Latest / Privycast / Ep. 79 Mr. Hankey the Christmas 2

Transcript

Ep. 79 Mr. Hankey the Christmas 2 · Privycast

0:01
>> Speaker A: So all these, like, grass and corn fed
0:03
hippies come to town for this film
0:05
festival, and it's. It's causing some real problems
0:08
in the sewer.
0:18
And welcome back to privy. Privy is
0:21
a podcast about bathrooms
0:24
recorded from my home
0:26
bathroom. I'm your host, hunter Hoover,
0:29
and I love bathrooms. Uh,
0:32
welcome back and happy, um, holidays.
0:35
Merry Christmas. Joyous, whatever you do. Um,
0:40
it's the Christmas season, and
0:43
for those of you who are out there and are
0:45
like, well, you can't start Christmas until, well,
0:48
guess what? It's after Thanksgiving, so now it's
0:51
Christmas, or whatever your
0:54
holiday cheer is made up of, I wanted to give you
0:57
just a brief bathroom, uh, update,
1:00
a couple of things that have been going on in my life.
1:03
The first is, and I've shared
1:06
this update in person to a couple of people, but
1:09
I would be remiss if, on this
1:11
podcast, I didn't share just this
1:14
brief story of the gentleman who was lotioning
1:17
himself so aggressively at the gym. Um,
1:21
and I know we're coming out real, like, merry
1:23
Christmas, hit you with the Christmas right up front, and then
1:26
instantly begin talking about a man lotioning himself.
1:29
But you don't see something like this very
1:32
often, and so when you do, it sticks with you
1:35
and it goes with you. Um, so I arrived at the
1:38
gym, as I usually do. I got my bag on my back, and, uh,
1:41
I go into the gym to change into my
1:44
gym attire. Discount
1:47
Walmart shorts and budget shoes that are
1:50
falling apart. Uh, but as I
1:53
go in the layout,
1:56
it's got a couple of nooks and crannies. Those nooks and crannies
1:59
are going to come into this conversation.
2:02
Uh, and I round the first
2:05
nook, and when I turn my head,
2:08
I see a man lotioning his crannies.
2:10
And what you got to know
2:13
is they have these benches in the gym
2:16
locker room that are. They're probably six to eight
2:19
foot benches. You could easily put two to three
2:21
blokes clothed on one of these benches. But
2:24
this dude was sitting full
2:27
spread eagle, like, just total,
2:30
total hog to the wind.
2:33
And on a towel. He had his towel spread
2:36
on the full length of this bench, and he
2:39
just had his legs in the
2:42
most fierce man spread I've ever seen in my entire
2:44
life. Um, and he was just
2:47
aggressively, I should add, like,
2:49
lotioning his inner thigh, like, all the way
2:52
down the entire length of thigh,
2:54
lotioning it with some very, very
2:57
fruity smelling lotion.
3:03
And that's fine. I'm all about
3:05
moisturizing. Uh, a, uh, dude's got to moisturize.
3:07
But he was spreading
3:10
lotion in his groin region
3:13
the entire time I was changing, which I take
3:16
a little know. We're talking three to
3:19
five minutes of
3:22
full Bentley lotion spread here. It's too much
3:25
like, in my opinion, in my humble opinion, it's too
3:27
much lotion spread. And the
3:30
best part was. So I'm seeing, I'm kind of like, laughing
3:33
in my own head. But what puts me over the edge
3:36
to not laughing in my own head, but now laughing
3:40
somewhat out loud, but not, like, loud enough to
3:42
where Captain Lotion can hear me is
3:45
another gentleman comes into the gym locker
3:48
room, and as he rounds his
3:51
nook, he gets full sight of
3:54
dude lotioning crannies and just
3:56
goes, oh, gosh. And
3:59
just turns back and walks all the way
4:02
to the front of the locker room where nobody takes
4:05
those lockers. Um, but he was like, I am
4:08
not taking a locker next to lotion guy. Um,
4:12
so, lotion guy, if you're out there, you just keep
4:15
hydrating. Um, and
4:19
good on you. Uh, you really had it hanging
4:22
out there for all to see. But again, merry
4:25
Christmas, happy holidays, um, whichever.
