Latest / Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald / Heather Shaw From Jim Carrey Doppelgänger to Comedy Queen
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: Look, I don't want to go in there, but there
- 0:04Speaker 1: are a lot of people who want to go to
- 0:06Speaker 1: Rathdail and that cost is going to go up. Three years,
- 0:10Speaker 1: you'll have to go to SEAI. Now, I know what's
- 0:14Speaker 1: going to happen. Don't you think that's too much for me? Well,
- 0:18Speaker 1: what else do I have to do? You'll have to
- 0:20Speaker 1: pay a fine. That way, you'll be able to pay
- 0:23Speaker 1: the cost of living for a few more years. And now,
- 0:27Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to
- 0:30Speaker 1: do that on the radio. Because that's the new SEAI
- 0:33Speaker 1: Easy Wins. Will Shiv Ragh. SEAI Easy Wins. The best
- 0:38Speaker 1: in the world.
- 0:41Speaker 2: Heather MacDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
- 0:47Speaker 3: When you're on the road, when you're on the go,
- 0:50Speaker 3: Juicy Scoop is the show to know.
- 0:52Speaker 2: She talks Hollywood tales for real life, Mr. Sacred Serial
- 0:56Speaker 2: Data and Serial Sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast
- 1:01Speaker 2: to the number one tabloid real life podcast.
- 1:04Speaker 3: Listen in, listen up.
- 1:06Speaker 1: Woo, woo.
- 1:07Speaker 3: Heather MacDonald. Juicy Scoop.
- 1:10Speaker 4: Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. I'm so excited because
- 1:15Speaker 4: I have a funny lady, a hilarious comedian, a fellow Heather.
- 1:20Speaker 4: It's Heather Shaw and welcome to Juicy Scoop for the
- 1:24Speaker 4: first time.
- 1:25Speaker 3: Hello, Heathers. I never meet a Heather. This is nice.
- 1:28Speaker 3: You don't? I don't ever meet Heathers. Where are they?
- 1:31Speaker 3: You are a little bit.
- 1:32Speaker 4: Okay, I always joke that our name is going to
- 1:35Speaker 4: become like Gertrude.
- 1:36Speaker 3: It is. But you're younger than I am. Do you
- 1:39Speaker 3: mind if I ask your age? I'm 58. No, I'm 38.
- 1:43Speaker 3: So you're a little bit of like.
- 1:46Speaker 4: Because I feel like the majority of Heathers are like.
- 1:49Speaker 3: Where are they? Trailer parks? No, they're like my age. Okay.
- 1:54Speaker 3: It's like the 70s, 80s. Yeah. A little bit. Yeah,
- 1:58Speaker 3: the 80s baby. And I have been trying to encourage.
- 2:02Speaker 4: young women to name their children Heather and bring it back.
- 2:06Speaker 3: Make it hot. Make Heather's hot for generations to come.
- 2:10Speaker 3: I don't think it's happening. I think I saw on
- 2:12Speaker 3: TikTok somebody said Heather's an old name. I was like, fair.
- 2:15Speaker 3: I was like, I never meet Heather's. I love it.
- 2:18Speaker 3: You're like the second Heather ever. Well, thank you. You
- 2:21Speaker 3: and Locklear. And what's your middle name? Aletha. Good luck.
- 2:24Speaker 1: I don't know.
- 2:25Speaker 3: My mom was on drugs, I think. I don't know.
- 2:26Speaker 3: That's an interesting middle name. Aletha? Everyone thought it was
- 2:30Speaker 3: Alicia and I had a lisp. And I'm like, no,
- 2:31Speaker 3: it's Aletha. I think it's English or white. Like Abiza? Yeah, exactly.
- 2:35Speaker 3: Or Bartholona?
- 2:37Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 2:39Speaker 3: That's what my middle name is. It's like Bartholona. I'm
- 2:41Speaker 3: like Hilaria Baldwin. Yeah. Where do you hail from? Well,
- 2:45Speaker 3: I'm from upstate New York. Okay. I've lived all over.
- 2:49Speaker 3: And now I'm in Louisville, Kentucky. Get me out. I'm
- 2:52Speaker 3: trying to convince my wife to move to California. And
- 2:55Speaker 3: so you are a lesbian? Yeah, fully. I'm out, baby.
- 2:59Speaker 3: Are you a gold star late in life? No. What
- 3:01Speaker 3: are you? No, I always knew I was gay, but
- 3:04Speaker 3: I would bang guys. Okay, good for you. You know,
- 3:06Speaker 3: I like the unit. All right. Don't like what's attached
- 3:08Speaker 3: to it. All right. But it's a good, you know,
- 3:11Speaker 3: I'm a penis friend. And when did you realize, like,
- 3:15Speaker 3: I think.
- 3:16Speaker 4: I want to go full gay and just be with
- 3:19Speaker 4: a woman and have a happy life.
- 3:21Speaker 3: Well, I always knew. I knew that was going to
- 3:22Speaker 3: play out. Like in first grade, I was like, oh,
- 3:25Speaker 3: I'm a lesbian. Did you tell anyone? I didn't have to.
- 3:29Speaker 3: My siblings are gay, too. So we're very gay. How
- 3:32Speaker 3: many kids are there? My parents are so disappointed. Yeah.
- 3:35Speaker 3: We're all gay. Three. Older sister, younger brother, me in
- 3:38Speaker 3: the middle.
- 3:39Speaker 5: Gay.
- 3:39Speaker 3: Singing show tunes. And are the parents straight? The parents
- 3:42Speaker 3: are straight.
- 3:43Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 3:43Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure. Are you sure? They made kids.
- 3:45Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 3:46Speaker 3: They're committed to the straight life. They're breeders.
- 3:51Speaker 4: Okay, so when did you realize that you were funny
- 3:55Speaker 4: or that you wanted to make this a career? Because
- 3:57Speaker 4: you're a great stand-up comic. You have your first stand-up
- 4:00Speaker 4: special debuting.
- 4:02Speaker 3: May 15th, you said? May 14th, yeah, on YouTube. It
- 4:06Speaker 3: was going to be MySpace, but. Here we go. We're
- 4:08Speaker 3: on YouTube instead. You have a huge tour. Yeah.
- 4:12Speaker 4: I discovered you and started following you back when I
- 4:16Speaker 4: saw you on, you know, doing reels and TikToks.
- 4:18Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 4:19Speaker 3: And one of the things is, though you are a female,
- 4:22Speaker 3: you do look very, very much like Jim Carrey. Isn't
- 4:27Speaker 3: that weird? It's the mouth, right? It's the nose too. Really,
- 4:31Speaker 3: I got the nose? It's the brown eyes.
- 4:32Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 4:32Speaker 4: You absolutely could be his daughter, brother, sister.
- 4:36Speaker 3: Some people say grandma. It's crazy. I got to moisturize.
- 4:39Speaker 3: I got to start moisturizing and doing Jergens. She's so tan.
- 4:43Speaker 3: I'm like, how did she get tan? Jergens self-tanner, everybody. Jergens,
- 4:45Speaker 3: it's a secret. Oh, wait, speaking of which, you know,
- 4:46Speaker 3: we reached out to them. I had someone reach out. And?
- 4:48Speaker 4: Because I said, I really have been pushing the Jergens
- 4:50Speaker 4: self-tanner for like years.
- 4:52Speaker 3: Sponsor me.
- 4:53Speaker 4: And they wrote back and they said, in all transparency,
- 4:55Speaker 4: we are only looking at younger people.
- 4:57Speaker 3: Oh. A few Jergens. And I'm like, I cannot tell
- 5:00Speaker 3: you how many people say, how do you look that tan?
- 5:03Speaker 3: And I go, Jergen self-tanner, but- You got to start lying.
- 5:05Speaker 3: Tell people it's Nair. But only buy it if you're
- 5:08Speaker 3: under 35. No, you got to start lying now. No,
- 5:09Speaker 3: you can't. Well, who cares? Yeah. Jergens. At least throw
- 5:12Speaker 3: me a few free bottles. Nair would never. I don't
- 5:14Speaker 3: really care. Yeah.
- 5:15Speaker 5: What the hell?
- 5:15Speaker 3: There's another self-tanner, people. Come on. Come on. Let me
- 5:18Speaker 3: know about you.
- 5:18Speaker 2: Come on.
- 5:19Speaker 3: She's tan. It looks great. I'm done with this loyalty.
- 5:20Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 5:21Speaker 3: I think I get tanned. Okay. So tell me a
- 5:24Speaker 3: little bit. So you said you're the middle child. Middle child,
- 5:28Speaker 3: always looked like Jim Carrey. From New York. Yep, from upstate,
- 5:32Speaker 3: basically Canada.
- 5:33Speaker 1: Okay.
- 5:33Speaker 3: Kind of counts, you know.
- 5:36Speaker 4: Now, have you ever looked into if there's any 23
- 5:38Speaker 4: or me?
- 5:40Speaker 3: No. My mom could never pull Jim Carrey. No. No,
- 5:43Speaker 3: not like he's your dad. Oh, you're saying further back.
- 5:45Speaker 3: Or like maybe you're like fourth cousins or something. Maybe.
- 5:48Speaker 3: I don't know. I've never looked into it. I mean,
- 5:50Speaker 3: the bad thing is you're so close to Canada. You
- 5:51Speaker 3: never know. I know, right? Maybe one slipped over in
- 5:54Speaker 3: the border. Has he reached out to you at all?
- 5:56Speaker 2: No.
- 5:56Speaker 3: You reach out to him. No, I've never reached out
- 5:59Speaker 3: to him. Why not? Because it's like cringy. What am
- 6:01Speaker 3: I going to say? Like, hello, I have your face.
- 6:03Speaker 3: And then what? What would you do if somebody DM'd
- 6:05Speaker 3: you that looked exactly like you? Would you like block?
- 6:07Speaker 4: Well, I have a lot of people that will say
- 6:09Speaker 4: this is your doppelganger, this person's on 90 Day Fiance, whatever.
- 6:13Speaker 3: Some I'm okay with. Some I'm like, yeah, that girl's pretty.
- 6:15Speaker 3: But you're not reaching out going like. No, no. Right.
- 6:18Speaker 3: If it was, I guess if I. It was another comedian.
- 6:22Speaker 6: Yes.
- 6:22Speaker 4: If I, if there was a comedian that like, you know,
- 6:25Speaker 4: was 20 years old or like he's 20 years older
- 6:27Speaker 4: than you or more. And I just can't believe that
- 6:32Speaker 4: he has, that someone hasn't sent your stuff to him.
- 6:35Speaker 3: I'm sure they haven't reached out. I'm sure they have,
- 6:37Speaker 3: but he's probably like, okay.
- 6:40Speaker 7: I don't know.
- 6:40Speaker 3: Maybe he doesn't care. What about that whole thing that happened?
- 6:43Speaker 4: What did you think that happened when it was like
- 6:45Speaker 4: the conspiracy that he was wearing a mask or that
- 6:48Speaker 4: he was there and that he looked so different or
- 6:51Speaker 4: he got work done?
- 6:52Speaker 3: What did we ever find out? It's face work. All
- 6:55Speaker 3: of a sudden people forgot about face work. So you
- 6:57Speaker 3: think it was him? It's just face work. Yeah. Everyone
- 7:00Speaker 3: thought it was. And it hadn't settled down yet. Yeah,
- 7:02Speaker 3: there was fillers. I think there's some bleph. Upper, lower, middle.
- 7:07Speaker 3: Who knows? You know who I think just got an
- 7:10Speaker 3: upper bluff? Ryan Seacrest?
- 7:12Speaker 1: No.
- 7:13Speaker 5: Okay.
- 7:13Speaker 3: I'm just guessing. You know Olivia Wilde?
- 7:16Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 7:17Speaker 3: Oh my God. She looks, I got to do a
- 7:19Speaker 3: video on that. A cuckoo bananas.
- 7:20Speaker 5: Okay.
- 7:20Speaker 3: What's going on there? Olivia Wilde, beautiful actress. She dated
- 7:26Speaker 3: Harry Styles for a while. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Who,
- 7:28Speaker 3: by the way, is now engaged to Zoe Kravitz. Who
- 7:30Speaker 3: gets engaged every year. But also, I don't think anyone
- 7:32Speaker 3: seems to care. No one cares. And they keep pumping the,
- 7:35Speaker 3: they keep sending it to, like, people to pump. And
- 7:37Speaker 3: people are like, we don't, we have, we're fine. We
- 7:40Speaker 3: don't care. Harry Styles, who cares? And I always thought
- 7:45Speaker 3: Harry Styles was a little gay. He's a little gay,
- 7:48Speaker 3: isn't he? He's a little gay. He's a little gay.
- 7:50Speaker 4: And then she, and then they worked on that movie,
- 7:53Speaker 4: Don't Worry About It, Darling. They were on that movie,
- 7:56Speaker 4: Don't Worry About Darling, which I was so excited about
- 7:58Speaker 4: because I love Palm Springs. I have a house out there.
- 8:01Speaker 4: I love that era of 1960s. And I thought it
- 8:04Speaker 4: was going to be a fun 1960s thing.
- 8:06Speaker 3: No, it was dark. And it was so dark. In
- 8:09Speaker 3: the end, he was just like, what do you call
- 8:11Speaker 3: those creepy guys that are just into video games? Yeah,
- 8:14Speaker 3: wasn't he just like an incel? Just like a Redditor incel?
- 8:16Speaker 3: He turned out he was just an incel. They were
- 8:17Speaker 3: like controlling. He was so jealous of his beautiful girlfriend
- 8:20Speaker 3: who was a doctor that he... Yeah, didn't he like
- 8:23Speaker 3: sedate her and then just make her perfect in like
- 8:25Speaker 3: a virtual world or something? I forgot about that movie.
- 8:27Speaker 3: In a virtual world.
- 8:27Speaker 4: They were in the 1960s and she was like a 1950s,
- 8:30Speaker 4: 60s housewife. And that's what it was. But anyway, Olivia
- 8:36Speaker 4: Wilde was in it, but she was a director. And
- 8:39Speaker 4: basically left her husband, Jason Sudeikis. Sudeikis.
- 8:45Speaker 3: I love that. Sudeudu. Sudeikis? Yeah. I like Sudeikis better.
- 8:50Speaker 3: He served her while she was doing like a TED
- 8:53Speaker 3: Talk or like a panel. Yeah, it's fierce. Divorce papers. Fierce.
- 8:57Speaker 4: Anyway, she showed up and I'm like, listen, what is
- 9:03Speaker 4: going on? And I'm like, I guess this is just
- 9:06Speaker 4: someone who is already thin, that's jealous that everybody else
- 9:09Speaker 4: is getting thin and wants to be the thinnest. But
- 9:13Speaker 4: then my friend sent and said, no, she got the
- 9:18Speaker 4: upper bleph.
- 9:19Speaker 3: I think it's that and Ozempic.
- 9:21Speaker 4: I have always said I like that sexy eye look.
- 9:24Speaker 4: What is an upper bleph? Okay, so it's like, like, okay,
- 9:29Speaker 4: so say how I have like a bone here.
- 9:31Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 9:31Speaker 4: Okay, so some people have different eyelids and she's one
- 9:35Speaker 4: of those people, she never really had the bone, but
- 9:37Speaker 4: I think it's pretty, like Renee Zellweger and Leanne Rimes.
- 9:42Speaker 4: And a lot of people, it's a unique eye shape.
- 9:45Speaker 4: I think it's beautiful. But then you go see a
- 9:48Speaker 4: plastic surgeon and they're like, no, we'll take out this
- 9:51Speaker 4: piece of skin so that you then can see that bone.
- 9:55Speaker 4: But it really changes your look.
- 9:57Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 9:58Speaker 4: Like you can lift your face a little, You can
- 10:00Speaker 4: fill your lip a little. But when you change the
- 10:03Speaker 4: eye shape, then it's like, and that's what it is.
- 10:07Speaker 4: It's not only is she older, always been thin, but.
- 10:10Speaker 3: Now she changed. Yeah, she's really thin though. I'm like,
- 10:12Speaker 3: is it ozempic? She would waste away.
- 10:14Speaker 4: Maybe I think it's this eye thing and just always
- 10:17Speaker 4: being thin and just being at age.
