Latest / Crafted Connections / EP 35: A Reminder to Live Your Life with Horace Tong

Transcript

EP 35: A Reminder to Live Your Life with Horace Tong · Crafted Connections

0:04
SPEAKER_00: Hello, welcome to Crafted Connections.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm Keely Calhoun, and this is a podcast all about storytelling and building genuine community.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: Here we'll dive into the art of storytelling, unpack strategies for making meaningful connections, and hear from incredible humans for using their story to create impact.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: So grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's craft some connections.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to Crafted Connections, my dear, dear friends.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: I am so grateful that you're here and I'm so excited to share my conversation with Horace Tong.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: Good friend, wonderful adventurer.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: Both talking to him and then re-listening to the episode.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: He is a special being.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: He takes on challenges and inspires me on the regular.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: I think you will really enjoy his episode.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: We talk about his travel experiences.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: He has been to every single country.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: He always takes on fun activities.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: And I loved digging deeper into his story.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, enjoy the wonderful Horace.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: I think you're gonna want to be his best friend.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: And the great thing about him is he'll oblige.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: I am super grateful and love you to pieces, y'all.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: Uh Horace, thank you for joining Crafted Connections.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm flipping pumped to have you because I mean you're one of the best.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: I tell people this all the time.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: I don't think you even understand.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: I appreciate that.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm really excited to be here.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm excited to have you.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: Can you do me a favor and the people who are listening a favor and give us a little like summary of Horace?
1:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: Um I I'm excited to live my life.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: I think it's very tempting sometimes to be like, oh, this is what I do for work, and you know, this is like where I'm from.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: But like I that's the first thing I want to come out with is I am excited to live my life.
2:00
SPEAKER_01: And that includes meeting cool people, developing really, really amazing connections with some of those people, because you know, we can't uh meet everyone and have the same amount of deep connections with everyone we want to.
2:13
SPEAKER_01: And that means trying different things, be it food, be it adventures, but also finding time and the space to be appreciative, not only of the things that are so good and amazing and life impacting and life-changing, but also those things that aren't as shiny, aren't as fun, sometimes sad, sometimes dreadful, because they help us contrast our life and we don't know until we do it.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: And I think for many parts of my life, many times of my life, I was so afraid of having that hurt or that uncertainty or that unknown that I didn't do a lot, or the things I did do were the familiar or what was expected of me, or what I thought was expected of me.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: But due to some life-impacting things, both positive and honestly negative, I have shifted my life very intentionally and also with some privilege to wanting to live my life.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, we're connected because from an amazing person, we're connected because we wanted to do an amazing thing.
3:19
SPEAKER_01: We're we're still connected because you know, we appreciate each other.
3:22
SPEAKER_01: So I just really not only appreciate this opportunity to talk to you, but like uh to the opportunity to continue living life.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: So I honestly don't know what to say sometimes when people are like, oh, tell me about yourself.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: Things that people do like are not focused on, but are fascinated by.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, I've been to every country in the world, 197 countries.
3:42
SPEAKER_01: I am a coach that focuses on change management and leadership.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: So I work with different companies, some big, some very, very small, or even individuals, to establish what they want in life, uh, what are their goals, but also what are the barriers towards those goals and how do they want to be supported?
4:02
SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's not like a one-time silver bullet quick fix, but rather to understand, hey, if there are barriers, how do we not only acknowledge and recognize them, but decide what do we want to do, but also what do we not want to do?
4:16
SPEAKER_01: So that's the work side of me.
4:20
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just an exciting guy.
4:21
SPEAKER_01: Like right now, I am trying to go to every national park, a national historic site in the in the country of the United States.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: And I want to be a junior ranger at all these sites and learn about the country, but also uh see some cool things and collect some fun badges and and patches.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: So the things that fascinate me are like not just uniqueness, but like similar to what you you said earlier: stories.
4:46
SPEAKER_01: You know, what are people's stories both that have been told, both that have been told over, but also ones that haven't been told yet.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: And it's always interesting to hear a story and see how that may relate to me, but also makes me more curious and fascinated about me as well.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: So all to say, I don't know if that's what you're looking for, but no, that's great.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: You summarized it all, and it gave me so much to like dig into like little things, right?
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Like that, I love that you really did, especially like with what I know about you, you did a great job summarizing because summarizing is so hard, right?
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Like I I am I consider myself a multifaceted person, so of course, like attracts like.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: I spend a lot of time with multifaceted people.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: You are one of those people.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: Interrupting this episode real quick.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: If you've listened to any of the episodes, you know that I am the owner of Calhoun Creative Consulting, and I do all the things when it comes to helping people infuse storytelling into their marketing, into their brand.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: But I also love building my community.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: So with that, I'd love to share.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: I do this monthly kickoff, the first business day of every month.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: So it's two hours long.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: We spend the first 30 minutes reflecting on the month before and setting some intentions for the month to come.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: And then we spend an hour of coworking time just doing that first action.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: Everybody decides what's the action I'm gonna take to get this intention rolling.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna start my month off right?
6:16
SPEAKER_00: And then the last 30 minutes is all about community and connecting, making some new friends, asking for something you might need, reflecting on how your first act towards your monthly intention went.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: It's it's a lot of fun.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's a cozy group.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Would love to see you there.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: It is virtual and it is monthly, first business day of every month.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: November's kickoff is going to be November 3rd from 10 a.m.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: to noon EST.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: So would love to see you there.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: Link in the show notes.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: It's a free.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: Did I mention that part?
6:47
SPEAKER_00: And a lot, lot, a lot of fun.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: Back to the episode.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about we met each other this year, this calendar year.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: Uh, it is currently September.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: She got there, and we met in January.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: And so it's so interesting, right at the top of your summary, to hear you talk about how you didn't always, you know, as you quote said it, live life.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm so fascinated because I've only known you as someone who lives life.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: Like it's honestly sometimes I'm tired hearing about all the things you do and not tired, like, stop telling me, but like I hear you doing it.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm exhausted just knowing that there's that many activities in the world, right?
