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Farron Dozier Show with Who Would Jesus Christ Be · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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  The station where our veterans voices are heard.
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  MBR talk. Hey, thanks for supporting our
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  channel by watching and listening find.
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  This on the web at MB radio dot US.
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  Theme song is going to play and not I don't want to have it
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  playing in the background and I don't even know.
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  So let's let's let's check and see if the Trench talk theme is
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  going to play this week. Oh, there it is.
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  You're tuned in to the Front Dose show on NB Radio dot US.
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  Trench Pop edition and live sports, sports.
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  Catch me here Wednesday at 4:00 PM Pacific Time only on NB Radio
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  dot US. How did I do?
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  Was that a good thing? It might work.
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  All right, good evening. Welcome to the Front Dose Show
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  on KCAA Radio One O 6.5 FM 1050 AM, also streaming from the KCAA
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  radio.com website and NBR Radio dot US.
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  We got to bless the show. Before we get started, let's go.
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  When it was in my mother's womb, I had a calling on my life to do
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  something in the glory of God and marry it like a wife, commit
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  myself to His word and never be LED astray.
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  And when it's all over, when He comes, I'll be glad to see that
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  day in the morning time. Hey, Mister man, how you doing?
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  I'm good, man. Hey, did you see the game last
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  night? I was your game, but did you see
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  the shot? I lost money from that.
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  Oh man, that shot was. Old.
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  Man. What's the name you really want
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  to know? I do.
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  Exhaustion, muscle spasm, Asthmatic issues, Unexpected
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  sickle cell trait type. Are.
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  You serious? When I was young I found out I
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  had sickle cell trait. My mom's told me but I didn't
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  have no knowledge of it. But when I got older, I had a
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  child and the doctor told me my daughter had sickle cell trait.
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  You know, the fact that both parents have sickle cell trait,
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  there's a 50% chance the child may have the trait and 25%
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  chance the child may have the disease.
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  And that's what's the count. Do you know that 2.5 million
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  people in the United States have sickle cell trait?
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  300 million people globally. I didn't find out I had sickle
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  cell trait until I was in the Army 10 years.
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  Next thing you know I had a sickle cell trait exertion site.
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  April cell. I thought that was a black gene.
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  Or something. Nah man, the black community is
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  number 21 out of 36,000 babies are being born with sickle cell
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  disease. It could be Caucasian,
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  Mediterranean, European. We got rid of bloodline man.
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  There is an inherited gene in our community that has been
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  forgotten. The name is Sickle cell trait.
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  WDCONSCT, also known as What's the Count, is out to bring
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  awareness, education and prevention to people all over
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  the globe. Want more information?
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  Call us now at 323-215-5384 or visit WWW dot WDCON sct.org.
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  All right, welcome to another episode of the Frondosier show
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  right here on the Military Broadcast Radio Network.
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  That's right, MB Radio dot USI want to thank you for tuning and
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  listening in today. As always, we have a very
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  important show for you here. Wednesdays at 6:00 PM.
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  I'm going to say 6 Wednesday at 4:00 PM because on Tuesdays at
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  6:00 PM on KCA Radio One O 6.5 FM 1050 AM.
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  Shouts out to my community. I appreciate the opportunity to
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  be at the Sickle Cell Consortium Conference.
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  Just being able to be in the presence of a lot of my friends
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  that I've met over the last 16 years online as an advocate for
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  sickle cell trade, being able to speak on the trade track with
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  Doctor Austin and Miss Ritchie and Devard.
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  I mean, it was just, you know, always a blessing, always an
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  opportunity to share our stories and to educate our community
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  about sickle cell trade. And I was asked as as I've been
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  sharing on to be a part of the grief conversation of our
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  community. And what can I say?
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  We'd we lost another one of our warriors transitioned.
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  It's such a difficult conversation because after the
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  today's conversation about about this walk with Christ is is is
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  definitely I have to be responsible for my choice of
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  words for my language because we only get an opinion when where
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  and why and how people die. We don't, we don't get no say so
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  in that God knows all of our life spans, right?
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  And so for me as an advocate to, to share and to have
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  conversations in this grief space, for me, it's very
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  important. However, again, I have to be
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  very responsible for my language and my choice of words.
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  And so, and grief is real. Grief is a real conversation and
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  we experience it and there's so many different phases and things
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  that we go through as people say about that.
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  But what I want to say is that don't leave it to chance.
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  Don't leave it to time. There's classes, there's grief
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  support groups, there's grief counseling that you can take to
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  learn about grief. We have to start to figure out
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  what our relationship is to relationships, what our
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  relationship is to time. What's your relationship to
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  grief? What's your relationship to
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  death? What's your relationship to life
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  like we have? What's your relationship to
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  money? We have to figure out what those
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  relationships are that we have and where they came from.
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  A lot of things that we learned in life, of course, we got
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  influenced by by our by our families, by our culture, by
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  conversations, by movies, by videos, whatever magazines.
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  People get influenced by a lot of different things.
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  And so for my sickle cell community that I'm a part of,
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  shouts out to you as we all again, manage our experiences
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  around grief and around these experiences that we go through
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  in life. And so I do want to shout out
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  Darryl, just because I, I was able to meet Darryl in the
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  sickle cell community. We actually did some HBCU tours.
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  I met him in Vegas at a sickle cell walk.
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  So he was not a stranger and to, to, to, you know, come on
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  Facebook 1 morning and, and, and here we are with a, a message.
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  It was something like, no, you got to be kidding me, right?
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  That was my first like you got to be kidding me.
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  And so they did have his, his service recorded.
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  So I'm going to play just a clip of what the pastor here says
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  about him. But I'm great man, Great, great,
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  great man. And when we were in one of the
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  tours, it's, it's funny because I pulled these, these vans out
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  that was like in the bottom of my closet.
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  And it was the actual pair of vans that he and I had bought.
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  They were identical pairs. And, and so you buy one, get one
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  half off. And we was in the mall in that
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  city we were in. And we actually split the cost
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  and we bought because we both like those vans.
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  So we actually bought the vans. And so I actually put them on a
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  couple. I think it was last week Friday,
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  I went to the beach to hang out in.
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  I was like, man, these are the shoes that me and Darrell
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  bought. It was cool.
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  So in grief, what I could say for you, I, I've, I've done my
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  work. I'm not saying I'm, it's, it's
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  something that you learn about and you just walk away from.
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  No, but you can learn how to manage.
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  You can learn how to manage your feelings and your emotions and
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  your behavior and your attitude. For me, grief, you know, in the
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  grief support group that I'm in at the VA, they gave us this
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  book and it actually breaks down grief for me in, in, in a very
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  specific, particular way. And when you look at grief as
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  the label inside of if you have lost, you have more than you
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  have grieving. And each one of those is like a
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  different phase of it. And the biggest thing that I've
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  learned so far being in this grief support group is my
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  identity of who I had to become when my dad passed away.
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  There is a loss, there is a grief identity.
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  And there is sometimes we now have to figure out who am I now
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  that this person is not here anymore.
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  And I was actually dealing with that with myself for the last
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  seven years. I have pretty much dealt with
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  the grieve, the grieving portion of it because I knew that, you
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  know, you know, my dad is where he is.
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  And so the, the heat experience of what I was experiencing
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  missing around him. I, I, I dealt with that in my
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  grieving. If I had to go play music, if I
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  had to cry, whatever those emotions that came up on me when
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  they felt like coming up on me, I, I had to learn how to go be
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  with those feelings and emotions in that grieving phase, right?
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  And, and in the morning phase is what do I do?
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  What do you do in that? When those emotions come up on
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  you, right? What do you, who do you, what do
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  you do you? Some people go to those
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  locations where they spent time with those family members.
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  Some people go and cry, they go read a book, they go play music,
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  they go to the park, you go to restaurants, whatever that is
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  for you, that you do for that loved one.
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  I would say make sure you, you, you go and do that.
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  That's the morning, right? You go and you, some people go
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  to the grave site. Some people, whatever you do,
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  look at pictures, you know, whatever that is for that
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  morning phase, when you feel that, when you're grieving in
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  those emotions and then go, go, go, go where?
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  Go to a place that that gives you that comfort with that
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  person. And and whether it's one of
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  those examples. But the the loss, the loss was
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  the last piece that I had to do look at for myself.
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  And I don't even know that that was even part of what I had to
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  look at for myself. But it was that at the point
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  where I looked at that in that book and it talked about my
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  identity and who I get, who I get to be now as a, as a, as a
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  son without his father, right? That's an identity because I'm,
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  I'm my, I'm my, my dad's son. So that identity of being a son
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  to my dad, who's no longer here, I had to, to sit down and figure
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  that out and look through that. But what helped me was because
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  in my identity of my dad, IA part of me was holding on to
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  that. I wish I had more time with them
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  and by me holding on to that part that I wish I had more time
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  with him. He and I should be on these
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  shows. Like if my dad was alive, best
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  believe he'd be on this show. He would be on all of my shows.
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  We would do shows together. So in my, in my mind, I had
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  those things, those ideas of that we, we still had.
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  I, I needed some time because we were supposed to do these
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  things, right. So if you hear how I'm saying
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  this, how I'm languaging this, I'm saying that like like I had
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  control, like my will. I wanted my will to get done
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  right. I wanted my my my ideas that my
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  dad should still be here. So yes, I was actually holding
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  on to those thoughts of man. I wish he was here.
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  The the men's talks that we do the father son relationship
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  talks that I do like he was supposed to be here.
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  He should have been here. So you hear the words supposed
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  to should have those words sometimes are our own trap our
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  language sometimes traps us how we talk even out loud.
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  And so when I realized that, and then I'm looking at you know
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  what if I'm giving up my views for God's ways for his opinions
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  for his word, his will, then I can't hold on to.
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  I wish I had more time with my dad because that was that was
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  what I thought. That's not what God had planned.
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  So when it's the moment that I was able to look at that and
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  find that space for myself, I was able to be at a level of
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  peace with my identity because I'm no longer dwelling on, I'm
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  no longer thinking about constantly about I wish she was
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  here so we could do these talks. And so getting that.
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  So in this phase of grief, there's, there's, there's phases
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  that you go through. I'm saying don't leave it to
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  time, but I want to play this clip from his transition.
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  I can bring this up on Facebook here, share my screen, do this,
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  do this. Let me see what it looks like
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  over here. OK, that's what it looks like
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  over there. All right, so I want to let's
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  see. Maybe I'll just leave my Oh no,
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  I'm going to go here because I got a box for that boom all
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  right, so we're going to go there we're going to go to
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  Facebook and we're going to play this one minute clip about our
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  our our our friend Daryl. Maybe he didn't hit.
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  It on this side you got to know he's healed.
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  On the other side you got to know he's healed.
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  Now here's the big question. The big question is how do we
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  honor his legacy? How do we not allow his passing
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  his life to be in vain? What do we do now?
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  A couple of things I want to suggest those of you who are
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  part of the Sickle Cell warrior man, you keep fighting.
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  Be bold, honor the work. Sometimes there was pushing.
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  He was. Sometimes they felt like he was
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  pushing by himself. And I encourage those of you who
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  wrestle with Sickle Cell to get together, call each other.
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  If you're going to do it, do it. If you're going to fight, fight.
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  If you're going to bring awareness, bring awareness.
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  Do it. Push, fight.
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  Do it for those of you who are part of his family there.
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  I wanted people saved. All right, let me add myself
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  back to the stage right here. Let me see where we at.
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  We're going to go here. OK, so I'm back on stick.
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  So I'm going to go. I'm just going to go to his page
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  and I'm just kind of flip through some of the things that
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  I found about Darryl. Oh, I got to, you know, I got to
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  go all the way back. So let me see.
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  I need you to see all that right now.
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  So let me drop this over here and have a conversation with
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  you. But that was Darryl, man.
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  And and I appreciate the gentleman sharing about our
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  sickle cell community. If you going to fight, if you
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  don't fight, you're going to bring awareness.
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  You're going to bring awareness and, and, and it's funny.
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  It's not, it's not funny. But at the conference, you know,
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  we, we, our community labels themselves as warriors, right?
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  And, and what I, what I asked them as me being a retired Army
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  veteran of 24 years, I asked them, do you realize the world
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  that comes with being a warrior, right?
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  Because a, a, a warrior in the military, we may not, we may not
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  acknowledge it and we may not realize it when we, when we,
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  when we sign up to, to join the military, whatever branch is
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  that you're giving your life to death.
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  And so are you willing to die for this 'cause right.
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  And are you, are you willing to wear that titled as a warrior,
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  Right. And what does it mean?
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  Because there's a whole world when you label yourself or you
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  identify yourself as a warrior, there's a whole world that comes
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  with that title. And part of that warrior in the
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  military is, is fortunately, you know, some of us pay the
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  ultimate price and give our life.
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  So are you willing to give your life to this cause?
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  And you know what? The men in that men's session
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  that we had, they thought they were like, yeah, they were like,
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  yeah, I'm willing to, I'm willing to die for this, this
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  awareness. And so I just put that out there
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  so people can really hear how you talk about yourself and how
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  you talk to yourself and how you label yourself as these titles.
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  There's a whole world that comes with that.
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  And so, you know, if you're in the hospital and, and you're
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  sick and, and the doctor comes in or nurse comes in and ask you
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  about your sickle cell, that is a perfect opportunity for you to
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  educate them if they're not, if they're not aware.
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  Don't get mad with the nurse because they don't know about
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  sickle cell. Don't get mad with the doctor
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  because they don't know. That is a perfect opportunity
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  that if you're going to advocate for your cause, share that
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  information, share that knowledge with that doctor, with
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  that person. So that's what that is.
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  I'm going to this is Darryl's page right here just so y'all
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  can get a sense of my God, Darryl, man, great, great human
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  being, great dude. Advocate.
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  A matter of fact, there we are. There we are right there.
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  Ain't that something I didn't realize I was right there.
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  So that's Krishan. She passed she transition in
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  2020. That's us in Las Vegas doing one
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  of the sickle cell walks up there supporting and yeah,
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  that's Darrell right there. And yeah, that's, yeah, that's
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  our guy. So we appreciate you, man.
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  We will continue as the, as the gentleman said, to advocate and
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  bring awareness to these causes, 1977 to 2026.
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  That's our guy, man. And we appreciate him for
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  everything that he's contributed.
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  His parents, I met his mom. And like I said, we thank him
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  for all of the work that he's done.
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  And we will continue to honor his legacy, his name.
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  And we got pictures, we got experience, we got memories,
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  bro. So we appreciate you shouts out
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  to Felice that has that that has asked me to be a part of this
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  conversation with our sickle cell community.
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  So all right, so I'm going to play PSA and come right back in.
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  If you've been paying attention to the social media, we are
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  getting it in around the beat attitudes.
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  Get your note pens, papers, get, get your Bible, whatever you're
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  going to use your, your smartphone for your word,
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  whatever. If you're not familiar with the
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  beatitudes, make sure you, you know, challenge, challenge,
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  challenge the spirit by the spirit.
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  So whatever you hear, search your heart, go read about it and
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  and get your Rep, get your own revelation for these
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  conversations, right, Because we have to get our own revelation.
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  You know, we can, we can read the same word in scriptures and
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  each one of us gets a different perspective of it because that's
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  for our walk, for our life. And we don't, we don't know, say
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  that, Oh, your, your message for you is wrong.
