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Lessons - Why Successful People Run Toward Fear | John Assaraf - NeuroGym Founder · Success Story with Scott Clary

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  In this lessons episode, explore how meaningful skill building starts with mastering essential foundations
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  before advancing toward bigger goals. Discover how deliberate practice and consistent routines
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  drive real progress, understand how fear can become a signal for clarity and growth,
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  and uncover how mental focus and emotional control elevate performance and long-term improvement.
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  When somebody wants to take on something new, so we understand how they're going to get from
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  point A to Z, it's not going to be easy, it's going to be habitual, it's going to be feedback
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  loop, it's going to be constant, it's going to be repetitive. Are there certain things that
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  they should do, like I guess it depends on the actual activity or the thing they're trying to
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  learn, but at a high level, like what should they be aware of, like the things that they should
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  be like writing stuff down, should it be practicing the thing daily, is there a minimum amount of
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  their life required to vote to that thing before they can actually succeed at it? Because if I
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  just read that script one time a day, even in six months, it may not be enough, but I have to
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  balance everything else going on in my life. And the way we balance is actually by making decisions
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  based on our highest values. And the highest need that we have at the time. So listen,
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  you're never going to solve this Rubenscube ever unless you know how to solve this one.
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  So you first need to ask what is the foundation that I need to put in place? What's the foundation
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  for the thing that I want to achieve? Listen, think about your watch with moving pieces inside,
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  think about your car, think about a rocket ship, think about a Rubik's Cube, think about staying
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  in shape. Are there not foundational things that need to be put in place before a second layer
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  and third and fourth? Think about building a house. Yeah, of course. Right. You don't focus on the
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  story of a house until you have the foundation. So let's not worry about the fifth story.
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  Ask yourself this question, this question, what are the foundational
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  musts that I need to have? What are the foundational musts that I need to have in order to get good
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  at those first? You can't run, okay, a marathon, okay? Unless you train at least, you know, a 10K
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  or a 5K. Like it would be ludicrous to try and go and win a marathon, right? But if you
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  committed to running a marathon a year from now and you ask yourself, okay, in order for me to run
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  a marathon a year from now, what do I need to know about running? What do I need to know about
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  equipment, shoes? What do I even know about hydration? What do I need to know about rest? What I
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  need to know about stretching? What do I need to know about food, the different types of fuel that
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  my body burns? Like, there's five things that start with that. Don't start running, start with
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  that. Now that you have a foundation, go, okay, great, what should I do my first week in running?
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  And we say, I don't know, great, go to Google. Just like, I'm going to begin a runner. What should
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  a beginner runner's process look like? Well, you begin a runner in shape, begin a runner out of
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  shape, male, female, weight, height, right? Whether there's certain things that you're going to need to
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  know. And then you say, okay, from those things, like, can I do that? Great, do that. Don't worry
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  about how you're going to run a five minute mile. One of the things that you mentioned before to
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  thought was interesting was that fear is a ghost signal for you. What does that mean exactly?
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  So, when, when you understand that fear is an automatic reaction that is triggered in your
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  subconscious mind, and yes, well, what is triggering that circuit? Like, think of fears, a light switch
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  on off, okay? So, if yes, what does fear or why does the fear circuit activate? Well,
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  it activates because there's something real or imagined from my database of experience,
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  okay, that is causing the fear circuit to activate. So, most people when the fear circuits
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  activated, the release of cortisol, epinephrine or norepinephrine or adrenaline is rushing through
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  their body. And what they don't realize is it's because of the fight flight or freeze signal
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  that fear is. It's part of the sympathetic nervous system being activated. So, whenever
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  mind is activated, right, I can feel the surge of that energy, right? It's energy in my body,
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  a neurochemical release, right? So, I can feel that energy and that means, right, that A,
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  I need to be aware of is the danger real or imagined?
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  Understood. I get it. I get it. That's why, and that's what, that's what it prompt you to,
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  to take action to start to figure out why you're even feeling that in the first place.
