Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why Don't narcissists BLOCK you when you ask them to
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful folks?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about why narcissists do not
- 0:06block you when you ask them to. When you say, hey, can you block
- 0:11me? I don't have the strength to
- 0:12block you. Why don't they follow your
- 0:15directions? If you're new here, my name is
- 0:16Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
- 0:18welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:38Boom. Welcome back, folks.
- 0:39Welcome back. Welcome back.
- 0:40Yes, that's the question of the year, the question of the the
- 0:44the millennia, isn't it? Why don't narcissist it ain't
- 0:47that it ain't that big of a question, but why don't
- 0:50narcissist the people just do you a favor and block you when
- 0:55it's over? Block you when they tell you
- 0:57that they don't want to be with you anymore?
- 0:58Block you when they break up with you and discard you or find
- 1:01a new supply. Why don't they block you when
- 1:03you just simply request them to? When you say hey look, can you
- 1:09please just block me because I don't have the strength to block
- 1:11you? Why don't they just listen to
- 1:12you? Because first of all,
- 1:15narcissistic people don't like being told what to do.
- 1:18They absolutely hate it. They they loathe it.
- 1:21You know what? Y'all seen the Grinch load?
- 1:24They loathe it. They loathe when other people
- 1:28tell them what to do, you know, So Simply put, they don't want
- 1:32to listen to you. That's one.
- 1:34That's one reason they really, truly do not want to listen to
- 1:37you. Because you don't tell me what
- 1:39to do. I'm in charge.
- 1:40I'm in charge. I, I run, I run things here,
- 1:42right. So a lot of them will not do
- 1:45what you ask them to do because you ask them to do it.
- 1:49No. So you, if you want it to be
- 1:51over, if you want to, if you want to, you want to, if you
- 1:55want to do the blocking, so you're doing the blocking.
- 1:57If you want to do the blocking, you want the blocking to happen.
- 2:01You have to be the one that does it.
- 2:04You just do in these situations, you absolutely have to be the
- 2:07one that decides that you've had enough, that decides it enough
- 2:11is like it has, it has run its course with whatever is going
- 2:16on, right. So you have to be the decision
- 2:18maker in these situations. So when this happens, you have
- 2:23to say, OK, I'm done and block them because they don't want to
- 2:27listen to you. They don't want, they don't want
- 2:29to be given directions by somebody that they have
- 2:32discarded or broken up with and whatnot.
- 2:34That's what happens especially when y'all have like especially
- 2:38I feel a ramp bubble coming on especially when y'all have these
- 2:41on and off on and off on and off on, off on off on relationships
- 2:46for years or situation ships. Yeah sooner or later you got to
- 2:50turn it off right? Sooner or later you absolutely
- 2:55have to turn it off right. You have to because if you
- 2:59don't, if you don't, then this is what this is what comes next
- 3:02for you. This is the situation that will
- 3:04will arrive arise from it. You know, so this goes on
- 3:08forever and you what you can waste a lot of time in these
- 3:11toxic relationship dynamics that eventually go nowhere.
- 3:14This relationship is going nowhere and you know it's going
- 3:17nowhere because it's on, off, on, off.
- 3:19So sometimes you got to be want to pull the trigger or you're
- 3:21going to waste a lot of damn time dealing with this person
- 3:23who don't deserve your time, effort, energy, love, lust or
- 3:25whatever money. They don't deserve it.
- 3:28So you I'm just telling you, you don't waste a lot of time.
- 3:30So sometimes you know they don't, they don't want to be
- 3:34told what to do in this scenario.
- 3:36Another reason why they won't block you it's because they're
- 3:39not done with you yet. Y'all.
- 3:42They are not finished with you just yet.
- 3:44They don't like they they, they are not ready for this to they
- 3:48are not ready for this thing to be done.
- 3:53What I mean by this thing is this relationship dynamic,
- 3:55whatever it is like when y'all have an off pier, even if look
- 4:00even if they are not leaving you for someone else, they are not
- 4:04ready for this thing to be done with yet.
- 4:06So they just keep doing this stuff over and over again to
- 4:09mess with you to beat to beat in this abusive situation to be in
- 4:12this manipulative situation. They are not ready to be done
- 4:15with it. You mean you ever seen y'all
- 4:18ever seen The Dark Knight? I've been I don't know why I've
- 4:20been using a lot of Dark Knight references here lately.