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  No, you, you listen to that person, you talk to them, let
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  them, you know, take that word and apply it to their life.
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  You got to apply it. These principles are to be
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  applied. That's why it's called a beat
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  attitude. You got it.
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  There's things that we, there's ways of being that we have to be
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  in this walk. There are things that we have to
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  do in this walk and then there are are things that we have to
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  be and do as a, as a action, right?
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  And so, so when you learn that and you understand that and you
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  understand principles that that's what the word is about.
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  It's about what is governing our hearts?
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  What is governing our hearts? What's governing your mind?
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  What's governing your soul? What's guiding your life?
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  What principles are you used by? Are you used by boundaries?
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  Are you used by unforgiveness? Are you used by hate?
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  Are you used by races? What are what are you used by?
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  Are you used by anger and frustration?
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  Because we we get, we get used by those you use.
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  You can be used by disappointment, you can be used
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  by shame, you can be used by embarrassment.
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  But who you going to be? We're human beings, not human
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  doings. And, and, and the beatitudes as
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  weird as Ariana's going to bring up with you and, and, and we're
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  going to have a conversation with you about these.
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  We just hope that you find something, you hear something
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  for yourself. And like I said, this should be
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  a excellent episode because these are actually some of the
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  things that God has put on my heart after since my seven years
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  of being back in church and going through all the things
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  that I went through the Holy Spirit was like, OK, all the
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  last the last six years. Guess what?
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  Go back to the beatitude. Now.
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  I want you to see where all this stuff plays in, in, in part in
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  your life. And so here we are.
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  He's right on point with me with the stuff that I've been
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  studying and looking at and researching and applying to my
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  life. And so this is this is the
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  conversation coming up. So this is the Frondoza show on
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  the military broadcast radio network, MB Radio.
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  Yeah. Catch us on all your platforms
• 24:43
  after the show. Just Google us on Spotify,
• 24:47
  wherever you get your podcasts. I'm sure you can find this show
• 24:50
  here in the military broadcast radio.
• 24:52
  Oh, and we're on Roku TV as well.
• 24:53
  So if you're watching us either on YouTube or Roku TV, we are
• 24:56
  live right now. So you can go to the military
• 24:59
  broadcast radio channel on Roku and watch us right there in your
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  home. All right, couple of PSA's and
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  then we'll be back. The frondose show.
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  Do you remember studying sickle cell in biology class?
• 25:10
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  familias acever como supera El trastorno de cellulas
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  program are those of the speakers and do not necessarily
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  Find us on the web at NB radio dot US.
• 26:47
  All right, welcome back to another episode of the Frondosia
• 26:50
  Show, right here in the military broadcast radio network, NB
• 26:53
  Radio. My guest is back.
• 26:55
  How you doing man? Man, I'm doing great.
• 26:58
  It's been a lot going on for the past four weeks.
• 27:02
  But yeah, I'm rocking. Yeah, I'm doing good.
• 27:06
  I'm doing good. Cool man, cool man.
• 27:08
  I appreciate you for hanging out today, man, and helping bring
• 27:12
  this conversation forward guidance that this topic with me
• 27:16
  and you know, do me a favor, introduce yourself to the
• 27:19
  listeners, man and the watchers and we'll get started.
• 27:23
  Excellent. My name is Ariana Rogers.
• 27:26
  I was born and raised in Chicago, moved out here in
• 27:28
  California in 2019. I did a pit stop in Vegas in
• 27:31
  2015 to 2019. I would just have to shave for
• 27:36
  where I come from. I've been through a lot, been
• 27:39
  through it all, and God has brought me through it.
• 27:42
  To be out here in California and to be able to.
• 27:46
  I guess he's just pulled me into the next level.
• 27:48
  And the one thing about it is I'm, I'm like a car on the car
• 27:52
  wash. Like my, my gear shift is in
• 27:55
  neutral. And The thing is just moving.
• 27:57
  I have no control of any of this.
• 28:00
  I'm a I'm also a writer, a music, a Music Writer, and I'm
• 28:05
  also a author wrote my first book, first of the four books.
• 28:11
  So the quadrillity of it is the four journeys of spiritual
• 28:16
  warfare. My first book is the biggest
• 28:20
  one. It's actually about my childhood
• 28:22
  from from the time of birth up until 18 years old.
• 28:26
  Pretty interesting to read. If anybody's interested,
• 28:29
  definitely you can DM me on Instagram, social social media,
• 28:33
  Samurai Soga, Tacoma Goss. DM me as my regular name is
• 28:37
  Ariana Rogers on Facebook Messenger and I'll be happy to
• 28:40
  share with you. Donations always welcome.
• 28:43
  You know $5 minimum. But I'm not pressuring nobody to
• 28:48
  do it. I'm actually only wrote the book
• 28:50
  because God told me to write it and give my testimony so people
• 28:53
  can get to know who I am or where I came from to know what.
• 28:57
  Other than that, other than? That man, I appreciate you man,
• 29:00
  again for hanging out today. You know, we, we, we had a
• 29:04
  conversation on the previous episode that we did together and
• 29:07
  we, we both agreed that the Beatitudes was an excellent spot
• 29:12
  to kind of kick off our dialogue, right?
• 29:15
  Of, of, of, of what you brought to the table on that previous
• 29:17
  episode. So I mean, let's just get right
• 29:20
  into it. What do you, what do you want to
• 29:21
  say about the Beatitudes for yourself that you've learned
• 29:26
  and, and and the application process and just, you know that
• 29:29
  scripture itself? And that whole application in
• 29:34
  itself of when Jesus was talking, note that it's in red.
• 29:36
  So that lets you know that was God to begin with.
• 29:39
  A lot of people get confused about the Beatitudes.
• 29:42
  Actually, the reason why it's the Beatitudes, because it's the
• 29:45
  actually the letter B in the beginning of the acronym of the
• 29:48
  word blessed. So you got blessed.
• 29:51
  Is it the man who is poor in spirit?
• 29:54
  Bless. It is the man who mourns.
• 29:56
  Bless. It is the man who's me.
• 29:58
  These things are very important because actually I found out one
• 30:02
  thing about man and men that they don't understand.
• 30:05
  And it's because we lost him when we was children.
• 30:09
  And I can tell you how when we was first born, the first thing
• 30:12
  we learned about was poor in spirit.
• 30:14
  We learned how to be humble when we first got our first hand
• 30:17
  spanked. We I'm sorry, Mama, I won't do
• 30:20
  it again. That's humble.
• 30:21
  You know, we learned how to be meek.
• 30:24
  We learned how to be meek when we saw the cat causes messing
• 30:27
  with our pillows. But we couldn't just throw the
• 30:29
  cat up against the wall. We just, you know, you learn how
• 30:32
  to be meek. You know, when we were children
• 30:35
  growing up to the point of adolescence, that was the time
• 30:39
  where the beatitudes were in us. But then the trauma hit when we
• 30:43
  was in school later in grammar school going into junior high,
• 30:48
  and then the challenges kicked in your first fight on the
• 30:51
  playground. Well, that's the time you to
• 30:53
  make this wasn't even counted for because we we knocking
• 30:56
  somebody clean out like bang, it's over with you going in.
• 30:59
  So you know, we lost it, you know, and off of that first draw
• 31:04
  of blood, the enemy had overtaken us.
• 31:06
  It took us into another realm. Even if we lost the fight or we
• 31:11
  won the fight, it doesn't matter because that was still trauma on
• 31:15
  the end that we protected ourselves from.
• 31:17
  So now we formed ourselves into this false ego that we created.
• 31:22
  I remember I lost all my fights when I was a kid, except for the
• 31:25
  first one in first grade. But the rest of them I lost.
• 31:28
  But that's because I couldn't out in my city.
• 31:30
  We didn't fight one-on-one after first grade.
• 31:32
  After that it was jumping. This is 5 or 10 dudes and you
• 31:36
  getting stomped, you know, automatic.
• 31:38
  It's like you don't you better know Batman skills, marginal art
• 31:41
  skills to drop down at least three before you go down because
• 31:44
  you going down with more than one.
• 31:45
  So that was my thing. I didn't have that much skill on
• 31:48
  me to talk and get one, but I can't get 3-4 and five.
• 31:51
  It's impossible. So I got work, you know.
• 31:55
  But the one thing about it was over the time of understanding
• 31:58
  that we come into the fold of I need to protect myself now.
• 32:04
  Now the kid is wounded, the kid is vulnerable.
• 32:06
  So when the child is vulnerable is listening to that voice to
• 32:09
  say you need to toughen up, you need to do this, you need to do
• 32:12
  that, you need to do this. And that's where the enemy is
• 32:15
  grabbing our young men at the at that age, at ages of 14 and 25,
• 32:20
  around that area where he's starting to feel himself.
• 32:23
  You're starting to walk away from your beatitudes and you
• 32:25
  creating what it is for yourself rather than understanding what
• 32:28
  God has already poured into. So now you're grown and you're a
• 32:33
  grown man. You don't have the Beatitudes.
• 32:36
  You're acting out the mechanics of what you think they are, but
• 32:40
  you're not really getting the thorough knowledge of what they
• 32:42
  are from the word, from what you was brought from and for what
• 32:45
  you was born from. So now you're walking in your
• 32:47
  ego. And then you get your first
• 32:49
  girlfriend in high school because you know, girls and
• 32:52
  still girls in high school. So girls are not women today.
• 32:55
  They're still girls. You know what I'm saying?
• 32:57
  So the girl sees a Ken doll. It sees the one that she was
• 33:01
  playing with in the bedroom, the little Ken doll dressing them up
• 33:04
  and how he's supposed to look and saying in her dream, when I
• 33:08
  become my mama's age, I'm going to have a husband like this.
• 33:12
  And it's the perfect cut out body muscles, you know, jaw,
• 33:16
  face, you know, fancy hair. And then if you raised up in the
• 33:20
  hood, you know, that's trying to roughneck bald head, you know
• 33:23
  what I'm saying? And then you go into the so
• 33:26
  persona of what society teaches you that you're supposed to be
• 33:30
  like aesthetic reference into yourself to what God already is
• 33:34
  stored in. So we're going into that right
• 33:38
  now to understand that the Beatitudes is actually what
• 33:41
  attracts your wife, not just any woman.
• 33:45
  You're white. See the the, the concept of what
• 33:50
  you see on the surface. Like I got my braids in my hair.
• 33:52
  Well, I got braids in my hair because I like braids.
• 33:54
  I got long hair because I like long hair.
• 33:56
  I chose this. This is me, this is Ariana, the
• 33:59
  shirt that I wear, This is what I'm wearing.
• 34:01
  It's hard of Wolverine, but I like Wolverine.
• 34:04
  This is me, this is mine. This is a persona though.
• 34:08
  But the biotics who's inside me will always say that yes, I am
• 34:13
  poor in spirit because I humble myself before God.
• 34:16
  Life threatening situation. True story.
• 34:18
  Just Sunday, I almost lost my life sitting in the pool,
• 34:20
  sitting in the pews, worshipping.
• 34:22
  And I couldn't worship no more. I was under spiritual attack and
• 34:25
  I hit the I hit the bleachers and I passed out holding my
• 34:28
  stomach and the enemy was trying to Take Me Out.
• 34:33
  And I watched my auntie watch off from worship and watch off
• 34:36
  the off the altar and ran down. And it was like in the name of
• 34:40
  Jesus, spit it out, pull it out, let's go.
• 34:44
  And I'm just sitting over here like I threw up and it was
• 34:48
  really coming out. She was delivering me right then
• 34:51
  and there. It was all over the place.
• 34:52
  And just to see my cousin, you know what I'm saying, My play
• 34:56
  cousin come down there and help me clean up the bomb in it,
• 34:59
  clean up while I'm going through it.
• 35:00
  They're all praying for me and they all got me.
• 35:03
  And it was like whoa. And then I got instantly
• 35:06
  energetic and back up to worship and back up with the praising
• 35:09
  and best of believe. When the word came across cross,
• 35:12
  man, I beat my test like King Kong.
• 35:14
  I'm screaming with war cries like dare you devil try it
• 35:16
  again. It didn't work this time.
• 35:18
  You tried to. And the whole point was I looked
• 35:22
  at that. I saw that my auntie was right
• 35:23
  there. So the part where the beatitudes
• 35:26
  was poor spirit of humbleness, understanding that man, I could
• 35:31
  have lost it at that point in time.
• 35:32
  I could have been gone so to understand that I searched for
• 35:38
  righteousness in that in the fact that I saw that God was
• 35:42
  merciful towards me. Pure heart I was in.
• 35:45
  I was in love and awe that my family came to me.
• 35:48
  And mind you once again, this ain't blood.
• 35:51
  This is all spiritual family and this is the part that we have to
• 35:57
  get back to understanding, touching into our beat
• 36:00
  attitudes. Our beat attitudes is basically
• 36:02
  understanding the core principles of what you live by
• 36:05
  and what you stand by. You can have many things to live
• 36:08
  for. You can have money, your
• 36:10
  children, your family, your cars, your assets.
• 36:12
  That's all that comes along with being alive.
• 36:15
  But what are you going to live by?
• 36:16
  I got to That's the question you want to ask ourselves as men,
• 36:20
  really, to be honest with you. What are you going to choose to
• 36:23
  live? I appreciate it, man.
• 36:25
  Thank you. Thank you for that.
• 36:26
  I appreciate you breaking that in and breaking that down for
• 36:29
  the listeners. I want to give you my part of
• 36:32
  that conversation, man, that I realized that I was feeding my
• 36:40
  soul, but my spirit was starving.
• 36:47
  I was so I was feeding. So again, for me, my transition
• 36:50
  out of the military, this is my, this is the military network.
• 36:53
  So again, for me, my transition out of the military was very
• 36:56
  difficult. It was very challenging,
• 36:58
  suicide, ideation, depression, anxiety, having to manage that,
• 37:02
  not even knowing what that was at the time.
• 37:04
  I just knew that how I felt. I knew I had no toughness, but
• 37:08
  that that mental anguish, the space that I had been in from O
• 37:12
  6 to 2011 was, was serious, right?
• 37:15
  And I didn't know how serious it was.
• 37:17
  I just know how I felt. And so, you know, getting my mom
• 37:22
  praying for, for God to give me something to put me on track,
• 37:25
  you know, and he answered that prayer with the person
• 37:27
  development classes that got me on track, got me being able to
• 37:30
  look at what it is to be a human being, the study of being a
• 37:34
  human being. And, and then we, we, we break
• 37:37
  down all these emotional stories that we make up about our
• 37:40
  childhood, about our life. And so as you, you point to the,
• 37:43
  the teenage years, I went back all the way to the 2 year old
• 37:47
  age I can remember, right. So I was a 2 year old decision,
• 37:52
  a 5 year old decision, a six year old decision, an 8 year
• 37:55
  old, an 1114, right. So my, my attack started early
• 38:02
  in my childhood. And so I can only articulate
• 38:06
  that that to you because I've done the work to go back.
• 38:10
  But how the Beatitudes came into play for in the play for me,
• 38:13
  because I'm feeding my soul, you know, and I'm doing mental
• 38:17
  health classes, I'm doing all these personal development
• 38:19
  classes. I'm, I'm doing listening skills
• 38:21
  like I'm doing, you know, grief, even even why I had done the
• 38:25
  grief yet because my dad was still alive.
