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024 - Mistakes Cleared Up · North and South

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  Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
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  Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
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  Speaker 1: visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Megan Olson in Waxaw,
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  Speaker 1: North Carolina, September two thousand seven, North and South by
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  Speaker 1: Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell, Chapter twenty four Mistakes cleared up. Your
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  Speaker 1: beauty was the first that won the place, and scaled
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  Speaker 1: the walls of my undaunted heart, which captive now pines
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  Speaker 1: in a caitive case, unkindly met with rigor for desert.
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  Speaker 1: Yet not the less, your servant shall abide in spite
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  Speaker 1: of rude repulse or silent pride. William Fowler. The next morning,
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  Speaker 1: Margaret dragged herself up, thankful that the night was over.
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  Speaker 1: Unrefreshed yet rested, all had gone well through the house.
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  Speaker 1: Her mother had only wakened once. A little breeze was
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  Speaker 1: stirring in the hot air, and though there were no
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  Speaker 1: trees to show the playful tossing movement caused by the
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  Speaker 1: wind among the leaves, Margaret knew how somewhere or other
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  Speaker 1: by wayside in copses or in thick green woods, there
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  Speaker 1: was a pleasant murmuring dancing sound, a rushing and falling noise,
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  Speaker 1: the very thought of which was an echo of distant
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  Speaker 1: gladness in her heart. She sat at her work in
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  Speaker 1: missus Hale's room. As soon as that forenoon slumber was over,
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  Speaker 1: she would help her mother to dress. After dinner, she
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  Speaker 1: would go and see Bessy Higgins. She would banish all
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  Speaker 1: recollection of the Thornton family, no need to think of
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  Speaker 1: them till they absolutely stood before her in flesh and blood.
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  Speaker 1: But of course the effort not to think of them
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  Speaker 1: brought them only the more strongly before her. And from
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  Speaker 1: time to time the hot flush came over her pale face,
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  Speaker 1: sweeping it into color, as a sunbeam from between watery
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  Speaker 1: clouds come swiftly moving over the sea. Dixon opened the
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  Speaker 1: door very softly and stole on tiptoe up to Margaret,
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  Speaker 1: sitting by the shaded window. Mister Thornton, Miss Margaret, he
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  Speaker 1: is in the drawing room. Margaret dropped her sewing. Did
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  Speaker 1: he ask for me? Isn't Papa come in? He asked
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  Speaker 1: for you, miss, and Master is out very well. I
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  Speaker 1: will come, said Margaret quietly, but she lingered strangely. Mister
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  Speaker 1: Thornton stood by one of the windows with his back
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  Speaker 1: to the door, apparently absorbed in watching something in the street,
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  Speaker 1: but in truth he was afraid of himself. His heart
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  Speaker 1: beat thick at the thought of her coming. He could
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  Speaker 1: not forget the touch of her arms around his neck,
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  Speaker 1: impatiently felt as it had been at the time, but
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  Speaker 1: now the recollection of her clinging defense of him seemed
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  Speaker 1: to thrill him through and through, to melt away every resolution,
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  Speaker 1: all power of self control, as if it were wax
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  Speaker 1: before a fire. He dreaded lest he should go forwards
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  Speaker 1: to meet her, with his arms held out in mute entreaty,
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  Speaker 1: that she would come and nestle there, as she had done,
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  Speaker 1: all unheeded the day before, but never unheeded again. His
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  Speaker 1: heart throbbed loud and quick. Strong man as he was,
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  Speaker 1: he trembled at the anticipation of what he had to
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  Speaker 1: say and how it might be received. She might droop
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  Speaker 1: and flush and flutter to his arms, as to her
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  Speaker 1: natural home and resting place. One moment he glowed with
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  Speaker 1: impatience at the thought that she might do this. The
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  Speaker 1: next he feared a passionate rejection. The very idea of
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  Speaker 1: which withered up his future, was so deadly a blight
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  Speaker 1: that he refused to think of it. He was startled
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  Speaker 1: by the sense of the presence of some one else
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  Speaker 1: in the room. He turned round. She had come in
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  Speaker 1: so gently that he had never heard her. The street
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  Speaker 1: noises had been more distinct to his inattentive ear than
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  Speaker 1: her slow movements. In her soft muslin gown, she stood
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  Speaker 1: by the table, not offering to sit down. Her eyelids
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  Speaker 1: were drooped half over her eyes. Her teeth were shut,
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  Speaker 1: not compressed. Her lips were parted just over them, allowing
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  Speaker 1: the white line to be seen between their curve. Her slow,
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  Speaker 1: deep breathings dilated her thin and beautiful nostrils. It was
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  Speaker 1: the only motion visible on her countenance. The fine grained skin,
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  Speaker 1: the oval cheek, the rich outline of her mouth, its corners,
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  Speaker 1: deep set in dimples, were all wan and pale to day,
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  Speaker 1: the loss of their youth usual natural, healthy color being
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  Speaker 1: made more evident by the heavy shadow of the dark
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  Speaker 1: hair brought down upon the temples to hide all sign
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  Speaker 1: of the blow she had received. Her head, for all
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  Speaker 1: its drooping eyes, was thrown a little back in the
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  Speaker 1: old proud attitude. Her long arms hung motionless by her sides.
