Latest / Jess Ask / Why Sobriety Brings Clarity and Purpose | with Desiree Danielle | EP67

Transcript

Why Sobriety Brings Clarity and Purpose | with Desiree Danielle | EP67 · Jess Ask

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl Jessica and Smith, and you already
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: know that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have fun and just ask God.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: For another Do you already know what it is? And
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: then you know it's about to get real.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: To be sure to show your girl the love and
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: like coming subscribe God.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: For another day. Hey, hey, I know we could be
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: another way than.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: What this song around the house.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: I think that's a prophety Prophety's rain it is, Oh baby,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: to be like you are? What it's of my favorite?
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Oh really, I need to put that back on my players.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Shout out to my mama, Shout out to my mama, y'all.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: I can't ready you.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: In recording already. Just a little bit, just a little bit.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: It's okay, y'all. Yo yo yo, yo, yo yo, I
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: got my little.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Bow going on today.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Not it's in my mind, not not in actuality, yo
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: yo yo. It's your girl Jessica is Smith and I
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: am super excited that you are here today. You know
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: what it is, just as the podcast where we create
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: a safe space for influences to decompress, have fun and
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: guess what, just ass y'all it's just me and desilrat
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: to day. But that's the special treat all the time.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: We're the gifts that keeps on giving, keep giving, get.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Given before before we do another song, you already know
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: it's so on.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: They won't deserate, won't deilate. Des all right, thats all right?
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: That a right, that's all right, that's all right. Does alright,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: desil rate.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: How you doing? You look?
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: You look a little safe in today, got a little shoulder,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Look at look?
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: What the what the take?
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: You say?
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Don't it's prayer and love. Oh, we don't say, don't
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: get she got me singing.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: It's prayer and she got me. Listen, I'm just saying,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: prayering love. Yes, So you want him to prayer and
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: love you? Yes, on your shoulders.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I ain't trying, I ain't trying. I'm just I keep
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: it the real, honey. I want my man to touch me. Listen.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: If you're gonna touch me on my shoulder, that's a
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: starting place, you know what I'm saying. Like when I
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: get married, y'all, just you know, hope you know, compare
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: to be sick of me. Prepare like mark the calendar.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: The wedding day is the starting point. So go ahead
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: and prepare your minds, get you get.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Your house in order. Whoa doue it today?
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Like for real, Like I am prepared to be sick
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: of me and him. Yeah, this is definitely not can
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: you put the cameras on you?
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Here you go? Sorry, my bad.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: This is definitely not on topic today. But since we
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: were in this vein, Okay, let's go. I went to
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: my pastor preached at a women's conference and I went
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: to support and I just loved it. Was a local,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: local church here and this was her the first lady's
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: first women's conference that she was putting on. So my
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: church showed up, you know, the women in our church
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: showed up, and then there were members of their church
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: that was there too. But what I love to see
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: is the pastor of the church is the husband. And
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: so all throughout the program, he would get up, you know,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: he would you know kind of he was kind of facilitating,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: but he just continued to like praise her and just
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: encourage her because this was her first thing, you know,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: her first time doing something like this.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was just so beautiful, Like.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: He prayed over her, you know, he spoke, he spoke
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: into her like he prophesied over her, and I was
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: just like, Lord, please, whatever you do, Lord, I need
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: that type because it's needed because for one, he he
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: could do all that because from one, he understands the
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: role as a husband right from one.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Two he understands the oil that he's protecting.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Girl almost thought, I just almost shot it for myself.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: He not only does he understand his role as a husband,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: but he understands the oil that he's protecting.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: And I think a lot of.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Times where we mismanage ourselves as single women, like I
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: can only speak about a single women. I can't speak
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: of singles. I can speak about single woman because that's
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: what I am. Okay, the way where we miss out
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: on that is we we think everybody can manage the oil,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: everybody can manage.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: The gifts and the anointing.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: On our lives because we because we want to force
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: them into it, we want to train them into it.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: But there is a special, a special type of partnership
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: that God is going to bless us with. And you
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: know what, I'm gonna stop calling a partnership because and
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: call it a marriage. Because I was listening to Dave
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Ramsey today, Yeah, it was just you know how the
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: reels be be really you know, some of these reels
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: be real, okay. And he was talking to a young
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: lady that called into his podcast and she said, she said,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: how should we split everything or whatever?
