Latest / Pod Therapy / #439: Parents New Band, Social Cue Blindness, Husband's Work Stress

Transcript

#439: Parents New Band, Social Cue Blindness, Husband's Work Stress · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Just the curved bottom ones, bottom ones. That's it, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: that keeps me humble.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Las Vegas notoriously walkable city. Yeah yeah, I'm glad that
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: that's the way you choose to get around. That is
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: the right waved.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine how dead he be from fabulous Las Vegas.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: No matter.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This is pod Therapy, real people, real problems, and real therapists.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: You can submit your questions anonymously at pod therapy net
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: dot net. Yeah, oh, we're live. We're live emails at
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: pod therapy guys at gmail dot com and now broadcasting
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: from the unnamed studio.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: That's Jim, that's Whitney.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I'm Nick. It's tiding for some pot the help. Oh,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: everybody out there in radio land.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: As we are recording this, we have a live zoom
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: going on and you can hear the thunderous applause of
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: all of them with their muted mics in my mouth,
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: in my mouth. So we have a live zoom going
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: on to wrap up Mental Health Awareness Month. It has
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: been a great month, lots of supports of love. We
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: did interviews deep dives with each of our hosts and
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: publish those through Patreon, and we want to thank Emma,
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: the intern who joined us during the Patreon taping of
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: today's live episode and let us meet the ponies.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Which was pretty great.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: They are literally dogs like that is the funniest thing.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: They are horses. Oh okay, so perhaps metaphorically dogs they
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: are more metaphorically yes, they're definitely not literally dogs.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: That.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: That's they are adorable.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: So as we are recording this, what we've been doing
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: all month long is we've been posting the video of
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: all of our episodes for patrons up at our YouTube
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: account as an unlisted thing, so you get that through
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: patreon dot com slash therapy. We will have a good
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: think about whether or not we want to keep that going.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: It was kind of a mental health Awareness month gimmick,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: but it's been a lot of fun.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: People really like the video.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: It's been a great new addition to what we do,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: and people seem to be having great time with it.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: And so now we're doing live video live zoom for
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: today's episode. People might be jumping in along the way
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: to say hi to us live and join the recording.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: They may offer their own answers to questions. They may
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: have some trivia or some questions of their own.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: By the way, you look nice. Do you think I
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: think you did your hair?
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I gotta I gotta blowout,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: and so Jim gussied up.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I guess he did hetty.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: There's no unlv in the court.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the season assist. Actually, yeah, let me know
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: that time I knew something was different. Yeah, yeah, I
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: would make up. I was running late.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I had hardly had any time for makeup because the
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: listeners don't know this, But I was born without nostrils,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: so these are actually painted. But yeah, yeah, Nick looks
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: like Voldemort in real life. That's uh reverse.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Ship, my bad. That's not supposed to be the Yeah.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Ever since Jacob installed the green room, it's been really
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: helpful to like get in there, do light and sound
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: makeup and so been getting a show, a.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Little bit of a little bit of nose powder before
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: the show, of course, gotta take a little ump a courage.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know how y'all have felt
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: about this. I feel like cocaine jokes on the Mental
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Health podcast. It's been weird for me.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: I put fake cocaine in my patient's pockets.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: This is not even the third I don't think a
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: day's not the day.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Since we started doing video about a month and a
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: half ago, it is stressful, Like I even though like
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I feel like I still come in you know, Pats
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: and jackets, but it's just like, oh god, like, have
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: you ever gone back.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And watched any of the videos? Yeah, I to.
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: Do.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: You don't know.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I'm the one who has the post.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I have to watch them for you don't
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: have to watch them.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Sink the well.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I don't watch the whole thing, but I sink up
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: the post. It settled out.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it is definitely a very different experience preparing
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: for the show. Whenever you're like, oh and people can
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: see me.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Now though, oh yeah, poor you guys, such a big
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: difference forming her a show people.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: Can't see you.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I got a blowout, okay, and I don't even know
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: what that is.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: You don't understand people judge men based off their left Yeah,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: she doesn't get it.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: You wouldn't get it, like she doesn't get it, you
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: know women he had put on. He didn't even notice
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: my makeup, you know, I'll bet you she wouldn't even
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: notice if I hadn't said anything, or my pedicure. You know,
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: nobody notices and I realize it's not on the video,
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: but we did notice the Brazilian. Okay, we did notice that,
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: did you Usually there's a big Harry Bush.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you can usually hang crawling out of my legs.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that that that's gone, I appreciate it. Yes,
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I've trimmed it back. So anyway, hi, everybody, if you.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Will taking care of his lawn. He's just noticing things.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we have a great show for you today, and
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: we got to be friends that are live in our
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: zoom and so live friends. If after a question you
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: would like to weigh in, use the little hand raised
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: function and no, no, no, no, don't.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Do not use the handraates. Use the chat.
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: There you go chat, put it in the chat that
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: you have an answer, and and I'll be paying attention
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: to the chat.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Or if you have trivia that you'd like to present,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: let us know ahead of time. That way Jacob can
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: kind of schedule that in.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: But we've got some great questions for today's show.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: And I don't sure.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: We can't see the chat.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: It's either monitor.
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: If you just want to text us if you have trivia,
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: I guess let me know if you have any tax
• 5:32
  Speaker 6: questions to Jacob, he will I answer those as well answer.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Any tax questions you send me. All we gotta do
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: is unmute them anyway.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: First question for today's show is musical musings. High Pod
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Therapy crew. Thank you for this wonderful podcast. You really
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: have created something special and fantastically addicting. You make Wednesdays
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: something to look forward to. Ooh, a patron, they're the
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: ones that hear those on Wednesdays. My question is this
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: My dad is in his late seven and remarried, and
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: he and his wife have recently become very passionate about
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: making music together. You think that's a euphemism.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: We'll find out making a little music R and B.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: You want to go bang the drums?
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he plays acoustic guitar, she sings, and they write
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: songs together. They've gone all in, paying for time in
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: recording studios, hiring people to help produce tracks, hiring a
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: website designer, now filming amateur music videos. I'm gonna stop
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: the letter here. This is the fucking best, and I
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: just want you to know we will support them. Okay,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: So I want you to send this shit to us.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: We are gonna endorse them. Wholeheartedly. We're gonna promote their
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: entire shit on our patriots. We're gonna get them to
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: write the jingle for the show. Okay, that's gonna They're
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: already further along than seafood Sugar, I know, Jesus, very disappointing.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: On one hand, it's wonderful that they have a shared
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: creative hobby they love. They seem energized, connected and excited
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: about life, which is precious at their age. The problem
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: is the music is really really bad. Not my taste bad,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: more like this sounds like an accidental parody bad. The
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: songs are cheesy, the singing is off key and painful
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: to listen to, and the whole thing creates intense secondhand
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: embarrassment for me. For example, their latest music video consisted
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: entirely of two young random dancers sexually writhing around the
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: rain while my dad's earnest rofy style acoustic guitar played
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: underneath and his partner sang off pitch about social awkwardness
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: and not liking crowds. The video didn't show the musicians.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I know, how dare you send us this question without
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: a link, you coward? The video didn't show the musicians
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: and it seemed to have nothing to do with the lyrics.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: I've never told them any of this because it feels
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: cruel and unnecessary. I'm not hurting anyone, but they periodically
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: ask for feedback and excitedly send me new content, and
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I freeze every time. I don't know how to respond
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: authentically without either lying, dodging, or crushing them. My go
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: to lines are you're so creative, or I love your passion,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: or keep having fun with it, but those are getting overused.
• 8:21
  Speaker 7: I also, I think you've been a good father, just
• 8:25
  Speaker 7: pivots to something. Thank you for making me lunch, How
• 8:31
  Speaker 7: do you like my music? Thanks for lunch, thank you,
• 8:33
  Speaker 7: Thank you so much. We're always talking me into bed.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I also feel weird watching them spend real money on this.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: They are both on Medicare and food stamps, and they
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: keep hiring people who seem happy to take their money
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: and encourage the dream. And I honestly can't tell whether
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: these people genuinely see artistic potential or are just cashing checks.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: So my question is what do we owe the people
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: we love when they are emotionally and financially invested in
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: something they are objectively not good at, especially when it's
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: bringing them joy and they truly hope it will lead
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: to a big break. And how do you respond gracefully
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: when someone proudly shares creative work that you find profoundly embarrassing.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: I feel like one of our loved ones wrote this
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: about the podcast. I think that this this nine years,
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: people just keep listening. Ps. I wasn't sure whether to
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: include this, so I hope you'll decide if it's relevant.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: My dad was an alcoholic most of my life and
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: made many big and hurtful mistakes with my mom and
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: with his kids. He's sober now, but never took accountability
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: for any of that. Thanks to therapy, I've let go
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: of most that resentment. I love him, but I'm not
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: super close to him. Thank you, signed, cringing in secret.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: Oh man, I like this a lot. I mean I
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: get that feeling of lif like should you give honest feedback?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: And like, okay, what is the rule on this, Jacob,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: because people come to you. Yeah, you literally work with artists, creatives.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: They need feedback about whether something is going to have
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: mass appeal. But then there's probably also times that you think, look,
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: I don't know, like you're happy with it it's art.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: It doesn't always need to get me telling you whether
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: I would give it five stars or pay for it.
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: I think I am I think I am good at
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: professionally reading the environment and seeing if my honest opinion
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: is actually being asked for. Okay, if my if it's
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: someone who comes to me and I and I understand
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: that they are asking for a real opinion.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: I have a friend right now, he's putting a show
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: together and and he has sent me all of his
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: like rehearsal dates and everything.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: He's like, I want you to come by.
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: I want notes okay, and like I know he wants
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: brutal opinion okay, and he's asking a couple of people,
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: you know whatever.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: However his process is working like he's doing that.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: I know he wants notes, Okay. Most people don't want that. Yeah,
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: most people just want to be like how was it?
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: All they're really asking is like, A did you like it?
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: And B?
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Was there anything like wrong?
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: That you just want to tell me, like could you
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: see behind the curtain when you weren't when you were sped?
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: Be able to see behind the curtain that I might
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: not know about? Right, Like that'd be cool if you
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: tell me that, Yeah, stuff.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: That wouldn't hurt their feelings. It would just be a
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: small stylistic thing like oh, by the way, that.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Like doing blackface was a bold choice. Yeah, something like that.