4:28
Yeah. Um, this year we
4:30
here at privy, we need to take another look at
4:33
something. So last year,
4:38
I dived in,
4:40
stuck my pinky toe in to the
4:43
world of south park, uh,
4:46
via one of their beloved
4:48
Christmas characters, Mr.
4:50
Hanky, the Christmas pooh. And
4:53
this year, we want to take a look back to
4:56
Mr. Hanky, this beloved
4:59
character. And, ah, while we're not here to
5:01
discuss again the difference between Mr. Hanky
5:04
and nutty, the Christmas dump, which
5:08
I shared, my thing, but like, justice for nutty, you know what I'm
5:11
saying? But this year, I want to
5:14
discuss Mr. Hankey's second appearance on south
5:16
park. We need to talk about it because
5:19
it's Christmas and
5:22
we need to just get it straight going here.
5:26
Uh. Oh, bless up. I
5:28
gotta tell you right now, the orange
5:31
vanilla polar seltzer, if you want to trade, if you want to treat yourself
5:34
something, if you want, if you want a little holiday treat for
5:37
yourself this year, go get yourself a twelve pack.
5:40
Go get yourself a soda, but go get yourself a
5:43
twelve pack of polar seltzer in the
5:46
orange vanilla variety. You won't be disappointed.
5:49
To me, it is the most
5:51
unlacroy lacroix like product. This is
5:54
not a lacroix thing. Last week, when we talked
5:57
to Jerry Crane, um, shout out,
6:00
Jerry, thank you for letting us invade
6:03
your space. Um, we talked about
6:05
the bougie ness of this is not a lacroix ad, but, like,
6:08
polar seltzer, is it? Uh, and the orange vanilla
6:11
flavor is very good. So if
6:14
you want yourself a little Christmas treat there, hit
6:17
that up. It's very good. Uh, but we need to talk about
6:20
south park, and we need to talk about Mr. Hankey's second
6:23
appearance. So again, to
6:26
give some context, um, you might be asking
6:29
yourself, well, is this guy a,
6:31
you know, does he,
6:34
like. Is this, like, a South park
6:37
fan? Is he one of these deep
6:40
cut, Louis. And this is my interaction
6:43
with South Park. I watched about three minutes
6:46
of a clip of South park when I was in high
6:48
school. It was making fun of some Mormon people, whatever.
6:52
And then I watched the entirety of Mr.
6:55
Hankey's debut episode last year,
6:58
and now I have seen about one and a half more
7:01
episodes in research for this week's
7:04
episode of the podcast. So
7:08
the episode, you really have to view two episodes
7:11
to get some context. The
7:14
episode title, that is the
7:17
official Christmas episode, is Merry
7:19
Christmas, Charlie Manson. Uh,
7:22
but in research for this, and to give
7:25
context to what is going on, because I started that
7:28
episode and I got a little ways in, I was like, something has happened to
7:31
Mr. Hankey between the last time I saw Mr. Hanky and
7:34
Mr. Hankey's appearance in Merry Christmas, charlie
7:36
Manson. But research is research. And
7:39
I had to go watch, ah, another episode,
7:42
um, which was. And
7:44
content warning here. Uh, I didn't name this
7:47
episode. And what I can tell from the
7:50
writers of South park is this is kind of their humor.
7:52
But the episode is called
7:57
Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls.
7:59
Now, he creates a treat
8:02
in the episode that are these
8:05
little round, like, meatball looking things, but they're chocolate,
8:08
and they've got, like, sea salt. Chef's chocolate
8:11
salty balls. They know what they did,
8:14
but it
8:16
is what they are. Um,
8:20
also, chef is black. If you're
8:22
listening to this and haven't seen South park, chef
8:25
is black. So that's why it's chocolate. Just a
8:28
little context there. The joke goes on
8:31
for some time. Uh, anyway,
8:34
Kyle, I think. I think it's Kyle. I'm
8:37
not really too keen on which boy is which at this
8:39
point. Um, but
8:42
Kyle hears Mr. Hankey
8:45
calling to him from the toilet, and later,
8:48
the sewers and the boys go down in the
8:51
sewers to figure out what's going on, because it turns
8:54
out some film festival,
8:57
uh, in town has attracted so many
9:00
organic living and grain fed
9:03
la residents that it is causing
9:05
problems in the sewer. So all these, like, grass and
9:08
corn fed hippies come to town for this
9:11
film festival, and it's causing some real
9:14
problems in the. So, you know, Mr.
