Latest / The Kelly Jedele Show / Talent, Grit, and Growing Up Together
Transcript
- Kelly intro: Hey, I'm Kelly Jedele and this is the Kelly Jedele Show. the lie we've been sold that you have to pick: the career or the kid, the big vision or the bedtime story. ⁓ calling it. That's not the deal. You can have both. I have built businesses for the last 16 years as a single mom. And you can do it without hustling yourself into the ground, but by choosing strategically every single day. Kelly: That's it for this week. If something in this episode hit, do me a favor. Send it to one woman in your life who needs to hear it. That's how this community grows, one honest conversation at a time. Follow the show, leave a review, and come find me on Instagram. I read everything. Remember, strong doesn't mean solo. I'll see you next week. Kelly Jedele: Today's guest is someone I've known literally her whole entire life. And one of my favorite humans on the planet, my daughter, Carly Vinciguera. Carly is a musical theater performer and graduate of Montclair State University with a BFA in musical theater. She has brought incredible characters to life on stage, including Wednesday Adams in the Addams Family, Mary Delgado in Jersey Boys, and Zanita Shin in The Music Man. Most recently, she made her New York City debut as both a puppeteer in Fraggle in Fraggle Rock. Kelly intro: This show is for the woman who wants the business, the brand, the freedom, and the family. All of it. So grab your coffee, your kids' juice box, whatever you got in your hand. Let's get into it. Kelly Jedele: Adding an exciting new chapter to her growing career. Along the way, she's also served as dance captain for new works and continues to evolve as a performer, artist, and storyteller. But beyond all of her accomplishments, she's simply my daughter. I've had the privilege of watching her grow from a little girl with big dreams into an incredibly talented, ⁓ resilient, kind young woman. I'm so excited for you to get to know her the way I do. Welcome to the show, Carl. Hi baby girl. ⁓ my gosh, how exciting to see you here. I I I definitely kept that together. That was that was me performing me. my goodness gracious. It's so great to have you here on this show, the Kelly Yataly show. Carli Vinciguerra: Hi mama! ⁓ Good thing you kept it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great composure. I'm so happy to be here. Big fan. Long time fan. First time guest. Kelly Jedele: Carly Manzagera, big fan. ⁓ I'm a big fan of yours, longtime fan of yours. Yes. Okay. Well good. Okay, so I have a little question for you. You've played some incredible roles from Wednesday Adam to Mary Delgado, but I want to go all the way back. Do you remember the moment when performing stopped being something you enjoyed and started feeling like, ⁓ this might actually be who I am? And what was going on in our lives at that time? Carli Vinciguerra: Yes. Yeah, I mean, this is a common question for any performer. And I always say from the the get-go, Puck, A Midsummer Night's Dream. I just had so much joy in that show and it it was so much fun. That was my first ever real professional show experience at the Zack Theater in downtown Austin. But if I'm really Kelly Jedele: Yeah, me too. Yeah. That show is so you. Carli Vinciguerra: really thinking about it though, it would probably be my first musical because that joined together dance and performing all in one. And that was when I got to be Baby June in Southwestern University's production of Gypsy. Now literally it was because I did Puck at Zach the summer between fourth and fifth grade. And then I did Gypsy at Southwestern with the director from Midsummer at Southwestern. Kelly Jedele: Which was like the next year, right? Yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: And what was going on on in our lives was ⁓ damn near everything. That was a very chaotic That was a very spicy time for the Yaedaleras. The Yadaleras, Vinciguera Yadaly, Yadalera, that's us. The Yadaleras, that was a very rocky time, and I think that that really solidified my love of theater though, because that was such an outlet for me. And I had so much joy in those rehearsals and on that stage and with that cast. Kelly Jedele: Yeah, that that was a spicy time. That was a spicy time. Yeah. Yes. Yes, that's the Aedolaris. It was. Carli Vinciguerra: And regardless of everything that was going on in our lives, which was my dad had just moved out of our my childhood home, ⁓ out of the neighborhood. He lived like forty-five minutes to an hour away then with his new wife, my stepmom, who we love. But it was a transition. Yeah, it was a change. And you had just we had just moved in with ⁓ a previous partner of yours and Kelly Jedele: Neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah. We love her and it was a it was a change, yeah, for all of us. Yeah, we we had to get it adjusted. Right, fiance at the time. Carli Vinciguerra: Yeah, at the time and you had you were transitioning the business into a new office space. Like there was a lot going on and this show was happening also like an hour away. Kelly Jedele: ⁓ that was happening all at that time. ⁓ yes. Yeehaw. Right then. And we had cookie. Carli Vinciguerra: And we did we had a little dog and mom is like doing crazy hours at work and then immediately after school we're driving like an hour north of Austin straight to rehearsals and I was just having a grand old time making your life so much more difficult than that season but I just loved it. And you were. I was never a burd I never felt like a burden. Kelly Jedele: Straight to Georgetown. But I was along for the ride. I was so you weren't. I mean, you were living your passion and I get to I get to be co pilot. I mean it was it was everything for me. Like Carli Vinciguerra: Ha ha Yeah, I I think that's the moment it clicked too. Like I was just I was just so happy and I I felt so supported in that too, in that joy, which was huge for me. Kelly Jedele: Yeah. And and we still have friends from that show. We I mean that in that time frame, I mean they're those people are still still along for the ride. It's wild. 