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: He said, it shouldn't be no split. It's one.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: He said, when you went to the altar, you didn't say, okay,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: we're gonna separate this. And there he said, y'all should
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: be one, right, And he says, my is not It's
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: not me or my, it's our. He said, we need
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: to change the pronouns. He said, it's not a part
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: This is not a partnership. This is not a business deal.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: This is a marriage. And that made me think about
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: this so differently due to the fact that I think
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: we we allow the world to change our vocabulary, but
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: when we're kingdom, our vocabulary should be king.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: We should not change our vocabulary to fit the worldly matters.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: It says that be not of this world, you know
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And if we're not of this world,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: then we can't really play and dabble into worldly things.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Because now we think in partnership, we're gonna treat it
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: like a partnership. That's why we gotta have high divorce rate.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: We don't have marriages or I don't have a marriage.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I have a partners well, you know, not to you know,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: shame or anything like that. But anybody can have a
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: partnership and be in a relationship. You know what I'm
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: saying that everybody got rights to marry each other. Now
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: male female female, male female female, whatever you feel about it.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: But if I'm Kingdom, I'm in a marriage. I'm not
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: calling a partner. So I think I got another lot.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: That quickly changed, and I was like, oh no, we
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: ain't separate anything. Because if I'm going in separate, I'm
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: looking to be separated. So what I deem my marriage
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: is what it should it shall be. And Dave Ram's
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: been married alone on time and he and he ain't
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: broke and he's not in debt. So people gotta have
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: a problem. But the man of God doing something right now.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I went through I did financial peace as a small group.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: You talk who you're talking. You're talking to me? Are
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: you talking to him? She has a y'all, just put
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: and bring it back to me. Bring it back.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Can somebody email her and tell her that to this
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: switchboard work? When she pressed the button. Okay, go ahead,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: thank you. I did his program. But you know, God
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: is so intentional, and this was really random. The other
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: morning in prayer, I was just praying, you know, I
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: was just kind of sitting and listening. I pray a
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: little bit and he that's and and he began to
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: drop the Man of God in my spirit.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know who the man of God the Man
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: of God.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: And so as I'm sitting there like like these uh,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: scriptures begin to come and I just begin to write
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: him down. And there were scriptures about like unity, about forgiveness, love,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: you know, the first of.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: First corinthings I believe.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: And I was just like, Lord, that is just so
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: interesting because it's not something that's like necessarily on my mind,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: but it's obviously at the time it was on the
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: mind of God just as and that's part like the preparation.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: He begins to kind of just prepare your heart for
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: the different seasons that are coming in. But you have
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: to be open to that, you know, open for the
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: preparation and open for the seasons. I just keep thinking
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: about what pastor A told me a couple of couple
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: of months ago, is that I have to accept God's
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: path and it just keep that, just keep it just
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: playing in my spirit because as we're you know, I've
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: been bucking the system for a little bit.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: You know, I've been trying to book the system.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: But it's like when you just begin to accept where
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: God has you and the things that He is doing
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: in your life, you know, you can just begin to
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: rest rest in Him. And yet, you know what I'm saying,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: just it's a whole other level of trust. So I
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: don't even know how we got in this realm.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: But I know.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: But I think it also kind of correlates with where
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: we're going because we have to have a certain mindset
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: for where God is wanting to take us, y'all. If
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: y'all see me, look on this side, I'm on TikTok
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Live actually recording this, and so if you're not following
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: me on TikTok, shame on you.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: The just Smith shameless plug.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, So, but my Tiko family is here too, and
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: so if they have questions, normally they'll say something so
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: they get a little VIP action right now. But I
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: think it's on target because I really feel like in
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: this season that God is shifting mindsets. Yeah, and the
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: way he's going about.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: It is unique.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: So I'm opposed this question to you woman, to God
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: since we're on the marry thing, because i know all
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: women at least at some point in time have fantasized.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: About about their wedding day.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Yep, so all women or that's just normal you say
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: what you're saying, like all women like this, Well some
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: women don't.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Some people don't.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Like Kirsten she shared with me, like girl, I'm not
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: even thinking about that right now, but she is with
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: gen Z gen X. Sheen out of something. She's not
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: a mon lineal like me.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: So so question that I've been asking myself lately, if
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: you know, if I do get have a wed or whatever.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I'm still still trying to figure that out. But like
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: the whole reception idea, do you plan on having alcohol?
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: It's your reception mm hm, I don't know. I'm kind
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: of like, uh, thank you.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm probably one of the few that have
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: not really thought about a dream wedding, like I still
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: go back and forth about it.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: In my mind.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I will be fine with a little honest like
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: an elopement or either like a maybe like a destination situation.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: So I hadn't really gotten destination.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: You know, it's gonna be alcohol on deck depending on what.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I hadn't I hadn't even gotten past the idea of
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: having something to get into the details of a thing yet,
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, it's it's still like I
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: hadn't settled on really anything because honestly, if I'm honest,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: like it's only been probably within the last maybe five
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: to six, six to seven years maybe and I've even
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: had a desire to be married even thought about like
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: that's actually something that I think I wanted, that something
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: that I think I want to do. At first, like
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I don't even think I want to do this. And
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: then as the years progress and as i've you know,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: God has been healing me through some things. Now now
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I know it is it is actual desire, you know
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. To know that I am a wife
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: and I want to be a mother, and you know,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: and all the.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Things were you scared. I ain't like what I saw.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, like you know, to me, there was there representation matters,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And to I didn't.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Really have any immediate.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Representations of what I envisioned marriage to be like even
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: though I knew some married people, I knew some people
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: who dwelled in the same home. And that's and that's
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: real because everybody that's married is not happily married. And
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: I think, I think I started out like, oh my gosh,
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: I want to be married so bad. And there is
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: a fear that has attached itself to me because, like
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: you said, my parents, you know, aren't together the divorce.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: They've been married multiple times, and I've seen on each
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: occasion what both of them went through have gone through,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And sometimes, like even relationships
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: or situationships that I've been in, I feel like has
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: discouraged me from even thinking that I would be a
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: wife one day, like in actuality and like reality, Like
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: it's not just a dream.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: And that's the point that I want to get to.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I want to get from it being a dream or
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: a thought or wishful thinking, you know what I'm saying,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: to an actual an actual thing, you know what I'm saying,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: like it being evident in my life. And so I'm like, okay,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm doing all his planning, I'm doing all
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: this thing but there's still doubt there, so I can't.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: I'm not and you know what's interesting, like in this season,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I'm not necessarily doubtful.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I'm not hopeful either though.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: You know, this week I love in the Holy Spirit
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: when I kind of get confirmation of what He's doing.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: So this week I've been really focusing.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: On, like meditating on the word.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: And so there's one particular minister that I listen to
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: when it comes to like prayer, you know, alters like
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: the mindset and things. And this week every message that
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I that I came across of his was about the mind.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: And uh, the one thing that I keep thinking about