9:17
Hanky's in trouble,
9:20
but he can't leave because he's only supposed
9:22
to come to the surface once a year at
9:25
Christmas time, whatever. And I think
9:28
this is where the Hanky lore starts to shine and
9:31
really set itself apart from nutty, the friendly dump
9:34
or nutty, the Christmas dump, whatever. Is
9:37
that because last, you know, nutty, the friendly dump.
9:40
I mean, he really is quite similar
9:43
to Mr. Hankey. Like, at
9:46
best, they would be like friends
9:48
or like cousins or something.
9:51
But we find out some lore about Mr.
9:54
Hankey. And the first here is that Mr. Hankey is pretty
9:57
concerned with hygiene. So he tells the
9:59
kids that they got to deal with this because there's too much
10:02
poop. It's out of control. And so the
10:05
kids go back up after these children climb into the
10:08
sewer. Um, yep. They go back up
10:11
out of the sewer and tell the people of the town they will kill
10:14
Mr. Hanky if they don't stop pooping.
10:17
But they don't believe the kids. So Kyle
10:20
has to take Mr. Hanky to the surface
10:23
outside of Christmas to prove
10:25
it, and they do so. And Mr.
10:28
Hanky almost dies. Spoiler alert. If you haven't
10:31
seen this South park episode from, like, 20 years
10:34
ago, spoiler alert. Mr. Hanky almost
10:36
dies in this episode. And,
10:39
um, what comes to the rescue
10:42
of Mr. Hanky other
10:45
than it's none other than chef's
10:47
chocolate salty balls. Yes.
10:52
Now, once chef's chocolate
10:55
balls revive Mr. Hanky,
10:58
and thus kind of not save Christmas
11:01
in this episode, but, like, save the
11:03
town, which is such a Christmas
11:06
theme in a non Christmas episode,
11:09
but it revives Mr.
11:11
Hanky. And this is where we get
11:14
Mr. Hanky lore. Point number
11:17
two. And that is this.
11:20
That Mr. Hanky is like a
11:22
wizard. Not only is he a wizard, but
11:25
he's a wizard who can control the poop in the
11:28
sewers and cause it to rise
11:31
and shoot up and out of the sewers,
11:34
thus freaking out all of the townspeople in
11:37
South park. Essentially, the premise of this episode
11:40
is the kids. So that's the background.
11:43
That's what happened prior to this.
11:45
So in the episode Merry
11:48
Christmas, Charlie Manson, which is the
11:51
second official Christmas episode, and,
11:54
uh, Mr. Hanky plays
11:57
kind of a secondary role here.
12:00
And essentially, the premise of the show is the kid's going a
12:03
road trip with one of the boys'mom to Nebraska to
12:05
visit his grandma. And on the way, on the
12:08
roadside, they see a sign
12:10
advertising Mr. Hanky,
12:13
who is going to be at the mall. And
12:16
so through a
12:19
strange turn of events, um,
12:21
and it's weird, but Charles Manson
12:25
actually ends up taking the boys to the
12:27
mall. Yes, criminal,
12:32
known criminal. Charles Manson. Yes.
12:35
Takes this group of small children to the mall,
12:38
uh, to visit Mr. Hankey.
12:41
Now, at this point,
12:44
I'm about two and a half episodes of South park
12:46
in, so I'm not sure if things like this happen often,
12:50
but there seem to be these weird,
12:53
like, these
12:56
children are involved in adult situation
12:58
gags that are ongoing.
13:00
Um, but,
13:03
yeah, so they get to the mall,
13:06
and of course there's a line to see Mr. Hankey. And the question is
13:09
posed. Mr. Hankey is
13:12
also supposed to be appearing at a mall across
13:14
town. How can Mr. Hankey be in
13:17
two places at once? And of course, the answer is his
13:20
magical powers, which we have already seen
13:22
evidenced in chef's
13:25
chocolate salty.
13:28
So the boys are waiting in line
13:31
for Mr. Hankey to meet Mr. Hankey, even though they've already
13:34
met him and seemed to have, like, a personal connection with him.