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: Just criticism.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Justin in the chat, Togg just bring up Israel as
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: a good deflection. So what are your thoughts on this
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Palestine thing? Whenever you see somebody. So I've had a
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: family member who got it. Was an elder family member
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: kind of going through that late life kind of looking
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: for the big break, and they weren't into artists work,
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: but they believe that they had invented something. It was
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: not interesting, it was it was just like little gizmo
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: that didn't do really anything. And this family member really
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: overhyped it and was like, this is my big break,
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: this is going to change. All it did was make
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: women happy. Who cares keep pursuing that fictional item.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: So you know this this family member is like trying to.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Get feedback on this and is But it's one of
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: those things where I was fine to be like cool
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: and just like keeping it bland. But then they got
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: to this point where they were going to invest all
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: their money, I mean tens of thousands of dollars on
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: a research corporation that like we'll look at like do
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: studies with your invention to figure in. It's like hosted
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: by Stanford, and it was clearly a scam, and like
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to tell them, like hey, that that isn't real,
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: and they're like, no, no, no, it is. You just
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: you don't believe in my product. You don't believe in
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: the thing, you don't understand like this is gonna go
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: d I also don't believe in your product. And I
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: remember being this is also not really what a pickle
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: because I'm like I I don't want like and I
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: can relate to the writer because I don't want to
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: see you lose money. You're at a fragile financial position, right,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: and yet I believe in your personal autonomy to do
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: whatever you want and pursue a bad idea. But also
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I'm worried that people are predatory and like, yeah, they're
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: gonna be like okay, great, so you want ten thousand
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: dollars studio fees, Fine, we'll do it, even though it's
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: like I mean at some point, like I've done so
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: many shows where I look at the show before you know,
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: nail one has been driven into a set piece like
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: this is not gonna work. Okay, this is not gonna
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: work at all, And yet I still get paid to
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: do my contribution. Everybody else still makes money. But I've
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: seen people throw away tens of millions of dollars.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like you're talking.
• 13:47
  Speaker 8: About yet a little really. But I mean in those
• 13:58
  Speaker 8: situations though, Jacob, these are huge investors there. They're people
• 14:02
  Speaker 8: that have the capital to play the game and then
• 14:04
  Speaker 8: they take the rest. But I mean they think that
• 14:05
  Speaker 8: they're doing something smart. Okay, they don't think that they're
• 14:08
  Speaker 8: throwing money away. So you look, I think they're throwing
• 14:10
  Speaker 8: money away. It's not your responsibility to talk them off
• 14:12
  Speaker 8: the ledge.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Not my monk exactly.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: It kind of reminds me of when people your friend
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: starts dating somebody that they should Yeah, this is very.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: Soating business venture, bad religion, topics that you just want
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: to stay away from, in your friend group, releasing an album.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: All these are the same, Boss, But yeah, I.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: Feel like it's similar to that where if your friend
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: starts dating someone toxic or you don't think is good
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: for them, do you go tell them?
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: Hey man, Yeah, that person's like no, do you.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: What is your I know y'all, don't I know what
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: we do? All three of us like problem.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I feel like you would be the one who'd be like,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: hey girl, can I know see?
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: And you know, innately I want to answer that.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: But over time, my wisdom, over my almost forty years
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: on this planet has been that knows.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I think we could round up at this point.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: Oh damn, I still got like two more months.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Nine point down.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: But I think that if you go tell them like
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: it one the people I would have said that to
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: are the people that are like still married almost twenty
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: years later.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: I'm like, damn, okay, I I didn't believe it, but
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: like here they are so fuck me.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Like my friend who I was probably like the most
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: against her marriage, she's definitely like still buried, very happy.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, perfectly good.
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's wild.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, you know, and I'm glad that I
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: didn't at the time. Yeah, be like, look, this guy
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: is a fuck Like yeah.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: Right, parently, but I wanted to at the time, when
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: I was twenty years old. I want to be like, oh,
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: that's not great.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: And I feel like this this is adjacently true for inventions, art,
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: all sorts of things that you don't know. You don't
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: know if it's going to break away. I remember there
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: was this really charming story a few years back where
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: there was this little old man who started a you
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: tube channel and it was just him sitting in his
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: chair talking to a camera, and then he would just
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: post the raw video to YouTube and it was hours
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: of him just talking about life or whatever, giving advice.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: And then some Twitch person found this and was like,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: this is adorable, and I like this guy, and like
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: steered his entire audience to this man. And this guy
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: went from having like three views on videos to tens
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: of thousands of views and became this huge phenomenon. Joe
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Rogan finally made it. Yeah, blinding about psychedelics. Yeah, So,
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: like part of me kind of feels like, all right,
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: so none of us are really qualified to shoot an
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: idea down. But when it's your family and you're you're
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: worried about their financial like health, that's tough.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: I think it depends for me, it depends on a
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: couple of things. Number one, the age of the person, Okay.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Number two, what they see yeah yeah, and and and
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: what they see as like the end goal, what are
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: they trying to do with Yes. I was wondering that
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: to be like when the letter started seventy he and
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: his wife they just enjoy making music. Awesome, cool, yeah, great.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Like it was like last week or the week before.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I was upstairs playing bass and Laura has a drum
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: because she used to do like drum circles and stuff.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, and she came in.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: She was like, was like, can I play its like
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: before she puts in the drum like okay, got it. Yeah,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: and uh and and yeah. We just played and it was.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: It was awesome. And live stream you didn't sound good. No,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: it was, but it was fun. It was a blast.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: I love doing it there it is. Yeah. He found
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: the sound board also. I like that the position we
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: would take with Nick and Laura is pushing them exactly
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: the other direction.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: You're like, no, no, no, you need to go for it.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: You have even heard it. I'm telling you it's awesome.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: Tell like, put it out there, let's subscribe me.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Do you think we need any other instruments?
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: No, no, just go for baby.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: You never know that.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: And you know Bob Dylan like attached kazoo to mouth
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: while playing the bass and just slap.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Isn't that the story of the Savannah Bananas too, Like, yeah, people,
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: so many people shut him down, and then it's like.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Doing it.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: But like I think, I don't know, somebody on c
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: S said this, and I don't know which one of
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: the three of you was, but talking about like having
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: a kid that wants to get into show business or
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: get into acting, and like one of the best pieces
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: of feedback you can give them is to tell them
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: you're not going to make it, because because if they're
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: serious about it, they're not going to let that deter
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: deter them. And then they're just going to like they
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: can they can like and they can handle the rejection.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: That's what you're going already rejected them.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: They're well, you're going to get a whole bunch of rejections.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: It's just going to be all retire business. Yeah, but
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: so I don't know, like if they think, God that
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: this is really tough, I mean at some point, I
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: think you kind of kind of run out of the
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: nice thing. And yeah, the financial part too, it's like.
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: Even help them find Like if someone came to me
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: and said, Hey, I'm gonna start a podcast, I'm gonna
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: build a studio in my house, I'm gonna spend you know,
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: twenty thousand dollars. And I was worried about this person's
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: financials and all this all the same stuff there, And
• 19:13
  Speaker 5: they said, you, I'm gonna send twenty thousand dollars with
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: a build a studio in my house.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: So that's a fucking great idea. I bet we can
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: figure out how to do it for like two hundred bucks.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: You try to help them, yeah, in some corners.
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I like that.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: Let's let's keep on playing, but let's turn the game
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: to like, hey, let's also let's think about like, we
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: don't have to spend twenty grand on this.
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: We can spend a few hundred dollars on this. Yeah, yeah,
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: I bet we can go find some used equipment somewhere.
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: We go over to our guitar center, find some used
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: gear over there. You want this microphone, They don't have
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: that microphone, but they.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Got this one here.
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: This one is usually two hundred and fifty dollars. It's
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: on sale for seventy dollars. It's used, it's on sale.
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: That's a good value right there.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Like, so you'd yes and them because you no, And
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: this is a whole nother paradigm. I don't think any
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: of us talked about can you talk them out of it?
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: I mean when he was talking about the similarity of
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: like the person who's dating somebody, and like you can't
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: talk them out of it, so don't try. They're only
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: going to see you as a naysayer. But like I
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: could see the writer, and I could see anybody in
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: the situation, I don't know that you could sit them
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: down and say, hey, you're off pitch, Hey this this
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: was weird and it wouldn't play. But also like they're new, Yeah,
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: they're gonna be how you stop sucking? Go back and
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: listen to episode one of pod Therapy.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: No, I dare you it interesting if you think we
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: sucked now?
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I told you there was like a pause
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: that wasn't edited out or just like like this is
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: so funny. I go listen episode I think.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I want to do that.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Don't do that at all. We'll delete that it. No,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: you really want to hurt yourself. Go listen to the prototype.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: We taped a prototype on a Laura has it and
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: that is her blackmail. That's why that's getting married. Yeah,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: that's it's doing it for the corporation.
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: Scoop Jesus in the chat is saying, when I worked
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: at a guitar center, I talked so many beginners out
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: of expensive guitars, told them to get something cheap until
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: they develop skills. Yes, well, and we all actually a
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: beginner instrument is a beginner instrument for a reason.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, said Yeah. When we started pot therapy, the very
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: we we in the beginning thought Okay, we're gonna go
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: swipe our credit card, spend hundreds and hundred of dollars
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: getting all of our own gear, learning how to use it,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: and like this huge learning curve. And then we really
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: wrestled with that because it was like we haven't even
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: gotten any of our skills down. We don't know how
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: to do a show. We should not be making this
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: level of investment. Let's go to professionals, let them do
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: that part, and like let us focus on the art.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: But like that's another thing too. If the writer's parents
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: are putting this stuff out there, the internet is going
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: to fix this, right, Like the internet is going to
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: is there any way the Internet does not tell you
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: you're a bit pitchy, you know what?
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because then the video was weird. That's a whole
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: nother element do anything right to do this?
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: I was thinking you all mentioned like Jacob looking at
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: other people's you know, performances, whatever, Like can you find
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: somebody else who isn't invested in them, like they don't
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: make money off of them and it's not a family.
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: Can you have like one or two other people that
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: you know or can reach out to?
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: And like, I don't tell people who are in the
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: industry when they ask me for opinions, I don't.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: I don't give them opinions like.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: You shouldn't be in this industry, Okay, because I figure
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: that's not helpful, right, I give that.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: I give that opinion to people who aren't in the industry.
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: Yet I give that opinion to like high school and
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: college theater students. That's fair, right, Or I'm like, if
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: you can be in a different industry and do this
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: as a hobby, awesome. This is a really great fucking hobby.
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: It's a tough business to be in. Like a lot
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: of people have a really hard time being in this business.
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: You might not want to do that, but it is
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: really fun to go do a show at your community
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: theater twice a year.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Or yes, like that's great, or the young people who
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: are really skilled, who could maybe take your job. You
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: want to tell them, hear them, you can't, you can't
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: cut it.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I give them a job that day. I'm like,
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: you're you're with me, now, come on, come on by.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Your internship has begun.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: You're you're you're my guy. Now I'm not working anymore.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: You're doing all of it.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: I'm not worried about the writer's parents spending money on
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: this because, in my experience, people that have a dream
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: and they're going to take their shot, they will learn
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: through the pain of their own consequences, right Like, they
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: will spend thousands of dollars. They will publish that video.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: They will sit there and stare as it's at zero.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: They will pay for advertising and try to get an
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: algorithm and all this other crap, and like nothing will happen,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: and they will have that sobering reality check where they go,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: oh no, and then the next time it's like, well,
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: let's drop another ten k on this. They won't or
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: or you're wrong and they're right and their video is
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: going to be awesome.
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: It could go the other like ironically awesome, Cha, what's
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: that movie new?
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: The Room?