- 10:18Speaker 3: Yeah, it was spooky. I don't even know where we
- 10:21Speaker 3: were going with this. Shout out Olivia Wilde. Well, we
- 10:23Speaker 3: were saying Jim Carrey's upper bluff.
- 10:24Speaker 4: So anyway, that was such like a kind of a
- 10:28Speaker 4: fun couple days of conspiracy theories because then it was like, no,
- 10:31Speaker 4: is it this Alexis Stone who's like this incredible makeup artist?
- 10:36Speaker 3: And she played into it. It was smart. Yes. It
- 10:38Speaker 3: was smart.
- 10:38Speaker 4: And then it was, no, but his daughter, you know,
- 10:42Speaker 4: and girlfriend are there and like, what is it? But
- 10:45Speaker 4: then he had that weird voice in the speech. But
- 10:47Speaker 4: I also was like, is he playing into like a
- 10:50Speaker 4: fun experiment for us to freak out?
- 10:52Speaker 3: No, I think it's just aging. It's like Biden always whisper.
- 10:55Speaker 3: Biden's like, but like when he was 30, he probably
- 10:58Speaker 3: was more. I think he's just an Asian guy. Have
- 11:00Speaker 3: you ever gone down that rabbit hole about the Biden doubles?
- 11:03Speaker 3: And that like there was one Biden that was like
- 11:04Speaker 3: three inches taller. No, I had a guy come up
- 11:06Speaker 3: to me at a show after and be like, I
- 11:08Speaker 3: know it's you. And I'm like, what? And he's like,
- 11:10Speaker 3: I know you're Jim Carrey as Joe Biden. And I
- 11:12Speaker 3: was like, I got to get the fuck out of
- 11:13Speaker 3: South Carolina. I don't know what the fuck is going on. Greenville,
- 11:16Speaker 3: South Carolina, you're fucked up.
- 11:18Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 11:18Speaker 3: I mean, this guy, none of the conspiracy theories make sense.
- 11:21Speaker 3: Like they thought I was on the red carpet as
- 11:24Speaker 3: Jim Carrey, but my, but then what I'm wearing a,
- 11:27Speaker 3: prosthetic mask that makes me look crazy. I couldn't follow.
- 11:31Speaker 3: People were saying I was a clone. I'm like, why
- 11:32Speaker 3: am I involved? I'm a frail lesbian in Kentucky.
- 11:35Speaker 4: When was the first time that you did realize there
- 11:38Speaker 4: is a very strong resemblance?
- 11:40Speaker 3: How old were you? Like a child. Like eight. When
- 11:42Speaker 3: Ace Ventura movies were coming out. Because I could just
- 11:44Speaker 3: pull the face. Just like the all righty. I could
- 11:47Speaker 3: just do that. And you went to see Ace Ventura
- 11:50Speaker 3: and you did that? Yeah, I would just do it
- 11:52Speaker 3: for my friends and babysitters and you know.
- 11:55Speaker 4: And so the first time you discovered it yourself. Yeah,
- 11:58Speaker 4: you could just pull the face. And you enjoyed his comedy, too. Yeah,
- 12:01Speaker 4: it was a huge comedy.
- 12:03Speaker 3: Yeah, I love his films. I know way too much
- 12:04Speaker 3: about him now from being online. Like, I don't need
- 12:06Speaker 3: to know that he's a Capricorn. Don't need to know that.
- 12:09Speaker 3: I don't need to know his personal life at all.
- 12:11Speaker 3: I'm not somebody that's, like, super into, like, you know,
- 12:15Speaker 3: Stan behavior. But I know way too much about that
- 12:16Speaker 3: man now from online.
- 12:18Speaker 4: Well, one thing I do love about his story, a
- 12:21Speaker 4: couple things that I really do love.
- 12:23Speaker 3: Is he was.
- 12:25Speaker 4: The manifesting mama before I was the manifesting mama, before
- 12:29Speaker 4: Amanda on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was a manifesting queen.
- 12:33Speaker 3: Oh, her courses? Yeah.
- 12:35Speaker 4: Because he wrote himself a check for $ 10 million, put
- 12:41Speaker 4: the date on it.
- 12:42Speaker 3: Yep. And just like put it away.
- 12:46Speaker 4: And like a few days before that day expired, the
- 12:50Speaker 4: agent called and said, you're going to do this movie
- 12:53Speaker 4: and they're paying you $ 10 million.
- 12:54Speaker 3: That's sick. I love that. It is amazing. He's a
- 12:56Speaker 3: manifesting mama. He is a manifesting mama. Get it, JC.
- 13:00Speaker 3: I love it. He's very spiritual. I love that too.
- 13:03Speaker 3: He's on red carpet saying he's not real. That's fun.
- 13:06Speaker 3: Is that schizophrenia? I don't know. It's fun. Who cares?
- 13:09Speaker 3: I would also be like, I'm not real if I
- 13:11Speaker 3: was that rich. I'd be like, bleh. I remember when
- 13:14Speaker 3: he was dating Jenny McCarthy. Yeah. She's commented on my
- 13:17Speaker 3: videos and I'm like, this is a love triangle. I
- 13:19Speaker 3: don't want to get involved. They were together like four years.
- 13:21Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 13:22Speaker 3: And, um, that was, that was like kind of a juicy.
- 13:26Speaker 3: When was that though? Like 10, 15? I remember it
- 13:28Speaker 3: was my early Chelsea Lately days because Chelsea and she
- 13:31Speaker 3: were close. Oh.
- 13:32Speaker 4: And I was like on the road with Chelsea and
- 13:34Speaker 4: they were like going through something cause she was being
- 13:37Speaker 4: a good friend and like taking the phone.
- 13:39Speaker 3: Yeah. And I was like, Oh, are they like, Breaking up? Like,
- 13:43Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Like, you know, when a
- 13:44Speaker 3: girl is just like, hold on. And you're just like, okay.
- 13:50Speaker 3: And then they did. They broke up. Yeah.
- 13:53Speaker 4: They were a fun little couple. She's definitely married to
- 13:56Speaker 4: the right guy.
- 13:57Speaker 3: Oh, my God. They could not be, like, more happy.
- 13:59Speaker 3: Which one? What's his name? Bruce? Donnie. Donnie. I don't
- 14:02Speaker 3: think there's a Bruce. There probably is one out there
- 14:05Speaker 3: that just, like, runs a bank. I don't know. There's
- 14:07Speaker 3: so many Wahlbergs. I can't keep track. They're like Baldwin's.
- 14:10Speaker 4: Okay, so what was your high school life like? Were
- 14:13Speaker 4: you in the theater arts or no?
- 14:15Speaker 3: No. I went to a private school in Florida. What
- 14:19Speaker 3: kind of a private school? So I moved to Florida. Like, horrible. Like,
- 14:21Speaker 3: just sad. No, like non-denominational or Catholic?
- 14:23Speaker 5: No, no.
- 14:23Speaker 3: It was, I think, Catholic. I don't know. You know
- 14:25Speaker 3: if it's Catholic or not.
- 14:26Speaker 2: I think so.
- 14:26Speaker 3: Did you have to take religion? Well, I don't know
- 14:27Speaker 3: the difference between Catholic and Christian. To be so honest. Well,
- 14:30Speaker 3: were there priests? See how that school worked out?
- 14:32Speaker 4: Were there priests? Was Jesus on a cross and did
- 14:35Speaker 4: he have good abs?
- 14:37Speaker 3: Great abs. What's with that? Then you were at the
- 14:39Speaker 3: Catholic school. I remember being like, that guy's fucking hot.
- 14:42Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 14:42Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 14:43Speaker 3: Okay. It was Catholic? Yes. Catholic. Yes.
- 14:45Speaker 4: Otherwise, Christian would not have, that's the crucifix. They would
- 14:48Speaker 4: just have a cross.
- 14:49Speaker 3: Interesting. I didn't know that. I believe, people will.
- 14:53Speaker 4: Correct me, I believe from all my Catholic education, being
- 14:56Speaker 4: raised Catholic, that the crucifix is synonymous with Catholic.
- 15:01Speaker 3: That really checks out because I remember every time it
- 15:03Speaker 3: would be like an eight-pack. Yeah. Like, this guy's ripped. Exactly. Yeah,
- 15:08Speaker 3: so no public funding. So it was all like no
- 15:12Speaker 3: arts programs. Oh, okay. It was real sad. My religion
- 15:15Speaker 3: teacher had cerebral palsy. Oh, really? Yeah. She would tell
- 15:20Speaker 3: she had half a brain, and I'm like, we can
- 15:22Speaker 3: make it up. It's fine. You don't need— this isn't math.
- 15:24Speaker 3: And so she— Yeah, so it was fine, but I
- 15:30Speaker 3: wasn't in theater. I always knew I wanted to do stand-up, though,
- 15:33Speaker 3: but I was chicken shit.
- 15:33Speaker 4: When did you— when was the first, like, stand-up thing that
- 15:36Speaker 4: you saw on TV?
- 15:37Speaker 3: I remember, like, Comedy Central half— remember the half-hour presents? Yes,
- 15:40Speaker 3: I loved those. I watched those all the time.
- 15:41Speaker 2: I know.
- 15:41Speaker 3: I would watch them nonstop and just be like, I
- 15:44Speaker 3: want to do that so bad. And I grew up
- 15:46Speaker 3: on Jim Carrey movies.
- 15:47Speaker 4: So I really parents like that's going to be you
- 15:49Speaker 4: one day where they supportive of that dream.
- 15:51Speaker 3: No, no, I don't. I don't. I think they just
- 15:54Speaker 3: wanted me to have a stable job where I could
- 15:55Speaker 3: make money. All they care about is just like, just
- 15:57Speaker 3: please make money so that we don't have to like,
- 15:59Speaker 3: you know, bail you out in life. And what were
- 16:02Speaker 3: they like? Middle class, upper middle class. I would say
- 16:04Speaker 3: upper mid. OK, but like frugal. We had more money
- 16:08Speaker 3: that they let on. They're retired now. They retired right
- 16:10Speaker 3: at like fifty five. And you're like, why are you
- 16:12Speaker 3: living so good? I was like, whatever. I don't care. No, no,
- 16:16Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. I wish I was bougie. Gosh.
- 16:20Speaker 4: Interesting that you guys can now buy a second home
- 16:23Speaker 4: now that I don't live with you.
- 16:23Speaker 3: Why are we eating cheese and crackers for dinner, Dad?
- 16:26Speaker 3: I mean, I think we can afford something better. Why
- 16:28Speaker 3: were you acting like we were going to lose the
- 16:30Speaker 3: house every month?
- 16:30Speaker 1: Yes, literally.
- 16:31Speaker 3: It was like that mentality of like, we drive Toyota
- 16:33Speaker 3: Camrys and we have no money. And it's like, okay,
- 16:35Speaker 3: you're retiring on a beach right now. You're fine. I'm
- 16:38Speaker 3: happy that they're good. Thank God. I don't want, you know,
- 16:40Speaker 3: my parents working as Walmart greeters. It's good that they're retired. Yes. Yeah,
- 16:45Speaker 3: so I always wanted to do stand-up. I was too
- 16:47Speaker 3: chicken shit. And then I finally did it at like
- 16:49Speaker 3: 25 in Orlando.
- 16:51Speaker 7: Planning on rewarding your staff this year? Struggling to choose
- 16:54Speaker 7: between a shop gift card or a pay anywhere card?
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- 16:58Speaker 7: With Options Card, your employees get both. They can spend
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- 17:07Speaker 7: You choose who to reward and how much. Options Card
- 17:11Speaker 7: handles the rest. It's valid for five years with no
- 17:13Speaker 7: fees chipping away at the balance.
- 17:15Speaker 3: Make your rewards more rewarding. Visit optionscard.ie today.
- 17:21Speaker 5: I'm Darman, and this is What Happens Next. Each week
- 17:24Speaker 5: on the show, I sit down with extraordinary people who
- 17:27Speaker 5: have faced tremendous setbacks and yet somehow have found a
- 17:32Speaker 5: way to turn them into their greatest strengths.
- 17:34Speaker 3: Life is one long lesson of chaos. I'm heading to
- 17:38Speaker 3: the Emmys, and I have police complaints filed against me.
- 17:41Speaker 3: When your free will was about to be taken from you,
- 17:43Speaker 3: what would you do if it was given back?
- 17:46Speaker 5: Where did that need come from where you thought that
- 17:48Speaker 5: you had to succeed in order to feel loved?
- 17:51Speaker 3: He said, I have a work dad. I need a
- 17:52Speaker 3: home dad. What happens next? When I came in, he
- 17:55Speaker 3: started crying.
- 17:56Speaker 5: Everybody in life encounters hardships. What defines them is not
- 18:00Speaker 5: those hard moments that they go through. It's about what
- 18:03Speaker 5: happens next.
- 18:04Speaker 3: I decided to risk it all. I realized how valuable
- 18:07Speaker 3: every day was. You're worth the work. Listen, Dara, I'm
- 18:09Speaker 3: not going to pull punches. You can use your voice
- 18:12Speaker 3: even if it's shaped.
- 18:13Speaker 5: The stories are different, but the impact is the same.
- 18:16Speaker 5: Only one question matters. What happens next?
- 18:27Speaker 3: And tell me about your first time. It was great.
- 18:30Speaker 3: You know, it was a sad open mic. Low stakes. Okay.
- 18:33Speaker 3: Only comics in the room. In Orlando. Had you prepared? Like,
- 18:36Speaker 3: had you been working on stuff? Yeah, I had been
- 18:37Speaker 3: writing jokes for years.
- 18:38Speaker 4: So you kind of knew, like, this would be a
- 18:41Speaker 4: good little five-minute set?
- 18:42Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it was one-liners. I was doing one-liners
- 18:45Speaker 3: when I started. Uh-huh. Because it was, like, you know,
- 18:46Speaker 3: easy to just... And did you lead with I Look
- 18:48Speaker 3: Like Jim Carrey?
- 18:49Speaker 6: No.
- 18:49Speaker 3: Okay. I didn't do any of that. Okay. People would
- 18:52Speaker 3: always tell me after shows, when I started doing shows
- 18:54Speaker 3: and stuff, they'd be like, you know who you look like?
- 18:56Speaker 4: And when did you finally like lean in and know
- 18:57Speaker 4: that and then realize, I'm really funny, but this does help.
- 19:01Speaker 3: COVID. Oh, okay. Bored in the house. Everybody was bored
- 19:05Speaker 3: making sourdough bread. Remember that?
- 19:07Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 19:07Speaker 3: God, we were depressed. Yeah, we were in the house.
- 19:09Speaker 3: I never made the sourdough bread. I didn't either. I
- 19:11Speaker 3: was Tiger King and, you know, drinking. Me too.
- 19:13Speaker 4: I did a Tiger King video. I acted like that
- 19:15Speaker 4: weird lady and rode my bike around.
- 19:17Speaker 6: Carol?
- 19:17Speaker 3: Yeah, and I had a Bengal cat. I acted like
- 19:20Speaker 3: the Bengal cat was like the tiger's. Yes, Carol Baskins.
- 19:23Speaker 3: That was like the fun part of COVID. It was.
- 19:26Speaker 3: COVID season one was the best. The first season was unbeatable.
- 19:31Speaker 3: We were all in it together. Everybody enjoyed the break. Yeah.
- 19:34Speaker 3: Then it jumped the shark. We got to like, yeah,
- 19:36Speaker 3: it totally jumped the shark. Like season three, it jumped
- 19:39Speaker 3: the shark. I'm like, we're still doing masks outside. We
- 19:41Speaker 3: can't do this.
- 19:41Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 19:42Speaker 3: But the first, that was the golden time. Yeah.
- 19:45Speaker 4: And like that time where like all of a sudden,
- 19:47Speaker 4: I like remember like I talked to my friend because
- 19:50Speaker 4: it started March 20th and yeah I talked to my
- 19:52Speaker 4: friend just after Easter and she said she was like
- 19:57Speaker 4: whispering and she's like we saw another family for Easter
- 20:00Speaker 4: I go what yeah She goes, yeah. Rami couldn't take it.