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: that I got from that Easy talked about you know
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: the scripture about bringing every thought captive, right, and what
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: happens is that the thoughts begin to build strongholds in
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: the mind. And so he said, thoughts will try to
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: become captain when they need to be caught and be captive.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Say that again, that is so good thoughts are trying
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: to become good or bad thoughts want to become captains. So,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: you know, captains are the ones that run the shift, right,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: they make they make, they make the orders, they make
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: the directions, they tell the boat to go left for
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: the go right, or turn this way x Y and Z. Well,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: in reality, the thoughts that are not good you know
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: this in the scripture somewhere about think on these things.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: So if these the thoughts don't a line up with
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: what that scripture says, then those are the thoughts that
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: need to be brought into captivity and locked down.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: That is so good.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: So what happens is as we do life. You know
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying is life happens. You know, thoughts will
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: come up. The enemy will try to plant seeds because
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: that's all he can do is suggest things right. And
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: so if we allow those seeds to take root, now
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: we're beginning to build our belief system on these lies.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: So a lot of times, so if you think about,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: you know, not being good enough to be married or
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: wife x Y and Z, it's because there's some kind
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: of thought that had been planted there that was not captive,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: and now it has built a stronghold which is now
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: becoming a belief. I think that's so good and it's
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: also a perfect I think it does coincide. And what
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I said I wanted to talk about today.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Come on in the world, I think it does.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Because all right, So you guys may have heard me
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: say multiple times that this year. Last year, there were
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: two things I gave up, and one of the things
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: was alcohol, And I was like, you know, I go
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: through that this year and say, I'm dry this year.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I'm dry this year.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I'm dry this year, and my friends remind me that
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: I'm drying more than I remind me that I'm dry.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: I'm reminded that I'm dry and unique circumstances. And what
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I mean by unique is that when I feel like
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I'm very anxious, when I feel like I don't want
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: to feel any more or think anymore, I'm trying to cry,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I feel I feel like I don't I need something
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: to drink. Yeah, I never I've never considered myself an alcoholic. Well,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I think it got to a point where it got bad,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: bad enough to me like, hold up, let me take
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: a break from this. I literally, senior year of college,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: I fasted from drinking alcohol. That was for about the
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: forty days so lent season. Right, And so when I
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: did that, you know, not only did I do alcohol,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: but I stopped smoking because I wasn't just smoking weed.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: I was smoking black and mouths like down, like I
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: was busting them things.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Down, freak give me one.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I need to freak it, like that's all you would
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: seeing me do, freaking black and mouth. But and wine
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: wood too was my prefence. Like I'm telling you, I like,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: like I was.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: It was bad.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: It gotten bad, and so I knew it gotten bad
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: when I when I gave it up and I felt
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: the Lord lead to me. They're not knowing that was
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: the Lord. Fast forward ten years removed from graduating from college,
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: I'm on the same journey, but more intense. Wow, Like yeah,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I'm this is a right now revelation that I'm having
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: even this moment, and with me doing that, with me
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: doing that, then it gave me courage to do it now.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: And so I felt like I felt like, you know,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I was doing this for God. And I was like,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: you know what, God, I want to be I want
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: to have clarity. I want to you know, have a
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: different mindset, and I just want to know I can
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: control this thing, like it's not going to defeat me.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: And so even just last night, this just last night,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: I had a moment, I had a strong moment of
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: where I was like, God, I don't want to feel this. Yeah,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to feel this. I don't
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: want to feel it. And I really want a gummy.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: I can go to the gas station, go get me
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: a gun, a CBD right now. God, I really want
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I really want to drink. I really want at least
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: a shot or something. I want to smell the alcohol
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: like I want to do. You know what I'm saying.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say feeling, but that's probably the
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: only way I can come for I desperately wanted because
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I did not want to feel what I was feeling.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: But you know, the crazy thing is, the interesting thing
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: is that's what I mind. Thank you getting better. That's
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: what our mind says, the flesh is saying. But the
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: reality is it's only for a moment, you know what
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like when that soberness, when the soberness comes back,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: like the issue, when the pain is still there.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I know where you're going.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: I think it's just beautiful the journey that God is
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: leading you on and how he's healing you at the
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: same time, like healing you through like being able to
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: come into situations that may be hot hot anxiety, is
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, but now you're having to
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: make these decisions soberly and that and that is exactly
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: what God has brought me to, Like, that's what's his
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: respond to response to me. And every month that I've
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: gone through this year, and every time I've had that feeling,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: because one thing about it supposed to be like, oh,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: you have this regular obedience and you you're doing this,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: You're doing that. It is not easy, but I know
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: it's worth it because I know, and I'm gonna read
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: y'all a couple of scriptures that came up.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Came up because one of.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: The things that I was saying about, you know, looking
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: at people like Greg Grig doesn't drink anymore. He doesn't drink,
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: he hasn't for a long time. He don't even eat
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: pork and beef like he's so streating on his diet.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: But it's for personal reasons, right, And so he'll tell
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: me stories about how he, you know, how not drinking
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: gives him an opportunity to talk about Christ. And I've
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: that story has stayed in the back of my head,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: but it can ain't back up. Last well, last night
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: and I was just thinking about Greg shout out to
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: me dogs. I was thinking about Greg and thinking about
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: his his relationship with alcohol and how.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: He has become in control of it.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: And I swore up and down like I really had
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: control over myself because I don't, like I said, I
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: don't consider myself an alcoholic.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: However, being an alcoholic.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: And is the extreme. But using alcohol as advice is borderline, borderline,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: like you're walking a thin line. You know. The word
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: talks about being luke warm and.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Being luke warm. He said, I spit you out.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Make a decision, right, Are you gonna use me or
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: are you gonna come to me? Or you gonna go
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: to alcohol. I was just wanna say, it's it's idolatry.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: That is so good. So now I've made alcohol idol
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: because I'm going to alcohol and not going to God.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: And so beyond the being the sober minded, I'm not
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: choosing God in my my ooh, this is so good.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not choosing God in my desperate moments. I'm not
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: choosing God in the moments where he says it's a scripture,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: thank you Holy Spirit. It's in Psalms, and it says
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: I'm near to the broken hearted. So you're allowing alcohol
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: to be closer to you than God. As I'm being,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: as I am broken hearted, as I'm going through this
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: mental anguish, I am leaning on the spirit of alcohol,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: because that's why it's called wine and spirits, right, but
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: you I'm leaning on that spirit and not the spirit
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: of the living God.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: And I think that revelation.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't have come if I have not been sober. And
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: there was a lot of it's a lot of the
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: thing about making decisions. I was avoiding the repercussions of
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: the emotions of the decision that I made because some
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: of these decisions I've made have been very unfavorable. And
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: so now I can lean on alcohol to make me
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: feel better versus using God's way of escape.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: So I don't think I don't believe.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not acting as you know me believing that God
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: has a way of escape from me in that moment
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: because I can feel everything right, which I gotta read
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: this scripture.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: This is a perfect point to read the scripture with
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: her paper Bible. I got, I got, you brought the word.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: I brought the word. Can you still hear me desertate
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: because I show came from the mic?
