Latest / Natty Unfiltered / E30 Money Isn't The Goal. Freedom Is.

Transcript

E30 Money Isn't The Goal. Freedom Is. · Natty Unfiltered

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You know what I realized over the years? When people
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hear the words financial freedom, they automatically think about money.
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They think about having millions in the bank, driving expensive
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cars, living in beautiful homes, traveling whenever they want,
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and never having to worry about paying another bill.
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And listen, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I don't
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want those things. Of course I want to be financially successful. I want
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to travel. I want to enjoy beautiful experiences with my
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family. I want to buy things without constantly calculating
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whether I should or shouldn't spend the money. Who doesn't?
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But the older I get, the more I realize
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that money itself was never really the goal.
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Freedom was. Freedom to make my own decisions,
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freedom to spend my time doing things I love.
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Freedom to be present for my children without feeling like I'm sacrificing
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my own dreams. Freedom to have financial independence and
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not feel like I have to rely on someone else to create
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the life I want. And maybe most
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importantly, freedom to have peace of mind.
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Because I think we underestimate how much our
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financial situation affects us emotionally.
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When you're constantly worrying about bills,
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expenses, or whether they're going to be
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enough money, that stress doesn't just disappear
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when you wake up in the morning, you carry it with you.
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It affects your mood, your relationships,
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your confidence, and sometimes even how you see
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yourself. And I know I'm not the only woman
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who's experienced that. So today I want to talk about something
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that's been a huge part of my personal
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journey. Financial freedom.
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But not just the money side of it. I want to talk about
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why so many women, especially moms, lose sight
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of their own financial independence. Why I started exploring different
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ways to create income, and why I believe building something of your
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own can change more than just your bank account.
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Because sometimes the biggest transformation happens
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before you ever make your first dollar.
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Welcome back to Natty Unfiltered. If you're new here,
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I'm Natie. I'm a mom of three, a real estate agent, and someone
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who's been on the personal journey of rediscovering who I am beyond
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being a wife and a mother. And I want
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to talk about something I think a lot of women can relate to.
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When you become a mom, your priorities naturally change.
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Your kids need you, their school activities,
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appointments, meals, and about a thousand
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other things that need to get done. And before you
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know it, your entire day revolves around everyone else.
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You become really good at managing everybody else's lives,
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their schedules. But somewhere along the way,
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you stop asking yourself a pretty important question.
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No. What do I want not what
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my kids need, not what my husband wants,
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not what I should be doing. What do I
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actually want out of my life? And I think sometimes we feel
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guilty even asking ourselves that question, because we're
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moms. We're supposed to be grateful. We're supposed to be happy. We're supposed
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to appreciate everything we have. And don't get me wrong,
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I absolutely love being a mother.
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My three children are such a huge part of my life,
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and I wouldn't trade it. I wouldn't trade that
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for absolutely anything. But I've also
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come to understand something. Loving your family and wanting more for
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yourself can exist. At the same time,
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you can be an amazing mother and still have
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ambitions. You can love your home and your family and still want
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financial independence. You can be grateful for
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what you have and still want to create something bigger.
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I think for a long time, I struggled with that.
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I had ideas. I wanted to start businesses. I wanted
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to do something creative. I wanted to contribute financially
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and build something I could call my own.
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And I tried different things. I explored becoming
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a health coach. I had an idea for an online children's
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store. I was interested in social media and
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all the opportunities that were starting to come from
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being online. But here's where things got complicated.
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I had ideas. I had the excitement.
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And then the fear would kick in. What if it
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doesn't work? What if people judge me? What if I
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fail? What if I invest my time and money and I
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fail? What if I look ridiculous trying to build something
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online? And do you know what happens when you
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keep asking yourself those questions? You talk
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yourself out of trying. Even if you
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start something, you are quitting halfway through it.
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You convince yourself that maybe now isn't the right time,
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or maybe you don't know enough or you're
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not having enough help. You know, you. Then you sell yourself. Well,
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maybe when kids get older, maybe when life becomes less stressful,
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maybe when I have more money,
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maybe when I feel more confident.
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And then suddenly years just go by.
