Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #899 Social Media, Sleep Patterns, Toddlers & Tech
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for.
- 0:07Speaker 2: The time poor parent who just wants answers.
- 0:10Speaker 1: Now, Hello and welcome to the Happy Family's Podcast. My
- 0:12Speaker 1: name's doctor Justin Colson. I'm here with my wife from
- 0:14Speaker 1: Under our six Kids, Miss Happy Families, Kylie Coulson. For
- 0:19Speaker 1: one of my favorite episodes of the podcast and the
- 0:22Speaker 1: one that Kylie gets more excited about each month than
- 0:24Speaker 1: any other podcast. You're smiling at me.
- 0:26Speaker 2: Like for all the wrong reasons.
- 0:28Speaker 1: What do you mean, what do you get excited about
- 0:30Speaker 1: this podcast for? It's the doctor's desk excite. How would
- 0:33Speaker 1: you describe it? Don't answer that question. We have three
- 0:37Speaker 1: studies to talk about today, and they're fun studies. They're
- 0:41Speaker 1: the kind of studies that get people opinionated, I think
- 0:45Speaker 1: is the right word. We're going to talk about teenagers
- 0:47Speaker 1: and their mental health when it comes to screens. We're
- 0:50Speaker 1: going to talk about toddlers and their problematic media use
- 0:54Speaker 1: when it comes to screens. And then we're going to
- 0:56Speaker 1: talk about teenagers in love and what it's doing to
- 0:59Speaker 1: the their sleep and their well being. And we'll tell
- 1:02Speaker 1: you why we discourage your kids from having any kind
- 1:05Speaker 1: of romantic relationship. Until I've finished high school. And it
- 1:08Speaker 1: ties in so well with the research. Where do you
- 1:10Speaker 1: want to start, Kylie?
- 1:11Speaker 2: Well, you sent me through some data which is just
- 1:15Speaker 2: blowing my mind.
- 1:17Speaker 1: Really new gallup seas just pause here? Are you telling
- 1:20Speaker 1: me that the doctor's desk is actually blowing your mind?
- 1:23Speaker 2: It always blows my mind. It doesn't mean I'm excited
- 1:25Speaker 2: about it.
- 1:27Speaker 1: By the way, for those of you who knew to
- 1:28Speaker 1: the podcast, once a month we go through the later
- 1:30Speaker 1: science as it relates to parenting. That's what we're doing here.
- 1:33Speaker 1: So what's the data say that blew your mind? Honeybun?
- 1:36Speaker 2: It shows that US teenagers spend an average of four
- 1:40Speaker 2: point eight hours per day using social media.
- 1:44Speaker 1: Okay, just stop there. This is really important. We're not
- 1:46Speaker 1: talking about other screen time. We're speaking specifically about social media.
- 1:49Speaker 1: Let's round it up four point eight let's call it
- 1:51Speaker 1: five hours per day on social media.
- 1:55Speaker 2: So kids are at school for six yeah hours make
- 2:00Speaker 2: out the lunch breaks, six hours at school. This is huge.
- 2:04Speaker 1: Yeah, so five hours a day and they've still got
- 2:06Speaker 1: to watch TV, do homework, play video games, and do
- 2:10Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff as well. So a huge
- 2:12Speaker 1: amount of screen time.
- 2:13Speaker 2: But then it goes on to say that nearly thirty
- 2:16Speaker 2: percent of teenagers surveyed spent upwards of six hours.
- 2:22Speaker 1: Huge, huge numbers. So what do you think they're doing?
- 2:26Speaker 1: If you were to guess what they're doing, where would
- 2:28Speaker 1: you point.
- 2:30Speaker 2: I think for a lot of them, there is a
- 2:32Speaker 2: huge level of communication going on using their social platform.
- 2:37Speaker 1: Yes, so instruments snap are huge for communication and sharing
- 2:40Speaker 1: ideas and things with one another.
- 2:43Speaker 2: But I would suggest that the majority of their time
- 2:45Speaker 2: would be scrolling.