7:28
SPEAKER_00: And so I'd love for you to share a little bit more about that pre-shift.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: And if you're willing to share kind of what was behind the shift, that'd be lovely.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: If it's maybe not somewhere you want to go, that's totally fine.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, what was this pre-shift experience and where are you now with that big idea, that living life, that philosophy?
7:45
SPEAKER_01: For sure.
7:45
SPEAKER_01: So I mean, for context, like some of the things that I've done this year, I think were see it at a monastery in Greece.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: I I flew and puked in a fighter jet from Czechoslovakia, not the Czech Republic.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: Not slow, not the Slovak Republic, but when there was still one country, so it's a really was a really, really old fighter jet, but it was super fun.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: Been on this quest to go and see as many national park sites and junior ranger sites as possible, camped in the Badlands, you know, went to Mount Rushmore, like so many, so many amazing.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: You even inspire me too, though, because like even in you know, your town where you live now, in like if it in Vancouver, you if there's a Hokoko festival, you're like, let's go.
8:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: And I think I'm always a big proponent, like, I want to see the world, I want to travel the world, I love talking to people who have really seen so much.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: And I also love being like, if you're not willing to be an adventurer in your own city, then then what does that look like?
8:46
SPEAKER_00: So I like I love that you do it micro macro, and it's also not even that micro when you when you think about it, because what you're doing in these far away places, people who live there are like, yeah, this is the norm, Horace.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the party.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: So I just I really love that in your approach to adventure as well.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I appreciate that.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: And back in Vancouver, Canada, like there's kind of like this culture, this is like uh stereotyped that Vancouver is a no fun city.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot about this because I grew up there, I was born in Hong Kong, and then I moved to Vancouver or a suburb of Vancouver when I was quite young, when I was two years old.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: And it kind of felt like that.
9:20
SPEAKER_01: Kind of felt like there was nothing to do here, and but also the people around like they kind of just want to do the same stuff, and then you kind of then start doing the same stuff.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: But it's a it can be a super fun city, but also there are amazing people who also want to do amazing and fun things, and it feels kind of disconnected sometimes.
9:41
SPEAKER_01: And if we have to do fun things by ourselves, it's a little bit harder than having people that are cheering us on or participating.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: So some of the things that I've done in Vancouver that have been very memorable are not only being a hot dog eating contest uh this year, but in I think earlier this year, or maybe uh late last year, friend and I we crushed 224 oysters, uh raw oysters.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: And my friend, I love him to bits, but he definitely was weighing us down with his 83 oysters to my 141.
10:12
SPEAKER_01: But all the same, we got the same t-shirt, we filled up the bucket just to get these ridiculous t-shirts.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: But it's just finding people like that and not only finding them, but developing those relationships.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it can feel easier when it's a new person, when it's more novel, and we don't have all these idiosyncrasies that we've kind of developed in any relationship together.
10:35
SPEAKER_01: But I think there can be something said not only in our backyard, but also in some of our older relationships, that if there's a reciprocity, there's a willingness on both sides to go deeper and to nurture that as well.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate you you bringing that up because I love traveling in the world.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: Uh, like I said, I've been to every country in the world, all seven continents, and there's just not enough time to see and do everything, but that doesn't mean I want to stop.
11:01
SPEAKER_01: And I think about what I would say like previous chapters of my life where I was on like a track and like I was only cared, I mainly cared, not only, but I mainly cared about having a good career and going to school and doing things that my friends wanted to do.
11:21
SPEAKER_01: But growing up, I I felt a bit already disconnected.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: I felt different, and not in the same way I feel different now, but I felt different as an outsider.
11:30
SPEAKER_01: But I think now I feel different in in a slightly different way.
11:34
SPEAKER_01: But when I was growing up, travel to me was going back to Hong Kong, visiting family, dealing with the jet leg, going through the gauntlet of family dinners and trying to stay up, uh, what feels like forever, or long road trips.
11:51
SPEAKER_01: And I already feel privileged that I was able to do those things because when I was two, I already flew on a plane.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: And that's not something that everyone can say or everyone has experience.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: But when you're growing up or when you're experiencing these things, it's hard to be grateful for what you have versus what you don't have.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: And I I think about some of the shifts in my life that have led me to think, hey, what is it that I want or what could be different?
12:16
SPEAKER_01: And I think specifically about three times in my life.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: And I'll just briefly talk about those.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: The first thing is when I was in university, I have an older sister, my favorite sister, my only sister.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: And she gets mad, I call her my favorite sister, but I always tell her, like, how would you feel it was just the two of us and you were not my favorite sister?
12:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:37
SPEAKER_01: And she thinks this is by default, but I I love her to bits, she's amazing, she really inspires me.
12:42
SPEAKER_01: But when we were growing up, we were both in university, and she was getting really into traveling.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: And I, being the annoying younger brother, I was like, Oh, why do you want to waste your money?
12:51
SPEAKER_01: If you also want to see something, just look it up on the internet.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's uh it's cheaper, it's it's it's it's less hassle.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: So I think I was in my second year of uni, and my sister came up to me and she's like, I have a deal for you.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: If you just shut the hell up and stop complaining, I will pay for your ticket to Europe.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: Because her and her then boyfriend, now husband, were going to Germany and Austria.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: And this is how stupid I was.
13:18
SPEAKER_01: I was like, free trip to Europe.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: Why would I ever want to go?
13:21
SPEAKER_01: It's such a hassle, it's so far away.
13:23
SPEAKER_01: But eventually I'm like, Oh, I was doing a degree in history at the time, and I was like, Oh, it'd be kind of nice to like see some of these places.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: So I reluctantly agreed to go, and the trip started off rocky because we were supposed to meet in Chicago, but there was weather delaying her separate flights and uh her and her uh boyfriend's uh separate flights.
13:44
SPEAKER_01: So I was just in Chicago.
13:46
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, where are you?
13:47
SPEAKER_01: And she was like, Oh, we're coming, we're coming.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: And then hours later, when she got to her next flight, like, oh, we're coming, we're coming.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I think we're starting to board.
13:54
SPEAKER_01: She's like, okay, it'll be fine.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: We're almost there, we're almost there.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: And then I'm like, I think the door's closing.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: And she was like, stop them, delay them.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: What am I supposed to do?
14:05
SPEAKER_01: How am I supposed to stop them?