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  Speaker 1: Altogether She looked like some prisoner falsely accused of a
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  Speaker 1: crime that she loathed and despised, and from which she
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  Speaker 1: was too indignant to justify herself. Mister Thornton made a
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  Speaker 1: hasty step or two forwards, recovered himself, and went with
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  Speaker 1: quiet firmness to the door which she had left open,
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  Speaker 1: and shut it. Then he came back and stood opposite
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  Speaker 1: to her for a moment, receiving the general impression of
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  Speaker 1: her beautiful presence, before he dared to disturb it, perhaps
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  Speaker 1: to repel it, by what he had to say. Miss Hale,
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  Speaker 1: I was very ungry yesterday. It had nothing to be
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  Speaker 1: grateful for, said she, raising her eyes and looking full
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  Speaker 1: and straight at him. You mean, I suppose that you
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  Speaker 1: believe you ought to thank me for what I did
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  Speaker 1: in spite of herself, in defiance of her anger. The
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  Speaker 1: thick blushes came all over her face and burnt into
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  Speaker 1: her very eyes, which fell not nevertheless from their grave
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  Speaker 1: and steady look. It was only a natural instinct. Any
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  Speaker 1: woman would have done just the same. We all feel
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  Speaker 1: the sanctity of our sex as a high privilege when
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  Speaker 1: we see danger. I ought, rather, she said, hastily, to
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  Speaker 1: apologize to you for having said thoughtless words which sent
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  Speaker 1: you down into the danger. It was not your words,
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  Speaker 1: it was the truth, they conveyed pungently as it was expressed.
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  Speaker 1: But you shall not drive me off upon that, And
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  Speaker 1: so escaped the expression of my deep gratitude. My he
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  Speaker 1: was on the verge. Now. He would not speak in
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  Speaker 1: the haste of his hot passion. He would weigh each word.
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  Speaker 1: He would, and his will was triumphant. He stopped in
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  Speaker 1: mid career. I do not try to escape from anything,
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  Speaker 1: said she. I simply say that you owe me no gratitude,
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  Speaker 1: and I may add that any expression of it will
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  Speaker 1: be painful to me, because I do not feel that
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  Speaker 1: I deserve it. Still, if it will relieve you from
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  Speaker 1: even a fancied obligation, speak on. I do not wish
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  Speaker 1: to be relieved from any obligation, said he, goaded by
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  Speaker 1: her calm manner. Fancied or not fancied, I question not
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  Speaker 1: myself to know which I choose to believe that I
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  Speaker 1: owe my very life to you. Ay, smile and think
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  Speaker 1: it an exaggeration, if you will, I believe it because
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  Speaker 1: it adds a value to that life to think, Oh,
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  Speaker 1: miss Hale continued, He lowering his voice to such a
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  Speaker 1: tender intensity of passion that she shivered and trembled before him.
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  Speaker 1: To think circumstance so wrought that whenever I exult in existence, henceforward,
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  Speaker 1: I may say to myself, all this gladness in life,
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  Speaker 1: all honest pride in doing my work in the world,
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  Speaker 1: all this keen sense of being, I owe to her.
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  Speaker 1: And it doubles the gladness, It makes the pride glow.
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  Speaker 1: It sharpens the sense of existence, till I hardly know
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  Speaker 1: if it is pain or pleasure to think that I
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  Speaker 1: owe it to one. Nay, you must, you shall, hear,
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  Speaker 1: said he, stepping forwards with stern determination to one whom
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  Speaker 1: I love as I do not believe man ever loved
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  Speaker 1: woman before. He held her hand tight in his He
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  Speaker 1: panted as he listened for what should come. He threw
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  Speaker 1: the hand away with indignation as he heard her icy tone.