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That's something I had to come to terms with in my
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own life. I wasn't necessarily lacking ideas
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or ambition. I was actually allowing
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my fears to make decisions for me.
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So around 2019,
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I reached the point where I knew something needed to change.
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And I want to be very clear about something. My transformation
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didn't begin because everything in my life was going wonderfully.
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It began because I wasn't happy with where
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I was emotionally, mentally, and financially.
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There were areas in my personal life where I felt unfulfilled.
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I was frustrated That I had not accomplished some
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of the things I had wanted for myself. I felt like I was giving
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so much of my energy to other people,
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worrying about what others thought and allowing
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situations around me to affect my happiness.
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And I kept asking myself, why do I keep
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ending up in the same place? Why do I have all these ideas by
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never fully follow through? Why am I so afraid
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of failure? And why am I letting other people's
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opinions have so much power over me?
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And that's when I really began working on myself.
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I started learning more about mindset, limiting belief,
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the subconscious mind, self love and
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confidence. I had to start paying attention to the stories
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I had been telling myself for years. Stories like,
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I'm not good enough. I'm too old to start something new.
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Other people know more than I do. What if
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I fail? What are people going to think?
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And I realized something important. Sometimes the
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biggest obstacle standing between us and the life we want is the
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way we think about ourselves. Now, I'm not saying that
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changing your mindset magically changes your financial
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situation. I wish it worked that
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way. I wish I could look at my vision board and manifest
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things. But manifestation doesn't work.
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If you don't put in the work, you can manifest all day long.
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But if you're not going to be putting the work and taking those steps and
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actually sometimes maybe failing and getting back up,
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that's when things start to happen for you.
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You know, you can't meditate your mortgage away,
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but wouldn't that be nice? But working on
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my mindset helped me become more willing to take action. It helped
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me stop needing everyone's approval. It helped me understand
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that failure isn't necessarily something to be ashamed
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of. If, if I'm going
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to be afraid of failure, then how
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am I going to know I'm going to succeed if I'm not
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starting or if I'm starting and quitting halfway
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or quarterway in whatever that I
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started, then I already failed. And that
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part that I needed to understand that failure
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is part of learning. And successful people
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failed so many times to reach their success.
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For some people, it took years to reach their success.
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But they continue to evolve, they continue to
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push through it because they want it bad enough. And failure
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is just part of learning. And so
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it helped me become stronger emotionally. I started understanding
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that I didn't have to accept every situation, every opinion,
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or every limitation that other people placed on me. And this wasn't something
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that happened overnight. It took years. And I'm still learning.
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I'm still growing. I still have moments When
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I question myself, the difference is that I
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don't want those fears controlling every decision I make anymore.
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And that's where my desire for financial independence became even
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stronger, because I started connecting the two.
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When you have confidence in yourself,
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you're more willing to create opportunities.
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And when you begin building financial independence, you give
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yourself more choices about your future.
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To me, those two things go hand in hand.
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Now I want to talk about why I became so interested in social media,
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digital marketing, and creating income online.
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And I want to start by saying something I never wanted to
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become an influencer just for
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the sake of being an influencer. I wasn't interested in
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pretending my life was perfect, showing off expensive things or
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creating some imaginary lifestyle online. I know
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that there were times where I took time off off social
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media because things in my life were not going great.
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And I'm not one of those people where I'm just gonna show up and
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be happy itself and just pretend everything is hunky
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dory when things behind the scenes are just falling apart.
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It's just not me. It's. There's plenty of people do it, but it's
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just not my cup of tea. And I just felt that needed
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to take that time off,
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regroup, and show up when I
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felt happy to be online.
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What interested me was the possibility of building
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something of my own, something creative,
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something that allowed me to share my experiences, connect with other
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women, learn new skills, and potentially create additional income.
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I had already experienced what it was like to have business ideas
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and not fully pursue them, and I didn't want to keep repeating that
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pattern. When I started learning about digital products and content
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creation, I realized that social media wasn't just about posting pictures or,
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or making videos. It's also a way to reach people.
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It's to build a community, to market the business,
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to share knowledge and potentially to sell products,
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offer services, work with brands, or create
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something valuable that people are willing to pay for.