13:37
Whatever. But while they're doing so, Charles
13:39
Manson is watching a Christmas special in a TV
13:42
store or something, and they've swapped all
13:45
the characters of the Grinch with Mr.
13:48
Hanky Pooh stand ins.
13:51
These include Grinchy Pooh and Cindy Lou
13:54
Pooh. It's pretty compelling stuff. So not only
13:57
is Mr. Hanky a South park character, he's also
14:00
a celebrity one to the point where
14:02
the media has made
14:06
Mr. Hankey
14:08
content, such as
14:11
Grinchy Pooh and Cindy loo poo.
14:14
Now, uh,
14:17
okay, so this is where the show, to me, gets to
14:20
be a little meta. And I believe
14:23
that we already know in the world of South Park,
14:25
Mr. Hanky is real to these kids. He's not a figment. In their
14:28
imagination, they've met him.
14:31
However, much like Santa Claus is
14:34
real, much of the media
14:36
gets their kick with Christmas
14:39
by making media
14:43
suggesting Santa is real.
14:46
But they do it in a way which m also
14:49
lets them key in, like, hey, we also don't really
14:52
think he is. And that's their problem. But they
14:54
seem to be. The world that the south park
14:57
creators have built seem to
15:01
swap Mr. Hanky in for
15:03
Santa. Now, the mall hanky is not
15:06
the real Mr. Hanky, and the fake tells them Mr. Hanky
15:09
isn't real, which, of course, triggers Kyle
15:12
or Cartman or whichever one has a special relationship with
15:15
this turd, this festive holiday
15:17
turd. Uh, again, I cannot tell
15:20
you which child this is. If you're a South park
15:23
fan and you're just like triggered because I can't figure out which kid
15:26
is which. I know that Kenny dies a lot more
15:29
on that later in this episode, Charlie Manson
15:32
rediscovers the magic of Christmas, turns himself in, and they all
15:35
learn about the happiness of,
15:41
you know, Santa Claus is coming town
15:44
they found the joy of Christmas. The greatest way to
15:47
spread Christmas cheer is sing loud for all to hear. You know what I'm saying? But
15:50
Charles Manson discovers this magic and changes.
15:53
Here's the deal, and I want to note
15:56
this. Santa exists
15:58
in the world of South park. He's been in it
16:01
before. He was in the original Mr.
16:04
Hanky the Christmas pooh episode. And ah,
16:07
so the writers seem set on this
16:10
running gag. And so
16:13
last year, and by
16:16
the way, the running gag is this. Wouldn't it
16:19
be funny if not just like,
16:22
they're not suggesting that in South park they don't do
16:24
Santa. They're suggesting that in
16:27
addition to Santa Claus,
16:30
the town of South park or the world that South park
16:33
exists in also observes
16:37
Mr. Hm. Hankey. And the culture in the media
16:40
treat Mr. Hankey much like the culture
16:43
in South park and our world here
16:46
treat Santa. So there you go.
16:50
The writers seem set. And last year we used
16:53
Mr. Hankey to discuss the woes and possible
16:56
foul play between Mr. Hankey, the
16:59
Christmas pooh, and nutty, the friendly dump.
17:01
But I want
17:04
to use the about 35
17:07
to 40 minutes of South Park I have watched
17:10
thus far to be able to understand and
17:13
discuss Mr. Hankey, to say
17:15
something. And that's
17:18
this. Uh, and I mean,
17:21
had here now, one could
17:24
argue that I could have went out and bought a box set DVDs or went on
17:26
Amazon or something and bought, but
17:29
just bear with me. I had to watch South park
17:32
on HBO Max. Uh,
17:36
and I want this to be understood loud and
17:39
clear here. HBO
17:42
Max can go ahead and frig straight
17:45
off. That's where I'm at. I'm so
17:47
mad at whoever,
17:50
whoever the jack wagon at HBO is, they can
17:53
go sniff dirt. Here's why.
17:56
So for those of you don't know, the people of
17:59
HBO Max are awful tyrants who only care
18:02
about sponging you for every
18:05
dollar. That's their goal. They
18:08
don't care about your entertainment. They don't give
18:10
six turds about it. Mr. Hankey'd
18:13
be pissed if he knew what
18:16
HBO Max was doing. That's all I'm saying about
18:19
that. In fact, not only would he
18:22
be so upset, but
18:24
HBO's track record is as soon as they just
18:27
don't feel like it anymore, they just delete Mr. Hankey
18:30
off the face of the planet. He's gone forever.