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Yes, all right? So this is all right. Let me
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: let me put the mic base so y'all can hear me.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: So I'm in First Peter, the fifth chapter A through
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: the ninth first and I normally do this with my
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: TikTok family. They get a lot of word now that
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I had a word in front of me, So thanks
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: shout out to them for stretching me. And I'm in
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: the Christian Standard Bible. It says, be sober minded, be
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: alert your adversary. The devil is prowling around like a
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour. Verse nine,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Resist him, firm in the faith, knowing that the same
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: kind of sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: throughout the world.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: So two things there.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: The first thing is the first two statements is be
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: sober minded, be alert. And so when I'm not sober minded,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I can't be alert. I can't alert means I'm aware.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: I mean I can use the spirit of discernment. I
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: can use utilize the spirit of of awareness.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Like just being aware.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Being aware allows me to react or respond in a
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: healthy manner. I get a choice to do that. But
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: if I have something else controlling me, then I don't
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: get to do that.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Yo. What just came up as you were reading the
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: scripture was.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: We are talking at this moment, we're talking about alcohol. Yeah,
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: but being sober minded goes beyond that, it does. I
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: thought about. What came up was like anger. That's so good,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like allowing the spirit of
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: anger to overtake you. But where you're not even thinking,
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: like you're not thinking clear, Like think about people say
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: I blacked out or you know, I'm just so mad,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I just can't blah blah blah blah blah. Well that's
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: not sober minded either, because in that moment you're not
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: able to make a discerning decision. So it's not even
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: about drinking alcohol. It's it's it's it's whatever is at
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: the moment taking over your mind from being able to
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: make a consciousion decision.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: That's that's so good that And I'm glad you said
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: that because even just like the idols, you said, we
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: made anger idol anything anything can I say, anything could
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: be idle. People been throwing that line around just to
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: you know, defend as a defense mechanism versus actually understanding
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: that that's what it is, you know what I'm saying.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: And we got to get to the root of Okay,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: whatever whatever God has placed in front of me and
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: say hey, rid of it, it's a reason for it.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: So it's a reason for God encouraging me to go
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: dry this year because I was avoiding every point of
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: healing that I need to experience, because I was always
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: running to feeling better.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: I couldn't get past my feeling. But that's why I
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: love this part.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: On verse nine, it says, resist him him being the
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: devil in the firm in the faith, knowing that the
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: same kind of sufferings are being experienced by your fellow
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: believers throughout the world. And the reason why I like
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: that is because the truth about it is, the Enemy's
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: gonna lie to you and say you're the only one
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: that's dealing with this. You're the only one that is
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: experiencing this. You're the only one that's going through this.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: You're the only one that has this problem. You'll never
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: get rid of it, never deal with you'll never mount
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: another nothing. Like we said earlier, it'll never be a wife,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: you'll never be a husband, all these down the lines.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: But this says if you're sober minded, then you're sober
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: enough to know that you're not in this by yourself.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: That's so good that I was just saying.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I was just thinking, as we talked about earlier, about
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: those suggestions, like the enemy is planning the suggestions in
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: the mind that you are the only one that's going
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: through something by yourself. But what we have to do
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: is once again take those thoughts captive, take them captive,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: and then we tell the enemy no, the script But
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: the scripture says what the scriptures what the scripture just said, Yes,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: just said resist him firm in faith, knowing that the
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: same kind of sufferings are being experienced by your fellow
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: believers throughout the world.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: So I'm not in this. I'm not in this by myself.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: This is a worldly matter.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Listen, this is this is an international situation, and you're
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: making it so local. Paula's on his said this, this
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: is what my birds saying. I'm reading verb baby. He says,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: these sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: the world. And so he's saying, don't be so caught
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: up in your drunkenness. For me, this is just beause
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but if it's like, don't
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: be so caught up your drunkness, don't be so caught
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: up in your anger, don't be so caught up in
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: whatever you feeling or whatever you lay. Come on, somebody,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: be so caught up in whatever it is that you
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: believe that you're doing it, going through it by yourself.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: That's that's a very selfish mindset.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: And so that means to me also that the enemy
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: is not it's not doing anything different, and I'm not
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: special enough for him not to you know what I'm saying.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: He might do a little bit more intensively than me
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: because I done broke through. But I gotta build myself
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: up so I can be there for my fellow believer,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And it self is to
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: me to think that I'm the only one that will
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: that has suffered. Yeah, And so for me to drown
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: in sorrow, or for me to drown in my suffering
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: and not allow God to utilize that. I love Coach
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: d saying where she's my pain, gotta pay me. I
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: love it when she says that you used to like
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: what you're talking about? Woman, What are you talking about?