14:06
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not sure if she realized that, but like, that's not a really good thing to say or do on a plane in the in the United States, especially.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: So the door closed, and she's like, Yeah, we're not gonna make it.
14:17
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, Yeah, I know that.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: So she's like, just go to the hotel.
14:21
SPEAKER_01: I don't even know where we're staying.
14:23
SPEAKER_01: So I just waited for them at the airport, what felt like days, but really was like hours, like maybe two hours.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: They were likely to get a flight to Frankfurt.
14:32
SPEAKER_01: But I was so happy to see them.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: So happy to see them, so scared, so happy to see them.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: But uh, we had a great time.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not gonna say that that trip made me want to travel everywhere, but that trip really showed me a different way of what traveling could be, and it made me really think about like, okay, I can see from my sister's perspective, but also I can see from my own different perspective, and it was definitely life-changing and impacting as well.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: Because you you kind of shared like the the scary parts of that trip, right?
15:05
SPEAKER_00: And it's not necessarily that that trip was like the pivotal trip, but what like memories that were like really because you said like it changed your perspective, but like what particular experiences were you were like, oh, that felt really empowering, or like, oh, that was so fun to like be curious about a thing and then learn about this thing?
15:22
SPEAKER_00: Like what specific anecdotes or examples?
15:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so well, the fact that you know she and her boyfriend didn't meet me, but like we still got there.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: Like it's like, okay, I could survive a little hiccup.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: Or like there's these like small like cross-cultural miscommunication, just being in a German bar and ordering a sprite, and of course a beer comes out, and you're like, okay, well, when in Rome slash when in München, that's what you just do.
15:47
SPEAKER_01: But there was a time where we were going drinking on a like a brewery tour, because there's so many great breweries, so many historical uh brew houses in Munich in München.
15:57
SPEAKER_01: We were just walking around, and there was like a gang of hooligans that was like hooting at us, and we were like, What is happening?
16:03
SPEAKER_01: Are we gonna get attacked?
16:05
SPEAKER_01: But it turns out that they were celebrating their friend that had just come back from exchange from China, and he thought we were spoken Mandarin Chinese, which we do not, but he was uh you know excited to speak to us, and we were just drinking on the street.
16:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, I think like a Hofbrow or uh Palana or whatever it may be.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: But it was just such a surreal thing.
16:27
SPEAKER_01: Just like he was so fluent in Mandarin, this German, this Caucasian German fellow.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: Us were ethnically Chinese, but because we're from Hong Kong, we speak Cantonese, but like the cross-cultural bits that just like made me so fascinated.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: That it was stuff that I loved.
16:43
SPEAKER_01: And of course, we saw some amazing sights, both really, really, really beautiful and ornate, but also so sad and impactful.
16:51
SPEAKER_01: Like the first thing we did after we got from the airport, we went to uh Dachau, the concentration camp.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: And it was I just I still remember, and not to be a downer on this podcast, but when we talk about impact, I still remember being in the building where it said uh Brau spot and it said shower in German, but it wasn't a shower, and just reading about those things, because I was like I mentioned I was uh sending uh a history to get some, seeing those in books and photos, video sometimes, and then being in it, it was completely different, and it kind of shattered that ideal of like, oh why don't I just you know look it up on the internet?
17:33
SPEAKER_01: Why doesn't my sister just look it up on the internet?
17:36
SPEAKER_01: So I I'm not saying that everything was good in the sense that I was all amazing, and this is like these road rose uh color classes, but it was also different, also different from what I had expected, also different from what I thought I would feel, but also so different how I thought how I felt after they had happened.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: And it really made me so curious.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: It made me so curious.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, this this is how travel could be.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: And there were still a lot of barriers in in traveling, like I get horrible motion sickness.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: I mean at the time I was like a not struggling, but you know, just a student, you know, I wasn't wasn't making like a like a proper salary, but it just the more curious it made me, the more it it kind of fueled me to then say, okay, not if I could do this, but how can I do this?
18:28
SPEAKER_01: How can I actually do this?
18:31
SPEAKER_01: But that was slowed down and then briefly interrupted by the next life impacting thing that happened to me.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: When I was after that trip, my mom realized she was very sick, very, very sick, like the stage.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure what the stages are, but like terminal cancer, essentially.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: And I have always felt very connected to my mom.
18:55
SPEAKER_01: I admire admired her, admire her so much, and she's always been so good at connecting with people, so good at helping people, so good at really living life, and in ways I didn't even know.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: I only found out many years after she died as I was cleaning out her stuff.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: But she got so sick, and she was quite young.
19:16
SPEAKER_01: I think she was 58 when she passed away.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: So she had the possibility of living not only longer, but continuing to rich uh live a rich life that she did.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: And that's that loss made me feel my own mortality.
19:37
SPEAKER_01: Not only in terms of the time I have here, but also what am I doing with that time?
19:43
SPEAKER_01: I I really think there's a difference between being alive and living.
19:46
SPEAKER_01: I really feel there's a difference between time and experiences.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: You know, we we could we could have so many experiences in a short amount of time, or we could live a very, very, very, very long time, but not feel like we can do or have done, or even in certain cases, want to do the things that we actually do truly want to do.
20:05
SPEAKER_01: So seeing her honestly wither away and then be gone and then not be around, but also that emptiness, that that missing piece to not be there, but still be there.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: I think if anyone has dealt with loss or grief, I think they they may understand that a bit more, though everyone's journey is different.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: But it really made me feel like now what?
20:30
SPEAKER_01: And I'll be honest with you, I would give anything, anything to have my mom back.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: I would give anything to tell her about my adventures and show her or take her on them or feel connected to her in that way.
20:43
SPEAKER_01: But I know I would be such a different person if she was still around.
20:47
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying that I would be a worse person, but my life would be so different.
20:52
SPEAKER_01: And it's just it's such a hard thing sometimes to to reconcile in my head, but I do appreciate her for uh giving me the I'm not gonna say the gift, but at least giving me the chance to have a realization, a realization that I think honestly people might have much, much, much later in their lives that time is finite.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: Time is one, in my opinion, one of the things that we just can't make more of.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: And I've squandered a lot of time.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: I've squandered a lot of time, and it's so easy to be like, oh man, I should have, could have, would have done this.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: And that's kind of the mindset that I was in in many parts of my chapters of my life before.