18:33
Now, you might be thinking to yourself, well,
18:36
why are you so mad? So here's the thing.
18:39
HBO home, um, box office
18:41
entertainment, uh,
18:45
it used to be, like, where you'd go watch Game of Thrones, but
18:48
once everybody entered the streaming wars, HBO had to get
18:51
their finger in that pie. And they came out with HBO Max, and
18:54
it was pretty hot for a minute. Like, there was a
18:56
minute where people were gangbusters about HBO
18:59
Max. But what happened
19:02
was, they're stupid.
19:05
And they began to delete
19:08
shows, cutting their own shows. I'm not talking
19:11
like shows they've bought. They did that, too. I'm talking
19:14
about shows that are labeled HBO Max,
19:16
original content, like that they
19:19
produced and deleting them from the
19:22
platform, not selling them to
19:25
a different platform, not releasing the rights. So that
19:28
way maybe somebody else could pay them royalties to put that,
19:30
no, deleting it forever.
19:33
It's gone. They also cut
19:36
bunches of independent TV projects,
19:39
things they'd purchased from Comedy Central. I'm looking
19:42
at you, South park. I'm looking at Mr. Hanky.
19:44
Like, I think HBO Max would have some gall
19:47
to delete South park. But
19:50
if the going gets tough enough, they
19:53
might because they have
19:56
canned so many. And I know you're thinking, well, just
19:59
go watch it on Netflix when they. But no, they're deleting
20:02
them. Like, they're gone. They don't exist
20:05
outside of any DVDs of those shows that
20:07
existed prior to that. And,
20:10
um, the reason
20:13
that I'm so frustrated with HBO
20:16
and why, uh, they just are stupid
20:19
to me is they canned two of the
20:22
programs I signed up for. So, like, I got
20:25
on HBO and I was like, ho, baby, ho, baby. I'm going to
20:28
watch these shows so good. And
20:31
within a week of me signing up to watch these
20:33
shows, HBO deleted them
20:36
forever. And I'm sure
20:38
HBO has their reasons, but I don't care. Your
20:41
reasons are stupid. A tax write off is a
20:44
dumb reason to do,
20:47
and I'm sure that we apologize.
20:50
Um, but HBO took the hit already. That's why, if you
20:53
notice, if you're on Instagram and probably now that you've
20:56
listened to this, you're going to get all sorts of HBO ads, um,
20:59
because Mr. M, Officer Bezos is always listening.
21:02
But if you'll notice, they're trying to give away, like, three months for
21:05
$2 right now because they're scrambling
21:08
because people are mad, and rightfully
21:10
so, because they're stupid. Like, it is a stupid
21:13
choice. It's a dumb thing. They did this to
21:16
save a buck and try to get ahead, and they did it for a
21:19
tax write off. So the
21:22
reason I want to bring this up and I want to
21:25
use Mr. Hanky the Christmas
21:28
poo to discuss this
21:30
is, from what I can
21:33
tell, with the limited, again, very limited
21:36
interaction, we're talking like two and a half
21:38
episodes of South park I've watched. But it seems
21:41
to me that South park
21:45
is the type of show that really goes for it. And what
21:48
I mean by that is they're not afraid
21:52
to go for the throat for
21:55
anybody. From what I can tell,
21:58
nobody is safe. They just make fun of
22:00
everything. And, um,
22:03
my challenge is this. And this is what I want to
22:06
see. It's Christmas.
22:09
Maybe it's probably too late now. I'm sure they've already
22:11
got, like, the production on the Christmas special for
22:14
Mr. Hanky already done. But
22:17
please let there be a Mr. Hanky this year. If there is, I'll
22:20
watch it. That's my promise to South
22:23
park. Um, but
22:26
my challenge is this to the people at South park and the
22:29
people behind South Park.
22:32
Y'all gotta make an episode that's so friggin
22:35
meta about how dumb
22:37
HBO is for doing this.