- 4:24Y'all ever seen the scene, the scene where Batman Batman has
- 4:27the joker in the the interrogation room and he's like
- 4:31what? Why do you want to kill me?
- 4:34And Joker's like kill you? I don't want to kill you.
- 4:37I'm having too much fun. They're having too much fun.
- 4:41That's it. That's it right there.
- 4:43They're having way too much fun to want to block you.
- 4:47They're getting way too much validation for to want to block
- 4:51you and end it. Why you want to cut it off?
- 4:53Why? Why would they want to cut off
- 4:55such a delicious morsel of narcissistic supply?
- 4:59Why would they want to do that? Well, Lena, I'm just tired.
- 5:03I'm just so tired. I don't have the strength to
- 5:05block. You better find it.
- 5:08You want, you want this to be done with.
- 5:09You want it to be over. You better find the strength
- 5:14with AF3FS, not strength, strength with three FS.
- 5:18You better find the strength because you don't have the
- 5:20strength. You're going to be in this
- 5:22relationship dynamic for a long time.
- 5:24You going to waste though. Look, you're going to waste the
- 5:27prime of your life. I know there can be multiple
- 5:30Proms. You don't waste one of the Proms
- 5:32of your life on someone who doesn't deserve it because you
- 5:37feel like you don't have the strength to block them and be
- 5:40done with it. This will happen y'all.
- 5:43This is what happens. Like they are not done with you
- 5:46just yet. They want this.
- 5:48They want the cycle to continue, but Lee, why did they want the
- 5:51cycle to continue if they're if we just keep breaking up, if
- 5:54it's just over and blah blah blah Doo Doo Doo BBB like
- 5:58they're not done with you. They they like they're getting
- 6:00something from it, right? They are getting something from
- 6:04it. So they they want to keep the
- 6:06door open. They want to keep this access to
- 6:08you like they are not like they want to keep this going on and
- 6:12on and on because they benefit from it.
- 6:14They're still getting some type of narcissistic supply from you.
- 6:17So as long as they're getting that supply, they're not going
- 6:20to cut it off. And because like I said, a lot
- 6:22of times they, the mind of narcissists works where you are.
- 6:27It really, really does. There's a lot of times they look
- 6:30at you as just a piece of supply and they feel like they are not
- 6:36wasting their time because whatever needs that they have in
- 6:40the moment, in these moments, they are getting met by you in
- 6:44some way, shape or form. I know you might not think they
- 6:47do, right. I know, I know you might not
- 6:49think that they are getting they they're getting their needs met
- 6:51because they it keeps being on and off, but somehow, some way
- 6:56they are getting those needs met.
- 6:58They are using you to get their needs met to get some type of
- 7:01narcissistic supply. If they keep coming, yeah, if
- 7:06they keep if they keep on being able to come back into your life
- 7:13and getting that supply, whatever this supply is, money,
- 7:17sex, drugs, whatever it is in these positions, if they are
- 7:23able to keep coming back, why would like why wouldn't they
- 7:26keep coming back? It get it falls into the dynamic
- 7:30y'all that whatever you allow is what will continue.
- 7:35And I'm not blaming you. This is not me being victim
- 7:37blamed or anything like that. But you have to have the power
- 7:40to cut it off or whatever you allow in the situation is
- 7:43absolutely going to continue because why wouldn't it right?
- 7:48Why wouldn't this continue if I'm able to get my needs met by
- 7:52you in some way, shape or form? If I'm able to get something
- 7:56from you because I, because I wanted, right?
- 7:59Why wouldn't I do that? Why wouldn't I handle the
- 8:03situation like this? Why wouldn't I go about doing it
- 8:06in this way? You know, because it's going to
- 8:09be up to you, right? And the last reason I'm going to
- 8:12go over y'all why they won't block you is because they want a
- 8:16backup plan. They always want to like they're
- 8:20not ready to let you go. They want to always have some
- 8:23type of access to you. They want to have some type of
- 8:27access to you in some way, shape or form.
- 8:29They want to be able to come into your life or go out of your
- 8:32life. But whenever they so choose to
- 8:35right, they want to be able to do that at will.
- 8:39They want to come and go at will as they please.
- 8:42Oh, damn, I can come and go as I please.
- 8:44Cool. They want the and like I said,
- 8:47and they want to have that backup play.