- 2:46Speaker 1: Yeah, and the two most popular platforms YouTube and TikTok
- 2:52Speaker 1: YouTube and TikTok.
- 2:53Speaker 2: I was actually just talking to a handful of girls
- 2:54Speaker 2: the other day in relation to their school is get
- 2:59Speaker 2: away and these kids they're not up for partying at
- 3:02Speaker 2: night or anything like that. So one of the girls
- 3:04Speaker 2: would go to the other girls room and she said
- 3:06Speaker 2: she was literally on TV watching the infomercials, literally just
- 3:12Speaker 2: one advertisement after the other. Like, our kids are just
- 3:17Speaker 2: happy to be consumers of content, regardless of what the
- 3:23Speaker 2: content is.
- 3:23Speaker 1: Yeah, So this this is the really interesting for me.
- 3:26Speaker 1: In this research that came out of Gallop, they found
- 3:29Speaker 1: that kids that the main reason that they're using their
- 3:32Speaker 1: screens is are you ready for it?
- 3:34Speaker 2: Boredom.
- 3:35Speaker 1: Boredom. Yeah, and this is why I keep on saying
- 3:37Speaker 1: that it's not good for kids to be bored. Like
- 3:39Speaker 1: in the Mummy blogger sphere and all other instagram and
- 3:41Speaker 1: even a lot of parenting experts, they are constantly saying, Yeah,
- 3:43Speaker 1: it's good for kids to be bored because they're going
- 3:45Speaker 1: to get creative and because they're going to discover stuff.
- 3:47Speaker 1: And it's like, no, they're not. They're going to sit
- 3:48Speaker 1: on their screens. They're going to stir at social media
- 3:51Speaker 1: for five or six hours a day, which is what
- 3:52Speaker 1: this research is showing. We've got to we've got to
- 3:56Speaker 1: be really mindful of that. Now, the research is looking
- 3:58Speaker 1: at mental health problems and screen use, and this is
- 4:00Speaker 1: where it gets really provocative. Okay, so there is a
- 4:03Speaker 1: relationship in this data highlighting that higher levels of screen
- 4:07Speaker 1: use are associated with mental health problems. But and I
- 4:10Speaker 1: can't emphasize this enough. This is something that I've been
- 4:13Speaker 1: so conflicted by this over the years, and I'm starting
- 4:15Speaker 1: to firm up my opinion and ironically it's going counter
- 4:19Speaker 1: to the prevailing opinion, which often happens with me. But
- 4:24Speaker 1: the reason for it is this social media critics are
- 4:27Speaker 1: all about saying screens are damaging our kids. And there's
- 4:30Speaker 1: no doubt that some kids truly are being harmed by
- 4:34Speaker 1: what's going on with screens and social media use. But
- 4:36Speaker 1: the data shows that the effects of this are really small,
- 4:39Speaker 1: particularly in relation to the large decline in mental health
- 4:43Speaker 1: over the last couple of decades. Like, it's a genuinely
- 4:46Speaker 1: small decline. And also there's a difference between correlation and causation,
- 4:50Speaker 1: which is super important to highlight.
- 4:53Speaker 2: Hang on, you're saying that there's been a massive decline
- 4:56Speaker 2: in mental health.
- 4:58Speaker 1: Sorry, okay, okay, mental illness is on the way up.
- 5:01Speaker 1: I'm so glad you pick that up. I hear so many,
- 5:03Speaker 1: even medical professionals, they say, oh, yeah, yeah, the problem
- 5:06Speaker 1: was mental health. No, the problem is not mental health.
- 5:08Speaker 1: The problem is mental illness or a lack of mental health.
- 5:11Speaker 1: Please don't say that somebody's issue is mental health. That's
- 5:14Speaker 1: not the issue. The issue is mental illness or a
- 5:17Speaker 1: lack of mental health.
- 5:18Speaker 2: So there's been a decline in mental health, which means
- 5:21Speaker 2: an increase in mental illness.