21:31
SPEAKER_01: But those chapters now are more about okay, the book is gonna end one day.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: I don't know when.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: I don't hope for the book to end, but what is the chapter I want to write now?
21:42
SPEAKER_01: What's the next chapter I want to write?
21:43
SPEAKER_01: What's the next chapter I want to write?
21:45
SPEAKER_01: And I think I've joked with you, not joked, I've revealed to you that I want to write a book, and I'm not writing that actual physical literal book, but I am writing the book of my life, and I'm very happy in the last few chapters.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: But also the current chapter as well.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: So I would say that would be the second impactful thing that had really happened to me, which was honestly compounded with other losses in my life, both my grandparents who had raised me, and as well as my grandparents on my dad's side who were still living in Hong Kong, but just over time they passed away and they had longer lives.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: They may not have had the same lives as my mom, but all their impact and all their loss still affected me in so many different ways, both negatively and positively as well.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: I love so far.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean, first off, thank you for sharing that.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: I think that's so it's why I'm having these conversations.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: It's the sharing experiences.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: I recently we're talking like the last 36 hours, lost a friend around the same age as your mom for very similar.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: And I'm thinking about, you know, her children.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I'm thinking about like and and how that family has been such an important family in my life, and how like I don't anything her kids need, you know, like and and so it's just it's really the timing, right?
23:10
SPEAKER_00: Because we rescheduled this, like is it's not here to mess around.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: So thank you for sharing that because even for me right now, I'm so grateful to to be reminded of the finiteness.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: And then and then I would call back what you said in the summary of Horace, right?
23:27
SPEAKER_00: That you you see the you know, the the classified good, the classified bad, and you see how they can they can dance in a way that like allows you to live because living isn't just like sunshine rainbow, sunshine rainbow's candy, you know, like it's it's real shit, man.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, it's like it's like these beautiful contrasts, these these devastating contrasts, you know, and but then you know, when when you're on this side of the ground and you can breathe in the air and be like, okay, what am I gonna experience for me and for them?
24:02
SPEAKER_00: It's really special.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate you sharing that.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: I know, I know that's just gonna be really lovely for people to be able to hear.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: So it was great for me.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: That's good to hear.
24:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: And uh, I just wanted to share like two things I think that I always think about when I think about my mom, because my mom, she always wanted to help people and she really instilled this value in me.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: And it's come up in so many different ways in my life.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: But she was always instilled this value of like, if you can help someone, help them.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean you get something back, but if you can help someone help me, it can be something small, it can be something big, just be there for people.
24:36
SPEAKER_01: And maybe someone will be there for you if when if and when you need it, but it doesn't matter because it's it's within us, it's within us to be able to do.
24:45
SPEAKER_01: And I think about this because I think there's a famous quote that always reminds me of grief, but also reminds me of like the power of people who have been here and maybe missing in our lives, and this idea of like people die twice in their lives.
25:00
SPEAKER_01: People die the first time when they're interred or put in the ground, and the second time that people die is the last time someone has mentioned their name.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: And like I said, I really would do anything for my mom to be bad, but I don't ever want to forget her.
25:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't ever want to forget what she instilled into live in me.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: And maybe in parts of my life, some of the stuff I have done or or I I refuse to do, it was because of her.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: But at least in this chapter of my life, I honor her by being me.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: And it's not easy to understand what I want sometimes, but I'm trying.
25:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm really trying.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: And it's not alone.
25:41
SPEAKER_01: This is why I was so excited to be on this podcast with you because it's it's not alone.
25:46
SPEAKER_01: Like community is it, I realize it's such an important thing to me.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: So not only building, but also maintaining that community, I think, is really key as well.
25:54
unknown: Yeah.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: There's so much I want to dig into that, but I want to not lose that third thing that kind of made your impact because we could easily, you know.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: So so number three, what was kind of the third thing that really took that made that shift for you?
26:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: So the third thing is so originally when when I was traveling, like after this amazing first initial trip, after this this big loss, I got more curious and more curious.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: I I never thought I would go to every country in the world.
26:23
SPEAKER_01: I traveled more and more and more, and then I did my actual first solo proper uh solo trip.
26:28
SPEAKER_01: Then I went to all these different places, and then I originally had a plan going to hundred continent.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, sorry, hundred countries and seven continents, and that would be it.
26:38
SPEAKER_01: And I had a great time because I actually completed that goal with my sister and my brother-in-law.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: Wait, you did that with them?
26:47
SPEAKER_00: Like all three of you have done that?
26:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's so cool.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: So we all went to seven continents together.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay, okay, okay.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: I was like, that's an insane amount of planning and logistics.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay, fine.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: Over time, it's hard to convince, it's easy to convince someone to go to Italy.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: People want to go to Italy, they want to go to um Australia, they want to go to France.
27:05
SPEAKER_01: Uh, but once you tell people you we want to go to Iraq, not a lot of takers.
27:09
SPEAKER_01: There are some, but not a lot.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: But I'd been saving up to go to Antarctica for many years.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: Uh, eventually I'd found a really good deal.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: Then I had asked everyone I knew who wanted to go.
27:19
SPEAKER_01: And the people who were both willing and foolish with their money were my sister and my brother-in-law, and they were down.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: And I still remember we were on the zodiac, about to land.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: I was about to do it.
27:31
SPEAKER_01: So excited.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: And I'd miscounted the country countries, but I was at 99 countries on a trip.
27:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, whatever, fine.
27:37
SPEAKER_01: My brother-in-law and I were in these penguin onesies, we're about to land onto Antarctica.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: And my my brother-in-law, he had this realization on the actual zodiac, which I find hilarious.
27:48
SPEAKER_01: But he was like, Oh, actually, I went to Egypt with you.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: So this will be my seventh continent, too.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, that's awesome.
27:54
SPEAKER_01: You know, we're doing it.