• 38:27
  But I had maintained my, my soul to where, you know, I was OK, I
• 38:32
  was cool, you know, everything, life, life seemed to be working.
• 38:35
  Everything's going good. And then when my dad
• 38:38
  transitioned in 2019, man, I was just like I, I made, I, I, I
• 38:45
  said something out of my mouth at the time that I didn't
• 38:47
  realize of how powerful our words are until I got back into
• 38:52
  word that I created this space that I, I told myself that when
• 38:56
  my dad died, when I hung up the phone with his caregiver, I said
• 38:59
  out of my mouth, my dad died. I'm done.
• 39:03
  And what my mind did was it started to collect evidence and
• 39:07
  have conversations with me to quit, to give up life, to just
• 39:11
  just shut down, stop doing the radio, stop going to school,
• 39:14
  just just stop the advocacy. Just shut down because your dad
• 39:18
  died, right? I said, I said that out of my
• 39:21
  mouth. And when I hurt myself and I and
• 39:24
  I saw how I was, was going down that path, the spirit reminded
• 39:28
  me like, no, you, you got, you got, you're an advocate for
• 39:30
  sickle cell trade, right? You got, you got a purpose, you
• 39:32
  got passions, you got gifts. If you believe, if you've said
• 39:35
  that you, who you was these last, you know, eight years, 98,
• 39:39
  almost nine years, then how can, how can you walk away?
• 39:43
  Right? So then I was like, OK, cool.
• 39:45
  I put it in order. But then two weeks after my dad
• 39:48
  transitioned, my grandson was born.
• 39:52
  So now I'm in this emotional roller coaster of I'm, I'm in
• 39:55
  this grief with my dad, and then I'm holding my grandson like, Oh
• 39:58
  my gosh. And then you did.
• 40:03
  I got a question. Did you see God in that?
• 40:06
  I didn't see God in that. The soul going around.
• 40:10
  I, I know, right, but I wasn't there yet, right?
• 40:12
  I'm, I'm, I'm feeding my soul. So my soul is trying to maintain
• 40:16
  my mental health, right, stable as possible.
• 40:20
  So then I started talking to myself like, how old am I going
• 40:24
  to be when I die? How old is he going to be when I
• 40:27
  die? How old is And so now I'm
• 40:29
  looking at my own mortality and I'm like, I don't want to live
• 40:34
  like this. Now I learned from, from therapy
• 40:37
  and these classes, right, that hey, I, these principles work.
• 40:41
  So if there's principles that I can apply and learn about, then
• 40:45
  I need, I need to find that. And it's wild because when I
• 40:50
  realized that that spiritual piece was missing, my mom was
• 40:54
  like, son, you're doing good, but you're missing something.
• 40:56
  I'm like, what am I missing? Like you're missing the Holy
• 40:59
  Spirit. And I'm like, all right, so let
• 41:01
  me go do my research. And I found the church that I go
• 41:04
  to now, the ministry of reconciliation, man.
• 41:07
  And I got back in that church, bro.
• 41:10
  And she was, she was right, the Holy Spirit, I have received the
• 41:15
  Holy Spirit at 16, But well, you know, I got the power at 16
• 41:20
  because I was speaking in tongues at 16, but I didn't know
• 41:22
  what to do with I was 16. I didn't know what that was.
• 41:24
  I was just going, you know, 16. OK, But, but in that, in that
• 41:29
  church, I, I heard, I heard my language related to somebody
• 41:32
  else's man. And it was just, it was right
• 41:34
  there again. And I, I told, I went to God,
• 41:38
  like, you know, what man like, I don't want to live like this.
• 41:40
  I, I literally was talking to him like I don't want to live
• 41:42
  like this. You are the God of my
• 41:44
  grandmother and my grandfather, the God of my mom and my dad.
• 41:47
  I, I, I got to find you for myself.
• 41:49
  I hear it's a relationship. I hear these are religious.
• 41:52
  I walked away because of religious conversations right at
• 41:55
  20 years old. So I'm like this time around,
• 41:57
  man, I got to find you for myself and I don't I don't want
• 42:00
  life insurance. That's.
• 42:03
  Why I'm making fire? Insurance, right?
• 42:06
  Yeah, that's what happened to me.
• 42:07
  And then to be honest with you, we share a real, we're like
• 42:11
  right close in timeline of sharing the same exact
• 42:13
  experience. My dad died.
• 42:15
  My dad died six years behind yours since 2025.
• 42:18
  Just last year in February, the day after Valentine's Day, I get
• 42:22
  a phone call from my brother and I'm like, my brother don't ever
• 42:28
  call me. So I'm like, and he said, dude,
• 42:31
  I think you might want to get that ticket.
• 42:32
  It's time to come home. I said OK, My mom called right
• 42:38
  by my step mom called right behind him.
• 42:41
  She's like baby, he unresponsive.
• 42:42
  He ain't understanding nothing. The medication, you know, is not
• 42:46
  taking. His body's not taking.
• 42:48
  He's he's on. As I said, mom tell the doctors
• 42:51
  to leave him alone. And I know why because see, the
• 42:55
  one thing about and I guess this is where you and I didn't have
• 42:58
  that. The word, Yeah.
• 43:01
  The word yeah, the Bible stops the I got deep into my word
• 43:07
  before my dad passed. And I remember Dad 72 years ago
• 43:12
  that he was, he had this feeling.
• 43:14
  So he had that conversation with, I hope I was a good father
• 43:17
  to you, you know, to check out. And I just sat there.
• 43:20
  It was like, you know, being halfway and halfway.
• 43:23
  And I'm like, Dad, you're not going nowhere.
• 43:25
  So you might as well just just hang that up.
• 43:27
  But and you really want to know, just so you do know who in case
• 43:30
  you know, because I can't tell what God going to do.
• 43:33
  I said, Dad, I just wanted you to know you did all that you
• 43:35
  could for me. And you know, Dang what, you
• 43:36
  ain't got no problems with you. You know, we good.
• 43:38
  You know we should. And you going to get back up
• 43:41
  because he's like, I'm going under the night from going to
• 43:43
  surgery. I said, Daddy, you're going to
• 43:45
  be fine. You'll come right up out of
• 43:46
  that. And I swear my mind was thinking
• 43:49
  back there before I got into words to understand that God,
• 43:52
  the, the, the, the whole point of mortality is that God is in
• 43:56
  control. And I know I hear a lot of
• 43:58
  people talk about the, the secret, the powers of the
• 44:01
  universe, laws of attraction. You don't speak anything with
• 44:03
  any doubt. You know, you always say things
• 44:05
  with definite. And I always say that, you know,
• 44:07
  in the name, you know, say, I always say that there, you ain't
• 44:10
  going away. You're good, you're good, you're
• 44:11
  good, you're good. Because I always had a positive
• 44:13
  effect to say, even if he ain't, he's still good.
• 44:18
  That's the concept that nobody ever want to think about.
• 44:21
  You know, like the guy said in the segment when you showed it
• 44:24
  about he's good on the other side, that he's healed on the
• 44:27
  other side. Well, yes, he is.
• 44:29
  Just because we can't see him don't mean that he wasn't
• 44:33
  edified. Just because we don't know what
• 44:34
  it's like to be in that universe or wherever, wherever that
• 44:38
  person is, doesn't mean that we have the right to say that.
• 44:41
  That's a loss. The one thing I'm starting to
• 44:44
  realize when my dad finally, finally just turned it off, you
• 44:47
  know, the, the, the, the respirator and everything slowly
• 44:50
  shut down and he just went gone. I was at peace.
• 44:54
  I cried, of course, because like I said, I cried of course,
• 44:56
  because it was the initial pain of memories.
• 44:59
  We are, we got traditions that we do.
• 45:02
  But then, but, you know, that's just a simple pinch of the flesh
• 45:08
  and the nervous system, right? The next day I was in my word.
• 45:12
  The next day I was praying. The next day I felt kind of
• 45:14
  empty. But the only reason why I was
• 45:16
  empty because I'm now a new person.
• 45:18
  Yeah. You know, I give love to my dad
• 45:23
  always. And that's because he raised me
• 45:25
  for 1 1/2. He took on society and said that
• 45:27
  he's not my blood son, but I'm going to make him my son.
• 45:30
  Yeah. How many brothers back then in
• 45:32
  the 80s was doing that? Not many.
• 45:35
  You see what I'm saying? So to be blessed with that is
• 45:37
  something that we have to look at.
• 45:39
  But the one thing is, is that once you, once you separate from
• 45:43
  your mother and father, you are your own personal at this point.
• 45:49
  So now your mind is going to go through a journey.
• 45:51
  It's going to go through a portal on itself.
• 45:53
  You're going to be in another form of dimensional thinking.
• 45:56
  You're not going to be the same person you were that you was
• 45:58
  when you was a kid coming up because now you're your own.
• 46:02
  Now walking into your own. How does that work?
• 46:05
  Are you going to live into your ego?
• 46:07
  Are you going to take that choice?
• 46:08
  Are you going to live for the world and the ego all the time?
• 46:12
  Or are you going to go on to come to God, which will be
• 46:14
  attitudes? Are you going to come and find
• 46:16
  out who you really are in the court?
• 46:18
  That's the question I ask myself all the time, every day even.
• 46:21
  So now, like even now, I'm still, I'm just not coming out
• 46:24
  of my grieving point. And that's because you know
• 46:27
  what? When I met my godfather, it was
• 46:29
  something that made me acknowledge him as godfather
• 46:33
  because God was in him and told me that would be his title for
• 46:36
  me because he's a prophet. But he read something into me
• 46:41
  way before and but that's what I looked at.
• 46:43
  Dad moved him aside and put him in.
• 46:46
  Yeah. Exactly.
• 46:47
  Why did dad move him aside and put him in?
• 46:49
  Because he's exactly who my dad was, without the flaws of my
• 46:52
  dad. He has his own flaws, but those
• 46:55
  ain't the flaws of my dad. The flaws that my dad had, he is
• 46:59
  not that. That's not the flaws of him.
• 47:01
  Those are his strengths. You know what I'm saying?
• 47:04
  My dad used to be a bodybuilder back when he was younger, but he
• 47:07
  never kept it up. Well, here's my godfather who's
• 47:11
  the same age as my dad or around the same age as my dad.
• 47:14
  He'll a little be younger by a couple of years.
• 47:17
  He still keeps it up to this day, still keeps it up to this
• 47:21
  day, still going to competitions to this day.
• 47:23
  And he's in, you know, up there and it's like early 60s or about
• 47:27
  to be in the 60s. You see what I'm saying?
• 47:30
  So when I look at that and I'm like my man is perfectly fit,
• 47:33
  you know what I'm saying? Been military raised as well as
• 47:36
  my dad was military because she's military trained too.
• 47:38
  He was in the Army also a veteran.
• 47:41
  But now when I look at it also, I look at him and I look at how
• 47:44
  he talks. We laugh and joke the same way
• 47:47
  me and my daddy did. You.
• 47:49
  Know what I'm saying? Now he won't give me 8 hours
• 47:51
  like me and my dad did, but that's OK.
• 47:54
  You know what I'm saying? That's OK, because he still sold
• 47:57
  me, son. Patience, temperance, Beatitudes
• 48:01
  set in. Dad never had to beat Attitudes
• 48:03
  too tough. Now he had paces down to a pack.
• 48:05
  My dad could sit in a toilet room for hours.
• 48:07
  You'll be wondering why he's still not screaming bloody
• 48:09
  murder hot. Because my dad was just like
• 48:11
  that. That's just what he do, you
• 48:13
  know? But there was still other flaws
• 48:15
  of him that he didn't have all the complete set.
• 48:18
  You see what I'm saying? But here's the thing about.
• 48:22
  Yeah, that's what it. Looks like that's what it looks
• 48:26
  like, right? And, and to, to, for me, you're
• 48:29
  pointing to what I, what I, but I've been talking from with my
• 48:32
  partner, Mr. Walker on my other show is what is our ingredients
• 48:37
  as a man? What are our ingredients?
• 48:40
  Who are you when you're under pressure, Who are you, who,
• 48:42
  what, what is that? What are you built of?
• 48:45
  And so that beatitude when, when I when I put it all together, it
• 48:50
  was like I came, I came back to Christ in in 2020 because I was
• 48:57
  poor. I was poor in spirit.
• 49:00
  I was. All year.
• 49:01
  Behind you I was feeding my soul.
• 49:04
  My soul was full, but my spirit was starving.
• 49:06
  And then so I came to Christ literally because my was.
• 49:10
  I realized that I was poor in spirit.
• 49:11
  And that's what that first beatitude is.
• 49:14
  Yeah, then first Beatitude. For who who was the Kingdom for
• 49:17
  is for those who are poor in spirit and and was wild as I'm
• 49:21
  is the second beatitude was mourning.
• 49:25
  Now I'm I'm poor in spirit. I realized and I'm in my my
• 49:31
  interpretation. Of the warning.
• 49:33
  The loss of my dad and it was like I was, I was.
• 49:39
  I couldn't script that bro. It was perfect.
• 49:41
  It aligned perfectly with myself of how I got back into the Word,
• 49:46
  poor in spirit and in mourning. Mourning the catch of that is if
• 49:52
  you ever paid attention, God works on us from the inside out.
• 49:55
  That's why it says seek Iki, the Kingdom first, then let all
• 49:58
  these other things be added on to you.
• 50:00
  In other words, you want the wife, you want the car, you want
• 50:03
  the good life, you want the peace, you want the happiness,
• 50:06
  but that's the whole point. All of that is inside of you
• 50:09
  first and then it amplifies out because it's in your blueprint,
• 50:13
  your spiritual blueprint. So your spiritual your spiritual
• 50:18
  blueprint has to be reconstructed again when you are
• 50:22
  saved and born again. You know when you're going
• 50:25
  through the concept of the world.
• 50:26
  Yeah, the devil wants to say no. You go seeking when you got
• 50:29
  enough money and you got enough this and you got enough that and
• 50:32
  you doing yourself this. But if you ever paid attention
• 50:35
  to why is it always that you got to sacrifice blood, time and and
• 50:39
  money to get those seeds in the world in?
• 50:42
  The. World.
• 50:43
  And that's always constantly, always consistently.
• 50:46
  It never stops. You can't break, you can't shut
• 50:49
  down. You don't have a time for that.
• 50:51
  But see in the spirit when it comes to Christ, Christ paste
• 50:55
  you, Christ develops you and that takes time in itself.
• 51:00
  That's why it says in the book that James consider it all joy
• 51:04
  for the test of your faith breeds patience for blood.
• 51:06
  Patience have its perfect works for you shall be perfect and
• 51:10
  complete lacking nothing. The reason being because through
• 51:13
  time in itself your body is here as long as you here to wake up
• 51:17
  the next day. That's the more grace period
• 51:19
  that's more God is telling you where you need to be at.
• 51:22
  So you're here every single day waking up and the enemy got you
• 51:27
  distracted with all this stuff. I got to go get this, I got to
• 51:30
  go get that. I got to look like this.
• 51:32
  I got to look like that. I got to go I.
• 51:34
  Got to I got to hustle I. Got to.
• 51:38
  I got to. Drive and it's like all.
• 51:42
  Of that and. It's beautiful because when you
• 51:44
  understand, when I, when I put it back in order, because my,
• 51:49
  my, my soul was like my soul was God in my life, right?
