked God myself,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: and so I can only speak on what I've experienced
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: and being shameful. Like I was saying last night, most
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: of us don't want to talk about what doesn't look
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: good and what doesn't sound good. But you can't punish
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: me by talking about my past, because we all got one.
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: You can't embarrass me by telling something from somebody to
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: somebody else. What girl? You know she got kicked out
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: of her house and she lost her job and all, yeah, baby,
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: I did, But God through it. So what you're gonna
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: tell them? I made it over? I made it up.
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: That's what you can tell.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: You know, you wanted to see me down and out
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: and broken because it looked good. It was gossip, But baby,
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: you don't understand the testimony that was connected to it.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: So it's okay, But go ahead and tell your story.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: Go ahead and tell your teeth. It can be piping high,
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: but eventually it gets luke warm and it gets water down,
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: you know, But that's okay, it's all right. But if
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: it's it's piping hot tea for you to tell somebody else. Baby,
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: don't forget to tell the part about how God brought
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: me through. Hello, We're gonna tell it, tell how he
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: broke it. Like, don't don't miss out the party, now,
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: don't miss out the part.
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: I will say that I believe God places people in
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: your life, some for a season, m you know, some
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: for a lesson.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, sometimes we mix some people up with lifetime expectations
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: when they was only meant for a season.
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: Right, And you know I oftentimes, I oftentimes laugh when
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: I hear the phrase I'm here for a good time,
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: not a long time. There's so much truth in that, like, yeah,
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: you know, no matter if it's a friendship, a relationship
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: or what have you. You know, as long as you
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: in that moment and given what you need to give,
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: you know you're doing your part.
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: So when I left Spartanburgh.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: And decided to get in that little blue car and
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: hit the highway, I heard you, Oh lord, I heard
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: you say it don't matter if you're scared, just do
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: it exactly and so all I kept hearing was no
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: matter what it looked like, no matter how scared you are,
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: you can do it. The only person that can stop
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: you is you, and they go eighteen Willis. But that's
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: another story.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: I tell you all the time. You gotta get out
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: of your own way if you want to see the
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: best version of yourself. You know, you kept yourself confined
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: to a box for a long time, and the mover
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: had the boat taken off of it either no, and
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: I know, and I kept telling you it's time for
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: you to get out of the box. There's so much
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: more for you, and your answer would always be why,
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to do that. You gotta put
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: lift your leg up down on the other side and
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: get out the box. But you can't stay in a
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: space that you're out grown, like you got if you
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: want more. And you know that that little box you've
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: out grown, that's like trying to fit in the past
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: jeans that you had when you were twelve years old. Baby,
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: you don't fit no more. You gotta grow and get
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: into the size that you are now. And you kept
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: trying to stay in that space, and I'm like, Lord,
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: you gonna have to talk to because.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: Me and you know what, going through everything that I
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: went through, I finally did actually hear from the Lord,
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: and he been talking a whole lot since that, from
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: that moment to this moment, Like everything that you and
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: I have endured, whether it be the Mary Kay with
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: you or whatever, I've always felt like that was your thing.
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna support you because you
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: my girl. But that's you know, I'm waiting on God
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: to show me what my thing is. But without works
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: is dead. So I had to actually start doing something
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: that you know that I felt like I was good at,
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: you know, to be able to say, okay, well I'm
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: taking a step in the right direction. I mean, you know,
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: God had told me to leave my marriage. Well he
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: actually told me at the altar. He was like little dummy.
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: I had to hear him loud and clear. And after
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: that is when I stopped hearing from.
• 54:23
  Speaker 4: Him because.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: You stopped listening and I felt he was.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: I felt like I wasn't being heard because I wasn't
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: getting the answers that I wanted pleasing to me. And
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: so what I realized is when I when I took
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: the meat out of the situation, and you know, doing
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: what thus said the Lord, because I was not. I
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: was doing the total tea I see, and you know,
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: I just and it came from a place of the
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: abandonedment issues, you know, being adopted. Uh well, to go
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: back from being in a situation where I had to
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: be placed for adoption, being adopted and not necessarily getting
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: the treatments and things that I needed to save my life.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: Like me and Didie just discovered something last night that
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: I had been trying to figure out for the longest.
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: You know, that was my my my stomach like right, yeah,
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: I had a colonoscud be bad.
• 55:38
  Speaker 4: Either had wanted to that's what.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well, you know, like I said, those are those
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: scars that we don't know. Yeah, you know, and you
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: know this is one thing that I will say because
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: we're getting close to our time. But God answers our
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: prayers most of the time, but we often reject the
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: answers to the prayers because they don't look like what
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: we needed them to look like. And we got to
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: stop rejecting the answers because they don't look like what
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: we expect them to look like. You know, we want
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: everything to be packaged pretty and God answered this prayer
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: like you'll pray and ask God for patience and he
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: sends you a situation where you gotta have it. You
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: ask God for grace, and you ask him for wisdom,
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: you ask him for strength, and he puts you in
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: situations that you gotta exceed those things that you're asking for.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: And it's like, God, that ain't what I pray, and
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: that is exactly what you ask for. How do you
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: develop a skill if you don't put it into practice.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: You got to pull of use and that's the thing
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: that you be at God. I need strength, Okay, Well,
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: how you gain the strength? You gotta be tested to
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: gain the strength. If you want knowledge of something, what
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: you gotta do research it to gain the knowledge. You've
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: got to do these things.
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: And so.