22:40
Like, and I get why you might
22:43
not because you're on their platform and God
22:45
forbid, HBO, like, totally
22:48
delete your whole, like, South Park's
22:51
pretty big. When I'm going through the seasons,
22:54
there's a lot of them. Um,
22:57
but, man, how sweet would that be to
23:00
log into HBO Max
23:03
and just see an episode of South park where they're just
23:06
riffing on how stupid HBO is right now?
23:09
Like, man, uh,
23:13
I would pay for that episode. Mr.
23:16
Hanky. Mr. Hanky, the Christmas
23:19
pooh would want you to do that. That's all I'm saying
23:22
about, like, I've never met
23:24
the guy, but the two and a half
23:27
episodes that I have observed his performance.
23:31
Ah, we know he's a turd of magic. We know he cares
23:34
about hygiene. That tells me that
23:37
he loves animation magic and he wants the
23:40
right thing to be done. Hygiene. So, like,
23:44
South park, please make this.
23:47
Please dunk on HBO. Because HBO
23:51
and HBO, if you're listening to
23:53
still, I've already paid you for some time, so I have
23:56
your stuff. So you probably hear this and you go, I
23:59
don't really care because you already gave us our money, but I'm here to tell you
24:02
that you're dumb and you're making a stupid choice by
24:05
doing this to these shows. That's my two cent.
24:08
I'm not going to lie. I was going to do a poo in
24:11
the news this week, but, um,
24:15
I need to curate that a little more because
24:18
I went to find one and it's just article after
24:20
article of people being awful to each other.
24:23
Here's the deal. I
24:26
challenged South park and nobody listens to this nonsense
24:29
anyway, but here's the deal. Just kind of
24:32
humanity in general. It's the holiday season.
24:35
Quit being stupid with the bathrooms.
24:39
Can we just have a situation in a world where
24:42
when I go to check bathroom news, it's
24:44
not. The first five are not some pervert sticking a camera
24:47
in a bat. I'm just done with
24:50
it. Stop
24:53
it. Cut it out. In
24:56
HBO, undelete. These shows do
24:59
it now. Mr. Hanky would want it.
25:02
Well, that's enough of that. This, um,
25:05
brings us to the end of another episode of Privy. Thank you for being
25:07
here. Merry Christmas. Um, as always,
25:10
you can follow the show on social media.
25:13
We're at Privycast on all social
25:16
media. I'm working on
25:19
getting a discord organized. I'm an old fogey and don't understand
25:22
discord. Um, but if you want,
25:24
uh, search for
25:27
privycast on Discord, I think that's how you find it.
25:29
I'll try to put that out there a little more, maybe in the boobly dopper
25:32
below. Um, we're also on
25:35
Reddit now, rprivycast, so, yeah,
25:38
if wherever you're on social media, just track us down.
25:41
You can follow me. I'm at owlet seven.
25:43
Uh, you can send us an email,
25:45
privycast@gmail.com.
25:48
We'd love to hear from you. Send us episode
25:51
suggestions, anything that you really
25:53
want. We'd love to hear from it. Not anything. Um,
25:56
I don't know why I say that. I always say it and then I
25:59
instantly go, well, that was a bad idea. Somebody's going to send me a picture
26:02
of a turd. Actually, if you have a wild picture of a turd
26:05
and you just can't live without sending it in, I mean,
26:08
I will take them. Do you know what I'm saying? I will
26:11
take them. I want to take a moment
26:13
here. We had a rating that
26:16
was left us. Um, if you want to leave a rating, a
26:19
review, the five star options are preferred. And if you leave
26:22
us a, uh, review, if you type out a review, we'll read it here on
26:25
the pod. Uh, and so
26:28
the man himself, JP,
26:31
shout out to the man himself, JP. Five
26:34
stars. The podcast says, the crappiest pot around.
26:37
Hey, thank you. Thank you. Uh
26:40
uh, that's in good fun and I really appreciate
26:43
it. We appreciate the five star helps people
26:45
find the show. Leave us a rating and review and we'll
26:48
try to read those here. Um, thank you. The man himself,
26:51
JP, for that review. Um,
26:54
as always, we want to thank Kevin McLeod
26:57
for the use of bar room ballet as our intro and outro
27:00
music. This has been another episode of privy. Thank
27:03
you so much for joining us. And now,
27:06
as always, don't forget to flush.