'Cause it was like a pivotal moment in in our lives. Yeah, I remember that. Carli Vinciguerra: We do we do. They are Yeah. ⁓ yeah, an actor from that show has gone on to do some really I mean, a lot of them are still in theater, but one of the actors, one of the guys that played my newsboy, has gone on to do some like blockbuster films and stuff. So that's yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and we still keep in contact. So yeah. I'd I'd probably say that show, Baby June. I to pla I need to circle back and play Dainty June for any musical theater fans out there. That's like the grown up version of Baby June. So if anyone is casting a regional production Kelly Jedele: Yeah. That's right. I remember you telling me that. That's wild and crazy. Yes, yes, yes. Let's throw that in. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You were the cutest baby June. You so committed to the bit. It was so fun. So, so fun watching you do that. That was so fun. And I brag on you all the time. I'm like, my kid thought started theater learning Shakespeare at nine years old. I mean, who does that? You do. Swinging in. Carli Vinciguerra: ⁓ It was fun to do. ⁓ It was so funny too because when I got cast in that show I didn't know who Puck was. And if you don't know a Midsummer Night's Dream, I don't blame you. ⁓ i Puck is kind of w the one of the leads, if not the lead of the show. They kind of starts and ends the show and is kind of w one of the only characters that exist in all of the worlds. Sprite fairy time and first day rehearsals, I was like, I say a lot of words. Kelly Jedele: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it starts and ends the show. A spirity sprite? Yeah. Say a lot of words and you memorize them all. It's wild to me. ⁓ that's fantastic. Okay. So Carli Vinciguerra: Ha ha. Ha ha Kelly Jedele: Another, another people see the lead roles, the applause, the graduation photos, but they don't always see the auditions that work that don't work out. The understudy roles, the rejections, and the moments you question yourself. Was there a specific moment during college or a production when you thought, I don't know if I can do this? And what helped you keep going? Carli Vinciguerra: Now this is an interesting question for me personally because the connection I have to what I do, the connection I have to theater feels like an innate part of my person. It feels like a part of my being. Yeah, so it's I've had challenging seasons, but I've never, at least yet, knock on wood, had, to my recollection, a moment of like screw it all. Kelly Jedele: Yeah. You were born this way. Carli Vinciguerra: I've had challenging seasons, but I've never, ⁓ at least yet, knock on wood, had, to my recollection, a moment of like screw it all. and throwing in the towel. But a moment I a moment that no, I've had hard moments. I dealt with my first ever episode of and throwing in the towel. But a moment I a moment that yeah, no, I've had hard moments. I had a I had a like mo ⁓ most recently I had a hard moment in my the fall semester of my junior year of college. I dealt with my first ever episode of depression. I am generally an anxious person but not a depressed person. I am very up and at it a little too much, hence the anxiety. But depression is not usually in my wheelhouse. Kelly Jedele: You haven't never not once have you done that. You haven't never not once have you done that. Yeah. It hasn't been no. Carli Vinciguerra: I had gotten I got sick that like October November, which is also not normal for me. I was blessed with a very nice immune system. ⁓ but yeah. Thank you. But I got sick and it kind of s like affected my mental health as well and I kind of spiraled into a mini like depressive episode I know now. In the moment I didn't know what was going on. I was just sleeping all day and not wanting to do anything. And that was a really hard time for me ⁓ to navigate that. Kelly Jedele: Right, right. That lasting a few weeks. Carli Vinciguerra: It it was like a month or so. And I am just so grateful and lucky to have amazing parents and an amazing support system. ⁓ my dad flew up to visit me that first week of December. He dropped everything and was like, I'm coming to see you. I'll I'll be there. And I remember you were there for Thanksgiving as well, which was a lifesaver and we went to go the Macy's Day Parade. And I think Kelly Jedele: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I'll be there. Yeah. as gumdrops. In the rain. That was the most fun, horrible time ever. It was and I mean and we were so happy with our ponches. We did. We were making friends. Carli Vinciguerra: Yeah, as little gum it was raining. It was it was raining that I It was like soggy and rainy and cold and we were like in these little ponchos happy And we looked like little gumdrops and we were having the time of our lives everyone else miserable We're like ⁓ yeah