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Think about it. We'll live in a time when someone can
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take a skill they've learned, create educational
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resource, I can't even speak and offer it to people
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online. A mom who's amazing and organizing can create
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helpful templates. Someone who loves cooking can share recipes
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and eventually build a business around that knowledge. Someone with
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professional experience can teach skills, offer services, or create
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resources for people who need help in that area.
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There are so many possibilities and
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I know that I found those very same people
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through social media when I needed
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to. When I felt like I needed to change things about my life,
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I found.
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Kind of Like a life coach online.
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Because I was already following the girl. I,
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you know, like, I really liked what she was posting. It resonated with me
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and I started working with
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her. And that's just one example where
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you find people online, you resonate with them,
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you trust them, and then you start working with them.
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And that's what social media does. Kind of like that's one
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great thing about social media is that you can discover people
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outside of the place where you live and you
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can become friends, you can do business together and
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you can hire them to work with
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you or work for you. It just, it's amazing.
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But here's what I also want to say. Just because opportunities
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exist doesn't mean success happens automatically.
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Creating content takes time. Learning marketing
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takes effort. Building an audience requires patience
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and consistency. And creating a digital product doesn't
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mean people are automatically going to buy it.
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You have to understand who you're helping, what problem
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you're solving, and why someone would find value in
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what you're offering. I've had to learn that too,
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and I'm still learning to this day. I don't want
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to sit here and tell you that all you have to do is post few
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videos and suddenly you have financial freedom,
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because that's not reality for most people.
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But what I love about this space is the opportunity to
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learn skills that you can continue building on even
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if your first idea doesn't work. You're gaining knowledge,
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you're learning how to communicate, you're learning marketing,
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you're learning how to tell stories, connect with people and
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understand what an audience needs.
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Now, those skills can be valuable in many different businesses and
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careers. I've invested in
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multiple courses and each course taught
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me something different. And yes, like I have
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courses where you can go on like
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my profile, and you can buy some of those courses
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and learn it yourself, especially if you're new to social
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media. If you have a business and you want to take business online or you
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want to come up with the business ideas, it just gives you that base
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foundation of how you can go about it. Yes, there's information out there,
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bits and pieces on YouTube. But I found
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it really valuable when you actually have a course
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that from someone who knows what they're doing, they put it
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together, they've done it themselves, and you just learn
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from the people who've actually seen succeeded, and they
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tell you how to be successful, how to be
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creating content, how to put the business online, and,
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and what are other different possibilities that
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you can tap into online and
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start creating your personal brand?
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And possibly making money online, because why not?
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Because so many people are doing it. So many. So why not you?
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And for me, as a real estate agent, I also see how
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powerful those skills can be professionally. You know,
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knowing how to market yourself, build relationships and create trust
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online can support the work you're already doing. So when
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I talk about creating content, I'm not saying everyone needs to quit their job or
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abandon their career. Not at all. I'm talking about exploring ways
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to expand your opportunities. Maybe you start something alongside
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your current job. Maybe you learn a skill that helps you grow your
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existing business. Maybe you create a small digital product.
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Maybe you simply begin sharing what you know and discover
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what people respond to. You don't have
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to know exactly where it's going to lead, but you do
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have to be willing to begin. I remember even,
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like there's once one lady, she was ultrasound
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tech and she created
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the digital product for people who
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are getting into this field and they're brand new.
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I mean, they're in school and she,
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she actually was making really good money from selling that
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digital product because she was helping kind
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of newbies that are going to be in this field.
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She basically taught them in the course what
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to expect, how to go about the job and everything that they needed to know.
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I mean, that's something that was
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very valuable. And you can apply this to a lot of different
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fields. Heck, even a real estate agent, when you get in,
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you just like, just because you took a course, you passed the
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exam, which is also not easy. And you get into the field,
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there's so much to learn. And when you actually
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have the basics, the basic knowledge of what to
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expect, how to pick a brokerage, if you wanted to be in the
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team, what to look for, what team you wanted to be looked for, you to,
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you know, look for, for the team lead,
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what kind of a team lead you want when you start and you're going into,
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you know, like in real estate, when you're going with clients,
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what you should be looking, what you should be signing, what when you go,
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and showing the homes, how you should be
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showing homes, what to be expect. You know, what to expect. And of course it's
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always, um, if you can shadow somebody,
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that's really good way of learning
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how to be out in the field, how to be,
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you know, when you go into listing appointments with someone
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and just kind of sitting quietly and seeing how they're doing,
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but knowing just the beginnings,
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just the first stages of the business that you're getting into,
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it's so valuable. And yes, if you can create that
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digital product, that somebody can go and use it,
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but make it actually valuable for people. Not just,
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just put, you know, put few pages there
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and just leave some things out if you truly
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want to help other people. You pour a
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lot of information into this digital product. When people
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find it valuable, then the word kind of spreads
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and that's how you can monetize it.