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  Speaker 1: For I see it was though the words came faltering out,
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  Speaker 1: as if she knew not where to find them. Your
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  Speaker 1: way of speaking shocks me. It is blasphemous. I cannot
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  Speaker 1: help it. If that is my first feeling, it might
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  Speaker 1: not be so, I dare say, if I understood the
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  Speaker 1: kind of feeling you describe. I do not want to
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  Speaker 1: vex you, and besides we must speak gently, for Mamma
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  Speaker 1: is asleep. But your whole manner offends me. How exclaimed
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  Speaker 1: he offends you, I am indeed most unfortunate, yes, said
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  Speaker 1: she with recovered dignity. I do feel offended, and I
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  Speaker 1: think justly. You seem to fancy that my conduct of yesterday,
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  Speaker 1: again the deep carnation blush, but this time with eyes
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  Speaker 1: kindling with indignation rather than shame, was a personal act
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  Speaker 1: between you and me, and that you may come and
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  Speaker 1: thank me for it, instead of perceiving as a gentleman would. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: a gentleman, she repeated, in allusion to their former conversation
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  Speaker 1: about that word, that any woman worthy of the name
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  Speaker 1: of woman would come forward to shield with her reverenced
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  Speaker 1: helplessness a man in danger from violence of numbers, and
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  Speaker 1: the gentleman, thus rescued is forbidden the relief of thanks.
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  Speaker 1: He broke in contemptuously. I am a man. I claim
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  Speaker 1: the right of expressing my feelings, and I yielded to
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  Speaker 1: the right, simply saying that you gave me pain by
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  Speaker 1: insisting upon it. She replied, proudly. But you seem to
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  Speaker 1: have imagined that I was not merely guided by a
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  Speaker 1: womanly instinct. But and here the passionate tears kept down
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  Speaker 1: for long, struggled with veheminently came up into her eyes
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  Speaker 1: and choked her voice. But that I was prompted by
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  Speaker 1: some particular feeling for you. You why there was not
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  Speaker 1: a man, not a poor desperate man in all that crowd,
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  Speaker 1: for whom I had not more sympathy, for whom I
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  Speaker 1: should not have done what little I could more heartily.
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  Speaker 1: You may speak on, miss Hale. I am aware of
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  Speaker 1: all these misplaced sympathies of yours, and now believe that
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  Speaker 1: it was only your innate sense of oppression. Yes, I
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  Speaker 1: though a master may be oppressed that made you act
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  Speaker 1: so nobly as you did. I know you despise me.
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  Speaker 1: Allow me to say it is because you do not
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  Speaker 1: understand me. I do not care to understand, she replied,
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  Speaker 1: taking hold of the table to steady herself, for she
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  Speaker 1: thought him cruel, as indeed he was, and she was
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  Speaker 1: weak with her indignation. No, I see you do not.
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  Speaker 1: You are unfair and unjust. Margaret compressed her lips. She
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  Speaker 1: would not speak in answer to such accusations. But for
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  Speaker 1: all that, for all his savage words, he could have
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  Speaker 1: thrown himself at her feet and kissed the hem of
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  Speaker 1: her garment. She did not speak, she did not move.
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  Speaker 1: The tears of her wounded pride fell hot and fast.
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  Speaker 1: He waited awhile, longing for her to say something, even
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  Speaker 1: a taunt to which he might reply, But she was silent.
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  Speaker 1: He took up his hat. One word more. You look
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  Speaker 1: as if you thought it tainted you to be loved
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  Speaker 1: by me. You cannot avoid it, nay, I if I
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  Speaker 1: would cannot cleanse you from it. But I would not
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  Speaker 1: if I could. I have never loved any woman before.
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  Speaker 1: My life has been too busy, my thoughts too much
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  Speaker 1: absorbed with other things. Now I love and will love.
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  Speaker 1: But do not be afraid of too much expression on
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  Speaker 1: my part. I am not afraid, she replied, lifting herself
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  Speaker 1: straight up. No one yet has ever dared to be
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  Speaker 1: impertinent to me, and no one ever shall. But mister Thornton,
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  Speaker 1: you have been very kind to my father, said she,
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  Speaker 1: changing her whole tone and bearing to a most womanly softness.
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  Speaker 1: Don't let us go on making each other angry. Pray don't.
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  Speaker 1: He took no notice of her words. He occupied himself
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  Speaker 1: in smoothing the nap of his hat with his coat
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  Speaker 1: sleeve for half a minute or so, and then rejecting
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  Speaker 1: her offered hand, and making as if he did not
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  Speaker 1: see her grave look of regret, he turned abruptly away
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  Speaker 1: and left the room. Margaret caught one glance at his
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  Speaker 1: face before he went. When he was gone, she thought
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  Speaker 1: she had seen the gleam of unshd tears in his eyes,
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  Speaker 1: and that turned her proud dislike into something different and kinder,
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  Speaker 1: if nearly as painful. Self reproach for having caused such
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  Speaker 1: mortification to any one. But how could I help it,
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  Speaker 1: she asked of herself. I never liked him. I was civil,
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  Speaker 1: but I took no trouble to conceal my indifference. Indeed,
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  Speaker 1: I never thought about myself or him. So my manners
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  Speaker 1: must have shown the truth all that yesterday he might mistake.
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  Speaker 1: But that is his fault, not mine. I would do
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  Speaker 1: it again if need were, though it does lead me
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  Speaker 1: into all this shame and trouble. End of Chapter twenty
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  Speaker 1: four