• 51:54
  And the work and the work that I did, it did, it made me a better
• 51:57
  person. It, it had me understand myself,
• 51:59
  though it, it wasn't a bad thing.
• 52:01
  I actually became a better person by taking those classes
• 52:04
  and understanding my attitude and understanding who I was
• 52:06
  being and the, how my mind works and all the stories that I
• 52:09
  made-up that wasn't true about my parents and myself.
• 52:12
  I got a lot of opinions about myself, right?
• 52:14
  But you talk about the inside out.
• 52:15
  I had to go inside. And so that work did that.
• 52:19
  But but my spirit was still there's something missing.
• 52:24
  There's something missing that spirit that there is something
• 52:27
  that I have to say that within that missing.
• 52:30
  And when then that part, when something is snatched away from
• 52:33
  this, it never really, it's like a nerve getting hit.
• 52:35
  You know when you first get your first deep moon and you feel
• 52:39
  that shaking your nerve and it hurts like, oh, that's pain,
• 52:42
  like a broken bone. Oh, that's pain.
• 52:45
  You screaming it hurts. No matter, no matter how long
• 52:50
  it's been. You know your body is healed
• 52:52
  from it. You know you got full operation.
• 52:54
  But when it rains, you feel that nice little tingle where it's
• 52:57
  at. When it snows or the temperature
• 53:00
  change, you still feel that tingle where it's at.
• 53:03
  It might ache on some days it may not.
• 53:05
  Because that's what's funny. You're never going to be fully
• 53:09
  healed in the flesh and the body.
• 53:11
  That's the reason why God is going to give us glorified
• 53:13
  bodies in the end, because these bodies are going to perish on
• 53:16
  the letter. So it doesn't matter.
• 53:18
  And we're going to a place, we're going to a place where all
• 53:21
  these emotions, all these heartbreak that goes on with the
• 53:24
  brain as well. And I'm going to bring that to
• 53:27
  the triangle. Understanding the beginning of
• 53:29
  the beatitudes of how to apply them into yourself.
• 53:32
  It's a 9 by 9 by 9 basis. And this is tricked out.
• 53:36
  I found this out. A 9 by 9 right, 9 beatitudes,
• 53:40
  right, Nine elements of the fruits of the Spirit. 9 elements
• 53:44
  that make up the fruit of the spirit.
• 53:45
  Now check this out. There's also 9 battles and
• 53:47
  trials that you deal with on a daily basis as being a believer.
• 53:53
  Temptation, Peace of Mind, fear, unforgiveness, pride,
• 53:59
  distraction, compromise, doubt, discouragement.
• 54:04
  I saw this on the Instagram post when he says these are the 9
• 54:08
  things that every Christian battles every single day and
• 54:10
  they walk. And when I was like I was
• 54:13
  looking through and it's scripture for each one and I was
• 54:15
  like wait 9 And I went back and was like looked at the
• 54:18
  beatitudes and I said 9. Then I want to look at the
• 54:22
  fruits of the Spirit just to see if I'm off track or somewhere
• 54:25
  and it's 9. And here's the thing, they said
• 54:29
  there was a tenth battle, but actually it's all 9 battles
• 54:32
  combined that make up the 10th battle.
• 54:34
  The 10th battles To be obedient, to be obedient to God.
• 54:38
  Because anyone of those could take you off track.
• 54:41
  Any one of those could take you off track. 1's enough.
• 54:43
  Straight to disobedience. Yeah, 1 is enough.
• 54:45
  And that's all it takes. One is enough.
• 54:48
  That's all it takes. And the thing about it is, even
• 54:51
  if so, it's not that God wants us to walk this, this, this
• 54:54
  teeter line of a walking across a tightrope across, you know,
• 54:58
  death. That's not what he's saying.
• 55:01
  He's saying that as long as you have the one path, the one
• 55:04
  mindset, the one mindset means is you stumbled to get back up,
• 55:08
  get back up if you know to get back up and you learn from your
• 55:12
  mistakes and you keep on getting back up and you learn from your
• 55:15
  mistakes and you keep getting back up and understanding.
• 55:18
  Like what? I still see you.
• 55:19
  I still know you in my life. He's always going to hold you
• 55:22
  because he knows you're his. The minute that you fall off to
• 55:26
  your death off that type rope was the day that when you say I
• 55:29
  failed and you know what, I don't really care no more.
• 55:31
  I'm just going to be what it is. That's where you're lost and he
• 55:36
  would give you a chance to escape from that.
• 55:38
  Believe it or not, nobody really pays attention to that, neither
• 55:41
  James, what he said for those who would be tainted, you know
• 55:45
  what I'm saying, that he would give you no First Corinthians
• 55:47
  10/10/13, I believe. He says he'd give you a chance
• 55:50
  to escape your temptation. He give you a chance to come
• 55:55
  back. But if you choose to want to not
• 55:57
  take the chance to come back, that's like the story about the
• 56:00
  dude who said save my life, I'm drowning.
• 56:03
  Lord, send me a boat. He sent them a cruise ship.
• 56:05
  He sent them a chopper. He sent them a lifesaver.
• 56:08
  And homie says no, Lord, I want you to save me.
• 56:10
  And he drowned. He went to God.
• 56:12
  And he's like, I sent you these things.
• 56:13
  You never took it. Yeah, you know, that's the
• 56:17
  thing. It's it's tripped out when you
• 56:20
  really look at it. And here's the thing, the
• 56:22
  Beatitudes get built inside of you and they feel through you
• 56:25
  through time and life and then through this Christ and through
• 56:28
  this walk, through Christ and through this walk with prayer,
• 56:31
  supplication, taking your time and disciplining yourself,
• 56:34
  pacing yourself at the right understanding that God knows
• 56:37
  you. So yourself some grace, so
• 56:40
  yourself some grace. You got to practice, say
• 56:43
  something and then just keep practicing.
• 56:46
  That's the whole point. So we got, we got spirit of the
• 56:50
  morning down. Poor Spirit of the Morning, we
• 56:52
  got that down Pack we got, we got, we got that.
• 56:56
  Down. And we already got meekness down
• 56:58
  pack because we already been we're working on our meekness.
• 57:01
  Me, I'm still struggling on that.
• 57:02
  I got my little points where I glitch where the meekness is
• 57:04
  just doesn't, you know, I might have to, you know, Bustle Will
• 57:08
  Smith on them mind. Your pity still a part.
• 57:10
  Yeah, it's still a part of that attitude that your personality,
• 57:13
  your body language, your behavior, you know, your
• 57:18
  character, all that stuff. And depending on what age or
• 57:22
  when you came to Christ, how many years of that you got in
• 57:26
  there that's already stained in your heart.
• 57:30
  It's. Already.
• 57:31
  Stained in there. It's already stained in there.
• 57:34
  So that meek one, that meekness, that meekness is if, if we, if
• 57:40
  we, if we could practice being that meek, what would the, what
• 57:48
  would the world look like? It would be more of like, I
• 57:54
  would say. I watch a lot of movies, man, so
• 57:57
  you gotta have to forgive me. It would look more like
• 57:59
  equilibrium. You know what I'm saying?
• 58:01
  It's this movie Equilibrium that I always liked about it.
• 58:04
  They were meek. They were trained to be self
• 58:06
  controlled. It was just to the point that
• 58:08
  they didn't use the ideal concept of lack of feeling.
• 58:11
  Lack of emotion keeps a person meek.
• 58:13
  Like Kristen Bell. When you saw him in Equilibrium,
• 58:16
  he was like almost like he was human.
• 58:19
  But then there was a time where he just snapped it.
• 58:20
  He wasn't himself no more. Which brings us to what we call
• 58:23
  the dual nature of men. A lot, a lot of women and
• 58:27
  children and people don't realize when you kick in a dual
• 58:31
  nature, there's a part of us that's like a defense mechanism.
• 58:35
  God made us creatures on this planet, so when we're Christians
• 58:41
  on this planet, that don't mean that we're declawed.
• 58:43
  Lions and tigers and bears are mine.
• 58:45
  We're not declawed at all. We're not declawed just because
• 58:50
  we're Christian. We're not declawed.
• 58:52
  We are more meek. We're wise that we're able to
• 58:55
  roll, but best believe the claws are still there.
• 58:57
  Why do you think martial arts is even a thing?
• 59:00
  MMA. Why you think it's a thing?
• 59:01
  OK, yeah, they're using it for sport.
• 59:03
  That's abusive. That's Worley.
• 59:04
  But let somebody run up on me in the street.
• 59:06
  I know how to defend myself. I'm sorry, bro.
• 59:09
  You get to swing on the yakkin. I'm going to find a way out that
• 59:12
  jam. And you being a veteran, you
• 59:14
  already know you going to go there.
• 59:17
  But here's here's So here's the thing with meek for me, if when
• 59:21
  I practice being meek, it doesn't matter what the world's
• 59:25
  circumstances are going on, I still, I still get to be meek in
• 59:30
  that space. I get to practice it and it
• 59:32
  could be chaos around me and I don't have to.
• 59:37
  Support. To that chaos and then act it
• 59:40
  out in my behavior or whatever that comes out from of course
• 59:44
  I'm going to defend myself if my life is threatened.
• 59:46
  I mean, of course that's a natural, we're going to do that,
• 59:49
  but the meekness of. Because you because.
• 59:52
  You said something because you said something to me.
• 59:54
  A lot of a lot of things that I've been seeing on on our
• 59:57
  social media and just in our culture as I just don't say
• 1:00:00
  social media, but our culture. A lot of these incidences are
• 1:00:03
  happening because I'm a knock you out, right?
• 1:00:07
  And now that person is threatened by you saying that to
• 1:00:11
  them. So what am I going to do?
• 1:00:13
  I'm going to knock you out first.
• 1:00:14
  So now we got to fight because but but just because I said I'm
• 1:00:18
  a knock you out, I didn't put my hands on you.
• 1:00:23
  Right. So the so so, so, so somebody,
• 1:00:26
  somebody was like, well, the guns is the guns are killing,
• 1:00:30
  you know, we're killing each other with the guns.
• 1:00:32
  And then I'm like, and I'm like the the power of the tongue is
• 1:00:35
  just as powerful as that pistol because I can say.
• 1:00:39
  To you. Exactly.
• 1:00:41
  So if I'm in that meekness, even if you come at me with some of
• 1:00:44
  your words, I don't have to defend myself, right?
• 1:00:49
  Because I may respond with, you know, what's going on with you,
• 1:00:51
  my God, Like what? Why?
• 1:00:53
  Right. You know, when it comes to me,
• 1:00:56
  when it comes to brothers, I don't get into older brothers.
• 1:00:59
  For some odd reason, the older I got, the more male friends I got
• 1:01:02
  now, like we are just chilled now.
• 1:01:04
  We don't hang around each other 24/7, but we are just chilled,
• 1:01:07
  you know what I'm saying? And it seems like, and
• 1:01:10
  especially when going to Christ, most of my, most of my battles
• 1:01:13
  and most of my wars have came from women.
• 1:01:16
  I ain't going to lie to you, I keep it straightforward.
• 1:01:19
  And the one thing about transparency is I was emotional,
• 1:01:22
  you know what I'm saying? But that came from having Mama
• 1:01:24
  issues as a kid. Now understanding how to walk in
• 1:01:26
  the man's shoes. Totally.
• 1:01:28
  You know, my dad only can teach you what he can on a mechanical,
• 1:01:31
  practical world level to be good and moral standing.
• 1:01:33
  But at the same time, I still have my emotional genes in me.
• 1:01:37
  I'm still as a human being. And I felt like I'm going to cry
• 1:01:39
  and Weld it out, but you know what I'm saying?
• 1:01:43
  But the one thing I always taught my words to do now, like
• 1:01:46
  what I'm teaching myself to do now is, you know, I think about
• 1:01:50
  my mouth as a gun, right? I respect the weapon.
• 1:01:55
  I got to respect this weapon because this weapon is probably
• 1:01:58
  way more dangerous to any M 1650 Cal 60 Cal weapon in the army.
• 1:02:04
  I can guarantee my mouth can kill somebody faster.
• 1:02:07
  And what I do is I built myself a range, so if I got to shoot
• 1:02:13
  off words, I'm going to shoot it off at the targets, at the
• 1:02:17
  inanimate objects, and I'm going to shoot it off that way.
• 1:02:20
  So if I got to fire them all, I'm going to fire them off.
• 1:02:24
  But what do you do when you go to the range and you firing off
• 1:02:27
  every time you let one loose onto the target, that paper or
• 1:02:31
  you shooting off into the clear blue, you releasing
• 1:02:34
  testosterone, you're releasing tension, you're releasing all of
• 1:02:39
  these things. Now when you're releasing that,
• 1:02:41
  here's the part about it. Now when you go and you ready to
• 1:02:45
  go to gunfire and you go to the range, the more comfortable you
• 1:02:48
  are with your weapon now to respect this game factor.
• 1:02:51
  So now you're not all over the place on the target.
• 1:02:53
  Now you know exactly how to do it.
• 1:02:54
  Now it becomes second nature. Now it's a part of you.
• 1:02:57
  This is how your meekness develops in your body.
• 1:02:59
  To me, this is how I'm using it. This is how it helps me out so.
• 1:03:02
  So, so let's, let's, let's, let's talk.
• 1:03:04
  Let's talk, right? Let's talk because I love, I
• 1:03:07
  love the, I love the, I love the gun range analogy.
• 1:03:10
  But let's let's put it in real time and how we talk to each
• 1:03:12
  other. Now how we talk to each other?
• 1:03:15
  I can't. I can't talk to you.
• 1:03:17
  And I could say I could say no. I could say no, I could.
• 1:03:21
  Say I disagree. Yeah, I could say I disagree.
• 1:03:25
  Just how we talk the tone right? You talk about the gun range.
• 1:03:30
  I'm saying that we could speak to one another and I could, I
• 1:03:33
  could really say some harsh words to you, but in a kind I
• 1:03:37
  can choose my when I learned that I have, I've been using
• 1:03:42
  certain words like I'm busy, like like boundaries, like those
• 1:03:49
  words were my own trap. See our language, our language
• 1:03:54
  can trap us because we a lot of times we just I'm describing my
• 1:03:58
  life to you. I'm angry, I'm frustrated.
• 1:04:01
  I'm but, but I'm not saying where the anger is coming from.
• 1:04:04
  I'm not saying where the frustration is coming from.
• 1:04:07
  So when you talk about the release and the conversations in
• 1:04:10
  the gun range, how am I popping off on folks with my words?
• 1:04:18
  That's why we don't pop off on folks.
• 1:04:19
  That's why I created a range. I pop off in my house at
• 1:04:21
  inanimate objects. I pop off at that painting.
• 1:04:25
  I pop off at that wall. I pop off in my lyrics.
• 1:04:28
  I pop off somewhere else. I'm in my bathroom popping off
• 1:04:31
  of myself just so I don't hurt nobody as much as I need to.
• 1:04:37
  But sometimes this is the thing about practice makes perfect,
• 1:04:40
  but sometimes it's not all like that in the beginning.
• 1:04:42
  This is the reason why the beat attitudes have to be stored in
• 1:04:44
  it. That's why meekness is very
• 1:04:46
  important. You train yourself to be meek.
• 1:04:48
  That is something that you just born with it.