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: Ma'am.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: But at this point in my life, I get it.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: My pain gotta pay me. I'm not suffering just to suffer.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I'm suffering. I'm suffering because I know through the valley
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: is where I get to the mountain. Through the valley
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: is where I release doubt, and where I release frustrations
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: and where I release pains. I have to go through
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: the valley. And this is my valley season. And the
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: thing about the valid seasons, desiree yes is is that
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: it stressed us of the things that were not unnecessary
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: before we went through.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: It was never necessary.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: You didn't pull it out your Oh my god, I
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: ain't got my paper bible, but I got the word
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: right now, I'm on with the words. So these are
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: and and and this is one of my favorite scriptures
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: that I have to keep going back to. It's James
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: one and uh two James one, verse two, And this
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: is in the NLT. It says, dear brothers and sisters,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: your faith is tested, come on. Your endurance has a
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: chance to grow. Come on, so let it grow. For
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: when your endurance is so let it grow. For when
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete,
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: needing nothing. That is so, it's an opportunity. It's a
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: It is an opportunity, and that's all God is trying
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: to provide us. It's opportunities to do things differently. It's
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: it's opportunities to do things different what I have ever thought? Like,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: y'all know, Apostle how my spiritual father we argue. I
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: didn't argue with him, but he challenges me on a
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: lot of things in my life.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Shout at the apostle house, shout up to father. How.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: One of the things he challenged me before I acknowledge
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: him as my spiritual father was the fact that I
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: did drink. He was like, well, why do you drink?
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: And I was like, because I want to, Because I
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: want to?
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Why not? What's wrong with drinking?
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: But the Jesus old baby, and I used to tell
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: this up Jesus, Jesus turned water to wine.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: What's up?
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: He said, don't get drunk. I can drink, but don't
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: get drunk. But this is the thing about why I
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: feel like God has even taken me through this season.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: So he was just like you know, if you're in
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: if you're in a culture of where they say, hey,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: you can have a glass of wine, and it would
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: be disrespectful. He said, I can understand that, but you're
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: just drinking for the heck of it. I don't understand it.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: So it's a reason why you drink. And Father, I
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: find a reason.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: About fave ular later.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: But I found my reason, and so I appreciate him
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: challenging me because in that I love that you brought
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: even even faith right. We don't utilize faith when we're
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: not women not sober. Right, we don't utilize our faith
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: when we're not sober. We can call the name of Jesus.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: Everybody can call it, says Bible. Anybody can call the
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: name of Jesus. That don't mean that they have a
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: relationship with him.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: They don't. They don't mean that they've received him as
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: his Lord of savior.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I love this, this scripture from First dess Alonians. And yes,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: y'all get a lot of Bible today because I gotta
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: back this up because a lot of us think it's
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: okay for certain things, and it's not just being drunk.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: But I love that desert Rate brought the.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Fact fact that anything could be be made an idol
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: that we put in the place of where God is
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: trying to be, and we try to we try to
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: justify it, just just be. We just justify with the word.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: With the word, we justify it to fit our narrative
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: and make it okay. You know what I'm saying. But
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: the truth is, you know, if you're really if you're
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: really I'm say, sold out, or if you really really
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: want to walk this this journey out and righteousness and holiness,
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Like come on, is it really okay? Like yes, it
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: could be good, but is it is it good for you?
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Did you get permission from God?
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Listen? Like that's where I am with it.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Like it might be okay for the world to do it,
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: It might even be okay for other fellow Christians to
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: do it, but is it okay for me to do it?
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Is it okay for me to do it? That's the question.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Because I'm doing relationship. I'm sorry, just me, I mean
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: into it, bro, I'm like, you gonna stayd me down.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: I was like this and did not y'all you know
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: she'd want me. I'll be trying. I'll be trying to
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: That's why y'all got to pray for us so we can.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: We need a we need an assistant, and we need
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: another tick. I'll be trying to honor the woman of
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: God's wishes. She want me on the camera, So here
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: I am. I brought the third camera today. See, I
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: brought the third camera and I'm talking apostle. How I
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: got the I see, I'm trying. But you know, like
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: you're doing a good job. You're doing a good job.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: I put a lot of weight on you. You know,
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: you know, and you can't it. Well. This is the
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: fun part of it, because when we get other folks,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: they probably be so serious, they'll probably be too serious.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: But what I love about it is is that to
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: be so reminded allows me to be faithful.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: That's good. Ooh.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: To be sober minded allows me to be faithful. A
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: lot of these, you know, I'm just a college space sad,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: A lot of these.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: One night stands, a lot of.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: You know, opportunities, especially with me being a believer, you know,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: some of the opportunities I got drunk on intentionally because
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I knew I didn't want to make I didn't want
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: to have to say no. And my sober minded so
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: I could blame it on me being drunk. If if
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: I'm a college Spade spade, if I'm a college Space
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: of Spade, I got drun on purpose because I really wanted,
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: and I could blame the alcohol.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: Listen, I'm just telling it. I'm just telling the truth.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: I can't believe I said that, but I'm just I'm
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: just telling the truth.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: And so now I don't feel like, you know, have
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: I still made the mistakes sober and stuff like that,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: I've I've made plenty of mistakes ober, but I couldn't
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: address I couldn't. God couldn't address me in those moments
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: where I wasn't being sober because I was always running
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: to alcohol. And hear what we're not saying. We're not
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: saying that we're perfect. We're not saying that you have
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: to be perfect at this. But God looks at the
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: heart heries. So if you have made a decision, a
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: vow of coven it in your heart to do it
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: God's way, then that's what he's looking at. Like he's
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: not looking at, oh did you do it? Did you?