Yeah There's this French lady next to us We're chatting it up Kelly Jedele: And then we went like on a like a just a little tour of food in New York for coffee and brunch and yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: A little walk. ⁓ my gosh, we had the best time. And I think that that's just what I need when I'm in those moments is connection with my support system. Because as soon as I'm able to get out of the fog, I'm able to tap back into that joy and love for theater. And I always just sometimes I just get I get separated from that. But I can always find my way back. And that's fine my people help me find my way back. Kelly Jedele: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: 'Cause 'cause I don't think I've ever had a moment of complete No more of this, but I have had moments of separation from my goal and from my dreams. ⁓ but my I rely on my community ⁓ heavily. Kelly Jedele: Yeah, I can see that that you've reached out different times when stuff go is going on and always warms my heart. Like I'm like, ⁓ she likes me. She she still needs me a little bit. Yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: She likes me. I can be helpful. I will always need my mama. Are you kidding? That's never going away. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Kelly Jedele: No. Okay, so you grew up watching me build a business while raising you as a single mom. And there were probably days when I was answering client calls, dealing with employees, and trying to make it to your performances all at the same time. Looking back now as an adult, what was it actually like growing up in that environment? And what do you think it taught you, both the good and the challenging parts? Carli Vinciguerra: I distinctly remember sitting on your bed at one of our first like houses that we lived a long time in where the business started and learning that Annie was on Broadway. And what do you mean I can't be in it? And what do you mean? What do you mean we're in Austin, Texas, and we can't just drop everything and fly to New York and get me an agent and I can be an Annie on Broadway? That's rude. What do you mean I can't do that? I remember that being like a Challenging thing to grasp. I r that show was on Broadway like 2012 to 2014. Mm-hmm. I had people, yeah, their parents would fly them up. Or they had if their parents were together, like the mom and the kid would fly up there. Yeah. Or they had ⁓ do auditions and like could get them agents and whatnot and fly up for auditions for agents, fly up for auditions for Broadway shows. And I remember you telling me, like, that's just not something we can do for you right now, baby girl. Like we just can't that's not feasible. Yeah. Kelly Jedele: 'Cause you had people in your life that were doing that. Like their parents would Yeah. The mom would go do auditions in New York and yeah. Mhm. Canceling that. Carli Vinciguerra: And that felt really unfair in the moment. And there's nothing we could have done about that. I just had to sit and wait my my turn. And that was a that was p definitely like a challenging part, but I think through that challenge I escaped being a ⁓ child actor, ⁓ in a large scale. So maybe maybe that a beautiful thing. And it taught me patience, for sure. But I also gained a lot of you know, I was in that time I was able to, you know Kelly Jedele: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: hone my skills so that by the time I did enter an industry I was prepped and ready to go. and I also think looking back now, I see how valued I was. At the time it's easy to be like, ⁓ like mom's running late to my show or which he never did. That's a bad example. ⁓ you know, like to pick me up from rehearsal, mayhaps. Kelly Jedele: To pick you up from rehearsal or monthly. Yeah, or from yeah. Something yeah. I picked you up when I was on the phone, yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: Or you something where she's on the phone right now or ⁓ I wanna tell her about yeah, I wanna tell you about how rehearsal went and you're on the phone and in those moments it can feel like I'm, you know, second rate or like I'm not valued, but looking back now it's through all of that, you always made time. Through all of the d businesses and th in the in the employees are calling you and this person's out sick today and this client wants to reschedule and ⁓ the and you're driving me to school and the and yet you still like it ⁓ it always got done. I was always at the theater camp. I was always I my summer schedule was booked to a T. I always had things going on on a spreadsheet and like we made it happen. And now it's like the inverse. It's like I can see how much I truly was valued by your effort to be present for me in my life all the time throughout it all. Even though if it didn't feel that way in the moment. Kelly Jedele: On a spreadsheet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well and and if I may, I I n I see the the business parts of what you I don't know if you this is probably what what was caught and not necessarily taught, but I mean like you you know the value of networking and you know the value of data source and like keeping track of your contacts and who's in the room and you know how much like to sp it's okay to spend some money because you're using it for strategy points moving forward and you know the return on investment, like Carli Vinciguerra: Mm-hmm. Kelly Jedele: Those things were those things you I see you doing that in your life right now with