• 1:04:50
  You can just turn on and turn off because instinctively, well,
• 1:04:53
  you know who you are on the inside.
• 1:04:55
  You have a dual nature. You have your defense
• 1:04:59
  mechanisms, right? And when they're kicked off and.
• 1:05:02
  They automatic. They sometimes they automatic.
• 1:05:05
  Yeah, they're automatic. They're instinctive as soon as
• 1:05:07
  you pop off. And I remember back when I was
• 1:05:09
  going to church at the beginning, man, I was popping
• 1:05:11
  off like a rock. Sister got mad at me.
• 1:05:14
  I called her straight out of our name.
• 1:05:15
  I'm not tripping. I'm not even I'm, I'm, I'm that,
• 1:05:18
  I'm that volatile. I like, I go buck.
• 1:05:21
  But over time, the understanding that that's not what God asked
• 1:05:27
  of us. And here's the reason being you
• 1:05:28
  got to be able to see God as not just the external, but you got
• 1:05:33
  to see God inside you to know that he's inside you and he's
• 1:05:36
  using. Then you also have to see God as
• 1:05:39
  someone else because God is using them too.
• 1:05:42
  So the people you are popping off on, guess who you popping
• 1:05:45
  off on that you're popping off at?
• 1:05:47
  The Almighty they're inside you. Here, here, here's here's the
• 1:05:52
  notes that I made for myself, right?
• 1:05:54
  And and we point to humility. That is one of the most common
• 1:05:58
  words we want for for one another.
• 1:06:01
  Our our and our our soul wants to experience humility, but it's
• 1:06:04
  hard for the soul to experience humility when you got your mind
• 1:06:07
  will and emotions with all the stuff that you talking about the
• 1:06:11
  nine different things. That we did in our hearts.
• 1:06:15
  No, with the with the with the things that we deal with in our
• 1:06:18
  in our soul, those egos, those battles, bro, how can how can
• 1:06:24
  you experience me in your soul, humble humility in your soul
• 1:06:29
  when you have all this other stuff mixed in the background
• 1:06:33
  right. So it's a.
• 1:06:34
  Challenge. It's a challenge.
• 1:06:37
  Right. So, so, so with that, people say
• 1:06:41
  I want, we want, yeah, we can teach humility.
• 1:06:44
  But first I had to see. I had to measure my own humility
• 1:06:49
  for myself first. That's what I'm learning.
• 1:06:54
  I wasn't humble. I wasn't.
• 1:06:55
  I didn't. I didn't have humility toward
• 1:06:57
  myself. I talk, man.
• 1:06:58
  I talk crazy to myself. Man, do you know, and I'm going
• 1:07:02
  to be honest and transparent, I got a mass to get, I get
• 1:07:05
  emasculated all the time. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:07:08
  And like I said, my biggest enemy back when I was coming up
• 1:07:11
  was women. I never had a problem with
• 1:07:13
  those. So to even my own mother, when
• 1:07:16
  she used to mind off of me, I used to fight back.
• 1:07:18
  I wouldn't even settle for that. I was like I was not in the form
• 1:07:22
  of you didn't put anything into me.
• 1:07:25
  To me give you that title to say I reverence you because God told
• 1:07:28
  me to. It was that I was unsaved and I
• 1:07:30
  was definitely to the point where I didn't even care about
• 1:07:33
  that much. So to have any woman outside of
• 1:07:35
  my mother come at me just the same as my mom would come at me.
• 1:07:39
  That's the part that gets me type things of now I don't see
• 1:07:43
  you no more. I see you should see worrying me
• 1:07:45
  right now. And the one thing was I would
• 1:07:49
  literally now I when I get in when I have gotten masquerade
• 1:07:54
  recently, I'll go home and I'll cry.
• 1:08:00
  See, men are scared to let that out because the society in this
• 1:08:05
  world and what the devil tell you?
• 1:08:06
  If you cry, you're a punk. If you cry, you express your
• 1:08:11
  feelings. You, you, you be made.
• 1:08:13
  You ain't you ain't, you ain't standing up.
• 1:08:17
  And then women drillers nowadays, these young women out
• 1:08:19
  here be like, oh, he crying. He got to be a bit.
• 1:08:21
  Oh, no, I can't have nobody like him.
• 1:08:23
  I don't know. That's where they go.
• 1:08:24
  That's where they go. The concept of that is you
• 1:08:31
  emasculating us because you're not understanding that we're
• 1:08:33
  still human in the process. Next time, and I always say
• 1:08:37
  this, I said let me know when you see a serial number.
• 1:08:39
  And I came off the assembly line and I was supposed to be a
• 1:08:41
  machine. I'm sorry I wasn't made to be
• 1:08:45
  your Gucci purse. I'm a human being.
• 1:08:48
  So yes, I have emotions just like you do.
• 1:08:51
  It's just that my brain patterns are different than yours.
• 1:08:56
  So the perception. Patterns.
• 1:08:59
  Yeah, it's a processor pattern. So I'm not right out here trying
• 1:09:02
  to look beautiful and break wrists and walk with broken
• 1:09:07
  hips. That's not me.
• 1:09:08
  I don't have broken hips, elbows and knees.
• 1:09:10
  I'm sorry. I'm a man.
• 1:09:12
  There's a difference in that, the process of progress,
• 1:09:15
  programming. What makes us cry is we cry
• 1:09:17
  under God. That's why when I go home, I go
• 1:09:21
  home and cry because I go home and I ask God, why is this
• 1:09:25
  happening, Lord? Because nine times at the time
• 1:09:27
  we're crying, it's that spiritual child in US, which is
• 1:09:31
  the spiritual boy, not the spiritual man yet, that has been
• 1:09:34
  hit by the enemy. And we are crying on to God, who
• 1:09:38
  is Omni, which is mother and Father, just an entity in this
• 1:09:42
  stuff. You see what I'm saying?
• 1:09:43
  Be in the Spirit, the Holy Spirit.
• 1:09:45
  We're asking Him to help us. You mean something?
• 1:09:51
  You know what I'm saying? And that's where our tears come
• 1:09:53
  from. And then you see warriors on the
• 1:09:55
  battlefield. Yeah.
• 1:09:56
  They have what they call a war cry.
• 1:09:58
  That war cry is either a victory or out of desperation of life or
• 1:10:03
  death. Yeah.
• 1:10:04
  So either way, they're good. What are they?
• 1:10:06
  Who are they crying out to? They're not crying out to the
• 1:10:08
  enemy so they can hear them. They're crying out to God to
• 1:10:10
  say, now, you about to catch me coming with the battle of God
• 1:10:13
  like David. David was like, who are you,
• 1:10:15
  Goliath? I don't care who you are.
• 1:10:17
  You about to cast these stones? Here it is, you know, and that's
• 1:10:22
  the man and. And it's for me, you know, I
• 1:10:26
  appreciate you because we, we, we have the same scripture and
• 1:10:29
  we apply them to our different parts of our life differently,
• 1:10:31
  right? And for me it was, it was being
• 1:10:36
  able to trust God, right? Because I lived into the future
• 1:10:41
  of uncertainty, which was my anxiety, because I need to
• 1:10:44
  control my outcomes. So now that I can't control my
• 1:10:48
  outcomes with my career coming to an end and I don't know
• 1:10:51
  what's going to happen to me now, because now everything is
• 1:10:53
  about to change. I lost.
• 1:10:55
  I felt like I lost control of my life.
• 1:10:58
  I can tell. You what I was.
• 1:11:02
  And then coming to Christ and then coming back to coming back
• 1:11:05
  to, you know, to, to, to Christ and like, OK, the Scripture that
• 1:11:09
  says trust, trust, trust in the Lord and have confidence in man.
• 1:11:14
  A lot of times we say, Oh, I, I don't trust you, Ariel, I don't
• 1:11:17
  trust you. I don't trust you.
• 1:11:18
  But guess what? I'm not supposed to trust you.
• 1:11:20
  I'm supposed to have confidence in you, right?
• 1:11:23
  A measure and, and then a measure of confidence.
• 1:11:26
  So that when I take that confidence and, and expect you
• 1:11:29
  to give me 100% of your confidence, I have to measure
• 1:11:32
  myself. And guess what?
• 1:11:33
  I don't have 100% confidence. So now I can't expect you to
• 1:11:36
  give me your 100%. So they're not as I measure
• 1:11:38
  myself. Well, I got about 80%
• 1:11:40
  confidence. And then I can.
• 1:11:42
  I can at least give that away to you, right, For confidence.
• 1:11:46
  But then it was my, it was my life.
• 1:11:48
  But remember, I came back because I was poor in spirit and
• 1:11:51
  in the morning. So now my life is out of
• 1:11:53
  control. Do I trust in the Lord?
• 1:11:57
  Do I trust God? Now I have to reframe that soul
• 1:12:01
  right to say hey look man, we got to have a conversation bro,
• 1:12:05
  we this my spirit is going to lead my life now and guess what
• 1:12:09
  we going to go see what God has to say about this controlling.
• 1:12:13
  Well, look at this very real time explanations.
• 1:12:15
  You just said the confidence to have confidence or the lack of
• 1:12:18
  confidence or the trust of confidence.
• 1:12:19
  Here's the thing, both of us trust in the Lord.
• 1:12:21
  So now we just put God in the center of our relationship and
• 1:12:25
  then guess what happened? Now I'm confident in you and
• 1:12:27
  you're confident in me, but it that took time, though.
• 1:12:30
  That didn't happen overnight. But that's what I'm saying.
• 1:12:33
  But I had to. I had to get that for myself
• 1:12:35
  first. Hey, I had to.
• 1:12:37
  That's how you got to where you at.
• 1:12:40
  I had to measure my so when I got that, when I got that, that
• 1:12:42
  I got to measure myself, it was it was perfect because I could
• 1:12:47
  take those principles and apply to my life and see what is it
• 1:12:51
  like for a Ferran. First, let me get this for
• 1:12:55
  before I start telling you what you need to do with your
• 1:12:57
  confidence to give it to me. I'm not even giving you my
• 1:13:00
  confidence because there's a part of me that is fractured
• 1:13:04
  from those childhood emotions and those, whatever that those,
• 1:13:07
  those things were that fractured that level of my my sense of
• 1:13:11
  belonging to myself, my own self love, my own self esteem, my own
• 1:13:15
  self worth. That gets fractured.
• 1:13:17
  As you were saying earlier in the beginning, that some point
• 1:13:19
  those those that self love became outside of me and and and
• 1:13:25
  you know, people have people have the power over me to say
• 1:13:27
  something and make me cry that could say something to hurt my
• 1:13:30
  feelings. But once you restore your own
• 1:13:32
  self loving your self esteem, and then there's nothing you can
• 1:13:35
  say that can hurt me unless I already think that it hurts me
• 1:13:41
  already. And then it's like how?
• 1:13:43
  That's why I'm growing in You can't.
• 1:13:44
  Say that you can't say that to me.
• 1:13:46
  How you know, how you know that I'm weak in that area?
• 1:13:49
  Like you can't say I'm not going to let you speak to that, but
• 1:13:51
  because I'm whole. Right.
• 1:13:53
  I'm like, Oh yeah, you know what you write, my guy?
• 1:13:55
  I am hurt right there. I appreciate you for saying how
• 1:13:57
  did you see that? Right.
• 1:13:59
  See, now you don't. Have you know I have?
• 1:14:00
  My power back. Yeah, you have it back.
• 1:14:04
  Because once you once you know yourself, then it's not a shock
• 1:14:08
  to anything that people could tell you anymore.
• 1:14:09
  I. Have.
• 1:14:11
  Nothing like I realized like, yeah, after a while, like
• 1:14:14
  because it's the stick, but it's running around about me being, I
• 1:14:16
  don't know, I I can only explain it as my own ways.
• 1:14:23
  You know they come. They, you know the past.
• 1:14:25
  People like to to catch that past you, of course.
• 1:14:29
  They. Will still and it's like for our
• 1:14:32
  past. Exactly.
• 1:14:33
  And it's like to tell you the truth, I could care less now you
• 1:14:36
  know what I'm saying. The first thing, the first thing
• 1:14:38
  they think is if I'm talking to a sister or I'm just getting to
• 1:14:42
  know somebody, I'm being a human being.
• 1:14:44
  I'm an establishing connection. You're trying to get you're
• 1:14:48
  trying to get with her. You're trying to hit on her.
• 1:14:49
  You're trying to oh, oh, you, you, you macking her.
• 1:14:52
  And I'm like, all right, so I'll take all of this is supposed to
• 1:14:56
  be a mute. Then when we want to get to know
• 1:14:58
  somebody or just talk with somebody, we can't have no
• 1:15:00
  conversation because the first thing that happens the opposite
• 1:15:04
  sex, you can't have no conversation.
• 1:15:06
  We can't even have this conversation.
• 1:15:07
  No, no, don't try. Don't even say nothing because
• 1:15:10
  the first thing, girl, he's trying to wow, I can't even say
• 1:15:16
  hello. We're just saying hello.
• 1:15:18
  Oh, no. The whole point is just like
• 1:15:23
  when I look at that and I was like, man, when I was going
• 1:15:25
  through that, I was like, it's, it's this big stigma on me
• 1:15:28
  because of certain speculations that have been brought up about,
• 1:15:33
  of course. But to me, I look at it as now
• 1:15:38
  I'm like, you know what? I don't care what you say
• 1:15:41
  against me anymore. You know why?
• 1:15:45
  Because I know God sees me out of anybody else.
• 1:15:48
  Yeah. I could care less if you want to
• 1:15:50
  treat me like the Poison Ivy of the congregation or Poison Ivy
• 1:15:56
  of life or whatever you wherever you see me at.
• 1:15:58
  I don't care if you dump and dive behind bullets just to keep
• 1:16:02
  on interacting with me that just let you know that God showed me
• 1:16:06
  who you are but. But but.
• 1:16:09
  That lets you know who God is. Me.
• 1:16:11
  You know what I do when people see me from my past?
• 1:16:15
  You're right, you're right. I was I was a player.
• 1:16:18
  If that's how you label me back as a in the past, I didn't know
• 1:16:20
  that I was running from my myself from I was self
• 1:16:23
  sabotaging relationships. But if you see me as a player
• 1:16:26
  from my past, OK, I appreciate that.
• 1:16:29
  Let's let's. Talk about it.
• 1:16:30
  I was never, I was never a player.
• 1:16:33
  The one woman at a time, Yeah, I'm saying.
• 1:16:38
  The late, but I'm saying even even for for and I'm, you know,
• 1:16:41
  shout out to my mom, but even your parents sometimes will
• 1:16:44
  still see you as your past. So sometimes people will still
• 1:16:51
  friends and family will still remember you from those
• 1:16:54
  fractures and those behaviors and still think that's because
• 1:16:57
  oh, you know why? Well, because I know you.
• 1:17:00
  So if you, if so, if you know me, then you, you, you're no
• 1:17:04
  longer. There's no longer there's no
• 1:17:05
  more wonder in how I can grow and develop because I'm a human
• 1:17:09
  being. My brain is malleable.
• 1:17:11
  I can grow up and develop. I can change.
• 1:17:12
  I can learn. I can.
• 1:17:14
  But if you think that, you know. It is.
• 1:17:16
  Then you're no longer listening to me from another version of
• 1:17:19
  myself. You're not you because you've
• 1:17:21
  got me at a 5 year old or a 14 year old person like you know
• 1:17:24
  me. No, you don't know me the the
• 1:17:26
  moment I gave. You.