- 20:04Speaker 4: He's like, I have to see another family, her husband.
- 20:06Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, my God.
- 20:08Speaker 3: It's illegal. Oh, my God. And I go to my husband.
- 20:10Speaker 3: I'm like, Noelle and Rami saw another family at Easter.
- 20:14Speaker 3: And my husband's like. I'd like to see another family.
- 20:16Speaker 3: And then we were like, and then people started to
- 20:19Speaker 3: like fish. Yes. Like they started to fish. Like I
- 20:21Speaker 3: was almost like having an affair. Like, yes. Would you
- 20:23Speaker 3: be down to meet?
- 20:24Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 20:24Speaker 3: Like, and people like.
- 20:25Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 20:26Speaker 7: Discreet.
- 20:26Speaker 3: Real discreet. Nobody has to know.
- 20:28Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 20:28Speaker 3: I was in Florida, which was great. Cause it was
- 20:31Speaker 3: like three hours. They were like, it's over. Go outside.
- 20:34Speaker 3: They didn't even address it. If you wore a mask,
- 20:36Speaker 3: you were called a gay. That was the craziest thing
- 20:37Speaker 3: that like based on where you lived.
- 20:39Speaker 6: Oh, yeah.
- 20:40Speaker 4: I got caught smiling in a photo once during COVID
- 20:43Speaker 4: and people were like.
- 20:44Speaker 3: That's on our podcast. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, sorry
- 20:48Speaker 3: that I smiled.
- 20:49Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 20:50Speaker 3: It was a different time in Florida. Yeah. It wasn't
- 20:52Speaker 3: even real.
- 20:53Speaker 4: And I think that the people that were really strict
- 20:55Speaker 4: about it and like out to like get people ruined,
- 20:59Speaker 4: they're like quiet now.
- 21:00Speaker 3: Where are they at? Yeah. They're not like. They're not
- 21:02Speaker 3: leaving their house, I don't think. I still believe. They're
- 21:05Speaker 3: just kind of like, OK, let's not talk about that time. Yeah.
- 21:09Speaker 3: It was a weird time. We were Instacarting groceries and
- 21:11Speaker 3: wiping them down. I mean, what are we doing? I
- 21:13Speaker 3: remember doing that once. I was like, I'd rather just
- 21:15Speaker 3: get sick. This is insane. I'm wiping my, you know,
- 21:20Speaker 3: box of cereal. I can't do this. It's too much.
- 21:22Speaker 3: It's losing dignity. What a time. During COVID, I was bored.
- 21:28Speaker 3: I said, I'm going to get on TikTok, this weird
- 21:29Speaker 3: app where children are dancing. And I'm going to convince them.
- 21:33Speaker 3: I was like, let me just see if I can
- 21:34Speaker 3: convince them because I always hear it. So now let
- 21:37Speaker 3: me see. So now at this point, you've been doing
- 21:38Speaker 3: stand-up like five years? Five-ish years, yep. And were you
- 21:41Speaker 3: making any money at it? No, local shows I would
- 21:44Speaker 3: feature here and there. You'd feature, that's good. But all
- 21:46Speaker 3: in Florida where you lived. Yeah, so it was very,
- 21:48Speaker 3: there's a ceiling. And what was your day job before COVID?
- 21:50Speaker 3: I would do like admin work and project management for
- 21:54Speaker 3: like theme park companies. I worked at a desk that
- 21:58Speaker 3: Casey Anthony worked at in Orlando. I opened the desk
- 22:01Speaker 3: drawer my first day and there was a picture of
- 22:03Speaker 3: a pregnant Casey Anthony with my boss. And I was like,
- 22:05Speaker 3: what the fuck is this? And they were like, oh,
- 22:07Speaker 3: she worked at that desk. Isn't that nuts? It was
- 22:11Speaker 3: her last job before the murder that she's off on. Innocent. Love, Florida.
- 22:17Speaker 3: I have another podcast called Juicy Crimes.
- 22:19Speaker 4: And Casey Anthony is one of those that is like
- 22:23Speaker 4: my top tier, like watched everything on it, followed the
- 22:28Speaker 4: whole story when it's happening in real time.
- 22:30Speaker 3: Watched the trial. I was in Orlando during that. So
- 22:33Speaker 3: that was a job... That was the Universal Connection job.
- 22:36Speaker 3: But then she also, I thought she never had that job.
- 22:39Speaker 3: She had access to Universal Studios through the company we
- 22:41Speaker 3: worked at, but she didn't actually work at Universal Studios.
- 22:43Speaker 3: So that's why she brought them down that hallway. She
- 22:45Speaker 3: had access still. And then when she got to the end,
- 22:47Speaker 3: she's like, all right, I don't actually work here. So
- 22:51Speaker 3: it's like we had access because we were working with
- 22:53Speaker 3: the theme parks. But at one time she did work there.
- 22:55Speaker 3: She had this desk. Because we were a photo, it
- 22:59Speaker 3: was like a Kodak kind of company. Oh, okay. Like
- 23:01Speaker 3: theme park, roller coaster ride photos, basically. It was like
- 23:05Speaker 3: the engineering for that. And did you go to... I
- 23:07Speaker 3: asked the tea. I said, what's you got to tell me?
- 23:10Speaker 3: And they were like, number one, she lied about everything.
- 23:13Speaker 3: Like you could see her eat a salad at lunch
- 23:15Speaker 3: and she'd tell you she had a hamburger.
- 23:17Speaker 4: Those kind of liars fascinate me.
- 23:20Speaker 3: Just lied about everything.
- 23:22Speaker 4: It's like a grifter liar, con woman, all that kind
- 23:25Speaker 4: of stuff. I'm always like, why? What is the goal
- 23:28Speaker 4: about lying about what you had for lunch?
- 23:31Speaker 3: Even when people saw it.
- 23:33Speaker 1: Right.
- 23:33Speaker 3: And then she wouldn't, she, for the first five months
- 23:35Speaker 3: of her pregnancy, she told everybody it was a cyst.
- 23:38Speaker 3: Isn't that crazy? They'd be like, you look, are you good?
- 23:41Speaker 3: And she'd tell everybody it was a cyst. And then
- 23:43Speaker 3: finally at like five months, she was like, all right,
- 23:44Speaker 3: I'm pregnant. And they're like, we know.
- 23:46Speaker 7: We know.
- 23:48Speaker 3: Isn't that wild? What is your theory of what happened?
- 23:52Speaker 3: She murdered that baby. She took that baby's life. Yeah,
- 23:55Speaker 3: I think, I don't, I don't really know about any
- 23:57Speaker 3: of the family dynamics. This is what I think. I
- 23:59Speaker 3: didn't really care. This is my theory of what happened.
- 24:01Speaker 3: She didn't want to be a mom. She's a Florida mom.
- 24:04Speaker 3: I think... Here we go. You better not say... No.
- 24:08Speaker 3: I don't think the dad had anything to do with it. No.
- 24:11Speaker 4: What I think happened was I think that she accidentally
- 24:16Speaker 4: gave her way too much... Benadryl type of something see
- 24:21Speaker 4: like for sleeping and was like if she could just
- 24:23Speaker 4: sleep like longer than I can go do this thing
- 24:26Speaker 4: yeah like go out and or maybe she'd done it
- 24:29Speaker 4: before successfully yeah where she'd given her stuff gone out
- 24:33Speaker 4: come back and she's fine left her at home alone
- 24:36Speaker 4: yeah whatever yeah um That's what I always thought. Then
- 24:41Speaker 4: when I watched that last thing that was kind of,
- 24:45Speaker 4: there was one that was like very much, you know,
- 24:47Speaker 4: the thing about documentaries, especially crime ones, They don't have
- 24:51Speaker 4: to show both sides.
- 24:52Speaker 3: No, I know. They edit it so that people watch
- 24:55Speaker 3: it and there's new info. Yeah.
- 24:57Speaker 4: And all of a sudden then people are convinced. And
- 24:59Speaker 4: all of a sudden Rosie O'Donnell is like, I believe,
- 25:01Speaker 4: like Rosie O'Donnell gets switched so quickly.
- 25:04Speaker 3: She's a little, she's gullible. She's like, you know, Eric
- 25:06Speaker 3: and Lyle Menendez, I call them on the phone at
- 25:08Speaker 3: the prison. Yeah, she's like big.
- 25:09Speaker 4: And then she was like very pro Casey Anthony after watching.
- 25:13Speaker 5: Yes.
- 25:13Speaker 3: After watching that, she was like, I knew it was
- 25:16Speaker 3: the dad. This is like people who think Scott Peterson's innocent.
- 25:18Speaker 3: I can't. Well, listen to me. No, Heather. I don't
- 25:21Speaker 3: think he's innocent. Thank God.
- 25:23Speaker 4: I want to say, oh, there was just a news
- 25:25Speaker 4: article that said they're, you know, they're not re-opening it.
- 25:27Speaker 3: However.
- 25:29Speaker 4: It is a very compelling case because of the other
- 25:32Speaker 4: similar things that were happening in that town.
- 25:35Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 25:36Speaker 4: But there was so much evidence that proves that, you know,
- 25:39Speaker 4: the lying and everything. And I've talked about him ad nauseum.
- 25:44Speaker 4: But I am like, wow, there are a lot of
- 25:47Speaker 4: things where there were other pregnant women missing and there
- 25:49Speaker 4: were things like that.
- 25:50Speaker 3: That could help with his defense.
- 25:51Speaker 4: But my always thing is, even if you hate your
- 25:54Speaker 4: wife and you weren't excited about the baby, how many
- 25:57Speaker 4: people are like, Oh, my God.
- 26:00Speaker 3: Thanks, God. Kind of hoping she would die.
- 26:03Speaker 4: She went missing. We don't know where she is. In
- 26:05Speaker 4: the meantime, let me reinstate my porn cable channel.
- 26:08Speaker 3: Or go to Mexico with blonde hair. Yes. Well, that
- 26:11Speaker 3: was later on. It was later, but it's like... And
- 26:12Speaker 3: it was because he was tired of people approaching him. No, no.
- 26:16Speaker 3: And that $ 8, 000 was from a car he sold.
- 26:18Speaker 7: No.
- 26:19Speaker 3: No, I know. These are all the stories. No, these
- 26:20Speaker 3: are the people... But these are the stories. These are
- 26:22Speaker 3: the defense. But the one... But really, it was the
- 26:25Speaker 3: porn cable. I didn't know that. Okay, so... So she's missing.
- 26:29Speaker 3: She's missing. Can't find her.
- 26:31Speaker 4: And then he calls up the cable company and is like,
- 26:34Speaker 4: can I reinstate the porn channel? It's very important to me.
- 26:37Speaker 4: And I think it's these details that, to me, tell
- 26:42Speaker 4: the story. Because I'm like, if you believed that somebody
- 26:47Speaker 4: had kidnapped her, she's broke her ankle in a ditch
- 26:50Speaker 4: while taking the dog for a walk, we're going to
- 26:51Speaker 4: find her.
- 26:52Speaker 3: Wouldn't you just wait like a couple weeks? Because if
- 26:56Speaker 3: she comes back tomorrow... You're going to have to cancel
- 26:59Speaker 3: it and you're going to have to pay for the
- 27:00Speaker 3: whole month. And you're going to have to explain to
- 27:01Speaker 3: her that you signed up for porn while she was missing.
- 27:03Speaker 3: But you're also going to pay for a month that
- 27:05Speaker 3: you didn't get to enjoy. So you're pretty much hoping
- 27:07Speaker 3: that at least she'll be gone for 30 days. Right.
- 27:10Speaker 4: So that you know this $ 12 or whatever it was
- 27:11Speaker 4: at the time is a waste.
- 27:13Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 27:13Speaker 3: And that was really, really what. That's a hard one
- 27:17Speaker 3: to sell. That was a hard one. But also men
- 27:19Speaker 3: don't think long term, I think.
- 27:21Speaker 1: Right.
- 27:22Speaker 6: Who knows?
- 27:22Speaker 3: Who knows? That's just a crazy, yeah, the Casey Anthony.
- 27:25Speaker 7: Yes.
- 27:25Speaker 4: I don't know anybody that. That's insane. Okay, so did you.
- 27:29Speaker 3: Go to college? Yeah, so I went to, I was
- 27:32Speaker 3: in Orlando. I went to UCF for a little. Did
- 27:34Speaker 3: you enjoy it? No, I hated school. Okay. I hate school.
- 27:38Speaker 3: It's not for me. I always knew I was not,
- 27:41Speaker 3: I wasn't going to be an engineer. Okay, so you've
- 27:43Speaker 3: been doing it for five years.
- 27:45Speaker 4: It's COVID and you decide, what's like your first video
- 27:49Speaker 4: that kind of like really popped off?
- 27:50Speaker 3: The first one. Literally the first one I posted. Oh,
- 27:52Speaker 3: you joined TikTok. I joined TikTok. I posted a video saying,
- 27:55Speaker 3: can you please help me find my father? He's abandoned me.
- 27:58Speaker 3: You know, and I did this. And it's like, I
- 28:01Speaker 3: was like, nobody's going to really, this will be fun.
- 28:03Speaker 3: And it just blew up and everybody was in their
- 28:06Speaker 3: house during COVID losing their minds already. So now they're like,
- 28:09Speaker 3: oh my God, Jim Carrey's abandoned a daughter. They believed it.
- 28:13Speaker 2: Yes.
- 28:13Speaker 3: And I had to walk it back because I was like,
- 28:15Speaker 3: I'm not, I'm going to get sued. This is going
- 28:18Speaker 3: to be like. Jim Carrey, deadbeat father, you know? Okay.
- 28:22Speaker 3: So I kind of, I walked it back a little.
- 28:24Speaker 3: I had fun with it still with the lookalike stuff,
- 28:26Speaker 3: but I kind of slowly... just did my kind of comedy.
- 28:30Speaker 6: Okay.
- 28:30Speaker 3: Talking about, you know, celebrities and kind of just transitioning
- 28:33Speaker 3: to that. Okay. Yeah, it was immediate. But I think
- 28:36Speaker 3: if I did it now, I don't know if it
- 28:38Speaker 3: would have blown up as much. Everybody was in their house. Right.
- 28:41Speaker 3: On TikTok, on social media. Yeah, timing is a thing.
- 28:43Speaker 3: Using their goddamn minds, you know?
- 28:45Speaker 4: And so then when you started to get a big
- 28:47Speaker 4: following on social media, did it then, how did that
- 28:50Speaker 4: propel you? like selling tickets and getting better gigs.
- 28:53Speaker 3: So then I was like, okay, I done standup. I had,
- 28:56Speaker 3: you know, feature time and I was like, I want
- 28:58Speaker 3: a headline. Probably had like 40 good minutes and I
- 29:01Speaker 3: was like, I'll just figure it out. In the first
- 29:02Speaker 3: year I was figuring out how to get to an
- 29:03Speaker 3: hour of like good material. Um, but yeah, that helped.
- 29:07Speaker 3: That helped like start, you know, I started just booking
- 29:09Speaker 3: shows of my own, going to clubs and, you know,
- 29:12Speaker 3: hometown and, you know, working on an hour and get it.
- 29:15Speaker 3: Cause I'd never headlined before. It's crazy. The first time
- 29:18Speaker 3: you're headlining, do you remember that?
- 29:19Speaker 4: Well, I mean, I remember like the first time someone
- 29:22Speaker 4: asked me to do 20 minutes and I didn't have
- 29:26Speaker 4: 20 minutes.
- 29:26Speaker 3: But I said, yes. Yeah. If you can do, you
- 29:28Speaker 3: got like 15, 18. You should never say no to
- 29:30Speaker 3: the opportunity, no matter what it is.
- 29:34Speaker 4: Unless you're lying about being a surgeon and someone's like,
- 29:36Speaker 4: can you do open heart surgery tomorrow?
- 29:39Speaker 3: And you're like a con man. please don't do that.
- 29:41Speaker 4: But if you're just like doing something like that and
- 29:44Speaker 4: it is kind of above your pay.
- 29:46Speaker 3: Grade or whatever, just go for it. Just know that
- 29:48Speaker 3: you can like. do it.