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Did you do this?
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Perfect? Every single time because he know we're gonna mess on.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: That's what we got, that's why. But he's ridding the thing.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: That has allowed him access to fix it. Oh my god,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that again. He's ridding the thing that
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: is blocking him access to fix it. And when we are,
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: when we have allowed something else to to to pretend
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: to be God, then we have become a detriment to ourselves.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: And I'm using alcohol as an example, y'all.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Like I said, I'm not I don't consider myself alcohol alcoholic,
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: but you know there's an honor for alcohol.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: I had a whole shelf, a whole drawer in my kitchen.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: The guy like literally had me rearrange my kitchen, and
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, that's that's for my when
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: I get my alcohol back.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: That's why.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: That's when I get my alcohol back. He said, go,
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: you don't put them pots and pants in there. You
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: ain't got no room. You know, it's crazy. Just I
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: ain't gonna let you be out there by yourself. So
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna let on the island by yourself. Like,
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: if I'm honest, as I begin to say yes to God,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I honestly I don't even know the full of what
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: the yes He is right. But as I just begin
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: to walk with God, like the Holy Spirit had literally
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: been taking taste from my mouth.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Matter of fact, one of my friends, one of my
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: friends lives, uh, she's from California.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: So when she would go home, I would put my order.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: In for California things that you can only that's not
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: that good, that's not that it's good. So I would
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: put my order in from my for my treats and
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: my teas, and she would mail them back to me. Okay,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: and I and I'll never forget it. She had went
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: home one Christmas and I got my order, you know
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And kid you, not months later it
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: was like no desire for it. And I was like,
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: but I just got it the whole end spirit, like
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: for real life. I mean, I tell you, it wasn't
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: It wasn't even anything that I specifically prayed about, so
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: to say, it was just he knew and he literally
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: took the taste out of mouth, even if it comes
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: to like alcohol. Like I was a brown girl. So
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: I loved me like some some crown crown, some regular crown.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Hen you know what I'm saying. That was my that
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: was my thing, Like I would keep a bottle in
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: the freezer because I come home, you know, from from
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: doing hairs. I would, you know, pop the bottle back
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: real quick. It wasn't like a let me get drunkinting,
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: but it was just let me get that hit kind
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: of thing. I don't like the taste for that is
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: gone now. Not the only thing I will the only
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: thing I drink right now. And that's not even all
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: of this, maybe like a a couple a couple of
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: times a month kind of thing.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: It's wine. It's wine. Yeah, that's literally it.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: And and like I said, and in what I'm thinking about,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: I heard my pastor she said one time about why
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: we should eat right and why we should uh.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: The things that we put in our body.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: And it's not because like she was talking in the
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: in the sense of like healing, like people like, oh,
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: let me put this down so you know, because I
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: can hear, so I can get the healing.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: The heeling is already yours.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: But she was like, you do the right things to
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: the body so that the assignment doesn't outlive the temple.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: You want to you want you want to do the
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: good things to the body. You want to eat right,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: you want to take care of the body and the
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: temple because it is a house of the Holy Spirit.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: You don't want to go into the ground and the
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: assignment is still it's still alive. So when you go,
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: when you die, like you need to die, the goal
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: is to die empty. So that's why it's so important
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: that we make these sober decisions because it can't affect us,
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: and it affects us, but it also affects those around
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: us if we're not able to do the thing that
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: we're called to do.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: In this earth. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: That's when I tell you that's so good, that's that's good.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: And we don't think about it. We always think about
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: the right now, the pleasantries of the present, and we
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: gotta and like she said, I'm not coming to you
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: like I'm perfect or whatever. I'm just having this revelation.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: And it's because and I say this all the time,
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: especially when on TikTok life, is that God has loved
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: me into a place and he's loved me out of
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: a place. So simultaneously as he's loving me into who
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I'm becoming, he's loving me out of who I used
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: to be. And that's the reason why I can give
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: God the opportunity to see me in those moments where
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling and I'm just so grateful. I'm so grateful
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: that God, I don't feel judged because I've allowed God
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: to love me beyond the capacity that I thought that
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: he had for me. You know, like I really discredited
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: God being being able to love somebody like me. And
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: that's why I'm like, bro, like, I don't come. I'm
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: not saying this from a judgmental place. I'm so glad
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: you said that. I'm not saying it from a space
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: and I'm sorry I'm crying, y'all, but just having the
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: realization that God, God is not doing this and watching
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: me go through this, but he's he's in the valley
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: with me.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: He's in these this dry place with me.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: He's in these moments where I say, you know what, Lord,
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: I didn't call desert rate, I didn't call anybody when
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: I was saying, you know, Lord, please give me.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: I'm drinking.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: I really want to drink, because that's, you know, I've
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: gained this level of self control because I've decided to
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: do that.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: And that's let me let me read this real quick,
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: because it's.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Important for a first Thessalonians five, Starting at verse six,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: it says, so then let us not sleep like the rest,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: but let us stay awake and be be self controlled.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: For those who who sleep sleep at night and those
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: who get get drunk at night. But since we belong
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: to the day, let us be self controlled and put
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: on the armor armor of faith and love and the
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: helmet of the hope of salvation. And so basically this
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: is saying, this is telling me, Hadjusica, when you were
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: in those drunken places, you couldn't see anything.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: What does night show you? Nothing? Nothing? It's dark, it's dark.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: You are entering these, these these drunken spaces, these night
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: places with it. Oh this is so good. I hear