• 1:17:29
  It allow it allow me to listen to you, to listen to people and
• 1:17:32
  Oh well, how did you? Well, where you, where did you
• 1:17:34
  get that from? Not because I know what you're
• 1:17:36
  going to say to me already. No.
• 1:17:37
  Where you where'd you learn that?
• 1:17:38
  Where'd you get that from? Now you can have a conversation
• 1:17:40
  and I might hear something brand new about you that I've never
• 1:17:43
  heard. But here I am thinking that I
• 1:17:45
  know you so that I'm going to treat you of when I know which
• 1:17:48
  is that behavior or that character or that personality
• 1:17:51
  when I'm I'm grown, I'm I'm not the same person I was at 14.
• 1:17:56
  It's the thing, even already being grown, even already being
• 1:18:00
  grown, I'm not the same way I was three years ago.
• 1:18:03
  I'm. Exactly.
• 1:18:06
  I'm not even the same way I was. The same for.
• 1:18:08
  Last year. No, exactly you never.
• 1:18:13
  Are you never are. The whole point is, is that as
• 1:18:16
  long as we keep breathing and we keep living inside the temporary
• 1:18:18
  body, just because we see the shell in the outside of what is
• 1:18:21
  the outside appearance of a person doesn't mean that they're
• 1:18:24
  the same thing that you saw late yesterday and the day before.
• 1:18:27
  Don't you know inside your brain there are neurons firing in
• 1:18:30
  different directions at all times.
• 1:18:32
  We're trying all different types of habits and different things.
• 1:18:35
  We're thinking of constantly new ideas.
• 1:18:38
  Do you see the power of God? That's if you ever every single
• 1:18:40
  time that your brain fires off something different first you
• 1:18:43
  want grapes now you want watermelon.
• 1:18:45
  Do you not understand the concept of this stuff constantly
• 1:18:48
  changes over time and the constant changes every second
• 1:18:51
  every time you breathe As a matter of fact, you may smell
• 1:18:54
  roses the first time you breathe in and then you may smell trash
• 1:18:58
  the next time you breathe in and then you don't understand what's
• 1:19:01
  going on. Do you know the brain is
• 1:19:03
  constantly processing that and moving around that,
• 1:19:05
  reconfiguring constantly. So when you look at yourself and
• 1:19:09
  then like even from the 1st 2 episodes, from the group meeting
• 1:19:13
  to the first serving on the 14th to now, do you see?
• 1:19:16
  I totally never do. Every single time you're going
• 1:19:19
  to run into somebody different, but you destroy the chances.
• 1:19:23
  You destroy the chances of whom God sent for you.
• 1:19:26
  Just my city here. Constantly looking at the shell
• 1:19:29
  and not understanding is the Beatitudes are all that you need
• 1:19:31
  to pay attention to because that's how you line up.
• 1:19:35
  That's how you line up. I want to learn that from
• 1:19:37
  watching The Chosen, the chosen as so John, what's his name,
• 1:19:41
  John Rooney. John Rooney is the actor of
• 1:19:43
  Jesus. OK, so he's acting out Jesus and
• 1:19:46
  Matthew's writing down the Beatitudes at this time.
• 1:19:49
  This one made me come up with it.
• 1:19:50
  So he was like, he said all the Beatitudes.
• 1:19:53
  Matthew's writing it down on the Beatitudes.
• 1:19:55
  Matthew's writing it down. And then we came down to the 9th
• 1:19:57
  Beatitudes. He looked at Matthew personally.
• 1:19:59
  And so he said. And so blessed is you.
• 1:20:04
  For those who persecute you and say revile things about you,
• 1:20:07
  because Matthew was always picked on.
• 1:20:09
  Matthew was always cut up because he was the tax
• 1:20:12
  collector. He betrayed us.
• 1:20:13
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then wait, when he looked at
• 1:20:17
  him, he said. And then Matthew spoke out to
• 1:20:20
  him in the in the in the show and said, well, what are these
• 1:20:24
  for? He said, these are the things
• 1:20:26
  that you should look for if you're looking for me.
• 1:20:29
  Me. God.
• 1:20:30
  Yeah, so the B attitudes, when I looked at that and I looked at
• 1:20:35
  how innocent it was back then when we didn't have all of this,
• 1:20:38
  it was just more like Romans com was just conquering and you had
• 1:20:42
  to just live life, eat, survive and not get killed but
• 1:20:45
  disrespect the Roman because Romans, you know were over you.
• 1:20:50
  So when you look at the simple concept just dies the Roman
• 1:20:53
  soldiers, but the rest of life you can enjoy.
• 1:20:56
  That was enough. So if that was the case, that's
• 1:21:00
  why it's so much easier to see that they were still the
• 1:21:03
  innocent selves from the child to grown men being apostles and
• 1:21:07
  disciples where they still saw that them.
• 1:21:10
  That's why I know later on, I think it was the last episode of
• 1:21:12
  the of the fifth season when Jesus came back from praying and
• 1:21:16
  he asked the God to pass his cup from him.
• 1:21:19
  But God said, no, you're going to go through this.
• 1:21:22
  And he went back and saw the saw James Angel and Simon and Peter
• 1:21:28
  sitting there, children laid out, passed out.
• 1:21:31
  And he looked at him and he just smiled.
• 1:21:32
  He was disappointed, but he was smile because that was the sign
• 1:21:37
  of understanding what the Beatitudes was.
• 1:21:39
  That's being the child of God. So all of these are lining up
• 1:21:43
  and filling into your aspect of these things.
• 1:21:45
  When you're going through these things and you being trespassed
• 1:21:47
  and you hear the prayer, the holy prayer, it tells you right
• 1:21:50
  then and there, forgive me for those who trespass.
• 1:21:52
  Forgive me for my trespasses and for those who trespass against
• 1:21:55
  us. What's that?
• 1:21:56
  The beat? That's a beat attitude right
• 1:21:58
  there. That's called being merciful.
• 1:22:00
  Blessed are those who are the merciful for say they are
• 1:22:02
  obtaining mercy. Then when you go into the pure
• 1:22:05
  of heart, that's who you were as a child.
• 1:22:06
  When you as pure of heart, when you walk to that girlfriend on
• 1:22:09
  the playground and you had that nice little extra carton of
• 1:22:12
  chocolate milk and said I wanted to give this to you, do
• 1:22:16
  something nice as a boy to a girl.
• 1:22:18
  You was that be that's not be added to the pure of heart.
• 1:22:22
  You weren't thinking about, you know, getting the skins you
• 1:22:25
  weren't thinking about. If she's gonna reject me if I'm
• 1:22:29
  not. Exactly, you wasn't thinking
• 1:22:32
  that now that that when she threw the milk back in your
• 1:22:34
  face, he said now I'm going with Junebug.
• 1:22:36
  There you go. You first.
• 1:22:38
  You felt your first child. What was it?
• 1:22:43
  It was the end of the world you could take, but that's the pure
• 1:22:46
  heart. These are all the natural
• 1:22:49
  elements of the beatitude that men could get the back into
• 1:22:52
  them. Understanding the lack of
• 1:22:53
  wisdom, men, was the reason why you went through those things
• 1:22:56
  having the Beatitudes. But bring that back to yourself
• 1:23:01
  with the wisdom you have gained throughout your life today,
• 1:23:05
  that's going to establish you. So you know, now me being a
• 1:23:09
  player, I'm not about to go in here to get no girl little extra
• 1:23:12
  chocolate milk. That's just dumb.
• 1:23:13
  She ain't thinking about no chocolate milk right now.
• 1:23:16
  You see what I'm saying? So now I'm not going to come to
• 1:23:18
  her trying to impress because that's the first thing we learn
• 1:23:21
  to do, being in my ego. Now, I'm going to let my
• 1:23:23
  Beatitudes go in. I'm going to let God just ride
• 1:23:26
  in me now. I'm going to walk through TSA.
• 1:23:29
  She can be. Like, oh, you different, are
• 1:23:32
  you? You don't act the same.
• 1:23:34
  What is? That exactly.
• 1:23:36
  What? Exactly.
• 1:23:38
  And that's that's how that rolls because she's not attracted to
• 1:23:42
  what your persona is. I got braids in my head.
• 1:23:45
  I went up to I went up to church.
• 1:23:47
  I mean, I had the whole shebang, all the gear and get up.
• 1:23:51
  But to tell you the truth, I did that for me.
• 1:23:53
  I didn't do that for her. I didn't do that for nobody.
• 1:23:56
  I just like what I like. I got Assassin's Creed pants.
• 1:23:58
  I bought them. I'm going to wear them, you
• 1:24:00
  know, I'm saying I got me a rose shirt that looks so fire with
• 1:24:04
  the yellow and the red bleeding into the yellow and it looks
• 1:24:07
  raw. I was like, I like that.
• 1:24:09
  Why do I like that now? I never liked that before, but I
• 1:24:12
  like that now because I like art.
• 1:24:13
  I like the way it looks. So I was like, I want that for
• 1:24:16
  me. I like that and people was like
• 1:24:18
  dog, I like what you're rocking. It's awesome dog.
• 1:24:21
  Oh, man, I I want that. Where'd you get that T Bo?
• 1:24:23
  Oh, wow, blah back. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:24:26
  It's like, but I'm not doing it for the glamour or the
• 1:24:29
  attention. I'm doing it because that's what
• 1:24:31
  I like right now when I'm starting to grow into myself now
• 1:24:36
  to be attitudes are there to say I thank you a humble in spirit.
• 1:24:40
  You see what I'm saying now I'm going through the life of just
• 1:24:43
  doing what God in me is doing. Man has to see God in himself
• 1:24:48
  1st and that's what your journey was.
• 1:24:52
  The journey was finding God in yourself.
• 1:24:54
  You got to see God when he's talking to you on the internal
• 1:24:58
  right now I took I'm taking the career flop.
• 1:25:00
  Thank God I've still got my FEHA.
• 1:25:03
  Thank Lord, you know what I'm saying and my job is still
• 1:25:06
  saying we want you back. We just, you know, we got you,
• 1:25:08
  don't worry. And I'm still sitting here like
• 1:25:10
  wow. And then my doctors say here,
• 1:25:12
  you know, I'm saying we're going to give you up to 8 weeks for
• 1:25:14
  your disability, but that's the Max we can give you.
• 1:25:16
  OK, cool. Then I got my lawyers saying,
• 1:25:19
  OK, we speed up the case. Mr. Rogers, you're about to kind
• 1:25:21
  of have them help you out to settlement.
• 1:25:22
  Now, I've been up here the whole time wondering how I'm going to
• 1:25:24
  feed myself or how I'm going to go through all this.
• 1:25:26
  When I was sitting here with an injection in my neck and an
• 1:25:29
  injection in my knee, and I'm about to get another injection
• 1:25:32
  in my hip, and I got to go through two more of them, you
• 1:25:36
  know, and I'm sitting here. I'm sitting here like, right.
• 1:25:40
  All the changes of events that I couldn't control.
• 1:25:43
  But God said the whole time while I'm sitting at home, I'm
• 1:25:47
  about to be in you, You're about to be in me.
• 1:25:50
  All you have to do is just let it happen.
• 1:25:52
  Now I go downstairs. No.
• 1:25:54
  And I'm like, I'm not behind on a lot of stuff right now because
• 1:25:56
  I ain't got no bread really, You know what I'm saying?
• 1:26:00
  I got bread, but I ain't got bread, really, you know what I'm
• 1:26:02
  saying? And the whole point is that I
• 1:26:04
  know, but I'm not worried about it.
• 1:26:05
  I go downstairs with the joy I thought to my landlord dead in
• 1:26:08
  his face and be like, Hey, what's going on, man, Man, the
• 1:26:10
  Lord, It's what's going good right now.
• 1:26:12
  And I always say God, Jesus name.
• 1:26:15
  I said it so much that I got a lady running around here mad at
• 1:26:18
  me and call it and say it F me. Every time I say Jesus, I'm
• 1:26:21
  like, see, that's that spirit of operation right there.
• 1:26:23
  You see that? You see that right there, you
• 1:26:24
  see that? You see that when you say Jesus,
• 1:26:27
  they get stirred up, you know? But I'm like, I'm walking around
• 1:26:31
  with joy, having people laugh and these people were like,
• 1:26:34
  dude, you're good. Don't worry about it, man,
• 1:26:35
  You're blessed. Don't worry about it.
• 1:26:37
  God is showing me favor all because I acknowledge him of all
• 1:26:40
  thy ways. I trusted him with all my heart.
• 1:26:42
  Acknowledge him of all thy ways. I don't lean into my own
• 1:26:46
  understanding because if I lean into my own understanding, I got
• 1:26:49
  to get out here and cop. I got to get out here and do
• 1:26:51
  something. I can't just sit here, but my
• 1:26:53
  faith is good because He's showing me once I get my new
• 1:26:56
  settlement and all this stuff done, that's a car, that's to
• 1:27:00
  work, that's to life with a whole blessing of another level.
• 1:27:04
  All because I'm learning to go into what we call that part with
• 1:27:09
  the blessing of those who are the peacemakers, understanding
• 1:27:12
  those who are thirst for righteousness.
• 1:27:14
  And also I'm going into what is considered long suffer,
• 1:27:17
  kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
• 1:27:19
  self-control. See how they line up?
• 1:27:24
  Hell yeah, the beat out, it's line up with that.
• 1:27:26
  So overall that is like that's the key.
• 1:27:30
  Can men get back to that? Because now when you see a girl
• 1:27:34
  that has an interest in you and you going to approach her, what
• 1:27:36
  are you approaching her with? Are you approaching her to
• 1:27:39
  entice? Which means you're bragging
• 1:27:41
  about how you look and you walk around with your swag in your
• 1:27:44
  chest all out. Why you trying to be a go man?
• 1:27:46
  I'm a player, you know what I'm saying?
• 1:27:48
  Yeah, Why you doing all of that? How simple is just to be
• 1:27:53
  yourself? And if she's blind to you being
• 1:27:56
  yourself, then she ain't the one you're supposed to be vulnerable
• 1:27:59
  with in the first place. Oh, that was that was that was a
• 1:28:03
  word on our episode on a couple weeks ago on my other talk show
• 1:28:06
  was being vulnerable. Yeah, we, we peeled that layer
• 1:28:09
  on. We peeled that word apart.
• 1:28:11
  Man being vulnerable shows right there in Genesis.
• 1:28:14
  A chapter 225 it said is the best that man and was
• 1:28:18
  vulnerable. They were both naked and
• 1:28:20
  unashamed and that man was naked with his wife, his wife.
• 1:28:26
  He didn't say man was naked with woman, which means general no
• 1:28:32
  man was naked with his wife, meaning they were totally
• 1:28:34
  vulnerable with his wife. You don't have a wife off of
• 1:28:37
  first sight. Nobody gets married at the first
• 1:28:39
  sight. Let's start really start
• 1:28:42
  thinking wisdom see back everyone was kids.
• 1:28:45
  Oh, she's so beautiful first sight.
• 1:28:47
  I'm going to marry her. Here's the extra chocolate milk.
• 1:28:49
  No, she has she. Has she has long hair?
• 1:28:54
  It has long hair. But now we see it as who are
• 1:29:01
  you? I I appreciate you man.