- 8:48Let's just say for, you know, for you know new supply sake
- 8:53that they do have a new supply, right?
- 8:55Let's say the narcissist has found a new supply.
- 8:58The toxic person has found a new supply and they don't in like
- 9:03they're not certain about the new supply.
- 9:05The new supply doesn't make them feel as secure as you.
- 9:09Your relationship with the narcissist has been muddied.
- 9:12Y'all been on and off. There's been abuse, there's been
- 9:14toxicity. There might be some line
- 9:15cheating, stealing, whatever has happened, right?
- 9:18Dead new relationship. The new supply is a clean slate.
- 9:22Sometimes they just prefer the clean slate, even if they can
- 9:25still get narcissistic supply from you.
- 9:28But they haven't drained you dry just yet.
- 9:30So they still want to have access to you just in case this
- 9:33new partners, this new partner isn't as good or new partners
- 9:37because this has gone for a long time.
- 9:38There can be multiple new supplies.
- 9:39They can break up with one, come back to you, break up with you,
- 9:41come back to somebody else, back and forth, back and forth, back
- 9:44and forth for years. Yes, I've talked to plenty of
- 9:48people that have been in this situation for years of the back
- 9:51and forth. Oh, we just know they'll,
- 9:54they'll come back into my life and they will be good for a
- 9:57little while and then they'll leave me with somebody else and
- 9:59then they'll break up and they'll come back to me.
- 10:01And the same thing happens over and over again.
- 10:03The longest I've heard this happen to y'all is like 17
- 10:06years, 17 years of being broken up with.
- 10:10They find a new supply, bring up the new supply, come back to
- 10:13you. 17 years. And this woman was mad.
- 10:15She was so, yeah, she was so upset that she didn't get to
- 10:18have kids. She like, she was so upset
- 10:20because she got with this person like in her like in her early to
- 10:24mid 30s and she wanted to have kids.
- 10:26That was his plan, right? Let's have kids. 17 years.
- 10:30She's like in her late 40s, early 50s now.
- 10:33And he kept telling her, I'm going to have, maybe we'll have
- 10:35kept breaking over to come back, come back.
- 10:37And she was super sad, y'all, She has to, she has to live with
- 10:40that regret. You see what I'm saying?
- 10:42Of course you can adopt the things like the things of that
- 10:43nature, you know what I mean? But she has to live with regret
- 10:46because like this person kept coming back into her life all
- 10:48over and over again. She finally got this rent to cut
- 10:51them off and cut them off for good.
- 10:52And it's crazy, it really is. So I just feel like they will
- 10:57keep coming back to you as long as you allow them to come back.
- 11:00They don't. Will some of them block you?
- 11:02Absolutely, yes. Some of them will absolutely
- 11:05block the hell out of you. You mean they will block you, be
- 11:09done with you. All the other stuff they will
- 11:11absolutely will. They'll block you, be done with
- 11:14you. You mean just keep moving?
- 11:15Because this is what they do. This is the type of stuff that
- 11:17they do, but some of them want to keep you around for certain
- 11:21reasons, you know? So if you want to be done with
- 11:23them, if you want this to be over and done with for good,
- 11:27then you might have to be the one that finally, finally
- 11:30decides to pull the plug and cut them off for good and allow
- 11:33yourself that space to heal, that space to grow, and that
- 11:37space to finally be free. But we all know y'all, if they
- 11:40block you, they can just unblock you as well.
- 11:43So sometimes you have to be the one that blocks because if you
- 11:46don't, they can just unblock you anytime that they want to.
- 11:48Even if they do decide to block you and they have a new supply,
- 11:51they can unblock you, but the new supply goes off or whatever
- 11:53happens. Or they can have the new supply
- 11:56and then have you on the side. And yes, some people will allow
- 11:58that to happen. You know what I'm saying?
- 12:01So thank you for tuning into another episode.
- 12:04Make sure you check out joining one of my support groups to take
- 12:06one of my courses. Y'all, we're coming up into the
- 12:08end of the year. Christmas is going to be tough,
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- 12:16Share this with your friends and family members if they can help
- 12:18somebody else. Y'all reach one, teach one each
- 12:20one, teach 1, stuff like that. Anyway, y'all, I'm out.
- 12:23Peace. What's going on?
- 12:25Beautiful folks. Thank you so much for making it
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- 12:49I'm out.