- 29:51Speaker 4: Cause if you say no to the opportunity, it might
- 29:53Speaker 4: not come back again. So yeah, I remember going, will
- 29:56Speaker 4: this be hard?
- 29:57Speaker 3: But it wasn't.
- 29:58Speaker 4: Cause once you're like flowing and like, you know, you're
- 30:02Speaker 4: looking at the clock. It wasn't ever like, Oh my God,
- 30:05Speaker 4: I'm only at, you know.
- 30:07Speaker 3: And they also don't know. Like, I remember I would start,
- 30:09Speaker 3: I would do 45. That's my headlining set. Like when
- 30:12Speaker 3: I first started. Isn't that like the minimum? That's the minimum.
- 30:15Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 30:15Speaker 3: You can do 45 to 60. I think after like
- 30:17Speaker 3: an hour, you're like, all right, I've seen headliners do
- 30:19Speaker 3: like an hour and a half, two hours, and it's like,
- 30:20Speaker 3: you're insane. Oh, people do like three hours.
- 30:23Speaker 1: I can't.
- 30:24Speaker 3: That's like, now you're just masturbating. What are we doing?
- 30:26Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
- 30:26Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 30:27Speaker 3: Yeah, so I started with 45 and just slowly became
- 30:30Speaker 3: very comfortable with it. Now I'm like, you know, I
- 30:31Speaker 3: do like an hour. Yeah. It's fun. Sometimes if it sucks, though,
- 30:35Speaker 3: I'm like, thank God it's 45. Good night. You know?
- 30:37Speaker 3: You ever just have like, you're in Naples, Florida. Sorry, Naples.
- 30:41Speaker 3: And what do you think that is? Do you think
- 30:43Speaker 3: it's based on you or the crowd? No. It's the
- 30:46Speaker 3: vibe of the crowd. Yeah. And maybe I'm just having, yeah,
- 30:48Speaker 3: they just don't connect. Like I'm saying Naples, Florida is just,
- 30:51Speaker 3: it's not my kind of crowd. I don't know why
- 30:53Speaker 3: they booked me. It's like very, everyone's almost dead there. Okay.
- 30:57Speaker 3: Very nice people. But I was, I was bombing. They
- 30:59Speaker 3: just don't get it. They don't know gay. I'm like
- 31:02Speaker 3: talking about prep. Yeah. What are they, you know? So
- 31:04Speaker 3: I'm like teaching them what about trans terms. It's like crazy.
- 31:07Speaker 3: They don't know. I barely know. This is not good.
- 31:09Speaker 3: We're not learning. I was bombing so bad I just
- 31:11Speaker 3: started doing crowd work with old people. I'm like, what
- 31:13Speaker 3: medication are you on? You know, I'm just like, what
- 31:15Speaker 3: blood thinners you got going on? But then they probably
- 31:17Speaker 3: loved that. Yeah, they did. They couldn't hear. They thought
- 31:20Speaker 3: I was probably Ellen. Who cares? It's fine. Yeah, but
- 31:24Speaker 3: stuff like that. How do you feel about Ellen?
- 31:25Speaker 4: Was she someone that you enjoyed the comedy of or
- 31:28Speaker 4: that you like connected with at all as a comedian?
- 31:32Speaker 3: No. Do you think anybody's connected with Ellen? No offense.
- 31:35Speaker 3: Does she allow connection? I liked her here and now,
- 31:38Speaker 3: that first, I think it was like an HBO after
- 31:39Speaker 3: she came back. When she did the God, talking to God.
- 31:42Speaker 3: She did.
- 31:43Speaker 4: I thought her style was like, like I remember the
- 31:46Speaker 4: first time I saw her, I had just started doing
- 31:49Speaker 4: stand-up and I was like walking around UCLA and it
- 31:51Speaker 4: was like, winner of the da-da-da-da, like Ellen, and I'm
- 31:54Speaker 4: like- I'm like, ooh, you know, there were so few
- 31:57Speaker 4: women doing stand-up TV back then that I was like,
- 31:59Speaker 4: who's this pretty blonde girl?
- 32:01Speaker 3: Like, how did she win? Da-da-da. I didn't know anything
- 32:04Speaker 3: about her.
- 32:04Speaker 4: And then when I started to see her stuff, I'm like, oh, her,
- 32:08Speaker 4: you know, take, her cadence is so funny.
- 32:10Speaker 3: Yeah. And then... You know, and then she had her
- 32:13Speaker 3: first sitcom. Yeah.
- 32:15Speaker 4: And then they changed it to, no, the first sitcom
- 32:17Speaker 4: was like just these friends of mine.
- 32:19Speaker 3: Oh. And that didn't work.
- 32:21Speaker 4: It was going to be just like, there was a
- 32:22Speaker 4: time when everybody was trying to do friends.
- 32:25Speaker 5: Right.
- 32:25Speaker 4: So they're just like, let's just put everybody and they
- 32:27Speaker 4: have their quirky friends and they have their horny guy
- 32:29Speaker 4: friend and they have their, you know, needy girlfriend. And
- 32:33Speaker 4: so she was playing straight, she was straight. Then they
- 32:36Speaker 4: got rid of that and they called it Ellen.
- 32:37Speaker 3: Okay.
- 32:38Speaker 4: And then she had her friends. And then by, like,
- 32:40Speaker 4: the fourth season was her coming out.
- 32:43Speaker 3: I'm gay. Yeah. I'm gay. Yeah. Do you do impressions? Yeah,
- 32:48Speaker 3: I don't do a lot. I like Britney Spears is
- 32:50Speaker 3: really fun to do. Yeah. It's just a quick, like,
- 32:53Speaker 3: you know, like, whoa, holy shit. Like, I just like
- 32:56Speaker 3: doing that real quick. Gypsy Rose is very fun to impersonate.
- 32:59Speaker 3: Let me see that. You know, when she'd be like, Ryan! Like,
- 33:02Speaker 3: she's just crazy online. The D's on fire! She's a
- 33:07Speaker 3: crazy character. What do you think about her trajectory? Oh
- 33:10Speaker 3: my God, I love it. I'm team gyps. I'm team gyps.
- 33:14Speaker 3: She's fun. She's fun. I love her.
- 33:17Speaker 4: She's like calling the paparazzi and wearing like a 2000
- 33:20Speaker 4: Hervé dress walking around.
- 33:22Speaker 3: Her daughter's name is insane. Aurora Urker. If that kid
- 33:26Speaker 3: has a speech impediment, she's fucked. She'll be like, awoka. Like,
- 33:30Speaker 3: that sucks.
- 33:31Speaker 4: What do you think about her plastic surgery glow up
- 33:33Speaker 4: and her wigs?
- 33:34Speaker 3: I love it. I hope they give her, they should
- 33:36Speaker 3: make her a housewife soon. I mean, I would love.
- 33:38Speaker 3: I don't think enough people watched her reality show. She
- 33:41Speaker 3: had one? Yeah. See, I didn't even watch it. You're
- 33:42Speaker 3: not even that good of a fan.
- 33:44Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't even, I didn't know. But it was
- 33:46Speaker 4: probably like a serious tone. Well, the first husband was
- 33:48Speaker 4: the male version of her mother. Remember how much they
- 33:50Speaker 4: looked alike?
- 33:51Speaker 3: Yes. The big hefty guy. So then once all the
- 33:53Speaker 3: fun ended from her going, getting out of prison. Yeah.
- 33:57Speaker 4: You know, and she stopped doing all her interviews. Then
- 33:59Speaker 4: they were back in like Louisiana. And just going to, like, whatever.
- 34:03Speaker 3: No, we need to make her glamorous. Put her in
- 34:05Speaker 3: fucking Beverly Hills.
- 34:06Speaker 4: Yeah, she didn't like that. So then she got rid
- 34:08Speaker 4: of him, and she got back with the old boyfriend.
- 34:10Speaker 3: That she met in prison. Yeah. And then they had
- 34:13Speaker 3: the baby, and then they broke up. Aurora. And now
- 34:16Speaker 3: I think she's probably, like, on OnlyFans or whatever. She's
- 34:18Speaker 3: got to be on OF. And she got a nose job.
- 34:21Speaker 3: She did?
- 34:21Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 34:22Speaker 3: God, I really have fallen off the gypsy rose train.
- 34:23Speaker 3: She got a nose job. I think everyone kind of has.
- 34:26Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, because it's like... How long can it last? Yeah,
- 34:28Speaker 3: there's got to be something more... We need something else.
- 34:31Speaker 3: Go on OnlyFans. You'll do fine.
- 34:34Speaker 4: There's enough people that still like probably would think that
- 34:37Speaker 4: was interesting or whatever.
- 34:39Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 34:39Speaker 3: With a voice like that, though, it's like any guy
- 34:41Speaker 3: that's into that, it's a little creepy, right? That little
- 34:43Speaker 3: baby voice? It's a little creepy.
- 34:45Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 34:46Speaker 4: It's really interesting that people, do you remember when everyone
- 34:48Speaker 4: realized that Paris had a fake voice?
- 34:50Speaker 3: Yes. I always knew that deep bitch was in there.
- 34:53Speaker 3: Like that, hey, how you doing? That's her real voice.
- 34:55Speaker 4: I think voices are so interesting because I always said-
- 34:57Speaker 4: She sold it. Like a little kid that has a
- 35:00Speaker 4: scratchy voice will work.
- 35:02Speaker 3: Yeah. Like Lindsay Lohan, whatever. Yeah, they're the raspy voiced ones.
- 35:06Speaker 3: Little girls with scratchy voices.
- 35:08Speaker 4: Also women that have a scratchy lower voice They could
- 35:11Speaker 4: be a hundred pounds and a model and they will
- 35:14Speaker 4: be the lead detective.
- 35:15Speaker 3: Like, are we talking like an Emma, like an Emma
- 35:17Speaker 3: Stone voice? No, like there, this woman named Angie Harmon.
- 35:21Speaker 3: She was on like, yeah, she was always like, yeah,
- 35:24Speaker 3: I'm the detective here. And I'm always like, God, if
- 35:26Speaker 3: I had a scratchy voice, I think I'd work more.
- 35:28Speaker 3: And then be a detective.
- 35:30Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 35:30Speaker 4: And then there's the girls that like. Yeah, like play
- 35:34Speaker 4: a character to get a guide.
- 35:35Speaker 3: I love it. I love that Paris did that. She's smart. Yeah,
- 35:38Speaker 3: she was always like... It's hot. It's hot, yeah. It's hot, yeah.
- 35:42Speaker 3: And then she'd be like, can I get a coffee? Yeah,
- 35:44Speaker 3: I love that. I love that switch. It's great. But
- 35:47Speaker 3: she still kind of does it. She does it, and
- 35:49Speaker 3: I think it's a little weird because it's like, we know, girl.
- 35:51Speaker 3: We know now you're in your mid-40s.
- 35:52Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 35:53Speaker 4: But, I mean.
- 35:57Speaker 3: Also, like, genius successful. No, she's smart. I like her. Like,
- 36:00Speaker 3: and how she, like, figured out everything. Yep. Loved her
- 36:04Speaker 3: and Nicole Richie and, you know. And they had to
- 36:07Speaker 3: go through some shit with, man. Chris Hilton and shit.
- 36:11Speaker 5: I mean.
- 36:11Speaker 3: That's wild. Everyone just, yeah. It was wild. That's insane
- 36:16Speaker 3: that they dealt with that. I know. They handled it. Like,
- 36:20Speaker 3: I just saw a little clip of Hilary Swank. Yeah.
- 36:24Speaker 3: And she was doing, like, a panel.
- 36:26Speaker 4: And this woman asked her and said, I hope you
- 36:30Speaker 4: don't mind me asking this. You know, I hope this
- 36:32Speaker 4: is an OK question. And she's like, yeah.
- 36:34Speaker 3: She goes, I'm curious if you ever.
- 36:36Speaker 4: Saw the episode of The Office where they were debate
- 36:41Speaker 4: talking and debating whether you are an attractive woman or not.
- 36:47Speaker 4: And her answer is weird. Her answer is kind of like, well,
- 36:49Speaker 4: would you ever ask a man that? And I'm like, okay,
- 36:51Speaker 4: so are you mad at the woman? Are you mad
- 36:54Speaker 4: that the writers of.
- 36:55Speaker 3: The Office wrote that?
- 36:58Speaker 4: And she goes, because all the characters I play are beautiful.
- 37:01Speaker 4: And I don't really think that was a good answer.
- 37:03Speaker 4: What I would have wanted to hear is really like, Yeah. Actually,
- 37:07Speaker 4: like give me the juicy scoop. Actually, I turned on
- 37:08Speaker 4: the TV and I love The Office and I watched
- 37:12Speaker 4: it and I was like, I can't believe they're talking
- 37:14Speaker 4: about me, but oh fuck, they're saying I'm ugly, but
- 37:17Speaker 4: I have enough confidence to know I'm not.
- 37:18Speaker 3: I'm fucking gorgeous. Or at least just be like, yeah,
- 37:19Speaker 3: it was so funny. Or I was so hurt.
- 37:22Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 37:22Speaker 3: Like, I just want to want to know what's the real,
- 37:24Speaker 3: what was the real, that was no answer. That's a
- 37:26Speaker 3: PR trend. Tell me what the real thing is.
- 37:28Speaker 4: Cause we've all had those moments where you're like, Are
- 37:32Speaker 4: my feelings hurt or have I gotten to a place
- 37:34Speaker 4: of being a comedian and in this thirst game that like,
- 37:37Speaker 4: thanks for mentioning me.
- 37:38Speaker 3: Right, right, right. Have I gotten to the other side? Right, right.
- 37:41Speaker 3: Because I've gone like that with things.
- 37:43Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 37:43Speaker 3: Have you gone like that?
- 37:44Speaker 4: Like where things would bother you or criticisms bother you
- 37:47Speaker 4: and then you get to the other side or you're
- 37:48Speaker 4: still not on the other side?
- 37:49Speaker 3: No, it never bothered me. I read every comment. I
- 37:52Speaker 3: love it. I love it. It doesn't bother me because like,
- 37:54Speaker 3: you know, especially I deal with online. So it's not
- 37:56Speaker 3: like I'm blogs or Reddit or, you know, it's just
- 37:59Speaker 3: like online comments I'm seeing. And you always click the
- 38:02Speaker 3: profile of somebody who's leaving a shitty comment. It's like
- 38:04Speaker 3: somebody you don't respect.
- 38:05Speaker 7: Right.
- 38:06Speaker 3: How am I going to get hurt by this guy?
- 38:07Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Like if I saw him
- 38:08Speaker 3: in the street, I wouldn't even notice him. So it
- 38:11Speaker 3: doesn't bother me. It makes me laugh a little.
- 38:13Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 38:13Speaker 3: No one's going to be critical of you. That is okay.
- 38:17Speaker 3: Somebody to look up to, probably.
- 38:19Speaker 4: That is more successful, more attractive, or more... It's never
- 38:23Speaker 4: really hot people.
- 38:24Speaker 3: Yeah, or richer. Like, no rich.
- 38:27Speaker 4: super attractive person who's super successful is going to be like,
- 38:30Speaker 4: you know what? I don't think that 30 second video
- 38:33Speaker 4: was that funny.
- 38:34Speaker 3: Yeah. This unfollow.
- 38:35Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 38:35Speaker 3: And I'm going to now spend this time writing this. Yeah.
- 38:39Speaker 3: It's a, it's a miserable person activity.
- 38:41Speaker 2: Right.
- 38:41Speaker 4: And I even think like when there's something, when someone,
- 38:44Speaker 4: when TMZ posts something and you start to just read
- 38:46Speaker 4: the comments out.
- 38:47Speaker 3: Of curiosity and I'm like, this is not, The temperature
- 38:52Speaker 3: of America.
- 38:52Speaker 7: No.
- 38:53Speaker 3: Because America, most people have jobs. Yeah.
- 38:56Speaker 4: And they wouldn't, if they even saw the article, they
- 38:59Speaker 4: wouldn't have time to go and comment. No, this is
- 39:01Speaker 4: unemployed behavior.
- 39:03Speaker 3: Yeah. This is like 45 living with mom behavior, you know?