27:55
SPEAKER_01: And my sister was then saying, Oh, oh, oh, I didn't go to Egypt, but I did go to Australia.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: So this is only my sixth continent.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: And us being us, we then moved our seats to sit like one side uh of uh one on each side of her.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: And we started high-fiving over her head and like, yeah, seven continents, not six continents, seven continents.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: We're just like teasing her after we had our fun.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, don't worry.
28:20
SPEAKER_01: I told my sister, we'll sort it out, we'll take care of it.
28:25
SPEAKER_01: We will go, we'll go together.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: I'll bring you to Africa because that's the part that she was missing.
28:29
SPEAKER_01: And we had a great trip, but I thought I was done.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: I thought I was done traveling.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: I thought I did 100 uh countries, seven continents, and I was just okay, not I'm not too drawn to most other places, but I had a realization that I, as I was I continued to travel, I I think it was in Costa Rica, I was like, oh, okay, I actually could do this.
28:51
SPEAKER_01: If I put more intention and effort, I could actually do this.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: So it made me more uh willing to go to countries that honestly I was both both afraid of but also uh unfamiliar with.
29:03
SPEAKER_01: And one of those places was Haiti, and Haiti has had a very tumultuous history, and it's really seen when the island, Hispanola, that Haiti resides on is shared by both the Dominican Republic and Haiti and how different those countries are.
29:20
SPEAKER_01: But I landed in Haiti, and there were some hiccups.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: The hotel didn't pick me up, but I had a great tour with the taxi driver.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: I had a great time.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: I was feeling so good about Haiti.
29:31
SPEAKER_01: And then I get to the hotel after my fun day touring around, getting excited for the next day.
29:36
SPEAKER_01: So I asked the hotel, like, where do you where do you recommend that we that I eat?
29:40
SPEAKER_01: Oh, we have a great international restaurant here.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, I flew all this way to Port-au-Prince.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: We're in a nicer neighborhood.
29:48
SPEAKER_01: Like, look, I want to eat local food.
29:50
SPEAKER_01: So they gave me some recommendations.
29:52
SPEAKER_01: I go out and have a great meal.
29:53
SPEAKER_01: And then I was walking back and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go get some water.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: It's been a good meal, a bit salty, but still delicious.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: Get some water.
30:01
SPEAKER_01: And I was staying in an area called Pition Beach, the nicer neighborhood, but the street that I was walking on, maybe every second or third street lamp was burnt out or broken.
30:13
SPEAKER_01: And it was narrow-ish, enough for two cars.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: So as I'm walking on the sidewalk, and you sidewalk very loosely, I see a motorcycle that was going the opposite way suddenly swerve right in front of me, cutting me off because there's a wall right beside me as well.
30:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, it's so dark, you must not have seen me.
30:34
SPEAKER_01: So I try to move away, try to get around them, but they edge the motorcycle closer uh towards the wall, cutting me off even more.
30:43
SPEAKER_01: And then it turns out there's two of them.
30:45
SPEAKER_01: They're yelling at me in in French and Creole, which I barely speak French, let alone uh Haitian Creole.
30:53
SPEAKER_01: And I don't know why they're yelling at me.
30:56
SPEAKER_01: And then suddenly I look up, and the guy on this um on the back had gone off and he has a gun pointed at me.
31:01
SPEAKER_01: And they talk about fight or flight.
31:03
SPEAKER_01: I just ran.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran as fast as I could.
31:07
SPEAKER_01: I didn't even register what was happening.
31:09
SPEAKER_01: And thankfully, the the grocery store I wanted to buy that water from was about maybe 10-ish meters, 15 meters away.
31:17
SPEAKER_01: And I just ran and I didn't know what to do, and my phone was about to die.
31:21
SPEAKER_01: So, like, I ran to like the bakery section, which was like the furthest into the grocery store, is the most well lit.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Do I tell someone?
31:28
SPEAKER_01: Will they understand me in my really crappy French?
31:31
SPEAKER_01: What am I supposed to do?
31:32
SPEAKER_01: So I decided to just wait them out.
31:34
SPEAKER_01: I was like peering outside the grocery store and I couldn't see them.
31:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, what if they're waiting for me?
31:39
SPEAKER_01: What am I supposed to do?
31:40
SPEAKER_01: So then my phone died, and I'm like, okay, I have to make a decision.
31:44
SPEAKER_01: So I decided I will run as fast as I could back to the hotel, like super, super, super fast.
31:51
SPEAKER_01: So I'm about ready to go, and then I had this realization that I forgot to buy the water that I wanted.
31:57
SPEAKER_01: So then I then quietly, nervously go back to get my water, and then I'm running, running, running, running, running, running, running, running back to the hotel.
32:06
SPEAKER_01: I was so scared.
32:07
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know what to do.
32:08
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know if I should tell the front desk, if I should report it, but I ended up canceling the rest of my trip.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: I decided I'll just go to the airport the next day, go back home.
32:18
SPEAKER_01: And it that honestly, that that really messed me up.
32:22
SPEAKER_01: That really messed me up because I had at that point gone to like a hundred something countries, 120 plus countries.
32:30
SPEAKER_01: And I had thought that I'd been brainwashed by media about how dangerous the world is, and like, you know, it's not that bad, you know, you really just need to like give places a chance, which I had been doing, and been doing honestly, in what I considered for for many years a very successful way.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: But this kind of brought me crashing back to reality, and it just shook me to my core and I didn't know what to do.
32:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh like look, uh I ended up ending a relationship because I couldn't talk about it with them, and I felt like guilty and I felt like judged.
33:06
SPEAKER_01: I was so withdrawn at work, I didn't know how to talk to my friends and family about it.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: I I tried going to counseling, but in retrospect, I just felt like if I just went to counseling and finished it, I'd be fixed.
33:17
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I was doing.
33:18
SPEAKER_01: I I went through the steps, I quote unquote fixed myself, and then I was ready.
33:24
SPEAKER_01: I was ready, and then I ended up booking like a trip to Afghanistan because I'm like, oh, if I can survive, Haiti, I can survive survive at Afghanistan.
33:30
SPEAKER_01: So I was in a bit of a rough spot at that time.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't that I was being reckless, but I think I the pendulum swung too hard the other way.