- 5:24Speaker 1: Correct, that's exactly right. Now, they are different things. You
- 5:27Speaker 1: can actually have high levels of mental illness and still
- 5:31Speaker 1: be functioning reasonably well and have high levels of well
- 5:33Speaker 1: being at the same time, in the same way that
- 5:35Speaker 1: you can have high levels of grief but still have
- 5:38Speaker 1: moments of joy, delight, and happiness. Okay, so two things
- 5:41Speaker 1: can be true at once. Anyway, that's a kind of
- 5:43Speaker 1: a side note. What's really driving the So I've got
- 5:47Speaker 1: a friend. His name is Andy Shapulski works at Oxford
- 5:50Speaker 1: at the Institute of the Oxford Internet Institute, and Andy
- 5:54Speaker 1: Shappowski has famously said that the amount of time you
- 5:58Speaker 1: spend on screen means, including social media, matters less for
- 6:03Speaker 1: your well being than how many potatoes you eat each week,
- 6:05Speaker 1: which is quite a provocative thing to say. In other words,
- 6:08Speaker 1: your well being is affected more by the potatoes you
- 6:10Speaker 1: eat and how much social media time you're getting. And
- 6:12Speaker 1: what he's really highlighting here is something that I think
- 6:15Speaker 1: is really important, and this research I think supports this.
- 6:18Speaker 1: Social media in and of itself may or may not
- 6:22Speaker 1: be a problem. But if kids are living whole and
- 6:26Speaker 1: balanced lives, if they're getting outside, moving their bodies, well,
- 6:29Speaker 1: if they're living whole.
- 6:29Speaker 2: And balanced lives, they don't have six hours to sit
- 6:32Speaker 2: on a screen.
- 6:33Speaker 1: They probably don't. That's right, they're going to be getting
- 6:34Speaker 1: enough sleep, and they're going to be spending time with
- 6:36Speaker 1: their friends and spending time in a relationship. I think
- 6:39Speaker 1: that the decline in well being for our children is
- 6:43Speaker 1: actually related more to a lack of physical activity, a
- 6:46Speaker 1: lack of time in nature, a lack of play, and
- 6:50Speaker 1: increased control by parents, increased expectations by parents that the
- 6:56Speaker 1: kids have got to be amazing to me, that's what
- 6:58Speaker 1: it comes down to. Support to why I'm saying it.
- 7:01Speaker 1: Have listened to this. This is from the Gallop poll
- 7:03Speaker 1: that was run with the Institute for Family Studies in
- 7:05Speaker 1: the United States. Children they found who exhibit greater self control,
- 7:11Speaker 1: So that's a personality characteristic. If you've go kids who
- 7:14Speaker 1: are more conscientious. In other words, children who are more
- 7:17Speaker 1: conscientious or have greater self control, and or who live
- 7:21Speaker 1: with their parents who restrict screen time and supervise them
- 7:25Speaker 1: and have a strong relationship with them spend a whole
- 7:27Speaker 1: lot less time on social media than those without these characteristics.
- 7:31Speaker 1: They found that, for example, adolescence who exhibit high levels
- 7:33Speaker 1: of conscientiousness spend on average about one point two hours
- 7:36Speaker 1: less per day on social media than those scoring low
- 7:38Speaker 1: on conscientiousness, and if they're living with a parent who
- 7:41Speaker 1: agrees or strongly agrees that he or she should restrict
- 7:44Speaker 1: screen time, then the adolescent reports one point seven few
- 7:47Speaker 1: hours on average of social media use compared to adolescents
- 7:50Speaker 1: whose parents don't restrict screen time. In other words, we're
- 7:54Speaker 1: talking about up to three hours with conscientious Kids whose
- 7:57Speaker 1: parents are involved in their lives and are saying, hey,
- 7:59Speaker 1: we need to keep an eye in your screen time,
- 8:01Speaker 1: they're going to do better. Youth who report a stronger
- 8:03Speaker 1: and more loving relationship with their caregivers and spend less
- 8:05Speaker 1: time unsupervised also use social media less frequently, and guess
- 8:09Speaker 1: why their mental health is better. So I think all
- 8:11Speaker 1: of this stuff kind of combines to say, live healthy,
- 8:14Speaker 1: happy lives, and screens can play a part in your
- 8:18Speaker 1: life and you'll be okay. But if you're not doing well,
- 8:21Speaker 1: screens are only going to amplify and magnify that challenge.