- 39:06Speaker 4: I always think down in the basement, I always think
- 39:08Speaker 4: they're baby reindeers. Remember the show Baby Reindeer? That's who
- 39:11Speaker 4: it is.
- 39:12Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very like, oh, I miss that show, man.
- 39:15Speaker 3: That was so good. That was a fun one. Baby reindeer.
- 39:19Speaker 3: And then what I learned about Baby Reindeer, which is
- 39:21Speaker 3: the show on Netflix where the guy, based on his
- 39:23Speaker 3: true life, had a crazy female stalker. Skull-ish.
- 39:27Speaker 4: But what was so interesting is when she lost interest
- 39:30Speaker 4: in stalking him for a little bit.
- 39:31Speaker 3: And he got a little bummed. And he got a
- 39:32Speaker 3: little buffed. Yeah, I would be like, come back, stalker.
- 39:35Speaker 3: He was a little sad. There is something flattering about
- 39:40Speaker 3: having a stalker. Scary. Have you had one? But in
- 39:43Speaker 3: the beginning, no. Have you had any, like, none?
- 39:45Speaker 4: Do you have weird fans? I had this one person.
- 39:50Speaker 4: On my Facebook years ago.
- 39:52Speaker 3: Facebook's the one.
- 39:53Speaker 4: That would just write just like the same thing every time,
- 39:58Speaker 4: which is like, I really like your hair. I really
- 40:00Speaker 4: like your hair when you wear it like that.
- 40:02Speaker 3: Well, I basically have always had a side part. This
- 40:05Speaker 3: is my hair for years. So I never changed it.
- 40:06Speaker 3: I wasn't someone.
- 40:07Speaker 4: So I was just like, I don't know if he
- 40:08Speaker 4: cut and pasted it or couldn't remember that he wrote
- 40:10Speaker 4: the same thing the day before.
- 40:11Speaker 3: It was a guy. And some people were like, this
- 40:15Speaker 3: guy's scary. Like you should.
- 40:17Speaker 4: And I'm like, I think that if I was to
- 40:20Speaker 4: block him, that's going to tip him over.
- 40:25Speaker 3: Right now, he's just leaving a comment. Yeah, appease him.
- 40:27Speaker 3: Just let him do his thing. Like, who cares, right? Yeah,
- 40:30Speaker 3: when you piss him off. Yeah. That's when you start seeing,
- 40:32Speaker 3: you know, dead rats in your mailbox or some shit. Right, yeah. Yeah.
- 40:37Speaker 3: I think it's very real, and I think, you know,
- 40:39Speaker 3: it's really scary for some people.
- 40:40Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 40:41Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I think it's good.
- 40:42Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 40:43Speaker 3: I mean, a little a little stalker's fun. Nothing serious.
- 40:47Speaker 3: And so you. OK, so so then you start to
- 40:50Speaker 3: pop off.
- 40:51Speaker 4: You have this big tour coming up.
- 40:52Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. I'm just always on the road. I'm always amazing.
- 40:56Speaker 3: And then I love it. Let's talk about my sister. Kentucky.
- 41:01Speaker 3: Just kidding. You have a gorgeous wedding photo. Yes. Your
- 41:05Speaker 3: wife is stunning. She is. I love her dress. She's beautiful. Yeah.
- 41:08Speaker 3: Great dress. And you're in a really cute suit. Thank you.
- 41:11Speaker 3: Men's Warehouse. I like your satin. Did you really get
- 41:13Speaker 3: a men's? No. No. It's very, it's because it's fitted
- 41:17Speaker 3: and really attractive. Yeah, it is a suit shop. So
- 41:19Speaker 3: how did you meet, tell me a little bit about
- 41:21Speaker 3: your love story. We met on Instagram. Uh-huh. 2021, you know.
- 41:26Speaker 3: So you were already doing your videos. Yeah, she had, yeah, she,
- 41:31Speaker 3: she liked me. She didn't like my comedy. She's, she
- 41:33Speaker 3: wasn't a, she's not like a fan. She liked, she
- 41:36Speaker 3: thought I was hot. Okay. But she thought, she's like,
- 41:38Speaker 3: I didn't, you're fine. Your comedy's fine. You're kind of gross.
- 41:41Speaker 3: So it wasn't like.
- 41:42Speaker 4: So wait.
- 41:43Speaker 3: So she just likes my aesthetic. So she slid into
- 41:45Speaker 3: your DMs. Slid into my DMs. And said what? She said,
- 41:48Speaker 3: marry me. That was the first. That's what she led with.
- 41:50Speaker 3: Talk about manifesting. Talk about the most lesbian story I've
- 41:53Speaker 3: ever heard.
- 41:54Speaker 5: No.
- 41:54Speaker 3: I mean, everyone always says, oh, second date is get
- 41:56Speaker 3: the U-Haul. We'll slide in DMs. Slide in. She was
- 41:59Speaker 3: sending the U-Haul confirmation. And also true manifestation. True manifestation.
- 42:03Speaker 3: I mean, you can say that when you look like that. Yeah.
- 42:05Speaker 3: She's very pretty. You know what I mean? But her
- 42:07Speaker 3: bio on Instagram said UK law. So I thought she
- 42:10Speaker 3: was in like Europe. Yeah. I thought she was British.
- 42:12Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 42:12Speaker 3: I was like, this is fun. Talk to a British lady. Cheerio. Yeah.
- 42:15Speaker 3: And then I realized I learned that UK is University
- 42:18Speaker 3: of Kentucky, which I did not know that existed. Okay.
- 42:21Speaker 3: So then I was like, oh no, is she going
- 42:22Speaker 3: to sound like a banjo? Okay. You know that accent? Yeah.
- 42:26Speaker 3: But she's got a nice little twang. It's not too,
- 42:28Speaker 3: not too thick. Thank God. That'd be a deal breaker
- 42:31Speaker 3: if she sounded like a banjo.
- 42:32Speaker 4: Okay, so how far do you go from marry me
- 42:33Speaker 4: on DM to like actually talking on a phone, past text,
- 42:37Speaker 4: talking on a phone or FaceTiming?
- 42:39Speaker 3: Like a week in. Okay. A week of DMing maybe.
- 42:42Speaker 3: I was in Austin at the time. Okay. And so, yeah,
- 42:46Speaker 3: we would FaceTime. Living in Austin? Living in Austin, yeah.
- 42:48Speaker 3: And doing stand-up, doing your thing. Doing stand-up, yep.
- 42:51Speaker 4: And at this point, your career is like on a
- 42:53Speaker 4: nice rise. Yeah, and I wanted to start headlining. I
- 42:56Speaker 4: wasn't headlining yet.
- 42:57Speaker 5: Okay.
- 42:57Speaker 3: So I was in Austin. Okay.
- 42:59Speaker 4: And what was your relationship status prior? Had you had
- 43:03Speaker 4: serious relationships with women?
- 43:04Speaker 3: Kind of. I would like date somebody for six months,
- 43:06Speaker 3: maybe three weeks, maybe a year. Did you have to
- 43:09Speaker 3: do like an.
- 43:09Speaker 4: Official coming out party or tell your parents or anything?
- 43:14Speaker 3: No, I was second in line of the gays.
- 43:16Speaker 1: Okay.
- 43:16Speaker 3: We're all gay. I don't think any of us came out.
- 43:18Speaker 3: I think they were like, yeah, we know. The siblings,
- 43:20Speaker 3: you mean? Yeah, me and the siblings. Nobody really... So
- 43:23Speaker 3: your oldest sibling is a girl too? Yeah, she's 40. Yeah,
- 43:26Speaker 3: she's in her 40s, 45. So she's... 90s lesbian. Okay.
- 43:29Speaker 3: What's the difference between a 90s lesbian? Well, they were
- 43:32Speaker 3: like rare. Like they had to really fight oppression. Like,
- 43:35Speaker 3: you know, when Glee came out, that's when it was
- 43:36Speaker 3: cool to be gay. Remember they were like overturning gay marriage.
- 43:40Speaker 3: Like you could get gay married. Yes. Rosie was on
- 43:42Speaker 3: the steps marrying people left and right. Next up, you know?
- 43:45Speaker 7: Right, right.
- 43:46Speaker 3: Yeah. But like in the 90s, it was like, you know. Well,
- 43:49Speaker 3: that's when Ellen was like, yep, I'm gay. Yeah, remember
- 43:51Speaker 3: when she came out?
- 43:51Speaker 4: She got like banished. Yeah, and then she did kind
- 43:54Speaker 4: of get banished. And then she came back with her
- 43:56Speaker 4: talk show about being nice. Right, which was like, I'd
- 43:58Speaker 4: rather you just be a straight lady. Go somewhere else.
- 44:02Speaker 4: Now you're just a mean gay? You're waterboarding your staff?
- 44:05Speaker 3: What are we doing? And it was crazy. I'd heard
- 44:08Speaker 3: those rumors for years. So by the time it came out,
- 44:10Speaker 3: it was like, yeah, we've. You've known this for, like,
- 44:13Speaker 3: a decade at least.
- 44:14Speaker 4: I've told this story on the show before, but I
- 44:16Speaker 4: just think you'd appreciate it. I know someone who, like,
- 44:21Speaker 4: was trying out for the job to either be a
- 44:23Speaker 4: writer or work on staff something.
- 44:24Speaker 3: Yeah. Okay? Behind the scenes.
- 44:26Speaker 4: And it was, like, their second or third interview in person.
- 44:31Speaker 4: And you know how she would always do, like, the
- 44:33Speaker 4: scaring people and freaking out?
- 44:35Speaker 3: Yes, I hated that.
- 44:35Speaker 4: And if the guest was, like, terrified of frogs, she
- 44:37Speaker 4: would have, like, a frog jump on it.
- 44:39Speaker 1: Yes!
- 44:39Speaker 3: That's so mean. It's so fucking mean. It's so mean.
- 44:42Speaker 4: And... So, anyway, the girl is, like, talking to her
- 44:46Speaker 4: or whatever, the candidate, and the candidate, like, looks at
- 44:49Speaker 4: these curtains and, like, sees the Ellen Tender shoes, like.
- 44:52Speaker 3: Behind the curtain. And she's kind of, like— She's giggling. Like,
- 44:56Speaker 3: it's almost like a little kid.
- 44:57Speaker 4: Like, she's like, should I, like, play along that she's
- 45:00Speaker 4: going to, like, pop out?
- 45:03Speaker 3: In an interview?
- 45:04Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 45:04Speaker 3: In an interview. This is what was told to me.
- 45:06Speaker 3: I did not live it. I'm just telling you. So
- 45:09Speaker 3: just for legal reasons. Allegedly. Allegedly.
- 45:12Speaker 4: And so then she, you know, had to like act
- 45:15Speaker 4: scared and stuff because she wanted the job.
- 45:18Speaker 3: Oh, my God. She had to, yeah, scare herself into
- 45:20Speaker 3: getting the job. Oh, no. Oh, you're so good. Like
- 45:24Speaker 3: your four-year-old's hiding. Where is Brandon?
- 45:26Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 45:27Speaker 3: That's so weird. And it wasn't filmed. It was just
- 45:29Speaker 3: for Ellen's enjoyment. No, it was just, yeah, like her kink. God,
- 45:34Speaker 3: that is so weird. I know. Remember when she, like,
- 45:36Speaker 3: hid behind a door and popped out at Taylor Swift?
- 45:39Speaker 3: And she almost had a heart attack at, like, 25?
- 45:40Speaker 3: That's weird. It's just weird shit, man. You know, honestly,
- 45:44Speaker 3: this is what women do. Remember when she was best
- 45:45Speaker 3: friends with P.
- 45:46Speaker 6: Diddy?
- 45:46Speaker 3: Right. And she's like, when are we going to have
- 45:48Speaker 3: a pizza party? How many talk of pizza? I know.
- 45:51Speaker 3: I'm like, tone it down. It's weird, though. I mean, like,
- 45:56Speaker 3: you know, men in charge do weird stuff with women
- 45:58Speaker 3: and then women in charge just scare celebrities, I guess.
- 46:01Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, that's the worst. And treat
- 46:03Speaker 3: their staff like shit. Wild.
- 46:05Speaker 2: Okay.
- 46:06Speaker 3: So getting back. So you meet. Where were we? Yeah.
- 46:08Speaker 3: You're meeting your girlfriend.
- 46:09Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 46:10Speaker 3: So we've been talking for a few months. Yeah. And
- 46:12Speaker 3: then we met up in Nashville. That's hot. Yep. New
- 46:16Speaker 3: Year's Eve, hang out in Nashville. For your first date
- 46:18Speaker 3: was New Year's Eve in Nashville? New Year's Eve weekend.
- 46:20Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 46:21Speaker 3: We like hung out for three days in like an Airbnb.
- 46:23Speaker 3: How fun was that? It was great.
- 46:24Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 46:24Speaker 3: Cause I was like, I was like, I think she's amazing.
- 46:27Speaker 3: You just gotta be sure when you meet him. Yeah.
- 46:29Speaker 3: There's not some weird mole or something, you know, that
- 46:31Speaker 3: you're not seeing. She was great. And then we started
- 46:34Speaker 3: dating from there. And then I finally moved to Kentucky
- 46:37Speaker 3: cause she couldn't move. She's in law school. Oh, she's
- 46:39Speaker 3: in law school. Yeah. She was in law school. So I,
- 46:42Speaker 3: you know. And now she's a full lawyer. Now she's
- 46:44Speaker 3: a lawyer.
- 46:44Speaker 2: Yep.
- 46:44Speaker 3: General counsel. General counsel. Shout out. That's a big deal,
- 46:48Speaker 3: I guess. Well, my sister's a lawyer, so it's hard.
- 46:51Speaker 3: I feel your pain, sister. It's really hard. It's great
- 46:53Speaker 3: for contracts. Yeah, yeah. And so... Yeah, so now we've
- 46:57Speaker 3: been in Kentucky since I moved there in 2022. It
- 47:00Speaker 3: looked like you had kind of a big wedding. Yeah,
- 47:03Speaker 3: it was low-key. It was like 80 people. I wasn't
- 47:05Speaker 3: trying to feed random relatives. And how is her family?
- 47:08Speaker 3: Did they help? They're great. Who paid for the wedding? Split.
- 47:12Speaker 3: Two women, you just go half in. And the parents
- 47:14Speaker 3: didn't pay? No, parents helped out. Oh, okay. Parents, five
- 47:17Speaker 3: bucks each side covered my suit. Yeah, the parents helped out.
- 47:22Speaker 3: You know, it was all very evenly split. Did you
- 47:24Speaker 3: have bridesmaids? No, neither of us did. It was very non-traditional.
- 47:29Speaker 3: We didn't do public vows. I don't want to look
- 47:33Speaker 3: over and see my uncle as I'm professing my love
- 47:36Speaker 3: to my wife. You didn't?
- 47:37Speaker 4: No.
- 47:37Speaker 3: So how do you do it without any vows? You
- 47:40Speaker 3: have the person who married us. Oh, you just did
- 47:41Speaker 3: the traditional vows. Yeah.
- 47:43Speaker 4: You're saying you didn't write like, Well, I will always
- 47:46Speaker 4: make you a milkshake.
- 47:47Speaker 3: You know how you like your coffee in the morning.
- 47:49Speaker 3: I got you, girl. Yeah, it was none of that. No,
- 47:51Speaker 3: we did the traditional ones, too.
- 47:53Speaker 1: You did?
- 47:53Speaker 3: Yeah. But just like the, do you promise to not
- 47:56Speaker 3: fuck her over? Yeah, we got married in the Catholic
- 47:57Speaker 3: church and it was just the, it was a long ass.
- 48:00Speaker 3: Abs on Jesus. It was a long marriage, huh? Oh,
- 48:02Speaker 3: you had the abs on Jesus on the wall.
- 48:04Speaker 4: And then, you know, went over to Mary and like
- 48:06Speaker 4: gave flowers and all that.
- 48:07Speaker 3: You did all that? We did all that. I have
- 48:09Speaker 3: to do my first Catholic wedding this fall. We attend.
- 48:12Speaker 5: Yes.
- 48:13Speaker 3: Attend. Yeah. I'm not officiating. And have you asked them,
- 48:16Speaker 3: is it a full mass? I think it is. It's
- 48:18Speaker 3: an ordeal.