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: It's hard work and understanding that God is blessing you
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: in the midst of whatever the mess looks like, willing
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: to see it for what it is. Because you're gonna
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: go through something. It's gonna be hard, it's gonna be
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: like God, look here, I don't think I'm built for this,
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: my show. I'm afraid. Look here, I'm already low to
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: the ground, and you want me to climb to the
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: highest mountain. I'm afraid of heights, sir, but you keep
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: putting me in situations where I gotta elevate and climb
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: on these things to get there. Who you think I am?
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: And it's always you, my child. And I didn't put
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: you in a position that I won't get you too.
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: So just keep talking, keep doing what I tell you
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: to do, and it's all right. And I be so
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: uncomfortable and I and he been like, that's fine you are.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: You ain't hurt nothing, you know, Oh I'm not. I'm
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: not a right like you telling me this. But it's
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: like that look him, you say, I'm all right. But
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: God blesses us and everything that we're going through, and
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: we have to acknowledge Him in the space of him
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: being God all by himself. He don't need nothing from
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: us but to be obedient to him. And when we're
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: obedient to him, it's hard. But when we're Lord completely,
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: he gets us where he's been trying to take us
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: all along. Our destiny is our destiny. It ain't gonna
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: miss us no time unless we decide that we want
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: to be our own GPS and go my own way.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: And God be like re routing. That's the way that's
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: supposed to be, because you don't got off course. But
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: I have no free will. I don't smack you on
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: the back of the head and not here looking like
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: what I do that for? You know why? Right?
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: And what I do know about the Lord, as much
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: as he loves you, he will allow some things to
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: take place to get.
• 59:12
  Speaker 4: Your attention because.
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: And I tell you, I'm standing the alto and he
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: done call me all kinds of big dummies and I'm
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: like whatever.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: And.
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: When I still you know, stuff that took me through
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: some valleys, so we know this stuff.
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: I heard you ready to go. You're ready to go yet?
• 59:38
  Speaker 4: Have you figured it out? This is about me?
• 59:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I know in your sciences. That was my warning,
• 59:47
  Speaker 5: girl out and I was like to get out. Click click,
• 59:51
  Speaker 5: quick quick click when I said you. When I got
• 59:52
  Speaker 5: out a month later, I was no longer clicking.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: And I will tell you my thing is, I'm one
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: of the people that once I'm in something, I like
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: to see it to the end.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 4: And I don't know where that comes.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 7: From, ille qui hone, And I'm so good at it
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 7: now that it's just hon I walk away.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Men conversation and something why yeah, exactly because I'm not
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: finna do that with you know, walk away in a
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: hearty girl.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 5: Well, I was so busy trying to be the careacteriver
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 5: that I was not taking care of myself and said
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 5: you need to take care of you, and I was like,
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 5: but I'm a white take I'm taking care of taking
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 5: care of.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 4: That's when I found out something broke, like.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: Later, Yeah, we be hard here to trying to say
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: the world and God say save yourself.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 4: You're not superwoman, basically turning in.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: Only advice I got to you, guys, is going through
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: this this new journey that you're on for as life
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: without without being a wife, is to do the do
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: the work of finding you, finding what makes you happy.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: You're not in a season of loneliness. You're in a
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: season of isolation, and it's time for you to focus
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: on what God has for you in this season and
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: being by yourself is not the end of the world.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: And don't invite people in your space that don't belong
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: there just because you're lonely in this season. Knowing what
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: isolation looks like and loneliness looks like and feels like
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: are two different things. And when you understand the difference
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: between the two. You won't accept anything other than that.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: So you gotta be willing to actually sit and be
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: still to hear God say, okay, now it's time because
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: you want to rush and be like, well, they made
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: me feel good. They saying all the right things. Don't
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: nobody care. Don't nobody care if they father? Yeah, but
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: he gotta be the right one for me. God say,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: I ain't send that man over there. You went and
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: picked that man because he said all the right things.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: He was saying, oh, baby, you look good today. What
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: that dress like that?
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you mean all in of that, you know. And
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: God ain't saying nothing about none of that stuff. God, No,
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: God can't say that. You just gotta have me because
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: you like, oh, somebody finally looking at me. Maybe I'm
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: off the clearance rag. Baby, Gone get back on that
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: clearance rack. It ain't your time to go nowhere, you know,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: gone get back on there. You won't lay away right now.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: Stop stop. Yeah, you're doing too much. But sit in
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: this in this season and understand that isolation and loneliness
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: are two different things. And if God ain't called you
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: to be with somebody that understands that you are still
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: in your healing process because you gonna end up bleeding
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: on somebody that did not cut you. And you're not
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: going to be willing to actually have those hard conversations
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: because you're steady looking for somebody to accept you in
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: your brokenness. And yes, there are people who will accept
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: you in your brokenness, but if you can't accept you
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: and your brokenness, how can they because you gotta accept
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: you in your brokenness, because you can't expect them to
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: heal you if you're not even willing and heal yourself.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: But I love y'all, I got to go get my
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: child from work because calling me. But call me on
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: the phone and we can continue the conversation.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 4: Can you can you close us out then, ma'am.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: I surely can listen, y'all. Let me go ahead and
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: tell you this. Don't be over their mind in God's business, okay,
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: because God don't need nothing from you, but you to
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: be obedient to what he's called you to do. If
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: he ain't called you to it, it ain't your business.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: If he's calling you to do it, know that it's
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: your assignment. But also know when assignments begin and the
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: assignments end. I love y'all and until next time, you
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: will never be denied of what God has for you.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 2: Love you, good name you now y'all can call it.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 4: Go get your baby. Thank you,