Latest / In The Driver's Seat / Live Like Dolly: What Her Life Teaches Us About Loving Better
Transcript
- Lisa French: In twenty twenty three, Dolly Parton sat down with Nora O'Donnell on CBS for person to person and said it so simply, we're supposed to love ourselves and love one another. Yesterday, Tuesday, august twenty fifth, twenty twenty six, the world lost Dolly. And what struck me wasn't just the music, although I love the music. I can still picture myself as a young girl playing Jolene on a 45 record and using the handle of our vacuum cleaner as a microphone. What struck me was how much everyone loved her. In a world that feels so divided, how did one person make so many people from different walks of life not only feel drawn to her, but also feel safe. and seeing. That's what I want to talk about today. Not just to honor Dolly, but to learn from her. How do we live and love more like that, grounded in spirit, intentional with our choices, and compassionate towards our neighbors? I'm Lisa French and this is in the driver's seat. This is where we talk about living a life full of purpose and passion, mindset, manifestation, and what it looks like to live spiritually and intentionally, not just talk about it. I'm wearing my dolly shirt today and it says find out who you are and do it on purpose. I love that dolly quote and it's the conversation I want to hold today. I'm going to share a few stories from her life. Some you may know, some you may not. Each one teaches us something about boundaries, compassion, and grace. And as you listen, I want you to notice where one of them tugs at your own heart. Where this week could you offer a little more compassion to a stranger, a neighbor, or yourself? Let's start with a boundary that became a blessing. In 1973, Dolly wrote two songs on the same day, Jolene and I Will Always Love You. Same day, same pen. One is an ache, and one is a goodbye. She wrote, I will always love you as she was leaving Porter Wagner's show. It was her thank you and her letting go. Thank you, I love you, and I have to go do what I meant to do. A year later, Elvis wanted to record it. Imagine getting that call. It's Elvis. But Elvis' manager, Colonel Tom Parker, said if Elvis sings it, he has to receive 50% of publishing. Dolly said no. Later she said she cried all night over that decision. She wasn't making a power move. It was a decision from her heart. She knew what that song meant and she knew her worth. Ask yourself, what else is also true? She could have told herself, it's Elvis. I should be grateful and just say yes. What else is also true was that the song was part of her project. purpose and saying yes to the wrong terms would have closed a door that was meant to stay open. Because she kept her publishing rights for that song, almost 20 years later, the door was still open. And Whitney Houston recorded I Will Love You for the movie The Bodyguard in 1992. It became one of the best selling singles of all time. And the songwriter, Dolly, received millions as the writer. Here's where it gets so dolly. She didn't hold on to that abundance tightly. When Whitney's version earned her well over ten million dollars in royalties, Dolly took part of that and bought a large office complex in a black neighborhood in Nashville in the Sevier Park area. She called it the house that Whitney built. She invested it right back into her neighbors. So the arc is boundary, alignment, abundance, then keep it flowing. Intentional living isn't always saying yes to the biggest name in the room. Sometimes it's saying no and then crying all night, but trusting the process and knowing that what is meant for you will find you. And then when abundance comes, you let it move through you to others. Maybe you're in a place right now where saying no feels hard. Let Dolly's story give you permission to honor what you know is right, even when it's not easy. The second lesson is about compassion that grew from Dolly's own hard story. In 1995, Dolly started something in her home county, Severe County, Tennessee. It had nothing to do with rhinestones. She called it Imagination Library, one free high quality book mailed each month to every child from birth to age five, no matter what. Why did she start it? Well, her father, Robert Lee Parton, never learned to read or write. Dolly had said many times he was the smartest man she ever knew. She saw how it embarrassed him that he couldn't read. And she kept imagining how much more he could have done in his life had he been given the chance to be literate. She took her own hard story growing up poor with twelve siblings in a small cabin in the Smoky Mountains and turned it into service. She didn't wait until she had everything all figured out. She started in one county with children just like she had been. Today that program has gifted more than two years. 270 million books across five countries, one book a month to a child who gets to feel like someone believes that they matter. And she kept giving in other ways. In 2020, she gave a million dollars to Vanderbilt that helped fund Moderna's COVID 19 vaccine research. Same heart. Take what you have and circulate it where it's needed. So I want to pause here and ask you, where in your own life could a hard part of your life journey become service? It doesn't have to be big or perfect. Maybe it's checking in on an elderly neighbor or reading to a child. Maybe it's simply seeing someone who often goes unnoticed. Tell them thank you. Dolly started with one county, one small consistent action. Of compassion repeated with love becomes a legacy. The third lesson is about giving grace to others to let them be themselves and the confidence to be yourself. Which brings you back to that interview. In her 2023 person to person interview with Nora O'Donnell on CBS, Dolly said, We're supposed to love ourselves and love one another. She talked about growing up in church and feeling comfortable in her own skin and how being grounded in spirit let her love people as they are. She exemplified that. She also said it this way I ain't that good of a Christian to think I am so good to judge people. That's God's job, not mine. That's grace in plain words. She gave people permission to be exactly who they are. She also lived. Find out who you are and do it on purpose. When she was asked to be in her first movie, 9 to 5, she said only if she could write the theme song. Dolly was so excited about seeing the whole process of filming that she showed up on set even on the days that she didn't need to be there. Being present, soaking up everything. As she was observing, she was also working out the song, but She couldn't have a guitar on set, so she improvised by tapping the rhythm on her acrylic nails. So that typewriter sound you hear at the top of the song, that was inspired by her nails. She used what she had where she was. The same work ethic that let her write Jolene and I will always love you on the same day, she honored her gift consistently. That is intentional living. Know who you are, honor it, and use what's in your hands and in your heart. Maybe you have an idea that you've been waiting to do until it's perfect to start. This is telling you to start with what you have today. And just so we don't get too serious, only Dolly could slip into a Dolly Parton lookalike contest on Santa Monica Boulevard and lose. To a drag queen and she was dying laughing inside, telling the story later. She had entered incognito and lost the contest that was to look like her and she loved it. That tells you everything about humility. Take your purpose seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously. So how do we live and love more like Dolly? We practice. One. We set a boundary that honors who we are, even if we cry at night doing it. We trust that what is meant for us will come to us. Two, we let a hard part of our story become compassion for others. Try something this week, just one small act. Three, we give someone grace to be themselves, and we give ourselves grace to confidently be ourselves too. We are supposed to love ourselves and love one another. So where this week could you live and love more like Dolly? One but small, beautiful act towards a neighbor, a stranger, or yourself? Tell me in the comments. I read all of them. If this conversation grounded you today, subscribe and share it with someone who loved Dolly. And you can go deeper with me every Tuesday in my newsletter, Hello Possibility. The link to subscribe for free is in the show notes. Find out who you are and do it on purpose. Until next time, know you are always in the driver's seat.