- 48:19Speaker 4: Like there was a time where they said, you can,
- 48:22Speaker 4: you don't have to do full mass. We can do
- 48:24Speaker 4: it in 30 minutes. And my mom was like, it
- 48:25Speaker 4: doesn't count. So we did full mass. And it was
- 48:29Speaker 4: air conditioned church, but it was a solid hour and
- 48:32Speaker 4: a half.
- 48:33Speaker 3: Hour and a half. An hour. And you're standing up there?
- 48:36Speaker 4: I still want to apologize to like everybody. Well, I,
- 48:39Speaker 4: you know, I'm an actress.
- 48:41Speaker 3: I'm a comedian. I liked being on stage. Yeah, it
- 48:43Speaker 3: was fine for you. I was scared shitless.
- 48:46Speaker 4: I was like, it was weird because I always as
- 48:48Speaker 4: a kid was like, why would someone be nervous on
- 48:50Speaker 4: their wedding day?
- 48:51Speaker 3: Like you're not performing. Like that's not a big deal.
- 48:53Speaker 3: But then right when I was about to walk down,
- 48:56Speaker 3: I was like, this is so weird. It's so weird.
- 48:59Speaker 3: It's because you get one shot. It kind of feels
- 49:01Speaker 3: like an audition or something.
- 49:02Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 49:02Speaker 3: You're like one shot. I have to be serious. I'm
- 49:04Speaker 3: never serious.
- 49:05Speaker 4: And then I had like the full like veil and everything.
- 49:08Speaker 4: And right before I went down, I put the thing over.
- 49:11Speaker 4: And then my sister was like, oh, my God. I
- 49:15Speaker 4: don't think you should do that. Like you look so pretty,
- 49:17Speaker 4: like just do it. And I go, oh, I just
- 49:19Speaker 4: thought I would do this. And that was like the
- 49:22Speaker 4: one thing that my husband later on said, oh, I
- 49:24Speaker 4: was kind of disappointed. I was like looking forward to
- 49:26Speaker 4: doing that whole thing.
- 49:27Speaker 3: And I was like, the wedding's ruined. The day's ruined.
- 49:30Speaker 3: Like the one thing. I know. I was like, oh
- 49:33Speaker 3: my God, you didn't care about anything. You could have
- 49:35Speaker 3: just told me that you were like excited about a veil.
- 49:37Speaker 3: Like I would have done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll
- 49:39Speaker 3: never get that chance back. Have you done the vow renewal?
- 49:42Speaker 3: Is that a thing that people do?
- 49:43Speaker 1: We did.
- 49:43Speaker 3: We did once.
- 49:44Speaker 4: In Cabo, like we were on a Cabo trip with
- 49:47Speaker 4: some people and we were at a, and we all,
- 49:50Speaker 4: there were four couples.
- 49:51Speaker 2: Fun.
- 49:51Speaker 3: We all did it.
- 49:52Speaker 4: One couple did get divorced, but we, the other three
- 49:54Speaker 4: couples are still together.
- 49:55Speaker 3: And then I, like the only way.
- 49:58Speaker 4: I would do it is if I was on Real
- 49:59Speaker 4: Housewives and someone was paying for it. They always do
- 50:01Speaker 4: it at a, yeah, they always do it. Cause I'm
- 50:03Speaker 4: deep in OC right now. So you're a late in life,
- 50:06Speaker 4: real housewives watcher, which I think.
- 50:09Speaker 3: Is a gift. I know, because I get to binge.
- 50:10Speaker 4: So many times people are like, if I could start
- 50:12Speaker 4: all over again. And people say, Heather, I'm about to start.
- 50:16Speaker 3: Tell me. Give me some guidance.
- 50:19Speaker 4: And I would say OC and New York.
- 50:22Speaker 3: Yeah. And Beverly Hills. Yeah, I haven't done Beverly yet. No.
- 50:27Speaker 4: Oh, Atlanta too is really good. Atlanta from the very beginning.
- 50:31Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 50:32Speaker 4: All of them from the very beginning. If you've never watched...
- 50:34Speaker 4: OC was rough in the beginning.
- 50:36Speaker 3: The first... Because it was the first one. So it's
- 50:38Speaker 3: a little... It's weird.
- 50:39Speaker 4: It was truly more like a gory documentary. And they
- 50:44Speaker 4: weren't like getting into like really integrating with each other.
- 50:48Speaker 3: Once Tamra got there and started stirring up shit. Then
- 50:50Speaker 3: it was like about their relationships with the other women. Yeah.
- 50:53Speaker 3: At that time, it was just watching these five families
- 50:56Speaker 3: or whatever. Which is still fascinating. Yes. I still liked it.
- 50:58Speaker 3: 2006 in fucking Laguna Beach or wherever they are. And
- 51:02Speaker 3: there's something like calming about it. Yeah. Like from that
- 51:05Speaker 3: era because you're watching it and you're remembering your life.
- 51:07Speaker 3: The Skytops. Yes, Skytops. I remember the crash of 2008.
- 51:11Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 51:11Speaker 3: There's something like The fraud that was bubbling underneath an OC.
- 51:16Speaker 3: Just everybody, house of cards. Very, very few people had
- 51:20Speaker 3: actual money. It was all just once that economy crashed,
- 51:22Speaker 3: you just saw. Lynn Curtin, crazy. Do you remember Lynn Curtin?
- 51:26Speaker 3: I know Lynn Curtin. She's wonderful. I have a Lynn
- 51:28Speaker 3: Curtin cuff. Oh, you do?
- 51:32Speaker 4: Do you know where Lynn Curtin's daughter is today?
- 51:36Speaker 2: Yes.
- 51:36Speaker 3: It makes me so sad. I saw the video of her, like,
- 51:39Speaker 3: no fingers. Failed. She lost her fingers, too. She lost
- 51:44Speaker 3: two things. She lost two things to addiction. But they're
- 51:48Speaker 3: like this. So she's just always rocking out. I felt
- 51:52Speaker 3: so bad. I think my daughter's doing okay.
- 51:53Speaker 4: And I feel so bad for Lynn because, I mean,
- 51:55Speaker 4: of course she is not, when your kid is in
- 51:57Speaker 4: that situation, it's not like you can say, come home.
- 52:00Speaker 4: They don't want to come home because you won't allow
- 52:02Speaker 4: them to do drugs at home.
- 52:04Speaker 3: It's a very tough love office situation. Yeah, it's really rough.
- 52:06Speaker 3: And I think that guy just dipped. I don't know
- 52:07Speaker 3: where Frank, I don't know where the hell Frank went.
- 52:10Speaker 3: Last I was seeing on Reddit, it was like, who
- 52:12Speaker 3: knows where he is? Cabo? Yeah, so this old OC man.
- 52:17Speaker 3: So you're not currently watching anything? No, I am. I'm
- 52:20Speaker 3: deep in OC. I'm in like season 12 and I
- 52:23Speaker 3: started Rhode Island.
- 52:24Speaker 4: So you're fresh on Rhode Island. And what do you
- 52:26Speaker 4: think of Rhode Island?
- 52:27Speaker 3: I think it's fun. I'm getting there. I was surprised
- 52:30Speaker 3: at the accents. I didn't realize Rhode Island had those accents. Oh,
- 52:32Speaker 3: that one Alicia girl. I know. She's the strongest. It's
- 52:35Speaker 3: like Massachusetts kind of and also Jersey. I don't know
- 52:38Speaker 3: what it is. I didn't realize. I have family in
- 52:39Speaker 3: Rhode Island, but they're not from there. And I'm like, oh,
- 52:42Speaker 3: I didn't realize they might have that Northeastern like family
- 52:44Speaker 3: guy accent. And I mean, I'm dying over this podiatrist
- 52:48Speaker 3: who's cheating. I know.
- 52:49Speaker 4: I guess the podiatrist owns a medispa and the girl
- 52:53Speaker 4: he's having the affair with is the esthetician. And she's like,
- 52:57Speaker 4: In real time, like posting, they are like fucking while
- 53:01Speaker 4: they're filming the show. And the other cast members like,
- 53:05Speaker 4: she just posted that they were together while he said
- 53:07Speaker 4: he had to go visit his sick mother.
- 53:08Speaker 3: Right, right, right. It is like amazing. It's kooky. And
- 53:11Speaker 3: they all really know each other, which I really like.
- 53:13Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 53:13Speaker 3: Like they're very, they grew up together, most of them.
- 53:16Speaker 3: It's very interesting, that kind of dynamic. Because sometimes you're like,
- 53:20Speaker 3: these women don't hang out. And a lot of them don't. Yeah,
- 53:24Speaker 3: now they probably do. So you're not on current Beverly Hills. No,
- 53:27Speaker 3: I haven't started at all. Yeah. I can't wait to
- 53:30Speaker 3: get to Kim Richards. Oh, my God.
- 53:33Speaker 4: There is a moment when Kim Richards, who's kooky, I
- 53:37Speaker 4: don't know if you've ever seen this clip, is making
- 53:40Speaker 4: her famous chicken salad to serve the kids that are
- 53:44Speaker 4: coming over for prom pictures later that night.
- 53:46Speaker 3: Okay. And she's, you know, on... There's pills? There's pills.
- 53:51Speaker 3: I can't know.
- 53:51Speaker 4: Kim Richards' life is so juicy.
- 53:55Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 53:55Speaker 4: Like, if someone said, what do you want for your birthday?
- 54:00Speaker 4: I would say, I want to wake up and find
- 54:03Speaker 4: out that on my birthday, June 14th, there is a
- 54:07Speaker 4: documentary or a scripted show on Kim Richards' life.
- 54:11Speaker 3: Can we get it? I know. She's a child actor, right?
- 54:15Speaker 3: Child actor. Yep.
- 54:17Speaker 4: And then got, and really the mother, Kathy- Was one
- 54:21Speaker 4: of those mothers that was all about getting her daughters
- 54:25Speaker 4: married to the richest men available in L.A.
- 54:28Speaker 3: Okay.
- 54:29Speaker 4: So she sought out, like, the old money in L.A.,
- 54:32Speaker 4: which there— I never even knew old money in L.A. existed
- 54:35Speaker 4: because I grew up in the Valley. But she— they' re in
- 54:38Speaker 4: Beverly Hills, so they found— you know, got her to
- 54:42Speaker 4: date this one guy.
- 54:43Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 54:43Speaker 4: I'm thinking of all the different, so married a really
- 54:46Speaker 4: rich guy, had like one child or something, and then
- 54:50Speaker 4: broke up with him and like married another really rich family, Davies.
- 54:55Speaker 4: I can't remember all these different, and then like left
- 54:58Speaker 4: it or was dating him, but then like married his brother.
- 55:01Speaker 4: Then she had another boyfriend that was the love of
- 55:03Speaker 4: her life who got shot in front.
- 55:05Speaker 3: Of Brent's deli. Oh no. Oh, shit. But he was
- 55:09Speaker 3: involved in a Ponzi scheme. Oh, no.
- 55:12Speaker 4: And then I found out on a Cabo trip with
- 55:16Speaker 4: a friend of mine, the real person that shot him,
- 55:18Speaker 4: and it's not part of the Ponzi scheme.
- 55:20Speaker 3: Oh, no. And then there was... Jesus. Write a book, Kim.
- 55:24Speaker 4: And then she had this other guy. And then she
- 55:27Speaker 4: has like four kids. But then she had her alcohol
- 55:30Speaker 4: struggles and her financial struggles. And right now she and
- 55:35Speaker 4: Kyle are like suing each other because she was like
- 55:37Speaker 4: living in a condo. And then my favorite part is
- 55:41Speaker 4: she's living in this rental in Westlake Village. And this
- 55:45Speaker 4: very unattractive guy, she meets in her mailbox. And that
- 55:48Speaker 4: becomes her boyfriend.
- 55:49Speaker 7: Right.
- 55:50Speaker 4: And Brandi Glanville is like, he looks like a, oh God,
- 55:56Speaker 4: this name, I can't remember.
- 55:57Speaker 3: Baltese Mastiff, whatever. There's a dog. Yeah, yeah. What is
- 56:01Speaker 3: the name of that dog? A Mastiff? Yes. Yeah. That dog.
- 56:04Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 56:05Speaker 3: And he really did.
- 56:06Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 56:07Speaker 3: And it's on the show. Oh, really?
- 56:09Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 56:09Speaker 4: And then she's like, you know, 48 at the time.
- 56:12Speaker 4: And she sees Kyle at Vanderpump Stadium. uh that you
- 56:16Speaker 4: know her banner pump restaurant and she's like i'm gonna
- 56:19Speaker 4: have another baby yes this.
- 56:21Speaker 3: Is the audio i was like i'm gonna have another
- 56:23Speaker 3: baby yeah.
- 56:24Speaker 4: Kim yeah she's like kim no you're not you know
- 56:28Speaker 4: you're right oh my god and she's like i've done
- 56:30Speaker 4: so much i've done so much for you and i
- 56:33Speaker 4: and there is no better time and you she's a
- 56:36Speaker 4: memoir you're gonna get to watch that Yeah, I get
- 56:39Speaker 4: to take.
- 56:39Speaker 3: It from the start. It's one of the last few
- 56:42Speaker 3: because I'm putting off Jersey, too. But when she makes
- 56:44Speaker 3: the chicken salad, she mixes it with her raw hands.
- 56:46Speaker 3: Of course. Raw chicken hands.
- 56:49Speaker 4: And, like, her daughter's getting her hair done, and in
- 56:51Speaker 4: the back, the camera zooms into her being like, this
- 56:54Speaker 4: is just, this is my favorite chicken salad.
- 56:57Speaker 3: This is my first chicken salad. And she seems fun.
- 57:00Speaker 3: I feel bad for her. That makes sense that she
- 57:03Speaker 3: maybe turns to drugs and alcohol. I would, too. I
- 57:06Speaker 3: hope she gets better, but I think in the meantime.
- 57:08Speaker 3: It's rough.
- 57:09Speaker 4: Bravo, Peacock, Netflix, do me a favor.
- 57:15Speaker 3: There is so much there. I know.
- 57:17Speaker 4: What she should do... Well, does she come in and
- 57:19Speaker 4: out of Beverly Hills? This is what she needs to do,
- 57:21Speaker 4: Kim Richards.
- 57:22Speaker 3: You need to... do it yourself. Say, I'm going to
- 57:25Speaker 3: tell you how my whole story, you can collect all
- 57:27Speaker 3: the photos. You're going to tell the whole story.
- 57:29Speaker 4: Cause I have such a juicy life story, but I'm
- 57:31Speaker 4: going to make money on it. Yeah. I, I don't
- 57:34Speaker 4: care how bad it looks. I don't, I, cause I
- 57:36Speaker 4: want it to be a huge hit. Yeah.
- 57:38Speaker 3: But she's not going to be able to do that
- 57:40Speaker 3: until she's well.
- 57:41Speaker 4: What's the narrative around her? Do people root for her? Yeah,
- 57:44Speaker 4: because it's so entertaining. And she really was the child.
- 57:48Speaker 4: So like Kathy worked a little bit. She was from
- 57:52Speaker 4: a different father. Then she had Kyle and Kim, who
- 57:56Speaker 4: was a couple of years older, with this other guy.
- 57:59Speaker 4: So Kathy was like modeling and stuff. And then she
- 58:03Speaker 4: got married to Hilton really young. But then it was
- 58:06Speaker 4: Kim that really worked all the time. And it was
- 58:10Speaker 4: Kim who was like basically, you know, helping to support
- 58:14Speaker 4: the whole family.
- 58:15Speaker 3: And Kyle worked too, but like Kim. She got the
- 58:17Speaker 3: brunt of it.
- 58:17Speaker 4: And then, and then, so then I think when Kyle
- 58:22Speaker 4: became like the bigger star on The Real Housewives of
- 58:25Speaker 4: Beverly Hills, I think there was this like little thing
- 58:29Speaker 4: like I, I'm the star. Yeah. And did you ever
- 58:32Speaker 4: see the very famous movie, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
- 58:34Speaker 3: No. No, I want to see it though.
- 58:36Speaker 5: I do.