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they could be the next Tommy Wisou. Yeah.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: Yes, see, you never fucking know.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Well, once you send us the links, writer, we're going
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: to help. Like I mean, we don't have a huge audience,
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: you will get all of them. We're gonna make this
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: shit as viral as we are capable of doing.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm all for people learning a lesson as
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: long as they can survive learning that lesson.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, well said, yeah, you.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: Know because like relative well, yeah, I mean i mean,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: like financially, like somebody's gonna be like I'm gonna I'm
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: gonna take my last thirty grand and I'm gonna pump
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: it into disc and then it's like I'm gonna go
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: bet it all. Okay, yeah yeah, but then when you
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: when this goes tits up, then now it's my responsibility.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: To take care of you. Right. I don't like that
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: is not becoming my problem. I have that fear with parents,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: like the writers talking about their parents, and I think
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: that all the time, Like if if all of a sudden,
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: in their seventies, my parents are like, oh, I've got
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: this crazy idea, I'm gonna give all this money to
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: this preacher or do it's like, please don't because this
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: is my problem. Like if you if you do this,
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: it's immediately my problem.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: So we've given the listener a lot of long term feedback,
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: like here's what you're doing long term, give your money
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: to a preacher. I think today they come to the
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: writer and say, what did you think of this video?
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: What does the writer say it needs a guitar solo?
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: You always say that that's always the move, like longer
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: guitar solo, or needs a guitar solo?
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: More? What was the sexual cow bell?
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Also more sexual? I felt I was almost too connected
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: to the dancers. If you could just get more of
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: them going in there, it'd be really cool.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, that would be fun to just go the
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: complete opposite direction, scorched earth right, like you can fix this,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: just crash the car. You know what, what would be
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: really cool, dad, is if you played in the key
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: of a minor and then she sang in the key
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: of D major or something like that.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: It's a critique people. Only people that get it get it,
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: you know, like.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: It's avant garde, real musicians.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Oh god, this is so good. Yeah, just try to
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: keep pushing them toward like complete hipster like it has
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: to be the least cool thing for them to like
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: finally be satisfied.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: There is there something that happens when you're seventy also
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: that makes you want to just live your dream like
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: it's the last of your life.
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: Like I've ten to fifteen more years. Maybe let me
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: just do whatever the fuck I want.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: I imagine there and also the beauty of hope, Like
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: there's a part of me that I don't know if
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: we know the parents name, no, but like there's a
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: part of me that feels like you've got to be
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: able to hope in things like even how in that
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: movie The Invention of Lying, Ricky Gervai's character invents lying
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: to help his mother die, yeah, and tells her about.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Heaven and everyone gets a mansion and.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: It's beautiful for her and she's like wow, and like
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: you see him kind of go through this moral epiphany
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: of like I think it.
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: Invents lying actually in that movie to get laid. I
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: think later on he invents religion. Okay, I think he
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: gets laid first, though.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: No, I think not that the first thing. No, I
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: don't think so. I think the first thing was that
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: he uses it to get.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Money, goes to the casino too, doesn't He says, Oh,
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: I just hit the jack.
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: He went to the bank because like he's out of money.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: He couldn't pay rent, so he goes to the bank.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Actually I had this much money. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: But like there's something actually beautiful about that, and like
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: the character realizes humans need to have something. And I
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: think in the end, existential depression, existential dread, staring into
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: the existential abyss, the meaninglessness of all of it is
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: one of the most dangerous things that that human consciousness
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: can do. And we all come up with some kind
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: of illusion to get through the day. Whether that's I
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: need to go to work, or I have to get
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: to the end of the week, or it's meantalll Awareness Month,
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: or I'm gonna release this album one day. We all
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: suffer from some amount of delusion that is necessary for
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: our survival. I think you're just seeing this in stark
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: relief in person in their seventies.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: They may know that they sound terrible, Yeah, they might.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: We know we suck. I think we've never wondered if
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: we're at this what. Oh no, today's the day, ship, Bud, You're.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: What I know?
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: I go in later and I dub over it.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: It's me.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: That's why I sound like that, why I.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Sound the voice everybody thinks is you.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: That's me. I'm dubbing in later.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: It's the screen, so it's been revealed.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: That's why I keep saying words like pello, and that's
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: why you talk so weird. No, but you know, for
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: I think to answer that question, for me, I have
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: such terrible attributes. Attributes.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: Attributes is just a tribute. I think I would lie.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: I think I would keep lying to the parents. I
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: would never and like I did this with with my
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: family member who was coming to me at the invention thing,
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: I never I never actually endorsed it. I never falsely
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: gave them more confidence because I was worried because there
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: was gonna be real consequences in their lives. So I
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: never told them this is a great product, you've got
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: this put in more money, Like I never encouraged it.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: But I would always be very polite and i'd never
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: take away from it. And whenever they'd ask me for
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: some practical move, like you know, should I invest fifty
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: thousand dollars in this research study, I would say, hey,
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: double triple check that I really don't think that sounds realistic,
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: and let me do some research. How about I put
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: some elbow grease into this too, like what Jacob was saying, like, Hey,
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: let me see if I can help you save some
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: pennies on you know, your equipment, or find you a
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: better deal, or even calling some of these studios on
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: their behalf be like, hey, I'm their daughter, like I'm
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: their son.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Are you guys? Are we cool?
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: Like you know, are you guys being cool about this?
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: And like just so that they know there's iesight right,
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: like Okay, I don't think you can do that. No,
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: that's too much.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: I think that's too much. Okay, because then you're undercutting them.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Oh good point, you're underutting the person that they're that
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: they're like involved with, and that person who can say,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: oh your daughter called Yeah, yeah, no, that's sure.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: You don't want to do that, You're right, but yeah,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know how you three feel about it. I
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: don't feel the need to snap my fingers and try
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: to get the person to wake up. I just will
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: not endorse it or feed the delusion. Yeah, but I
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: will be polite and allow them to suffer delusion. Because
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: I suffer thousands of delusions to get me through my life.
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: I mean, delusion, what delusion? I don't know that they're
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: having things, they're having fun doing something. Yeah, if they're
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: if they're good at it, they're good at it. If
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: they're not good at they're not good at it. We
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: do hobbies because we enjoy doing hobbies, not because we're
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: not because we're good at hobbies.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: The delusion is if they get upset because we're uh,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: the Rolling Stones are not answering their phone calls to
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: open for them.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think Pen used to talk
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: about this a lot with art that Penn stopped saying
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: art was good or bad. He would just say it's
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: it's not for me, I'm not the intended audience. I
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: feel like that a lot about pod therapy, like I get.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: During my interview with Emma, we talked about like how
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: scared I've been over the last decade and one of
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: the things in general, yeah, in general and about podcasts,
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: but one of the things that's kept me involved is
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: the community that just chooses to like it, not because
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: it has earned that, not because I have earned that,
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: but because they have decided Nope, I like this little
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: band of misfits. I like what they try to do.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna put money behind it. I'm gonna support it.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna show up and sheer from the rafters. I'm
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: gonna show up their stupid live zoom and just tell
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: my like them.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: They're all gone, oh shit, Oh yeah.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: I figured the wouldn't last very long now, But like,
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: I think that that could happen with this elderly couple too,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: that like, yeah, there's five people in the world that
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: like their stuff. That's worth it to them or it's not,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: But like, that's real. I think that you don't even
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: need one person to like it to validate your project.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: And that's why we should take pod therapy back to
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: the phone and just record it for ourselves.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, Oh that'd be if that takes me out
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: of that loot.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Keep on talking. Yeah, well I think we should still
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: we should still keep hiring Jacob. I think he needs
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: to hold the phone. He has a better bone than us.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: I'll produre a stand anyway, cringing. Good luck with this. Please,
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: if you're willing to send us a video, I promise
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: we will be nice. Our community would be so nice,
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: like we are the ideal audience for these people, we
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: would choose to cherish them. I would I would like
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: we're gonna say quick break, and when we come back,
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: we're talking about adults who lack social skills. You're listening
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: to pod Therapy.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Junior Schneider, Leon Kasab,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Carolyn Albert, Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike Helm, Darren Cunningham,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Brady Malayjack, Max the Gender, Scoop, Elli O Dare, Amy Ardvark,
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: and Edgar Allan Hoe. Would you like to sponsor the show?
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Become a therap producer Matreon dot com, slash Therapy.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Edgar in the Zoom too welcome, Edgar, Nice to have you.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, I do have trivia. It's im to use
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: it in honor of our live show. These are all
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: questions about live television or live radio.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: True.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: All right, okay, Jacob's up one? Yeah, Wow, your turn?
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: Shit coming up from uh.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: During the infamous nineteen thirty eight War of the World's Broadcast,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: What Fictional News Interruption reported the first Martian landing a Newark,
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: New Jersey b Grover's Mill, New Jersey, C. Princeton, New Jersey,
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: or d Trenton, New Jersey.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: So one of these New Jerseys is the one that
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: that accidentally made it sound like this was a real invasion.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I believe where this fictional news was reported from.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Oh give me Trenton.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: No, sorry, damn you Trenton.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Fuck me again. Which way do we go?
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Whitney, Whitney?
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: What were the other three options?
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Newark, Grover's Mill or Princeton Newark. Oh no, it's Grover's Mill.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: I mean I remember that.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: What was that like?
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: Do you remember that.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: In nineteen thirty he was clutching his old timey radio
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: making like oh no, looking up with the sky, yell
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: like take me with He had just graduated high school,
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: all right. I had just gotten back from the war
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: in thirty eight, and babies were one. It took him
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: a long time to get back.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: It was pregnating everyone that The Long.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Way Okay Whitney, which live television broadcast in nineteen sixty seven,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: became the first program internationally aired worldwide via satellite to
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: an estimated four hundred million viewers.
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: Gotta be like, wait, what year you said?
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Nineteen sixty seven?
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Shoot from the hip?
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: Is that the main.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, do that options a the Apollo eight Christmas
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Christmas broadcast? That was b our World, c the Ed
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: Sullivan Show, or d Live.
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: Aid obviously the Apollo one.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: I think you got it. No, oh, the Ed Sullivan Show. No, No,
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: My options are live aid or what our world? Give
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: me our either it is our world point for Jim,
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know, but I knew Live Aid came later,
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: so I think that was the one for Freddy Mercury
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: or something.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I Live Aid had Freddy Live Aid Mercury. Yeah, Queen
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: performed in all right, I will scratch that question. All right,
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: moving on to the next one, right, because I did
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: have a Live AID question on Here was the question?
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: It was what band is best known? Or something like that.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Oh wait, yea Queen? Uh Jacob for your second point
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: of the round during a nineteen seventy eight live television appearance,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: who shocked audiences by uttering the phrase well fuck them
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: after believing the cameras had stopped rolling.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: Janet Jackson, Oh.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Was that? Carson? Did Carson do that?
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: You're gonna shoot from the hip, Carson? Oh my god, no,
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: I'll take options please.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Paul Simon, or John Lennon.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: Oh boy, give me Sinatra.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: No, damn it, Franky.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: Fuck me again.
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: What were the other ones?
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Lennon and John Wayne, Paul Simon or John Lennon.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, you got two Beatles in there.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: I know you wait? Which two? Which two?
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: H Simon?
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Paul and John Paul Simon of the Beatles? John
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: not John Wayne?
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: The other?
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Oh not John Wayne?
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: No, John, John Lennon.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: John Lennon, John Lennon, and Paul Simon from the Beatles. Okay,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: I was going to guess Lennon, No, it was John Wayne.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Oh see. Here's why I would have been thrown off
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: by that question entirely, is I don't see why anyone
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: would be shocked at any.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Of those four. Yeah, true, that's very true.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Like Carson, I would I would see people being surprised
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: He's coming homes in the evenings like America's.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: I feel like Jacob's gonna scoff at me at this
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: but just this week, Yeah, scoff away. I just learned
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: that Elton John has a song about uh being a bitch.