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So quite a bit to think about.
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But the thing is, is that you have to be willing to begin.
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And I think that's where so many women get stuck.
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And of course men too. They're waiting until they
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feel ready. They're waiting until they understand everything.
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I was the same way. I felt like I needed to
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know everything, understand everything in order for me to start.
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Big mistake, you know. They're waiting until they have
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the perfect plan. There's no such thing as perfect plan.
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But I can tell you from my own experience that waiting for the perfect moment
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can become another way of avoiding the fear of trying
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to. I spent enough time doing that.
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I don't want to keep putting my dreams on hold. And you should
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not either. Here's something else I've been thinking
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about. What does financial freedom actually look like?
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Because I think the answer is different for everyone. For one person,
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it might mean retiring early. For someone else, it might mean
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owning a successful business. For for another person, it might
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mean having enough savings to leave a difficult situation without
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worrying about how they're going to support themselves.
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And for a mom, it might mean something much simpler.
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Maybe it's being able to pick up your kids from school without asking
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permission. Maybe it's not missing their activities because your work
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schedule doesn't allow you to be there. Maybe it's having the
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flexibility to take a family vacation without feeling guilty or worrying
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about how you're going to pay for it. Or maybe
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it's being able to walk into the grocery store and buy what your family needs
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without calculating every single item in your cart.
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Sometimes it's those little things that mean the most.
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As my kids have gotten older, I become even more aware of
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how quickly time passes. My eldest son is
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now in college. And I can tell you, sending your first child
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off to college really makes you think about time differently. You suddenly
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realize how quickly all those years went by.
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The school drop offs, the skating practices, the family
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dinners, the everyday moments you thought would last forever. And now
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we're entering another chapter of our lives. It reminds
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me that time isn't something we can't get back.
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And that makes flexibility even more important to me.
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I want to have the ability to be there for my children as
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they move through different stages of life. I want to travel.
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I want to spend time with people I love. I want
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to wake up feeling excited about what I'm building instead of constantly
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feeling overwhelmed by what needs to be paid for or
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done. And I want to feel financially secure.
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Not because money guarantees happiness. It doesn't.
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But because financial stress can take away so
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much of your peace. I think that's what people sometimes misunderstand
24:48
about financial freedom. It's not necessarily about never working
24:52
again. I actually enjoy working, creating,
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learning, and having goals. I don't think I'll
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be happy doing absolutely nothing.
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What I want is to have more control over how I work,
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what I do, and how I spend my time.
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And that's the difference. Of course,
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flexibility also requires planning, reliable income,
25:19
and financial responsibility. Running your own business
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doesn't automatically mean working fewer hours.
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Sometimes you work more, especially in the beginning.
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But the possibility of building something that aligns with
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your life, your strength in your goals, is what motivates
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me. I don't want to spend my life waiting for circumstances
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to become perfect before I start enjoying it. I want to create
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more choices while I'm living it.
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And I want to talk about something that might make some people
25:55
uncomfortable. How often do we wait
25:59
for someone else to give us an opportunity? We wait for somebody to recognize
26:04
our potential. We wait for someone to believe in us. We wait
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for someone to offer us a chance. We wait for support from
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our friends, family, or people we think should be cheering us on.
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And when that support doesn't come, we. We get discouraged.
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I've been there more than I can admit.
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I wanted support from people close to me. I wanted people
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to see what I was trying to build and understand why it mattered to me.
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And sometimes that support wasn't there in the way I hoped.
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But one of the things I've learned through my transformation
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is that I cannot build my entire future around
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whether other people believe in me.