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: the Lord say. Right even now, he says, that cuts
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: off your vision? How do you see at night if
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: you're not being light? So if I'm casting down darkness,
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: I can't cast down darkness with darkness. I gotta be
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: of sober mind because it requires self control. And self
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: control allows me to properly put on my armor. And
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: my armor allows me to protection that when I go
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: through the shop, when I go through the darkness, it
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: come on somebody like you see a shining through the darkness.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: You're gonna be like, hold up, hold hold up my armor,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: ain't dull, you know what I'm saying, Like it's got
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: to be clean, right, and so like I really want
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: us to understand like this, like she said earlier, this
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: is not a place of judgment. This is not a
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: place of you know where I'm coming to you. I'm
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: just sharing my testimony if I can be honest. Like,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: I don't even know why God wanted me shure this today.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: We started with marriage, right, I really couldn't I find
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: a husband, and I'm drunk, laid out, I'm making drunk
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: decisions and I'm not making so decisions. I'm going by
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: another spirit's feelings about something, you know what I'm saying.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: And then this season, my I've gained control.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Of my mind to the point where I'm like, Okay, God,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: you got me doing this for a reason. You're trying
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: to give me the process, emotions. You're trying to show
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: me that I'm stronger than this. You're trying to show
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: me out of everything that you want me to come
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: to you about me my feelings and not the thing, not.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: The thing that I've made. And so.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: This this year has been different, y'all. Now, I'm not
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this on camera. I'm not saying that
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: the Lord is not gonna allow me to drink. I
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: think one day I enjoy some wine. One of my
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: one of my dreams personally, I want a winery. I
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: think one day I'll have some you know, winery or
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: whatever that's part of the legacy or whatever. But and
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: that's I love one. I love, you know, enjoying like
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: jazz music. Jazz music my mama put me on a
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: long time ago. I love my mama for that. Like,
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: I just like that culture of candles and just relaxation.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: But the confinements of a safe space. I learned that
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: Now if I'm with my friends, we're out or whatever
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: and I'm not driving, yell cool beans, Margarita, hell margarite,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: he blah blah blah. But that's still a safe space
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: for me. But how I used to do it, man,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: I didn't care who I was with. I'm a drink
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: because I want to drink. You know, it just came up.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: Just what But I went to Kendall's party. Yeah, I
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: went to Kendall's party. Kendall Jessica's sister. It was at thirty.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: She turned thirty this year. And I am an introvert.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I don't realize that or not,
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: but I do what I do okay with people that
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: I know, small intimate groups. But when there's when I
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: know that I'm going into a setting like this. This
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: was at like a kind of like a lounge club.
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: Kind of thing.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I knew the only people I was going
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: to know there was like Jessica and her sister and like,
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: you know, some of their family. And so typically I
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: would have to take me down a couple of little
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: shots just to kind of like loosen up a little
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: bit because I'm always.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: In my head.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I'm always thinking, you know, very analytical. So I would
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: typically have taken a couple of shots, you know, just
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: to kind of like loosen up. So I ain't like no,
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: so people don't think I'm like some stiff or something
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: like that. But I didn't. And I had the most
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: amazing time. Like I was dancing, like talking to people,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: and I.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Was like, well, this is cool, and I am in
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: my sober mind. Yeah you were sober. I wasn't. But
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: is this year.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: Last year, her birthday was her birthday was October last year.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: Last year.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well I went on this journey. Oh yeah, I
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: was drunk. I was drunk, like I'm not even gonna
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: lie to you. I turned all the way up intentionally,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I am My sister says she's
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: gonna be lit. I'm gonna be lit too, like and
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: not because that she was, you know, that was my
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: consideration of, yeah, I gotta have fun blah blah blah.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: And because if.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: I'm honest, Oh, if I'm honest, the people that she
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: brought or invited, they view me and I'm about to
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: get I feel it. They view me so much of
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: like being uptight or like, oh she only she can't
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: have no fun or whatever, and I have.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: I've had.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: I'm still working on that part of me, like because
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: these are people that we went to high school with,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: some of these people, and it's probably subconsciously saying that,
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: oh I got to prove myself like I'm still like
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: I'm cool or whatever, but I do like to drink.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: But I think they both messed that.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: Night or where I had to prove my my coolness
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: or that you know, I was cute or I had
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: body YadA, YadA. You know what I'm saying, Like I felt. Again,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: I think it's just about the motive, the heart of writing.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: So if you just went like, oh, you know, I
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: just want to have a drink, you know, to help
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: celebrate my sister, okay, cool. But I think it's the
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: motive behind the why and if we really dig into that.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Because I didn't not, I'm able to have a sober
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: mind and reflect on it now. But then no, so
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: even in those environments to where I am, I have
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: to be mindful because it's like, these people still look
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: at you like, oh we know, Jessica. We can't say
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: this around Justic because just be praying like they don't
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: know I hear stuff like that, but I do.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: And it's like, but I want to have fun. But
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: in that moment, what does God.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Need me to be? Does he need to be me
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: to be sober? Or he needed me to be drunk
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: trying to fit in because I can't. I can't speak
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: to folk's heart if I'm drunk too. Now, I've done
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: that before, and I was I was out of line
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: and that I damaged some people.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: I mean I damaged some people.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: It wasn't because I didn't even believe I had to
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: give for like prophetic the prophetic gift, and I damaged
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: some people, like to the point where this girl like
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: I wanted to kill me for the release.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: I gave her the accurate release I gat like she was.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: She come in a text her she wanted to kill me.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: It was bad, wow, And I was luckily enough. I
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: had the sound mind. The next morning, the worst hangover ever.