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: I was like, that's a fun song.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Before I don't know, this was great.
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: No, can we get a drop of that though?
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: I'd love that? Nope, learned.
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: I was like, well they cussed in the.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: I believe that that was invented the seventies. All right,
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: So tie game. I think I'm I got a point?
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: And uh, did anybody else get a point?
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: Or is it just me?
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: I got?
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: I got at least I think I got I got
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: a point. All right.
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: We'll call it him too because he gets queen off.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: The it's adults who lack social skills. Hey, y'all, longtime listener,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: first time writer. Love the pod and especially love the
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: sprinkles of Horsey related content. We need a talk truck
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: and pony soprano update. Well they're looking very they're just
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: chasing Emma around anyways. Similar to your intern, I am
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: an adult horse lady who works in the mental health field.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Which half is? Which that is? Is it like left
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: and right or top and bottom? I hope it's yeah,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: I hope left and do the boobies dangle underneath the
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: legs or are they up there? If it's left and right,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: it's just one Oh okay, yes, one booby?
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: How silly of me? Yeah? Okay? And then a string
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: of teats side horse teat string of them anatomically correct way.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: I got a string of pearls, but in this case,
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: horse teats. What you're gonna do, what you're gonna do
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: when they spurt on you. Horse teats. Horse teats anyways,
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: similar to your intern, I'm an adult horse lady who
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: works in the mental health field. Horses have been a
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: big part of my life for the majority of my life.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: I am very lucky to be in the situation that
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: I am where I have a few show horses and
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: am with an awesome group who are not only kick
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: ass riders and trainers, but also my best friends. The
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: core of the group involves me, the head trainer, the
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: assistant trainer, and one of.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: The other boarders.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: We're all super close and do stuff outside of horse
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: related things. One step out of that is the rest
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: of the people at the barn. For a larger ish
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: group of people, adult females ranging in age from twenty
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: to seventy five. We all get along amazingly. We all
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: help each other, work well together, and watch out for
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: each other and each other's horses. Our group doesn't change much.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: The outer layer may lose or gain someone every couple
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: of years, but that's about it. However, about two years ago,
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: a lady came into the barn and ended up working
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: with our head trainer. To say she has no social
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: skills is an understatement. She's retired, read, has nothing to
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: do but be at the barn all day, and retired
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: from a job title where it's pretty much common knowledge.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: Based on the job title, there was an expectation that
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: everyone would bow down to kiss her ass.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: I will give missus Queen Elizabeth. I think it is yeah,
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: my job.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: Too soon soon, I I will give her credit for
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: now Victoria Queen Victoria appropriately Queen Victoria changing to Victoria
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: in post live audience, keep your mouth shut. I will
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: give her credit for how hard she had to work
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: and how book smart she is to accomplish what she did.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: But that's where the credit stops.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: It's exceptionally hard to put into words exactly what she
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: does because it's not like blatant lee asshole behavior most
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: of the time. Sure, she'll be condescending to the barn
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: workers and things like that, but my issue with her
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: is weirder. This lady does not get social cues or norms.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: The first day I met her, I was just at
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: the barn on a weekend without anyone else there outside
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: of her, and she managed to follow me around for
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: about four hours, telling me her life story. I tried
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: giving subtle cues, like continuing on with what I was doing,
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: but she followed me and kept going.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Jim, I have the rest of this letter. I'll just
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: read the rest of this ahead.
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: While following me around, she continued to play Genuines Pony
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: on a loop on a small music player that she
• 41:27
  Speaker 5: was carrying around. The weirdness part of this it was
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: not battery operated. There was an extension chord in play,
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: several people manning the extension chord keeping it at a
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: good distance.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: I was honestly surprised by it. I like that U
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: fake stared at an iPad to do the bit to
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: the bit. So good anyway, Yeah, I tried to give
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: subtle cues, like continuing on with what I was doing,
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: but she followed me and kept going. Since then, it's
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: become a huge problem.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Everything is on her turns. You never know when you
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: pull in and see your car. It stuck in my head.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: My head, so I'm not kidding. And this was It
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: was nineteen ninety eight.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: It was nineteen ninety eight old ex therap producer Ben
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: and I. We listened to two songs all summer. One
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: was Genuine's Pony God Yes. The other one was no
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: Diggity Yes, no Diggity all day You're going to see
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: down Yes. So this was before Creed. Creed was not
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: even in the picture. So it's just those two.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Clearlier we were talking about playing music at home and
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: just goofing off. One of my like go to just
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: hanging out play songs is no Diggity. I'm acoustic and
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: doing like a soulful acoustic version of it. It's like
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: they ah good song and eat honest feedback if it's
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: asked for, Ah, I'm good.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: I choose to live in my delusion.
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: Everything is on her terms. You never know when you
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: pull in and see her car, if you're going to
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: be stalked and she won't shut up, saying hi will
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: get you a death glare or anything in between. Her
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: emotions dictate the entire vibe. She's no consideration of others,
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: such as asking a million questions of the trainer after lessons,
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: which fucks with the schedule. Even when the trainer tries
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: to move on, she keeps going. The worst part, though,
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: is her making her emotions everyone else's problem.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: This lady has.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Zero emotional regulation zero. Yes, she has had some shit
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: happen in life recently, but her reactions are so not
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: right sized. It is out of control, breaking out an
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: absolute hysterical crying while on the phone while at the barn,
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: losing her shit at her dog so loud we can
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: hear it halfway across the property, and my personal favorite,
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: the trauma dumping in graphic detail, which inevitably turns into sobbing. However,
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: literally any reaction you have trying to be a decent
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: human to that ends up being wrong and making it worse. Somehow,
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: she and I seem to get along, at least on
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: the surface, fairly well and better than most, probably because
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: I don't take it personally. I kind of have come
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: to the conclusion she legitimately doesn't comprehend social skills and
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: feel a bit bad for her because I'm guessing due
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: to all this she's pretty much alone in life. While yes,
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: these are little things, it's feeling like death by a
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: million paper cuts. One of my best friends hates her
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: so much and cannot stand dealing with her that she
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: is not joining us at many shows this year. Another's
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: cried to me multiple times about how uncomfortable she makes
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: her and how badly all of this is impacting her.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: The trainer is not in a great spot because she
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: is technically a client, and while she tries very hard
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: to set good boundaries, it's tricky. The culmination of this
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: has led to me dreading going to the barn and
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: seeing or working with my horses. Since I know she's
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: there basically all the time. I've noticed myself unconsciously making
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: excuses for not going. I've adjusted my schedule to try
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: and avoid her. Even if I have a podcast on
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: out loud, she earbuds in or anything also play this
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: one out loud.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: I think we've solved this. This Hey, old lady shull
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: the fuck out messing everybody up. Jump on the pony.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: I can't identify that to mister red oh oh. Even
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: if I have a podcast on out loud, earbuds in
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: or anything else, she doesn't get it. After working in
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: the mental health field all day slash week, the last
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: thing I want is to be trauma dumped on basically
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: without consent while I'm trying to just be left alone
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: and spend time with my horses, who I work super
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: hard to pay for. I'm just at a loss. While
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: I know most if this is totally not in my control,
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: what I'm looking for is advice on how I can
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: protect my peace, return to enjoying what is supposed to
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: be my self care time, and not be an asshole
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: in the process. Well, I want to just be blatantly
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: like leave me alone, or please don't trauma dump on me,
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: or get your shit together. I've watched others do that
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: and it makes a situation way worse. I still have
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: to see her almost every day, so I need to
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: keep that in mind. Your advice is so deeply appreciated.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: I cannot wait to hear this on the pod. Pronouns
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: are she and her?
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: I have the answer, Ooh okay, here's what you do anonymous,
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: because they didn't give anything they did.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: Here's what you do of horsewoman, though, I believe is
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: the identifier.
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: You recommend that she join her hoa. She will thrive there.
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: She will thrive.
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: Ye, she will thrive, she will not be your problem,
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: shelve lots to do. Yes, she's gonna love.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: It, and you're welcome to Parry solid.
• 46:58
  Speaker 5: Move.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: I think that's it. I like your idea better than mine.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: I dislike conflicts so much. I would just move the barn, okay,
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: Like I think it'd be great if she goes on
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: a week long vacation and comes back and it's just
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: a concrete slab.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Everybody's gone, everyone's gone, the whole barn.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: Horses. No, no, you can keep everything. Just moving to
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: the other side. I don't know where he's going with
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: feet to the left.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: She would just change the name of the barn, just
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: put up a new sign like this isn't it's in
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: a new ownership. They're very picky. She's coming out to
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: the barn where where you're are out there with the horses. Yes,
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: it's obvious. Okay, the answer is obvious.
• 47:44
  Speaker 5: Anytime you see her coming, that's when you start doing
• 47:47
  Speaker 5: all of the poop related chores in the barn. Yeah,
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: any that you have, any chores that you have in
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: the barn that are poop relating.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: And now she avoids you, that's the time to do
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: constantly anything that you have to do that has like
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: a terrible smell.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: This is when to do that.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: Like, that's actually anything that it involves like curing leather,
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: like the leather in a vat leathering. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: the worst, or just go bizarre, just like as you're
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: talking to her and she's just like eye contact with you,
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: fixating trauma, dumping, reached down, grab a huge horse turd,
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: big old bite of it, and yeah, stare right into
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: her eyes if you can out crazier like that's a
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: great way to get somebody to leave you alone.
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: But does everyone have to do that?
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And I think peeing in
• 48:36
  Speaker 5: the horse stalls wild while talking to you establish your peak,
• 48:42
  Speaker 5: corner and dominance all at the.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: Same time with wild eye contact. Yes, you get one
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: of those, like, uh, she like she pee things for camping. Yeah, yeah,
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: you get one of those.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: You just pull that out of your pants.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: We have one.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: You just pull that out of your pants and start
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: peeing in the middle of the horse stall and.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: You tell her no, please continue. Yes, well then it's okay.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: I've got I have a.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: Feeling she would still stick around based on this letter.
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: I feel like she would just turn her back and
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: keep talking.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: I think you can. I think you can have.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: Any of you ever had a person in your life
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: that just doesn't figure out that they they're oversharing and
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: like they're constantly coming to you, and it's like you're
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: just kind of like sending that person around the room
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: to the next person.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: I moved to Nevada is what I Yeah, I just
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: I just move like it's just yeah, it's well.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: And I was very curious at the end of the letter,
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: like the writer saying, Hey, people have tried to confront
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: her about this, but it just makes it worse.
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: Part of me is like, what is worse?
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: And the other part of me is like, if all
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: of you do, it doesn't get worse because at some point,
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: if everyone commits to the bit, that's not a bit
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: because you're fucking serious. Yeah, Like, if everyone commits to it,
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: how bad can it be?
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: Like will she get the hitt?
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: Like, well, sounds like some people have some people.
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: Everyone like because then she'll just go to the person
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: who hasn't done it yet, like and it sounds like.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: She's really emotionally justsregulated. I mean, clearly this person's got
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: a lot going on. The person seems to need to
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: talk to a therapist. Fundamentally doing that by like going
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: around the barn and just trying to socialize, needs to
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: be referred to.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: It you you work in a barn, You know how
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: these things work. I think this is the time.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: I think you've got to take this person out back
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: and get the old double barrel, and it's time to
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: old yeller this person.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's time to put them down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: So I have an idea that's similar to Jacob's about
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: the felony murder count.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: Oh is that what you got from that? Gim it's
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: a farm.