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It's nice when they do. It's a boost in the confidence,
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but I don't want to be waiting for that.
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I have to believe in myself enough to keep going.
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And I think that applies to financial independence, too.
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We can't always control our circumstances.
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We can't control the economy. We can't control whether business
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succeeds. We can't control whether someone buys our product
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or hires us. We can take responsibility
27:18
for learning, improving, and creating
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opportunities where we can. And I
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think social media has given people another venue.
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Not venue. I should say, avenue to explore those opportunities.
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You don't necessarily need a huge following to begin learning
27:39
how to market yourself. You don't
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have to be the youngest person in the room. You don't have to look a
27:47
certain way, and you certainly don't need to pretend to be
27:51
somebody you're not. In fact, I believe
27:55
that sharing your actual experiences, the things you've learned
27:59
and the challenges you faced can help you connect with people in
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a much more meaningful way. Because people
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relate to those that are being real.
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People relate to those who show that they've struggled
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and what they did to overcome the struggles
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and what they did to actually succeed and how long
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it took them to succeed. Because a lot of times, yes, on social media you
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see these winnings and success stories
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and, and what it looks like it took people two days to start making
28:39
this money and banking and living this lavish
28:43
life. But the reality,
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reality is, is that that doesn't happen. It takes
28:50
time. And when you actually see people who are being real with
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you, people who actually, like, you know, if somebody is trying to get out
28:59
of that and they're sharing ways of how they're going about
29:03
it, what they're doing and they're taking on
29:07
you on their journey,
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a lot more people can connect with
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that because it's real. It's real life.
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That's one of the reasons I created Nadian Filtered. I wanted the
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space where I could talk openly about motherhood, mindset, money,
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relationships, fears, and the things women go through
29:30
but don't always feel comfortable discussing. It's not always easy.
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You know, there's always going to be people who's going to judge you, who's going
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to put their five cents or try to hurt you just on
29:41
purpose, or they're just, you know,
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miserable beings and they just want to type things away.
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But, you know, sometimes you just have to push
29:54
through those negativities and
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realize that there's plenty of miserable people and
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misery likes company. I don't
30:06
want to pretend that I have everything figured out because I don't.
30:09
I have goals I'm still working toward. I have moments
30:13
when I get discouraged. There are days when things don't go the way
30:17
I planned. There are days where I still have
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that comparison thing going on. There are days where I question myself and
30:27
there's days when I also need a pick me up moment.
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I also need time to vent to a
30:35
friend or friends and for them to have my
30:39
back and kind of put me back and to like the right
30:44
path. But I've learned that I can be a work in progress and
30:49
still have something valuable to share. And so can you.
30:54
Now, I know some of you might be listening and thinking, okay,
30:58
Nettie, this is all sounds wonderful, but where
31:01
do I even start? I have kids. I have responsibilities.
31:05
I don't have hours every day to sit around creating videos.
31:09
I don't know anything about digital marketing. I don't
31:13
have extra money to invest in another business idea.
31:16
Listen, I get it because I was there
31:22
not too long ago.
31:25
And I think that's why it's so important to start realistically.
31:29
First, ask yourself what financial freedom means to you,
31:34
not what somebody on Instagram says it should mean.
31:38
What would actually make a difference in your life?
31:42
Would it be an extra $500 a month? Would it be
31:45
paying off your credit cards? Would it be building an emergency fund?
31:49
Would it be earning enough money to eventually have more flexibility in
31:54
your career? You need to get specific because it's your
31:58
life, and when you know what you're
32:02
working toward, it's easier to figure out what steps might help you get
32:07
there. Second, look at what you already know.
32:11
What are you good at? What do people come to you for advice
32:15
about? What experiences have taught you? Something valuable?
32:20
Sometimes we overlook our own knowledge because it
32:24
comes naturally to us. But something that feels simple
32:28
to you might be something another person is struggling to understand.
32:33
Third, start learning one skill.
32:36
Not 10 things at once, just one.
32:40
Maybe that's content creation. Maybe it's video editing.
32:44
Maybe it's digital marketing. Maybe it's learning how
32:48
to create an educational product to offer a service online.