33:41
SPEAKER_01: And it really left me with a lot of trauma on being able to not only deal with situations like that, the R fighter flight, but also to feel I'm not gonna say comfortable, but feel brave enough, willing enough to be vulnerable, because in my mind I left myself vulnerable in that darkish road, not even an alleyway, this road.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: And then this happened.
34:07
SPEAKER_01: So I could have just, you know, hunkered down by went the other way, once again, the pendulum.
34:13
SPEAKER_01: I went the other way and just decided, okay, now I'm gonna go to Iraq or Afghanistan or and find ways that are more within my control, which is kind of funny if you think about it.
34:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but it really impacted me, really made me think that, hey, you know, the the world isn't once again sunshine and rainbows.
34:32
SPEAKER_01: There's so many different variations of gray within the sliding scale.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: Well, and I even think about that experience, and like, yes, okay, it was in Haiti, but people have those experiences anywhere, right?
34:44
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's I think that's something, yeah, yeah.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: Wow, Horace.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: I did not expect the story to go that direction.
34:51
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, for the listeners at home, my jaw was on the floor the whole time.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: I just I was like, what?
34:57
SPEAKER_00: That's wow.
34:58
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it's so interesting too, because I didn't expect that third like experience to be almost a traumatic one that a lot of I mean, not almost, definitely a traumatic one, that a lot of folks would be like, cool, we're not doing this anymore.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: We're done.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: Right.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: But I it's it is fascinating that you that was, you know, something that you look at and you're like, I'm going for it.
35:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm going for, I'm gonna keep traveling.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: Super side note.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: Just noting with like our own friendship interactions and discussions, like it now makes total sense to me when you giggle and I'm like out here being like checklist, and then I'm fixed, right?
35:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, like it just now all the times where you, your eyes and your face have smiled when I say things like, I'll just do this thing and then I'll be fine.
35:40
SPEAKER_00: And then I just it really um because you know it, you've been through it.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
35:46
SPEAKER_00: I don't even I have so many things that I wanted to go down, but that's again, thank you for sharing that story as well.
35:53
SPEAKER_00: Like this is this is where we make these connections.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: And I think you you made a beautiful point about relationships and how there's magic in different relationships.
36:04
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, maybe you'll meet someone and you just won't really connect.
36:07
SPEAKER_00: And you kind of just like let that fizzle out, you know.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: That's not what we're talking about here.
36:10
SPEAKER_00: We're talking about like maybe those initial, like fresh connections that feel so good and there's a lot of fun there, right?
36:17
SPEAKER_00: And then you've got your like long-term relationships that you've, you know, you have to cultivate and really like explore and find new angles and and maybe you rekindle a friendship too.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: Like that there's a lot of like cool things with that when you find those connections with other people.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: I almost see a parallel for you with your experiences with different countries as well.
36:37
SPEAKER_00: You've basically met all these countries and you have some sort of relationship with all of them, right?
36:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm curious if you've ever thought about going back to Haiti.
36:45
SPEAKER_00: I would imagine probably not.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: But Haiti aside, what is it like to have and do you consider it having a relationship with all these countries?
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, what does that look like?
36:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like I I think I can see the parallel that you're talking about.
36:59
SPEAKER_01: And I think there is a relationship there.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: There's a relationship in like feeling excited to remeet or go back again, feeling less pressure, like when you meet something, someone new.
37:10
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, it's just for fun.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, like what does this other person think or whatever it is?
37:15
SPEAKER_00: I'll be here for a long weekend.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
37:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:18
SPEAKER_01: But I think there's a beauty in like getting to know someone and giving that time and energy and the intention in being able to do so.
37:26
SPEAKER_01: And I think about a place like I mean, many places in the world, but like I want to go back to Yemen as an example.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: And not because I had a bad time in Yemen, I had a great time.
37:35
SPEAKER_01: I I did something I think different than most people did.
37:38
SPEAKER_01: I met an amazing person and they really showed me not only what they thought of the country, but also the country, which is brief, but I really appreciated that.
37:48
SPEAKER_01: Then I think about a place like Japan, where it's my favorite country in the world, because not only are there things to do and people to see and meet and feel connected to and feel curious about, but I'm also putting the energy and effort into doing so.
38:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm putting the energy and effort to like plan out these things and do things differently, or if I go with people to show them things I'm excited to go see because they're special to me.
38:13
SPEAKER_01: So I've never considered it in terms of like the parallel of the relationship, but I can definitely see it now, now that you brought it up and made that connection, because not every country is the same or has had the same impact on me, which is honestly good and good and bad, right?
38:28
SPEAKER_01: Like it's good because like I don't want to get a gun pulled on me in 197 countries.
38:32
SPEAKER_01: That would be not not great.
38:33
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you are a tenacious fool if that's what's happening.
38:38
SPEAKER_00: Right?
38:39
SPEAKER_01: Gravy versus a foolishness, it's very, very uh fine-lined sometimes, but it makes me curious, you know, and I don't even have to visit the country.
38:46
SPEAKER_01: I love hearing about people's trips.
38:48
SPEAKER_01: I love hearing about people being excited about a trip, or and it's not just about the things that they do, but like kind of the viewpoint that they have, the perception that they have, what they're feeling about it.
38:59
SPEAKER_01: Gets me so excited.
39:01
SPEAKER_01: And then it's like, okay, after that, I'm gonna go book a trip to Japan or whatever country that they're talking about.
39:06
SPEAKER_00: It almost feels less of like a parallel between relationships that we have with people and relationships that we have with countries and places, right?
39:14
SPEAKER_00: And more of like this really intricate web, right?
39:16
SPEAKER_00: Because you started describing visiting places and building relationships with people in those places and then loving that place.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, I never would have expected expected Yemen to come out of your mouth, but you're like, I've got like a strong relationship there or have had really fun times with people there who know the place.
39:34
SPEAKER_00: And I get to see the love through them too.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: And that's just like cool too.
39:37
SPEAKER_00: And I, some of my best personal traveling experiences is when you are somewhere with a native, right?
39:42
SPEAKER_00: Someone who like knows it left, right, and center.
39:45
SPEAKER_00: And and you, I mean, it's almost like you feel safe because they know the recommendations.