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm probably miss hearing. It's probably the headphone. Yeah yeah,
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: I'm just sorry. I just I go to a dark point.
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: You just you don't understand how farms work. You tell
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: me to I probably should. I'm gonna talk to you guys.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: I think I'm just gonna do what this old lady's doing.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: It.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: He's up to you guys. Follow you around anyway.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: I had a really good lunch.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: So I feel like what you do is you tell
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: the woman that one of the horses can secretly speak
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: and and like does understand things, and just be like,
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: but don't tell anybody. And then she's like sitting there
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: talking to this one horse like day in and day
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: out and it'll be great because then the horse can't
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: kill itself, doesn't have hands, and so like it just
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: goes through it.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: Right, I didn't read that she's stupid.
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, actually she's smart. Is the problem.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: The problem?
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: But you've had people in your life do this.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: I've I've had this happen too, And like even working
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: in clinics, like this will happen where you've got somebody
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: who's like emotionally very vulnerable and you're like, I'm not
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: even you're assigned therapist, or you've got to keep this
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: to the sessions because like we this is lunch, right,
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: or like you can't constantly be calling me or trying
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: to like get more attention. There is a way to
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: box them in.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: What about Bob?
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: What about Oh yeah, it's exactly yeah, yeah, this is
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: fundamentally that. So how do we deal with that clinically?
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: Maybe we start there even if I because this is
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: a colleague and this person has probably had to do
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: that a little bit, we could start with how do
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: we boundary somebody in who's like trying to bleed on
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: us too much in a way that's not confrontational. I
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: think we should start with that, even though I'm sure
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: this writer's already tried that. For the general audience, we
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: should probably start with when you have somebody that's overly
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: emoting and dependent on you, there are some gentle ways
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: that you can offer some boundaries.
• 52:29
  Speaker 4: Well, and again the other thing.
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: Listening to read through this letter, I was like, can
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: you go talk to like a supervisor or somebody who
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: is more in charge than you.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like she talked to the trainer, but
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: the trainer's like, well, there's a.
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: Client, right, I guess, yeah, question what does that mean?
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, here's how I picture this, Like if this was
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: like in my personal training business and I had like
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: a group and we were doing an exercise as a
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: group and there's one person that's problematic and everybody else
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: off and they all come to me and be like, hey,
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: you got to go talk to so and so, And
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, I don't want to upset them because
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: they're a client. I want to keep a good relationship.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: I think the woman's stables.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: For horses there.
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: So I get the money part, but at some point,
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: what I also hear, I don't know if people will leave,
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: Like that's.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: A big yea, you're going to lose everybody.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: You're going to lose five people by keeping one, Like
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: it's kind of how I hear that, So maybe trying
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: to approach again. I don't know how horse stabling works,
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: because I imagine it is hard to find a new stable,
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: so it's not like people will drop off quickly. But
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: like express that this is a bigger problem than just
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: you have one client.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: Like you bring up a really good point, like if
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: this person is a customer and that's like they're saving grace,
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: then by that same logic, they are causing other customers
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: to not want to participate in this business anymore. They're
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: not enjoying it, they're not referring friends to it anymore.
• 53:50
  Speaker 4: Like if you had your group class, I mean that's
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: something one.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Group members were leaving, you'd be like, okay, that I
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: can't do that again.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Like you're talking to a guy who hates move gym.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: I would go to a different gym, and I would
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: tell everybody but that client. I would just be like, yeah, okay,
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: we're going So the moving the barn thing, you weren't joking, No,
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: Like we're going.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: To EOS now that's where we're doing. Nobody I swear
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: to God, we've already done this three times.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: She just starts driving around and she asks if we're
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: all going somewhere together. We all say nay, clop claw.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: No.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: I think at some point, because here's the thing the
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: thing that makes us different about like work, because yeah,
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: obviously the writer kind of has these skills, but like
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: at work, there's kind of this pressure to like, Okay,
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: this is my job, I have to be professional, so
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: and so forth. Where's like, this is my hobby, this
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: is fun, this is and it's killing a good time,
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: you know, and like that sucks. And honestly, at that point,
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: I would probably just have to accept the fact that
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to be the bad guy here and
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: you're gonna.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: Have to say.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: And again, that's not murdered.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: I don't know, okay, because I'm down because around Yeah,
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: It's weird. It's life on the farm.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't. I've never been on one, you know,
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: I just don't know. I I think I would just
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: have to say, like, hey, look, when you come talk
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: to me, I get overwhelmed. I need some space.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: You got to leave me alone.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like can you be direct, like that's what I like,
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: you have to and about being mean. I know, here's
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: what comes to mind. I've had at least two family
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: members who are like this where they call you and
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: they start talking and it's like and like you can't
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: get a word in. Edward's like you can almost just
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: set the phone down and they wouldn't know you were
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: even there. Still like, don't we all do we all
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: have that answer or something?
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your mom calls us all. It's just's kind of
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: getting out of control. It's just Whitney won't answer answer
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: my phone anymore. I'm fine with it. She don't send
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: me the pics.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: I love it. No talking talking here, I'm cloud as
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: a podcast. We've moved on to a different.
• 56:08
  Speaker 4: Mom, different and I'm like, wow, is this what it's
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: like beyond their seeing?
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: Is the ball went up in the air and I
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: just saw him descending on the hoop. It's just coming
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: down on It's.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: That's like Whitney's mom.
• 56:26
  Speaker 4: I knew it's too easy, Like.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: Whitney's mom.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: I do like the theory of because I do think
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: that there is a polite way to say, hey, I
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: hear you, I care for you. But I really just
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: do not have the ability to listen while I'm here,
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: and I don't know, like, but god if if you've
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: tried that, and I think that that's what the writers
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: telling us is Like, guys, I seriously.
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: That's what I want to know. What it gets worse means?
• 56:53
  Speaker 4: Like what does that mean? How long it gets worth?
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: But like she brings a megaphone, yeah.
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: Megaphone, because part of me is just like, well, she's
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: in charge of her own feelings and you are you
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: okay with her being upset? Or is she literally bringing
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: like a fucking megaphone to disrupt everyone's life.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: I've seen people go to the gym and they'll wear
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: like the big earphone. I'll go say big headphones instead
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: of like the earbuds, And I feel like that's symbolic
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: sometimes big cordless headphones. Yeah, it's meant to be like
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: I'm not listening to not talk to me. That in
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: a hoodie, that.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: Over top, yeah, okay in the summer.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: Do you think writer has tried that? Because writer says
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: I'm listening to a podcast, I feel like walking.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: Around with the phone. No, I think the writer has
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: tried everything. I think you guys, time to get mean.
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: I think it's time to get weird.
• 57:45
  Speaker 5: I think like butt plug with tails just hanging out
• 57:48
  Speaker 5: of the back of your path, like the raccoon tail.
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, like like raccoon butt.
• 57:52
  Speaker 4: Plugs can't be a belt, It's got to be a
• 57:55
  Speaker 4: butt play.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: You go full furry. How weird is a belt Whitney.
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: Weird? I think?
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, we learned witness really vanilla against belts. I
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: guess it's suspenders only. I mean, jesus, you're wearing a
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: belt indoors.
• 58:15
  Speaker 4: I want to I wonder how they know it's a
• 58:17
  Speaker 4: book plug.
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, they're going to know, okay, because you're going to
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: tell you.
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: See the record.
• 58:24
  Speaker 4: That weird because they don't know it's you're going to
• 58:26
  Speaker 4: ask for help. You're wearing pants getting it in.
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: Well, they figured out when somebody decides to frank you
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: and grab the tail, that's the moment everybody tail tail.
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: Oh you could just start making very awkward sexual them,
• 58:41
  Speaker 5: not even trying to seduce.
• 58:42
  Speaker 4: That's uncomfortable.
• 58:43
  Speaker 5: But like, I bet you have really attractive nipples. Do
• 58:48
  Speaker 5: you have really attractive nipples?
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: I think that can also be No, it's a farm thing.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: Whitney. Clearly you don't. She doesn't get its life on
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: the farm. She doesn't understand how life on the farm works.
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: I think you go daytime television drama with this. Okay,
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: you show up and whenever, yes, evil twin, you come
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: in like or amnesia, you know, like somebody comes in
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: and goes, oh my god, did you hear about what
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: happened to Nick? Like know what happened? Oh wow? He
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: fell the other day, he hit his head, has amnesia.
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: All he knows is to love the horses.
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: Horses.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: He doesn't remember any of us or how to talk.
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: You know, it's amnesia because of the goatee.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: New he really is into the soul patch.
• 59:35
  Speaker 4: Trauma dump stories back at.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: Just like trauma up the story, jib jef, give me
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: a trauma dump story.
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: So there I was, and I just the screaming was
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: and I hear the screaming. How many people were screaming,
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: all the people, Oh wow, I mean the boat is
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: going down the water or icy, you know, And I'm
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: just like, I can't believe this is really happened, you know.
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: And on my bar mitzvah, of all times.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: I tell you what one time on my birthday.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: Uh huh.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: I was actually in two boats saints. Oh no, in
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: the same day. I was rescued by one boat and
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: then the other that sank. Oh I thought it was
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: one boat inside another boat.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: No, you should be like, so here it is. It's
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: September eleventh, two thousand and yeah. Okay, I'm in this
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: building taking a tour. Okay, if it's too soon for
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: Queen Elizabeth, what do you what do you think of?
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: So there I was on a German boat cruise and
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 5: all of a sudden, the German boat started sinking.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: And the people that the captain and everything. I was
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: up there where I could hear the captain, and the
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: captain was on the radio.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: He was on for sinking at the coast guard.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 5: The German coast Guard was there, thank god, thank god,
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 5: the German Coastguard was there.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: And because what you do the driving the capital and
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: there was a long pause. Yah yah, what are you thinking?