• 1:29:03
  And, and again, these are the conversations that ladies and
• 1:29:06
  gentlemen, we will, when we do these segments together, you
• 1:29:08
  will see some of these dynamics, these conversations, because at
• 1:29:13
  the end of the day, for me, what is it to be a mailman, a female
• 1:29:17
  woman? And we've got to go back to the
• 1:29:20
  basics, the grand, the, the ingredients of who I am inside,
• 1:29:24
  right? Who am I?
• 1:29:25
  Who's my, my character, my attitude, my behavior, my
• 1:29:28
  personality, my body language, all that comes out even before
• 1:29:33
  you say anything out of your mouth, right?
• 1:29:36
  And so how do we go back? How do we, how do we practice
• 1:29:39
  these? The the first thing I'm going to
• 1:29:41
  end y'all with is you got to be willing.
• 1:29:45
  If you're not willing to look in your own life and tell the truth
• 1:29:49
  to yourself, you, you, you know when you look in the mirror and
• 1:29:52
  you'll be like, man, why did I act like that today?
• 1:29:54
  Why, why did I go off on so why, why did I behave like what is
• 1:29:58
  what is like? You, you, you talk to yourself
• 1:30:01
  about yourself and you recognize it, but are you willing to take
• 1:30:06
  this word and apply it to you as a mirror?
• 1:30:09
  Are you willing to take that personal development education
• 1:30:11
  that the cognitive behavior therapy and put your life in
• 1:30:14
  those curriculums and those principles to unravel why you
• 1:30:17
  think the way that you think? He said it fought the
• 1:30:19
  perception. When I took cognitive behavior
• 1:30:21
  therapy, man, I had to challenge them.
• 1:30:24
  Childhood stories. I had a challenge.
• 1:30:27
  Did my mom abandoned me? You know what?
• 1:30:29
  No, that's exaggerated, bro. And then I had to really tell
• 1:30:33
  the truth about how that story showed up in my head.
• 1:30:35
  And when I unraveled it in that CBT, it was like, man, I was
• 1:30:39
  only by myself a lot. If 90 minutes is 90 minutes
• 1:30:43
  abandoned? No, before 8 year old who had no
• 1:30:46
  perception of time, no concept of time, 90 minutes felt like 20
• 1:30:51
  hours. So then I expressed it and I
• 1:30:53
  felt it as such as I was abandoned.
• 1:30:56
  But that's what my mind landed on because I was left alone.
• 1:30:59
  But 90 minutes bro, I could no longer say that at 50 years old.
• 1:31:04
  Looking back at my 8 year old self to say that I was abandoned
• 1:31:10
  by my mother and then I had to go to.
• 1:31:12
  My mother and. I then had to go to my mother
• 1:31:16
  and ask my mother for forgiveness because of how I
• 1:31:19
  treated her for all those years because I'm thinking that that I
• 1:31:23
  was abandoned by her, that she didn't care for me.
• 1:31:25
  She didn't like bro. That wasn't the truth.
• 1:31:27
  It was my truth, but it wasn't the truth.
• 1:31:30
  But I was willing to look in my life and tell the truth about
• 1:31:33
  that situation, about my mom because I was tired of how our
• 1:31:37
  relationship was broken and she never changed.
• 1:31:40
  I changed I I altered how I listen to her and how I talk to
• 1:31:46
  her and how I treat her and we have no issues now and she's
• 1:31:50
  still my mom. But my perception, my memories,
• 1:31:55
  my actions was all from a fractured 2 year old and a
• 1:32:00
  fractured 8 year old. That's the second, and that's
• 1:32:05
  acknowledging your trauma. That's all it is.
• 1:32:07
  Once you acknowledge that your trauma, trauma only comes once,
• 1:32:09
  it's the damage that stays consistent because that's the
• 1:32:12
  damage what you were living in, your recycling, recycling your
• 1:32:15
  damage. So the whole point is just that
• 1:32:18
  once you once you healed from your damage, now you can see
• 1:32:21
  where the trauma lies. And then you can look at it
• 1:32:23
  like, wow, yeah. And.
• 1:32:25
  And and I found it all in here. I found it all in.
• 1:32:27
  Here, that's the restoration exactly I found.
• 1:32:30
  It I found it all in here. Yeah, and that's what happened
• 1:32:34
  with my mom's. With my mom's, I was like, might
• 1:32:36
  you let that dude do this to me? And she looked at me and was
• 1:32:39
  like, what are you talking about, son?
• 1:32:41
  I'm like, look, I went through a whole lot of nightmares.
• 1:32:44
  Do you not understand? I got psychological issues now,
• 1:32:48
  but it's probably just because the fact my mother was just a
• 1:32:51
  probably an abusive relationship herself and she didn't
• 1:32:53
  understand how to come to calculate it or compute with it.
• 1:32:57
  She was just trying to go along with it.
• 1:32:59
  And then what happened was she didn't even know half of that
• 1:33:01
  stuff was behind. It's not like she had X-ray
• 1:33:03
  vision like Superwoman to see through walls.
• 1:33:07
  When she told me that, I just had to look.
• 1:33:08
  But you know what she did say? She said because of the fact
• 1:33:11
  that I'm just not hearing about this and now I understand what
• 1:33:14
  you were going through. You know, I apologize for all
• 1:33:18
  the things that you've been through and that there was
• 1:33:20
  enough to that's shut it all down.
• 1:33:22
  I'm like it's. A.
• 1:33:24
  Wrap I don't even feel that pain no more.
• 1:33:25
  I don't even feel that no more. I don't gone yes, just like that
• 1:33:30
  forgiveness. The the word can, the word you,
• 1:33:34
  your, your, your truth will set you free.
• 1:33:36
  And who the Son sets free is free indeed.
• 1:33:38
  And I've experienced both of those.
• 1:33:41
  There it is now I'm just waiting.
• 1:33:43
  I'm just understanding now to walk in that truth.
• 1:33:46
  Let's walk in it for a change, you know what I'm saying?
• 1:33:49
  Let's, let's stop. I'm encouraging men to do this
• 1:33:52
  across the world because really, a lot of us are still stuck in
• 1:33:55
  high school. You still stuck with the heart
• 1:33:59
  of your trauma when you found out you was supposed to be a
• 1:34:01
  grown man. You still carrying all that
• 1:34:03
  stuff you did in your prom. You still carrying all that
• 1:34:05
  stuff you did when you was in senior year.
• 1:34:07
  Guess what, you 40 and 50 years old now, those days is gone.
• 1:34:12
  And if you don't catch up with the times today, you could have
• 1:34:14
  followed right along in the side of that gap of being that old
• 1:34:17
  man on the corner with his porch falling apart, talking about
• 1:34:20
  some. I remember back in my day dying
• 1:34:24
  and withering away with bitterness and everybody age
• 1:34:27
  your house and TPS your home on Halloween because they don't
• 1:34:30
  like your attitude because you still trying.
• 1:34:33
  Yeah, you holding on to all of that.
• 1:34:35
  It's time to let that go, be who you are be live and let let's
• 1:34:39
  get that in the concept of let's get back to God.
• 1:34:42
  Find out who you originally was, right, Because in prom you
• 1:34:46
  wasn't that person. That was just who you wanted to
• 1:34:48
  be. So you can be have the quota
• 1:34:50
  that you have. Guess what you graduated Brock,
• 1:34:53
  your tassel and your diplomas already on the shelf, probably
• 1:34:55
  dusty somewhere in a box in the attic and you ain't really
• 1:34:59
  living that time no more. It's time to wake up you.
• 1:35:02
  Got You got to be willing. You got to be willing.
• 1:35:04
  You got to be willing to do that work and tell the truth to
• 1:35:07
  yourself. If you don't tell the truth to
• 1:35:09
  nobody else, you got to be willing to tell the truth to
• 1:35:11
  yourself. And then what are you going to?
• 1:35:14
  What are you going to use? What principles?
• 1:35:17
  What what are you going to apply to your life?
• 1:35:21
  What it's about applying to your life is real simple.
• 1:35:23
  You got plain things to live for, but what you going to live
• 1:35:25
  by? Are you going to live by the
• 1:35:27
  code of the streets for the rest of your life or are you really
• 1:35:30
  going to elevate and live by the code of God?
• 1:35:33
  Now, I don't care what uniform that is.
• 1:35:34
  I will not sit here and say, you know, you know, religiously bash
• 1:35:38
  everybody. That's not what I'm saying.
• 1:35:41
  I'm saying spiritually Christ works for me.
• 1:35:43
  If you would like to know what how how it works for me,
• 1:35:46
  definitely we can have that conversation, but you got to be
• 1:35:49
  willing to step up. I'm not about to make you but
• 1:35:52
  also recognize this spiritually breeds mental mental breeds
• 1:35:55
  physical. So if your spiritual is is off
• 1:35:59
  ungrounded, which means you don't have anything to live by,
• 1:36:02
  you don't have any moral code and you just out here aimlessly.
• 1:36:04
  You can't think straight. A double minded man as far as he
• 1:36:07
  receive anything from the Lord, he shall be unstable in all his
• 1:36:11
  ways because your mind is not centered based off the fact that
• 1:36:14
  your spirit just not grounded and when your spirit's not
• 1:36:17
  grounded, your mind is all black.
• 1:36:18
  You can't possibly succeed in anything in life and do
• 1:36:21
  anything. And if you did, it doesn't look
• 1:36:24
  right, it looks crazy, and it looks all unbalanced and
• 1:36:26
  unstable. So you got to start from the
• 1:36:29
  basis of rooting yourself. So plant the seed in yourself
• 1:36:32
  first, plant the seed, plant richly, ritual your soil so God
• 1:36:36
  could plant seeds in you. Then therefore, you could plant
• 1:36:39
  seeds in yourself to root yourself with Him.
• 1:36:43
  Because. I am in the Father and the
• 1:36:46
  Father is in me. So say Matthew 14.
• 1:36:49
  But how do you get there? You got to let him plant the
• 1:36:51
  seeds in you. That's why it says be swift to
• 1:36:54
  listen, slow to speak, slow to rise, because you got to have
• 1:36:58
  that so. New so so so new seeds come in,
• 1:37:01
  right? What you're saying?
• 1:37:01
  Get some new seeds. Yeah.
• 1:37:03
  Oh yeah, definitely. I had to get some new.
• 1:37:04
  Seeds. So what you're saying is, So
• 1:37:05
  what you're saying is that some of those, some of those old
• 1:37:09
  trees, those wounds, you had to uproot them out of that, out of
• 1:37:13
  the dirt. No do you know how many
• 1:37:16
  harvesters of weeds I learned I was to see the dry harvest.
• 1:37:21
  A dry harvest is not comfortable.
• 1:37:22
  It sucks. Trust me when you get when some
• 1:37:25
  come back to bite you because you done planted a seed in the
• 1:37:28
  past that you thought you planted was right and it wasn't
• 1:37:31
  right and it grew up to be a weed or it comes back to bite
• 1:37:34
  you and it does not feel good. I don't ran into, and this year
• 1:37:38
  I ran into like about 3 to 5 harvests, all coming from areas
• 1:37:42
  I did not want them to come from.
• 1:37:44
  And yeah, I had to cry. I had to reap, which means I had
• 1:37:47
  developed new waterworks. I had to go on ahead and reap
• 1:37:51
  all of that. But then there's this thing
• 1:37:53
  called fire and control. Fire.
• 1:37:57
  The Holy Spirit is your fire control Fire is to say now that
• 1:38:02
  I know what that is and now I know what that came from and now
• 1:38:05
  I know what that was. Lesson learned.
• 1:38:07
  Now I got the right seeds. I'm not about to plant those
• 1:38:10
  seeds no more. Let me throw that bag away.
• 1:38:12
  I'm about to give me some new seeds to plant.
• 1:38:14
  And the seeds of righteousness. That's the catch.
• 1:38:19
  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.
• 1:38:22
  Plus they shall be filled. Not yourself righteousness, but
• 1:38:26
  God's righteousness, God's righteousness, Your tradition in
• 1:38:30
  which you was raised by what you think your moral code was, or
• 1:38:33
  how you walked around the playground.
• 1:38:35
  Self right. That's self righteousness.
• 1:38:37
  That self righteousness based on what your parents taught you a
• 1:38:40
  way there, but when it's time to be your own man like you like
• 1:38:44
  you are sharing that a comment. Our righteousness was coming
• 1:38:47
  through our dad. That's where our self
• 1:38:49
  righteousness came from. And now that he's in the ground,
• 1:38:51
  we have to ask ourselves, well, is it really righteousness of
• 1:38:54
  God, right? God said no, I'm replacing
• 1:38:57
  yourself righteousness with the righteousness of me.
• 1:39:00
  And there it is. I, I, I think that's how we get
• 1:39:02
  the end of the show today, man. So thank you for your time.
• 1:39:05
  I appreciate you, Arianne man, for even the the the the want to
• 1:39:11
  have a conversation like this right?
• 1:39:13
  You don't you don't find many people that want to have that
• 1:39:15
  kind of conversation, man. So thank you.
• 1:39:18
  It's been a pleasure meeting you, knowing you talking to you.
• 1:39:20
  We going we going to step back and figure figure out another
• 1:39:23
  the next part of this conversation in another episode,
• 1:39:26
  ladies and gentlemen, So make sure that you stay tuned for
• 1:39:28
  that. Look out for that last words to
• 1:39:30
  the people, man. What do you want to say to my my
• 1:39:32
  veteran and in their family members?
• 1:39:35
  And excuse me, I would like like to say for everyone of the
• 1:39:39
  community, you know what I'm saying, Under God, I thank you
• 1:39:43
  for your service. I thank you for just being here.
• 1:39:48
  And God is using you in a mighty way.
• 1:39:51
  Even if you're not talking and you're not speaking, He's using
• 1:39:54
  you in a mighty way. You're going to be all right.
• 1:39:57
  For those who seek yourself community, you just understand
• 1:40:02
  that the power of prayer is wonderful.
• 1:40:05
  I understand that no matter what happens, wake up with the joy of
• 1:40:09
  the Lord like you don't even got it.
• 1:40:10
  Stop claiming something that you think that you have just because
• 1:40:13
  of what the reports tell you. I believe in the report of the
• 1:40:16
  Lord to say that I'm still living and keep breathing.
• 1:40:20
  That's the best bet. Stay alive.
• 1:40:23
  Hey, and I, I, I agree with you because again, to be able to
• 1:40:27
  experience that peace in the midst of that storm, you got to
• 1:40:31
  figure out what, what's your storm, right?
• 1:40:33
  Those circumstances sometimes that he'll, he'll deliver us
• 1:40:36
  from those circumstances by giving you Peace of Mind, by
• 1:40:39
  giving you self-control, by giving you that perseverance, by
• 1:40:42
  being. Then you get to practice that
• 1:40:43
  when you discover, oh, you know, what's missing right here is
• 1:40:46
  patience. Patience is missing.
• 1:40:48
  So guess what I get to apply right here and in this situation
• 1:40:51
  is my patience and practice that.
• 1:40:54
  And then when there's when you're not being patient,
• 1:40:56
  recognize it. Acknowledge that.
• 1:40:57
  You know what, forgive me, I wasn't being patient with you
• 1:40:59
  today. Let me let me correct that.
• 1:41:02
  That's a different person. You just connected 1-2 and three
• 1:41:07
  of the 9 by 9 by 9. That's there you go.
