Latest / “I” Of The Hurricane / What If YOU COULD Get 10 Years Of Your Life Back?

Transcript

What If YOU COULD Get 10 Years Of Your Life Back? · “I” Of The Hurricane

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, you start asking it, did I screw this up?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Did I waste the one life I had?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: That question almost broke me.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I put it back together.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Eye of the Hurricane.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Reclaim your calm.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Eye of the Hurricane podcast.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, recently I heard a story that stuck with me for weeks.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to share it with you and see if it has the same impact.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: But picture this.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: You go to bed one night, the age you are today, but during your dream, you suddenly become 10 years older.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: So the years had been lived and they're now gone.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: And in the dream, an old wise man shows up.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: He's a kind of guy that's full of compassion and care, almost reminds you of a sage that you knew for many lifetimes.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the old man asks you one question.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: And he says, if I could help you go back and you'd wake up 10 years younger, tell me what would you actually do differently?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Suddenly in the dream, you don't even have to think about it because the tears and the chance of redemption and getting 10 years back, it all just comes flooding out of you.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you say, you know what?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: I would take that chance I didn't take.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: I would tell the people that I love the most how I truly felt.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't have been so worried so much about what other people thought and always worried about pleasing everybody else.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'd start that business.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I guarantee you that I would get out of that toxic relationship that I drug my feet on.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the biggest things, I'd be present, actually present for all the years that I just spent watching my life from the outside, always worried about what the next thing was before the current thing was even over.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: You'd say I'd capture each day in a way that I didn't the first time I lived it.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: And you scream, oh, what I would give.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: And in the dream, as I said, you get emotional and you're not sad, but you're just relieved to finally be honest with somebody and get this off of your chest.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Then, underneath all of it, what did we have?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: We have a feeling of hope.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Could this really happen?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Could we wake up and get that 10 years back?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: And the old man, he just listens.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't judge, he doesn't rush us.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: And when you're done, when you've said everything you wanted to say, the old man looks, smiles, and he grants your wish.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And you wake up.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Guess what?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're 10 years younger.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that's today.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's where you are now.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's where both of us are right now.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: You watching this, me making it.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: We already got the wish.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: The only question left is what will we do with it?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the thing that nobody tells us about turning 50.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't feel like a milestone.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's times we're just uh it feels more like an ambush.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know, one day you're building a career and a family and a version of yourself that you were proud of.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then somewhere in the middle of a lonely drive across the state for the hundredth time, or standing in a bathroom mirror at 6 a.m., it all just kind of hits you sideways.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: How did I get here?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Did I do this right or did I completely fumble my whole life?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I just turned 50.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: I've been married, divorced, remarried.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: I know what it's like to be a single dad for years and have tremendous relationships with my kids.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I know what it's like to have a falling out with my same kids and then to rebuild from there.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I have a job that puts me in a car for hours at a time, which means I've had a lot of alone time lately to sit with these exact thoughts.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And trust me when I say I know for all of us it's tough, it's complicated, and it's really messy at times for all of us.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: And being totally honest, I've spent more of those hours than I'd like to admit, worrying about health things, right?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Things 20 years ago you didn't even consider.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: But hey, where's my cholesterol at?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: What about my blood pressure?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: Why is my body doing something I can't control?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's real.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's not, I'm going to pretend the health stuff doesn't weigh on me, but it does.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: But somewhere in all of the worrying, I noticed something else going on underneath it all.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not just fear of my body failing.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: It was actually the fear of running out of time to actually live in it.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like not capitalizing, not doing everything I should have done up to this point.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it's insidious because I don't know if you feel the same thing, but it's like a thousand small realizations stacking up until you can't ignore them anymore.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's not one major thing.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: So let's do some uncomfortable math for a second.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: If you're 50 like me and we're lucky enough to make it to 80, 60% of our life is complete.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's that's wild to think your life is 60% complete at this stage.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that means over half the mornings are gone, over half the conversations with the people you love, over half the sunsets, half the ordinary Tuesdays, half of everything.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that number should scare us a little, but I think it's supposed to, but here's what it's not supposed to do.