32:53
Get yourself time to understand it before spending
32:57
money on expensive core and
33:01
fourth, take action before you feel completely confident.
33:07
I really want to emphasize that because confidence
33:11
doesn't always come first. Sometimes confidence comes
33:15
from doing the thing you're afraid of, seeing that you can handle
33:19
it, and then doing it again and again. Your first video
33:23
might be awkward. It probably will. Your first
33:28
product might not sell. Your first business idea might need to
33:32
change. But that's okay. Those are experiences
33:36
that can teach you what to improve.
33:40
At the same time, be smart about your finances.
33:44
Don't risk money you need for your family's essential expenses.
33:48
Build savings where you can understand your costs
33:53
and test your ideas before making big financial commitments.
33:57
You don't need to put your family's security at risk
34:02
to prove that you believe in yourself. Small,
34:05
consistent steps count. And there's one thing I
34:09
wish I could tell my younger self. It would be this. Stop worrying
34:14
so much about whether you're going to fail. Start Thinking about
34:18
what you might learn if you actually give yourself a chance.
34:23
I would have saved myself so much time if
34:27
I would just believed in myself and
34:31
knew that failure is just part of the game,
34:34
part of the learning. But hey, you cannot turn
34:39
back the clock. You have to. I want to leave you with
34:43
something. If you're listening to this episode and you've been feeling
34:47
stuck, financially dependent, or frustrated because you haven't
34:51
accomplished the things you once dreamed about, I want you to ask
34:55
yourself a question. What would you do differently if you stopped believing
34:59
that it was too late? What if you stopped comparing
35:03
your timeline to everybody else's? What if you stopped
35:07
worrying about who might judge you? And what if instead of
35:11
waiting for somebody else to create an opportunity for you,
35:14
you. You start exploring how to create one for yourself?
35:18
I'm not telling you that it's going to be easy. And I'm certainly not
35:22
telling you that you'll become financially free overnight. I'm still
35:26
on my own journey. There are goals I haven't reached yet. There are things
35:30
I'm working toward. And there are days when I wish I had started sooner
35:35
or pushed myself harder. But I also look back at the moment I
35:39
was years ago, and I see how much I've changed. I've become
35:44
more confident. I've learned to stand up for myself.
35:47
I've learned that not everybody's going to support me, and that's
35:51
okay. I've learned that I can go through difficult situations
35:55
and come out stronger. And I've learned that I don't want fear
35:59
making my decisions anymore. I want to keep building a
36:04
life where I have choices, where I can create,
36:07
where I can spend time with my. My family,
36:10
where I can feel proud of what I'm accomplishing.
36:14
And where money is a tool that supports the life I want
36:18
to live instead of something that constantly controls how
36:22
I feel. Because at the end of the day, financial freedom
36:26
isn't just about what's in your bank account. It's about independence.
36:31
It's about opportunity. It's about confidence.
36:35
It's about peace of mind. And it's about having
36:38
more control over the. Over your future.
36:42
So if you've been thinking about starting something of your own,
36:46
whether that's a business, a digital product, creating content,
36:50
or simply learning a new skill, give yourself
36:53
permission to explore it. You don't have to have everything figured
36:57
out today. You just have to stop convincing yourself that you're incapable
37:02
of beginning. And remember, you're allowed
37:06
to want more. You're allowed to dream bigger. You're allowed to have
37:10
goals that belong to you, not just to your family or
37:15
the people around you. Because being a mom is an incredible
37:20
part of who you are. But it's not the only part.
37:24
And your dreams matter too. Thank you so much
37:27
for spending this time with me on Nadi Unfiltered. If this episode
37:31
resonated with you, share it with another woman who might need to hear
37:35
this message. And if you're ready to start learning how
37:39
to create something of your own, find me on Instagram and
37:45
go on my profile. You can find some of
37:49
the courses that I took that I found it helpful and I know you will
37:52
find it helpful for you. I would love to connect and
37:56
help you figure out a place to begin. And as always,
38:00
remember your story, your pace and your lane are
38:05
enough. You don't need to live somebody else's version of
38:09
success. You get to create your own. Until next
38:13
time. Keep believing in yourself, keep growing and don't
38:17
stop showing up for the life you want. Until next