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: I think that's what you do to this lady.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: I think you did that joke. Yeah, but every day,
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: every day.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Same joke.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 5: Jo.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 4: I love this answer to it.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I think you.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: Go full aristocrats or you just start talking to her
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: in a crazy German accent.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, I think become the accent guy. There's always one
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: of those in every office, somebody that's always trying to
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: do different accents.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: Michael Scott about.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: Your life, but don't please, yes, come.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: Tell me God, Like, okay, you need this lady, keep going.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: This is it.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: I do agree You're welcome by the way. The directness.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: I like the directness or the direct like ignoring to
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: just be like I'm sorry, I can't talk today in
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: just constantly move. But that doesn't stop the problem that
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: this person's poisoning the ecosystem. And so I I do
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: think your HOA theory, while charming, is a little as
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: close to the right answer, which is you need to
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: go get the ho way of this place and like
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: activate them and be like, look, we've signed a petition
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: like get rid of I mean it might come to that, right,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: Like or is that just like cruel to like do
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: to a person who this can't be the first time
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: this person Yeah, no, no, no, that sounds no.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: And you know the therapist Whitney is like really feels
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: for this other lady because people who act so disregulated,
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: you know, they're all over the place, they're sobbing by
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: the end of this trauma, jump onto you, like I
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: feel for her, but you are not her therapist, and
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: nobody else there is, and I say it all the time,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: you are not responsible for her feelings.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: So, writer, here's Whitney's cell phone number. You're gonna give
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: this to this last.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 4: You do not, It's probably listed somewhere.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: Honestly, get her because we take questions, okay, I mean
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: we're gonna have to edit them.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be a little long. Bring in endless questions.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we need we need the cue.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 4: Send us place an email, yes, email, Yeah.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: Hey, there's three therapists and a life coach that would
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: love to hear your stories. Here's their pod therapy guys
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. Send it, you know, or just
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: like live stream the conversation. You know, Do you got
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: your phone on you anyway? Sape it? Yeah, send it over,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: transcribe it through an AI. Well, we'll just do it
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: our best. I don't know, writers doing everything they can.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: I guess all we can really do is commiserate. I mean,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: I definitely also appreciate as a therapist. After you've you've
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: already held like space for people emotionally you've been doing
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: this job, You're really wired into people. When you finally
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: aren't doing it, your recovery is really important, and like
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: I think for a lot of us, we need to
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: get away from emotional sensitivity. We want to go ride
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: a horse, you know. I want to go do labor,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: want to build something, want to listen to a story
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: like or just watch garbage television like.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: We need that, or just listen to old genuine albums.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I'm gonna do that on my way home.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: I actually too, I might get some Yeah no Digity.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: I feel like we put that on the Seafood Sugar
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: Cookie album. I feel like we we a cover of
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: no Dignity and then crossover into a pony you know
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: halfway through.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: Don't threaten me with a good time.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: Think it's gonna be Yeah, Yeah, that's right, as long
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: as she's got a hemp necklace. Otherwise I'm out anyway, Writer,
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: there's no clear answer to this. You're trying everything you can.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, you're trying to be direct, you're trying to
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: be polite, you're trying to be silent, You're offering silence.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: You've tried to the only thing I can think of
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: is I think that direct route of gathering other tenants
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: like yourself signing some kind of private thing. Yeah, maybe
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: an intervention or giving that problem to the administration and
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: being like, look, you're pretty hands off here. We all
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: kind of run the stables ourselves. We all take care
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: of each other. I'm sorry, but you cash the checks
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: that we write, you know, to stable our horses here.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 2: You have a responsibility to manage this community. Yeah, and
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: at some point it becomes that person's problem, and maybe
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: that authority figure actually does have a good influence because
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: they can sit down and say, hey, listen, you know,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: old drama lady. You know we've got to talk about
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 2: this like a lot of there have been complaints, you know,
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: So here's what we're going to start doing. You're limited
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: in how often you can come here if that costs
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: your horses. I understand. Here's the stable down.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: The road asking for a window of time she can
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: be there, so over and else cannot be there.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, like designated times from two am to four
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: a not but that's gonna work. You can have the
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: night and shift.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: This lady is clearly a nightshift lady.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: Am I wrong? And again one of the horses can talk. Okay,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: you've got to keep working on it till you say
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: something interesting. We're not which one now, you'll tell you
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: what yours. Okay, that's part of this. You have to
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: just work the room. One of them will reveal itself
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: when the time is right. Anyway, writer, thank you for
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: your support of our show. Good luck with your horses,
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: and just know that both Pony Soprano and Tonka are
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: doing very well and we all got to check in
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: on them today. We're gonna take a quick break and
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: when we come back, we're talking about helping my partner
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: cope with work stress. You're listening to pod therapy.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Judy Schneider, Leon Casab,
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: Carolyn Albert, Samuel Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike Helm, Jaron Cutting,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: Am Brady Malaysia, Maxi, Ginger, Scoop, Amy Ardvark, and Edgar
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: Allen ho Would you like to sponsor the show? Become
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: a therapyaccher at patreon dot com. Last all right, well
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: we last left off. I'm winning Okay, huh, I think
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: I am all right? Here we go Jim, which broadcaster
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: was removed from ABC's coverage of the nineteen seventy two
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: Munich Olympics after criticizing the handling of the hostage crisis
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: on air.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, yeah, give me options.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: A Frank Reynolds, B, Jim McKay, C. Howard Cosell or
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: D Chris Shinkle.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: I think it's Cassell.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: You're correct? Yes, five points. Whitney, do your best Howard
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: Cosell impersonation. He was a chinaman, I refuge.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 4: I will not be speaking one.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: Come on live on next question?
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: All right, all right? In television production, what does the
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: acronym e n G, which revolutionized news live news gathering
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: in the nineteen seventies stand for? Dear nose and gaping throat?
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 4: Sounds wonderful?
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: Changed everything changed the game.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: Option A electronic news gathering B external network graphics see
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: Emergency news group or D Electronic network gateway.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 4: And read the question one more time.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: Uh this television product E n G, which revolution?
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: What does it stand for? Uh? Let me just do
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: this all over again?
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 4: Is my answer?
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: Good job with no he yes?
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yet, damn it? What does it do?
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 4: It was a electric.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: Electronic news gathering.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: So what does that do?
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: Is that the del the wild?
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: There's news electronically. Okay, all right, it's is that it's
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: basically the wire. Oh, like it's the news wire that
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: like oh the.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: Ticker.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can say that word any more. Uh Jacob.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: Which television station is generally credited with airing the first
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: regularly scheduled television news program in the United States, A
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: w N b C New York, b W C b
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: W New York, c K T l A Los Angeles,
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: or d w G in Chicago.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: Oh dude, I like Chicago.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's Chicago. It's not a b W C,
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: b W New York. Yes, say nailed it, damn it.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: Congratulations one of the New York's.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: Got it right?
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: Actually, please get it right?
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: Ll U k RP Cincinnati. Do you ever watch that show? Yeah? Yeah,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: so you'll watch that when as a kid WKRP, Cincinnati.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: That was a show.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: That was the show.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: What was it about?
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: As a radio station? It's a show about a radio station. Ah,
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: guess what the call letters were w k r P
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: nailed it? Yeah?
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: W crap?
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: Is that the bid is that they're I don't know
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: if I don't remember that bit?
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: All right, Yeah, that's really cool. How old you guys
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: are helping my partner cope with work stress. Hey, gang,
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: First of all, thank you for the show. I look
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: forward to it every week and have been loving the
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: video format.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: This may okay, okay, okay, okay, do.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: You still love it?
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: I will try to keep my question brief and somewhat anonymous,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: but hopefully I don't skip over needed details. My fiance
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: works a blue collar job and has a ton of
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: stress about it. In my opinion, his stress is largely
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: self inflicted, and I don't know how to help him
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: reframe his thinking and lower the stress. He wants to
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: be the best at his company, which measures success strictly
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: on numbers, primarily sales and revenue brought in. He used
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: to be the number one in his position for a while,
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: but new people have come in and now he's about
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: fourth or fifth. He constantly compares himself to the people
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: above him and gets upset stressed about how much more
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: money the people above him are making and puts pressure
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: on himself to do better in order to raise up
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: in the ranks aka make more money. He makes good
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: money where he's at about one hundred to one hundred
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: and twenty k a year, but I slash there, Yeah,
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: I know, yeah, it's time to up that membership. There writer,
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: we're not even answering until you get to the their
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: partner level. But I think the knowledge that he can
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: be making a lot more leads to him feeling pressured
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: to do better. It's also compounded with the fact that
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: the people higher than him gets sent to better jobs
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: since they have better numbers, and he's trying to raise
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 2: the ranks with more mediocre jobs that have a lower
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: chance of selling, therefore not improving his numbers at all.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: I tell him that comparison is the thief of joy
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: and he can only do his best. We're not going broke, etc.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: But he cannot seem to look at it differently and
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: only sees how he should be better. He ideally would
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: just quit this job, but this company pays him much
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: better than anywhere else. He would be cutting his salary
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: in half if he were to leave. I support him
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: getting a new job, but he has huge financial goals
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: like paying off the house and retiring early that is
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: not opened, and he's not open to taking a huge
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: pay cut. So how can I help him lower his stress?
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: I mentioned therapy briefly, but got laughed off. I try
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: to do what I can to help him decompress more
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: than when he is home and plan things to do
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: besides being at work in home, but it clearly isn't effective,
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: as every Monday a new battle starts. I'm of the
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: mindset that a job should not make you miserable, while
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: he is more just put your head down and get
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: it done type. So I feel like anything I say
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: does not get through to him. Thank you for any advice.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: I know there isn't a magic fix.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: I just want to see the.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: Love of my life happy and thriving and do what
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: I can to facilitate that. Thanks Katie.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: This one's tough. So I did you get the sense?
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: And I know Katie talked a lot about the money aspect,
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: but how much of this do you think is not
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: really about the money but just the rank of just
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: like the competitive nature of like I used to be
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: number one and now I'm fourth or fifth.
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: I think that's a big part of it, because like
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: in commission sales jobs, those are so difficult, right, and
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: then they tend to feed the winners.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: Well, and it's important to let everyone else know who's winning.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: They're always getting it in front of you, and then
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: these guys start getting easy layups and they start getting
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: fed and so like it protects their winning and their position.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: And then like the right were saying, now you have
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: to fight to do as good with less good leads, right,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 2: because they're not giving you the gold anymore because you're
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 2: not the one who always slam dunks it. So then
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: it's even harder, and so like there's this almost seating
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 2: system where you're power protecting those who already have the
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: top rank and it's harder or you're pushing down the
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: people that are at a lower rank, so it's almost
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 2: like you're like you're not recycling anything, which the company
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: doesn't want to do. They don't care. At the end
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: of the day, they want the win, right, they want
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 2: the sale, and so they're giving it to the golden person.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 2: Whoever's at the top of the rankings right now gets
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: the best. So I think you're probably right. I think
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: the ranking is a huge part of this, But the
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: money thing is huge too. Like I get that the
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: writers saying, look, my partner does really well financially, and
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: like we're doing fine, But I think that there's a
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: special kind of suffering knowing you're leaving money on the
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: table and like that you could be doing so much
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: better and that's not like the opportunities are not being
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: afforded to you and you're not getting it done.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 5: What also sounds a special kind of pain doing some
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 5: financial planning, you know, that's something that not everyone does,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 5: is especially like early retirement planning for early retirement is
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 5: not something that people commonly do. So I mean, if
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 5: you're doing that level of financial planning, yeah, yeah, you're
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 5: looking at it going on, I could be making more money,
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 5: I could be getting to.
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: This goal faster. The I don't know what that it
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: sounds like.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 5: It sounds like this person understands kind of what they're
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 5: losing out on more than a lot of other people.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know about you, guys.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 5: I don't do a lot of thinking about how much
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 5: more money I could be making at any given time.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 5: Like I'm making enough money. I'm doing fine there, I'm
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 5: happy over here. This is all fine, Like I'm not
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 5: doing a whole lot of like how could I be
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 5: doing better?