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  Correct. So, am I afraid of taking action because there's real danger? There was danger sometime
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  in my past, okay, or is it my imagining the danger because of something I've read or heard about,
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  et cetera? So, first, it's the awareness piece, right? So, whenever I feel fear, the first thing I
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  do is, is what I call, inner size number one, which is take six calm the circuit of fear. I want
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  to make decisions out of my Einstein brain, not my Frankenstein monster brain. Fear is because
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  this part of the brain has been activated. It's called the right prefrontal cortex. So,
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  it's not that I don't want to listen to the signal. I want to understand what tripped that wire.
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  So, first thing I do is deactivate. Listen, if I'm like walking along the street,
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  I'm about to, you know, go off the sidewalk to the street that I hear,
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  a car coming in, I jump off. Perfect. Perfect time for the fear signal to work.
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  Right? I'm just going to retreat fast. No worries. That's, that's a great reaction.
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  But if I want to raise money, if I want to hire employees, if I want to merge with another company,
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  if I want to release weight, even though I've lost a released weight 25 times, if I want to go
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  across the room to ask a young lady or a young man, you know, who they are because I'm attracted to
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  them. If I feel that surge of fear, that's because something in my memory, okay, in my experience
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  um, um, um, library is activating that there might be something that can cause me to fail,
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  to be embarrassed to shame ridiculed judge, to be disappointed, to be rejected.
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  So, I want to calm that circuit first. I want to thank the signal, calm the circuit,
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  and then I want to be aware of like what is causing that. So,
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  inner-size number one takes six calm the circuit, inner-size number two is called AIA,
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  AIA, which is standing for, I want to be aware of my thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations,
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  and behaviors. Now I'm operating from a state of awareness. I want to analyze those and then I
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  want to set my intention. What's my intention? Well, my intention is to follow through and do
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  this because I want the reward. My intention is to protect myself. Great. How can I do that?
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  So, AIA is awareness, intention, then what's one action I could take that moves me towards
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  what I want and not away from it. Now who's in control? Now who's gaining more self-confidence? Now
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  who's gaining more self-trust? Now who's gaining more awareness? Now who is taking inspired action?
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  And now who is deliberately and consciously evolving themselves being versus being a victim of
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  past conditioning? In many cases, my parents, you are, you are, when you feel that, when you feel
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  that fear, that's like you're like, that's like your flag that I need to follow these steps,
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  take these actions, get the hell out of my comfort zone. So fear is indicator for that you're pushing
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  inside your comfort zone, basically. And that's it. Yeah. And also think about this. Why do
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  firefighters get training on going into a burning building or building that's blowing up? And
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  how do they manage the fear? Death. I mean, death is possible. Real death. That's like the highest
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  level of fear. Navy seals. When they discovered that there was an issue many years ago, Scott, when
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  Navy seals were going through the entire motions of becoming a Navy seal, many of them failed the
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  last test. What was the last test? There was submerged underwater with all of their equipment on
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  and three instructors would go down there with them, you know, 20 feet below the water,
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  they'd remove their mask, remove their, their BC, their regulator, they shut off their air supply,
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  they pulled off their fins, they, they created chaos. And you know what the Navy seals that were
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  untrained wanted to do? Both right up to because they were afraid they're going to die.
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  And when they taught the Navy seals to stay calm so they could respond versus react out of fear,
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  they graduated 50% more Navy seals. What was the difference? The difference was mental awareness,
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  emotional control, and practicing the skill of staying calm. They teach it to Navy seals,
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  they teach it to firefighters, they teach it to astronauts when life is on the line.
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  Well, those are the Olympic athletes of emotional control. Well, that means that we could be
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  better at mental focus and emotional control. And what if it's just a function of practicing?
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  The reason I started my company, my neurogym, right? And the reason I wrote inner
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  sizes to give people the understanding that that we have this $100 billion bio computer, the most
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  advanced sophisticated, okay? Organism is I like to call it in the universe. We already own it,
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  no mortgage, no payment plans, but we're maybe not very good operators of it. And so part of my
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  war cry is to help people understand that you are capable of way more than you're displaying
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  right on me too. So I just want to constantly never end my improvements.
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  Thanks for tuning in. If you found this valuable, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so
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  you never miss an episode. And if you want to dive deeper into this conversation,
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  check out the links in the description to watch the full episode. See you in the next one.