• 1:41:11
  Right there, man. Appreciate you for your time
• 1:41:13
  today, man. I'm going to get out of here.
• 1:41:14
  Thank you man for hanging out man.
• 1:41:16
  Yes, Sir. See you on the Listen, let me
• 1:41:18
  pray. I just want to let me pray you
• 1:41:20
  all out real quick because that's something I have not done
• 1:41:23
  and I think it's on the right Lord.
• 1:41:25
  Thank you Lord for this opportunity to come onto the
• 1:41:27
  show right now with Fran Dozer so that we can be able to
• 1:41:30
  explore the inner elements of our mind, spirits, and our
• 1:41:33
  hearts. Lord that you be able to apply
• 1:41:35
  the word as much as possible that we can, Lord.
• 1:41:38
  We don't know everything that you have for us, Lord, but we
• 1:41:40
  are constantly studying, learning and willing to be able
• 1:41:43
  to apply it. So I thank you Lord for it.
• 1:41:45
  This message does reach out to many that they be able to
• 1:41:47
  understand who you are and them Lord, and how you could touch
• 1:41:51
  them and they can have a relationship with you.
• 1:41:52
  Lord, if they don't have 1, then give the encouragement for them
• 1:41:56
  to come to you. And for those that already have
• 1:41:58
  fun with you, Lord, help that to be the one that to help them
• 1:42:01
  improve and be able to come back in alignment with you.
• 1:42:04
  Those who fall in the straight, those who are walking alongside
• 1:42:07
  strongly. Lord, I ask you Lord, and I
• 1:42:09
  thank you Lord for everyone who's able to hear me right now.
• 1:42:12
  Lord, that you are God, that you are the Almighty, the outfit in
• 1:42:16
  the Mecca that no one can stand before you and say that they are
• 1:42:20
  over you or no one can even take your place.
• 1:42:22
  Lord. Lord, I thank you Lord, for all
• 1:42:24
  of these hearts and souls willing to invest into the time
• 1:42:27
  and be able to come to us and then so we all come together.
• 1:42:30
  I asked them to be able to take this in peace and mind and love.
• 1:42:34
  In Jesus name I pray to Amen. Amen.
• 1:42:37
  Thank you for that prayer, my guy.
• 1:42:38
  Again, thank you for tune listening into the Frondosi show
• 1:42:41
  right here with my guy Arian, who's been bringing this man
• 1:42:46
  you, you, I don't know if you if you knew this, but I, I used to
• 1:42:49
  have AI used to be on a Christian hip hop channel, God's
• 1:42:53
  House of hip hop on dash. Guide me there, Guide me there
• 1:42:56
  so I can bring that music over there.
• 1:42:57
  Just guide me over there, yeah. But but, but it, it's, it's,
• 1:43:00
  it's moved on by now. But what my point is that you,
• 1:43:03
  I, I, I wanted that space to, to bring back man.
• 1:43:07
  And you here you are. So we're, you're, we're feeling
• 1:43:09
  this space that, that I, that I knew that was missing, that was
• 1:43:13
  needed. So just our conversation, man.
• 1:43:15
  Today I I pray that people will hear something for themselves
• 1:43:17
  and that the Holy Spirit nudges them right to like, hey look.
• 1:43:21
  Look over. Here, look over here to be
• 1:43:23
  willing to just look, just look. You ain't got to give your
• 1:43:25
  position. You ain't got to give your
• 1:43:27
  position. Just just take a step on the
• 1:43:29
  other side and be like, oh, that's what they talking about.
• 1:43:32
  Oh, oh, wait, wait, no, no, that's that's what that is over
• 1:43:35
  there. That's.
• 1:43:36
  It just take a look just. Just just take a look, look for
• 1:43:40
  yourself. Look for yourself man.
• 1:43:42
  Appreciate you for your. Time.
• 1:43:43
  God bless you. Thank you, Sir.
• 1:43:45
  I appreciate you. Talk to you later.
• 1:43:46
  Yeah, later. All right, this is the Front
• 1:43:49
  Dozier show on the military broadcast radio network, MB
• 1:43:52
  Radio. All right, what we going to do?
• 1:43:54
  We going to play APSA and we going to get out of here KCA
• 1:44:00
  Radio One O 6.5 FM, Timothy AM 100 and i.e.
• 1:44:03
  KCA radio.com at Ferrand Dosier right there.
• 1:44:06
  You see that where my where my name is out and you can follow
• 1:44:08
  me there. If you want to be a guest.
• 1:44:10
  You got something to say, hit me up.
• 1:44:12
  We'll get you scheduled. You want to be a part of this
• 1:44:14
  conversation, this spiritual conversation, Hit me up.
• 1:44:17
  We'll bring you on the deck. We going to open up the deck
• 1:44:18
  too. We going to start inviting some
• 1:44:19
  guests. We got it's not just going to be
• 1:44:21
  the 1-2 punch. You know, we going to bring some
• 1:44:23
  other people on here to share what what from their perspective
• 1:44:26
  and what they've learned from Christ and how they're applying
• 1:44:28
  these principles to their life because each one of us is is on
• 1:44:32
  our own walk. You got to get your own
• 1:44:34
  revelation for this, right? And then apply that to your
• 1:44:37
  life. You got to measure yourself
• 1:44:39
  first. Love God, love your neighbor
• 1:44:41
  with the same measure that you love.
• 1:44:44
  You love God and love your neighbor with the same measure
• 1:44:47
  that you love yourself. That means that I have to 1st
• 1:44:50
  measure myself before I could love my neighbor.
• 1:44:53
  In what capacity? And if you measure it, that
• 1:44:55
  means there's a percentage, right?
• 1:44:57
  So I could say that I love you and I could say that and I could
• 1:45:02
  say I love me. But then how much, how much if I
• 1:45:05
  tell you I don't, I don't really love.
• 1:45:07
  I don't love myself every moment, every day.
• 1:45:09
  I don't, I don't, that's not realistic.
• 1:45:11
  I don't love people every day. So then what is that?
• 1:45:15
  But at least find that measure that you can stand on.
• 1:45:19
  If I, if you love yourself 50% of the time, acknowledge that
• 1:45:23
  and recognize the 50% that you love yourself so that you can
• 1:45:26
  stand on that. And then go back and then look
• 1:45:28
  and see what's that other 50% that I don't like about myself?
• 1:45:32
  And when you take those, those those attitudes and whatever
• 1:45:36
  that is and you put it up against these principles and you
• 1:45:39
  challenge your life up against those, those weaknesses becomes
• 1:45:43
  your strength. And it goes from 50% to 55%.
• 1:45:46
  And all of a sudden you're going to realize that you love
• 1:45:48
  yourself 70% of the time because you've done the work you
• 1:45:52
  actually went to go and look and see what was those fractures?
• 1:45:55
  What was those emotional. For some people, transition and
• 1:45:57
  change is emotional. As you heard, both of us are in
• 1:46:00
  the same conversation. Transition and change was
• 1:46:04
  emotional for me as a child and I live those out as an adult.
• 1:46:12
  Living avoiding shame, embarrassment and
• 1:46:15
  disappointment. And guess what?
• 1:46:16
  You can't avoid those. You can't avoid shame.
• 1:46:20
  You can't avoid disappointment. You can't.
• 1:46:23
  You can't avoid embarrassment, but you can't figure out who you
• 1:46:27
  get to be when those experiences happen that you call those
• 1:46:30
  disappointments. Because sometimes, guess what?
• 1:46:32
  You might realize that there's no that that behavior or that
• 1:46:34
  experience out the outside force is no longer a disappointment to
• 1:46:38
  you. That outside force is no longer
• 1:46:42
  shameful to you. That outside force is no longer
• 1:46:45
  embarrassing to you because you've done your work to figure
• 1:46:49
  out where it was coming from, which probably came from some
• 1:46:51
  childhood embarrassment. What he said about the chocolate
• 1:46:54
  milk and the girl, Like we have so many of those emotional
• 1:46:58
  fractions, but some of those are core.
• 1:47:02
  Core is your father, your mother, and your peers.
• 1:47:07
  Those are for ME3 core decisions that we make in our life about
• 1:47:11
  people outside of us. I love my, my love my I love my
• 1:47:17
  father. But he got on my nerve.
• 1:47:21
  And at 40, I went to go look and see why he got on my nerve.
• 1:47:26
  I love my mom, but I felt like there was some disconnection.
• 1:47:29
  There was something, there's some there was this abandonment
• 1:47:32
  feeling that I couldn't trust her, that I couldn't connect to
• 1:47:35
  her. But I love my mom.
• 1:47:39
  But there was that wedge. I had to go look and see what
• 1:47:42
  that wedge was. And of course, my peers, you
• 1:47:45
  know, I had a 14 year old decision about not being
• 1:47:48
  vulnerable. And what happened to me is a 14
• 1:47:50
  year old breakup in junior high. That was my peer fracture.
• 1:47:53
  I'm not going to be vulnerable. And my relationship with my my
• 1:47:57
  male friends was broken because of that episode.
• 1:48:00
  But that was all back on who me. I made-up those stories.
• 1:48:05
  I'd matter of fact, I didn't even make them up.
• 1:48:09
  My mind landed on those to survive the pains of those
• 1:48:13
  emotional fractures of those changes, My mind naturally
• 1:48:17
  landed on that to survive. And when you realize that you
• 1:48:22
  made it up, you can let it go. You can give it up.
• 1:48:26
  But what are you going to give it up for?
• 1:48:30
  What are you going to use as principles to give those up?
• 1:48:36
  What are you going to govern your heart with?
• 1:48:39
  You're going to govern your mind with?
• 1:48:41
  What are you going to govern your emotions with?
• 1:48:42
  What are you going to govern your soul with?
• 1:48:48
  Just how you feel. Or you going to find something
• 1:48:52
  outside of yourself to challenge your heart up against?
• 1:48:56
  What does your spirit need to be fed?
• 1:49:01
  What, what what's what's the spirit of?
• 1:49:03
  I don't, I don't think any religious belief teaches us to
• 1:49:07
  to to treat people funky. I just, I don't believe there's
• 1:49:10
  a spiritual conversation that teaches you to treat people
• 1:49:13
  funky as a human being in your soul is your soul wants to treat
• 1:49:18
  people kind. Your soul wants to treat people
• 1:49:21
  with love. But because of your mind,
• 1:49:23
  willing emotions and those fractures, it's hard to
• 1:49:27
  experience love in your heart when it's been fractured because
• 1:49:32
  we're guarded. I don't know.
• 1:49:33
  I don't want to feel that in my heart again.
• 1:49:35
  My I don't want to feel that body sensation right, because
• 1:49:37
  the body keeps the score. It's all connected.
• 1:49:42
  But you can tell the truth. You can unravel that, but you
• 1:49:45
  got to be willing to do the work for my brother and sister that
• 1:49:47
  arms in this community here. I recommend constant behavior at
• 1:49:51
  the at the VA. If you got it, your VA benefits
• 1:49:54
  and you got mental health under there, go go relative behavior
• 1:50:00
  therapies. Perfect.
• 1:50:01
  It will take those thoughts, put them in that curriculum and you
• 1:50:05
  get to tell the truth by percentage.
• 1:50:11
  I have about 60% confidence in myself and, and, and that 60%
• 1:50:18
  can show up in other areas higher than other areas, right?
• 1:50:24
  Because there's that 40% that that's, that's also sprinkled
• 1:50:27
  out all over my life. The 60% is sprinkled out in
• 1:50:30
  areas of my life, but the 40% that I'm not that I don't, I got
• 1:50:33
  a lack in self-confidence is also sprinkled in areas.
• 1:50:36
  But you got to be willing to do the work if you want to do the
• 1:50:41
  work. There's there's conversations,
• 1:50:43
  there's curriculums, there's there's spaces that you can have
• 1:50:46
  those talks. All right, I'm out of here.
• 1:50:50
  So also what's the count the front dose show?
• 1:50:52
  So I thought that put the QR code up there, right there, up
• 1:50:55
  there. If you want to contribute to us,
• 1:50:57
  they provide all these services for the veterans and their
• 1:51:00
  family members and the first responders.
• 1:51:02
  We have shows here. So if you would like to donate
• 1:51:06
  and participate in supporting us so these shows can stay on these
• 1:51:11
  platforms, they're not cheap. So if you feel led to contribute
• 1:51:15
  to veterans, you know, you can say thank you for your service.
• 1:51:18
  We appreciate that. But there are people out here
• 1:51:20
  doing some real work. And if you want to give to those
• 1:51:23
  kind of conversations that QR code up there at the top, we
• 1:51:27
  can, we can go there and scan that and send your donation.
• 1:51:29
  We thank you again for listening and watching wherever you see
• 1:51:33
  this, this talk show, this podcast, Roku TV, Spotify,
• 1:51:38
  wherever you watch it at, whether it's video, audio, I
• 1:51:42
  thank you for your time. And for those who have tuned in
• 1:51:44
  today, last PSA, I'm out of here.
• 1:51:47
  Shall I saw what's the count? Hey, Mister man, how you doing?
• 1:52:05
  Hey, did you see the game last night?
• 1:52:08
  But did you see the shot? I lost money from that.
• 1:52:11
  Oh man, that shot was. Old man, but it was good, yeah.
• 1:52:17
  What's the you really want to know?
• 1:52:23
  I do. Exhaustion, muscle spasm,
• 1:52:30
  Asthmatic issues, unexpected sickle cell trait Triton.
• 1:52:34
  Are you serious? When I was young I found out I
• 1:52:37
  had sickle cell trait. My mom's told me but I didn't
• 1:52:40
  have no knowledge of it. But when I got older, I had a
• 1:52:42
  child and the doctor told me my daughter had sickle cell trait.
• 1:52:45
  You know, the fact that both parents have sickle cell trait,
• 1:52:48
  there's a 50% chance the child may have the trait and 25% she
• 1:52:52
  had the time to have the disease.
• 1:52:54
  And that's what's the count. Do you know that 225,000,000
• 1:52:56
  people in the United States have sickle cell trait?
• 1:52:58
  300 million people globally. I didn't find out I had sickle
• 1:53:01
  cell trait until I was in the Army 10 years.
• 1:53:03
  Next thing you know I had a sickle cell trait exertion site.
• 1:53:06
  A sickle cell? I thought that was a.
• 1:53:08
  Black gene or something? Nah man, the black community is
• 1:53:11
  number 21 out of 36,000 babies are being born with sickle cell
• 1:53:14
  disease. You could be Caucasian,
• 1:53:16
  Mediterranean, European. You got rid of a bloodline, man.
• 1:53:22
  There is an inherited gene in our community that has been
• 1:53:24
  forgotten. The name is Sickle cell trait.
• 1:53:27
  WDCONSCT, also known as What's the Count, is out to bring
• 1:53:32
  awareness, education and prevention to people all over
• 1:53:35
  the globe. Want more information?
• 1:53:37
  Call us now at 323-215-5384 or visit www.wdconsct.org.
• 1:54:11
  Hi, I'm Beaker with Military Broadcast Radio TV.
• 1:54:15
  We're your virtual MWR bringing veterans radio, podcasts,
• 1:54:19
  gaming, animation, 3D printing and a community that never
• 1:54:23
  leaves you behind. Download our Roku or mobile app
• 1:54:27
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