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: And I think that's when I started slowing down drinking
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: because I told my call.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: Up and everything. Oh, it was bad. It was bad.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: I have to tell you this story later, but it
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: was bad.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: And I started calling people immediately, just starting to apologize.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: I was like, I don't even know what I said,
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: but I remember, I remember her face, I remember his face,
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: I remember the I think it was two or three
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: people that I would I had like released, but the
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: spirit wasn't right.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: So I was wrong.
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: I didn't control. I didn't have self control in that moment.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't have the sermon in that moment.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: She wasn't. It was accurate, but it was wrong.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: And so so that your that that spirit, that anger
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: everything would make you operate outside of the will of God.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: So this has been good. Yeah, this this I didn't
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: know it was gonna go that deep. And I appreciate
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: you for having this conversation with me because I think
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: I needed to release it. I probably need to release
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: that because it's this, going through this journey, I ain't
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: gonna lie. It has been frustrated because I've wanted those
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: moments where I wanted to drink and stuff.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: God is intentional.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: He's very intentional, Like he knew what the what the
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: was going to look like, y'ad, and he was like, no,
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: I need to because you know, if you think about
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: you know, if he has a plan for you to
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: prosper you, not to harm you, like it feel like death,
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: like we feel like flesh. It feels like death to
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: our flesh, right, But it's for our good, Like he's
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: working something out of us and working something in us,
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: which is faith, patience, perseverance, it's all the fruits of
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: the spirit. And if we don't encounter these things and
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: we don't allow ourselves because it's still a choice at
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, he can present it and
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: we can still continue to go left if we want to.
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: But he's presenting us with the things that he know
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: is going to help us to get to where it
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: is the expected end that He has for us.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, most definitely I agree on that. I agree on that.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: So y'all let us know in the comments, like what
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: do y'all what are your thoughts on it has God
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: even in this moment revelation, especially what Desira said, like
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: is he showing you an idol that you need to
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: rid of as He's showing you something that you need
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: to get rid of that's blocking you from the progression
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: to your purpose.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: Because I can underly say.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: Like she said, this year has definitely been a year
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: He's asked me to rid of a lot of things,
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: from jobs, to relationships to opportunity. Like literally the answer
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: has been no, And I've freely given that to him
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: because I don't get the question.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: There's no question mark.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: I become confident in my faith and so I encourage
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: you to even ask God to show you what needs
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: to just like for you to rid of so that
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: you can embody him fully. I'm still in the process
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: of that, and so I'm proud of you.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: We are.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: It's a process, and in the process it just looks
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: different for everybody, for everybody, just because we all have
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: different callings, different purposes, different giftings, but it's so beautiful.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: I've been really in some self reflect in these last
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: few months real the year, because this whole, the last
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: year and this year has literally been this processing kind
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: of thing. And I'm like, dang lord, this is uncomfortable,
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: Like I tell them all, like I don't like this. Yeah,
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, I can look
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: back from this time last year to where I was
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: and know that my thinking is so much different, even
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: the peace that I have now and and and and
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: to be honest, a lot of the situations are still
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: kind of where they are, but my perspective and how
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: I am in the situation has definitely shifted and changed.
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: There's so much more peace, joy. People be like, that's
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: what you got going on? I'm and I won't be
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: like good nothing. But the reality is is a lot
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: going on, and it's and it's I and I just
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: can't wait to see just at the end of the year.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear about where y'all are at
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: the end of the year because of conscious decisions that
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: you've made to allow God to come into your heart
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: and and and take those things that aren't good.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: For us away. That's so good. I think that's a
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: that was your final thing. Yep, that was it.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: That's so good.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: Man. This has been a healthy conversation. And I would
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: encourage you to send this to somebody that you know.
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: Don't send it grudgingly. Yeah, be led by the spirit
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: on it, because if you send it grudgingly, God gonna
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: deal with you. Don't be sending and not especially using
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: my voice to send it grudgingly. But if someone you know,
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: you just had a conversation with somebody, or you want
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: them to make sure they don't feel like they're a
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: lone in this or going through this process by themselves,
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: please send this to them. And whoever got sent this,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: just know that God loves you at the end of
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: the day, just like with me. God loved me into
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: this place so he could love me out of a place.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: And so.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: Just trust God with your process and if it can
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: happen for me, it can happen for you. And so
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: I love you guys. Until next time, Remember life could
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: be much more simple if.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: You just ask thank you for tuning in to this
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: week's episode.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: connect with us on all social media platforms at Deep
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: Jessica S. Smith. I know I won't see you back
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: until next week, but until then, remember to love always
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: yourself and always thank thank God.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: For one another day.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: Hey.
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: Hey, I know we could be another way. Hey, pray
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: thank God for another day. Hey hey, I'm just thankful
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: for another day. Hey Hey, another day? Oh, another day wise,
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: another day to get it right, another day to rise up,
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: another day living, another day. We loved ones. I always
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: remember hold it down for a ball one.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: Yuh