your career and with what you're doing and it's it's it's powerful. Like I don't know if you learn those things in school, if you learn them just by osmosis from me or maybe a combination. But I see you doing that. I'm so impressed. Carli Vinciguerra: ⁓ yeah, hundred percent. I think one of another like consequence of that is the is the value of a dollar and being smart with with money. We had we we we were locked in to to penny pension. Let me tell you. In the day in the day Yeah, we would go through seasons where maybe the business is in a growth period and we're having to scale back things in our personal lives. My Kelly Jedele: We pinched a little penny or two. Carli Vinciguerra: mom always made sure that if there was any fall it fell on her and never on the employees. So sometimes that meant mom's cutting her own paycheck. And therefore that means okay, we had we had a system. She's like, okay, just so you know, we're going she's sold her car and we're gonna get this little car now, have a little extra cash in the bank and we're gonna move to this apartment that's a little bit cheaper now and we're gonna get groceries from this store over here because they're a little bit cheaper. And just so you know, like we're not gonna get anything special at this store. Like and we knew and I understood. Kelly Jedele: Right. Carli Vinciguerra: And guess what? Now I'm be post grad, ⁓ where I have two nickels and a dream. I really appreciate those practices that I was taught unintentionally growing up. I feel like I I appreciate having luxury and living comfortably, but I am able to and I have those skills to budget and, you know, reel myself in and and be Kelly Jedele: Yeah. Yeah. And you've helped some of your friends with budgets. You've chatted some of your friends with with some of the challenges that they had with finances. Carli Vinciguerra: Scrupulous. Yeah. Yeah, I realized a lot of my friends never talked about money with their parents. Never. Like it never came up. And I was like, Both of my parents, you and my dad, sat me down and showed me your money and told me how it worked and said, I did this, don't do this or I did this, do this. And I was dumbfounded that a lot of my friends didn't have that experience. Kelly Jedele: Didn't know about discretionary spending, budgeting. Yeah. Accounts, different accounts. Yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: Nothing. Opening a credit card, how like mutual funds, nothing. You know, and I have loved sharing that knowledge 'cause I I'm like, money might be taboo in certain settings, but with your ch with your children, once you have to share how else are they gonna know? 'Cause heads up, we're not taught that in school. No, we're not. Surprise, surprise. Ain't nobody teaching those things. So Kelly Jedele: You gotta share that stuff, yeah. No. Surprise, surprise. So what's something you learned from watching me that I probably never really sat down and intentionally taught you? Sounds like money for sure. It could be about that was that was intentional. That was very intentional. It could be work, relationship, ta risk, ⁓ taking risks, recovering from setbacks, or even something you swore you'd never do, and now catch yourself doing. Carli Vinciguerra: Well money you did intentionally. You did you were you were very intentional with money. I think something recently that I've really like shown love for in in in your life that I want to inherit more in mine is the value of having other outlets in your life. I think that that's something that you have personally learned recently, and I've been watching you learn that and the effect it's had on your mental health and physical health and well being. We were so connected at the hip my whole life. you know, I'm s single mom only child and you know, we we're we're besties. And so when I went to college when I went to college you were like, and maybe I need a hobby or five Kelly Jedele: Yeah. You're my Yeah, everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I I I started that when you were in high school because I was like, ⁓ shit. Here it comes. She's leaving and I'm going to be a basket case and this is not okay. I could see the f the the shadow on the wall. I was like, holy crap, I am I'm in for it. And so I got a therapist and I got hobbies. I started dancing, yeah, working out. Friends. I was crocheting for a second. I got a new dog, two dogs. Carli Vinciguerra: Yeah. ⁓ no, ⁓ no, ⁓ no OOOO Yeah. We we've had little other things we like crochet, we're doing random tasks, we're walking, got a dog, we Yeah, so I and seeing that and the like joy and peace that that's brought you has shown me, ⁓ maybe I need a few other outlets as well. And also the way that you intentionally connect with your friends. I really enjoy that. I think my generation doesn't value that as much. We don't talk on the phone. I never just check in with someone for the sake of checking in with someone. You are very intentional. I would be in the phone in in the phone, in the car when someone would call you on the phone just to say hey. And I was always be so like jealous, honestly. I want that connection with my friends. I think that that's something I've been trying to bring more into my life is intentional relation. Especially, you know, now that I am out of school and I'm not really having those forced connections anymore. Kelly Jedele: Right. Yeah, you don't run into your friends in the hallway. Yeah, you're not passing them on the street. Yeah, you gotta be