- 58:37Speaker 4: I feel like there's a very similar storyline of like
- 58:40Speaker 4: two sisters and one was a child star, but then
- 58:43Speaker 4: one was the more successful adult star.
- 58:46Speaker 3: One worked their ass off and then one kind of.
- 58:48Speaker 4: As a kid, but then didn't, wasn't as together because
- 58:51Speaker 4: they were a child actor.
- 58:52Speaker 6: Yes.
- 58:52Speaker 4: They probably are a little fucked up now. And the
- 58:54Speaker 4: other one who really wasn't a child actor is very
- 58:58Speaker 4: level headed, successful, which is Kyle.
- 59:00Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. Kyle might be, well, she'd never
- 59:04Speaker 3: come out. Late in life, Les. Yeah, what's going on?
- 59:08Speaker 3: Or a little bye-bye? What's going on there? she's like
- 59:10Speaker 3: a girlfriend.
- 59:10Speaker 4: Way i'm gonna make you love me you don't know
- 59:13Speaker 4: about morgan wade what's her is that a woman yeah
- 59:16Speaker 4: you don't know about morgan wade no is it country
- 59:17Speaker 4: music listen this is such a good lesbian story i
- 59:21Speaker 4: i I don't care that you are behind on Housewives,
- 59:24Speaker 4: but you need to be up on lesbian Housewives.
- 59:25Speaker 3: No, I like being spoiled. I like to know, yeah. Okay.
- 59:28Speaker 3: There's not many. There's more and more every day.
- 59:31Speaker 7: Ramona?
- 59:32Speaker 3: Do you know Portia? Have you watched Atlanta? Oh, yeah. Portia.
- 59:35Speaker 3: She's with a stud now. Yeah. But, you know, she's just,
- 59:39Speaker 3: I don't know if I believe.
- 59:40Speaker 4: No, she said, she goes, I always liked girls.
- 59:44Speaker 3: I had a little girlfriend when we were in first grade. Yeah.
- 59:48Speaker 4: She was on my friend, Carlos King show. And she
- 59:49Speaker 4: said like, we used to kick, kiss each other by
- 59:51Speaker 4: the tire. And I always kind of liked that. I
- 59:53Speaker 4: think she was like one of those girls that was
- 59:55Speaker 4: married to dudes.
- 59:56Speaker 3: Cordell was pretty feminine. What Cordell?
- 59:59Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 1:00:00Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Cordell always had a rumors of being gay. Allegedly.
- 1:00:04Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:00:05Speaker 3: He's a little gay guy. Yeah. She was his doll.
- 1:00:08Speaker 3: You know what I mean? He just got to dress
- 1:00:09Speaker 3: her up and control her. Yeah. I remember it was like,
- 1:00:12Speaker 3: and she didn't get pregnant with him. No. Cause you
- 1:00:15Speaker 3: gotta fuck. You know what I mean? I'm just saying. Yeah,
- 1:00:21Speaker 3: so that's fun. She's dating a woman. That's one gay.
- 1:00:25Speaker 3: One gay-ish housewife. A lot of bisexuality. It's nice. Yeah. Kyle,
- 1:00:28Speaker 3: maybe a little bi.
- 1:00:30Speaker 4: Yeah, but she's like unapologetic and great and happy and
- 1:00:34Speaker 4: like so.
- 1:00:34Speaker 3: Fun to watch. She's funny, too. She's so fun to watch.
- 1:00:36Speaker 3: And so gorgeous. Yeah.
- 1:00:38Speaker 4: But Kyle, it's been this tiptoe thing where she put
- 1:00:42Speaker 4: it out there. She brought her around. She did this
- 1:00:45Speaker 4: sexy music video with Morgan.
- 1:00:47Speaker 3: Oh, is this a country singer? Yeah, she's very pretty.
- 1:00:50Speaker 3: She's very tattooed. Okay. And then she brought her on
- 1:00:55Speaker 3: the show.
- 1:00:56Speaker 5: Oh.
- 1:00:56Speaker 3: Everyone was made aware of she and her music, which
- 1:00:59Speaker 3: she's talented.
- 1:01:01Speaker 4: And then it was, then Kyle went and told all
- 1:01:05Speaker 4: her castmates, Don't bring up Morgan. She doesn't want to
- 1:01:09Speaker 4: be talked about on the show anymore. And I was like, oh,
- 1:01:11Speaker 4: this is like a Matt Rife. I don't like my
- 1:01:14Speaker 4: female fans anymore.
- 1:01:15Speaker 3: I don't want the middle-aged, white, straight, housewife audience.
- 1:01:19Speaker 4: I want real country or real, like, you know, tattooed, lesbian,
- 1:01:23Speaker 4: edgy people to like me.
- 1:01:24Speaker 3: Right, right, right.
- 1:01:25Speaker 4: Even though this really helped get you known.
- 1:01:29Speaker 3: Right. So she's like, no, I want privacy.
- 1:01:31Speaker 4: And then Kyle's, like, crying to Erika Jayne, and she's like,
- 1:01:35Speaker 4: I really— I had a relationship with this person who
- 1:01:38Speaker 4: I really loved this person. And this person really loved me,
- 1:01:42Speaker 4: but this person didn't want to be in the public eye.
- 1:01:45Speaker 4: So I had to end it with this person. What
- 1:01:47Speaker 4: should I do, Erica? And then Erica's like, I'd protect
- 1:01:49Speaker 4: that person.
- 1:01:50Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:01:50Speaker 4: I'd protect that person with all my heart. And so
- 1:01:53Speaker 4: she's never, but then she was like, I talked about
- 1:01:56Speaker 4: it with my daughter's I said, you're going to see
- 1:01:59Speaker 4: this in the news, and I don't know how you feel.
- 1:02:01Speaker 4: But she was basically tiptoeing around it because she's like,
- 1:02:03Speaker 4: you're going to see people talking about me possibly being gay.
- 1:02:06Speaker 4: But she never says I'm gay. She never says I
- 1:02:09Speaker 4: have a relationship with a woman. She just is like,
- 1:02:11Speaker 4: I don't know, maybe it'll be Brad, maybe it'll be Angelina.
- 1:02:13Speaker 3: And it's like, okay. Okay. Bisexual queen, pop off.
- 1:02:17Speaker 4: So now Morgan, who wanted privacy, has now just been
- 1:02:22Speaker 4: cast as a bartender in the spinoff of Yellowstone called
- 1:02:24Speaker 4: Dutton Ranch.
- 1:02:25Speaker 2: Girl, okay.
- 1:02:26Speaker 3: And she's starting a podcast. So did she use Kyle?
- 1:02:29Speaker 3: And she's starting a podcast. Of course. The most private
- 1:02:32Speaker 3: thing you can do is start a podcast. Please don't
- 1:02:35Speaker 3: look at me.
- 1:02:35Speaker 5: Subscribe.
- 1:02:36Speaker 3: About your mental health, your most intimate things about yourself. Yeah, great.
- 1:02:40Speaker 3: So did she use Kyle? Is that.
- 1:02:42Speaker 4: No, so Kyle has a house in Nashville and people
- 1:02:44Speaker 4: have seen them hanging out and eating and stuff.
- 1:02:47Speaker 3: Oh, so maybe they were still doing.
- 1:02:49Speaker 4: And then Kyle was going to do a documentary about her.
- 1:02:51Speaker 4: So my theory was always... Maybe they're not a couple.
- 1:02:54Speaker 4: Maybe Kyle is just savvy enough, she is the aunt
- 1:02:58Speaker 4: of Paris Hilton, to use this to get people into
- 1:03:01Speaker 4: Morgan Wade and then maybe she will make her to
- 1:03:04Speaker 4: be the next Carrie Underwood and she would have a
- 1:03:06Speaker 4: stake in that.
- 1:03:07Speaker 3: But that documentary never came out.
- 1:03:10Speaker 4: Yeah, so then maybe not. Maybe they were really bumping around.
- 1:03:12Speaker 4: I think they were romantic, but now they're just friends.
- 1:03:15Speaker 3: Sisters, sisters. But maybe not.
- 1:03:17Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 1:03:17Speaker 3: But also it was a May-December relationship. Right, and that
- 1:03:20Speaker 3: happens in Lesbianville. There's like a 20-year age difference. Oh,
- 1:03:22Speaker 3: 20 years. Morgan Wade is 80. I was always shocked about, no,
- 1:03:27Speaker 3: the other way around. You are joking, right? Yeah. Morgan
- 1:03:31Speaker 3: Wade is like 30. Yeah. And Kyle's like 55. That's fun.
- 1:03:35Speaker 3: That's great.
- 1:03:37Speaker 4: So I do want to ask about that because I
- 1:03:40Speaker 4: was always so like, oh my God, about Holland Taylor
- 1:03:45Speaker 4: and- I.
- 1:03:46Speaker 3: Understand that, but I support it. What's her name? Sarah Paulson. Yes.
- 1:03:50Speaker 4: They've been together now a very long time. But when
- 1:03:52Speaker 4: they first took up, she was already like 70. And
- 1:03:56Speaker 4: Sarah was like barely 40.
- 1:03:57Speaker 3: Yeah. Interesting. That's interesting.
- 1:04:00Speaker 4: I mean, I think that the only ones that are
- 1:04:02Speaker 4: like a 30-year lesbian difference.
- 1:04:07Speaker 3: Happens obviously a lot with gay men. Yeah. I've never seen...
- 1:04:11Speaker 3: a woman in her prime in her forties be like,
- 1:04:13Speaker 3: I want that 70 year old. That's interesting. So that's,
- 1:04:16Speaker 3: that's gotta be real. Yeah. I mean, Holland Taylor's beautiful,
- 1:04:20Speaker 3: but she's 70 or 80. Yeah. It's a lot. Right.
- 1:04:24Speaker 3: It's a lot of, you know, early dinners.
- 1:04:25Speaker 4: I remember people were wondering if, um, Like, I remember
- 1:04:30Speaker 4: just seeing, like, videos that are people giving their theory of,
- 1:04:33Speaker 4: do you watch Hacks?
- 1:04:34Speaker 3: Yeah, love Hacks.
- 1:04:35Speaker 4: If the two leads and Hannah were... That'd be hot.
- 1:04:39Speaker 4: I bet there's some fanfic out there about that. About
- 1:04:41Speaker 4: them having a relationship. Yeah, but isn't Jean Smart banging
- 1:04:44Speaker 4: a dude? She's beautiful. I just think there is just
- 1:04:48Speaker 4: like a mother-daughter love there.
- 1:04:49Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Jean Smart's beautiful. I get it. She is beautiful.
- 1:04:52Speaker 3: I know. I'm like, I get it.
- 1:04:54Speaker 4: Yeah, and Hannah's beautiful and a great actress. I just
- 1:04:57Speaker 4: think they just have a.
- 1:04:58Speaker 3: Connection, like a working connection. They do have great chemistry.
- 1:05:00Speaker 3: Everyone on that cast has great chemistry. It's a great show.
- 1:05:03Speaker 7: I love it.
- 1:05:03Speaker 3: Did you see the last episode, episode number four, when
- 1:05:06Speaker 3: she meets the Little Debbies? Yes, at the convention, at
- 1:05:10Speaker 3: the con. How, that episode was the, how real was
- 1:05:14Speaker 3: that as a comedian? I know, yes. That, I never.
- 1:05:17Speaker 3: I know, they nailed it. My friend Guy Brannan was
- 1:05:19Speaker 3: in it. Yeah, yeah. And he writes on the show.
- 1:05:22Speaker 4: His episode's coming up in a couple weeks. And I
- 1:05:24Speaker 4: called him because I was literally like, every single line
- 1:05:27Speaker 4: of that episode, every single thing that happened in that
- 1:05:30Speaker 4: was so relatable.
- 1:05:33Speaker 3: I know, they nailed it. And that's why, because they
- 1:05:36Speaker 3: have comics writing for that show. It's like, they get it.
- 1:05:38Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Yeah. It was so good.
- 1:05:41Speaker 3: The sad Comic-Con.
- 1:05:42Speaker 4: Yeah, and how she's disappointing people.
- 1:05:44Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just parasocially attached.
- 1:05:47Speaker 4: Then she meets this woman who's like, my mom and
- 1:05:51Speaker 4: I just connected over you.
- 1:05:53Speaker 3: And she's like, I watched that. I cried. Yeah, when
- 1:05:56Speaker 3: she was like, my mom wanted to see you. Yeah,
- 1:05:57Speaker 3: but my mom passed. I was like, this is why
- 1:06:00Speaker 3: we do this. I know. It's crazy. This is why
- 1:06:02Speaker 3: we do this. Mean greets are wild.
- 1:06:04Speaker 4: I thought this was so funny, your take on... Drake,
- 1:06:07Speaker 4: the rapper.
- 1:06:09Speaker 3: I can't. Tell us the latest what's going on with Drake.
- 1:06:12Speaker 3: Drake is corny, and everyone's finding out. I've always stood
- 1:06:16Speaker 3: by this. His music's fine, but he has a cornball.
- 1:06:18Speaker 3: A Canadian rapper? That's like an Ohioan surfer. I can't. So, yeah,
- 1:06:24Speaker 3: he's got a new album coming out called Iceman, which
- 1:06:26Speaker 3: is just hard in this day and age. Ice is
- 1:06:28Speaker 3: having a hard branding. Yeah, why would you choose that?
- 1:06:31Speaker 3: You're right. You know, it's a hard one to brand.
- 1:06:34Speaker 4: And also not just ice and then, you know, with ice,
- 1:06:38Speaker 4: but also just like, you know, you're always hearing how
- 1:06:41Speaker 4: like the world is like.
- 1:06:43Speaker 3: Losing our icebergs and stuff. Global warming. Like everything about
- 1:06:46Speaker 3: it is wrong. I think it might be a Toronto reference,
- 1:06:49Speaker 3: like a Canadian reference. Maybe I'm not aware of. Like
- 1:06:52Speaker 3: a hockey thing? Like there's a company called Iceman, I think.
- 1:06:54Speaker 3: Somebody was saying, there's a company in Toronto called Iceman.
- 1:06:56Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I'm sure that's what he was doing. Okay.
- 1:06:58Speaker 3: But yeah, so he put a giant block of ice,
- 1:07:01Speaker 3: that thing. Okay. That just looks like, you know, a freezer.
- 1:07:05Speaker 3: What is it in New York? It's in Toronto. Oh,
- 1:07:07Speaker 3: in Toronto. And he put the release date on a
- 1:07:09Speaker 3: piece of paper at the bottom. So he has to
- 1:07:11Speaker 3: wait for it all to melt. Or he wanted crazy
- 1:07:13Speaker 3: frat boys to take ice picks to it. And what happened?
- 1:07:16Speaker 3: I think that both happened. I think white guys with
- 1:07:20Speaker 3: boners about Drake, frat kids named, you know, Brayden, that
- 1:07:23Speaker 3: are five foot six, showed up with zins in their
- 1:07:25Speaker 3: mouth and started breathing heavily on it until it melted.
- 1:07:29Speaker 3: His fans are corny. They're frat boys. You know, I don't.
- 1:07:32Speaker 3: I'm Team Kendrick always. I have met Drake. He's wonderful.
- 1:07:36Speaker 3: At a Kardashian Christmas party. That checks out, yeah.
- 1:07:39Speaker 4: And I took a photo with my Drake and him.
- 1:07:43Speaker 4: I like your Drake.
- 1:07:44Speaker 3: He's white and fun.
- 1:07:45Speaker 4: Yeah, and he was, you know, obviously he's nice. We're
- 1:07:47Speaker 4: at a Christmas party. He's going to be nice.