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: Here's where I think this does show up. And I'm
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: curious if maybe even Peter has I think it's a
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: gambler thing, right, Because I was watching the movie Casino
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 2: the other day. I think it's Casino, and there's a
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: scene where there's a whale gambler and they're talking about
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: all the things they do to keep the whale big. Yeah, So,
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: like the big time gambler had won a bunch of money,
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: and then they came up with all these schemes to
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 2: prevent this guy from flying back to China, and so
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: they keep him at the hotel. And then the beginning
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: he's betting small, small bets and Robert de Niro's character
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: is narrating it, and he says, for that kind of gambler,
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 2: he would win ten thousand dollars, but he didn't feel
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 2: like he won ten thousand. He feel like he lost
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: ninety thousand because he wasn't betting big stakes. And so
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: even in winning, he was leaving all the money on
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: the table because he should have bet more and gotten
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: the big win. And there's some kind of like gambler's
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: fallacy to that where I feel like you're missing out
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 2: on the potential, and that like aches inside of you
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 2: to the point where you don't even appreciate the winning.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's also instant.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like a lot going through my mind because
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: this was that still is like a whole thing, especially
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 3: when you're self employed doing it. It's like, oh, any
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 3: day off is like I'm missing out. I didn't get paid, right,
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 3: which is yeah, it has its own thoughts exactly like
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 3: the writer said. But I go back to early on
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 3: in our relationship when Peter had just started playing poker
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: that was like right out of college, and the stakes
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 3: were obviously a lot lower, but it felt like a
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 3: lot of money. And so what would happen is if
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 3: he has a bad day.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 4: If he has a bad day, he's coming home and
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 4: guess who else is going to have a bad day?
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 4: Whoever else lives in the house.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: So it kind of permeates house because it's a vibe
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 3: like if your spouse has a rough day at work,
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 3: they come home and they're like, oh hum, like and
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 3: you just had a great day.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 4: You're like, yeah, cool, I did my job. I'm done.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 3: Like, let's let's have dinner, let's whatever, and you're just cool,
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 3: but they're heavy. You match that because I think that
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 3: happens naturally with anyone in our space, and so we
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 3: had to have quite a few talks, like periodically early
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 3: on where I would it would be like circles almost.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 4: For a while be like, why are you doing a
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 4: job that makes you feel like this? I would literally
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 4: ask yes. So I was like, God, this is really relatable.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 3: But it took a lot of those conversations, honestly for
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 3: Peter to look internally and be like, Okay, well what
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 3: is upsetting me about this?
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 4: Like money is money.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 3: And at the end of the year, when we're filing
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 3: our taxes, because we file our taxes, everyone like, right,
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 3: I r S if you're.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: Looking all, I promise you they are because bot therapy
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 2: doesn't okay, And so we've been working on it though we're.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: Getting better at it.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 3: So as the years would go on, you're like, all right,
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 3: every year you're fine, like and in fact you're doing
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 3: a little better every like you're improving because you're playing
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 3: where you're getting better like all these things on paper,
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 3: just like with your your partner, Like every year things
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 3: are are fine, you're doing great, like, but it always
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 3: feels like, well, oh, these players I'm playing with now
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 3: they're playing higher stakes or you know what, there was
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 3: a whale in town, like and I went played and
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 3: I played bad, and you know what I did, I
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 3: only made this many I should have done so much
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 3: better and now the mood's down. So it took a
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 3: lot of internal work for him. But I say that
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 3: to say, like writer, I think it takes talking to
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 3: them about how it affects you, because it's what I
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 3: used to try and do. Is you really do give
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 3: into that idea that you can help, like, look, i'll
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 3: help you, I'll lift you up. That's too much of
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 3: an emotional load. It is not going to last long,
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 3: Like you only have so much of that you can
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 3: give before it's going to turn into resentment or yeah,
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 3: basically resentment. And so I think talking to them about
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 3: how it affects you, like, hey, when you come home
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 3: and you're in this mood, whatever you need to do
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 3: to change your mood. That can be, Oh, you're on
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 3: your way home, you need to take like a twenty
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 3: minute walk around a park. You go do that, right, Like, honestly,
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 3: if they want to, if they're choosing to stay in
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 3: that job, they have the autonomy to do that. If
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 3: they're choosing to stay and still go through the motions,
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 3: because it's not an option to go to therapy it's
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 3: not an option to work a lesser job or a
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 3: job where they make less money but maybe are happier.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: Then they are in charge of managing their emotions that
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 3: affects others in the home.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 4: That's my opinion.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 3: But I will stand by that because this is somebody
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 3: you're spending your life with and their actions do affect you.
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 4: So I think that Whale Yeah, agrees.
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 2: You bring up a really good point, and I think
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 2: that that's good advice for the writer to say, Look,
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 2: we appreciate your letter where you're saying how do I
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 2: help good? You know, but literally a therapist was you know,
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: married to a person going through this too. I probably
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: tried everything, and like, at some point you can't, like
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 2: you just cannot regulate another person's emotions in this way.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 2: They have to be challenged on it. And you don't
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 2: have to be their therapist or their helper. Sometimes you
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: need to be their accountability to tell them, like, I
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 2: love you enough to tell you this cannot be the
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 2: vibe like if if I'm constantly regretting being around you
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: and like this is a negative thing, that's not good
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: for us, right, Like, so you have to look in
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: the mirror you have to check on this, and you
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: have to go through whatever process you have to do
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: internally so that you can show up and be healthy.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 2: Here so everybody take a drink. Oh here it is golf.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, it's like the plans are golf.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 2: Baby, it's one of you.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: I've got to I've got two tools.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is it.
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: Honestly, you take this exact same letter and replace this
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: with golf, and this is me one hundred percent okay, okay.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: And it's not about like the money. It's not about
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: the money. I'm not in this for the money.
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 2: It's not about the score. Like god, it's about the
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 2: score you could have gotten.
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But but the thing is is like, like I
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: relate to all of this, and it's it's the difference
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: between looking at outcomes or having outcome goals versus process goals. Yes,
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: you know, And I think that's one of the biggest
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: things that you're like in any in any kind of profession,
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: whether it be in sales, whether it be in poker,
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: whether it be in golf, Like yeah, now here.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 4: Will come home and even if he's had a losing day,
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 4: I'll be like, how's you.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 3: He's like, Oh, it's good, and I'll like kind of
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 3: ask the obvious quh, like are you up or whatever.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 4: He's like no, He's like, but I played really well.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, all right, Yeah, I've had these conversations
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: with Peter and it's very yeah, because it's very similar
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: what he does and pokers similar to kind of what
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to do and what I've started doing in golf,
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: which is now like I've got a whole I've started journaling.
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 2: It's a golf.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, but.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 2: But it's do you write it on the little tea
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 2: card thing where you keep the score?
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 5: Right?
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: I write it with a little pencil.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: Cards just kind of keep them.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: I have it on my laptop and so after every
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: round I go through and it it breaks. I created
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: this journal myself with all of these different prompts, and
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: it goes through, you know, like identifying what bad breaks
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: did I get because oftentimes I'll blame myself for ship
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: that I had no control over. Okay, Yeah, you know,
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: like like I'll be like, man, I fucking suck. I'm
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 1: so terrible. Then I'm like, okay, but no one could
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: have done.
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 2: This, yeah the alligator. Yeah, it's like, oh, so you
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: like pre list out your excuses. Yeah, but it's like
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 2: like the Jacob winners make excuses. Yeah, I see that,
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 2: that's how winners win, right, assholes, I'm feel better.
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's working about you and his diary.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I talked about diary so mean during
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 2: the podcast.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: I talk about things like likely I don't have very
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: long names, very long pre round. What was my mindset
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: going into it? Like how did I feel afterwards? What
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: were my expectations compared to my realities? How well did
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: I manage emotions? How well did I recover from dangerous
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: like from terrible situations, a whole bunch of mental things.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: And so now I'm kind of grading myself on that
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: scale as opposed to just simply outcomes, you know. And
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: I think like in sales, it's kind of a similar mindset,
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: which is like, okay, yeah, it's just if it's all
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: about just I need to have this much in sales
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: every month, as opposed to focusing on like okay, what
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: are what are the steps? What are the things I'm
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: going to implement, what are the strategies going to try?
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: You know what? You know, all these different processes in
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: order to get to that outcome, right, I also agree
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 1: too with what Whitney said about, like, you know, kind
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: of being able to check in with yourself emotionally and
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: be like am I.
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 2: Ready to go home yet?
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: Or what do I need to do because I'm not.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: I I know right now, I'm not going to be
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: one hundred percent when I go home. But if I
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: can do something right now to get maybe eighty percent
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: as opposed to going.
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 3: Home at fourty sears, Yeah, it's never like he's just
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 3: happy as a lark, but it's not as permeable.
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 5: If like, yeah, if I can just what I've been
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 5: out playing poker all night, it's ten am.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: Strip club.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that'll that'll cheer you up.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 4: Go have a little uh, a little distressor.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: Litt breakfast, ash and distress.
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 2: I love that are strip clubs in Las Vegas serve breakfast.
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 2: I just think it's a great time.
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 1: I assume they do.
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's trust me get the scramble.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 2: But I do think that there's something to be said.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 2: I think that there's a balance right because I agree
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 2: with the boundary setting. I do think that that's actually
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 2: really healthy.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: I also do think that.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 2: We'd all say, as a as a partner, I'm also
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 2: here for some of this, right, Like I'm good with
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 2: you confiding in me. You're not in this life alone, right,
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 2: and so like, if you are struggling at work and
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 2: having bad things, I do want this to be the
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 2: place where you do come talk about it. And that's okay, right.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 2: And I think we all are used to hearing our
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: spouse's grouse, you know, about life, and we do it too,
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 2: and there's there's a I think there's a good balance
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 2: to that. But I do agree that at some point
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 2: there is a nudge toward accountability. And Nick, I like
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 2: your advice there of and here's a way you can
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 2: do that, Like, here's advice you can give him that
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 2: you know I don't obviously, I think none of us
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 2: were happy to hear that he kind of blew off
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 2: the therapy thing and just kind of laughed and said, oh,
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 2: I would never do that. That's not great. I think
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 2: you can present it in a different way though, like podcast,
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 2: because maybe exactly yep, because maybe stable a horse at
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 2: this particular place, they'll put up with your bullshit, maybe
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 2: walk around and complain.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 1: He doesn't need therapy. What he needs is like performance coaching.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 4: I like coaching because yeah, well not even life coaching, like.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: Like real whatever, okay, yeah, no offense, chick. I want
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: to do one kind of coaching, and that is life coach.
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 1: Is fine.
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 2: Just as we try to flicker lights that do not flicker,
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 2: solid attempt just shuts down the studio. Yeah, I like
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 2: that idea of that actually comes up a lot. Like
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 2: one of my students was asking on my website why
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 2: do I put life coaching up there? And I told them, honestly,
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 2: it is for a demographic of people that like would
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 2: not talk to a therapist, but they do like the
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 2: concept of like getting coached and that works for them, right,
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 2: And I don't mind having a lane where I'm pretty
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 2: clear with them, like I'm not going to diagnose you.