intentional. Yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: No You gotta be you have to be intentional about relationships as an adult and I've I've really seen you be intentional with your relationships and that was a that was a that's a great example that you did. You're well g ⁓ you're well Kelly Jedele: Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate that. Hmm. As a mom, there's this strange experience where you spend years helping someone become themselves, and then one day you realize they're building a life that's completely their own. You're now a ch a college graduate, a professional performer, and creating your own path. What parts of your story feel uniquely yours, separate from me, and what kind of woman do you hope to become in this next chapter? Carli Vinciguerra: Mm. I mean my performance career feels entirely my own. And I remember one day you had shared with me, When you get your Tony, that is your award, and that has nothing to do with me. I remember I don't remember the context in which we were talking about that, but I remember you said something like that. Cause I remember we were talking something about how the inverse had happened with one of your friends or something and Someone was like, it was some someone's kid had done something bad and they felt guilty as a parent or something, and you used the inverse as an example. You were like, well, that doesn't necessarily reflect badly on you as a parent because you're they're an adult and d their own person now, and you were like, When you win your Tony, for example, that's not my Tony. And I better be a ⁓ t ⁓ Okay. Kelly Jedele: Yeah, yeah. And I better be in the speech. I mean it's a thought, it's a suggestion. It's a suggestion. Carli Vinciguerra: J it's a suggestion, you know, after I think, you know, ⁓ the at the academy and the what are you Yeah, yeah. ⁓ of course, of course. So that feels I always have felt supported in that and obviously without someone to drive me to dance class and voice lessons and rehearsals and shows and buying me shoes and leotards and tights, I would not be here as a performer. But the career Kelly Jedele: Right, right, right, right, right. Just slip mom in there. Carli Vinciguerra: I have built and I'm very proud of that. And I hope to become just a I don't know. What kind of woman do I want to be in this next chapter? I'm really I'm really loving this new rhythm of life that I'm finding these days. Post grad is a very interesting ride, but it's very similar to what I was doing in college. I'm was very grateful that my the stakes are different. Yeah, my program prepared me very well for the real world and I feel very capable and Kelly Jedele: The stakes are just different. Carli Vinciguerra: it's not super new and shocking to my system. But exactly, yeah. Exactly. Just the stakes, yeah. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I have a really nice, you know, like survival job I can always go back to. So it's not like if I don't book there's not food on the table. So that's that those stakes are are there but not. Kelly Jedele: Yeah. You just seem like you're continuing on. Like it not a lot has changed. It just just the stakes and and you can show up to an audition if you don't or want to or not. Like it's there's not yeah, the consequences are different. Right. Carli Vinciguerra: it's really just my fulfillment as a human is not there if I'm not doing theater. And I have I have noticed that and I know that about myself. So it's it's keeping in tune with maybe I need to go to a dance class to live and not necessarily to learn and network and connect. Maybe I just need to go to a voice lesson to sing and not to, you know, hit that high C just to express myself because that's kind of the balance that I'm finding in my career these days is It's hard when what I do is also what fulfills me as a person. It's beautiful and amazing and lovely, but it's a double edged sword of when I'm not doing it, not only am I not working, I'm not, you know, doing a job, I'm, you know, I'm also sad. I'm also sad and not fulfilled and I'm not like I I I don't have I feel like I don't have a purpose when I'm not doing that. And so I want to I wanna get to a state Kelly Jedele: Right. Yeah. You're not fulfilled. Yeah. Carli Vinciguerra: in I think this next wrapping into the what kind of woman I want to be in this next chapter of life is is content in all aspects of my life. I want to feel content rounded grounded rounded on all the things. I love the way I feel when I'm on stage and nothing will ever be able to completely compare to that. That's not the goal. But the goal is to feel more at ease in my personal day to day life that's not on stage. Kelly Jedele: Yeah. Rounded, yeah. Grounded, rounded, yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ that's great. Well thank you. My sweet girl for coming and joining me on this podcast. It's been so fun having you here, especially to be my first guest. May you return many, many times and may the world get to know you. Carlita, Vinci Guerra. ⁓ you have a beautiful rest of your day. ⁓ here is Fraggle Rock. Go see it if you're in New York City or going to visit. ⁓ be there later on this month. And then ⁓ continue being the badass woman that you are. Carli Vinciguerra: Honored. ⁓ yes. Mm Kelly Jedele: I'm so proud to be your mama. I miss you tons. All right. Thank you for everyone for joining us this week. We will see you next week. Have a great day. Carli Vinciguerra: Ugh. Likewise ⁓ I miss you. I'm so excited to see you later.