39:50
SPEAKER_00: And yes, exploring new things, pushing your boundaries, that's a beautiful thing.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: And to like to enjoy a place through someone who's been there and is showing you all their favorite things.
40:00
SPEAKER_00: And then it's cool because you're like, and I do that for others.
40:03
SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't know how many times you've been to Japan, but I know you've gone with with friends and family and been like, let's go do this and let's do that.
40:09
SPEAKER_00: And I think Japan's a great example of a country that you can approach with so many perspectives, so many different angles, because they've got the very like, I mean, I do believe Tokyo is like there's enough where a westerner can feel comfortable, like being like, I'm visiting this tourism, you know, but I know that it's also very like culture shock outside of some of those like safer, like, and it's not just Tokyo.
40:34
SPEAKER_00: Actually, would you like to speak to that?
40:35
SPEAKER_00: Because I've actually never been to Japan other than the airport.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: So Which is completely fair, yeah.
40:39
SPEAKER_00: Talk about kind of the different perspectives and angles when you like re-approach a country.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: So I agree with exactly what you're saying.
40:46
SPEAKER_01: Like the thing that fascinates me about Japan is the dichotomy of it.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: It's both traditional yet modern, it can be so open yet so closed off, it can be so efficient, but also so frustratingly slow.
40:59
SPEAKER_01: And like it just reminds me that not only a country, but also we are multifaceted people.
41:05
SPEAKER_01: And you said something I think that's that's really key, the idea of like safety, the idea of like feeling safe, be it being brought by a native or being planned or whatever it is.
41:15
SPEAKER_01: And I think we as human beings, we muddle safety and familiarity in many, many cases, because there are many times around the world, doesn't not necessarily Japan, or it can be other places, but like I'm not familiar, but I can also be safe, or vice versa.
41:33
SPEAKER_01: And I travel a lot in the states, and there are, I don't want this to be like a state stashing thing, but you know, your closest neighbor.
41:42
SPEAKER_00: But like journey, it's a journey.
41:45
SPEAKER_00: I have a very, you know, we we've discussed how I lived overseas as a child very briefly.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: And so like I've got this weird like childhood perspective of everybody from everywhere.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: There's just so much wonderfulness, like the oneness of the world is so real, right?
41:59
SPEAKER_00: And that's like two to three-year-old Caitlin learned that.
42:02
SPEAKER_00: And then, yes, there's a it's a journey with the United States, but continue, Horace.
42:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think that's a good example, like early exposure.
42:11
SPEAKER_01: But the fact that, you know, you're outside of your uh your your city, your your county, your state, your your country, uh, that you see that hey, it's a familiar thing to say, oh, people are kind of similar, kind of different in different ways, but that doesn't mean that they're dangerous.
42:26
SPEAKER_01: It means that, hey, we may not be familiar with people from Yemen, but maybe there's a Yemeni restaurant down the street, hopefully, or maybe in the next town over, or maybe when you visit a bigger city that there's an opportunity to try that.
42:39
SPEAKER_01: And then it kind of allows you to feel like, oh, I know a little bit about this, or I've tried something that's similar to this, and then it's less scary and less unfamiliar.
42:48
SPEAKER_01: And rather than I say it's safer, but rather say, hey, actually, we're less unfamiliar with it, we can be more familiar with it.
42:57
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not recommending people they just go like war zones and like no.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: You are so many countries in, right?
43:03
SPEAKER_00: You had like you had a safety in travel where like you knew you knew a lot about traveling and you knew a lot of people who were just international travelers, that you could really source some information so that like you knew where to go, what to do to enjoy the country, but also take care of yourself.
43:23
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think that that's also a thing.
43:25
SPEAKER_00: But I also have a big like, uh, I just I want us to all get along.
43:29
SPEAKER_00: That's a whole other experience as well.
43:31
SPEAKER_00: That's a whole other experience.
43:32
SPEAKER_00: I do want to say to speak to like, you know, my experiences, you know, as an American too, like as Phil and I are taking a look at like what the, you know, doing the America's Great Loop looks like, I'm like, I'm looking at all these locations, I'm like, wow, like we forget how many like cultures are within our country, right?
43:50
SPEAKER_00: And the same thing with lots of countries all over the place.
43:53
SPEAKER_00: We were just, you know, diving into Japan a little bit.
43:56
SPEAKER_00: North and South of Japan are different experiences, you know.
43:59
SPEAKER_00: Like I Again, you know the region much better.
44:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna stop trying to speak to Japan, but like it's a really freaking cool thing.
44:05
SPEAKER_00: It's a really cool thing.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: Ugh.
44:07
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
44:08
SPEAKER_00: Well, you are so amazing.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: So all the things that you have shared, like I just could listen to you for hours, hours, hours.
44:13
SPEAKER_00: But let's start wrapping it up.
44:15
SPEAKER_00: I want to make sure I give you an opportunity.
44:17
SPEAKER_00: Is there anything from what we discussed or when you were thinking about our conversation today that you were like, oh, I cannot wait to share this, or this is something I really think will that you that you wanted to talk about?
44:27
SPEAKER_01: I think you've given me the opportunities to share.
44:30
SPEAKER_01: I think the things that are important to me really are like there are different ways people can live their lives.
44:37
SPEAKER_01: Like just because I live my life this way doesn't mean it's the only way to live.
44:41
SPEAKER_01: And I really think that your platform is a great example of like showing your different perspectives and like respecting and honoring those perspectives without saying, hey, I need to do that.
44:52
SPEAKER_01: That's the only way that Caitlin or Caitlin's guests say, hey, that's how how we have to live our lives.
44:57
SPEAKER_01: Because I think about this in so many different ways, where we don't try things sometimes, and then we already have these preconceived notions that it sucks or it's bad or it's disgusting or whatever.
45:09
SPEAKER_01: But also don't think that we can always dive in right away.
45:12
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot about bridges, bridges for us to get to where we want to go.
45:18
SPEAKER_01: And I talk to people a lot about this about food.
45:21
SPEAKER_01: I love food, love to eat, love to cook, love to find find restaurants.
45:25
SPEAKER_01: Food is so, so, so good to me and such a great connector.
45:29
SPEAKER_01: And I'm Asian Canadian.