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to use this kind of jargon when
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 2: they tell me, like I'm here for life coaching, I'm like, great,
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 2: kind of like what you're just talking about with performance work,
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 2: Like all right, let's focus on the problem. Let's let's
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 2: get solution focused about this. Right, there's therapeutic things I
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 2: can bring to this, and there's gonna be some emotional
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 2: yoga that happens because I'm going to try to get
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 2: them to talk about their woes. But well, we're reframing
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 2: it right as like this progress like do a little
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 2: bit better, kind of come at it again sort of thing,
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 2: take another cut at the you know, and like a
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 2: lot of men especially, they really do well with that,
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 2: you know, as long as you're not doing therapy with them,
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 2: God forbid. But if it's life coaching, great, So maybe
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 2: there's a route there where we could push this husband
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 2: toward some kind of performance coaching, business coach, you know,
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 2: leadership coach, success coach, life coach, because I.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 1: Think that's the other thing that's incredibly frustrating from the
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 1: husband's perspective is not just that you've fallen from first
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: to fifth, but this feeling that you can't do anything
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: about it. Yeah right, like back up there. Yeah, And
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: it's just it's incredibly frustrating. It's you feel, it's like
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 1: it's learned helplessness and you just start getting angry and
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 1: you take it out on whoever's around you.
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, at least then you've got something like
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: here's something that can actually maybe help you. Because if
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 1: he's got something to work on, and he's got something
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 1: that he can focus on and practice and he can
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 1: do something about it feeds the process exactly. Yeah, and
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: then you know, then hopefully performance will then follow and
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: then things get better in the relationship.
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's also tough when the only metric that you're
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 2: measuring your success by is the sales numbers and your
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 2: personal income. That's tough, right, Like if that's the only metric,
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 2: Like with golf, it can't just be that score. There's
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 2: so many other aspects of the game that you want
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: to measure. And you know that you're doing well with gambling,
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 2: like did you play a good game you can't control
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: the cards of the others, did you play the best
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 2: available strategy based on the hand you were holding? And
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 2: if you keep doing that good, then you are good
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 2: at what you do and the numbers should eventually bear
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 2: that out. And I feel like that's a big part
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 2: of this too, is helping the husband reframe how we
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 2: define what success is. Like, you're making a great living,
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 2: we're hitting some major financial goals, and now can we
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 2: measure your happiness in other ways? Like if we're only
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 2: going to measure by this one metric, then we might
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 2: always feel like that cup's half empty instead of half full.
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 2: Find other things, get a horse. Apparently that's what's fixing
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 2: everybody else's life. Yeah, you've got the extra money after
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 2: you patron the show of course.
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 4: Moon Now I can't put this.
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 3: On you.
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 2: Jump on it. We're gonna take quick break and when
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 2: we come back, thank god. We are wrapping up this
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 2: live show. You are listening to pod Therapy.
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Judy Schneider, Leon Kassav,
• 1:29:03
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• 1:29:21
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  Speaker 2: to you in the very same app that you are
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: listening to right now and Nick, I think we've got
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 2: some new friends who have joined the therap party. Who's new?
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: We got a new therapyal Sharkfire.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 4: Where are we laughing?
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: Sharkfire?
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: Shark, I said, shark Nope, shark fire.
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 4: Okay, that's great.
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: And we got a new Therapodana Tanya Yep Macrey nice, welcome,
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: And we have a new therapy producer how we do
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: who you've probably already heard Edgar Allan Hoe whoa welcome
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: chat just the chat earlier today, first day being a
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: therap producer.
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 2: So much thrown around that therap producer way, we love
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 2: to see it. Well, it is the first episode of
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 2: the month. As we leave Mental Health Awareness Month behind,
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 2: none of you are now required to be aware of
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 2: mental health awareness. Iim systemically ignoring it. As long as
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 2: you were aware, that is fine, That was fine. Forget
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 2: about it, forget about it. We want to thank our
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 2: therapods who support our show and make this program possible,
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 2: people like University Jeff Robert Paulson, Richard Bruins who was
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 2: also in the chat, Hey, rich Linda brand Meyer, Scoopster,
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 2: not Joseph I Grazio Corey Owens, Christine Phillips, Gavin Bristow,
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: Kerrie Terhark, Take It Ev Podcast, can We Fruit, Scoop,
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 2: Caraig Little, Jim Hunter, Scoopatron, Todd Canfield, David Swordson, Felicia Butler, Shalable,
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 2: Lauren Izzo, Katie Chibbakowski, Adam Pettanuzzo, Matt Lennegren, Scoopater, Ascending That,
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 2: Josh Guy, Mom and Ninja Scoop, James Dawson, Grumpy Lake,
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 2: Mead Park Ranger, Sam Buck, Karen McCulloch, What Weekend, Julius Cappell, Leila,
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 2: Kelly Gagner, Nippy, Brian Emra, Matthew Johnson, Alec Lancaster, j
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 2: D Congan, Matthias van der Brandt, A literal Pickle, Ken Tinsley, Flindy,
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 2: Joel McMillan. Nine to eleven was an inside joke Chemist
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 2: Free Lawson, Duffy the Amft Therapist, Bear, Matthew Cubic, Chad
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 2: Chad the Safety lad Walker, Fluke Almost Doctor Nurse, Joey Kierka, Grim,
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 2: Philip Guiton, Jenna Talia, Tim Mystery Had Get Well Done,
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 2: Tim Mystery, Kirsten Robbins, Melissa l. Geisler, Tricia Ortiz, g J. Seward, Mississippi,
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 2: Hippie Scott A, Jimmy B. Patti Glad Frontastic, Drew Hellige,
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 2: Heather w Anthony Camarada also was in the chat. Kyle
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 2: David Williams, Williams Nailed It, Kate Police, Buddy Dobbins, Eric Dyer, Curtipillar,
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 2: Glitch Scoop, Nathan Mookie, Persephone Hazzard, Bud Nuts, Stephen landon Or,
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 2: Stephan Aletta, Balaze, Adam Balaz, John Finlayson, Kenneth Wong, Carmen Perry,
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 2: Ben Sherman, k Pizzle Dizzle, Robert Cole, kJ Mister Poth,
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 2: Jeff Darnell sinsite Him, Jacob hurt Ray, j Shark, Silka
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 2: Daniels recreated Alex Jardine, Jacob B Dylan Collopye Wolfield five A,
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 2: Nita I, Nita Okay, Nailed It, Amanda Huggin kiss Linus Hakasan.
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 3: Like the.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 2: Work, Chris Courtney, Adam Goff, Kevin Tribe, Cedar, Hayden, Terrible,
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 2: Tay Almond, Nora charm City Therapist, Jereva k Trauma, Squabby,
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 2: Grace Sherry Hair, Itty Bitty Chicken Farmer, Sam k Matthews, LC,
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 2: Chris Foxy Sound, Chill Food, John Caravadas, Zachary W. Sam
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 2: and Scoop Winter, Scoop, bb Hermit, Cloudy Pies, Ashling Cartan Hunter, McCrae,
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 2: Hannah Amaya and Drachius s Yeah, Matthew Connor, Neck Pubes,
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 2: sc Platypus, Sherry Phillips, Rene Okay, Chelsea Sarason, Emily Cope,
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 2: Mike roch What, Mike fuck.
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: Burns Like Hell, Jesus.
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 2: Tra Mike Garrett, Godfrey, Nate Walt, Scoop, Bucky Maya, Mastri Thelistician,
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 2: Kyle Sharton, Matt Cod Bob Peas and Clams, Sunrise, Mike J. Nelson,
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 2: Fun Crapper, Thin, Renleag Beads, Renal Beads, Wow Uh, Tom Power,
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 2: Sharp Fire, Christy Valentino Gomez, Claudia Duhan, and Joseph Wagner.
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 3: We also have our therad actors, Ice Blue, Scoop, Scoop, Brady,
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 3: Brian Lehman, Andrea Anderson, Scoop, Lindsay Brosen Cusser, Laurie Elsroth,
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 3: Polygon Scoopy, Scoopy Es, Jess Si, Shaunagan Okie Scoop, Dank,
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 3: Butta brooks Lyle, Adam Ripchik, Lovely Spark, Badam Tuss but
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 3: I bet, I'm Jim and Manu, The Offices of Counselor
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 3: and Counters Yours Jim and Manu Quisti, Quizon Dale, the King, Mommy, Damate, Mommy, Damante,
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 3: Mike Lush, Technical Scoop, port Casey Menjor, I Love you
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 3: uh and Milk Boy Rebecca Boon Stratton, Oh, and another
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 3: offices of Counselor and Counselor.
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 4: Double time.
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 2: You're welcome, double time. We'd like to thank the Benevolent, revered,
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 2: generous and flagrantly pro therapy Diehard, who loves you all
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 2: so much they give till it hurts. Aren't there a partner? Pickett?
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 1: Are just sitting here?
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 2: Flassen Steel, Oh, it's a really good sock, and we
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 2: want to thank our bosses, the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 2: members of our fan club.
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: Are there?
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 2: A producers? Thank you, Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior, Mint,
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 2: Smitty Scoop, Richard Fucking Macy, Jody Schneider, Malia, Leon Cassab, Carolyn, Albert,
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 2: Kevin she Imberlin Tess Miller, Dan Martin, Sammy Scoop, Slippy
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 2: Ka motherfucker, Ben Stanley, slap in your face, Adam has
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 2: the Chance, Spiler t Mike Swan, ros paris a Sonny
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 2: point you and your Baron Cunningham Lives sand Single Ago Thunder,
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 2: Cougar Foxes and Chills your Smy Andrew ling mead Amma.
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 4: This is gonna be the next trivia relationship.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 2: Gabriel, that would be a great trivia if you. Let's
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 2: do it, Sean Sutherland, Max Scoop, Chad My Pony, Adam Warren,
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 2: b Elli, O dare not Curen Knightley and Amy Art
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 2: let's do it?
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 1: And Tony one more person who's the newest? Uh oh yeah,
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 1: I forgot to add Edgar on there. I'm gonna do
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 1: that right. If you watch you this episode uncut and
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: on a wow you and enjoy our spontaneous side projects.
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: Go to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank you
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 1: for supporting mental health.
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 2: That's all the time we got for this live episode.
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 2: We want to thank our Landlord's s J in the
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 2: Ruckus Scenic Cooy Pond Studio, and thanks to our live
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 2: audience who joined us today.
• 1:36:16
  Speaker 1: And had fun with us.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 2: We really appreciated. Remember, pod therapy isn't something you should
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 2: keep all of yourself. Shared the episode with the world.
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 1: Tag us on the socials.
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 4: When you do.
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 2: It's at pot therapy guys on Instagram, threads and Twitter.
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 2: It's slash pot therapy on Facebook, and don't forget about
• 1:36:29
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• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: Send us questions. We need questions. You can ask anonymously
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: at pod therapy dot net, email us at pod therapy
• 1:36:39
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• 1:36:40
  Speaker 1: the episode description to be taken to our anonymous Google form.
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 2: I'm Nick, I'm I'm Jim.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 1: Thanks and we'll see if your appointments next week.
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 2: Fun times first Linasty Babe Beejacob nineties.
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 1: R and V. I read your.
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 2: Dude that gives me middle school bus ride.
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 4: Oh that's what I thought was middle school? Maybe maybe
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 4: sixth grade.
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 2: Jesus, dude. Every song was about fucking the entire bus ride.
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 2: That's too much.
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 1: I did it all for the nookie, But what the nookie?
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 4: We didn't know cookie.
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: Sticking up there.
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Zoomy's thank you so much for joining us.
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 1: This was a lot of fun. We appreciate you being
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 1: in the chat.
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 2: Anybody still in there?
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 5: Bye?
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 4: They left when we were the name.
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 1: Bye bye