- 8:27Speaker 2: So studying number two, four hundred and thirty five parents
- 8:31Speaker 2: actually participated in this study.
- 8:33Speaker 1: Yeah, and this one is looking at toddlers and their screens.
- 8:36Speaker 1: Let's go through this one fairly quickly, because well, we've
- 8:38Speaker 1: talked too long about the first one, and I really
- 8:40Speaker 1: want to get to the third one because it's fun. Basically,
- 8:43Speaker 1: Jane Shawcroft, she's at the University of California Davis. She
- 8:46Speaker 1: studies how we can leverage media and technology for emotional health.
- 8:51Speaker 1: And she's got all these parents looking at their kids
- 8:53Speaker 1: at two and a half, three and a half, and
- 8:54Speaker 1: four and a half. So it's a two year study
- 8:56Speaker 1: looking at their TV use and their tablet use. Study
- 8:59Speaker 1: was published in technol Your Minor Behavior, and what they
- 9:01Speaker 1: basically found is that the overwhelming majority of parents, sixty
- 9:05Speaker 1: four percent of parents have some sort of rule about
- 9:08Speaker 1: how much TV time their kids get, and most of them,
- 9:12Speaker 1: about twenty two percent, are saying yet less than an
- 9:15Speaker 1: hour day is ideal for our two and a half
- 9:17Speaker 1: year old.
- 9:18Speaker 2: So this doesn't surprise me because on the podcast specifically
- 9:21Speaker 2: but kind of, I guess general speaking, you'll hear the
- 9:27Speaker 2: notion that less than two hours a day of screen
- 9:31Speaker 2: time is optimal for our kids growing up. So to
- 9:34Speaker 2: see that rule playing out in more than half the parents,
- 9:38Speaker 2: that doesn't shock me at all.
- 9:41Speaker 1: That yeah, and I'll even add with kids under five,
- 9:43Speaker 1: less than an hour's ideal, so that's consistent with that.
- 9:47Speaker 1: But This is the really interesting thing. Only forty percent
- 9:51Speaker 1: of parents that they had some sort of rule about
- 9:52Speaker 1: their kids use of tablets.
- 9:54Speaker 2: So I am actually not surprised about that either. And
- 9:57Speaker 2: the reason I'm not surprised about it is because I
- 10:01Speaker 2: think most parents will acknowledge that a tablet or an
- 10:04Speaker 2: iPhone when we're out and about is the best distraction
- 10:09Speaker 2: for our kids. If we need our kids occupied, but
- 10:11Speaker 2: we have to have them in our space. You're out
- 10:15Speaker 2: at a restaurant, you're going shopping, you're at the dottres,
- 10:19Speaker 2: all of those kinds of things. It's so easy to
- 10:21Speaker 2: give your child a screen which keeps them completely occupied.
- 10:26Speaker 2: You know that they will be exactly where you left them.
- 10:30Speaker 2: They're not moving, they're not going anywhere. You might not
- 10:32Speaker 2: even get a yes or a no from them because
- 10:34Speaker 2: they're so engrossed in what they're doing. So it doesn't
- 10:36Speaker 2: actually surprise me that parents don't kind of see this
- 10:39Speaker 2: as problematic because it's actually such a helpful tool.
- 10:42Speaker 1: Yeah, so only ten percent of parents said that they
- 10:44Speaker 1: didn't allow their kids to have used a tablet, So
- 10:46Speaker 1: pretty much everyone's like, yeah, kids can use it, we
- 10:48Speaker 1: don't really have any rules for it. What the research
- 10:50Speaker 1: has found was that it takes time to really get results. Here,
- 10:55Speaker 1: they found that from two and a half to three
- 10:56Speaker 1: and a half there was no real issue when it
- 10:58Speaker 1: came to problematic media, but by the time the kids
- 11:00Speaker 1: before and a half, there was a really really big increase.