45:31
SPEAKER_01: I grew up in a suburb that was had a lot of people from Hong Kong, uh, where I was born.
45:36
SPEAKER_01: But also I've eaten at restaurants that aren't traditionally either Chinese or Hong Kong Chinese.
45:43
SPEAKER_01: They're they're adapted foods, adapted foods to the local populace.
45:47
SPEAKER_01: And I think there's kind of a disdain sometimes when things get changed so much where it's almost unrecognizable.
45:53
SPEAKER_01: Like the fortune cookies aren't a thing in China.
45:55
SPEAKER_01: They were adopted, I think, with a shared history from Japan slash North American Chinese, I think in San Francisco, but it's become such a key thing in American Chinese cuisine, crab Rangoon, stuff like that.
46:07
SPEAKER_01: But I bring this up because we need those bridges to get familiar so that they aren't yucky or weird or unfamiliar, but they're like, oh, actually, I do it's this is something familiar, it's something similar to what I like.
46:21
SPEAKER_01: And we can still honor that.
46:23
SPEAKER_01: We can still honor that that variation, that adaptation, is still valid.
46:29
SPEAKER_01: It is still technically Chinese food, right?
46:31
SPEAKER_01: You're not going to get that at Taco Bell.
46:33
SPEAKER_01: But the fact that it can be so easy to judge, and I think there's a parallel to this because without that bridge, people won't be willing to try the other things, which then allows them to have the amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing experience that is possible, but not probable when you just dive into it.
46:53
SPEAKER_01: And I think that about that with my life, where I'm in my second country or even my first country was Afghanistan or Haiti, I guess I not definitely, I most likely would be a shut-in.
47:07
SPEAKER_01: You know, it would be just too much, too much of a shock.
47:10
SPEAKER_01: But things that have made it easier, honestly, you taught you touched on this, and I really, really want to highlight that.
47:16
SPEAKER_01: You touch about how it's some of the meaningful travels that you've had were with a native, someone who could show you, break down that fear and uncertainty and replace it, or interweave it with familiarity, you know, someone that you trust or someone that can guide you.
47:32
SPEAKER_01: But I I do want to put forward like another idea of that that's in the same vein.
47:36
SPEAKER_01: It's like a native is great, you know, if if the start of the line, all the better.
47:40
SPEAKER_01: But I think back to community.
47:42
SPEAKER_01: If we can find people who are willing, and we're both non-native to the area, but we're each equally curious, I think there can be a just as much fun, maybe in different ways.
47:57
SPEAKER_01: But I've done so many things, I've done so many things by myself, and uh I've done so many things I've shared maybe unidirectionally, like through social media or recounting stories.
48:11
SPEAKER_01: But the things that I do remember the most and I feel are the most meaningful to me are the shared experiences.
48:20
SPEAKER_01: The shared experiences that I've done it with other people, or we've all done it together, or um, I've met someone there and they they were a part of it.
48:29
SPEAKER_01: Those are things that really impacted me and have really they really have a huge impact on my life because I yearn to share.
48:37
SPEAKER_01: Like I said, I would love to share with my mom and she was still here, but I yearn to share because I think that we're we're conditioned, we're like that.
48:46
SPEAKER_01: We want community, we're human beings, we we crave that type of connection, and it just amplifies, I think, both the hard times, but also the the easier times, but also the meaningful times when there are people there who kind of understand us a little bit more.
49:01
SPEAKER_01: So I really appreciate you bringing me on this podcast because this is this another way of sharing, another forum, another way of this the intricate web of the community building uh that's so important to you and so important to me as well.
49:16
SPEAKER_00: It's it's how we became friends.
49:17
SPEAKER_00: We we ended up in in a book club together, you know, a book club that was all about connecting with other people and with ourselves in a lot of ways, but that's a whole nother conversation.
49:27
SPEAKER_00: Horace, if you are willing, where can people find you?
49:31
SPEAKER_00: Whether that be like how can they connect with you on either the interwebs or are you up for people connecting with you?
49:36
SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
49:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh I mainly post on Instagram.
49:40
SPEAKER_01: I love sharing my travels, I love interacting with people.
49:43
SPEAKER_01: So you can find me at at Horace T underscore.
49:46
SPEAKER_01: So H-O-R-A-C-E-T underscore.
49:51
SPEAKER_01: And one day when I finally get past all the barriers and do all the self-work, I will have a book out one day, but that's uh T B D.
50:00
SPEAKER_01: But you will find that out on my Instagram regardless.
50:02
SPEAKER_01: So you'll hear it on Instagram first.
50:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:05
SPEAKER_00: Or we'll have you back on the podcast.
50:07
SPEAKER_01: Either way.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
50:09
SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
50:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you truly are one of a kind and the best.
50:14
SPEAKER_00: And you're the freaking best, Horace.
50:16
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so grateful that you took the time today.
50:18
SPEAKER_00: And that's all she wrote, you know?
50:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I appreciate it.
50:22
SPEAKER_01: And I I don't know how mathematically it's possible, but you are you are also the best in your own way.
50:26
SPEAKER_01: So I really appreciate it.
50:27
SPEAKER_00: I know the superlatives.
50:28
SPEAKER_00: Anytime someone says, I tell someone they're the they're the best and they say you're the best, I'm like, that's not how superlatives work.
50:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
50:35
SPEAKER_01: But it's in a different way.
50:37
SPEAKER_01: But it's true, right?
50:38
SPEAKER_00: You are the best chorus, I'm the best Caitlin.
50:41
SPEAKER_01: That's true.
50:41
SPEAKER_00: Caitlin from Calvin.
50:43
SPEAKER_00: You are the best.
50:44
SPEAKER_00: You know.
50:45
SPEAKER_01: Sounds good.
50:46
SPEAKER_00: You are the best, you are the best, mate.
50:47
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
50:50
SPEAKER_00: Crafted Connections is lovingly produced by Calvin Creative Consulting, a strategic storytelling firm dedicated to helping people and brands tell their stories in a way that resonates.
51:01
SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and connect with us on Instagram at crafticconnections.com.
51:08
SPEAKER_00: Keep creating, keep connecting, and telling me to get.