- 1:07:49Speaker 3: He's not going to be like... He's not going to
- 1:07:50Speaker 3: be a dick. Is he tall? Does he smell weird? No,
- 1:07:55Speaker 3: he was like sitting and he was totally sweet. And
- 1:08:00Speaker 3: he was very nice. And then, but... He's Canadian. I
- 1:08:03Speaker 3: always think... Let's not forget that he was texting Bobby
- 1:08:07Speaker 3: Millie Brown when she was like 11 to give her
- 1:08:10Speaker 3: career advice. Talking about like, if you need any boyfriend advice,
- 1:08:14Speaker 3: let me. Girl, that's creepy. I don't ever want to
- 1:08:17Speaker 3: text a teenager, especially about, you know, dating. I don't
- 1:08:21Speaker 3: buy it. I just know. He's weird. He's weird. It's
- 1:08:24Speaker 3: like that thing like. You tell your kids. He's got
- 1:08:26Speaker 3: fake abs, too. No adult needs a child's help. He's
- 1:08:28Speaker 3: got the Jesus Christ abs. He's got the fake abs. Now,
- 1:08:31Speaker 3: when you said— I saw that. Now, is that— Those are
- 1:08:33Speaker 3: fake abs.
- 1:08:34Speaker 4: Fake abs like he had, like, a chest plate on?
- 1:08:36Speaker 3: No, it's like a surgery. He got, like, a contouring
- 1:08:39Speaker 3: of his abs. Oh, where they suck out the— Where
- 1:08:41Speaker 3: they can make divots to make it. How do we
- 1:08:42Speaker 3: know that for sure, though? Because you look at the
- 1:08:44Speaker 3: picture and then look at his pecs. They don't match. Like,
- 1:08:47Speaker 3: if you had abs like that, you'd have also kind
- 1:08:49Speaker 3: of some pecs. You don't have, like, nothing upper, and
- 1:08:52Speaker 3: then all of a sudden you're just ripped abs. Unless
- 1:08:54Speaker 3: you're Jesus. So, yeah. You know, people have said that he's,
- 1:08:59Speaker 3: you know, Kendrick alluded to it. BBL Drizzy. You know,
- 1:09:03Speaker 3: he likes, it's okay, but own up to it. You know,
- 1:09:06Speaker 3: say you like plastic surgery. Right, exactly. He's a good actor.
- 1:09:09Speaker 3: I think that's what he's doing. He's cosplaying as a rapper.
- 1:09:12Speaker 3: And I saw that you... He seems fine, though. Hold on.
- 1:09:14Speaker 3: Get out this cough, please.
- 1:09:15Speaker 6: Hold on.
- 1:09:15Speaker 5: Okay.
- 1:09:18Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, I'm stuck in my throat, sorry.
- 1:09:19Speaker 3: It's okay. I'll fart in the mic next. You know
- 1:09:22Speaker 3: I've never had COVID. Oh my God. I've never tried
- 1:09:25Speaker 3: cocaine either. You've never lived.
- 1:09:27Speaker 2: What?
- 1:09:27Speaker 3: That's why you never had it. If you were in Florida,
- 1:09:29Speaker 3: you'd pick it up real quick. Maybe leave that part in.
- 1:09:35Speaker 2: Leave that.
- 1:09:36Speaker 3: You can leave that whole coughing. If you're in Florida, Coke,
- 1:09:38Speaker 3: you'll get COVID, baby. Yeah, Coke and COVID Florida joke.
- 1:09:40Speaker 3: Triple header joke. Leave that one in, Heather Feather. Did
- 1:09:45Speaker 3: anyone ever call you Heather Feather?
- 1:09:46Speaker 2: Yes.
- 1:09:48Speaker 3: Or light as a feather.
- 1:09:49Speaker 5: Yes.
- 1:09:49Speaker 3: But you can tell me the weather. You wear pleather. Yeah. Yes. Pleather, leather.
- 1:09:54Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 1:09:54Speaker 3: Pleather, heather.
- 1:09:54Speaker 4: Did you ever, you're younger than I am, but did
- 1:09:57Speaker 4: you ever see Leather Tuscadero?
- 1:09:59Speaker 3: No. What's that?
- 1:10:00Speaker 4: She was like this girl on Happy Days.
- 1:10:03Speaker 3: And then, yeah, there's just all the heathers. Yeah. You
- 1:10:07Speaker 3: get all the heather references. Heather Lucklier. Heather Thomas. Lucklier
- 1:10:10Speaker 3: was the only heather I knew. She's great.
- 1:10:12Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 1:10:12Speaker 3: She seems great. She seems fun. Do you know that
- 1:10:15Speaker 3: she's dating Lorenzo Lamas? Who the fuck is that?
- 1:10:18Speaker 4: They're both like in their early 60s and they both
- 1:10:23Speaker 4: were like the hottest stars in the 80s and 90s. Yes,
- 1:10:26Speaker 4: he's been married like seven times, but he's like very
- 1:10:28Speaker 4: good looking. And he had a reality show called Are
- 1:10:32Speaker 4: You Hot?
- 1:10:33Speaker 3: This sounds familiar. Horrible.
- 1:10:34Speaker 4: And he would take a laser and the girl would
- 1:10:36Speaker 4: have to come out like a pageant in a bikini
- 1:10:38Speaker 4: and there'd be a panel like American Idol and then
- 1:10:41Speaker 4: he would take a red laser to show like that
- 1:10:43Speaker 4: she's not hot because there's like a dimple in her thigh.
- 1:10:45Speaker 3: Sounds great. It sounds promising. Why didn't this show get
- 1:10:48Speaker 3: picked up for 85 seasons? Are You Hot featuring Llamas.
- 1:10:53Speaker 3: All right, last topic before we wrap it up. Yes,
- 1:10:55Speaker 3: I'm gay.
- 1:10:57Speaker 4: Whose side are you on, Alex Cooper, Alex Earle, and
- 1:11:01Speaker 4: what do you think is going on there?
- 1:11:02Speaker 3: Let me get your take. I don't give a shit.
- 1:11:05Speaker 3: It's team power and money versus team influencer doing coke.
- 1:11:08Speaker 3: I mean, I hope they both have fun. I hope
- 1:11:11Speaker 3: it's for PR, to be honest. It's not. I don't
- 1:11:13Speaker 3: think it is. I don't think any of those are
- 1:11:15Speaker 3: for PR. I thought it would be.
- 1:11:16Speaker 4: I never think two people get together. And I think
- 1:11:19Speaker 4: like YouTubers back in the day would like date and
- 1:11:22Speaker 4: stuff for something like that.
- 1:11:23Speaker 3: But this is not that. Well, I just think like
- 1:11:26Speaker 3: if you have an unwell network and you're so successful,
- 1:11:28Speaker 3: why would you meddle with this shit? Like, why wouldn't
- 1:11:31Speaker 3: you just be above it? I don't understand.
- 1:11:32Speaker 4: Well, some people think that she did address it, Alex Cooper,
- 1:11:36Speaker 4: because she knew the article was about her husband coming
- 1:11:40Speaker 4: out and she kind of wanted to distract from that.
- 1:11:44Speaker 3: I'm going to go with Team Earl just because she seems,
- 1:11:46Speaker 3: I've heard she's nicer. Yes. I've heard she's nice. She
- 1:11:49Speaker 3: likes her Molly. Who doesn't? But she's nicer. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly.
- 1:11:53Speaker 1: I mean. I don't know.
- 1:11:54Speaker 3: I just don't want to. Yeah. And then Cooper just
- 1:11:56Speaker 3: seems like a fame, like money hungry, power hungry. Her husband's. tyrant.
- 1:12:01Speaker 3: I don't like that energy. It's like, we all poop. Yeah.
- 1:12:06Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Once people see themselves seriously,
- 1:12:08Speaker 3: I'm like, please. You shit. It's fine.
- 1:12:11Speaker 6: Right?
- 1:12:12Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? Let's go back. Let's go.
- 1:12:14Speaker 4: So you have your, tell everybody where they can see
- 1:12:17Speaker 4: you and follow all your stuff and your live shows
- 1:12:21Speaker 4: so you've got the they can watch your show.
- 1:12:23Speaker 3: Special comes out yeah on my youtube heather shaw comedy
- 1:12:26Speaker 3: may 14th it's called all right see ya i'm always
- 1:12:29Speaker 3: on the road so just go to heather.
- 1:12:30Speaker 4: Shaw comedy.com boston nashville bakersfield that's california.
- 1:12:34Speaker 3: That's this weekend i'm dying i have to go to
- 1:12:36Speaker 3: bakersfield will i survive well this.
- 1:12:38Speaker 4: Will this you'll already have been there before this airs
- 1:12:41Speaker 4: this will air after that bakersfield is beautiful.
- 1:12:45Speaker 3: You know what's the number one murder? It's like got
- 1:12:47Speaker 3: a lot of homicides. Great. I'm going to kill.
- 1:12:50Speaker 4: I interviewed this girl who was a reporter and all
- 1:12:53Speaker 4: she wanted to do was be a crime reporter. And
- 1:12:56Speaker 4: so someone said, then you should work in Bakersfield. And
- 1:12:58Speaker 4: so she did.
- 1:12:59Speaker 3: And she's really pretty blonde. Yeah, she got. Hell yeah.
- 1:13:03Speaker 4: Found a triple murder and did a whole podcast about it.
- 1:13:07Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 1:13:07Speaker 3: Bakersfield, baby. It was a fun time. Thanks for having me, guys.
- 1:13:11Speaker 3: Love your meth. Then you go. OK, then you have. Yeah,
- 1:13:13Speaker 3: we've got Texas. Coming up. OK, we have Fort Worth, Texas, Dayton.
- 1:13:17Speaker 3: Cincy-ish area. Kansas City. I'm hitting up all the hot
- 1:13:20Speaker 3: spots in America, as you can tell. Oh, Phoenix. Phoenix
- 1:13:23Speaker 3: in August. What's worse? Well, you know what, though? I know, but...
- 1:13:27Speaker 3: It'd be like Caitlyn Jenner under the sun. But... Oh,
- 1:13:31Speaker 3: the sun is hot. I love the Caitlyn voice. It's
- 1:13:34Speaker 3: so fun to do. Ah, Donald. It's a marker, the
- 1:13:38Speaker 3: M marker. You know that? Wait, I have to tell
- 1:13:40Speaker 3: you a funny story. So Caitlin belongs to my country club. Yes,
- 1:13:46Speaker 3: I love that.
- 1:13:47Speaker 4: And I had Lala Kent and Amber. Do you know
- 1:13:52Speaker 4: who Lala Kent is from Vanderpump?
- 1:13:53Speaker 3: She sounds familiar. Yeah. And Amber, which is amazing.
- 1:13:56Speaker 4: They both had the same baby daddy.
- 1:14:01Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:14:01Speaker 3: And now they're like best friends. Great. And do a
- 1:14:03Speaker 3: podcast together. Love it. And they're both gorgeous actresses. Hell yeah.
- 1:14:06Speaker 4: And my son just was like, I don't understand how
- 1:14:09Speaker 4: they ended up with that guy.
- 1:14:10Speaker 3: Right. And I'm like... I'm like, you don't understand. Women
- 1:14:13Speaker 3: just want a guy who likes them. Yeah, exactly.
- 1:14:15Speaker 4: If you just love them, love bomb them and give
- 1:14:17Speaker 4: them a ton of compliments. We're like, I guess you
- 1:14:19Speaker 4: are my soulmate.
- 1:14:20Speaker 3: Yeah. Take notes, Drake. We're not like, we're not picking.
- 1:14:23Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:14:23Speaker 3: It literally is just that. Anyway. Just love bomb them.
- 1:14:26Speaker 3: So I was telling some story.
- 1:14:29Speaker 4: About caitlyn jenner and i turned the corner and i'm
- 1:14:32Speaker 4: in the golf cart where you can hear and there
- 1:14:35Speaker 4: was caitlyn and i go i go something jenner and
- 1:14:38Speaker 4: i go you know brody jenner and bro i was
- 1:14:40Speaker 4: talking about brandon and brody jenner yeah who used to
- 1:14:42Speaker 4: be on princess of malibu that spencer pratt like put
- 1:14:45Speaker 4: together yeah and i'm talking about that and i go
- 1:14:47Speaker 4: you know and i'm saying the word jenner and i
- 1:14:49Speaker 4: literally turn and they were like.
- 1:14:51Speaker 3: Oh my god how you want a lady's doing Love it.
- 1:14:56Speaker 3: She's fun. I like her.
- 1:14:58Speaker 4: The Phoenix people will want to go and be in
- 1:15:00Speaker 4: an air conditioned place.
- 1:15:01Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. It is inside of AC. Where is that?
- 1:15:04Speaker 3: Do you know? Yeah, it's at Mic Drop Mania.
- 1:15:06Speaker 5: Nice.
- 1:15:06Speaker 3: It's a comedy club. Oklahoma City. I mean, you're doing
- 1:15:09Speaker 3: it all. Tulsa. Long Island. DC. That'll be nice. Yep.
- 1:15:12Speaker 3: Adding shows too. So we'll add some shows in there. Amazing. Yeah,
- 1:15:15Speaker 3: it's fun. I go all over. But your wife doesn't
- 1:15:17Speaker 3: go with you. Only to cities she wants to and
- 1:15:19Speaker 3: nothing up there is something she'd go to. That's every
- 1:15:21Speaker 3: comedy spouse.
- 1:15:22Speaker 4: Yeah in the beginning in the beginning they start they
- 1:15:25Speaker 4: go yeah no she's never been like fun yeah.
- 1:15:28Speaker 3: It's a lot of it's just you're just in a
- 1:15:30Speaker 3: hotel for two days and then yeah at a club
- 1:15:32Speaker 3: it's not that you're not doing a lot you know.
- 1:15:33Speaker 4: I remember my good friend who was a comedian with
- 1:15:36Speaker 4: me she wanted to break up with her guy and
- 1:15:41Speaker 4: you know and i was like well you should you
- 1:15:43Speaker 4: know like you're not married you don't have kids like
- 1:15:45Speaker 4: you know whatever yeah.
- 1:15:46Speaker 3: And then she goes but who's gonna want to see
- 1:15:50Speaker 3: my act over and over again. I go, why does
- 1:15:52Speaker 3: the boyfriend have to go? The audience.
- 1:15:54Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 1:15:55Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't want my wife to watch my act.
- 1:15:57Speaker 3: I'm like, you've heard this. You get it. You've heard
- 1:16:00Speaker 3: my impression of Caitlyn Jenner. You don't, you stay home.
- 1:16:03Speaker 3: She doesn't need to see this again. She doesn't even
- 1:16:05Speaker 3: like it. She's like, I think you're hot, but your
- 1:16:07Speaker 3: comedy is insane. But does she, but does she laugh
- 1:16:11Speaker 3: all day with you? Like she must think you're fun. Yeah,
- 1:16:12Speaker 3: we have fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we definitely have fun.
- 1:16:14Speaker 3: She's funny. Well, I think you're fun. Thank you. I
- 1:16:16Speaker 3: had a lot of fun with another Heather. And I,
- 1:16:19Speaker 3: Heather's for Heathers, keeping us funny forever.
- 1:16:22Speaker 4: For generations to come, it's going to be my new
- 1:16:25Speaker 4: thing because you were such a delight.
- 1:16:27Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. And I'm so glad you came. Yeah,
- 1:16:30Speaker 3: I'm glad I'm going to be here. It's great. And
- 1:16:32Speaker 3: is your name just at Heather Shaw? Heather Shaw is
- 1:16:35Speaker 3: kidding on Instagram, but yeah, just type in Heather Shaw.
- 1:16:38Speaker 3: You'll see it.
- 1:16:39Speaker 4: She's a ton of followers and she posts really great
- 1:16:41Speaker 4: funny takes on things.
- 1:16:43Speaker 3: Thanks.
- 1:16:44Speaker 2: Bye.
- 1:16:45Speaker 3: Appreciate it.
- 1:16:47Speaker 6: Christmas shopping has already started in our house. My daughter
- 1:16:50Speaker 6: is so organised, already planning Christmas gifts from Macaulay. Hair
- 1:16:54Speaker 6: care for her aunt and a fab fragrance for her bestie.
- 1:16:57Speaker 6: But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I'm
- 1:16:59Speaker 6: an early bird, buying one present a week from now
- 1:17:02Speaker 6: till Christmas, which makes budgeting less stressful. I can buy
- 1:17:05Speaker 6: in-store or online from Macaulay.ie for home delivery or free
- 1:17:09Speaker 6: click and collect.
- 1:17:10Speaker 3: So easy.
- 1:17:11Speaker 6: Gifts they'll cherish at prices you'll love.