- 11:03Speaker 1: The more kids were allowed to use their screens, particularly tablets,
- 11:06Speaker 1: but even the TV, the more likely it was that
- 11:08Speaker 1: there was going to be problematic media use. So a
- 11:10Speaker 1: couple of really simple lessons here. Number one, sometimes it
- 11:14Speaker 1: takes a while to figure out what social media or
- 11:16Speaker 1: tablets or screens generally TV what it's doing to our kids. Definitely, definitely.
- 11:23Speaker 1: The second thing to say would be the rules about
- 11:25Speaker 1: TV and screens and tablets and things actually do matter,
- 11:29Speaker 1: Like as parents, we need to be across this with
- 11:31Speaker 1: our little kids, otherwise it could be unhealthy. And the
- 11:34Speaker 1: third rule would be just to be really intentional, Like
- 11:37Speaker 1: we're not saying don't put the kids in front of screens.
- 11:40Speaker 1: We're saying be purposeful. No when you're doing it, know
- 11:43Speaker 1: why you're doing it, know what they're doing there, and
- 11:46Speaker 1: make sure that there are reasonable limits. Because the kids
- 11:48Speaker 1: need to live whole, balanced, full lives. They need to
- 11:50Speaker 1: be connected with you. They need to be playing, they
- 11:52Speaker 1: need to be outdoors in nature. It's almost the same
- 11:54Speaker 1: as what we were talking about before with the teenagers and
- 11:56Speaker 1: their social media use. So I got a careful for
- 11:59Speaker 1: you throw out my way.
- 12:00Speaker 2: So we've got a two month old grandchild, ye, and
- 12:04Speaker 2: she has just in the last few weeks become very engaged.
- 12:11Speaker 2: You've got great eye contact. She lights up when she
- 12:14Speaker 2: sees you walk in the room. And they've been away
- 12:17Speaker 2: for a few days and Chanelle has actually called so
- 12:21Speaker 2: that I can see the baby and talk to her.
- 12:23Speaker 2: And I've watched as the screen's got closer and my
- 12:27Speaker 2: face is right there, her whole eyes light up, and
- 12:31Speaker 2: she kind of gets a little bit stiff and kicks
- 12:33Speaker 2: her legs and she's really excited. So we've got families
- 12:36Speaker 2: all around the world who are dealing with distance and
- 12:40Speaker 2: having the capacity to see your loved one's face on
- 12:45Speaker 2: a screen. How does that impact kids? I guess curiosity
- 12:49Speaker 2: as they grow in wanting to have access to screens.
- 12:53Speaker 1: So they're definitely going to want to have screens because
- 12:55Speaker 1: they're familiar with them, but also they're excitatory and their
- 12:57Speaker 1: stimulatory OK, that's going to happen. I think it's really
- 13:00Speaker 1: important to remember this. That kind of contact is delightful
- 13:06Speaker 1: if it's the only contact you can get, But we
- 13:08Speaker 1: still want to keep screens still on minimum. We know
- 13:10Speaker 1: that screens are affecting babies and toddler's brains in ways
- 13:14Speaker 1: that are not healthy. That's the first thing. Secondly, on
- 13:17Speaker 1: the Doctor's Desk podcast, maybe about nine months ago, we
- 13:20Speaker 1: did an episode where I talked about how kids were
- 13:23Speaker 1: either engaged in a face to face interaction with a
- 13:25Speaker 1: parent or they were engaged in a technology based interaction
- 13:28Speaker 1: face to face through the screens. And what the research
- 13:31Speaker 1: has found was that there was about twenty percent of
- 13:36Speaker 1: the brain lighting up and getting excited about the interaction
- 13:40Speaker 1: when it was on a screen, whereas one hundred percent
- 13:43Speaker 1: was going crazy when it was face to face. In
- 13:45Speaker 1: other words, you just can't beat the real thing.
- 13:48Speaker 2: Of course, but when the real thing's not there.