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's not supposed to paralyze you and I into thinking the second half is just leftovers.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's a it's a slow decline, you know.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's the part where we just coast because here's what I believe to be true.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that is the second part is where we finally know what we're doing.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, we've made all the mistakes already.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: We've experienced so many things like loss and all the things that come with having life experience.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: And we know what doesn't work.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: We know what actually matters, you know, because we've watched enough time pass to see what fades and what doesn't.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: So the old man in the dream, he didn't he didn't give the guy his 20s back.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: He gave them the wisdom of 50, dropped into a body with another 10 years of road left.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's where the hope came from.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's the whole point of the story.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: It was never really about being younger, it was about finally being present for the time that we have, whatever age that time comes wrapped in.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: I also want to be clear, I'm not up here because I think I've got this figured out and you don't.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's certainly not the case.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: I've got the same 2 a.m.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: thoughts.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've got the same did I already blow it voice that shows up uninvited.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: I worry about things I can't control more than I'd like to.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was younger, I never did that.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: But I've postponed things that I shouldn't have postponed.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want you to know this is not me talking from uh a mountain I already climbed.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: This is me in the middle of the climb, turning around, reaching out my hand, and saying, you know, I could use the company as much as you could.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a joined effort.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's the whole idea behind the Eye of the Hurricane podcast.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a place you arrive at once and stay forever.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's a place you have to keep finding over and over, especially when the wind picks up.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: And some days I find it and some days I don't, and hopefully you feel the same.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm not here because I'm always calm.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here because I'm looking for the same thing that you are.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the practical part because a story about a wise old man is nice, but it doesn't really mean anything if it just makes us feel something for five minutes and then we go back to autopilot, which is very easy to do.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: I've got the years back starting today, right now.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Here's where we actually start.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: So first, pick one thing that you've been postponing and give it a date, not a someday, a real date, like this month.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: The call you haven't made, the doctor appointment you keep pushing back, the conversation you've been avoiding with someone you love.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Someday isn't on the calendar.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: So put it on the calendar.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: For me, it's this podcast.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: I put it off for six years.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Six years.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: I had paid all these memberships for all these different things.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: I've gotten ready to get ready.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and had every excuse in the book when the truth was it's fear that stopped me.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: So that's for me, that's my personal mission to quit putting it off regardless of the outcome.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: The second, catch yourself watching your own life instead of living it.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of the three feet outside yourself feeling I mentioned earlier.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: So the next time you notice yourself doing it, sitting in a room with people you care about mentally somewhere else, just come back.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's the whole practice.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Just notice and come back.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: So one thing I've felt over time from in my own experience is the self-awareness piece is a hundred percent the road to fixing in-grained patterns.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: So when you say to yourself, oh, look at what I'm doing, where five or 10 years ago you wouldn't have noticed it, you know, that all of a sudden means that the gray times are not very far off.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: The third thing, let's stop treating our mistakes like they're evidenced against us, like they define who we are.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said earlier, they're our tuition.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: Every wrong turn we've taken is the reason we know that we know what the right one looks like now.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Use it instead of hiding from it.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: We all have to try not to repeat, that's the challenge, not to repeat the same mistakes.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: And fourth, do this with somebody.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Don't try to reclaim your calm alone in a vacuum.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Tell someone what you're working on.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Let this be a rally, not a solo mission.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that is exactly what this show is for.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: So here's where I'll leave it.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: We already had the dream.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: We already made the wish.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: We already got all 10 years back, and that's what today is.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: The only thing left is the part of the dream that it can't do for us.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that's waking up and actually living like we meant, we said, to the wise old man.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: All those things we promised to change, given the time back, we owe that.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's okay to be a train wreck in some respects, because I will guarantee, without even knowing you, that you are awesome in so many facets of your life.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: So just remember every mistake, every wrong turn, every year we thought we wasted, it's not baggage.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's what needed to happen for us to be ready for this exact moment.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: So we're not too late, we're not too far gone, and we all just got our 10 years back.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: So let's make today count.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Much love.