- 13:50Speaker 1: Well you take what you can get when the real
- 13:53Speaker 1: thing's on there, but you push for the real thing.
- 13:55Speaker 2: I'm really missing us Number three is one that you're
- 13:58Speaker 2: obviously extremely excited about.
- 14:00Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't have a lot of time for it,
- 14:02Speaker 1: but let's go.
- 14:02Speaker 2: A new study published in The Behavioral Sleep Medicine Journal
- 14:05Speaker 2: has found that beginning a romantic relationship or going through
- 14:08Speaker 2: a breakup can impact poorly upon the sleep of adolescence.
- 14:12Speaker 2: But it's suggesting particularly in younger adolescent females.
- 14:17Speaker 1: Okay, so we have this feels.
- 14:20Speaker 2: Can I just say this feels a little bit from
- 14:23Speaker 2: the Journal of Dure.
- 14:25Speaker 1: The journal, Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, because when you
- 14:28Speaker 1: are in a new relationship is very exciting and you
- 14:30Speaker 1: can't sleep, And when a relationship breaks up, you're very
- 14:32Speaker 1: sad and you can't sleep.
- 14:36Speaker 2: Like the dopamine hit. We get from connection, real deep connection.
- 14:44Speaker 1: Is you're someone's special, someone so addictive.
- 14:48Speaker 2: We are wired to connect, and the younger these relationships start,
- 14:54Speaker 2: the harder it is, I think.
- 14:55Speaker 1: University of Pennsylvania researchers found that adolescents can be impacted
- 15:00Speaker 1: emotionally and behaviorally, research suggesting issues like lowered self esteem,
- 15:04Speaker 1: more mood swings, more alcohol, and substance abuse when kids
- 15:07Speaker 1: break up, when a relationship falls apart, and they're in
- 15:09Speaker 1: their teens, so they had it a little over seven
- 15:11Speaker 1: thousand middle and high school kids followed for around about
- 15:14Speaker 1: a year or thereabouts, and they basically looked at sleep duration, insomnia,
- 15:18Speaker 1: romantic experiences, and they found that experiencing either the start
- 15:22Speaker 1: or the end of a relationship was associated with sleep
- 15:25Speaker 1: problems or a lack of sleep or both. Not, like
- 15:29Speaker 1: you said, not revelatory in any massive way, but are
- 15:32Speaker 1: reminded when you've got young kids, especially because they're using
- 15:35Speaker 1: their screens so much. They don't switch off. They're texting
- 15:38Speaker 1: each other at eight, at nine and ten, at eleven
- 15:40Speaker 1: and twelve o'clock at night, and they're doing everything they
- 15:42Speaker 1: can to be together during the relationship, and at the
- 15:45Speaker 1: end of the relationship, it really affects their well being.
- 15:48Speaker 1: We have discouraged our kids from having relationships of any
- 15:52Speaker 1: kind of a romantic nature while they're at school. We
- 15:54Speaker 1: haven't always succeeded with that because we don't force our kids,
- 15:57Speaker 1: but this is one of the reasons why it affects
- 16:00Speaker 1: well being so much.
- 16:01Speaker 2: Well. I think the thing that stood out to me
- 16:03Speaker 2: in this study was just the acknowledgment that younger adolescents
- 16:07Speaker 2: under fifteen years of age, this is bigger and harder
- 16:09Speaker 2: for them because they just there's so much going on
- 16:12Speaker 2: in their development at that point in time. So the
- 16:15Speaker 2: longer we can prolong those romantic relationships. I think, the
- 16:20Speaker 2: happier our kids going to be.
- 16:22Speaker 1: We need to wrap it up there. We'll link to
- 16:23Speaker 1: these studies in our show notes so that you can
- 16:26Speaker 1: check them out for yourself if there's anything that sparked
- 16:29Speaker 1: some interest for you. The Happy Family's podcast is produced
- 16:31Speaker 1: by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our
- 16:34Speaker 1: executive producer. More information about making your family happy is
- 16:37Speaker 1: available at happy families dot com dot au